100 lb. Club - Stressed about meeting next week




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Joszac
04-12-2011, 09:37 PM
Next Tuesday we are having a company meeting. The owner of another company is looking at buying up the company I'm with now. That is actually GREAT news EXCEPT now I have to meet 2 new people in a business setting. Right now I know the people in the company I'm with, they've met me in person but I work from home so am alone a lot. So now comes the insecurity smacking me right in the face. My head is telling me the new company will not want me, even though it is a package deal, because of my weight. This is computer programming and Q&A (beta testing) so it's not like it is physical work. But I'm nervous as **** now.

I really hate the way I look, which is why I'm losing the weight, so I guess I project that on what others will think. I'm truly worried they will buy the company and then after a few months let me go because I'm fat. I know I shouldn't think that way but right now that is what I think.

Can this really ALL be coming just from my head? If it is how in the world do I get it to shut up?!!

Oh, and were all going to lunch after the meeting:(


JamiSue3916
04-12-2011, 11:24 PM
I have found that shutting that negative talk off feels next to impossible. I think, as you begin living life as the person you know you are, the negative self talk will slowly quiet. I think losing weight slowly makes that transition easier.

In the meantime, lean on those who love you most to remind you that are valuable and how you look does not play a role in your ability to showcase your talent!

bonnie2009
04-13-2011, 12:53 AM
joszac, I know this may sound a little "out there" but when I have a new situation that I am anxious about I visualize myself as someone else for that time period and/or I imagine how they would handle it. Examples, for me, of strong confident woman are Oprah, Hillary Clinton and many more but I pick one and practice the night before or earlier and try to imagine how they would handle the situation. There is a saying "fake until you make it". I think this why the visualization helps me.

I found this quote regarding worry: "Worry does not empty tomorrow of it's troubles. It empties today of it's strength."

My dad always told me "there is no one in the world better than you" and of course that goes for you joszac.:hug: :hug:


MEH1969
04-13-2011, 08:55 AM
I understand how you're feeling. You can't change someone's first impression of your appearance, but you can wow them with your knowledge and professionalism.

How many times have you met someone who was good looking, but got much less so when you talked to them and found out they were dumb as a box of rocks or not a nice person? I have many times.

Good luck!

Trazey34
04-13-2011, 09:30 AM
it's ALL coming from your head!! Yes, fat people are discriminated against, but AWESOME people are also welcomed and respected. If you're awesome at your job, that's what matters. If you were interviewing to be a Hooter's girl you might have some reason for your fears, but you WORK there already, your job is safe and secure, I'm assuming you're GOOD at your job as well !!

I've been "fat in the workplace" for 25 years longer than I've been thinner and it's made no difference! A firm handshake, confidence (fake it if you have to), a sense of humour and being good at your job are all you need to succeed! Don't let the stay at home bit bother you, start with it! "it's so great to see people" etc., be engaged and you'll be engaging! wow I sound like a motivational speaker lol but I hate to see people worrying about these things.

I have a patient with such crippling anxiety over this stuff, the ONLY thing that got thru to her was when I asked if she didn't think she was being a bit selfish? Imagining alllllll these people were only thinking about her? about her looks? kinda vain isn't it Patient X?? it really snapped her around LOL

Joszac
04-13-2011, 12:29 PM
Thank you all for your responses. I do feel better about it today but also know that feeling will come and go many times until the meeting. I can fake being a confident person even though I'm not. I just hate feeling this way and really hope there is nothing to these feelings job wise. That is a big concern for me.

Trazey34 - I don't know how I can forget that. Years ago I had someone tell me (on another issue) "The world does not revolve around your bellybutton." I have used that in other areas of my life so I guess it's time to bring that back into play again with this.

Thanks again you guys:)

Goddess Jessica
04-13-2011, 07:16 PM
When I went to my first "real job" interview, I was terrified. I thought for sure they would take a look at me and decide I was "too fat" to work for them even though the job was not a physical one.

I actually debated whether or not I should even go! Even though a friend who worked for the company had given me a recommendation and that's how I got the interview.

I remember sitting in the lobby thinking that I was crazy for even trying. And then someone came out and said that the manager was waiting for me and I could go in.

And you know what? She was even HEAVIER than me! I was so relieved!

I ended up getting the job and within three months (at the ripe old age of 19) I was promoted to a supervisor position because of how good I was at my job. Anytime I think that I'm "too fat" to do something, I think of that experience and what would have happened if I had decided to give up or walk away (not that you're thinking of doing that).

georgepds
04-13-2011, 10:24 PM
When I went to my first "real job" interview, I was terrified. I thought for sure they would take a look at me and decide I was "too fat" to work for them even though the job was not a physical one. ...

When I interviewed for my current job (~ 9 years ago) I had similar worries. No one who interviewed me was fatter than me. What I found was they were interested in what I knew, how I handle problems, and how I interacted with co-workers. The weight bothered me, not my future co-workers



--G

Nikki6kidsmom
04-13-2011, 10:52 PM
I think maybe it's time for alittle "pick me up" before big your meetings. How about a new cute piece of clothing to wear, or new accessories for something you have you can change up, maybe a fresh hair do or mani/pedi? I know if I feel cute I am more confident in myself and it's a nice boost.

Good luck !

Joszac
04-14-2011, 04:31 PM
I think maybe it's time for alittle "pick me up" before big your meetings. How about a new cute piece of clothing to wear, or new accessories for something you have you can change up, maybe a fresh hair do or mani/pedi? I know if I feel cute I am more confident in myself and it's a nice boost.

Good luck !

Funny you should mention this because I called my lady and said I have to get in for a haircut and she got me in for today:) Usually you have to book out at the minimum of 1-2 weeks so I was happy.

jitterfish
04-14-2011, 11:47 PM
I agree with all that everyone has said. Once they take over the company they will see how totally awesome you are.

Its hard though when the negative voice is there. Any social setting I feel like comments are being said targeting my weight. Any comment about fat and I feel so insecure. I feel judged when I eat - if I eat healthy I feel people think I am just putting it on and I must go home and scarf junk because a person my size can't eat healthy. If I have a treat I feel judged like "she shouldn't eat that look how fat she is". The key is controlling that voice, for some if positive affirmations. I've found just the process of losing weight has helped because my confidence is slowly coming back after being eroded down to nothing.

best of luck