[LightRaven]

Oh it's been a bad day. I mean, a really really bad day.

I started my day off normally, and while preparing my food and snacks for work my mom came down stairs quite early. Apparently our dog had woken her up by throwing up all over her bedroom. She said he wasn't acting right. I went upstairs and was greeted by him as usual, but did notice he was walking funny.

Fast forward, I'm at work (45 mins away from home) and I text my mom to see how Dakota was doing. Apparently he was worse, unable to walk. I offer to come home to help her take him to the vet- He's an 80 lbs, beautiful Blue Merle Australian Shepard. There was no way she could carry him down a flight of stairs and get him into the car. So I rush around work trying to get everything set before everyone else comes in and I can leave.

I get home and he was much worse than she described. Apparently she didn't want me crying and driving. He was immobile, lying on one side, panting very hard, head arched and thrown back, tongue lolling out of his mouth. He destroyed her room, actually broke furniture! when he was trying to get up. It was a horrible. He wasn't responding, wouldn't- couldn't look at us. I grab a comforter and we work to get it under him so we can carry him down the stairs. It was difficult because all he wanted to do was get up, and he ended up thrashing around and knocking us over.

Finally we get him downstairs, and outside, and our neighbor comes out and helps up load him into the car. Our neighbor actually went to the vet with us! (He is very fond of Dakota)

The vet tries giving him valluim (sp) to get him to calm down. To make a long story a little shorter- his bloodwork didn't show anything out of whack aside from some dehydration- and we ended up transporting him all the way to the emergency animal hospital that is 45 mins from us.

When we got there, and I opened the back hatch, Dakota popped his head up and looked at me! He was starting to get better, but still couldn't get up. One of the assistants came out to get Dakota and he was seen by a neurologist. After some tests and a VERY expensive MRI- Dakota has had a stroke.

He is expected to make a good recovery. He might walk a little funny, or maybe not, but he should be mobile soon. Which, we were all very relieved to hear. But this whole ordeal went on for 7 hours. And of course in that time, I didn't have any really food on me. Just a snack in my purse. After bringing my mom home, I had to hop in the car and drive down to S. Philly to get my daughter, who was with her father for the day.. and rush hour traffic, blah blah blah. When I finally got home and ate dinner, I was famished. And I ate dinner. And then I ate seven pieces of chocolate. And it wasn't stupid chocolate that you can get at the drug store and would probably be only like maybe 200 calories or so.. but it was valentines chocolate. 2 are 130 calories. And like a dummy I ate seven.

Things have just really been hard here lately. My grandmother is back in the hospital, she is getting better but was very close to death.. kinda still is. My mom had been laid off from her job of 25 years. (Another long story) And now my moose of a dog has had a stoke! My house is in chaos (and it's making me depressed), work is crazy because we are splitting departments.. I'm heavily relied on there and I know that missing work today really put them in a bad spot... I just feel like the walls are collapsing on me and that stupid chocolate beckoned... "Come eat us! You'll feel better!" And I did. for the whole 10 sections it took me to eat them. And now I just feel uncomfortable and irritated that I ate SEVEN. 1 or 2 could have been sufficient... and not a big deal.

I need a hug. I NEED for life to stop kicking me and my family when we are already down!!!

ugh.. I'm even getting hives from the stress... Stupid stupid crises!

/rant and sorry for the novel.

LR

[TheBunneh]

Please don't beat yourself up! Bad days happen. Slip ups happen. Stress can do so much to us, and you're under a lot of it. Just forget about the chocolate and do what you can every moment forward.

I'm glad your dog will be alright!

[Arctic Mama]

What a rough, awful day! I'm glad Dakota will recover and you have my sympathy with the work issues, mom issues, and grandmother's health issues. As for the eating, be kind to yourself. We all have off days and stress eating, even completely normal, non-food-issue people struggle with that. If you can't use it as an excuse to control one thing in your life right now (which works for some people), then forgive yourself and move on.

[TooManyDimples]

Poor Doggy and poor you. I hope things get better soon. Don't beat yourself up about the chocolate. It's in the past, look forward.

[Hopeful8]

I'm so sorry for you guys and for Dakota, but I'm absolutely thrilled that he's going to be ok. Don't let this get you down or set you back, you just put one foot in front of the other and keep doing what you need to do. We go through these ridiculous emotional waves of ups and downs (I'm also going through a down). All we can do is keep on living and make the best choices possible. Every day or every decision isn't going to be perfect or exactly what we want, but they will make you stronger.

Keep your head up sweetie, we're all here for you anytime you need to rant

[luckymommy]

Can I get in line to give you some hugs too? I really feel for you! You have a tough situation! Just remember...things will get better. They haven't always been this tough and they won't always be. Life is full of lumps and bumps. The chocolate probably didn't cause any real damage since you hadn't eaten much the whole rest of the day. Just get right back on track and you'll be fine. I find that if I can keep my food in control, the rest of my life is so much easier to navigate, since I, too, have had lots of lumps and bumps (and not just on my body ). I'm really glad you came here and shared your day. Sometimes, that alone does wonders. Hugs help too. I'm so glad Dakota is going to be ok. That must have been so scary and mentally draining. Try to do something nice for yourself. Take a hot shower and put lotion on your feet. Take a walk if possible. Tomorrow is a new day. Try to think positive. I really like Daily Affirmations with Louise Hay. You can get one every day. It's kind of like The Secret....where if you keep saying positive things about your life, they actually happen. We can create our own reality to what we want it to be. I hope this isn't too much information!

[Tai]

What a stressful day! Hugs to you that things will get better and in the meanwhile, try and stay strong.

[shannonmb]

THAT is a bad day. Of course your body got really, really hungry while this was going on, and dinner just didn't cut it. You were stretched really, really thin emotionally, and yeah, chocolate happens! Don't even give it a second thought, seriously!

I'm so glad your doggie is going to be okay, but that had to just totally scare the crap out of you, not to mention all the vet bills. Nothing else to offer except more Hang in there, darlin'.

[reptogirl]

please give your dog a hug from me, i am very attached to animals and get very teary eyed when i hear of anything bad. keep your head up, and don't beat yourself up over some chocolate. one slip up isn't going to make or break a diet..

[LightRaven]

Oh thank you everyone for the kind words and thoughts of my moose. (My daughter calls him Mckota McMoose because she couldn't day Dakota as a baby lol )

Late last night we called the hospital to check on him and apparently he was very calm and happy (he has no tail, but "wiggles" his butt) and had been very friendly to the staff at the hospital. This morning my mom called to see how he was. He is starting to walk again! They do want to keep him for another day because he still has to be hoisted up into a standing position in order for him to walk, but it is a huge improvement, and they expect him to get better.

Today so far I have been right on plan- even though work has been really stressful and hectic today. And there was one moment where I felt I wanted to just get up, walk into my boss's office and say "I quit" and walk out. But.. I didn't. crossing my fingers that everything will go alittle bit more smooth for the rest of the day...

Thank you so much! When I get home later I will try to post a picture of Dakota. I can't wait until he comes home!

LR

[asweetchicagogirl1]

HUGS from me as well. I got teary eyed about your dog and am glad he is doing better.

I worry about this happening to me all the time (even though my dog is still a 10 month old puppy) because he is 90+ pounds already and there is no way I could lift him by myself if he couldn't walk.

[jendiet]

hey there. Chocolate produces natural endorphins. That is probably why you gave into your craving. It is probably a good idea to get rid of the chocolates and keep something chocolatey but more non-fattening around. You ARE NOT going to give up chocolate.

When i read about your dog--my first thought was stroke, I'm so sorry. I'm glad you got a confirmation from the dr. Sometimes, even a person can recover fully from a stroke within a certain amount of time. If after a certain period though the motor deficits persist--they are likely to be permanent. Again, i'm sorry about your dog and your mom.

try to do something that relaxes you.

[Linsy]

Originally Posted by jendiet

hey there. Chocolate produces natural endorphins. That is probably why you gave into your craving. It is probably a good idea to get rid of the chocolates and keep something chocolatey but more non-fattening around. You ARE NOT going to give up chocolate.

When i read about your dog--my first thought was stroke, I'm so sorry. I'm glad you got a confirmation from the dr. Sometimes, even a person can recover fully from a stroke within a certain amount of time. If after a certain period though the motor deficits persist--they are likely to be permanent. Again, i'm sorry about your dog and your mom.

try to do something that relaxes you.

Interesting. I've been feeling down lately and about 5 minutes ago a chocolate pudding snack pack was in my fridge just BEGGING for me to eat it--so I did! Good thing it was only about 130cals. Maybe it was my body asking for the endorphins?

Raven, I am so sorry about your dog. I can't even imagine how scary it would be if something happened to my cat who is the light of my life. I'm glad he's going to be okay.

[Ladybird1990]

ohh LR, so sorry to hear of your stress! slip-ups happen. Just think of all the calories you burned lifting/shifting that massive dog around! Glad to hear he's better and that you are back on track!

[SMSDREAMER2007]

Hug train coming! So, so sorry.. Slip ups happen. It is understandable that you did that. Don't stress it, you have enough stress already. Forget about the past and move on!