100 lb. Club - How do other non-patient people cope?




OhMyDogs
04-04-2011, 11:31 AM
Today is my weigh in day, and when I got on the scale I was down 3.5lbs this past week, which I am obviously really happy about and last week I was down 4lbs, which I am obviously really happy about.

I started this journey back in January. Initially my calorie intake was too low (1200), and I stalled out very quickly, which caused me to fall off the wagon. Then in February, we battled crazy bacterial infections in my house (between my 2 girls there was tonsillitis 4x, scarlet fever and impetigo), so I went off plan then too, and really, just picked up the gauntlet again about 3 weeks ago. Somehow, all those times I was off plan, I managed to not gain any weight back (I had lost a total of 12 lbs). But this morning, after seeing all the work that's gone into the last 20lbs loss, the enormity of my weight loss goal just really kicked me today.

Don't get me wrong, I am pleased with my 20lb loss, I am just realizing that I have only lost 1/7 of my ultimate intended weight loss...OH MAN! I have a loooooong way to go.

Patience is not one of my strong points, and anyone who knows me would agree with that statement. While part of me thinks "If I just cut calories more, and work out harder, it will happen faster" most of my brain knows that's not logical, and frankly, not really something I am interested in doing. I am not a work out until you throw up kind of person.

I have mini-goals spaced every 30-35lbs or so, am working towards my first one, at 265lbs, but other than that, how to you put your head into a good space and become resigned with the fact that this is going to take a while, and realize that is OK!


Laneyy
04-04-2011, 11:48 AM
You didn't put on the weight overnight, so it's certainly not going to come off that way, either. Best thing to do is what you are doing, set smaller goals for yourself. Before you know it, you'll be at your goal :)

I'm really impatient, too :(

runningfromfat
04-04-2011, 12:15 PM
I manage by being a daily weigher, checking out 3FC a few times per day, and watching the biggest loser every week. I really need to be thinking about weight-loss often in order to stay on plan. I'm also much better with daily weighing because I have no patience weighing in only once per week!


Eliana
04-04-2011, 12:34 PM
You need to read my goal story in my signature. ;) It explains in better detail what I'm about to say.

Patience is not my thing. I did the "If I just cut calories more, and work out harder, it will happen faster" thing and guess what. It didn't work! I had a tendency to make weight loss too hard by doing exactly that and always there came a day where I realized I was putting a whole lot in for not a whole lot coming off. See, "less" and "more" doesn't actually make the weight come off faster. You'd think it would...but it doesn't.

What I did was make a one year commitment to myself. For one year I decided to stay on plan no matter what. That, in a nutshell, is all it took. I no longer needed patience because it didn't matter. For one year I was eating on plan foods and I was getting in at least my minimum routine at the gym.

GirlyGirlSebas
04-04-2011, 12:48 PM
I remind myself....what is the alternative? I can pout about my slow weight loss and about how unfair it is and do nothing. Or, I can accept my body for what it is and deal with it. If I keep plugging along, eventually I'll arrive at the same place as those who lose quickly. No, I don't like it. But, I don't like being fat, either.

saef
04-04-2011, 12:58 PM
By not setting goals.

Or by having a general goal, easy to meet.

I said to myself, "I'm so heavy, I'm edging out of the 250s. At this point, anything that I lose is going to help my health. So my goal is going to simply be 'less.' When I stand on the scale every Friday, my weight has to be lower than the previous week. I don't care how much lower, but it has to be lower & keep going lower until ... oh, I don't know when. But at this point, I just need to reverse this trend of getting bigger gradually & turn it into getting smaller."

Putting much less pressure on myself worked. And I started making all kinds of gradual modifications to make that number go lower. Success led to success & it gradually picked up momentum.

This is NOT generally how I do things -- I am very deadline-driven, very much an overachiever at work -- and my previous failure to lose weight was due to my being unable to reach my very high standards for myself.

I learned a lot from this, not just for weight loss, but as a general strategy for my life & for long-term projects.

mandalinn82
04-04-2011, 12:58 PM
I'm all about goals that don't involve the scale.

Maybe that's an exercise goal (30 pushups in a row? A mile in a faster pace than what you can do today? A certain number of days of exercise in a row or a number of minutes of exercise in a week/month? A new endeavor, like yoga or swimming?).

Sometimes it's a "days on plan" goal - X days in a row, OP during weekends, etc.

I make these goals pretty attainable, meaning I can work toward them in a shorter period of time. Then, no matter what my scale is doing, I can work toward those goals. This was helpful when losing, but is even more helpful at maintenance, because even if my goal is the rather boring "keep the scale around the same", I'm still working toward goals on a daily and weekly basis which keep it exciting.

beerab
04-04-2011, 12:59 PM
I know how you feel- I am impatient as well and it's caused me some downfalls. I try to not weigh in more than once a week so that I don't get discouraged- I go by how my clothes feel more. Right now my size 14s right out of the dryer fit fine soooo that lets me know I'm still doing good :)

JOLINA
04-04-2011, 01:16 PM
I am very impatient and want things done ASAP. But my body cannot lose weight that fast. And I don't want to starve myself to lose it quickly either.

So I just have to put my weight loss into a long term goal situation.
I take it one day at a time, and this has been working for me.

But it is still so very slooow and frustrating.

:snail:...:snail:...:snail:

Sandi
04-04-2011, 01:28 PM
I think another thing to consider is that when you lose all the weight, your plan won't change all that much. So it really doesn't matter how long it takes you because you plan will look pretty much the same after you lose the weight too. I only lost 1 lb this week. Considering my current weight that seems pretty ridiculous to me. However, when I look back at the past week, I stayed on plan every day and was as active as I could be, so I will take it, smile and move on.

ilbnej
04-04-2011, 01:57 PM
Like most of the other posters I look at this as a long term change
so the short term results aren't the goal, theyre just part of a process that needs to last for the rest of my life. Also, the alternative of either dying from a weight related illness (or even becoming incapacitated from one) or having to have weightloss surgery to become healthy again scare the pants off me. I indulge my OCD nature by planning planning tracking and measuring. The amazing thing I've found is that if I just do what the plan says, the weight comes off exactly as the plan predicts. Maybe not week for week, but over each 6-week interval that I've specified. I don't know why this is so amazing to me, but it is, and it makes me think the really long term goal of healthy weight is doable, even if I'm still 130 pounds away today. Good luck!

Pacifica Bee
04-04-2011, 02:12 PM
I am the most impatient person I know, but I have been successful despite this. From the get-go I was not number focused, but rather time and event focused (in truth, right now I am counting down to being 'overweight' in 4 pounds and it is going SO SLOW - I totally regret getting myself into a headspace where the number is important). This is not to say that I didn't have number based mini goals - they were just SO secondary to the process as to be non-events.

Like Eliana above, I told myself "I will do this for one year and then be done with it". I was able to stick to my 1-year plan easily and lost a lot of weight in that first year. I also had several events and trips during that year, so my mini goals centered around "how awesome am I going to look when I go to X event"... never a number, alway open ended.

My 1 year mark has come and past, and I decided to go another year. I have 3 number based goals now, and I feel like everything is going slower because of it as I mentioned above. On the other hand, I also am working on some exercise goals which are keeping me going pretty strong when the scale is being discouraging.

Goddess Jessica
04-04-2011, 02:31 PM
On bad days? I stomp my feet and punch and whine and pout.
On good days? I say, "I am doing the best I can and that's all I can ask of myself."

I think it's wise to remember that you didn't gain it overnight so you won't lose it overnight BUT in general, that doesn't help me because I feel like I didn't TRY to gain the weight so it wasn't a conscious thing. :)

Now I feel like I try so hard that the weight loss fairy should come down and haul away 25 pounds each week. But alas, she doesn't exist or she does but her name is Lipo.

Trazey34
04-04-2011, 02:38 PM
I'm impatient too, and sometimes it just plain sucks. No bones about it. You work your butt off, say no to a thousand treats, really TRY, and boom, still have 100 pounds to lose. Some days I'd say WHAT'S THE POINT??

Then other days I'd see a ticker that said "a year from now, you'll be glad you started today" and stuff like that, made me feel better. Just think, that's TWENTY pounds you never have to deal with again, gone!

some days it's one foot in front of the other and tell the world to BITE ME lol and other days it's easier!

JustSharing83
04-04-2011, 02:48 PM
I constantly have to remind myself that time is going to pass either way, so I may as well lose weight slowly along the way. It has taken me 4 years of being on and off plan to lose the weight I have so far, so I've definitely had to gain some patience as I've gone along.

goal4agirl
04-04-2011, 03:01 PM
I know it is really hard wanting something so bad and having to wait to see it come to pass. I try my best not to look at the whole picture all at once...it's too overwhelming! I try to take it 5 Lbs. at a time. Have you picked up those 10 Lb. weights and felt them? 5-10 Lbs. is a lot of weight.
I have been in a stall for a couple of months now- but yesterday I measured myself and I had lost 2 inches more in my waist! So even though the scale has not moved, my body is still getting more lean.

I have Crohns disease and years ago before they figured out what was wrong with me I was really sick. I was too sick to eat. I lived for 2+ months on coke and mountain dews. I would take bites of bread once a day. I lost 60 Lbs. very fast (the hard way!) I developed shingles in my face and eye because my body was so malnourished and I had dropped so much weight so fast it threw my whole system out of whack. I was put on Prednisone and ate and gained bunches- and regained my health again.
I will never forget how really serious it is to get a good balanced meal and how quickly your body can get in a mess if you lose weight way to quick.
Sorry such an icky story but it is true and I hope it helps someone out there:D

OhMyDogs
04-04-2011, 03:47 PM
Thanks so much everyone.

I didn't mean to imply (in the event that I did) that I am close to giving up, or anything like that. I am not. I am committed, and am pleased with the 20lbs I have lost. I am just trying to learn how to be patient, and take it easy, and not fret so much about all of this.

I am not so eager to get to my goal weight (although if a fairy came along and offered, I'd take her up on it), I am just eager to get down to a weight where I can take on more challenges. Because of the arthritis in my knee I can't do lunges, squats or running right now, I still struggle to get down on the floor, etc...I'm eager to be past this point, where things are a little easier on my knee, and I can start looking towards trying new things (like C25K). If someone could just *poof* me down to about 220, I'd be pretty happy! Please? lol

My goal weight isn't fixed in stone either. It could go up or down depending on how I feel when i get close. I'm build pretty burly, and ideally I would like to be about a size 8, so I'll play it by ear. Last time I wore a size 8 I was 15.

OhMyDogs
04-04-2011, 03:54 PM
I know it is really hard wanting something so bad and having to wait to see it come to pass. I try my best not to look at the whole picture all at once...it's too overwhelming! I try to take it 5 Lbs. at a time. Have you picked up those 10 Lb. weights and felt them? 5-10 Lbs. is a lot of weight.
I have been in a stall for a couple of months now- but yesterday I measured myself and I had lost 2 inches more in my waist! So even though the scale has not moved, my body is still getting more lean.

I have Crohns disease and years ago before they figured out what was wrong with me I was really sick. I was too sick to eat. I lived for 2+ months on coke and mountain dews. I would take bites of bread once a day. I lost 60 Lbs. very fast (the hard way!) I developed shingles in my face and eye because my body was so malnourished and I had dropped so much weight so fast it threw my whole system out of whack. I was put on Prednisone and ate and gained bunches- and regained my health again.
I will never forget how really serious it is to get a good balanced meal and how quickly your body can get in a mess if you lose weight way to quick.
Sorry such an icky story but it is true and I hope it helps someone out there:D



I sort of have a story of my own like this. Last year I got really ill. To this day I have no idea why, but I had SEVERE nausea for about 2 months. I ate less in a day than my (then) 3 year old ate in a sitting. I was SO ill. After 2 months, and losing 50lbs, I was so weak, and so tired all the time, it was a struggle to stay awake with my kids during the day. Eventually I was given the same anti-nauseant they give to people who are receiving chemo, and slowly I was able to eat again. I'll never forget how awful I felt by the end of that 2 months. I certainly wouldn't starve myself to get thin...when I say I thought about dropping my calories I mean more like from 1600-1800, to 1300...but when I started out, I ate 1200 and stalled very quickly, so I know that won't work, I'm going to have to learn to be patient.

KatMarie
04-04-2011, 04:20 PM
I think another thing to consider is that when you lose all the weight, your plan won't change all that much. So it really doesn't matter how long it takes you because you plan will look pretty much the same after you lose the weight too. I only lost 1 lb this week. Considering my current weight that seems pretty ridiculous to me. However, when I look back at the past week, I stayed on plan every day and was as active as I could be, so I will take it, smile and move on.

Ditto. I realized when I started, this wasn't going to be a diet, this was going to be a lifestyle change. If it was just a diet, I'd gain it back after I went off of it. This is the way I'll eat after I reach goal. I'll add more calories, but the kind of food I eat will be the same. Its kept me sane not thinking of this as a diet but just the way my life is now and this is the kind of food I eat, period. I don't miss the junk food anymore...it feels so good to be out of it's grip and I pray I never go back to eating that kind of food.

shannonmb
04-04-2011, 08:39 PM
Yeah, unfortunately starting at 350 lbs, I understand about being on plan for months and months, here I've lost 97 lbs and I'm still nowhere near out of the obese category. Sometimes it is depressing, but here's what I do to break it up a bit...

Always have a pair of pants in your closet that you would like to be able to wear, but you can barely get over your thighs. When those suckers zip up finally, I always feel like I REALLY did something! Woo!

My next big one is getting below 250. I've been OVER 250 most of my adult life, so when I'm in the 240s, I REALLY did something! Maybe you have a weight on the way down that you haven't been below in awhile?

I was getting pretty debilitated at my starting weight, so I have already experienced a lot of significant changes in what I'm able to do. Every time I easily bend to tie my shoe, I remind myself that I have REALLY done something! Maybe you can focus on something that's uncomfortable to do right now, take note, and when you can finally do it easily -- yep, you REALLY DID SOMETHING! :D

Ky30
04-05-2011, 11:16 AM
I use to think the same way as you when I started my journey at the end of September 2010 I thought it was gonna take forever and go soooo slow trust me it really doesnt it has been 6 months for me and 76 pounds gone and honestly it doesnt even feel like it now that I look back at it. Setting mini goals does help so keep up with that and I know challenges on this board help the time pass also and keep me going.

OhMyDogs
04-05-2011, 11:21 AM
Well, last night's episode of Heavy was PERFECT, it was exactly what I needed to get my head back into the right space. I was no where near giving up, but I needed a mental boost and Heavy did that for me last night.

Seeing how wonderfully successful everyone's been, and how they have continued to progress sort of gave me a "who do I think I am to complain?" perspective. There are many people who have a lot more work to do than I do, and they aren't complaining, so I need to shut my pie hole, and 'suck it up princess' :P LOL

Not to mention, all the amazing people who have done so much work already! Keep it up everyone!!

carter
04-05-2011, 12:41 PM
Hey, I am a maddeningly impatient person. This whole process has been an extended test for me - constantly challenging my patience, stretching my patience, beyond where I ever thought it was possible.

I have lost more than 80 pounds but it's taken, by comparison to others, quite some time - about 20 months all told. I have another 30 or so pounds to lose - actually I still have no idea when I'll decide I'm done - and I'm starting to talk to myself about expecting it to take another year or so.

There are days when I want to punch people in the head who have lost at a clip of 10 pounds a month and then start complaining when that pace slips to 8 pounds a month. I stay away from 3FC on those days. :lol:

Anyway how have I coped? I'm not sure. Not always well (see above). I do have temper tantrums sometimes and whine about how harrrrrrrd it is and how long it's taking. On the other hand, sometimes it occurs to me how quickly the last year has passed - the older I get the faster time goes - and that helps ground me to think, yes it may take another year, but that year will go by in the blink of an eye. A related thought that helps me a lot is that the time will pass anyhow, and I may as well spend that time losing weight, even if it's just 4 pounds a month or less.

Finally, you may not have this at 20 pounds lost, but when I got to around 50-60 pounds lost I started to notice that I felt really different. My shape started changing more quickly. I had a lot more stamina and wanted to move around more. My knees hurt a lot less. I became the sort of person who bounds up the stairs two at a time. I don't know where this came from and it completely surprised me!

So even though I was only around halfway through my process, having that kind of tangible result really helped me dig in for another year or two of work. When you start to feel that - it will take a while longer, if you're anything like me - it might help you find some reserves of patience you didn't know you had. It did for me.

toastedsmoke
04-06-2011, 09:47 AM
I usually try to have smaller mini-goal intervals. Like 7-lb ones or 10-lb ones. That way it always seems like I'm hitting at least one big goal every month to 6 weeks. I try not to look too much at the big picture... just try to keep my 5-10 lb goals as the focus.

It sucks the amount of time it takes to get the weight off but One just keeps plugging away and trying to stay on-plan not only to lose the weight, but because it's good for you. Time IS going to pass either way so you might as well be heading towards goal however slowly than heading in the opposite direction!

ilbnej
04-06-2011, 08:18 PM
Time IS going to pass either way so you might as well be heading towards goal however slowly than heading in the opposite direction!

Exactly!