100 lb. Club - What's wrong with me?

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DixC Chix
03-14-2011, 10:05 AM
I have been struggling for the last month. I noticed it when I was trying to get to 220 for Valentine's Day. I noticed but couldn't get over it. I don't know if it was knowing I would fail the challenge or just a general "I don't give a flying ****".

At one point, I kept saying to myself, I'm sick of it, I am sick of it all. I am sick of tracking, I am sick of vegetables, I am sick of lean food products, I am JUST.SICK.OF.IT!!!

I tried to get back at it, but I got sick and then I gave in to being sick and who cares what I eat. I was low on fruits and veggies and then ran out. I used my WW pts on hot toddies, icee pops, cream of wheat, etc - my comfort foods. Then in recovery, I just went whole hog! I could barely keep up with figuring the points and some days I gave up.

I had one good day with exercise and points. Then came the previously arranged lunches out - Indian buffet and large omni-buffet. I did very poorly with my choices and volume. Yesterday, I made chicken noodle soup and ate a nice bowl with TWO bagels and butter!!! This was within a hour of making sandwich rounds pizzas and a fiber bar. I was full and satisfied. But I couldn't not eat the bagels. Ugh!

It has been such a daily struggle and I have been losing the battles.

I am starting again this morning with being on track with food and planned exercise but I again feel iffy and shacky. Part of my mind is planning to make cookies. Part of my mind is shameful for the attitude.

I need guidance, a boost, an attitude adjustment, a kick in the arse - whatever you think is best.

Nola Celeste
03-14-2011, 10:35 AM
No kick in the arse, just a :hug: for you.

I think that after someone has done SO well for SO long, the worst aspects of being at a higher weight recede and it becomes easier to say, "I'm an average size now, why can't I eat like an average person?" Then there's the diminishing thrill of losing, either because your loss has slowed down naturally over time or because four pounds no longer feels as important as it once did. Add to that a list of comfort foods that you (understandably) ate while you were sick, but that left you with a strong desire for more of the same and it's no wonder you're having trouble.

Maybe it's time for a shake-up--a different plan, or very different foods within that plan. Whatever you usually get as your plan-friendly staples, look for other stuff that's got a similar calorie count, but feels/tastes different. Can't choke down another chicken boob? Get turkey, lean pork, and beef. Sick of sandwich rounds? Get wraps, light bread, anything that isn't another sandwich round. Eat cereal for breakfast? Get a completely different kind or go with eggs for a while. Sometimes shaking it up is all you need to get out of the doldrums.

There's nothing shameful about cookies. Cookies taste awesome and it's normal to want awesome-tasting things. The trick is to figure out how much awesomeness you can fit into your plan, fit it, and then stop. Maybe you could buy a single cookie from Mrs. Field's or a local bakery, then satisfy your baking jones by whipping up some homemade bread or pizza dough? That way you'd get the satisfaction of baking and the pleasure of a cookie without the temptation of a whole batch of the things.

Another thing that helps when I get the occasional "oh, why does it matter?" feeling is doing something I couldn't have done when I was at my biggest. Walk a couple of miles, or jog it if you're up to that (I'm not--yet! :D). Sweep and mop the floor without pain. Ride a bike. Try on new clothes at a store you didn't even bother looking at before you lost the weight. Whatever you do, be really, really conscious of how it feels. With 65 pounds lost, I know there's a lot that you can do now that you couldn't do when you started; revel in it. It helps remind you of why it matters.

Your needle slipped the track into its old groove. You just need a little bump to shake it back into the one you were on, I'm sure of it. :)

03-14-2011, 01:20 PM
There's nothing wrong with you! I think it's very human to get sick of the battle and especially to give in to comfort food when ill. In fact I could have written your post. Same thing... got "sick of it all" and then literally got sick for a month and ate a lot stuff and gained a bit. It's hard, but you just gotta keep trying every day, every hour. Eventually on of the 'tries' will stick :)

03-14-2011, 01:40 PM
I'll just say a big old ditto to Nola's post!! And another :hug:...there is nothing wrong with you. You're human, this is a long difficult journey, and you'll take a few twists and turns. Find the path again, forge a new one, you can do it!! Keep posting.

03-14-2011, 01:55 PM
What Nola said, definitely! :D

DixC Chix
03-14-2011, 09:47 PM
Thanks so much. Hugs :hug::hug::hug::hug: back to you for responding.

It was two weeks ago that I thought I had this attitude licked and had a day much like today - all on plan with plenty of exercise. Two weeks ago Wednesday was my fall apart day.

My goal is to just get past this Wednesday ON PLAN with EXERCISE. Three days will be some momentum for me!

I took your advice:

I did not make cookies, etc. - I swept and mopped the kitchen, cleaned the powder room and then read a few chapters on the patio.

I noticed at the gym my t-shirt was too big; I noticed in water aerobics class I could actually touch knees to elbows and my belly wasn't in the way.

I finished off a few of my routine go-to foods today so I am reviving others. I'll try a protein shake pre circuit class tomorrow am.

03-14-2011, 10:41 PM
Hang in there DixC Chix you will make it over this rut. Look @ your numbers, what an inspiration! Kudos to Nola Celeste for being a great cheerleader for a fellow chick!

Nola Celeste
03-14-2011, 11:03 PM
I thought about you and this post, DixC, when I was out walking with my husband. I was getting SO freakin' angry at the people who were passing us by on the jogging track--I mean, seriously so angry that I wanted to start pushing people over as they went by (not that I would DO it, but I relished thinking about it).

I was p'ed off about things like: why can't I eat what I want when clearly these slender people can? Why does that barbecue smell so good? Why has so much effort given me such a small return, fitness-wise? Why did I let myself get to this point in the first place? Basically, it was a pity party and I had issued myself an engraved invitation. Even my husband was like, "Wow, you are an angry little woman, aren't you?"

(It speaks to my state of mind at the time that I was like, "Don't call me 'little,' it rings hollow because I am a great wallowing beast who can't keep up with that pregnant lady over there!" :D).

Anyway, I thought about this post and about someone who had had the wherewithal to lose over double what I have. She was frustrated today too, but she posted about it instead of giving in to it. You--and this whole thread, in fact--helped ease me over my own rough spot.

There's no better advice than that which is worth taking yourself, so I also have clean floors and no cookies now. :D

GO US! :cheer:

Arctic Mama
03-15-2011, 12:26 AM
Anyone who has been on this journey for more than a few months hits this point. I've been going solidly for well over two years now and I've had three separate instances of falling down and wanting to throw in the towel, being angry, and generally giving into my inner two year old.

The trick is not giving up. I go off plan (I'm struggling with staying on right now, it's a fight this week) and have bad days, but I keep trying. I keep logging, even if it is junk. I try again and again the next meal. I DON'T give up, no matter how badly I screw up.

So I've been going since Oct 08, fallen off the horse multiple times, and had all manner of stalls, and yet here I am down a significant amount of weight (from a high of 270) with NO regains of more than a pound or two before I get back on track. We WILL screw up, but it is not giving up and letting that defeat us that makes the difference :)

03-15-2011, 01:19 AM
Great advice on this thread! I've been there! I know how you feel.
Every day is a new day where you can make better choices, so all is not lost. You have already come so far. :)

It helped me to think of all the reasons why I wanted to lose weightin the first place. What are your goals, and why are they important?
Sometimes we just have to go through these phases, and there is nothing wrong with getting off track, as long as you get back on the horse so to speak. Best of luck!

03-15-2011, 01:42 AM
This is a great thread, I have nothing to add cuz all manner of awesomes have been expressed. Just wanted to say you can do it. :D