Mini-Goals - Telling the boyfriend




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jessica2231
05-05-2011, 07:27 PM
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 1/2 years. I plan on marrying this man but, I have never told him my weight. He has never judged or said anything about my weight. He has loved me fully and completely from the first day we met and has loved me even through my 45lb gain in that last 2 years.



I am fat yet he still loves me, I was so ashamed of it i refused to tell the person that i trusted the most. (maybe it was cuz he is a toothpick himself)

Well last night I reached my goal number 4!

I told him exactly how much i weighed a week ago before I began my new lifestyle and I told him exactly how much i weigh now!

It was so invigorating and uplifting just to divulge this information to him. We had an amazing conversation and we talked all about everything i have been doing. he looked at my notebook and read almost every word of it!

Last night we bridged the gap and i now have no walls up against him. I now am completly an open book to him.

Whats better? he is so proud of me and encouraging!

Thank you so much 3FC for the support!

SW 254
CW249
GW126


bargoo
05-05-2011, 07:30 PM
The truth will set you free, congratulations !

comeasyouare
05-05-2011, 08:17 PM
Congratulations!! I am in the same boat and it makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone. I just admitted to my husband how much I weighed when I began my weight loss journey. I was so ashamed of having gained so much the last 5 years of being with him. He didn't judge at all and even comments on how much I've lost!


Riestrella
05-06-2011, 10:10 AM
Congratulations to you!!

I know exactly how you feel, the night before I found this forum I had a similar conversation with my boyfriend. I was lying to myself and therefore lying to him. I came clean, told him how much I weighed and said that I was officially Obese. He was so supportive, said it didn't change anything about the way he feels and it's be so refreshing to share this journey with him.

I wish you all the best! Keep it up =D

Soon2beSEXY
05-06-2011, 10:59 AM
You are so lucky of having your boyfriend in your life, jessica2231! I had the opposite. My x-bf dumped me because I was not losing weight. He even gave me a deadline to lose weight. But since I could not, he broke up with me. I was a failure but not now because finally, I have decided to buy weight loss pill that will help me with the boost I need.

Congrats! It makes me believe that there is someone out there who is willing to love a person no matter what her weight is.

Do I hear wedding bells anytime soon?

myhaloisintheshop
05-06-2011, 11:19 AM
Ive been married for 14 years and my husband and i have only had one conversation about my weight. He has never once been negative--he simply told me that he's worried about me. you would think that would be enough to make me try to lose but that was 4 years ago.

When I got in a car accident a year ago I got to see how much I had actually gained because I couldn't avoid the scales in the ER or doctor office. I was upset about it but would never tell my husband the number. I started dieting and was excited about my weight loss and my husband said something about me not being able to share that with him and how it wouldn't change anything.

so that day I sat down and wrote out all my feelings about my weight--my struggles and how much i needed his support and I shared the number. It DID change our relationship. Now i feel like there are no secrets and I feel a sense of freedom from that.

jessica2231
05-06-2011, 11:35 AM
The truth will set you free, congratulations !

thank you it completly set me free and now were completly in it together!
:carrot:

jessica2231
05-06-2011, 11:37 AM
Congratulations!! I am in the same boat and it makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone. I just admitted to my husband how much I weighed when I began my weight loss journey. I was so ashamed of having gained so much the last 5 years of being with him. He didn't judge at all and even comments on how much I've lost!

It feels amazing knowing we now have no secrets. Thank you for the support comeasyouare!

jessica2231
05-06-2011, 11:38 AM
Congratulations to you!!

I know exactly how you feel, the night before I found this forum I had a similar conversation with my boyfriend. I was lying to myself and therefore lying to him. I came clean, told him how much I weighed and said that I was officially Obese. He was so supportive, said it didn't change anything about the way he feels and it's be so refreshing to share this journey with him.

I wish you all the best! Keep it up =D

:carrot:Congratulations to you to! I couldnt beleive how good i felt to admit it to him and my self that i was obese and im going to fix it!
thank you for your support Riestrella!!!

jessica2231
05-06-2011, 11:40 AM
You are so lucky of having your boyfriend in your life, jessica2231! I had the opposite. My x-bf dumped me because I was not losing weight. He even gave me a deadline to lose weight. But since I could not, he broke up with me. I was a failure but not now because finally, I have decided to buy weight loss pill that will help me with the boost I need.

Congrats! It makes me believe that there is someone out there who is willing to love a person no matter what her weight is.

Do I hear wedding bells anytime soon?

There definetly are people who are genuine and see past looks. I know you will find someone that deserves you! thank you for your support soon2besexy!!!:cb::cb:

jessica2231
05-06-2011, 11:41 AM
There definetly are people who are genuine and see past looks. I know you will find someone that deserves you! thank you for your support soon2besexy!!!

jessica2231
05-06-2011, 11:42 AM
Myhaloisintheshop OMG! i know exactly what you mean no secrets and freedom and support is exactly how i feel. he even told me that now he is able to be here for me and congradulate me on my way through this journey and help me to!
thank you for your support!

dragonlady1978
05-06-2011, 12:48 PM
You're very blessed to have such a supportive boyfriend...he sounds like a keeper!

I still haven't told my hubby how high I hit this time, but he does try to cheer me on when we talk about how much I've lost. I was just thinking about this yesterday-when I eventually get to goal how can he not know how big I was when I say I've lost that much? Unfortunately he knows how to add/subtract and it will be obvious whether I admit it or not.

lmstrain
05-06-2011, 02:07 PM
Congratulations!! I am in the same boat and it makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone. I just admitted to my husband how much I weighed when I began my weight loss journey. I was so ashamed of having gained so much the last 5 years of being with him. He didn't judge at all and even comments on how much I've lost!

That's great! I'm still scared to tell my husband. He is very fit and very active and has an amazing body. Although I was 50lbs lighter when we first started dating, I was NEVER in great shape. I think after I reach my goal I will tell him. Until then, I'm just embarrassed. =(

melissakd
05-06-2011, 02:49 PM
That's great! I'm still scared to tell my husband. He is very fit and very active and has an amazing body. Although I was 50lbs lighter when we first started dating, I was NEVER in great shape. I think after I reach my goal I will tell him. Until then, I'm just embarrassed. =(

I'm in the exact same boat. BF is 6' and 160.... i just can't tell him that I outweighed him by 90 lbs!

mj5
05-06-2011, 03:01 PM
First let me say congratulations to you on your new lifestyle!!! You are doing awesome! And, I think it is awesome that you were able to share this with your bf. I have been married for 14 years and just told my husband (within in the past several months) how much I weighed...actually, now my current and last year's biometric testing results are posted on our refrigerator. I am SO proud of the results. Next year's will be even better. I agree, it brought us closer, if that was even possible. He has always been supportive, but now, well, it's different. I don't even know how to describe it...but it is an amazing feeling to be able to share it with him.

JEN3
05-06-2011, 05:10 PM
Jessica2231,

Good Thread! I started dieting when my size 3X shorts were skin tight. We recently bought a house and one day I walked past a bay window that faces the back yard and got a full view of my bod in the reflection. The first thing I said was, “Oh, my God what have I done to myself?!” I’ve never told my BF how much I weighed. Since that day, I’ve lost 47 pounds out of sheer embarrassment.

My boyfriend who is tall and skinny has never said anything about my weight. He has watched me pack on the pounds for the last 10 years. I’m not sure that I have to tell him my weight. He compliments me on my weight loss and tells me how proud of me he is. I plan on rewarding him by getting thinner than when we met.

I believe sometimes, something’s, don’t need to be said. He just bought me a Dooney and Bourke purse for Mother’s Day and we don’t even have children, just Pet-Kids. I feel lucky to have a man that will love me no matter what. I think I’m just going to let sleeping dogs lie and keep losing weight for both him and me.

Trolsk
05-06-2011, 05:14 PM
Wow, I wish I'll have a relationship like that someday too!

You must be feeling very lucky, as must he! You seem like a really nice person, after all.

jessica2231
05-06-2011, 05:18 PM
That's great! I'm still scared to tell my husband. He is very fit and very active and has an amazing body. Although I was 50lbs lighter when we first started dating, I was NEVER in great shape. I think after I reach my goal I will tell him. Until then, I'm just embarrassed. =(

i didnt do it until i realised that i was holding myself back. im ashamed of how fat i am but im making a change and i want him to be there with me. and i really sat down and thought about it, if this man doesnt love me after he knows the horrids secret number. then he isnt the one for me.
it really felt so freeing and amazing!

do it on your own time when you feel comfortable doing it and im sure you will feel so good!!!!
i did!:carrot:

jessica2231
05-06-2011, 05:21 PM
I'm in the exact same boat. BF is 6' and 160.... i just can't tell him that I outweighed him by 90 lbs!

thats exactly what i was afraid of! my boyfriend is 130-140 and a tall guy so hes close to stick.

im 254 i outweighed him by over 100lbs!!!

do it when your ready though. I had to wait 2 1/2 years to be ready.

jessica2231
05-06-2011, 06:29 PM
Wow, I wish I'll have a relationship like that someday too!

You must be feeling very lucky, as must he! You seem like a really nice person, after all.

thank you! and you will. im a firm beleiver that there someone out there who derves you!

patootie
05-06-2011, 06:31 PM
Congratulations! This is definitely one I struggle with too. I think it's less that I'm afraid of how he'll react and more so that by admitting it out loud it means it's true. Thank you for sharing this, I think I need to take this leap soon too.

konfyoozed
05-06-2011, 08:24 PM
it's an amazing thing to find someone who accepts us, warts and all :) my fiance has known my weight for a long time. i text him daily with my weigh ins, actually. he's one of my biggest supporters because he knows it's for both of us (in order to have a baby)... i've even let him look at the awful progress photos to see if he can spot the changes... i was afraid to let him see pictures of me, even though he sees me all the time. how silly is that? like somehow the pictures make it more obvious than when i'm walking around with him...

he shared in my happiness when i passed the mark of "i'm no longer over 100lbs heavier than you!" (now it's 90lbs heavier) and he said when i'm ready he'll do the C25K program with me.

congrats to you for being brave enough to open up about it in the face of your fear... and kudos to your man for not letting a number matter to him! :)

blinkworks
05-06-2011, 10:08 PM
Jessica, I know exactly how you feel! I just went on plan a week ago, and that's when I told my boyfriend of a year how much I weigh. I'm very proud of myself for doing this, it was pretty hard to do.. and I'm proud of you too!

zoodoo613
05-09-2011, 10:58 AM
I haven't told my husband my weight. Isn't it silly? I mean, he knows how big I am, and having a number assigned to it won't really change that, right? But I still don't want to tell him.