Weight Loss Support - Trying to justify a binge :(
03-30-2011, 05:13 PM
I have just had a binge. I feel very sick. I got a tub of houmous out the fridge (a big one) and the pack of carrot sticks (670g bag). When I got them out I thought it'd be ok. I meant to just have a few sticks dipped in houmous, then put the rest in the fridge. I've been doing really well lately. But I thought I had more control than this.
I managed to eat through half the bag and half the tub of houmous while lounging about on the sofa. The bad thing about this is that I'm trying to justify my actions in my head.
"Well, I only had about 1300 calories today"...."well carrots and low fat houmous isn't exactly chocolate or biscuits or sweets"..."well its only about 250 calories"....NO! ITS STILL A BINGE!
I normally put things on a plate in the kitchen and then only eat whatever is on the plate. I don't know why I brought the lot in with me! I'm so angry with myself.
I used to hide my binges. I'd push the wrappers under everything else in the kitchen bin. Or put the rubbish in a carrier bag and walk to the end of the road where there is a little dustbin so I could hide the "evidence". Thats why I needed to share this. I don't want to be that person anymore. Because today its carrot sticks and houmous, tomorrow its 2 or 3 bags of crisps, then its big bars of chocolate, sweets, biscuits....IT HAS TO STOP!
I need to regain control.
03-30-2011, 05:26 PM
I realize that this is a binge, and that you are dissapointed. But was it really only 250 calories that you binged on? That sounds like a little bit more than a snack-don't beat yourself up. Just go on-for real, at least it wasn't sweets or something enormously calorically dense. I am sorry that you're dissapointed with yourself, but your day, and your correct calorie count can still be saved!!! Next time, just try to be more aware-you know your mistakes. Don't worry about it-you've recognized it, and that's the most important part of healing.
03-30-2011, 05:31 PM
I understand about the hiding thing. My husband would make comments about my portions or what I was eating, so I started to hide it, which, of course, made things worse. Later I told him he has to stop with comments and that I was hiding food because I was afraid of comments and that was leading to worse behaviors. He stopped nagging. I stopped hiding. And I started on the road to no more binging/secretive eating and started to get myself in a better mindset to be able to handle this big weight loss journey I'm now on.
Good for you for realizing, no matter what the food is, eating more than you planned, is still eating too much. But, take heart that in WHAT you 'binged' on at least didn't do any weight loss harm.
03-30-2011, 05:36 PM
I know you're right. But I feel just as low and sickly as I would had I gorged myself on chocolate cake!
Carrots are really low calorie, and I only buy low fat houmous which is fairly low cal too. Just feel like I'd had my tea. I wasn't really hungry I just wandered into the kitchen and this is the first thing I thought to eat. So I have binged on it. I've started avoiding any cakes/choc/junk food as much as I can because I know if I eat any by myself (like tonight) I'll find myself just bingeing.
I read on a site today that when you feel the need to binge you should have a box full of suggestions of activities to do instead that don't involve eating. So I've done that. I have a tub full of ideas like "do 10 star jumps", "go for a walk"...etc. I thought that was a fantastic idea. But I didn't MEAN to binge. I got the munchies, picked this up and ate too much. :(
03-30-2011, 05:47 PM
I know you may feel like you binges but it seems more like mindless eating to me. I would count the calories and then move on.
03-30-2011, 05:50 PM
MJ....you are certainly my emotional twin today. I went on and on a few hours ago in a post about how I ate so terribly last night and this morning. And the combined total of those two meals was MAYBE 1,100 calories. When I used to binge, those many calories were in a snack! But yes, I do understand that feeling of being out of control. And what scares us too is that we look at it as a sign of falling back into our old habits. We just need to tell ourselves that it WILL NOT. Because we have come too far to turn back!!
Are you opposed to food sabatoging? Last night at Olive Garden the breadsticks were taunting me....and I ate one. I was on the verge of eating another when I decided to soak them in diet coke. It's very theraputic! LOL They don't look so good soggy and brown and I took back the control it temporarily had over me.
I'm sending you BIG hugs!
03-30-2011, 05:51 PM
Dito on the "mindless eating" thing...move on. best advice ever! It's was gets me through all of my mindless eating fits.:D
03-30-2011, 06:03 PM
Just be happy it wasnt a bag of chips and dip!!!! You made a good choice for you binge if your gonna do it!
03-30-2011, 06:07 PM
Just forgive yourself and make a mental note that next time you will put some on a plate. We all have slip ups from time to time.
03-30-2011, 06:16 PM
i feel like the more you consider it a binge, the more likely you'll binge in the future. to me, it just sounds like it was a large serving of a healthy food...it does not sound like a binge. if you consider it a binge, i think you're more likely to think "well i failed, so i might as well eat more and continue the binge." if you think, well my body must be extra hungry today, and i ate a few more calories than planned, but it was healthy...i think that will keep your sanity in check. sorry...i guess i AM trying to justify it! because it honestly doesn't sound like a binge to me.
03-30-2011, 06:16 PM
I ate 2 full packs of snack-a-jacks (one caramel flavour and one cheese flavour) :(
03-31-2011, 07:37 AM
Thanks for all your advice. I think the reason I'm associating it with a binge is that I didn't stop eating til I was feeling far more than hungry.
I think I'm going to just count the calories and move on.
03-31-2011, 09:10 AM
I totally know how you are feeling. I had a binge on cold chicken breast, a rice crispy treat and a spoonful of peanut butter last month and I felt like I had just eaten 2 Big Macs and a super-sized fries. The feeling for me was "loss of control". I knew when I went back to the kitchen for the 2nd, then 3rd thing, that I was not comfortable doing it, but I just couldn't reason with myself. THAT scared me, that, like you said, the next step is bags of chips, etc. I was really concerned that I was on my way back to my old ways in one false move! But know what? The next day I woke up back in my new mindset, and carried on happily from there, no harm done.
I have come to see challenges like this as "practice". Every time I do something like that and then get right back on plan, I am growing stronger in my resolve. I am really starting to BELIEVE that these life changes can stick. That one bad decision or one crazy couple of hours does not define me or my journey. I need this practice, because I know for sure that I will have "one of those days" from time to time.
By the way, someone not too long ago posted a thread about being really hungry before a whoosh. Since I do have one of these weird "eat everything in sight" days once in awhile, I've started keeping track, and so far it is ALWAYS a few days before I see a whoosh on the scale. Woo!
I've also done the "oh, I don't need to portion this out, I'll know when to stop" (getting a little cocky at times), and that just never ends well for ME. Lesson learned on that one!
Sorry so long, guess I'm just really relating to your post! :D