Weight Loss Support - Literally in tears.




View Full Version : Literally in tears.


yhahmd
04-18-2011, 11:43 PM
I've posted about this a couple times in the past. This is mostly just a vent because if I don't talk to someone/write it somewhere I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. Probably STILL won't be able to sleep tonight.

My anxiety and paranoia has had a big flare up today. The past 2 days I just haven't felt myself. I've been checking my blood sugar (I'm not diabetic, but I have a diabetic pet so I have a meter) and the readings have been fine, but I feel like my blood sugar is low. It's scary. I figure it's just a bug, though, since diabetes doesn't run in my family and no one has it. (no one really believes me, and if they do, they don't think it's a big deal) Still scary, though, when you're a hypochondriac.

I'm so afraid I'm diabetic. I'm so afraid that even though I'm working my *** off, I might end up with diabetes. If I have to take insulin...it's not the giving-myself-insulin part that scares me, it's the "I could die" part. I know this is really pity-partyish and I might even be offending a few diabetics on here, but I'm not trying to I promise.

I am losing weight, and I am exercising a lot, and I've heard of hypoglycemia after exercising so...I don't know. If it's not diabetes, I think I might have some sort of hypoglycemia issue.

Once in a while my mom and I will go to the store, I get up at 930AM and eat, and we can be out sometimes until 2 or 3PM. If I don't get something to eat, I start to get dizzy, shake a lot, can't find the strength to smile or carry on a convo and if I have to it's rushed and irritrated, my heart feels fluttery, limbs feel as though they weigh a ton, and I feel like I'm empty and like the world has slowed down.


It doesn't happen SUPER often but it DOES happen. Right now I just feel kind of dizzy and like my limbs are heavy.

(I think, if it is true, why me? I'm actually trying to change myself for the better! But then I think, well, I'm young and losing weight, even if i do end up diabetic, they say people who lose the weight end up not even needing meds anymore so maybe I'll luck out!)

It also makes me terrified maybe something is wrong with my heart. Then again maybe I'm just getting too much sleep, but a true hypochondriac always goes with the worst...not because I WANT it or because I want the attention; it's a real actual fear in my head. I'm afraid that if I say "oh it can't possibly be that" and ignore it, what if I die of a heart attack or an enlarged heart because I never thought to ask?? I'm only 21! This is not how someone my age should be thinking. It's killing me! The adderall I'm on helps a LOT, but it's 11 at night and it's worn off hours ago, so yeah...I also have another paranoid/obsessive "easily able to decrease the value of living" food "thing" but I won't go into that.

I'm making an apt to see my doctor soon. I actually already have one for something else, so I'm going to try and bring it up.. And I know none of you are doctors and none of you can actually do anything about this, but I'm so scared and working myself into a panic attack and my family is tired of my freak outs so I had to come SOMEWHERE.

I'm sorry for the length. :( Now that I think of it maybe this goes somewhere else.


berryblondeboys
04-19-2011, 12:11 AM
You can have issues with sugar without being diabetic. Wht you are describing is a sugar/carb crash. So look at your diet. How many carbs a day are eating compared to proteins and fats? You may find that eating lower carb and higher protein and fat eliminates the carb jitters as eating lower carbs keeps your blood sugar more constant.

Thighs Be Gone
04-19-2011, 01:05 AM
I have experienced the same exact thing you are describing ever since I was a little girl. I remember once slumping to the floor of a dressing room and my mom yelling at me to get up--I was 10. The same thing can happen to me now but I have started doing something differently.

These days I have learned I must look after myself. For me, it includes tossing stuff into my purse when I think I MIGHT be caught off guard. An orange, a few almonds, a tuna packet or whatever--just as long as it's something!

I am sure you will be fine. Congratulations on your new lifestyle. Maybe making sure you are set each and every day for these possible episodes will be one more way for you to live your best life.


krampus
04-19-2011, 01:53 AM
Do you have low blood pressure? I have fairly low blood pressure and was experiencing similar symptoms while eating at loss calories (~1300/day with daily cardio workouts), but adding more salt and protein has been really helpful and I haven't felt that way since. It is really scary but I urge you not to jump to conclusions about diabetes - there are so many things, including just simply being hungry, that can make people feel weak and shaky.

Natasha1534
04-19-2011, 02:17 AM
Someone else pointed it out, but you can still have sugar crashes even w/o being a diabetic. I have had the same problems before, although not very often, and I agree it is a scary feeling. But working yourself into a panic attack isn't going to change anything, hon. Go see your doctor and have him check you out thoroughly. There's no need to worry just yet when you don't even KNOW that there's anything to worry about.

4star
04-19-2011, 07:20 AM
You could always get a full check-up at your doctor. Worrying is futile in the grand scheme of things. I know, don't worry, it's easier said than done but what are you getting for the energy you're putting into it?

A drop in blood sugar or blood pressure from time to time is a common occurrence. It doesn't necessarily mean you have some big bad condition to fear. Just ask your doc to check you over.

belmagick
04-19-2011, 07:50 AM
What everyone else has said, plus I think you need to remind yourself that you are doing everything in your power to preserve your health and not start panicking about it because when we get stressed we produce cortisol which makes you crave sugar and that probably makes you feel worse.

seagirl
04-19-2011, 08:00 AM
Pack a snack. Also, those physical sensations you described are the same ones as a panic attack. So they could be feeding off of each other (the fear over diabetes, the low blood sugar, then you start to panic and your system goes into overload.)

This book is super helpful with anxiety and panic. http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Acceptance-Workbook-Anxiety-Commitment/dp/1572244992/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1303214428&sr=8-1

LisaP916
04-19-2011, 08:02 AM
I'm going to add to this. Don't just see a medical practitioner. Also see a mental health practitioner. You said several times that you are a hypochondriac. Talking to someone who can help you understand why you keep jumping to the worst case scenario can help ease your anxiety about diseases that you don't have. I had to go through a certain amount of therapy before I could really focus on my physical health.

No amount of weight loss can fix what's going on in your head. That's a whole different kind of exercise.

Chubbykins
04-19-2011, 08:13 AM
My grandma, may she rest in peace, was a super hypochondriac.
She believed it so adamantly that she had parkinson's disease that she actually displayed ALL the symptoms, without suffering from the actual disease.
Perhaps you manifest your fears physically too. Blood sugar is tempered and regulated by hormones and hormones are regulated often by psychology. Agitation and nervousness will raise your adrenaline, adrenaline will make you burn more carbs and lower your blood sugar for a while.
Imo chill and if it continues go to a doctor for a full blood test. Remember to check your thyroid etc also if you go

yhahmd
04-19-2011, 09:51 AM
I had the night to think things over- I'm feeling a little better today. I don't feel dizzy or heavy-limbed, so that's good. I don't know if they were panic attacks, they were a pretty all-day feeling, and not how I usually experience them, but it's definitely a possibility. Usually when that happens I just crawl in bed or watch TV for a couple of hours. Bleh.

I know I need to see someone about it, but I just keep putting it off, because most of the time, when I have something to keep me busy, I'm OK. But the list just goes on and on of things I'm severely afraid of, it's kind of ridiculous, so I guess you guys are right. I don't FEEL like a 21 year old, I feel like a paranoid old lady.

As for how many carbs I'm eating...yesterday it said 37.71%, whereas my fat intake was43.73%. Then again I'm using livestrong and don't really know if I trust it anymore. And I didn't know that- I thought the more carbs, the better, for blood sugar problems. I guess I just learned somethng.

I try and work snacks in- I think I might not be eating enough, to be perfectly honest. I don't FEEL as though I'm not, but it seems like the days where I accidentally go over an extra hundred calories, the scale drops the next day, whereas if I was super strict, the scale might not drop at all.

So I guess I've got a lot to talk to my doctor about. I'm sorry for freaking out here, but like I said, my family doesn't wanna hear it, especially not as everyone is going to bed.:( thank you all <3

On a lighter note, scale said 163 today...and my whole upper body is sore from yesterday...so think I'm going to take today off.:^:

beerab
04-19-2011, 10:03 AM
I feel ya- last time I went to the doctor I told her I was scared of having a heart attack and dying and she told me I was crazy to think that, that I'm healthier than most of her patients and that the chances of me having a heart attack now are slim to none. She put my fears to rest.

As for low blood sugar that doesn't mean you are diabetic, you wouldn't be on insulin if your blood sugar was too low, what it sounds like you need is to ALWAYS have some sort of snack in your purse like a granola bar to eat in situations like that. Anyone who is healthy can get that way if they don't often enough. I'd die if I didn't eat from 9:30 am to 2 pm! My body would feel the same way as you if not worse!

yhahmd
04-19-2011, 10:09 AM
My mom can go for hours without eating- not on purpose, but she does it a lot, so she just expects that I should be able to. When I do get sick, I try to hold off as long as I can hoping we'll be finished soon, but then it comes and I need to go find something to eat. I think it bugs her but what else can I do?

and really? that's actually really nice to hear, and it was nice that she put your fears to rest. It's just I've had so many people over the years tell me I was gonna be diabetic because of how big I was, I guess maybe it just got stuck in my head. Once at a friends house, her parents came up to me, and proceeded to tell me if I switched to the way they ate (they were asian) that I would lose weight and be much healthier and avoid diabetes etc. THAT was uncomfortable.

beerab
04-19-2011, 10:19 AM
I swear it's such a foreigner thing to be blunt about your weight lol. I would ignore them.

You aren't going to be diabetic hun- you have brought down your BMI by 5 lbs, that's a BIG difference, people who are losing weight and becoming healthier don't become diabetic. In fact every few lbs you lose makes things even better for your body. So no more worrying!

You aren't your mom, it's crazy for her to expect you to not eat for hours on end, just take a granola bar and tell her you aren't going to punish your body by depriving it of fuel every few hours. If she wants to then fine with her. But she should "expect" you to not eat for hours on end. My hubby is like that. He is more of an intuitive eater and he can go HOURS without eating, I can't. There is nothing wrong with it but he knows I have to eat more often than he does. In fact in the time he eats 1 meal I can eat three! BUT he eats huge meals and I don't. That's another thing to think about- does your mom eat huge meals while you are eating smaller meals cuz you are trying to lose weight? Then of course you can't go as long as her!

The sooner you let go of the fear the sooner you'll lift that weight off your shoulders :) Trust me- when I realized that what I'm doing also reduced my risk of diabetes and how all the exercise I do has changed my health for the better (my doctor did blood tests and showed me the dramatic improvement she saw) I stopped worrying :)

Maybe getting a physical at the doctor will help you out as well :)

shannonmb
04-20-2011, 06:29 AM
I have anxiety that has sorta come and gone over the years. Back when I was in my 20s I was just sure there was something wrong with my heart. I would sometimes get consumed with these thoughts, sitting at work thinking, "crap, what if today is the day I collapse and the ambulance has to come for me in front of all my coworkers", but if it IS today, at least I'm at work and not home alone. Better check my pulse 20 times in the next couple hours to make sure my heart is still beating! Great, was that a chest pain? OH, I think I just had a chest pain -- "Elizabeth, I'm comin' to join you honey!" I would get really wrapped up in these thoughts and the more I had them, the more I would sense the physical "verification" of my imaginary heart ailment.

Strangely, even going to the doctor, talking him into setting me up with a cardiologist, getting the battery of tests and getting the A-OKAY did nothing to alleviate my anxiety. I was sure they were missing something on ALL the tests or that maybe I had some kind of heart ailment that just hasn't been discovered yet! Here I am 15 years later and the ol' girl is still ticking just fine.

I ended up seeing a therapist and taking paxil, even though I was HIGHLY skeptical that this was "all in my head". And voila, it went away for a good while. It has popped back up a couple times since then, but I am much better at recognizing my anxiety for what it is now.

I have no idea if you have the same kind of anxiety I have learned to live with, but I kinda saw myself in your words and thought I'd share. BIG :hug:.

Latchkey Princess
04-20-2011, 11:16 AM
Well, as a hypoglycemic I'll say that what you describe sounds like a sugar crash. I keep a stock of glucose tablets on hand for when I start feeling low, they're available over the counter and are just sugar tablets so they don't have any adverse effects or anything. Maybe you could check into those? Even if they did just have a placebo effect on you, it's better than nothing. I'm sure you'll be fine, just hang in there and go to your doc for a work up if you're unsure about it all.

Also, have you thought about looking into medications/treatments for anxiety? They help me with my issues (I was once convinced for two years that I had diabetes and the doctors were just missing it... Even tho my sugar levels were always in the normal to hypoglycemic range.)

yhahmd
04-20-2011, 11:21 AM
shannonmb, wow, you and I could be twins. That's exactly how I am. I'm the kind of person that actually holds my breath to make sure I can feel/hear my heart beat at night because I'm afraid it might stop. :/ It's a sucky way to live, most definitely.

I do take Adderall for ADD, and it helps with my anxiety too, but it was so late in the evening it had worn off. I don't know what caused the sudden anxiety. I'd like to see a therapist, though, but I'm not totally sure about it yet.

And Latchkey Princess, I'll definitely look into those. I didn't know they were JUST sugar, so I never thought to buy them. I figured maybe there was something else in them.

Silverdrmr
04-20-2011, 12:21 PM
I have anxiety that has sorta come and gone over the years. Back when I was in my 20s I was just sure there was something wrong with my heart. I would sometimes get consumed with these thoughts, sitting at work thinking, "crap, what if today is the day I collapse and the ambulance has to come for me in front of all my coworkers", but if it IS today, at least I'm at work and not home alone. Better check my pulse 20 times in the next couple hours to make sure my heart is still beating! Great, was that a chest pain? OH, I think I just had a chest pain -- "Elizabeth, I'm comin' to join you honey!" I would get really wrapped up in these thoughts and the more I had them, the more I would sense the physical "verification" of my imaginary heart ailment.

Strangely, even going to the doctor, talking him into setting me up with a cardiologist, getting the battery of tests and getting the A-OKAY did nothing to alleviate my anxiety. I was sure they were missing something on ALL the tests or that maybe I had some kind of heart ailment that just hasn't been discovered yet! Here I am 15 years later and the ol' girl is still ticking just fine.
.

Wow, this was me. When I started running and jumping rope at around 22 or 23 I would stop when I got this unfamiliar pain in my chest. I could have sworn I had arrythmia or something that would kill me if I didn't stop. I went to the doctor who told me that I was perfectly healthy and that I should drop a few pounds (which made me mad because I had already dropped 50 and loved where I was and she was a stick). With the "doctor's okay" I continued to exercise and eventually the pain went away.

Now I'm at the cusp of 30 and though I probably should be a little more anxious I'm not because I've somehow acquired this "what will be will be" mentality that would have been an anathema to me even a few years ago. This, of course, does not mean that I will not fight for my health in any way I can but there are something that just happen.

Coincidentally, today, I started doing interval training again (not quite HIIT but close) for the first time in years and that old familiar "chest pain" came back. Only this time, I recognized that I was pushing myself and it was good. It will eventually go away and I would be the stronger for it.:strong:

I still get anxious about some things but not nearly as many. I think it's part of the second guessing your "health" confidence. Like "I know I'm healthy, but what if I'm not?" Constantly hearing horror stories of people dying of undiagnosed diseases/conditions does not help in the least. :no: