General chatter - Ever feel like y do i bother?

My issues is about friendships, i feel i have alot of best /close friends but feel they are growing apart. I was unemployed for a long time and could never afford to party, shop , go to expensive gyms etc. But im also in a long term relationship so im in pre-settling down mode, kinda thing my partner and home life is of paramount importance to me.
Lately i just feel like a few certain friendships n getting so much hard work. For example i feel i am the only one enthusiastic about makin plans or doing something (now that im making an effort as im back in work and started my own business) , just things that have happened lately is dropping me in things last min or saing one thing when really meaning another.
Its not enough to make a issue over but sometimes i just feel like i cant properly look forward to something with them as 9 times out of 10 it always falls thru. And then they moan few weeks later when its them that drop out any way.
It just gets to the point where i think y bother? Not as in bother with the friendship but y bother making any plans at all.
Ive always valued my friendships but lately maybe ive seen them for somik there not.or maybe grown out f them? I duno just feels like the efforts gone , another thing that annoys me is being led on , when deep down they have no intention of doing something.
It really is a funny situation, and sometimes we never see each other from one month to the nxt thats y when things dont go ahead its so dissapointing.
Anyone else had this trouble? Maybe its common at my age im 26. But ive never had that one girl friend that u can do and tell anything and spend time with. I feel my partner really is my best friend

Any relationship takes work. Whether it is a romatic or a friendship or even an aquaintance - relationships take work. Maybe your friends feel slighted b/c you weren't able to hang out while you were unemployed or maybe it just is what it is. I've had many friends come and go over the years. Some I thought I would be friends with forever, some I didn't think would stick around at all. I have reconnected with friends I lost touch with.

I had a big shift in friends in my mid-20's (I am 32 now). Friends pairing off, getting married, getting divorced, staying single, dating, having babies, carreers taking off, etc. LOTS of stuff goes on in your 20's and I think sometimes people drift apart or drift closer.

I think it is important to keep working on your friendships while ALSO getting out there and making new ones. Make friends at work, make friends online, join interest groups, meet friends of friends, etc.

I have friends I love dearly who are often just TOO busy to hang out. We just do what we can when we can.

People come and go and grow apart it's just that easy and at the same time it sucks. I feel you're pain tho when that happens to me I just turn around and forget about it and move on doing other things without them. My friend back home was like that, we'd make plans but if something "better" came along she'd drop me like no other. It got to the point I just didn't care anymore and then she came back to me when all her friends did the exact same thing she did to me. We started hanging out a lot more when I stopped calling or texting her, she came around me. So it's that easy you can continue to try and work things through with these friends, or move on and find other people to hang out with.

I feel the same way. Many friends have come and gone. I say everybody comes into your life for a reason and they also leave your life for a reason as well. I just look at it as a new chapter in my life. I know its not easy and can be painful sometimes, but sometimes its what is best for us at the time.

Big :hug:

I've never had much luck with girlfriends. :dunno: I'm so fortunate to have found, and stuck, with my room mate from college and a girl who was right down the hall from us. They remain my two (and only) best friends today, nearly 20 years later. What would I do without them? I have always connected better with men. Always!

And even with these two friends of mine, as dearly as I love them, I have to take them as is. They each have their faults, as do I! They hurt my feelings sometimes. But I get over it and just chock it up to quirks of their personalities. If it's major, we hash it out. That's not usually necessary. Like SCraver said, any relationship worth keeping is worth working on.

You're clearly in a different stage of life than they are. That's hard on a relationship! Typically friends tend to be in the same stage. All single, all marrying, all having babies the same age, all divorcing...that kind of thing. When one does something to throw the balance off, everyone has to adjust and everyone has to be willing to make the adjustment. It's not your wagon to pull ;) They need to do a little of the pulling too.

I think many of us go through this. I had tons of friends in high school, then slightly less in college, and so on. Most of my friends have moved away now and I don't really have a gf I can call up and hang out with anymore (yes it sucks).

Some friendships just died away too- I'd make plans and they kept cancelling so finally I just stopped calling and so did they. Yes I've made more friends through the years but like I said most of them have moved away now. I decided I'm not going to put effort in for people who refuse to do it either. Yes we are all busy and have lives but so am I! If I keep making an effort why can't they? That's my feeling. I don't ask for much for my friends either- a phone call every other month makes me happy!

Maybe it's time to not worry about those friends anymore then. The ones who are good friends WILL call you eventually.