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Old 05-05-2011, 03:41 PM   #1  
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Default I fell off, again.

I'm seventeen, and about a year ago I had lost my father. It wasn't until the end of summer that I really could put myself back together.

With the first anniversary of his loss this month, I find myself repeating the same patterns and daily routine I did when this was new to me. I used food to distract myself. These past six months have been so amazing for me - I've never been happier. But the same feelings are creeping back and I really don't know how to manage them.

I haven't told my friends ever about this, and I'm really trying to do things different by opening up at least online. Aside from that, do you ladies have any advice?
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Old 05-05-2011, 03:46 PM   #2  
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I'm sorry you lost your father *hug*

Maybe it'd benefit you to seek professional help? Someone to talk to so you can sort out your feelings? I've gone to counseling before it did me a world of good

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Old 05-05-2011, 03:49 PM   #3  
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I went through something similar when my fiancé died. I would really recommend talking to one of your friends, just so you have someone who sees you regularly and can help you during such a rough period. I also found that being active was a big help in terms of both my mood and not over-eating.

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Old 05-05-2011, 03:50 PM   #4  
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Ah, thanks for the replies already ladies! I have been in counseling for quite a bit now...It definitely feels good to be doing something positive.

hugs to everybody for the kind words and support, it really means a lot.

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Old 05-05-2011, 03:51 PM   #5  
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I was a mess the first anniversary of my Father's death. It's understandable. Give yourself some space and try not to stress yourself more. Try to comfort yourself with something constructive and let yourself heal. I don't think feeling bad at this time is something you can just stop but you can make the choice not to comfort yourself with food. If you want to honor your Father, take good care of his child.

Don't be afraid to reach out to your loved ones. They will be there for you.

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Old 05-05-2011, 04:33 PM   #6  
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First I would like to say that I am very sorry about your father. I cannot imagine losing my father, and especially at such a young age. I can tell you that I lost my brother when I was in high school and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. The first year is the toughest. The pain never goes away but it starts to get better in the second year.
Sometimes I think about what my brother would think of how I am not living life to the fullest because I am feeling so badly about myself. At times I tell myself to do it in honor of him. I am sure your father wants you to be happy and healthy.
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Old 05-05-2011, 04:40 PM   #7  
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Hey girl
Grieving is a process and some days are good while others are really not.
I read a book called Women, Food and God. She basically said that we overeat or eat the things we know aren't helpful to us, because we are afraid that we can't handle the pain we're feeling. Afraid we won't survive it. But, here's the good news. You have already survived it. You have already started moving through it. Please don't give up! And if you 'fall off', get back on....you can do that. We always have an opportunity after we've 'failed' to pick ourselves back up, start again and make the right choice for ourselves in the next moment (even if the last moment included cheat foods, lack of activity and ruminating on things that aren't healthy or helpful for you).

You will persevere. Remember how you felt the last 6 months. Try to focus on that and say to yourself every day that you are moving forward, not backwards.

I am a singer and I have an album out that has a song on it that might be a good 'reset' song for you to listen to when you're feeling down. I in NO WAY intended to promote myself or music when I started responding to your post, but I just thought of the lyrics and thought I'd just tell you so you can maybe get some help from it. My name is Shannon Paige and it's available on itunes. The song is called 'Breathe' and another one called 'Moving On'.
I didn't want to sell anything to you, honestly. Just thought it'd be helpful!

Have a great day!!
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Old 05-05-2011, 04:42 PM   #8  
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Default sorry to hear about your loss

Sometimes stress adds weight without you even trying. I suggest build-up your nutrition. If you have a juicer, you could make a green juice every day. After 2 weeks juicing, I stopped craving bread, coffee, and cheese. I must have lacked something even though the doctor said it was healthy on paper.
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Old 05-05-2011, 06:02 PM   #9  
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Sorry for your loss. The one year anniversary is tough. It does get a bit easier after that, though.

I think distraction is an important technique during the grieving process -- you just need to find some no-calorie distractions! My favorite is planning a trip (it doesn't matter whether or not I ever take the trip, the planning is the distraction I need). Any project that requires some research (both in library books and on the internet) can be good, especially if it involves taking notes or making mind maps or other things that keep your hands as well as your head busy.
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