Weight Loss Support - I'm SICK of it...




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Live4Summer13
04-08-2011, 05:03 PM
I know its really done of my business... but...

Things i'm SICK of..

1) Skinny people eating whatever the heck the want (and not gaining a pound). I smell Mcdonalds and i instantly gain 10 pounds (okay, kidding)

2) Skinny people thinking they are fat. And constantly complaining about it.

3) People saying they are going to start a diet and then still eating fast food, Chinese take out, etc. and then wondering why nothing is changing.

4) people judging me by what I eat. I swear (since i'm not skinny) people just can't get over the fact that I'm eating healthy foods all the time. and of course EVERYONE has to comment on it every single time.


sorry about the rant.. just a little angry.. and seeing if anyone else feels the same that I do.


What are you guys sick of? or maybe i'm the only one?? haha


sacha
04-08-2011, 05:12 PM
Hey, some of us "skinny" people were once overweight or even obese ourselves. You don't need to pick on "us" to be confident about your new lifestyle choices. :?: #1 and #4 sort of conflict...

FatJayne
04-08-2011, 05:13 PM
I'm sick of skinny people telling me how I should take better care of my health, even though they eat McDonald's everyday but are blessed with a fast metabolism so they are thin.


Live4Summer13
04-08-2011, 05:15 PM
Hey, some of us "skinny" people were once overweight or even obese ourselves. You don't need to pick on "us" to be confident about your new lifestyle choices. :?: #1 and #4 sort of conflict...

Sorry, I'm talking about the people who I know have been skinny their whole lives.

FatJayne
04-08-2011, 05:16 PM
And I didn't take is as her picking on anyone????
I think that it's just really frustrating sometimes and so she is ranting. :)

ilidawn
04-08-2011, 05:20 PM
Some people are just blessed with high metabolisms (downside though is one guy I met would almost pass out suddenly when he got hungry because he burned through it all..kind of scary).

I get a bit frustrated too with people who say they're on a diet then eat all sorts of junk food and take out then complain about not losing any weight. Or the ones that insist they need the junk food then blame everyone else for bad foods.

I do get really depressed by the skinny girls who say they're fat but when I'm in a patient mood I'm able to remind myself that we've all got our own body issues...it's just frustrating when you're sitting next to a girl that literally wears a size 0 and she says she "sooooo fat, such a whale" because it makes me feel like wow...if you're a whale then I'm apparently the size of a planet :(

Hmm, this may sound random but I've actually had a few guy friends get after me for NOT eating because my body gets stuck in starvation mode so I can't lose weight.

Eliana
04-08-2011, 05:21 PM
I've learned that #4 doesn't get any better. Those of us who have lost the weight hear, "You can afford to eat _____" or "Are you sure you want that cake? I've heard it's pretty easy to put the weight back on." It gets worse actually, because apparently it's not quite the same faux pas to pick on thin people as it is those who need to lose the weight.

FatJayne
04-08-2011, 05:22 PM
Sorry, I'm talking about the people who I know have been skinny their whole lives.

I totally know what you mean.
My cousin (I love her to death BTW and we are really close) thinks that she needs to tell me all the things that I can do to magically make myself thinner. The reality is that she has really good genes (her Dad's) and I have our side of the family's genes (the bad ones lol). It's really frustrating when you are sooo good all week on your diet so that you can have that one piece of cake at a party, just to be told by a skinny person who just had 2 pieces that if you didn't eat stuff like that you wouldn't be "heavy".

But I also admit that what gets me even more than that, is another fat person giving me weight loss/health advice. I think that the truth is that I just feel bad about myself a lot and I feel bad that I didn't make the right choices and therefore I don't want advice from anyone.

stoogeswoman
04-08-2011, 05:25 PM
I know how you feel. My husband weighs what my GOAL weight is and he is always griping about how fat he is! I love him lots but when he does that too often I tell him to cool it or I'm gettin' out the whip! ;-)

surfergirl2
04-08-2011, 05:29 PM
I get sick of people who seem to be kind of ignorant about fitness trying to give me advice. For example i'll say "i dieted this week and GAINED a pound" and they'll say "it's probably muscle." i'm like how would i gain muscle doing the EXACT SAME exercise i've always done???? You don't gain muscle by doing nothing, or doing cardio even! That always annoys me.

niafabo
04-08-2011, 05:29 PM
Things I'm sick off... (since you did what people do that your sick off I went with that)

1. People acting like I must have an eating disorder if I don't want to pig out on junk with them or if I don't want to snatch up all the free samples at the groccery store.

2. People who complain about their weight but binge drink and eat constantly.

3. People who are seriously out of shape telling me that I should just do such and such exercises to "tone things up" because my weight is fine when I obviously need to lose more fat and I exercise regularly.

4. People who are bigger than me and have had no success at ever losing weight telling me I'm dieting wrong or that I should be doing this or that because they heard it works from a friend.

5. People giving me looks of pity when they hear I'm trying to lose weight. what about trying to lose weight = pity. I'm been having success I'm not a yoyo dieter. I don't have extremely low self esteem. Keep your pitty looks to yourself!

6. People purposefully trying to sabotage my eating plan.

FatJayne
04-08-2011, 05:29 PM
Yeah, my husband and I started dieting at the same time almost 6 weeks ago. We eat the same thing except he gets about 800 cal a day more than me. He has lost 24 lbs and I have lost 8 (lost 16 but today says last week 8 lb gain). :(
It just seems so unfair sometimes. I hate always feeling like I am in a constant battle with my own body. :(

surfergirl2
04-08-2011, 05:34 PM
Just to play devil's advocate here...i hope no one is going to judge me if i say i'm on a diet and then i'm seen eating a slice of cake or an ice cream cone or a McDonald's burger or something. If that happens, it might be because i've fallen off my plan...but it could just as well be that i was craving ice cream and i worked hard to plan and save calories for it.

TooManyDimples
04-08-2011, 05:35 PM
I get where you're coming from.

It's very uncomfortable talking with my husband's friends wives when they are going on about how they have gotten, "so fat" when I'm sitting there obviously much heavier then either of them. If they need to lose 20lbs and think that makes them so fat, then I don't even want to imagine what they think about me.

MonicaM
04-08-2011, 05:56 PM
If I am in a social situation where it is obvious I am not eating everything in sight, I always say that I am trying to be careful and watching my weight. That way, if they see me with a piece of cake or whatever, there is nothing they can say.

AND, I must admit......I LOVE this website, BUT when I click onto a subject and see that the author has 20 or less points to lose, I go to the next forum. I have NO interest in helping someone who is obviously on the wrong site.

Txalupa
04-08-2011, 06:15 PM
Just to play devil's advocate here...i hope no one is going to judge me if i say i'm on a diet and then i'm seen eating a slice of cake or an ice cream cone or a McDonald's burger or something. If that happens, it might be because i've fallen off my plan...but it could just as well be that i was craving ice cream and i worked hard to plan and save calories for it.

I agree! I've been on plan since March of last year and I still eat McD's and Taco bell!!! No one better be judging my size four *** munchin on chicken nuggets or a taco, especially since I've also had a size fourteen *** in the recent past.

Stopfat
04-08-2011, 06:20 PM
I used to be one of the "skinny" people who ate whatever I wanted without gaining a pound--but, unfortunately, when we grow up our metabolism changes...which is part of the reason why I gained 30 lbs in the last 3 years (even while trying to diet.) Of course, there are lifestyle reasons too.

But, when I was in high school, I was in a group of three best friends. One was anorexic, one was overweight, and one was me.

My anorexic friend would always complain about how "fat" she was--but, I want to emphasize that people with body disorders aren't reflecting on others, but often they are just hard on their own body, because they have issues with their own self worth and image.

The problem with women saying they're fat, usually lays in their own body image, which is usually compared to ridiculously thin, yet busty, fashion and TV models. They aren't comparing themselves to normal women like you, I, or the women on this site, but to airbrushed toothpicks with breast implants. And compared to them, everyone is "fat."

My overweight friend watched her food and ate healthier than both of us--but she was still overweight. I watched her un-fruitful trek through Jenny Craig, and other diets. She would exercise, while me and my anorexic friend sat around watching TV (and I was eating bacon and mac+cheese). Plus, she came from a very thin mom, and so couldn't figure out why she was the only one in her family with weight problems. And people did make comments to her about what she ate.

I am happy, and a little jealous, to report, that she is now skinnier than both me and my anorexic friend, because she eats healthy and goes jogging every day, and we never had to worry about our weight, so we succeeded in gaining it after our metabolisms aged. Now, she is the skinny one who I glower at. Cheers!

Live4Summer13
04-08-2011, 06:32 PM
I'm glad most of you guys agree with me.. I gotta a little nervous there when one of the first posts "took it the wrong way". Glad i'm not the only one that gets fed up with some things!

neanderpam107
04-08-2011, 06:38 PM
My husband was one of those people who could eat 'anything and everything'. He's not 'fat biased' though. And now...it's a good thing...poor man hit 58 yrs. old and all of a sudden he's put on 18 lbs. and has NO idea how to get it back off! He has been thrown into the fat camp....and it's really upsetting to watch him.

I know we all think about putting these high metabolism folks into a 'fat tank' and then say 'see how it is?' but when it really happens to someone who you love...it's not any fun.

The good thing is that he now 'understands' what it takes (while many do NOT) to actually lose the weight and keep it off.

eclipse
04-08-2011, 06:41 PM
If I am in a social situation where it is obvious I am not eating everything in sight, I always say that I am trying to be careful and watching my weight. That way, if they see me with a piece of cake or whatever, there is nothing they can say.

AND, I must admit......I LOVE this website, BUT when I click onto a subject and see that the author has 20 or less points to lose, I go to the next forum. I have NO interest in helping someone who is obviously on the wrong site.

Why would someone with less than 20 lbs to lose be on the wrong site?:?:That just seems mean spirited.

Lainey
04-08-2011, 06:44 PM
I really dislike when people who clearly look great grab the one ounce of chub they have and say they are so fat, then look around for people to say "No, you're so skinny. You're so pretty. I wish I was your weight." That makes me hack!

Txalupa
04-08-2011, 06:52 PM
AND, I must admit......I LOVE this website, BUT when I click onto a subject and see that the author has 20 or less points to lose, I go to the next forum. I have NO interest in helping someone who is obviously on the wrong site.

This makes me sad. I love this site and hang around past goal to learn new things, help others, and gain support to maintain my weight and get even healthier.
:mad:

TooManyDimples
04-08-2011, 06:56 PM
Mmmmmm... People who have less then 20lbs to lose still need support. Just because I have 85 more lbs to go doesn't mean I belong here. Does that mean when I get down to only having 15lbs left to lose I should leave?

Not the best way to think about things. We all need support, that's why we're here.

sacha
04-08-2011, 07:01 PM
I'm glad most of you guys agree with me.. I gotta a little nervous there when one of the first posts "took it the wrong way". Glad i'm not the only one that gets fed up with some things!

It's not that I take it the wrong way, I do understand what you are saying, and when I was still overweight I probably would have said the same thing. But after being a maintainer for many years, I found that a lot of that frustration & resentment was more of a reflection on myself rather than the actual situation of the typical 'skinny' person.

Frustration that some people can eat 'whatever they want' and still lose weight, when truthfully, the vast majority of 'skinny' people's definition of 'whatever they want' is just 3x less than what I wanted to eat. Or that I thought everyone was judging me for what I ate when I was doing the same thing. I think it's just as much of a personal emotional journey as a physical one.

I don't think there's anything wrong with your post, and obviously many people do feel the same way and you certainly aren't alone, but that's just my own perspective as a maintainer.

And MonicaM, do you really mean those with less than 20lbs have no business being here? I can think of a few now-slim gals who have lost 100,200lbs+ and are probably some of the best sources of help & inspiration on here!

Whether you need to lose 5 or 100lbs, or whatever your personal opinion is on THIS particular topic, it doesn't matter, everyone is welcome. A site like this one, that is so supportive, is extremely rare.

Ookpik
04-08-2011, 07:25 PM
I hate it when people ask me what I do to lose weight. When I tell them I count calories, they look at me weird and make comments about that being "obsessive" or "bothersome". What I've found through my weight loss journey, that for me personally (you all might have different experiences) is that weight loss can be bothersome. It is often a pain in the @ss. I need to count calories...to me it isn't obsessive...it makes as much sense to me as budgeting my daily expenses. I have to exercise 5-6 times a week, whether I feel like it or not...and I often don't. I also don't like paying taxes, studying, and being a broke student, but that's life (for me). My point is, I guess, I can't stand it when people ask what I do then criticize my actions because (I'm guessing) they think (hope?) that weight loss is easy and effortless.

Brooklynn
04-08-2011, 07:31 PM
I am sick of skinny chicks because I am not one JEALOUS LOL just kidding kind of :P

I am sick of hearing the word diet come out of my kids mouth grrr but I still love them lol

Sick of my husband who can seem to loose weight just by looking at healthy food, but hes super supportive so I guess I should just shut up lol

I am sick of people telling me atkins is bad

I am sick of people telling me how to loose weight (how fast or slow I should)

I am sick of adivce from people who have never been fat!

I am sick of people thinking that I have an eating disorder just because I am not eating carbs (many any ways)

I am sick of being fat

I am sick of being fat opps already said that lol

I am sick of BIG PANTIES LOL

Ok I am done because I could go on forever yep Im bitter cant wait to not be a fat kid!

Oh yeah and I am sick of my friend who I love to death but is 350lbs with heart problems asking me (her)"WHY OH WHY cant I lose weight like you are?" (me)"what are you crunching on in my ear" (her)"Doritos" ME! > OMG GRRRRRRRRRRRRR DUH!

Zumbachica
04-08-2011, 08:01 PM
Skinny girl HATAHS unite...(j/k)..I was one of the skinny people..I've been one of the chunkier girls. I have news for y'all, if your head isn't in the right place it is just as hard to lose twenty pounds as it is 80!! Stop wasting your energy worrying about what the "skinny people" are doing and focus on yourselves....maybe you'll be happier.

Lori Bell
04-08-2011, 08:21 PM
I've got PMS so I'm just about sick of everything right now! I'd say that about 95% of the people I have come in contact with today have pissed me off in some way shape or form. :D

FatJayne
04-08-2011, 10:44 PM
I am sick of BIG PANTIES LOL



OMG I am so sick of big girl panties too! I wanna wear cute bras and undies again :(

krampus
04-08-2011, 11:33 PM
AND, I must admit......I LOVE this website, BUT when I click onto a subject and see that the author has 20 or less points to lose, I go to the next forum. I have NO interest in helping someone who is obviously on the wrong site.

O_o

I have major jealousy of people for whom food is just food. I used to be one of those people, but somewhere in the process of trying to improve my health and feel better about myself, I developed severely messed up thinking about food. At least exercise is still just exercise!

indiblue
04-09-2011, 12:06 AM
AND, I must admit......I LOVE this website, BUT when I click onto a subject and see that the author has 20 or less points to lose, I go to the next forum. I have NO interest in helping someone who is obviously on the wrong site.



1) Skinny people eating whatever the heck the want (and not gaining a pound).
2) Skinny people thinking they are fat. And constantly complaining about it.


It's really hard to hear that even here people are openly judging others for their weight.

Problems with food, whether it's overeating, body dysmorphia, stress eating, etc manifest themselves in different ways. For some it is outwardly noticeable: a weight gain. For most it's a daily battle that is tearing them up physically and emotionally and this is something not outwardly visible. Everyone has their own battles and it's terrible for someone to judge someone else, regardless of their weight, based on what they eat or the way they feel about their body. I thought the point of this website is to create an uplifting, healthy place to nurture each other, a place where people who hate their body or love their body, who are overweight or trying to maintain or somewhere in between can find support and motivation. We all have a lot to learn from each other and a lot to give each other.

For some people 20 lbs could mean the difference between healthy and overweight. Some people "catch" themselves slipping after they gain 20 lbs and want to DO something about it before 20 lbs becomes 100 lbs. So they come to 3FC. Isn't that part of the point of this website....?

More importantly, this website is to provide support for all people to lead healthier lives. I understand that people who have 20 lbs to lose have a different journey than people who have 200 lbs to lose. But everyone is here because they are interested in giving and receiving the support to be healthier people.

I like 3FC because I have learned a lot about nutrition, fitness, and health from chicks of all shapes and sizes, some bigger than me, some smaller than me. I've received so much support and I try to give support and motivation as well. Many people on here have inspiring journeys and I love interacting with such incredible individuals. It's troubling to hear there's some sense that some people "do not belong" or are not welcome on this site.

Please don't judge other people because their journey is different from yours :?:

mel23
04-09-2011, 12:26 AM
i do understand what you're saying, and the first thing that came to mind when reading your post was one of my favorite quotes by Bikram Choudhury:

"Nothing can steal happiness, peace away from you: if anyone does make you angry, you are the loser; if someone can allow you to lose peace, you are the loser"

usually i apply this to my Bikram yoga practice, but i suppose it works in this instance as well.

NOTE: you're totally not a loser :) but you get the idea

InControl2Day
04-09-2011, 12:29 AM
AND, I must admit.....I LOVE this website, BUT when I click onto a subject and see that the author has 20 or less points to lose, I go to the next forum. I have NO interest in helping someone who is obviously on the wrong site.

Some people may have had "great metabolisms" all their life and suddenly they find themselves gaining weight and want to put a stop to it before it spirals out of control.

I wish I had nipped the problem in the butt when I only had 20 lbs to lose. I'm on my last 10-20 lbs and it's harder to lose now than it was when I was heavier.

results not typical
04-09-2011, 12:43 AM
Ever wonder if people who have addiction to alcohol get all of that unasked for advice, same as we who have chronic food addiction? Our current culture seems to encourage everyone to comment about everyone else, not just about weird celebs and their personal antics. Anyone is free game these days. And when you mention "skinny", I picture Skelator in my mind, ribs sticking out, like people from a concentration camp. Also wonder about people who have to tell everyone their size, day in and day out. Please, just tattoo it on your forehead for us...........

Thank you! :D

Lauren201
04-09-2011, 12:55 AM
I know its really done of my business... but...
Things i'm SICK of..
1) Skinny people eating whatever the heck the want (and not gaining a pound). I smell Mcdonalds and i instantly gain 10 pounds (okay, kidding)


Your right it's really none of your business.

Most "skinny" people I know work out so they can eat what they want. They do the work to stay "skinny".


Things i'm SICK of..
2) Skinny people thinking they are fat. And constantly complaining about it.


These people have a psychological problem and you should feel bad for them not berate them. They obviously have issues and are sad and hurting.


Things i'm SICK of..
3) People saying they are going to start a diet and then still eating fast food, Chinese take out, etc. and then wondering why nothing is changing.

Some people are not ready to change. It's not your problem to worry about it or judge them. They don't want to be fat but they don't know how to fix themselves. They are sad and hurting inside and they are complaining because they are sad and hurting.


Things i'm SICK of..
4) people judging me by what I eat. I swear (since i'm not skinny) people just can't get over the fact that I'm eating healthy foods all the time. and of course EVERYONE has to comment on it every single time.

Ignore them. It will stop. Why do you care what they think?



sorry about the rant.. just a little angry.. and seeing if anyone else feels the same that I do.

What are you guys sick of? or maybe i'm the only one?? haha

I didn't find your post all that amusing, more you are attacking "skinny" people. I don't think you should worry what anyone else is doing or eating. You should focus on yourself. You don't want people to judge you for what you are eating so why are you judging other people?

I guess I could say I'm sick of seeing these kind of posts.

j0lamo01
04-09-2011, 01:21 AM
People should NEVER comment on what someone is eating! It is very rude and hurtful. They are not in your shoes so they don't know what you need to eat!
I still eat fast food because it is cheap but I make sure it is within my daily calorie budget

oklahomachick26
04-09-2011, 02:26 AM
i totally agree with indiblue......this site is about all shapes and sizes coming together to reach one common goal......getting healthier and back on track. It seems as if a few people on here have lost sight of that :(

JohnP
04-09-2011, 04:03 AM
I'm sure I have pissed off a large number of fat and obese people that are trying to lose weight. I don't eat out often so when I do I plan around it so I can enjoy it but all the fat person at the table next to me sees is a relatively slim guy eating a huge amount of food. Seriously ... I can put it away. :D

Unless you spend 24 hours a day with someone you have no idea how many calories they are consuming.

People who's metabolisms are so fast they can eat huge amounts of calories are extremely rare. More than likely that person isn't eating as much as you think or they are very active or both. Those metabolic calculators that aproximate your BMR were designed based on studying people and if you look at the data there are very few outliers.

Anyways ... I understand the frustration.

gagalu
04-09-2011, 04:19 AM
aren't you doing number four by listing the three prior to it? ;)

geoblewis
04-09-2011, 05:48 AM
I only have problems with the sabotagers, the ones who know my plan and my goals and insist on trying to break my will and thwart my efforts. Wish I could cut them all from my life. Got it down to one person left...my 81 year old mother. I don't go over to her house during meal time, ever. I don't accept food from her. I don't accept her invitations to eat at her house. Because she won't honor what I'm trying to do. I spend plenty of time with her otherwise. But somehow, not accepting her food means I'm rejecting her and avoiding her and that I don't love her. Her behavior is pushing me very close to that lately!

Nola Celeste
04-09-2011, 07:09 AM
Things I get sick of:

- People who believe that their way is the ONLY way to lose weight. 3FC has taught me the value of all kinds of paths to better health and I get a little irked with those who think that only CC/low-carb/WLS can work long-term. There are ALL kinds of success stories here.

- People judging my current weight and level of fitness too harshly. I'm proud that I walk two to three miles regularly even if I don't jog it; it's a huge step up from the half a block I used to walk before melting into a puddle of misery. I'm working on improving my fitness, so please don't look askance at me and make me feel silly.

- People who judge others--and I am including myself in that number. We all judge others sometimes, no matter how fleetingly or how much we chastise ourselves for being judgmental afterward. Every time I do it, I remind myself that I don't know where that person has been or what goes on in her head. If I don't know, I shouldn't judge.

- Angry, mean, nasty fitness buffs who not-so-secretly hate fat people. Yeah, some people respond well to that. I don't. I would love to see some 500-pound person rise up and just backhand one of the yappy, fat-hating pests on some of the fitness shows I see on television.

- Food police. That includes everyone from the well-meaning person who says, "ohh, should you have avocado? It has FAT in it!" to my vegan friend who makes a moue of disgust every time I so much as mention meat (which I try not to do, but sometimes there's no answer to "what'd you have for lunch?" except the truth) to lobbyists on Capitol Hill who want to slap big taxes on the foods they deem insufficiently virtuous. People are WAY too up in each other's business about what's on everyone's plates.

Edited to add: That last one doesn't include most 3FC posts about "should I eat this?" and "what do you think of that?" Solicited food advice is totally A-OK. :)

supergir111
04-09-2011, 07:33 AM
I am sick of the scale bouncing up :tantrum:

runningfromfat
04-09-2011, 09:43 AM
I've been reading this post but just now had a chance to write a well-thought out response.

I think one thing that people are forgetting here are that these are thoughts that are very common at the beginning of ones journey. I remember very distinctly and incident that happened shortly after having DD. I was in a playgroup for newmoms and and had a lot of body image issues because I had gained 65lbs during my pregnancy and was really struggling losing it afterwards.

I had asked the other moms how they were fitting in workouts amongst everything else and not a one of them were working out (note these were all women who looked slim and were certainly back to normal weights shortly after their pregnancy). They didn't mean anything by their answers, they were just being truthful, but that killed all my confidence at that time. Add to that that they then proceeded to complain about their stomachs afterwards and I was just devastated that there was no chance that I was going to lose all this weight. Shortly after that I gained back quite a bit of the weight that I had lost originally.

I've since gotten back on track and lost all that weight and more but I remember even posting about my frustrating at my friends being skinny effortless while I was working my butt off and getting nowhere. Sure, we don't know what goes on with them everyday and that's part of it too. But it's bigger than that. We ALL have our demons to deal with and it's easy to forget that when we see that demon every day when we look into the mirror. Since I've gotten to know these ladies better, I know that we all have different struggles. They have issues to deal with that I just don't have. That's part of life. My issues might be visible to the passerby on the street and theirs might not be but again that's life.

It's not about being fair or not. Some of my friends deal with things that I would never want to deal with and I'd actually take weight struggles any day over their issues (while they might pick the opposite).

I guess my main point is be nice to the OP. ;) This is obviously something that she's struggling with right now and that's OK. Seeing her skinny friends is making her weight loss journey harder and I can understand that. I have a feeling, though, once she's farther on her journey that this won't be an issue so much but for now these are completely valid thoughts and concerns that she needs to deal with.

Live4Summer13
04-09-2011, 12:14 PM
I guess my main point is be nice to the OP. ;) This is obviously something that she's struggling with right now and that's OK. Seeing her skinny friends is making her weight loss journey harder and I can understand that. I have a feeling, though, once she's farther on her journey that this won't be an issue so much but for now these are completely valid thoughts and concerns that she needs to deal with.[/QUOTE]



I think you hit that spot on. I guess i'm just frustrated because i'm trying SO hard.. but then I see my friends eat Mcdonalds, chinese, etc and don't gain a pound. I totally agree that when my journey gets a little further along (its only been about 5 weeks now) my mind might chance. Now, I think I just need to focus on myself.

P H A T
04-09-2011, 12:30 PM
I understand your rant & pretty much everything you listed, I am SICk of as well .. lol

:rolleyes: @ ppl getting offended by freaking EVERYTHING on this board.. gosh its like no one can rant & tell their honest opinion & feelings without someone getting all butt hurt & offended. We're all adults here, right? No one is perfect & no one has perfect feelings. No one was called out on personally besides the people who were venting, so why are people so upset.. eating & dieting is a very personal relative thing; everyone has their feelings & views on it & they are all different. Someone might be disgusted & sickened by an overweight person eating junk all the time; that doesn't mean they're ignorant or anything, its just their view. Some people may feel like 20 lbs is nothing , some ppl might.. its all about YOUR perspective. Someone might think that I have no business on this board & that I need to have WLS instead of dieting.. that's their opinion ... Im not about to get all upset about it.. its just a discussion.

people have the right to protest someone else's views as long as they're respectful i guess, there's nothing wrong with that at all .. but not everyone feels supportive & positive all the time while dieting. sometime you need to rant & let out your honest opinion regardless of how people FEEL about it.. & I wouldn't consider any of these posts abusive or anything..

Magrat
04-09-2011, 01:13 PM
Some people may have had "great metabolisms" all their life and suddenly they find themselves gaining weight and want to put a stop to it before it spirals out of control.

I wish I had nipped the problem in the butt when I only had 20 lbs to lose. I'm on my last 10-20 lbs and it's harder to lose now than it was when I was heavier.


I'm on my last three pounds and I'm struggling harder than ever. I have to fight tooth and nail for each tenth of a pound.

Magrat
04-09-2011, 01:14 PM
Your right it's really none of your business.

Most "skinny" people I know work out so they can eat what they want. They do the work to stay "skinny".



These people have a psychological problem and you should feel bad for them not berate them. They obviously have issues and are sad and hurting.



Some people are not ready to change. It's not your problem to worry about it or judge them. They don't want to be fat but they don't know how to fix themselves. They are sad and hurting inside and they are complaining because they are sad and hurting.



Ignore them. It will stop. Why do you care what they think?



I didn't find your post all that amusing, more you are attacking "skinny" people. I don't think you should worry what anyone else is doing or eating. You should focus on yourself. You don't want people to judge you for what you are eating so why are you judging other people?

I guess I could say I'm sick of seeing these kind of posts.


I agree.

sacha
04-09-2011, 01:15 PM
I'm personally not offended by what OP has to say, I just like to point out that perhaps there are other ways at looking at the issue. I think when one posts that they are mad that 'skinny people' can eat whatever they want, people who say they go on a diet then eat fast food, and then goes on, in the same post, to get upset that people judge her for what she eats, then that's something that sort of stands out to me. That's knocking at least two groups of people on here - people who are no longer overweight but still eat 'whatever they want' (perhaps not as much as they want though!) and those who often struggle on the diet journey. I would say MOST people here on 3FC say they want to lose weight but then do go and eat fast food etc./fall of the wagon from time to time.

My only point was... it's okay to feel that things aren't fair, and it's okay to be upset, but I think once you are putting down others or making yourself feel better at the expense of others, it is time to take a look inward and see if that's the right way to see things.

And I do agree with runningfromfat, that this is a very common thought amongst people who are fairly new into their weight loss journey. I'm sure most of us felt the same way. There comes a time though, where we need to realize that perhaps that sort of behaviour may not really benefit us? Because at the end of the day, our weight and what we do is OUR responsibility to own, no matter who is doing what in this world.

Eliana
04-09-2011, 01:33 PM
I think perhaps it's in the wording. I have seen many posts like this that come out just fine and get some pretty good comments posted to them. I think it's the "I'm SICK of" part that is maybe throwing folks. Just a thought. ;)

I fit the Libra (scales of justice) quite well...I'm seeing both sides.

pinkflower
04-09-2011, 01:39 PM
And I do agree with runningfromfat, that this is a very common thought amongst people who are fairly new into their weight loss journey. I'm sure most of us felt the same way. There comes a time though, where we need to realize that perhaps that sort of behaviour may not really benefit us? Because at the end of the day, our weight and what we do is OUR responsibility to own, no matter who is doing what in this world.

There is no question that I did as well. I thought skinny people just ate what they wanted, and my weight was just bad luck. It wasn't until I really took a look and logged what I ate before I realized that I too was eating an excess of calories. I could not start to lose weight before I stopped focusing on my "bad luck" and wondering how I could eat so healthy and still be fat

Now I realize by actually watching my skinny friends that if they do eat out or splurge, they do things to prepare for it, such as eat less the day they having something planned, and it truly is a rare treat, not an every day thing like I used to do. This was a long process to get to, because I did not view my eating habits as being out of the ordinary and didn't see that many of the things I ate almost daily were supposed to be once in a while treats. It was hard to see this, but necessary to begin my journey

I've have worked my butt off to lose this weight. Some people might see me eating Chick Fil A with the family and be jealous that I can eat that and still be thin. The fact is, there are things I do to make up for those extra calories. Typically I shave off a few hundred calories for a few days until I've made up for it, or even fast before I go. I also only treat myself once a week or 2, instead of 2-3, even 4 times a week like before. Little things like drinking unsweet tea instead of Dr Pepper, and eating only 5 fries instead of a large. It's a struggle, and a constant telling my inner toddler "no, later, but not today...." but it's worth it.

It took me years to get here. Years of just wishing the baby weight would come off and things would be fair and I could eat what I wanted like my friends before I realized the truth. It sounds like a pain, but it's really not that bad. I had to open myself up and really change the way I think before it could happen

indiblue
04-09-2011, 02:15 PM
:rolleyes: @ ppl getting offended by freaking EVERYTHING on this board.. gosh its like no one can rant & tell their honest opinion & feelings without someone getting all butt hurt & offended.

eating & dieting is a very personal relative thing; everyone has their feelings & views on it & they are all different. Someone might be disgusted & sickened by an overweight person eating junk all the time; that doesn't mean they're ignorant or anything, its just their view. Some people may feel like 20 lbs is nothing , some ppl might.. its all about YOUR perspective. Someone might think that I have no business on this board & that I need to have WLS instead of dieting.. that's their opinion ... Im not about to get all upset about it.. its just a discussion.[/color]

Right. A very personal thing. Everyone has their own battles and some people here are battling very, very hard. For some it's literally a matter of life and death, for others self-worth and depression. Which is why I choose my words VERY carefully before I post anything. Something that may not offend me may be very hurtful to someone else. Weight and body image is such a sensitive, personal issue that this is not something to take lightly and tell other people to "toughen up" about.

It's fine if you aren't offended that some people think you need to have surgery or diet. But a lot of people would not be okay with that. What I love about this site is that it nurtures respectful and considerate attitudes towards people of all shapes and sizes. I have read so many posts from people struggling to lose hundreds of pounds and have learned so much about the pain and joys the weight loss journey brings. It has evoked a sensitivity in me towards people and body image I didn't have before. It has broken down a lot of stereotypes I embarrassingly had about people who are very overweight. It's done so because it is not a place where people spout out what they think without regard, but because they take the time to truly think and respond with respect and empathy. I strive to be as supportive and as empathetic as so many people I have interacted with.

I'm sorry if this sounds absurd, it's that I've seen a level of maturity and solidarity on 3FC that isn't common on weight loss or nutrition sites, one where people take each others' journeys very seriously. That's the kind of atmosphere that changes minds and changes perceptions. That's why I come here... to learn and become humanized to others' struggles, regardless of how different they may be from my own.

P H A T
04-09-2011, 02:45 PM
Right. A very personal thing. Everyone has their own battles and some people here are battling very, very hard. For some it's literally a matter of life and death, for others self-worth and depression. Which is why I choose my words VERY carefully before I post anything. Something that may not offend me may be very hurtful to someone else. Weight and body image is such a sensitive, personal issue that this is not something to take lightly and tell other people to "toughen up" about.

It's fine if you aren't offended that some people think you need to have surgery or diet. But a lot of people would not be okay with that. What I love about this site is that it nurtures respectful and considerate attitudes towards people of all shapes and sizes. I have read so many posts from people struggling to lose hundreds of pounds and have learned so much about the pain and joys the weight loss journey brings. It has evoked a sensitivity in me towards people and body image I didn't have before. It has broken down a lot of stereotypes I embarrassingly had about people who are very overweight. It's done so because it is not a place where people spout out what they think without regard, but because they take the time to truly think and respond with respect and empathy. I strive to be as supportive and as empathetic as so many people I have interacted with.

I'm sorry if this sounds absurd, it's that I've seen a level of maturity and solidarity on 3FC that isn't common on weight loss or nutrition sites, one where people take each others' journeys very seriously. That's the kind of atmosphere that changes minds and changes perceptions. That's why I come here... to learn and become humanized to others' struggles, regardless of how different they may be from my own.



I respect your opinion & input. You're right, this site is nurturing & very encouraging. The positivity here is wonderful & I know that it is one of the reasons why people come here for support. Butttt since we're all human, we all can't be perfect 100% of the time. Our bodies aren't always 100% perfect, our attitudes aren't always 100% positive, & our dieting isn't always 100% as planned. There are horrible days, health issues, gains, sicknesses, plateaus, everything that we go through on our journey. Negativity, just like weight gain, is gonna be PART of it. So, Personally, I don't think its right. Someone is clearly venting out of frustration & all people can think about is how it's offending them instead of shedding the nurturing positive light that they LOVE about the site. It's just as big of a contradiction as people point out about the original post.

Someone venting should be met with just as much nurturing & encouraging & supportive as this site is most of the time. It seems like most people are jumping down people's throats & picking apart their feelings instead of being supportive. Anybody can take offense at anything, at any time... it shouldn't stop anyone from speaking their mind as long as their not being abusive.

Cali Doll
04-09-2011, 03:14 PM
There is no question that I did as well. I thought skinny people just ate what they wanted, and my weight was just bad luck. It wasn't until I really took a look and logged what I ate before I realized that I too was eating an excess of calories. I could not start to lose weight before I stopped focusing on my "bad luck" and wondering how I could eat so healthy and still be fat

Now I realize by actually watching my skinny friends that if they do eat out or splurge, they do things to prepare for it, such as eat less the day they having something planned, and it truly is a rare treat, not an every day thing like I used to do. This was a long process to get to, because I did not view my eating habits as being out of the ordinary and didn't see that many of the things I ate almost daily were supposed to be once in a while treats. It was hard to see this, but necessary to begin my journey

I've have worked my butt off to lose this weight. Some people might see me eating Chick Fil A with the family and be jealous that I can eat that and still be thin. The fact is, there are things I do to make up for those extra calories. Typically I shave off a few hundred calories for a few days until I've made up for it, or even fast before I go. I also only treat myself once a week or 2, instead of 2-3, even 4 times a week like before. Little things like drinking unsweet tea instead of Dr Pepper, and eating only 5 fries instead of a large. It's a struggle, and a constant telling my inner toddler "no, later, but not today...." but it's worth it.

It took me years to get here. Years of just wishing the baby weight would come off and things would be fair and I could eat what I wanted like my friends before I realized the truth. It sounds like a pain, but it's really not that bad. I had to open myself up and really change the way I think before it could happen

I had to quote you here because I agree with every single word you said!

You just never know exactly how people are dealing with things. We're only seeing a snapshot in time of a person's life or day or whatever. I had to catch myself the other day when I watched my *VERY* thin friend kill a Cinnabon. I thought, "Now, why is it she can eat that and stay skinny? If *I* ate that, I'd be HUGE!"

...But, the truth is, if I ate that, I'd also go to Outback Steakhouse for dinner and I'd probably go back for another Cinnabon the next day.

...My skinny friends don't do that! But, we choose not to see the big picture. Overindulging is OK on occasion; living a lifestyle of overeating and binging is not.

supergir111
04-09-2011, 03:29 PM
Cali doll and pinkflower: you guys are so right
Come to think of it my bf who seems to be one of those eat anything and everything and never gains people really doesn't eat that much.
He will frequently skip breakfast because he isn't hungry and he always leaves food on his plate because he will actually stop when full, also he plays alot of sport. But when I first met him all I saw was this guy who could eat a tub of ben and jerrys in a sitting and was 155 pounds at 6'4.

Sonjae
04-09-2011, 04:27 PM
I grew up skinny I didn't gain the weight until I had a child so I never new how to diet or what to do my whole family is skinny as well so they don't have a clue either. I use to eat what I want when I wanted now I have to count the calories for everything I put in my mouth and still can't lose the weight and that is very frustrating!
I may look "skinny" to someone else because the way I am shaped (I am VERY!! top heavy) and that takes away from the overall look of my size. I also wear the proper clothing to help hide it. So when my ex sister in law looks at me like I am a stupid skinny b***h for saying I am on a diet it makes me SUPER ticked off because I am eating healthy and worried about my weight! She was told she is diebetic the only change she made was to drink diet soda and hope that helps.
I am 180lbs and to me I am over weight but to (no offense to anyone who would take it that way) my sister who is 300 lbs (and many others I know who are larger then I) I am just stupid. So just because someone is smaller doesn't mean they do not need to lose weight and should be treated poorly because they want to.
Now someone who is truely small (like my size 2 115lbs sister) she makes me want to punch her in her head when she says she needs to lose weight and we should work out and diet together....I don't know about you but I don't want to work out next to a size 2 talk about a downer lol. I swear if she works out and diets to much more she is going to blow away in the next Oklahoma gust :)

luciddepths
04-09-2011, 11:00 PM
I dont like when people come up to me asking me for advice on how i lost weight then try and argue with what i'm telling them...

i dont like when people complain about how they do not lose weight and eat healthy (they barely eat anything, then eat a HUGE bag of chips and blame it on everything ELSE but them eating a HUGE bag of chips and not eating enough healthy foods)

I also do not like people who tell me how to exercise. Leave me alone :P

Monica - those 20 pounds sometimes are the HARDEST to lose.

ShanIAm
04-10-2011, 03:39 PM
I haven't read all the posts but quite a few. It's interesting because I used to be one of those that were sick of thin people (which included everyone who weighed less than me) complaining about being fat. But I found that for myself, the more I lost, the more I complained. I'm totally ridiculous, I know. So for myself, I have to say, I am SICK of focusing more on how much more I have to lose as opposed to embracing how much I have lost.

A part of me is envious that "naturally thin" people can eat whatever they want and not gain any weight. But then I start thinking that although their outside isn't changing, what does their insides look like? Does a fast/high metabolism make cholestrol levels superior? Is the heart healthier? No, I don't think so.

So when I see a thin person eating double cheeseburgers, it makes me feel great to know that me eating my salad is making me healthier both inside and out!

JohnP
04-10-2011, 10:28 PM
So when I see a thin person eating double cheeseburgers, it makes me feel great to know that me eating my salad is making me healthier both inside and out!

I eat In and Out double cheeseburgers on a fairly regular basis. There is nothing unhealthy about a double cheeseburger. One runs about 600 calories.

krampus
04-10-2011, 11:52 PM
Ugh, In N Out sounds so good right now...of course I'd make mine a double-double with animal style fries ;)

I'm SICK of feeling like I'm stuck in a yo-yo pattern and being unhappy with my weight at age 24. I know exactly what I need to do, but I am too lazy to do it. That's it. I've come charging like a rhinoceros out of a depressed funk and now it's just me and my willingness to commit, head to head.

I'm moving back to America in three and a half months and I don't want to start my new life there feeling like a fat mess. So I won't! Easy as that, now I just have to go through the motions.

/directionless rant

milliej
04-13-2011, 01:45 PM
I think think it was just a rant that touched some people the wrong way, and I can understand both sides.

That being said I would like to say I am sick of sabotagers, skinny or not skinny. I work with one who is not skinny, and she has said so many hurtful things. She has said why am I wasting my time, why can't I be happy the way I am, she has even called me obsessed when she found out I was counting calories. She has said that I am just bored and need to get a hobby. She brings me (just me) cupcakes, doughnuts, chineese takeout, and she never did that before. She always wants to know how much weight I lost. (I did not use to weight myself) But I still tell her I have no idea. Then after all that when I got new clothes casue the others were way to big, she got mad at be for donating them and not giving them to her.

Well that was my rant.