Weight Loss Support - Anyone feel EMBARRASSED to be on a diet?
03-31-2011, 04:15 PM
So i've been on this "diet" for a little over a month now. Haven't really "come out" to anyone yet, since its been just a short while and I want to loose a little more weight/people notice on their own before I "come out". So the other day I went out to eat with a few friends and ordered something healthy (grilled chicken and veggies). They all made comments on it like "ooh somebody is trying to eat healthy" "look at you", etc. The first emotions I felt were embarressed and stupid.
Anyone else feel like this sometimes? I know i shouldn't feel bad for eating healthy, but for some reason thats how I felt.
I guess i feel like a "bigger" girl who eats healthy in front of people is like a alcoholic who drinks o'douls non-alcoholic beer.
03-31-2011, 04:20 PM
Do NOT feel embarrassed or stupid!! You are doing something GREAT for yourself!! You will feel better and look better in no time! I understand where you are coming from though. The only problem I have is that if people know I'm actually on a diet that they will critique EVERY thing I eat.
03-31-2011, 04:22 PM
I'm seriously weirded out by this post because I literally blogged about this VERY issue on my 3FC blog!
Asking people their age, weight, salary are all lumped together as taboo subject. Itís making me nervous about being TOO open about how much Iíve lost.
Iím so proud of myself yet Iím conflicted on revealing exactly how much I lost. This isnít the simple ďI gained 10 lbsĒÖ I gained about 70+ pounds within 2 years thatís pretty intense.
It's a very weird feeling but my close friends assure me that it's amazing what I'm doing and I should only feel proud of myself. :)
03-31-2011, 04:23 PM
Congrats on staying on your diet! Actually, I've always ordered things like grilled chicken and veggies, but if your group is into other foods (fried, etc.), they would definitely notice the change. It could be a matter of your friends not wanting you to lose weight/or otherwise change? Not to sound negative, but sometimes we can be subtly sabotaged by family and close friends on our healthy journeys. If it were me, I wouldn't feel 'stupid' but would shrug it off and tell them I'm just trying to eat healthier.
03-31-2011, 04:28 PM
I know exactly how you are feeling!! I have some friends who are the type that would bake my cookies and bring over bags of candy the second they found out I was trying to eat healthier. I have a lot of support from my friends at work and my fiance which is what counts... there is definitely a chance that your friends don't WANT you to lose weight for whatever reason. Best of luck to you!! <3 -Valerie
03-31-2011, 04:35 PM
There is no need to tell others that you are dieting. If they question your food choices just say that's all I feel like today.
03-31-2011, 04:45 PM
Except for you guys online, I haven't told anyone but my husband I'm on a diet. I don't see the point in sharing something so personal. I agree that dieting is a bit embarrassing. My husband told his best friend who politely asked me about it and I was super embarrassed. I asked my husband not tell anyone else. Feeling fat, dieting and weight loss is a very personal thing to me. When I go out to eat and I order just rice and veggies, I say that I'm not hungry because I just ate elsewhere. If I order something with no-sauce or no-oil I say that I'm just in the mood for plain foods. I don't want to explain my choice in terms of my daily calorie budget or fat gram allowance. When a friend asked me if I had lost weight, I said I didn't think so but it was nice of him to say so. I don't want "being on a diet" or "struggling with my weight" to be part of my identity. I don't want others to feel free (or obligated) to comment on changes in my body. Plus, it's kind of an awkward and boring topic for anyone who is not on a diet to discuss.
03-31-2011, 04:54 PM
I haven't told anyone that I am on a "diet" because from past experience people tend to be very judgemental and always want to give you advice. I am doing this "life change" for me and don't want any comments from friends/family/coworkers.
03-31-2011, 04:56 PM
I wish i could take back telling friends i lost/was trying to lose weight. It was more hassle than anything. Always feeling like they were looking at eveeerything i ate, comments here and there..and at the end of the day, girls can be reqlly jealous about this. So, if i were you, i would never 'come out' and tell anyone. That's what i wish i did! When people started noticing, i now just say i started working out and diet was pretty much the same, that skirts all the questions that will follow!
03-31-2011, 04:58 PM
When I first sarted my diet I was embarressed. It didn't stop me or change anything- but, you couldn't tell for several months that I was on a diet. So of course I thogh people were kind of just rolling their eyes... but now, that I have obviusly lost weight everyone pretty much knows I am on a diet and are more supportive then even in the beginning.
03-31-2011, 05:21 PM
I find it much more embarrassing to be overweight and eating large portions than it is to say that I'm trying to change my eating and fitness habits. I don't say I'm on a diet, because I'm not. I'm eating less, making better choices and exercising every day. It's something I'm proud of. Plus, the more people know, the more accountable I feel. And I dint worry too much about people giving advice. I'm doing this the healthy way, so I don't even feel ashamed/secretive about some fad diet.
There is no worry of "well, what if I don't lose it all and people comment?" that is not an option this weight will come off and stay off and I will eat this way for the rest of my life. Period. Keeping it secret allows me to quit in secret too. Can't afford to do that.
03-31-2011, 05:38 PM
I had a weird experience a couple of months ago, going out to lunch with friends I hadn't seen in awhile. We spent the whole time between meeting up and ordering talking about my weight loss. Both of them preceded to order fish and chips while I ordered salad. I felt really weird, like I was showing them up or something. But sheesh! How else would I have accomplished this except by choosing salad over fish and chips?
03-31-2011, 05:38 PM
Completely. I only talk about it here. I try to keep a lid on it with my boyfriend. NEVER with my friends. I hate looking like I'm trying. I don't want to be one of those girls who only talks about 'diets' - I hate that word.
03-31-2011, 05:40 PM
I don't feel embarrased especially since i'm already ready embarrased enough with being fat.
03-31-2011, 05:45 PM
I've only told y boyfriend about my diet. And you guys. A manager at work made a snide comment the other week when I ordered a salad for my break. As though only skinny girls eat salads. I just ignored him. I've decided that this is what is important to me. If people have a problem with it then thats their problem. This is my health so **** them :p
03-31-2011, 05:45 PM
Honestly at first I was a little embarrassed to be on one but then I thought about it and I am more embarrassed to be fat and all the things that go along with that. Like if your fat and you want two cookies people seem to judge you but if your not and you want two its all good. I don't care if people know I am on one its just how they seem to judge you no matter what you do. If your fat you must have gotten that way because you shoveled food in your mouth 24/7 and if your losing weight then you must be doing it in an unhealthy way. UGH
03-31-2011, 05:45 PM
Yes, I denied it until it became too obvious to do so now I play it down lol I don't like the focus being on what I am eating or how much etc it does embarass me.
03-31-2011, 05:54 PM
No. I've never been embarrassed about it. I really didn't care what people thought about my "diet". They could have teased me about it until **** froze over and I didn't care. I didn't hide it, nor did I talk about it in great lengths. But if someone was to ask me about it, I'd tell them whatever they wanted to know. My shame was not in losing, my shame was 333 pounds. My theory was, mock all you like, I knew who would be laughing in the end. ME! Because I knew I would feel great!
03-31-2011, 06:21 PM
I havent even read any of the replies yet, but I just had to comment on your original post!! OMG I know EXACTLY what you are feeling!!
Just this morning I was debating making a post about being "scared" to be on a diet...and with that, feeling embarrassed about being on one.
Its like, if a "normal" sized person orders a certain way, thats expected, but being a bigger person, when you order the same way, people tend to point it out!
Its like "HELLO! I do have feelings here!!"
I do know that for me its going to be hard to get over the fear and embarrassment associated with dieting. Like its not bad enough I am embarrassed about being as big as I am! LOL
I know in time I will be able to move past it all, and you will too, but I totally feel you in the now! As I am sure others have replied, dont let it get to you, you can do it!!!
03-31-2011, 07:11 PM
I feel embarassed all the time because most of my friends are guys they give me the look!!! Then I give them the finger! And order ha ha
03-31-2011, 07:19 PM
I'm one of those that doesn't want many to know I'm on a d-i-e-t. People started paying attention to what you eat and particular attention when you fail. I prefer "nutritional adjustment" over the diet word, because I'm changing my nutrition. I'd rather people notice when I'm slimming down and then I will share. Depending who it is, they may get an amended version of the how's and why's. Silly, I know.
03-31-2011, 07:25 PM
It's real that folks free to make challenging comments about someone's eating.
So, to take that into account, I'd recommend only stating that "My doctor has me watching which foods I eat - hopes to see better numbers on my tests." And then nothing else. People are more reluctant to debate what your doctor told you.
And the statement is undoubtedly true - of some doctor somewhere in your history.
03-31-2011, 07:56 PM
I have never told anyone when I am dieting, except one really good friend. What I eat and how much I weigh is just not up for discussion, fat, thin, or in between. I admit, I am not as uncomfortable now that I have been successful in losing 18 pounds and am a "normal, healthy" weight as I was when I began. My kids have become suspicious though, my 12-year-old started out by asking me how much weight I have lost from running. I said, none. Partially true, I don't think exercise contributes all that much to weight loss for me. He said "Well, you look skinnier." This week, he has asked A LOT of questions like why was I always looking at calories, and why I didn't eat the same dinner as him the last couple nights, and why am I using a small plate at dinner. The kid wanted answers and had a new question every day. I don't know why I have such a hard time admitting wanting to lose weight, even to a 12-year-old kid LOL So, I finally just told him I am trying to eat healthier and he is now satisfied.
03-31-2011, 08:01 PM
YES! I hate to admit that I am doing something for my own well being, we are all programmed to help others but not ourselves.
I try to avoid it! and make excuses big time! The other day someone asked why I wasn't eating the cake/slice I had cooked for a social gathering and I grabbed a piece of watermelon and said "nah, I have had a craving for watermelon lately" and avoided the topic.
I have a big dinner to go out to tomorrow night and I am cringing inside, I don't want to blow My diet (though its more of a healthy lifestyle not a diet) but I plan to stick to my guns, (I am down 90 pounds from my heaviest) and I truelly don't think my body will take crap food, the thought makes me ill.
BUt I am worried about what people will say :( when I order a salad and bypass the booze that normally is part of our gatherings.
03-31-2011, 08:02 PM
I when on my first real diet at 17, and I didn't want to tell anyone. I kinda thought that no one would notice that I was HUGE if I never talked about it :)
By now (10 yrs on) everyone is over my dieting. It's nothing new to them. However I only tell my close friends and family. I like talking about nutrition and it helps having people to talk about it with. I dont tell work mates ect. because I still have that thread of embarrassment, thinking that ppl will just roll their eyes and think I'm so far gone I'm just a lost cause.
03-31-2011, 08:07 PM
I must though add that since i have lost a lot of weight (its really noticeable when you drop nearly 10 dress sizes) I have women being more open to me about their weight and struggles. That I found very hard to deal with too, I had a lady telling me last week shes 130 kg and trys so hard, does 3-4 hours excercise a day including zumba, martial arts.. etc , and she will list it out, then I see her sitting down to lunch and continuously eating :\, healthy foods yes, but the amount is not healthy. I don't want to say anything but I felt she was coming to me for a miracle cure as I have been suceeding. What can I say to not hurt her? anyway she is one of 3 lately asking me and for someone who hates the spotlight it is hard to deal with too.
03-31-2011, 09:32 PM
I refuse to be embarrassed for taking back control. For me, my regain was a result of laziness and going with the flow. Well, I drowned in that flow. Not anymore. I'm swimming strong and I dare them to keep up! Lol!
Honestly, I was never embarrassed about the healthy choices I was starting to make when I began this journey. If anyone thought anything other than "good for her, she's doing something good for herself" then I didn't care about their opinions.
What did embarrass me was what I did before then, being the fat girl who was seen eating a bunch of unhealthy garbage... something I see now as giving other people a view of me publicly destructing myself, or digging myself deeper into the hole I was obviously in.
Nowadays, I'm absolutely proud about what I choose to eat because it's good for me, good for the animals, and good for the environment and I have NO reason to be embarrassed about that. :yes:
04-01-2011, 12:44 AM
I have told 2 close girlfriends at work (and my mom/sister), but that's it. I work with a bunch of guys, and I don't feel like having them pay attention to what I'm eating (or not eating) or looking too closely for changes. It's just awkward. My boss is currently low carbing (is down 8 lbs I think, has 7 to go... goal is like 132... he's a small guy damn him lol) and talks about it allll daaaay loooong.
Someone brought in a bunch of junk food yesterday and they were trying to get me to eat one of the things, and I wouldn't - they said "did you give up sugar for lent?" I said no, you saw me eat a choc dipped strawberry (that I worked into my calories). So I think they are suspicious, especially since I used to be the first one to the cookie tray on Thursday afternoons (they feed us to death there).
04-01-2011, 12:48 AM
Besides on here, I don't talk much about my diet except to DH. My parents know mostly because we visited them since I started losing weight and I wanted to watch what I was eating while we were there (and workout too). My best friend also knows because she's also trying to lose. But beyond that I've mentioned to a handful of other people that I've given up sugar but I don't really say much about it being to lose weight.
I've always been one who eats salads and a lot of veggies in general so people don't really see that as out of the ordinary for me. My biggest weakness is sugar but that's not as much of an issue in public since normally we go out for dinner with friends, not desserts.
04-01-2011, 11:36 AM
Except for you guys online, I haven't told anyone but my husband I'm on a diet.
Me either. I have some close online friends I've known for years and we talk about it amongst each other because we're all trying to lose weight and exercise more but other than than, I don't discuss it. People may know I eat differently (kosher, gluten free, dairy free, organic, etc) but I don't talk about trying to lose weight.
04-01-2011, 11:59 AM
I was never embarrassed about the healthy choices I was starting to make when I began this journey. If anyone thought anything other than "good for her, she's doing something good for herself" then I didn't care about their opinions.
What did embarrass me was what I did before then, being the fat girl who was seen eating a bunch of unhealthy garbage...
I couldn't have said it better and this is how I feel exactly. I felt like I had to out myself to practically everyone because it kept me accountable. And I knew it would be more embarressing to fail and admit defeat later than it would be to say I was dieting. When people noticed my weight loss and asked me how I did it, I was PROUD to tell them. :D
I will admit that with some friends and coworkers who have tried to lose weight and weren't as successful, I minimize it.
04-01-2011, 02:30 PM
I used to be embarrassed to be on a diet, but now, if i hide it, it's only because i'm embarrassed that i'm on a diet AGAIN. i don't want to be one of those people who are constantly dieting and never seem to lose weight!
I am so not embarrassed about it that i actually posted on my Facebook page that i'm going to lose 10 pounds. A few times in the last week, i've had the desire to just give in and binge and "start over tomorrow"--but then i think, well i said on Facebook that i was going to lose 10 pounds so if i don't, i'll be embarrassed. It worked--i didn't binge!
04-01-2011, 04:46 PM
I just had another thought about what I was embarressed about when I first started dieting and exercising in January. I was embarressed about telling people I was going to the gym. Whenever someone would ask, "Hey, whatcha doing tonight?" I'd say I was going to a friends house or whatever. I assumed if I told them the truth they'd have a surprised look on their face.
I was just reminded of this because someone just asked me that question. I didn't think about it and just said, "Going to the gym, nothing interesting". And they were like, "Oh, OK. Have a good weekend.". There was no look of shock or surprise.
04-01-2011, 05:33 PM
Not embarassed at all. Except when people gang up on me. I know in the black/african american community being 'thick' or having curves is a positive thing. There are many overweight women running around here with 20-30 extra pounds on their bodies because someone thinks it's sexy.
I try not to mention being on a diet & sort of hope that no one will notice. I've had some women accuse me of trying to be 'skinny like a white girl' & that I'm 'always on some sort of diet' as they look me up & down in disgust LOL.
I can't wait till the holidays =/
04-01-2011, 07:27 PM
not embarrassed by the diet, embarrassed by the "YOU'RE eating *that?*" look when i go out and get fish or grilled chicken and seasoned veggies with ice water, instead of something breaded and fried washed down with a gallon of something sugary and fizzy, followed by something fat laden and probably a normal sized person's allotment of calories in one bowl.
that's not to say i don't miss breaded chicken, french fries, or brownie sundaes... but i've told myself they should be rewards, not regular parts of my diet... so far, it's working.
04-02-2011, 09:19 PM
I was never embarrassed, sometimes jealous, when others would eat stuff that is totally not on plan for me, but never embarrassed.
04-02-2011, 10:21 PM
Don't be embarrassed. It says more about the person asking, IMO.
04-02-2011, 10:55 PM
Yeah, I do find it somewhat embarrassing--but more because I still feel (however wrong-headedly) that it's embarrassing to NEED to be on a weight-loss plan. Somewhere in the back of my subconscious mind lurks the idea that it's a shameful weakness to have to concentrate on doing something that other people do naturally.
I never like to be seen trying at anything, I guess--I'd rather be seen once I'm already fairly accomplished at it.
It's also a weird thing I have that if I acknowledge a conscious attempt to lose weight, I also acknowledge that I'm fat. I know, I know--it isn't like people didn't notice anyway. :D But somehow I felt that if I didn't let on that I was/am overweight, others would likewise ignore it, kind of the way people tactfully ignore a random stomach gurgle during conversation--"Yes, we have these inconvenient things called 'bodies,' but we just won't pay any attention to them when they misbehave; it's more polite that way."
It's especially weird that I feel this way about my own weight and my efforts to lose some of it because when I hear that someone else is working on losing his/her extra fat, I'm all, "Bravissimo!" and full of excitement for that person. For me, though, it's still embarrassing.
So weird. :D