General chatter - Long Rant... Opinions?

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04-16-2011, 12:54 PM

04-16-2011, 01:00 PM
Wow! Well, I used to be that girl in high school unfortunately. It stopped when one of my friends SHOUTED, "Can you not ever say anything without putting other people down to make yourself feel better!!!!!!!!!!"

Maybe being a little more abrasive and blunt will work :) It did for me. Bottom line, her self esteem is so bad that she brings others down too. It's unfortunate.

04-16-2011, 01:32 PM
People are very resistant to change. She's probably not going to change how she talks about other people. Especially since you've already called her out about it.

If you want to continue to be her friend, then just tune that stuff out. I do that when people start talking politics. I let them say whatever they have on their minds and I smile and nod, when I'm really not listening at all.

Good luck :)

DixC Chix
04-16-2011, 01:34 PM
She is doing it in the lunchroom where she perceives she is most likely to be judged by other people. She attacks others before they can 'attack' her. It is a terrible headspace to be in.

It is so difficult to hang around people who are negative is such a blatant fashion. Its a drag on your psyche as well. Its a lot of negative energy to be putting into the universe.

Tell her this: Some of her comments are rather hurtful because she judges people who are smaller than I am, which makes me wonder if/what sorts of things she says about me behind my back.

Challenge her to do the opposite and find 5 positive things to say about herself and one positive thing about other people!!! It will neutralize the negative energy and aura she carries around.

04-16-2011, 03:28 PM
If she seems to be critical of others the most in the dining hall, maybe she's feeling self-conscious and thinks putting everyone else down takes the attention off of her and it makes her feel better in a way. I wonder what she'd say if you asked her why she does it. I totally understand not wanting to go out for new friends right now and I can tell you do care about her as a friend. Good luck in talking to her :)