I have avoided 3fc for a few days now because ive felt ashamed and it hard to explain. I had no idea how much of an emotional struggle this whole process would be. Right now im feeling like this weight is never going to come off and ill never truly feel beautiful. I just really hate this anxiety, especially about food. It takes a lot of effort to prepare healthy foods and when i do eat something not so healthy, i feel like crap. It's getting to the point that i hate meal time because its way too much to think about. I just wanna be able to eat without thinking about all the carbs, fat, calories, fiber, protein and all that stuff. I hate not being around friends and coworkers who can eat anything and not gain a pound. It's really annoying.
ugh!!! I now losing 30 pounds is a big deal, but i still feel like a fat slob. I hate the way i look and i feel like thats all people see. Im just tired of feeling like the fat ugly friend thats ALWAYS single. Im just tired of it all...
I spent this last 2 weeks basically eating what i want when I want and I feel horrible. Will i ever be able to just eat without thinking about how much weight i will gain? Im not sure if i can make it through this process. I'm really trying to get back on track but its really hard. My motivation is drifting away...
I can relate to so much of what you wrote. I don't think anyone can ever really "prepare" for the non-physical aspects of weight loss/lifestyle change, because in a lot of cases the emotional struggles and hurdles are brand new and previously never experienced. I guarantee that dozens of other posters here will chime in and share their stories of feeling the same way.
Losing weight is kind of like moving to a new country. No matter how in love you are with your new life, there are going to be times where you feel homesick and long for the comfort of the "old country," or like you don't fit in or you just want to take a loooooong vacation.
Weight loss and lifestyle change has brought out really dark and scary parts of my psychological being that I didn't even know existed. Depression, binge eating, completely bipolar thoughts about food and body image and everything. Where I stand I am lying on the ground looking at the wagon. I haven't committed to staying off it and I really want to get back on it, but I'm still on the ground.
I know it's hard, and I understand everything you've said, but I just have to keep telling myself...Look, I have a choice...face it, the scale is either going to go up or down. There is no in-between. I won't stay this weight. I will either stick with this and continue losing, or I will start gaining, and gaining...which will make me happy in the long run? I want to eat, but I want to lose weight more. The thought of gaining and getting bigger and then one day having to lose even more weight scares me more than skipping that chocolate donut.
Then you need to try something different. Maybe you need to low carb it. Maybe you need to give yourself one day a week to have a favorite meal day. But find a way to make it work for you.
Will you ever be able to just eat and not think about it? No. No you won't and you've also spoke about your family's diabetes issue. It's all lurking there - and it will be always - like it or not. You can try to deal with it now, wait to get sick before doing something, or die young because you found it too hard. It's your choice.
But just know, every day that you don't come here or to a WW meeting - or whatever it is that keeps you accountable, you are giving the power away to cravings and bad habits.
This is a forever change... so try to make it something that you can maintain. If you are pushing yourself too hard, ease up a bit, this is not a race. You lost 30 pounds REALLY fast... maybe your next 30 will take twice as long, but it's still going in the right direction. maybe instead of eating 1300 calories (or whatever it is you gave yourself), make it 100 more, or 200 more. Or instead of going to the gym for 2 hours a day, make it 1 hour a day, or 2 hours every other day, or whatever you can live with and maintain.
You get to make the rules. I bet you didn't gain 30 lbs in 2 months. Then why do you think you should have to take it all off in 2 months too?
I'm rooting for you - now it's your turn to start cheerleading yourself.
First off, I have to say it is really great that you made it 30 lbs into your weight-loss before hitting a wall. It only took me around 10-15 lbs before I felt exactly how you are feeling, so kudos for pushing strong.
It has taken me 2 years to lose around 50-60 lbs, and I can promise you that your body WILL change. You will eventually realize that every once in a while you really can eat whatever you want without counting the calories all the time. You just have to teach your body how to work properly, you know?
I have days where I just pig out now. It really helps to do that every once in a while to get rid of those cravings. I mean really, counting every calorie and keeping ourselves from eating what we really want almost NEVER turns out well. Just allow yourself to eat a little 'treat' once in a while. If you deprive yourself, you'll hit a wall like this quite often. Be gentle with yourself!
Others have given you great advice, but here's another. Can you learn to love cooking healthy food? Take a cooking class with a friend? I personally would die on Weight Watchers, Atkins, etc.. I have grown to love finding and creating healthy, delicious recipes and I couldn't imagine giving up certain foods or buying pre-packaged foods. I know it takes a lot of time, but I love going to farmer's markets and the grocery store to pick out beautiful vegetables and wholesome ingredients and making yummy banana-bran muffins, Thai vegetable stir fries, roasted red pepper soup, pumpkin bread... I LOVE food and for me spending time preparing it is time consuming but very enjoyable and pleasurable. Baking muffins while listening to NPR is one of the happiest ways I could spend a Sunday afternoon (nerd I know )
This may not be how you feel, but it's just an option- to find the pleasurable parts of health and nutrition and to enjoy it. What's most important is you find what works for you, whether it's calorie counting, WW, low carb, etc. You can totally do this, and we are all here to support you!
MzJuicy, you've done a great job so far! Our statistics are very similar. You have proven you can do this - you've taken off 30 pounds. So you've had a few off weeks? Just push the memory of them off your mind. So you're not at the size you want to be yet - push that off your mind. Focus on what you've been doing right. Start fresh again tonight.
If counting calories is frustrating you, you could switch to another plan. You could also start setting up portioned meals you cook ahead when you have freer time on the weekends - soups, meats and rice frozen together, buying a roast chicken/turkey and using that for a few day's dinners in different ways,and buying more bulk canned vegetables to keep around for 'binges'.
Write yourself a letter that you can keep either on you or on the fridge with why it's so important to you to lose the weight. Look at it whenever you feel an urge to overeat. When you're trying to grab a quick lunch at work, steer clear of fast food and instead carry your own. Every single day. If you've got it planned out, you're gonna have a lot harder time deviating from that. You're not gonna want to waste food you've prepared.
Just think - in those 30 pounds you've dropped sizes, you've probably started feeling better physically, you're probably not as winded when walking - focus on all those positive things. Realize that you are doing just fine! You will lose the weight, you will maintain your health, you will feel better about how you fit into clothing and you will be successful!
I do hope you will realize you've been beautiful all along too.
Great advise from everyone and here is another...think in terms of small goals like 5-10 pounds. And celebrate each one with a treat to yourself, haircut, make-up, or spa. I am one of those persons who cannot look at the total pictur when it comes to weight loss. One false turn and then I feel like a failure so I look at small weight loss goals at a time! You can do this!
Just wanted to add about your comment the people who can eat whatever they want and never have to worry about it.
Well, this isn't really true.
My mother in law has been thin all her life - too thin. While she enjoys fresh fruits and veggies, she's also a regular old meat and potato kind of gal. All growing up and her adult years she just ate what she want and did what she wanted. She started to have problems with weight gain around the age of 60. Her way of losing weight is by getting sick and not eating for several weeks, and then she slowly gains it back.
Now, she is still not much overweight. For American standards she's pretty normal (she's European). But, at age 75 she has terrible osteoporosis. She has to take 4 different medications to control her blood pressure, and her blood sugars are boderline high as is her cholesterol and her mind isn't working that great.
Ok, you could say, "She's 75. She's old, so what" Well, she's 75 now. These problems have been creeping in for 15 years. AND if she had always exercised, watched what she ate, and taken better care of herself, she probably wouldn't be dealing with as much of these health issues as she currently is. She didn't pay in being obese, but her overall health isn't great and it's getting worse.
And since she has never had to think about what she puts in her mouth, she cannot even fathom how to do it correctly. She's amazed at my weight loss. She sees me eating. She sees me exercising (as we live under the same roof) and is surprised I'm losing weight. Her idea of weight loss is to just stop eating. and for her, it's stop eating the good meal for the day so she has room for her fruit, juice, sweetened yogurts and chocolate. Shrinking the healthy meal I prepare every day.
So, I look and see what will be for me, but even worse. I'm obese AND was eating poorly and not exercising. I could be dead before reaching 75. I'm glad I'm still young enough (41) to right the wrongs and have the knowledge to do it.
So, being thin, naturally thin doesn't mean you escape from the bad eating habits for life. It catches up with nearly every one eventually.
It is a struggle, but it's one that you (and I [I'm saying this as much for myself as for you]) can overcome.
I'm coming to terms with the fact that this will be a life-long issue for me. I'm trying to break out of unhealthy eating patterns, mainly emotional eating, and I liken it to any other sort of addiction. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other, and when you fall- get back up and keep on going.
We're at about the same starting and current weight; will it help you to have an online buddy?
All of us what to look at losing weight as just a matter of reducing what we eat. This clinical cut and dried approach that seamlessly takes off the pounds without having to consider the emotional aspect.
Unfortunately, emotions/hormones/chemicals, all of those play significant roles in our weight gain and our weight loss. Trying to lose weight without dealing with the underlying problem is akin to trying to cure a cough instead of medicating the cold.
Weight gain is often the symptom of the problem, not the problem itself.
Just realize that you are in this fight for the long haul. Start working on fixing your mind, and getting it to the healthy place that it needs to be. Find a good outlet for this and start pursuing that goal.
You are doing great! Now, continue to make progress for yourself!
I've felt the same things you have. I think it happened to me (maybe to you too) because it's the fight between the old habits and the new habits.
They're in a boxing ring and one of them is going to win. Which one will it be?
The Old Habits used to win more often than the New Habits. But slowly, the New Habits beat the Old Habits out of that ring and even though I still think about protein and fiber and carbs and whatever, I don't mind it.
It's becoming part of my life the way that I brush my teeth or put laundry detergent in the washing machine. I may not WANT to do it, but it's just part of my daily routine.
As you continue to lose weight, you will really begin to see the differences between where you were at 293 and where you will be at 193.
You're almost halfway there -- that's amazing progress! It will get better!!!!
Doesnt Understand why im feelin this way
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