Weight Loss Support - I think I'm developing disordered eating...




Linsy
03-30-2011, 10:33 PM
It's scary to type this, but I need to put it somewhere. I think I often make cries for help to people close to me like "I haven't eaten in two days" and nobody seems to bat an eye...I'm actually starting to do it on purpose because I love the low weights that the scale shows me when I'm dehydrated. I got home from my trip last night and weighed myself after 2 weeks and was at 210 (I was 220 before, it was a 2 week trip). I was ecstatic, but now I'm afraid to eat because I know a lot of it was because I hadn't eaten all day. I know if I eat I'll probably put on at least 5 pounds of water and that freaks me out. I want to be in onederland so bad and being 11 pounds away just makes me want to starve until I'm safely there.

I know this is horrible behavior and I could be losing muscle and ruining my metabolism. I just can't get out of the mindset. I see such fast results when I don't eat and honestly I am never hungry because I'm depressed. Logically I know I need food but my body feels fine so it doesn't bother me.

I know the only thing I can do is just stay off the scale, eat normally for a few days and then weigh myself and do damage control. But I can't. It's so hard. The 210 on the scale was such a happy moment I practically jumped for joy.


hatgirlie
03-30-2011, 10:51 PM
I know it's the wrong way to do it, but I understand because I do the same thing.

Linsy
03-30-2011, 10:56 PM
I lost 50+ pounds fairly quickly just by eating right and monitoring my carbs. For some reason I decided to just try starving. I think what happened was I got really depressed and stopped eating and then noticed I was still losing weight pretty quickly and I created a monster...now I don't know how to stop it without sending myself into a mental breakdown. I can't stand to see the scale go up on top of everything else.


lucysam77
03-30-2011, 11:02 PM
Hi Linsy:
You need to think about this, if you don't eat you're gonna lose weight but never going to learn how do it in the right way, so sooner or later you're gonna gain back all that weight and maybe some more. Don't worry about the scale, be patient.... set realistic mini goals like losing 7 pounds in a month and go for it, keep active, watch your diet.... this journey is about get healthy. :-)

Good Luck!

niafabo
03-30-2011, 11:05 PM
Forget about your metabolism having problems if you don't eat for extended periods of time your organs will start to shut down, your hair will fall out, your blood pressure will plummet, you could develop a permanent heart condition or suffer heart failure, your bones will become brittle, you will lose your period, and you could have abnormal hair growth. Don't think just because you have fat to burn your body doesn't need nutrients. If you don't provide your body with what it needs it will canibalize itself and take it from various parts of its body. You could be doing serious damage to yourself and for what? So you can look skinny. Won't do you much good if you have to spend all your time in the hospital.

keraniluna
03-30-2011, 11:12 PM
If you are committed to weight loss - and it sounds like you are - you will get there eventually, and doing it slowly and the right way will make sure you stay there. There's no need to do anything drastic - you might get to see the numbers you want right now, but doing unhealthy things to get there will mean you won't be able to maintain - or even worse, that you'll do permanent damage to your body.

Losing weight should be ultimately about getting healthy, and taking care of your body. You need to nourish yourself - your body and your mind - and make this journey about loving yourself and wanting to improve, not punishing yourself. :hug:

lucysam77
03-30-2011, 11:12 PM
Forget about your metabolism having problems if you don't eat for extended periods of time your organs will start to shut down, your hair will fall out, your blood pressure will plummet, you could develop a permanent heart condition or suffer heart failure, your bones will become brittle, you will lose your period, and you could have abnormal hair growth. Don't think just because you have fat to burn your body doesn't need nutrients. If you don't provide your body with what it needs it will canibalize itself and take it from various parts of its body. You could be doing serious damage to yourself and for what? So you can look skinny. Won't do you much good if you have to spend all your time in the hospital.
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Angie
03-30-2011, 11:13 PM
It sounds like you know the right way to lose weight already. It may be tempting to see bigger movement on the scale, but bear in mind, when you see 210, that's not real and it's not sustainable. Obviously you can't just go on not eating, you already know that's not an option.

I'm assuming that when you tell people that you haven't eaten for 2 days and they don't bat an eye, that is probably because they assume you are being facetious, or exaggerating. Why not reach out to one of those people to have a real conversation and talk about how you are really feeling at this point in your journey?

Coming here is also always good for a reality check and for support or motivation.

laueliz
03-30-2011, 11:52 PM
Everyone has made important comments about your health, and I agree with those. Please consider all those things.

Consider that you'll be malnourished and dehydrated -- horrible for your organs, especially your kidneys. Your body does need healthy fat and protein to build cells. You could become anemic and your immune system could go in the tank as well. You need water and can die from dehydration quicker than you think. I'm sorry if that sounds dramatic, but it's the truth. You're taking a serious risk here.

Try to slowly introduce more meals and more water each day. Whatever you can get yourself to do, and then slowly increase it from there. Don't assume how much weight you will or will not gain from eating/drinking more -- that's not necessarily going to happen and eating can help fuel your metabolism. You shouldn't really have less than 1200 cals in a day, so try to at least make it to that level.

If you can't stop thinking this way and can't stop restricting, please get the help of a counselor. There may be free help in your community somewhere. I'm worried! Please get help if you can't control it.

lucysam77
03-31-2011, 02:09 AM
I'm doing 1400 calories per day plus 1 hour walking (around 3 miles) per day, I lost 25 pounds in 8 weeks, i feel more energy because of the exercise and at the same time I'm not starving myself...

krampus
03-31-2011, 02:50 AM
Disordered thinking and eating is very real and can happen to anyone. I'm sorry the people around you haven't been taking you seriously. A lot of people think a person isn't endangering themselves unless they are extremely underweight but that's just ignorant and uneducated, to put it generously. Starving does produce immediate results on the scale, but like everyone is saying, you can't keep it up forever without either dying or getting very sick. Also, too much restriction often leads to binging and massive weight gain/regain. You know all this though.

It sounds like you feel you've lost control. I hope you can find the help you need.

mandalinn82
03-31-2011, 03:06 AM
I have fallen into this pattern also - had a very stressful few weeks, didn't eat because I literally could not without getting sick, and the scale went down - and I kind of liked that the scale went down, and knew that if I ate, I'd put some of it back on again.

My solution was pretty simple, when you think about it...I put away my scale and made all of my goals about my plan. I planned my healthy, on plan meals, got my groceries together, and focused on taking care of me by exercising and eating healthy foods. I was able to turn it around by getting back into my groove before I got back on the scale.

For me, I was feeling wildly out of control from the stress. Unfortunately, not eating and not taking care of myself made me feel more stressed, more out of control, and exhausted from not fueling myself, which means that I was even less mentally able to handle any scale gain that might happen. So it was important for me to put the scale away, get my eating back on schedule, and THEN face whatever happened on the scale, once I had my body fueled up and more stable. And yes, I was up a pound or two from my starved, dehydrated low, but I was more mentally stable because I was eating and taking care of myself, which meant I was more able to handle that reality.

If you can't stay away from the scale, or you can't get yourself back in a healthy eating pattern fairly quickly, you need to talk to a professional. You don't want to wreck your mental or physical health, and if you can't turn it around fairly soon, you need to get professional help in getting yourself back on a healthy path.

:hug: to you.

Mishflynn
03-31-2011, 03:41 AM
just remeber that if you havent eaten for two days , the number on the scale is NOT your weight, that is your dehydrated weight!
We all understand, ive done it tons of times over the years.

gagalu
03-31-2011, 04:05 AM
just keep in mind that if after eating you'd gain 5 lbs of water weight, what you've lost isn't real. you haven't lost fat, you've lost water. there is very little difference in how you look and how healthy you are when that happens, because you still have the fat. the fat is the problem. the number on the scale is insignificant.

milmin2043
03-31-2011, 06:45 AM
I know this is difficult, but why not take the focus off the scale and concentrate on exercise and eating the healthiest you can? Work toward becoming an athlete and your weight loss will follow. Don't give the scale so much power in your life. Take back your power and have your journey be about health rather than becoming "skinny". Good luck to you and I would like to reiterate what others have said above in that if you feel totally out of control, please consider getting professional help.

:hug:

shannonmb
03-31-2011, 07:02 AM
I agree with giving the scale a break. It may sound ridiculous to think that at 350 lbs, I was worried about overrestricting myself at first, and for that very reason I had to weigh myself monthly. I knew if I started seeing those same (or close to it) numbers on the scale day in and day out, that at some point I was going to panic and start moving those numbers down FAST by whatever means necessary. I thankfully realized at the very beginning that, yes, I want the scale to go down, but that NO, I do not want it to be by starving so that I could have one splurge, freak out, and gain it all back (which I have done more than once). It was very important for me to get into the behaviors that lead to healthy, sustainable weight loss, rather than focusing on the numbers and doing "whatever I have to do to get them down fast!" So I weighed monthly for several months. And in my mind, it was THE key.

After being at it several months, I started weighing weekly. And I still have those panicked thoughts at times "GET THIS MOVING NOW!" But I have my behaviours pretty firmly in place and I can resist the urge to move to unsustainable methods. Everyone's different in how they relate to the scale, but it sounds to me like you could use a break from it and focus on eating right and exercising without the pressure of the numbers. ;)

Vally26
03-31-2011, 04:35 PM
I have done this so many times before.. it feels nice to finally be losing weight the right way instead of in an unhealthy way where I never keep it off but lose it quickly. Best of luck and I definitely would recommend an outpatient counselor or therapist. Therapy works!

Linsy
03-31-2011, 06:02 PM
I think I'm going to try to take everyone's advice. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in this. I feel kind of like I'm failing because I lost 50 pounds the "right" way and now I'm spiraling out of control.
I love my scale but I think I'm going to put it away for a while and eat at least 1200 calories a day for a week and then face it again. I'm thinking maybe if I eat more calorie dense foods like nuts, oil on my salad, etc I'll be able to up my calories more without having to focus too much on the food. Last night I managed to stomach half of a salad with a vinegar and oil dressing so that's a start.

I haven't eaten today but the hot dogs in the fridge look REALLY good so I might grill a couple of bunless hot dogs and split them with some cheese and mustard with a salad.

Linsy
03-31-2011, 07:48 PM
Today I've eaten lots of salty processed convenience foods...still keeping it low carb but I'll probably retain water from the sodium.

I had 1/2 of a cheese stick, 1/2 of a pepperoni stick, 2 grilled hot dogs with mustard, 1 cheetos puff and and glass of raspberry crystal light. Salt, salt, salt! I figure it's better than not eating at all. I'm guessing somewhere around 600 calories for the day which is better than the 200 or so I've had for the past couple of days.

Maybe later tonight I'll have a salad and try to sneak some cheese and oil there to bring my calorie count closer to 800...I don't know how I'm going to feel later so I'll see.

niafabo
03-31-2011, 09:12 PM
glad your eating again but you should seriously think about making some healthier food choices especially while your body is recovering. you may also need to eat at maintance for a week or two so your metabolism heals but i know you won't do that.

Linsy
03-31-2011, 09:51 PM
Yeah, I know I probably should. I'm thinking turkey burgers with a salad for dinner...that should bump my cals closer to 1200 which would be good. After eating I actually got my appetite back a bit more. Hopefully this continues tomorrow.

Linsy
04-01-2011, 12:16 PM
Well, I ate probably around 1200-1400 calories yesterday+lots of cheese and sodium+water and when I stepped on the scale today expecting to be horrified...I was the EXACT same weight that I was when I hadn't eaten in 2 days. To the ounce. I was under the impression that when you gain water it shows up immediately the next day, correct? Or maybe I'm going to be lucky and not gain once I start eating again? Could anyone explain why I didn't gain any weight once I started eating?

sweetsmmr91
04-01-2011, 12:28 PM
I just want to say that I recently saw 210 on the scale for the first time, and I did it through proper dieting and exercise. It feels WAY more fulfilling knowing that you're going to be 210 and you earned it through dieting the correct way, and changing your life. Also knowing that I won't gain it back because I eat the appropriate foods.. trust me, I have eating problems with binging at times. But getting down to 210 from 345, in a little less than a year... that's rewarding. And I can assure you that I have no doubts and no qualms about eating or drinking water because I think I'll gain weight. The fact that I eat and drink so much is the reason why I HAVE lost the weight. If you need anyy dieting advice, feel free to PM me. I don't like to hear things like this, because I know that you'll feel devastated when you go right back up to 220 when you return to your old diet.. because I know that's how I would feel. Anyways, good luck ! I see that you're working on it and that's wonderful !

Linsy
04-01-2011, 01:50 PM
It's not that I don't know how to lose the weight correctly...I just have some underlying issues that are affecting my weight loss. Like I said in my post above, I can't figure out why I didn't gain any water weight from my salty food blowout yesterday. I did stay under 30 carbs yesterday (I do Atkins) so maybe I don't retain a lot of water because I eat low carb?

I forgot to mention that even when I am not eating I still eat low carb for the meals I can stomach. I haven't eaten over 50 carbs in 1 day probably for the past 6-7 months or so. Could that be the reason I didn't experience a big water weight jump after eating yesterday?

saef
04-01-2011, 02:26 PM
Linsy, meet asparagus, broccoli, cauliflower, green beans, and zucchini. Maybe even a sweet potato. (I'm not a particularly low-carber & don't know whether they're considered okay.)

When you do eat, I worry about the only vegetables in your life being salads.

Please stay in touch on this thread & let us know what you're eating. Also, please do consider checking in with a professional about this.

Linsy
04-01-2011, 02:29 PM
Oh, I actually eat a lot of vegetables! I buy lots of frozen stir-fry mixes and throw them in with some chicken and soy sauce and maybe some ginger...one of my favorite meals!

I just wasn't feeling well yesterday and I was trying to eat pretty much anything that I could stomach (I was also gone for 2 weeks and don't have any vegetables except green beans and peas right now, we need to go grocery shopping).

I'm still not feeling that great...I know I should probably get help from a professional but I can't really afford it.

ems81wales
04-04-2011, 10:51 AM
im glad you started eating again iv done the same thing years ago and it aint worth it as u will pile it back on if you keep doing it. you need to cut down on carbs and have more protien and water. If you find your self doing it again i would go and seek help. x

FatJayne
04-04-2011, 11:25 AM
I do the starving thing a lot too because I seem to not be able to just eat a normal amount. It is actually really easy for me to eat slim to nothing all day every day- or severely over-eat. There is no in-between for me. If I start to eat then it seems like its impossible for me to stop. But then the result is that I loose 10 lbs in 5 days and gain 15 the next week....

FatJayne
04-04-2011, 11:28 AM
BTW I have also had an eating disorder before (bulimia with periods of anorexia) and no one seemed to ever notice. I would say things like "I haven't eaten in 2 days" and no one would even bat an eye. I think people just don't take that seriously when you are overweight.:(