Weight Loss Support - Bit of a rant,sorry......!




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starbrite
04-04-2011, 07:44 AM
Ok- this is silly, but I really need to get this off my chest. I have lost 131lbs in little under a year. I'm proud of my achievements and expect my family to also be proud of me. My brother is also overweight, and has a very overweight fiance who has tried every diet in the book except good old healthy,clean eating. Last night he told me no-one gave a sh*t about my weight loss and that no-one could understand because there are not that many people who need to lose 145lbs. (I'd say his soon to be wife does......) I was really shocked, deeply offended and really angry. It's true that not everyone has so much to lose, but it doesn't really matter how much, for one person 10lbs would be alot.
Anyhow I was offended because he had snooped on my computer to find out my starting weight and my goal. I can't prove it other than I know he used my computer when the document detailing my weight was open. He also keeps quoting my weight to me and my goal.
I just feel furious with him for being so tactless and insensitive. I asked him to ask his fiance why I was so upset! She is as large as I was before, possibly not as heavy because she is short. He emphatically told me she was so much smaller than I was when I started (SHE IS NOT!) Grrrrr
Great vented now thanks for listening !:hug:


bargoo
04-04-2011, 08:54 AM
Congratulations on a great loss ! I would make it a rule to never discuss weight with your brother or his fiance. It will only frustrate you and they will still have the same attitude.If weight comes up . change the subject, leave the room or just say that subject is NOT open for discussion.

ShanIAm
04-04-2011, 09:19 AM
It's hard for people to be proud of someone else's achievements when they don't have any of their own. Your brother reminds me of that playground bully jealous of the other boys who can throw the ball farther and faster. Please. *insert eye roll here*

I, for one, am EXTREMELY envious of what you have accomplished. It was frustrating and daunting enough to start my weight loss journey but starting from where you to where you ended up is absolutely amazing!! I don't think I could have done it myself honestly.


Lori Bell
04-04-2011, 09:26 AM
Hey there Starbrite! Oy, it sounds like the Bro& future SIL are a little on the defense. The old green eyed monster may be getting the best of them. It's funny, because when I started this whole thing, my Bro & SIL were 100% behind me. They cheered me on until I started to actually get more thin than fat. (And noticeably less than both of them) ;) I upset the apple cart so to speak.

Like Bargoo said, it has now become a topic closed for conversation. Oh yeah, it's still the white elephant in the room but I try my darndest to hide it in the corner and not even look in that direction!

Just keep on trucking. Try to ignore the comments. When I hear stuff like this, in the back of my mind, I think of it as Satan at work...just trying to get me to say WTF, and give in to the temptations. :devil: :)

InControl2Day
04-04-2011, 09:41 AM
Congratulations on your loss! You are doing amazing and it seems like other people now are feeling insecure.

If your brother was indeed snooping, then he obviously has some issues of his own.

I always use other people's negativity to FUEL my motivation :). It sucks people that should be our supporters/cheerleaders are the ones who can hurt us the most.

zoodoo613
04-04-2011, 09:48 AM
You should be proud of yourself! And it's a shame that your brother's not, or at least too caught up in his own insecurities to show it. Sounds like weightloss isn't something that can be discussed in your brother's company.

starbrite
04-04-2011, 09:51 AM
Thank you all- everything said here is true. Bargoo you are 100% correct. I must not mention it anymore. Loribell - I think you may have hit the nail on the head. It was ok when I was 300lbs- there was no danger (in their minds) that I would succeed to the level I have. Ho hum- just keep my head up and carry on (Keep Bugg**ing on KBO) :hug: thank you for your kind encouragements

fatferretfanatic
04-04-2011, 10:44 AM
I cannot wait to have lost that much. You have accomplished soooo much! Congratulatons, and for real, great work. If your brother and his fiance do not support you, that's their problem-and they do have a few problems for not being able to be supportive to you. I don't understand why people do that! If anything, seeing others lose makes me more motivated, not bad about myself! I love being a cheerleader for others, because doing that much work, they deserve it. You deserve a better support system and I am sorry you don't have one :(

Ookpik
04-05-2011, 01:06 AM
Congrats on your loss! That is awesome!

I'm with the rest, they sound like they may have issues about weight of their own, and possibly the best thing is to refrain from discussing weight loss when you're around them. However, if your brother is snooping on your computer about your weight loss, then he probably does "give a sh*t".

ilidawn
04-05-2011, 01:57 AM
You've done just awesomely! I mean mind-blowingly amazing weight loss in such a short period of time! Part of me wonders if he's bitter his fiance hasn't lost weight like that (sorry if that sounds mean but it crossed my mind). Siblings tease each other but that was downright mean and hateful. I actually feel sorry for his fiance too because I wonder if he's that "tactful" with her feelings about her weight.

fancypants
04-05-2011, 07:21 AM
You've done just awesomely! I mean mind-blowingly amazing weight loss in such a short period of time! Part of me wonders if he's bitter his fiance hasn't lost weight like that (sorry if that sounds mean but it crossed my mind). Siblings tease each other but that was downright mean and hateful. I actually feel sorry for his fiance too because I wonder if he's that "tactful" with her feelings about her weight.

That's exactly what I was thinking. Is it possible your brothers fiancÚ put him up to the computer snooping? What is your relationship like with her?
Like the others have said, you have done an amazing job! If they can't be supportive then ##% em! It really grinds my gears when family doesn't support you, your changing your life for the better! Why can't they be happy your happy??

fatmad
04-05-2011, 09:16 AM
I would stay out of their business when it comes to weight, unless she is really asking for help/info etc. But we can't take them on the journey with us.
Too bad he was mean about it. The topic is now off limits, your weight, and theirs!
You are simply inspirational, and if he/she/they are not inspired, that is their problem, they have the right to be in denial.

PElaine
04-05-2011, 10:01 AM
Your brothers behaviour is emotionally abusive. I hate family sometimes. I know that sounds terrible to say, but sometimes I feel like our relatives have an unfair advantage, they have access to us emotionally that other people don't have. If this guys wasn't your brother you probably wouldn't have anything to do with him. I have three brothers and I have cut off contact with two of them because they two were emotionally and verbally abusive. I tried to talk to them about it like a mature adult and they reacted by becoming even more abusive, so I cut them out of my life and have never looked back. I am not saying you have to go to this extreme, but I am saying that you don't have an obligation to tolerate abuse from someone just because he is your brother.

Elaine