Low Carb Archive - whiners anonymous...stress relief for the weary

HEY! You, over there...yep, YOU, the one with tinsel in her hair and cashew bittle stuck between your teeth...this is for you.

Do you not live in a white house with a picket fence?

Do you not live in the Land of Perfect? (thank you Walgreens)

Are you feeling that the word hum is creeping into your ho ho?

Are you using a four letter word that starts with the consonant blend "sh"?

and rhymes with pit?

Did your toilet bowl just over flow?

Do you have a big batch of meatballs in your fridge ready to roll, and you forgot the parsley?

Did you pack your kid's lunches and put them in your.......purse?

Well, If the holiday season is looking a little less than picture perfect, then this is the place for you to come and share and whine. You need not put your name to paper.....WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!

sincerely,
Queen Whiney

Well I did make a meat loaf the other day that tasted like dodo !

:D

Dog peed on dh work pants at 6:30 this morning! To say the least it was not a good start to the day.

LOL!

I did put the tree up this year but I asked the kids what other Christmas decorations they just H A D to have up so that they wouldn't need deep psycotherapy in their 30s for being deprived as children. Bless their hearts they limited it to just a few things.

(thanks for putting that bit in about the white picket fence, Peachy - you know how I feel about those!)

Kel

If someone has a surefire method short of duct tape to calm down my Christmas crazed child and equally rambunctious pup, I'm all ears! The carpet has taken a beating this year--hot chocolate, popcorn, milk, juice ---you name it, it's been on it!

My parents are coming this weekend and NOT staying til Christmas so I have to do it twice!!!! I want to scream and cry and scream!!!!!!!!:lol:

My new tires and brakes for my van just cost over $600.00!!!!!!

And, and....................hubby is getting a crown put on as I type this!!! Dental insurance will only cover a small portion!!

And you know what really just busts my chops............for $600 dollars you would think they could wash the blue stuff off the white lettering on the tires!!!!

I haven't stayed on plan and my pants are tight and uncomfortable, I feel as bloated as the Michelin man, I'm tired, I have my period (although I was wanting it to come all week), and I want to go home and crawl into bed!!!

i can't even begin to start here... between mom saying 'what can i do to help you' when she can't even clear her junk off the kitchen table or the dining room table or her clothes on her floor.

and let's not start on those people coming to visit next week!! was almost in tears this morning, dreading it.

and this damn job!!!!

so... that's the very abbreviated version...

The COST....just the effing COST of everything!! I swear I didn't even have half a cartful today and it was $200. Of course I bought a couple of ducks and some Xmas table linens but SHEESH, enough is enough!
Also, they've moved Future Shop since the last time I ventured there. How can they just do that? Here I went out of my way to get there to buy some last minute requests from #2 grandson (the little sh***) and it's disappeared into thin air!! :mad:

The electric company. They cut our lights off today, mom sat home for 3 hours with no lights, tv, cordless phone, or oxygen. I came home for lunch and had this on my hands. The kicker, I just paid the bill on the 10th, they have no record of it. In order to get the electricity restored, I had to pay the blankety-blank thing again, and bring in the cancelled check where I paid it last week. The funny thing? The b***ch told me to have a wonderful holiday! Don't you just wanna slap some people?

Peachy you must have been reading my mind today!

Yes, Kel :lol: I will admit to thinking of you with the fence!

Support is good!

:love:
peach

Oh sherry that must have been a night mare!! How can they shut off the lights with your motner dependant on o2??? that is not legal!!!

I had a day from heck!! I started with a winey so and so who wanted me to feed her as i was trying to pass medication to 18 other people. as she said she was 82 years old and could not do it with out spilling it. i told er i spilt my food to so we are even!! but she needed to try to eat for her self. she is here for rehab to go home not for us to do everything!! the day went down hill from there!! then they asked me to do OT i told them i had to go home by 5 as i had a hose full of boy scouts comming to MY hose at 6 so at 6 10 i was leaving work to pick up a new little boy who did not have a ride!! then we did photograpy and i could not get the pictures to show up on the puter!!! how frusterating i finally got it after about 20 min of brain glitch and the boys bouncing off the wall!

OOHHH my head hurts i sm going to bed!!

Oh my gosh, it is SO nice to know none of us are alone! We all have our different problems, but they all make us feel the same.
I won't even begin to mention mine right now, it's too late to get myself riled up! I'm glad I have all of you as my friends, though. :)

I'm 20 lbs heavier than I was last Xmas....and I gave away all my dress clothes because I was never going to gain again!!!!!

You know the story!

:( This too shall pass

Elizabeth

The joy of brightning other lives, bearing each other's burdens, easins others' loads...with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of Christmas.
Tazcat
Another pot luck yesterday, Back on program today, Please help me to say no today ,.......

......and back by popular demand (or not :eek: )

.......just in case you have some time to spare.......

http://web.dbtech.net/~suncastl/angel.htm


peach

you're a sick woman. CUTE, but sick.

we're NOT doing this one, are we??????

Yucky yucky yucky!!!:o :o :o

LOL! Thanks for that, Peachie Keen! I needed a giggle! I think I will print it out and tell my 3 teens that we are going to do THIS craft project!!!!

(What? What the heck use is it to have kids if you can't have a laugh at their expense???)

Kel

Do it Kel! :devil:

My almost 22 year old son cringes when you mention the word bra and his sister in the same sentence. :lol: I can't imagine what he would do if I gave him instructions for the Tampon Angel.

Debbie

OHMYGAWD! That is so bizarre! ROTFPMP! :lol:

Try not to imagine it in pale pink!

Tears rolling down my face! too funny!!!

Those of you with teens, I admire your parenting techniques :lol: VERY effective!!!!

Jiff, no we are not making this one THIS year, perhaps next! Besides, I have something even MORE special for you!!!!

can you believe it?!

hohoho

signed,
not jiff

(yea, SHE is getting one too!!!!)

anyone want to adopt me???? does anyone know what peachie is up to????


HHHEEEELLLPPPPPP!!!!!!!

Jiff, come on over, we'll have to have a talk about that sister of yours, then I'll sign the adoption papers :D

(actually, she's just like me :dizzy: )

leenie.. as much as i love both of you, i don't think i could handle it in stereo!!!

now, just to make today EXTRA SPECIAL mom has officially lost two presents. a gift certificate to a bookstore and a CD to give her secret pal TOMORROW!!!, so we just got back from the mall.. thank goodness it was one-stop shopping! i was sooo annoyed that i spent MORE THAN TWO HOURS at the gym.. 45 minutes of weights and a 1/2 mile swim. then a long soak in the whirlpool and a long hot shower.

and now, mom has given me a whole big bag of her laundry to do [i asked her for it], and she's mixed the dirty clothes in with the clean ones, and she's mad at me for pointing this out!!! she's actually believing that she'll do her own laundry next week!!! yeah right. and what planet is she on???!!!!

i need a break. maybe i'll disappear next week when everyone else is around to tend to her...

Jiff go for it!! Let the "other" relatives spend time with Mom. You grab peachie and the two of you escape for a few hours, doing sister stuff!!

Debbie

Came across this and thought it was cute:

A Woman's Version of the Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the kitchen;
I was cooking and baking and moanin and *****in.
I've been here for hours, I can't stop to rest.
This room's a disaster, just look at this mess!

Tomorrow I've got thirty people to feed.
They expect all the trimmings.
Who cares what I need!
My feet are both blistered; I've got cramps in my legs.
The cat just knocked over a bowl full of eggs.

There's a knock at the door and the telephone's ringing;
frosting drips on the counter as the microwave's dinging.
Two pies in the oven, dessert's almost done;
my cookbook is soiled with butter and crumbs.

I've had all I can stand, I can't take anymore;
Then in walks my husband, spilling rum on the floor.

He weaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady;
then grins as he chuckles "The egg nog is ready!"

He looks all around and with total regret, says,
"What's taking so long....aren't you through in here yet?"
As quick as a flash I reach for a knife;
He loses an earlobe; I wanted his life!

He flees from the room in terror and pain
and screams, "MY GOD WOMAN, YOU'RE GOING INSANE!!"
Now what was I doing, and what is that smell?
Oh darn it's the pies! They're burned all to ****!

I hate to admit when I make a mistake,
but I put them on BROIL instead of on BAKE.
What else can go wrong? Is there still more ahead?
If this is good living, I'd rather be dead.

Lord, don't get me wrong, I love holidays;
It just leaves me exhausted, all shaky and dazed.
But I promise you one thing, if I live 'til next year,
You won't find me pulling my hair out in here.
I'll hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter;
and if that doesn't work, I'LL HAVE IT ALL CATERED!

Lovely! Thanks, Kel! Excellent timing!

"he loses an earlobe, I wanted his life"

made me howl!!!!!!!!!

Thanks, Kel, it is priceless...I am hoping my sister will needle point it for me!!!!!

aaaaahhhhhh...to be catered!!!!!!

Leens, sweetie, I think you are adorable!!!!!

......and Jiff!....you could handle the stereo....YOU are so much stronger now!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas, My Chickie Friends!

love you to pieces!
peach
ps...where's Janice?

Thanks Kel, that was awesome!! :lol: :lol:

Here I am Peachie! :D Running behind as is usual!

Loved the poem Kel ~ We won't get started on my stress! Today is Christmas! :dizzy:

You guys are killling me!!! I just sent DH to the store for some tampons, will be my craft for next year!!!!