100 lb. Club - How did your weight gain happen?

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03-22-2011, 11:57 AM
I know what you are thinking food and being sedentary. What I really mean is, as you were gaining weight did you notice from the moment it started? Were you aware of the pounds, as they were increasing? Or were you more like me who was kind of oblivious? I feel like the pounds came slow and steady, but when I realized I was fat it felt like it happened over night as opposed to the slow climb it really was. So how did it happen for you?

03-22-2011, 12:02 PM
Oh my goodness, I was painfully aware of every single pound and felt powerless to stop it.

It started when I weighed about 135 pounds just prior to my wedding, more than I'd weighed in college. We were getting married, so of course I did the typical "lose a few pounds" diet type thing. It didn't work. I started BCP's. I gained 10 pounds while dieting and exercising and got married at 145.

After that, of course I slacked off. The weight just piled on in excess to the "slacking" off I did. I gained about 40 pounds in the first year and it just kept coming with two babies.

I swear BCP's triggered PCOS in me. I think it messed with the delicate nature of my hormones. I also didn't understand just how active I had been walking the college campus.

So yes, for me it was PCOS, eating the wrong things and moving too little. I had moments where I tried to accept myself. That never worked. But I was never oblivious. I wished I could have been oblivious!

03-22-2011, 12:27 PM
I'd always been a BIT heavier than most, but carried it very well. When I lived at home I at least had other people in the house so I didn't go insane on the food, and my dad would always get me out walking. When I was about 19 or 20 I moved out on my own and then all **** broke loose. I was literally a spoiled brat of a kid loose in a candy store!! I swear I went from about 180 to 250 in 2 years. After I met my future DH, and he liked me the way I was, I really had no motivation to do much about it, packed on another 50 or 60 pounds over the course of 10 years. Insane!

Once I beat that little snot of an inner child into submission, things turned around ;)

03-22-2011, 01:15 PM
I watched mine pile on the whole time, and I knew it was piling on, but damn, did I think I looked good!! WTH!?!?! I thought I carried it well, and that the pictures taken of me were taken from just awful angles, so I thought I looked a lot less than what I actually weighed.

My weight gain happened between 2001-2006 when I packed on over 100 pounds. It was spread out over the course of 5 years, so it was a steady weight gain. But, it only took one time sitting down in my car in my highest-sized pair of jeans and having them cut into my skin because they were getting too tight for me to realize, "Dang...I. Am. Fat."

03-22-2011, 01:23 PM
So for me it was a few things… and yes lazy was most definitely a part of it. However, a lot of it started when I gave up riding/showing horses. That was a lot of exercise I got in that offset my mostly horrible diet. I have always been “hungry” and ate too much. I was slightly overweight in high school, but wasn’t that concerned about it. I was about the same starting off college, and then when I gave up horses (just couldn’t afford them anymore) I started gaining weight a lot faster. I didn’t worry about what I ate, I was broke so in a college town the cheapest thing is mac & cheese and pizza. 3 2-topping pizzas for $9.99 + tip made it a popular food for college students to split. When I gave up horses I took up video games. Since then I found I really do like video games. Which is fine… unless I sit at a desk all day, play video games all evening, and live on the drive through, and then it’s not so fine. Add Depo to that and add mild undiagnosed depression + a higher rate of weight gain. Add in my favorite grandmothers death and my mother going through a triple bi-pass. THEN I took control! I lost 70 lbs. I was a woman on a mission. I got of depo, I busted my *** every day, I started to love exercise. Then I got a promotion… that wasn’t the promotion I expected. I was miserable. I would be called at all hours and told how I needed to give up my life, and how being anywhere at anytime without my phone was unacceptable. When on call we wouldn’t get any sleep because our phones would go berserk. NO one wanted to train me, but they expected me to know everything. For the first time in my entire life I was getting horrid reviews. I quit exercising. I went back to living through the drive through and eating out. I became really depressed, and didn’t know it. I gained it all back + 20 – 30. I went to my Dr because I never felt good and found out my health (which had never had any problems whatsoever before) had started declining. My normal bloodwork wasn’t so normal. I had high BP and she more or less wanted to send me to a bariatric surgeon. It scared the crap out of me that I’d gotten that out of control.

SOOO here I am and that’s how I gained the weight. Most of it was a lifestyle change that wasn’t for the better, laziness, excuses, and completely ignoring what was right in front of me. I also have a fiancÚ who loves me EXACTLY as I am. His favorite phrase is I love you how you are and however you want to be. It doesn’t help the motivation, but it’s a quality I love about him.

So far I’ve lost 55 lbs.. and now I’m on a mission to lose another 100. It’s slow going, but I’m trying to stay conscious about allll the things that got me to the 310 mark to begin with.

03-22-2011, 01:24 PM
I was living the dream last summer.

I lived at our summer property in beautiful BC and had Bailey's in my coffee every morning, drank beer and coolers all afternoon while out boating. I ate a Costco size bag of Ruffles EVERY weekend. I ate BBQ burgers, hotdogs, potato salad ~ like I said ~ living the dream!

It caught up. I gained 20 pounds from May to September of last year. I never noticed as I was living in a swimsuit and "camping clothes". Nothing but yoga pants fit me. I was shocked when I jumped on the scale in September. I have a closet full of fantastic clothes from a shopping spree in Vegas last May. It sucks. But, I'm winning!

This summer will be different ~ I promise!

03-22-2011, 01:33 PM
Mine felt like it happened over night. I gave birth to my son in august 2007, and the following may, i wanted to wear something nice for my birthday and i realised i was still wearing alot of my maternity clothes. I went shopping for something new, and realised that the size i thought i was was actually 3 sizes too small. it was like a slap in the face, how had i not seen it? how had i not noticed? why didnt anyone tell me?

I went on to lose and gain the same 20lbs a few times over the next 3.5 years. and here i am, more determined and serious than before.

cajun moma
03-22-2011, 01:35 PM
After each of my three kids I would drop my baby weight (30-35 lbs.) at first. Then it was like I'd gradually gain that exact amount back, like my body was saying OH NO YOU DON'T. With my first baby I didn't notice much, but with baby 2 & 3 I was painfully aware. I tryed lots of diets and nothing seem to work and honestly I gave up for a while because I was so overwhelmed. I'm in a much better place mentally now and I really believe I can shed these pounds.

03-22-2011, 01:38 PM
My first 20-30lbs (moving me from the high end of a healthy BMI into overweight) was sort of a perfect storm of bad choices. I used to be a college athelete and I couldn't play on the soccer team my senior year and was just so busy that I stopped working out. Then I started dating a guy who just ate 100% junk food and loved taking me out to eat. I eventually broke up with him and met DH but I never really got down to a healthy BMI again even though I lost some weight. Then I got pregnant with DD and gained 65lbs! :o Some obviously came off initially but then I gained some of that back (that was a pretty slow gain but it wasn't a huge one).

So for me it was *mostly* pretty quick gains over relatively short periods of time when I wasn't paying enough attention to what I eat and working out.

I guess it just goes to show that when I reach maintenance I just really need to keep a close eye on my habits AT ALL TIMES!

03-22-2011, 01:43 PM
I've never NOT been heavy (literally, since puberty I've been big), so to me, it was just what I WAS. Didn't "notice" it one way or another, since it was just my reality.

03-22-2011, 01:57 PM
I was happy with my weight when I was 5'4, 150 lbs at age 20. I could have looked better if I lost 10 lbs, but I felt pretty good.

Then, I got pregnant with my first child. I was about 180 pp & then hovered around 185 - 190 for four years. Then, gained about 10 - 15 lbs with each kid after that.

I have only gained during pregnancy. I have so much trouble losing the baby weight. It's like my body resets at the post partum weight. If I eat when I'm hungry, stop when I'm full and am moderately active, I don't gain or lose. When, I start to diet (any diet), once I lose about 10 lbs, I get ravenous and gain the 10 lbs back.

03-22-2011, 02:22 PM
I've never NOT been heavy (literally, since puberty I've been big), so to me, it was just what I WAS. Didn't "notice" it one way or another, since it was just my reality.

Change "puberty" to "infancy" and this is me to a T. There was nothing to compare myself to, I had always been fat. (Even when I was a pretty acceptable size 14 in high school I FELT like I was morbidly obese.)

I did have a huge gain at 18 when I first got married, up to my highest of 267, but I don't remember noticing it while it was happening. Elastic waist pants and the style of huge shirts. . .yeah.

03-22-2011, 02:52 PM
I've always been heavy, since childhood. The thing is I was proportioned well and my fat was evenly distributed throughout my body. I was always the 'cute chunky girl' with the 'pretty face' that would be 'prettier if I just lost some pounds'. Anyway, I got married and a year later we had September 11th and then my brother passed away from AIDS a month later. I think I just went into a deep, deep depression. I gained weight to an extreme. I think I might of got into the 280s. Not sure because I never weighed myself.

I did lose some weight, but not intentionally, I think as my depression got better I stopped eating as much and moving around after I started working again (you can't sit still in daycare lol). But I remained in the 260s until now that I've started my new lifestyle. It's been a change because I think mentally at some point in my life I just resigned myself to being fat and never really challenged it fully until now.

03-22-2011, 03:03 PM
I was always big. Even as an active kid, I was never not heavy. I did lose weight during my freshman year of high school and kept (most of) it off, staying at a reasonable weight until I graduated. Lost weight for college, then gained weight during college. Then yoyoed for the rest of my life. I'd gain 20 lbs, lose 30, then gain it back. So it never really crept up. I'd gain a LOT or lose a LOT at a time.

03-22-2011, 03:14 PM
I noticed, because it was very dramatic. As an adult, I pretty much weighed between 150-170 and was always fighting to get to 135. Then a few weeks after my 30th birthday I took a job that required travel with all weekday meals now in restaurants or fast-food. I gained 50 lbs in less than 6 months and remember thinking that a person couldn't really gain weight that fast without being pregnant. And then over the next 8 months packing on 50 more. Which I then carried around for the next 20 years. Twice before I've lost 30 lbs and slooowly put it back.

03-22-2011, 03:28 PM
Thanks for sharing ladies. LaMariposa and tsuninight I'm sorry for your losses. Its amazing how much birth control throws our bodies out of whack, seems like a common issue. I also have to factor in that when I was in my middle and high school days I danced, and taught as a student aid in dance classes, did theater, and even one year rotc. I was so active and then I went to college, hated it, hated the whole process, didn't fit in, my family had picked up and moved away and usually at 1 meal a day so when I did eat it I stuffed myself, and was also eating as entertainment. So I was wrapped up in other things that I just didn't think about it.

03-22-2011, 03:35 PM
HAH yeah. I learned as much as I don't like dealing with TOM, it's not worth what happens with DEPO. It screws my body up something good... and I have had girly problems my entire life, so I don't need help in that area.

I found that for me Yaz is by far the best option. YES it means one extra pill a day, but if I don't take it I am super out of whack (I have PCOS), to the point where my DR thinks it's a problem. BC fixes it. It also keeps my skin clear.

Thanks for the kind words regarding my grandmother. She had a great life, and even chose when she died (well to some extent). It's just hard on ppl to lose those they love... I think it would be odd to some extent if it wasn't.

03-22-2011, 03:38 PM
The timing of your question is freakish. I just posted something over on the maintainers board similar to what you are saying. Here is my theory ---

I am currently dealing with phantom fat. When I look in the mirror I see myself just as fat as I was 30 pounds ago. My "fat brain" is not catching up to my "thinner body". But in the past, I would lose a significant amount of weight and then it seemed like just overnight I gained it back. I wonder if my brain did the opposite of what it is doing now. For instance, my clothes were getting tighter and I was going up in size but my "thin brain" was not catching up to my "fat body". And then one morning I woke up and reality hit me like a ton of bricks!

For me, I think that explains why I let it happen. Overindulging in fatty food and not exercising is how it happened.

03-22-2011, 03:38 PM
In a very real sense I "dieted" my way to nearly 400 lbs, starting at 5 years old. I was put on my first diet in kindergarten. I was chubby, but I really think I would have reached and maintained a reasonable (even if a little chubby) weight if I had never been exposed to "dieting."

In the mid 90's at about 350 lbs, I encountered the theory that dieting is the major cause of weight gain, and that if you give up dieting your weight will stabilize. So I gave up dieting.

I gained about 10 lbs, and then stopped gaining. All of my life, I'd either been rapidly gaining or rapidly losing (although the gains were far more rapid than the losing). Also at this time though I was put on birth control for the first time. I was desperate to treat my PMDD because doctors had been telling me for years that if I went on bc, I'd probably gain weight. The combination of not dieting, and hormonal adjustment (because the week I had the most trouble not gaining was TOM/PMS because of rabid hunger "that week").

For almost four blissful years I didn't gain a pound (how I wish I had discovered "not dieting" and birth control in puberty, I might have never exceeded 200 lbs).

Then I herniated a disc in my back and had to lose weight and strengthen my back muscles in order to (hopefully) avoid back surgery.

I avoided the back surgery, but getting back on the diet rollercoaster added 20 lbs. I got off the rollercoaster and my weight stabilized again at 370 lbs. Then I met my husband and like almost every bride-to-be decided that I needed to diet for the wedding. About six to seven months before the wedding, I joined WW with my mother. She lost 60 lbs for my wedding and I gained almost 25.

Traditional dieting doesn't work for me. It drives my hunger to insane proportions, which is why I call it "rabid" hunger. I literally can feel like I'm "starving to death" when my stomach is full to bursting.

Now I understand why. The low-carb literature discribes it very well. Even opposing scientists don't argue the most important part of the equation (to me) that insulin triggers hunger.

Insulin resistance means you have tons of insulin in your blood, but your cells aren't responding to it.

I dated a boy in high school who was type I diabetic. To lose weight, he would deliberately short-change his insulin dose just a bit over several days. Periodically, he would skip his insulin dose, so that his blood sugar would drop low-enough that he could binge. It was stupid. He knew it at the time, but the "diet mentality" is difficult to break once it's taken hold of your mind. You become addicted to the weight loss "high."

When I "accidentally" lost 20 lbs after sleep apnea treatment (my doctor told me I'd lose some weight without trying after using the cpap for a while. I literally thought he was insane, as I'd never lost so much as a single pound in my entire life without trying). Turns out he was right.

Wow did that create a dilemma for me. I was so disabled with obesity and inactivity that I needed to lose weight to have any quality of life, but I had never in my life been able to lose weight without rabid hunger eventually driving me to regain.

Aside from birth control, low-carb eating and keeping hunger under control (even if it means only losing 1 lb a month), has been the "secret" to success for me.

To do it, I had to unlearn almost everything I thought I knew about weight loss, including my definition of success. I was losing far slower than I had been at every quitting point in the past. Every diet I ever quit in the past because I was "failing" (losing too slow), I was losing far faster than I am now. I guess that means I've "failed" off 88 lbs. If only I had realized in the past, that I could lose all the weight I needed to at the "failure" level.

It's tempting to say that the failure was all in my head, but it wasn't. One of the reasons I would often quit Weight Watchers was the shame of constantly being given "consolation" for slow weight loss. If I lost "only" one pound, the weight recorder would ask me if I knew what I'd done wrong that week, or would wish me "better luck" next week. Even they didn't see "one pound" as success for me. It wasn't only me labeling me a failure for losing weight slowly. Most of my life, I had doctors who saw anything less than 20 lbs a month as "too slow" wieght loss for me.

My current doctor "set me straight," when I complained that I was losing only 1 lb a month, and should be losing "at least two pounds like normal people."

My doctor told me I was being ridiculous, that there is no such "normal." Most people give up, so even 1 lb per month was putting me in the front of the pack, not trailing behind. Even losing 1 lb a month is tremendous success.

All the members of my TOPS (taking off pounds sensibly, a non-profit weight loss group) chapter also agree. At every meeting, we go around the table and announce our loss or gain for the week (most groups just say whether they've lossed, gained, or stayed the same - in our group we also share the amount). Losses and turtles (staying the same) are all applauded, gains are met with "we're glad you came," (not "what did you do wrong?")

Redefining success has made success possible.

Nola Celeste
03-22-2011, 04:25 PM
I've gained weight and lost it a few times in my life, and every time I gained, I was oblivious.

I was a skinny kid. Around age 10-11ish, I started putting on weight because I no longer had as much desire to go run and play; there was no physical activity to replace what I'd gotten, and combined with lax eating habits (stuffing my hand in a bag of cheetos while reading a book), I gained. Lost it in high school when I became more conscious of my appearance and more active again (going with friends to the French Quarter, taking the bus and walking to visit my boyfriend).

Gained again when I left college and was no longer walking between classes. Went to Jenny Craig and dropped about 70 pounds, which I kept off for years thanks to working retail and running my butt off (literally) in my store.

The big weight gain happened when I stopped working retail and got a desk job. I gained 60 pounds in a year. You'd think I'd have put the brakes on, but nah--I just didn't think about it much. I felt unhappy about it when I looked down at myself, but I solved that problem by not looking down.

Saef described it brilliantly as feeling like " a head in a jar"--I wasn't fat, because the "I" that I was existed from the neck up. My body? That was just the cumbersome thing that supported me, that I had to drag through life because no one had yet invented robot bodies. Besides, my body did everything I asked it to do, so why worry about it? It didn't hold me back from having a love life, going out with friends, holding down a job, any of the important stuff, I figured (meanwhile, a part of me was thinking, "you can barely recognize yourself in the mirror any more and you can't walk half a mile without getting out of breath--who are you kidding?").

I'm now 41 and I refuse to be oblivious any more or to silence the voice that tells me that all of me--my head and my body--deserves my attention and care. It does matter to me that I look my best. It does matter to me that I accomplish daily tasks without pain or discomfort. It does matter to me that my hips no longer touch the sides of the tub when I bathe.

Is it weird to say that I actually enjoy this process? I'm liking the fact that I can move our big coffee table out of the way so I can vacuum under it. I'm liking the fact that I can vacuum without my back yelling at me. I love taking walks with my husband. I love looking at myself in the mirror already and I'm only thirtyish pounds down. There've been times of struggle, but overall, this is actually FUN.

Whew, didn't mean to write a novel there. I guess I had a lot to say on the subject. I love this thread, though, and find the posts on it fascinating.

03-22-2011, 05:24 PM
Both? I've been heavy most of my life. I did WW with my mom when I was 13 and was down to a healthy weight. At 13, I tore a ligament in my right ankle and was either A) in pain or B) on crutches until I was 14. Plus, I was diagnosed with PCOS at that time, so the combo of suddenly being totally inactive AND having hormone issues caused me to gain weight.

14 to 16, I did ok weight wise. Mostly stable, but still heavy. I started battling depression at 16 and my best friend and I built our entire relationship around food. I put on another 20lbs.

In college, it was mainly a slow, steady gain. I put on forty lbs. in three years (I JUST did that math....holy moly!), but that pretty much just translated to buying just slightly bigger clothes every time I had to go shopping. When you're already a size 18, 40lbs really is only two sizes gained...its easy to just fool yourself with "brands differ" and "i'm just bloated" for a long time.

03-22-2011, 05:27 PM
Nothing to add to the thread, I just wanted to say - tsuninight I love your avatar!!

03-22-2011, 05:32 PM
HAH! thanks

03-22-2011, 05:40 PM
You said you're a gamer, is that one that you play? I got the most recent version on my 360 and it is seriously addicting!

03-22-2011, 05:44 PM
We havne't gotten Portal 2 yet. But yeah Portal one was halarious. I had my GPS set up so it was GLaDOS talking to me.... but she monologed too much so I had to turn it back to the brittish guy. lol

03-22-2011, 09:08 PM
I've always been on the heavy side, but I didn't really notice my weight gain until my mom sent my some pictures of me and my husband. I knew that I was an emotional eater. I would always eat when I was stressed out and my new job was definately doing that. When I quit it was a blessing in disguse because I was no longer stressed and I didn't have any more excuses. I've lost more weight now than I did the first time and I have 27 more pounds to go before I get to wONEderland! That will be the first time I've been under 200 lbs since I can't remember when!

03-23-2011, 02:38 AM
I was always a chubby-ish kid, and by high school I'm not sure how much I weighed but I remember wearing a size 13 and thinking it was ginormous. (Much of this had to do with the fact that all my friends were size 3s and 5s). I was really active though...I was a cheerleader, I played goofy football games with the neighborhood boys -- so I sort of maintained until college.

That's when I discovered drinking and late night burger and pizza runs. I was just eating like crap and the word "exercise" totally fell out of my vocabulary. By 21 I was out on my own, and the drinking continued but my roommate and I were broke so we survived on salads she'd bring home from her waitressing gig. Rolling Rock and lots of vegetables brought me down to about 135. Breakfast of champions, right?

I'd say the slow upward climb started in my mid-20s. I was still partying a lot, eating late at night, or doing the nothing all day then a huge meal for dinner thing. By the time I divorced and met my current boyfriend I think I was up to about 220, the weight I moved out to CA at 10 years ago.

From there it was just very slow and steady...5 lbs here, 10 there...a year of maintaining then an 8 lb gain the next. This was "new relationship" weight -- going out to dinner, bottles of wine, late night post-coital runs for fast food (romantic, right? :) lol). I wasn't a big eater or an emotional eater...I'm still not. I just ate all the wrong things at the wrong times of day, and I never, ever exercised.

I finally got the big b*tchslap into reality when I teetered over the edge of 300 to 309 lbs. I remember that day, and just wondering what and how and why and when I got that way. I took off maybe 30 lbs, a loss which I maintained, and then my father passed in November of 2010.

Amidst all the heartbreak, I had the moment where I realized that walking around at 280 lbs was no way to honor his life or mine. And honestly? I just wanted to stop caring and crawl into a hole and not even deal with it. I made that a non-option and depending on the time of day and the scale (hah!), I'm down 50 lbs. I'm hoping this time is for real and what finally needed to click clicked.

I'm loving reading everyone's stories. Please keep them coming.

G'nite, chicks :)

03-23-2011, 03:35 AM
Mine was a combination of not knowing how to eat healthy, a lot of soda, fast food, eating out for most meals, high stress job and not working out. Also I have a lot of parental/grandparent issues.. I was told I was fat when I wasn't and it lead to some serious body-image issues. I literally became that fat girl they kept telling me I was. I weighed 120-130 in high school but I thought I was the fattest person on the earth because they kept telling me I was. :( It was pretty terrible. Looking back on my school pictures I really wish I could go back in time and help my "former" self.

Jo Kittibuck
03-23-2011, 10:05 AM
I've always been the kind of person who loved food, loved grease, and preferred real coke over diet. Why would anyone settle for less than the good stuff, I thought. I didn't start gaining until halfway through high school when I quit dancing. The exercise had staved it off, but once that was gone, up I went to 190. I kept myself content by thinking "at least I'm not as fat as some of my friends".

In college I naturally gained the freshmen 15. But once I dropped out, that was when things started getting really bad. I realized I had a problem. I tried to diet, struggled, gave up, and then rationalized that even though I ate huge amounts of fattening food, at least I was "happy". Then I'd gain and get unhappy, and the cycle started again.

Looking back at the things I used to eat, it's completely understandable that I gained so quickly. I mean, I'd binge on the equivalent of 1 1/2 large Dominos pizzas and a full 2 liter of real coke, everyday, sometimes with candy thrown in. "Treat" days included a large bag of Doritos and chocolate pb ice cream slathered in toppings.

But I take comfort in knowing that I'll never be that person again. Now that I'm far too aware of what calories are in foods, I could never let myself go that crazy again.

03-23-2011, 10:10 AM
When I was about 7 years old, my dad won his weight in celebration chocolates (he's a heavy man!) and I came home from school to find about 20 boxes of them on my bed! Then - we noticed they all expired in 1 weeks time, so we complained and they sent us ANOTHER load and told us to keep the others! So we had over 400lbs of chocolate all over our house and obviously I ate it (except the yucky ones like bounty!) and from there I just got bigger until I was 15 and finally decided to do something about it :)

03-23-2011, 10:12 AM
My weight gain was slow and steady and I was aware for most of the gain until around 280-300. I was a chubby kid with very poor eating habits and a mother who couldn't say "no." I'd take pieces of bread and slather them with butter and add sliced cheese for a snack or make a ramen cup and add butter to it. I had such disgusting habits for a kid and no one to tell me it was wrong.

In high school I trimmed down to 160 or so, normal for my height, but always felt fat still. I starved myself regularly and on a few occasions fainted at school because of starvation. Family issues lead to depression, which lead to me dropping out of high school. I slowly began gaining weight from that point.

I began dating an old friend around age 22 and we'd go on the most unhealthy dates ever. We'd have pizza and cheesecake and watch movies or play video games. I can't remember one single date where we ate healthy food or did something active. My weight ballooned while I was with him. After ending that relationship I was quite down for a while and my weight climbed even more.

I finally decided enough was enough and I want to actually enjoy my life so that's what kicked me in the butt to get me going. :D

03-23-2011, 10:34 AM
Around puberty, I started having problems with my weight. I believe that was the beginning of my hormone issues. However, I was able to keep that weight around 175-180 for years. Then, in 2004, my Mom passed from ovarian cancer. Within 10 months, I gained 45 pounds. IThen, in fall of 2005, I opted to have a full hysterectomy. Within a year, I shot up to 265 pounds. So, in less than two years, I gained 85 pounds!

03-23-2011, 11:29 AM
hi everyone im relatively new to this site and just thought i would add my reason for the weight gain, like a lot of women mine is down to having a baby, ive just had my 3rd and with all 3 ive had a condition called SPD which renders me sofa bound for months, so all did was comfort eat for months trying to forget the pain i was in, now ive had my baby though im left with the pounds i gained and im struggling to get it off again!:dizzy:

03-23-2011, 12:26 PM
I was always a good weight until my 40s then with a new long commute, going from working out at least five days a week to once or none, I slowly gained ten pounds every year, adding up to 100. I think I was too busy with work to notice, I would just occasionally move up a size in clothing, get used to the new "norm" and continue.

03-23-2011, 12:48 PM
I was always the tall kid with a size 12 shoe (now I'm the tall woman with the size 12 shoe) but I got my first job in high school working part-time at the local movie theater. All the popcorn and soda I could eat! We had to pay for candy, though. I remember having to "babysit" a film (cause it kept breaking in one or two spots) and my boss would get me some taco bell nachos to keep me entertained! With this new-found job, came a car, and driver's license and my friends and I would hit up the fast food joints. After the theater, I changed jobs, started delivering pizza for a pretty famous chain (rhymes with "hound cable") and I could get a pizza on my break and make it anyway I wanted for less than $1.00...

I'd definitely say that made me pack on a few pounds...

More recently, I've been married to a foodie who loved me no matter my size, so I pretty much stayed obese except one time when I was 23 I got down to about 205, hit a plateau--gained it all back. Then, I had a job I couldn't stand; coupled with financial problems and I was depressed. Using food to cope. I'd say that is how I packed on the final 25lbs or so...

03-23-2011, 05:21 PM
I've thought about my weight gain in chunks, but never as a whole story. This is an interesting exercise for me!

I was always a skinny kid, come from a skinny family (I was the shortest and heaviest at 5'6" and 125 lbs) and was always pretty active. Until the summer between 8th and 9th grade I can honestly say that I never thought about my weight or my health. I was a kid and it was what it was. But then, during the summer between 8th and 9th grade I was raped by a boy I went to school with. I never told anyone until after I got married, so I lived with this secret for a number of years. I remember feeling unsafe in my own skin.

I don't remember making a conscious decision to gain weight, but I turned to whatever brought me comfort and safety whether that be food, drugs, sex (that's a weird one, I realize, but it was part of the self destructive cycle.) I moved away from home about 6 months later (due to all of the drugs and sex), I was 14 years old at this point and weighed around 140 or so. When I got to the new home I was staying at (with some extended family members) I was put on a weight loss program. I remember thinking "WTH!? I don't need to lose weight, but if these people say I do then I must be fat." And so it began. I started eating differently. Well, I think I started thinking about eating, truthfully. Before I just ate because it was dinnertime or I was hungry. Now I started focusing on food. I wasn't involved in any sports anymore and so the pounds started coming on. Not at an alarming rate, but I weighed around 165 by the time I was 16.

I started dating my husband about then and we would go out a lot. We'd eat out nearly every day, whatever we wanted and in whatever quantity we wanted. I weighed 183 when I got married at 18 years old.
After that, the pounds really started packing on. We ate out even more, we would have junk food fests (we still do this sometimes, to be honest!), and I ballooned up to 225 in our first year of marriage. It was about this time that I started to realize that attention from men was decreasing dramatically. Ever since I was raped I had a fear of men. I didn't like to be touched by a man that wasn't my husband... ever. Hugs would send me into a panic, I didn't like it when they even touched my arm or patted me on the back, it would give me the shivers and I would shy away. When I realized that it had all but disappeared since I gained weight, I knew I had finally found a safety net. Something that would always protect me from horrible men even when my husband wasn't around... fat. So I gained and gained and gained, all the way up to 265 lbs. I was fat, and miserable.

Then, in 2007, with some good counseling and a great support group of women I was able to let my guard down a little and lose down to 197. Then, 2 kids in 2 years (including bedrest) took care of that and I found myself back at 273 and now I'm losing again.

This is a long post, but there's something more I feel compelled to share, the reason I know that my weight loss is for good this time. (Except for pregnancy blips.) At 27 years old, 13 years after I was raped, I no longer feel the need for a layer of protection on my body. Last year I was finally able to forgive the boy who raped me. Truly, completely forgive him. I genuinely wish him well and want good things for him in his life. I will never forget what happened, but it no longer owns me. It no longer identifies me. And it no longer dictates my actions, feelings, or worth.

03-23-2011, 08:54 PM
Wow Gale you have such a story, I am so happy that you have been able to find peace.

All you ladies are amazing whether you know it or not. I also am finding that some of your stories are actually reminding me of this I used to do to. Like me and my hubs before we got married also ate out all the time! Because I didn't have a home at the time I moved a lot and had places I would stay at, but not really a home. Not so much anyways.

03-24-2011, 05:04 AM
I know what you are thinking food and being sedentary. What I really mean is, as you were gaining weight did you notice from the moment it started? Were you aware of the pounds, as they were increasing? Or were you more like me who was kind of oblivious? I feel like the pounds came slow and steady, but when I realized I was fat it felt like it happened over night as opposed to the slow climb it really was. So how did it happen for you?

Pretty much exactly like that.
What I find hard to understand is that twice already I've lost significant amounts of weight - in my 20s I lost about 50lbs, and got down to goal; in my late 40s I lost over 100lbs and got to within 16 of goal - and yet here I am again - lost just over 50lbs, with 50lbs to go to goal.

I loved being slim or slimmer so much! that having put it back on twice baffles me but I do remember the first time, noticing I'd gained about 20lbs, and actually preferring it - my personality didn't seem to fit a thin body. I have absolutely no remembrance of being aware of gaining the next 80lbs, although I do remember the last 20+ as I soared over the 200 to 242.

The second time, I loved the weight I'd got to but did intend to lose the final 16. I lost most of that weight through conscious eating, which had become absolutely second nature. I suppose I began making less conscious and worse choices. I do not remember a single pound of that going on, and I regained 89. One morning, I was fat. :dizzy:

03-24-2011, 09:22 AM
Nothing to add to the thread, I just wanted to say - tsuninight I love your avatar!!

I REALLY want to play Portal now. Really.

I don't remember if I replied to this thread or not. But I will again, since I'm here. I was also kind of aware of the weight I was gaining. Noticed my pants were getting tighter, then going up a size and then THOSE getting tighter. I believe I was aware of what I was doing to myself, but I also think that being on the Pill had something to do with my PCOS. I really just want to lose the weight and be done with it. Live a healthy lifestyle and put the condition behind me.

03-24-2011, 12:08 PM
I was always at a healthy weight until I met my husband, then gained 30 pounds. It totally sneaked up on me and I remember the moment I realized it. I was laying in the bathtub, which I hadn't done in a year, and looked down at my stomach and though, "oh s***". Ha. :-/

beautiful days
03-24-2011, 09:15 PM
Saef described it brilliantly as feeling like " a head in a jar"--I wasn't fat, because the "I" that I was existed from the neck up. My body? That was just the cumbersome thing that supported me, that I had to drag through life because no one had yet invented robot bodies. Besides, my body did everything I asked it to do, so why worry about it? It didn't hold me back from having a love life, going out with friends, holding down a job, any of the important stuff, I figured (meanwhile, a part of me was thinking, "you can barely recognize yourself in the mirror any more and you can't walk half a mile without getting out of breath--who are you kidding?").

wow, this is exactly how i feel right now. for me, i started gaining weight around puberty, thinned out in high school, then gained 120ish pounds after. i'm 5'11" and in high school i was always the biggest one out of my incredibly tiny friends, i felt so gross and nasty and i was only 180ish pounds and almost 6 feet tall. i wasn't skinny but i surely wasn't fat and i felt like i weighed 300 pounds, so i gained weight until i was 300 plus pounds. but now that i weigh as much as i felt back then, i don't feel like i've gained weight. i need to quit fooling myself though.

errr...sorry for the random ramble, and all my grammatical errors.

03-24-2011, 11:47 PM
I always weighed between 150 and 165 in high school and college, but I felt HUGE and I had all kinds of eating issues like binging and purging and starving. Maintained in my twenties between 145 and 175 and then stupidly packed on an extra fifteen pounds during my first year of marriage. Got pregnant and 190, ended up at 230 and then it was just up, up. up, after that.

03-25-2011, 12:33 AM
i was always chunky growing up. and the older i got the heavier i got. i had a hard time losing weight, so they did a thyroid test and nothing wrong there. finally when i was in my early 20s i went to my ob/gyn and got the official diagnosis of PCOS. it's been a battle just to maintain a weight, even a high one. i've fluxed between 270 and 290 for years.

i'm hoping to get that weight down and gone and keep it off, though i'll probably end up gaining it all back during pregnancy. we'll see.

03-25-2011, 11:38 PM
I was always chubby since early elementary school. The summer before 6th grade my mom signed me (and herself) up for Jenny Craig. I remember them saying I should be 113 pounds and my mom being horrified. I have no idea how much I actually weighed or how much I lost, but I know I was pretty thin in my 6th grade picture. I slowly have gained ever since then, with the biggest chunks during college and in the first & last years of my marriage. I haven't ever lost any (more than 5 lbs) except for a 9-day "cleanse" about 6 years ago - I lost 17 lbs. I gained it all back over the next year though.

I have been following this plan for 3 weeks now and have been exercising regularly for 4 weeks - the longest I have ever stuck with anything since that Jenny Craig summer. So far, so good.


Nola Celeste
03-25-2011, 11:52 PM

Congratulations on your success with your plan so far! I just had to respond because I, too, was a Jenny Craig alumna. Loved the program, but couldn't begin to afford it now. So I calorie-count. Anyway, just wanted to wish you continued good luck; I've been at this since early November, so it's entirely possible to stick with a program without Jenny. :)

Beautiful Days--

Saef's brilliant; I definitely recommend looking around for more of her posts if you haven't read many of them yet. The "head in a jar" thing resonated so deeply with me that I felt my teeth chatter.

As an aside, you look very like a young Audrey Hepburn in your profile photo, you lucky woman. :)

03-26-2011, 01:10 PM
Well, I was a fairly normal weight, even through my first pregnancy and afterwards went right back to 140 pounds without "doing" anything to lose the baby weight. But then I had a pregnancy loss of a very much wanted baby and the hormones and depression over that got me to the high 160's. I never got back below that again (I was 21-22).

Every time I had a baby after that I went up a little more. After #4 I was over 200. Got back to 168ish by calorie counting and exercise, then got divorced with 4 small (under 7) kids and boom, like that, gained 80 pounds in less than a year from a combination of depression eating and having to rely on the food bank for our meals... lots of day old sheet cakes, cookies, and donuts and nothing remotely nutritious.

And then from 245 thats about when I developed a binge eating problem and got to 278. And stayed there after I remarried and had my last child who was critically ill and in the hospital for 6 weeks and home on monitors and oxygen for 6+ months.

03-26-2011, 03:24 PM
There were a number of reasons that I gained weight. One of the big ones is that I buried my head in the sand and just ignored the weight gain. I really needed to learn the lesson that I have to pay attention to my weight and not let weight creep happen.

03-26-2011, 04:08 PM
Someone said in one of the posts how she gained the weight as a layer of protection against the attention of men. I couldn't agree more completely with this as my own reason. When I was a child I was abused by a family member. Before this I was a string bean, stick thin child. After, I started gaining and gaining. I don't have accurate accounts of my weight over the years. I can only say that I think I was a size 12 when I was in middle school and then a 14 or 16 in high school. I will say this about my body. It has never allowed me to go more than 6 pounds above 200 before alarm bells start ringing (this is regardless of whether I am weighing myself or not).

Several times through the years, I have made attempts at losing the weight. This is usually when I hit the 200 lb marker. In all my experiences I can get to 180, but crossing the threshhold into the 170s is where I always get stuck, give up and gain again. I believe that there was only one instance where I got past this...about 10 years ago.

I feel that now it will be different though. I'm 30 years old, in steady constant therapy for my emotional, trust and self image issues and finally learning the things I do to hurt myself and keep myself trapped in the box of ugly, worthless and unloveable.

I remember someone also said something to the effect of getting their inner child in line. That is exactly what I feel like I'm doing now. I was never really "raised" as a child. I didn't have a lot of love, rules and supervision. So now, in essense I have to raise myself so that I can shed the layer of protection against the outside world and realize that I am worthy and beautiful and deserving of love.

03-26-2011, 04:14 PM
Hi everyone. I'm new here. :) I posted my bio on the intro thread earlier today.

I was thin growing up. Through high school I was 145-160 at 5'8". But I was one of those who always thought I was fat. Mostly due to my mom telling me so. After I graduated high school I put on 20 pounds in the first year. I noticed every single pound and felt horrible about it. I tried to starve it off. Binge and starve and binge and starve. Eventually I worked myself up 245 pounds. In 2009 I managed to get down to 192 which I had not been at since 1998. but then in 2010 I slowly let it all pack back on. I'm so tired of it all. I really want to feel good about myself, look good, know I'm healthy and have lots of energy. I'm happy I found this board! :carrot:


03-28-2011, 08:46 PM
right out of highschool, my husband and I started dating. I think I was roughly 150-155 pounds, size nine, and I looked very nice. I worked out a lot and was good about not eating too much junk, but I ate whatever I wanted. My husband, on the other hand, only eats junk. Mcdonalds every day, coke, candy, pure crap. So I ate what he ate, and slowly balloned up to 190 by the time we got married. My wedding dress didnt fit, because I gained 15 pounds a six months after I ordered my dress. I dont blame him entirely, as I worked 40 hr weeks and was in college full time, so I know that contributed. But a year into our marriage I was 210 pounds. I was in tears, I didnt realize how fat I was, and that none of my clothes fit. I was ashamed. Now was the time to put in the work. I did, for a little while, and only lost 10 pounds. A year later, I went on a restart, and so far, Im doing good, but I feel larger than ever, if that makes any sense.

the kicker to all of this is my husband is not overweight, he is actually underweight. five nine and 120 pounds. ugh.

03-28-2011, 08:51 PM
I wasn't always chubby and was rather "normal" size wise up until my early 20's , i never struggled, never dieted I was oblivious. Then i had children and for some reason I turned to food, i suffered really bad post natal depression and found I could bury my emotions in food. Soon I realised that food and weight let me sit on the sidelines and people stopped seeing me, I became the invisible one. No one talks to the fatty, or asks for advise from the fatty.

Then I would wake up and see myself and Hate myself and go on a diet. I could lose the weight easily! but I would miss being invisible and struggle with life when I felt I had to participate, so I would openly start binging and gain it back.

Thus for 10 years I have been up and down from morbidly obese to underweight many many times.
So its definitely not the food, its the security of the fat and numbing of emotions for me.

This time around I am dealing with the emotions and I am losing weight automatically as I am no longer binging to numb myself.

03-28-2011, 09:09 PM
I was always very fit and in shape until I was 20. I ran 5 miles a day. THEN I was put on lung steriods for a year. In that year I gained 60 lbs. At first I still ran but then I got sick of working out and running and still gaining so much weight. As soon as I got off the lung steriod I got pregnant with my oldest son where I gained 35 more lbs. By that point I had just turned to food to deal. It was not good. I gained the rest of my weight with my youngest where I reached my heighest weight. My breaking point was when I went to Las Vegas this past January. We booked a helicopter ride. I was MORTIFIED when we got there and had to weigh in. I was over the limit and had to pay for another ticket. I started bawling right there. In front of a room full of people. The couple my husband and I went with started whispering. And in that moment I was done. Here I am 2 months later 16 lbs lighter and on my way to the old me.

03-30-2011, 03:46 PM
I was always a LITTLE heavier than the other kids growing up, but it was nothing major--I was somewhere between normal/chubby, nothing too worrisome.

The trouble started in high school, when a bunch of awful things happened in rapid succession--three family members died, a coworker committed suicide, my boyfriend committed suicide, my father was bedridden for a year because of a chronic illness, and my brother ended up in jail. I felt completely alone and like there wasn't a lot worth living for, and started trying to fill the void with food. When nothing else felt good, eating until I felt sick still helped somehow.

The result? Within a few years I went from a size 8 to a size 16. I think somewhere in the back of my mind I was aware of what was happening, but I had way bigger fish to fry so I just never did anything about it. I think my wake up call came when I started having to shop in plus size stores earlier this year--somehow I had managed to stay in "normal stores" until then (thanks in large part to stores that carry a wide variety of sizes, like the Gap and H&M).

I only just started my weight loss journey, but I'm really ready to do this. I think I need to--not just for my health, but because I need to reclaim my life.

03-30-2011, 04:02 PM
Hi all,
I thought this would be a good place to start--to remind myself WHY I'm this way!

I was always bigger in high school (Although I look back at pics now and go--omg!!! U were hot!) but after graduation it got tough. I moved in with my then-boyfriend, then later we were engaged. Gained the boyfriend 15...30...was about 235 when we broke up.

Did some crash dieting and was in a bad, traumatic relationship for about a year, where I actually became the smallest I'd been in a long while--about 180, my hair was falling out, my skin was sallow, it was awful. After I finally got out of the relationship it really got out of hand over the next 3 years. I went from 180 to 250 in about 2 years, then met my son's father, and got pregnant about a year later--then during my pregnancy shot up to my highest ever--290. Lost a bunch during breastfeeding (went down to about 265) then gained it alllll back after I stopped BF.

So I would say my triggers have been bad relationships and being around the wrong people/lack of support. I recently left the relationship and have committed to focusing only on my son and myself for at LEAST a YEAR before I even think about dating again--to get my health, and both of our well-being, on track.

I started my journey in February and have lost 17 pounds already. When I reach my goal of 175, that will be 95 lbs lost--and I'd like to keep going, but for now, I'm shooting for two pounds per week. And trying not to look to far beyond that.

So that's my short, edited story ;)