100 lb. Club - need to talk to some one else in the 300s




Rebecca85
05-03-2011, 11:44 PM
Please I need help. I need some one to talk to. Im 25 I should not be this big.... no one should. I have always been big and Im done but I cant seem to stick to it HELP ME PLEASE!! Losing my mind.


nikkster
05-04-2011, 12:26 AM
I've been there. I'm 25 and was at my high of 323... it does get frustrating, but you have to get through it..take it day by day. Soon you'll see results and be out of the 300s.

geoblewis
05-04-2011, 12:44 AM
Okay Rebecca. It sounds like you're done weighing that much. And you're moving forward with losing the weight and succeeding, according to your progress bar. Excellent! Take a little time to feel good about what you have already accomplished and exercise a little self-compassion. Because you deserve it! And beating oneself up for getting big never did anybody any good.

How long did it take you to lose the weight? What did you do in order to lose the weight? What is it that you're frustrated with right now? I'd love to learn a little more about you.


reptogirl
05-04-2011, 01:04 AM
why don't you join us in the 300+ i have a thread going there called who wants to get out of the 300's with me. you should join us :)

kaplods
05-04-2011, 01:52 AM
I've struggled with dieting since kindergarten (the past 40 years), and I've finally learned that you can succeed at weight loss even with severe "sticking with it" problems.

I always thought that if I couldn't stick with a plan perfectly - or at least in long stretches of perfection - that I were doomed to failure and fatness.

And yet, I'm now experiencing success that I have never had before. I've lost significant weight only three or four times in my life before "this time" and it was always by extreme methods. When I couldn't stick with the plan, I felt like a failure (and I insured that I was by abandoning my plan).

This time, I've "failed" off 90 lbs. I still can't stick to a plan to save my life, and yet I've "cheated" off 90 lbs.

What's different this time? Low-carb dieting helps me control hunger and lose weight more consistently, but I still have so much trouble sticking to my plan, that I'm off-plan nearly as much as I'm on-plan.

The biggest difference I think is that I no longer consider imperfection as a synonym for cheating or failure. To lose weight, I don't have to be perfect, I just have to do better. I will see results even if I only make small, slow changes (but with small changes, I need to be ok with small, slow results).

I'm not saying that you have to do this as slow as I have, but I can definitely tell you that you don't have to be perfect or even good at making changes. Even if you're very lousy at making changes (as I am) you can succeed just by focusing on improvement rather than perfection.

Mostly we're taught to "give up" if we find the changes difficult to stick to. We assume we're going to fail because we're not able to stick with our plan. But you don't have to be good at it, you just have to be better at it than you were before.

The "traditional" methods of weight loss don't work, because we're essentially taught to give up when we're not able to be perfect (I say taught - because we learn by watching others. The patterns that are most common are the ones we see most often. So when we see almost everyone failing, we learn to fail too, because we believe untrue things about the process - like that we need to be perfect, or at least mostly perfect to succeed. Then we make it a self-fulfilling prophecy by believing it and acting it out. We give up when we're not perfect, because that's what we've watched others do).

For me, "this time" has been different only because I decided that every pound mattered, and that even when I felt like I couldn't lose another pound, I would promise myself to work at keeping off what I've lost and to try to maybe lose just one more pound".

That was a mindset that has worked for me. Progress has been slow enough that most people (even my former self) would call it failure, but so be it. I'd rather fail off 90 lbs and never lose a single ounce more than go back to "perfectly" succeeding at losing (and then gaining) the same 30 lbs forever.

For me a "no backsliding" vow has really been key. It's not that I have prevented backsliding entirely, but I have put a stop to intentional backsliding and cliff-diving. What I mean by that, is that if mountain climbing were like traditional dieting, if you stumbled and fell, you'd throw yourself to the bottom of the cliff, so you could "start fresh." It's just as silly with dieting as it is with mountain climbing, but we do it over and over again because it's how we see almost everyone else do it. Instead it's important to catch a fall as soon as possible, and minimize the damage.

I don't know what will help you find your mountain path, or how fast or slow you'll be able to climb it, or how high you'll manage to climb, but you can make the journey one step, one choice, at a time. You don't have to make perfect choices, you just have to make better ones, and learn to avoid plunging off the nearest cliff when you inevitably stumble.

Learning to prevent stumbles from becoming leaps to our death, is probably the biggest hurdle, just because it's such a common one.

I think the answer there is just support - finding and spending time (in person or online) with people who've also decided to give up the cliff-diving habit.

For me, that means 3FC online and TOPS (taking off pounds sensibly) a weekly in-person meeting (sort of like WW except it's a non-profit organization and is run by members, not employees. Members can follow any diet they wish, and a year in TOPS is usually cheaper than a month or two of Weight Watchers. You also can win prizes for weight loss. For example my current group runs a lot of contests. At least three monthly contests and one weekly contest. For example for the weekly contest, every week, everyone one donates a dime and the biggest loser for the week takes all those dimes, usually about $2.50).

I know I've kind of rambled on and on (I tend to do that), but I love the topic so dearly that I can't help myself. Even though it's taken several years (ok, 6) to lose all 90 lbs (most of it in the last 2 years), it still feels like a miracle to me. I still can't believe that I've been able to lose this much weight just by deciding that it was ok to be imperfect (even the very, very, very imperfect that it takes to lose this slowly).

Hang in there, even when you feel you're not doing very well. Doing it half-assed is better than not doing it at all, and that I think is where we most often fail. We sort of expect that we should do it perfectly or miserably (and I was always a lot better at doing it miserably than perfectly so I was always much better at gaining than at losing - and that's still true and might always be true, which is why I had to give up doing it miserably).

Ky30
05-04-2011, 02:52 PM
I wasnt 300 but was close to it weighing 285. No one can help you you HAVE to wanna really do it yourself. What does help is coming here for support and I know challenges always keeps me going. Dont deprive yourself of things I dont know way your losing wieght but calorie counting for me works great and I can have what I want as long as I stay under my calorie I have set and its also important to drink lots of water and excerise even if its just taking a little walk in the evening. good luck you CAN do it.

Trazey34
05-04-2011, 03:25 PM
I was exactly 323 pounds and thought that was my lot in life. As a matter of fact, I thought "oh 323 isn't THAT big..." LOL until I saw a 6'5 football linebacker's stats on tv, and I weighed MORE than him!! Or heard a couple talking about their weight, the husband weighed 210 and the wife 115, and I weighed the same as the PAIR COMBINED... it started to sink in!

I gave up on perfection too, I gave up waiting for the "perfect time" to start a diet, where there'd be no big events or birthdays or office parties, and then realized that was ridiculous there IS no perfect time. So I started that very day. I didn't have any of the "right food" at home so I ate HALF of what I ate the day before. I went for a walk - in regular shoes, not special 'perfect' walking shoes. I just got up and did something.

Starting is what matters, sticking to it matters, forgiving yourself matters. We can't do it for you, it's all within you.

I was/am a boring old calorie counter and it worked for me, maybe something different will work for you. Whatever you can live with forever and a day is what works. I tried all the nutty fads, I tried Atkins and lost 30 pounds and gained it back as soon as i ate some fruit and a cookie LOL; i tried the 'eat only bananas and meat' today diet; i tried weight watchers; i tried herbal magic, I tried 'em all over 25 years and nothing's worked like boring counting! I certaily wasn't willing to 'live' on one of those plans for the rest of my life. At least with calorie counting i know if i realllllly want to have some cheesecake, i can as long as i count it in! It was such a revelation just HOW MANY calories are in things, geeez i had no clue!

And as corny as it sounds, I told a few people that I really admired and respected that I was dedicating myself to losing 60 pounds (that was my goal at first) and that I'd like to tell them about my losses. They checked in with me each week and encouraged me when i was down, it really helped a lot. I wasn't too particular about letting MYSELF down, but I didn't want to disappoint them - that helped a bit in the hard part at the beginning. Now of course it's all for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Rebecca85
05-04-2011, 04:28 PM
There is so much going on in my life right now it seem just to easy to fail. My thyroid meds turned me into another person, a person I dont like. I was always mad, and cranky. So against doc.s orders I stopped taking them which means its going to be even harder on me then it was before. *sigh* I am sealing my wedding dress off which is killing me but I would cry if my daughter could fit into it when she gets married. I have vowed that I will teach her to eat right and be active. My husband has promised me the wedding re-newel of my dreams if I lose the weight (well he said When I lose it) and that Ill give my daughter that dress to pass on. (our first wedding was planed for me I had very little say in it my mother took over) That and I want to be healthy to have babies. We have no kids yet the daughter I speak of has yet to be born. As far as what I did to lose the 11ish ponds was jumping between Atkins and WW.

LaceyCen
05-04-2011, 04:48 PM
I know exactly how you feel, and even more so, as I weighed a lot more than you did when starting out. (And I'm four years younger!)

If I had one recommendation, it would be to choose what plan you're going to use. For me, calorie counting is the only thing I'll stick to. I spent thousands of dollars on Nutrisystem, and ended up losing about 30lbs two different times, only to gain it back (plus more!) because it didn't teach me to make healthy food choices. It was either NS pre-packaged foods or binge. No inbetween.

Sometimes I think my body is seriously different than most people's, because I don't trust myself to decide 'I'm full' or 'I'm hungry'. I count calories. If I'm drastically under my calorie goal, I make myself eat. If I'm at goal, I don't eat.

I allow myself treats in my calorie count, and because of that I don't really have cravings/binges/etc.

Because of my hormones, I lose weight pretty slowly. But just because I've lost 'only' 50+ lbs in 10 months (instead of nearing the 100lb mark), that won't make me give up.

So, if you calorie count, I can't praise 'myfitnesspal' enough. It's a calorie-counting helper that I dearly love.

Good luck!

Sandi
05-04-2011, 05:27 PM
I was 368 at my highest weight, so I know where you are coming from and beyond. You are much younger than me. I can't tell you how much I wish that I had really attacked this when I was your age instead of dealing with it all this time. Please, do whatever it takes.

Starting is always the hardest part. For me, I always started, but then never stuck with it. It's really not the plan that you choose that dictates success, really they all work. You just need to pick one that you feel like you can stick to and then STICK TO IT!!!! That was the one thing that I just never did. A couple of months ago I made a 1 year commitment to stay on plan for 365 days. Period. No excuses. It's 9 weeks later and I have lost 30 lbs.

This can be done. I picked a plan that I felt was reasonable for me. 1800 calories. That's my daily limit. Now I am trying to exercise, get in 25 grams of fiber, drink my water and make better/healthier choices. But the 1800 calories, that the 1 rule that I don't break.

I am a huge fitday fan. I would die without it!

@ Lacey - we have the same starting weight...wish I were as tall as you! And as young too!

NotTheCheat
05-04-2011, 05:53 PM
If you have thyroid issues I would encourage you to talk to your doctor about other medications and/or other things you might do to treat your thyroid issues that won't make you sick. If you aren't happy with the answers your doctor is giving you, find a new doctor. If you don't do anything about it, things will be much more difficult in the long run.

I lost 110 pounds calorie counting. I feel off my wagon and gained back around 75 pounds. I am now back for serious round two. Except this time I am just over the diabetic border and extremely carb sensitive. What used to work for me isn't working anymore and I have to rediscover things all over again. It may take awhile to figure out what works for you, especially if you are also working with your thyroid issues. Your weight loss may be slow, but if you can find something you can live with and stick with, you can make it happen.

authentic
05-04-2011, 07:54 PM
I started my (current) weight loss journey in December at 310 lbs. That was a lifetime high weight for me. I have lost 50lbs over and over again, only to put on 60 the next time, etc. What go me to finally commit this time is that I simply was feeling really unhealthy at that weight. I was huffing and puffing even when I walked a little bit and my life was getting more restricted. I hated travelling, dancing, clothes shopping. With each pound gained, I gave up more and more.

I am doing a combination of weight watchers online and South Beach. Low carbs keep me from getting hungry and Weight Watchers keeps me from eating 5600 calories of meat and cheese a day.

I have lost 53 lbs since December and I am able to move around so much better and work out now. I feel so much better physically. I still have a long way to go but I feel I am going to reach my goal this time. if I can do it anyone can.

I agree with all the others who say that it doesn't matter which plan you pick. They all work. Just pick one and stick to it and you will reach your goal.

Ky30
05-05-2011, 10:14 AM
There is so much going on in my life right now it seem just to easy to fail. My thyroid meds turned me into another person, a person I dont like. I was always mad, and cranky. So against doc.s orders I stopped taking them which means its going to be even harder on me then it was before. *sigh* I am sealing my wedding dress off which is killing me but I would cry if my daughter could fit into it when she gets married. I have vowed that I will teach her to eat right and be active. My husband has promised me the wedding re-newel of my dreams if I lose the weight (well he said When I lose it) and that Ill give my daughter that dress to pass on. (our first wedding was planed for me I had very little say in it my mother took over) That and I want to be healthy to have babies. We have no kids yet the daughter I speak of has yet to be born. As far as what I did to lose the 11ish ponds was jumping between Atkins and WW.

I'm gonna assume you are hypothyroid like me. You NEED your meds in order for your body to work normally and it does help with the weight loss there WILL come a time without your meds you wont be able to lose anymore. Did you try a different kind of thyriod meds? My meds never made me cranky if anything it made me feel great I wasnt tired anymore, my hair wasnt falling out, etc. you should really reconsider taking your meds or else your metoblism is running slow you need it to fuction normally and thats what the meds are for.

Rebecca85
05-06-2011, 06:11 PM
I need help to keep myself in line. Will some one who ever fells comfortable write me once a week or so and check up on me? It sucks that I need this but I dont think I'll keep it up unless I have to answer to someone. Yes my meds are for Hypo Ill talk to me husband and doctor and see what we can do about the meds. I jst didnt feel like me any more.

Ky30
05-06-2011, 07:53 PM
I need help to keep myself in line. Will some one who ever fells comfortable write me once a week or so and check up on me? It sucks that I need this but I dont think I'll keep it up unless I have to answer to someone. Yes my meds are for Hypo Ill talk to me husband and doctor and see what we can do about the meds. I jst didnt feel like me any more.

Could of been a to high of a dose or to low of a dose that may be why it made you feel that way. I know I tried 50mg at first and it made no difference it was bumped up to 100mg and there was such a huge difference. Good luck just know you CAN and WILL lose the weight if YOU really wanna do it. Like I suggested before joining challenges keeps me going because I have someone to answer too try it.

reptogirl
05-06-2011, 11:26 PM
a buddy on here always helps, if you want someone to talk to you can private message me, i am on here almost every day at some point

Truffle
05-07-2011, 08:33 PM
The advice here is some of the best and most helpful I've read.

I especially like the example of NOT needing to be perfect. I've thrown myself "over the cliff" to have a fresh start too many times.

I really want to start and keep going this time.