100 lb. Club - Do People Really LOOK at each other.....




CoCoMonkey
03-07-2011, 01:27 PM
Just pondering .......I have lost 26lbs since January 26th, and even though I still have 92lbs to go.......when is anyone going to start noticing?

I have a theory that the same people you see every day at work, etc., just kind of register a check mark when they see you, no one really takes the time to SEE someone else. Anyone else find this to be the case?

I just wonder if after 45lbs someone is going to LOOK up one day and wonder if I'm seriously ill.......:dizzy:

Kel


Razorbackbritt
03-07-2011, 01:34 PM
I think its relative. I lost about 25 pounds before anyone noticed, but that was about 15% of my body fat.

A friend of mine who was heavier than I was to begin, it took her losing almost 50 pounds before anyone seemed to notice.

Fairy
03-07-2011, 01:36 PM
I think you're right, it takes people, including myself, a while to really SEE people when we're not really paying attention. You've done great so far so just keep going and hopefully someone will notice soon :)


time2lose
03-07-2011, 01:55 PM
I had to lose about 50 pounds before anyone noticed. I have also found that people notice once I buy smaller clothes.

Eliana
03-07-2011, 01:59 PM
Yeah, unfortunately the heavier we are, the longer it takes for someone to notice. It took me 45 pounds lost before I had my first comment from someone who didn't know what I was doing. And then when you do get it...know that there are at least 10 others who have noticed but are afraid to say anything. ;) And then just wait for it because everyone's going to start commenting! :D Enjoy while you enjoy it because eventually it gets old. :rofl:

The opposite is true as you become smaller. 10 pounds lost is huge and everyone will comment on that too.

Emme
03-07-2011, 02:08 PM
Everyone is different when they lose weight ~ sometimes it's immediate to see because of how someone carries his or her weight, other times it takes a while and maybe even a drop of 25-45 pounds before anything is noticed.

When I told my sister-in-law yesterday that in 10 more pounds I will have lost 100 pounds, she refused to believe me and said she never saw it (the extra 100 pounds). It makes me feel good because she always just saw me as a person, and I'm glad she forgot what me with 100 extra pounds looked like!

Don't get discouraged...a lot of people may be hesitant to ask if you've lost weight or comment on any weight loss if they don't know if you are trying to lose weight. I know that unless someone I know personally tells me they are trying to lose weight, then I don't say anything to them about a weight loss until I know for sure.

beerab
03-07-2011, 02:19 PM
I lost about 30 lbs before anyone noticed. It also depends on your clothes IMO. If you lose a lot of weight but are wearing the same clothes it's harder to notice. I guarantee if your clothes are loose and you were one outfit that's more fitting someone will say something :)

Trazey34
03-07-2011, 02:25 PM
and it depends how 'close' people are to you - friends and family commented on mine at about 30 - 35 lbs, but work people it was a lot longer -- mostly, i think, they don't want to be rude in case you're NOT losing weight! How humiliating to say to a big girl "oh have you lost weight" and a "umm no" response... I like to think people are just being kind and waiting til it's for sure! Kind of like not saying "oh when is your baby due" but opposite LOL

Porthardygurl
03-07-2011, 02:28 PM
Yah i understand how frustrating it is..ive lost 17 pounds and no one says anything to me. i have to ask my hunny if he can tell..but i have so much more to lose..

CoCoMonkey
03-07-2011, 02:34 PM
THANK YOU ALL FOR THE RESPONSES!!!! I think you are right, clothes that fit better, a bit more weight, and people will notice :carrot:

Hanging in there! I'm doing this!!! :jig:

Kel

Dusti
03-07-2011, 02:35 PM
I work with all guys, so I am the only female. I don't say anything about my weight loss or eating habits because I'm just not ready to venture into that area yet with them. No one at work has mentioned anything to me and I like it that way because the other way would be to uncomfortable. I come in to work smaller every week and they keep their mouths shut :) It's a perfect arrangement for me.
My husband is a different story, he doesn't always mention it (unless I ask) but I have seen him taking double-takes at me, which of course feels good.

kaplods
03-07-2011, 02:53 PM
We're "hard-wired" not to notice small to moderate changes. A psychology professor argued that if we noticed very small changes in face and body changes, it would change how we process facial (and body) recognition, we might not be able to recognize anyone we hadn't seen in 5 years. Their features would be "too different"). We'd also get "worked up" about normal changes (is that aging I'm seeing, or is the person sick, do they have something contageous?)

My husband and I love each other and DO look at each other, but we look the same today in the mirror or to each other than we did yesterday. We've each lost 80+ pounds, but we can't "see it" unless we look in old photographs, and even then it's the photograph that seems like the "wrong" memory. Again it's the way the brain is organized. We "replace" yesterday's memory of a person with today's memory. There are a few very rare people who's brains don't work that way (Oprah had a woman on who can remember everything that happened every day of her life). It makes it difficult for her not to hold grudges because she remembers every argument and insult if it happened yesterday. Remembering every distinction in a person's body changes would probably be similar. How easily we forget, is actually an advantage.


Can you imagine how bizarre it would be otherwise. "Hey Jack, I noticed that you lost 1/8 of a pound since yesterday, are you feeling ok?"


Aside from the brain physiology, there's also social learning issues. Weight loss is taboo in this culture. Do you compliment someone on their weight loss only to discover that they're ill? What if you're wrong and they didn't lose weight, are they going to think you're suggesting that they should in a passive-aggressive way?

If you need recognition, you can prime the pump and announce "I've lost weight, can you tell?" But of course then you do risk hearing the truth from someone who didn't notice.

Riesz
03-07-2011, 02:59 PM
Starting out, I only noticed much difference in my sizes after about 30 lbs lost. Even then, I couldn't quite comfortably fit into the next size down (I like my clothes somewhat loose) so I kept wearing my old clothes.

Ten pounds more was a big woosh for my size, for whatever reason, and suddenly I could fit into smaller size and people seemed to start noticing.

I guess it just depends on your body. :) Keep at it and people will notice soon, I'm sure!

CoCoMonkey
03-07-2011, 03:00 PM
kaplods- excellent explanation!!!

Kel

Leec37
03-07-2011, 03:31 PM
I was just wondering this same thing earlier today. Feeling very discouraged that I have lost almost 20 pounds and not one person has noticed. Now I know I'm not alone and I just need to be patient. Not that it should matter what others think but I think for everyone it's nice when people notice all the hard work that you have put into this.
Thanks CoCoMonkey for starting this thread.

ParadiseFalls
03-07-2011, 03:59 PM
I really think it's relative to your size AND a matter of seeing you every day. I've lost 40 pounds and no one I see every day has noticed, but people who haven't seen me since before definitely notice. :shrug:

rachael
03-07-2011, 04:23 PM
This thread made me think about how when I was fat, I was always petrified of running into people I used to know when I was thin. And of course I always did. Now I am as small as when I was 19 and I never run into anyone, even though I don't dread it.

carter
03-07-2011, 04:37 PM
I lost more than 50 pounds before anyone noticed - that is, before anyone commented.

I remember after I had lost about 55 pounds, I went to lunch with the group of folks I work with. They were all raving about how great a guy in the team looked - he had also lost 55 pounds, and he did look quite trim and good - but I sat there feeling like chopped liver.

Anyway the nice thing is that the smaller you get, the more obvious the weight loss gets, and the more noticeable each 10 pounds becomes. Lately, as I'm approaching 80 pounds gone, more people are starting to comment - in particular, people I know from the gym (my gym is onsite at my office), which I find very gratifying.

As for why people may notice but don't comment: Think of how fraught weight loss is - how people can be so sensitive to comments about their weight. The more observant people around you are also likely observant enough to know that compliments about weight loss are not always taken in the spirit intended. ;) That is, the ones who notice before it's glaringly obvious may have the tact to keep their mouths shut.

nickyj
03-07-2011, 05:20 PM
Yeah, nobody has noticed my weightloss except the people who know i have been going to the gym and eating right. Im down thirty pounds, so Im guessing another 10 to 15 pounds a lot more people will notice.

Eliana
03-07-2011, 05:49 PM
This thread made me think about how when I was fat, I was always petrified of running into people I used to know when I was thin. And of course I always did. Now I am as small as when I was 19 and I never run into anyone, even though I don't dread it.
Me too! Although I did end up running into an old friend whom I hadn't seen since the 6th grade when I was about 75 pounds down and it felt amazing! I was so happy to see her rather than wanting to run and hide. We ran into each other while trick-or-treating with our kids, which was really weird!

I lost more than 50 pounds before anyone noticed - that is, before anyone commented.

I remember after I had lost about 55 pounds, I went to lunch with the group of folks I work with. They were all raving about how great a guy in the team looked - he had also lost 55 pounds, and he did look quite trim and good - but I sat there feeling like chopped liver.
.
When I had lost 25 pounds my mother was raving about how her husband's ex had lost 30 pounds and how great she looked, yadda, yadda, yadda. No one had noticed a thing about me. Yep, that's hard.

CoCoMonkey
03-07-2011, 05:57 PM
THANK YOU EVERYONE for joining in! It's nice to know I'm not alone and/or you have been there done that! :hug:

And a :carrot::carrot::carrot: to everyone!

Kel

runningfromfat
03-07-2011, 06:16 PM
I've lost 32lbs since this summer and besides DH and my parents (who know that I've lost weight), NOBODY has mentioned anything. Sigh. Wait, I take that back, there was a dad that I run into sometime that kind of creeps me out and he gave me a weird look and asked if I was doing something differently but that's been it.

bliss3244
03-07-2011, 06:38 PM
but people are like that sometime... they might see it but they will not say anything... one of my aunt in-laws said u look like u have lost some weight.. i said yes, thank u im trying.. and my other aunt in-law said no dont tell her cause if u tell her she is gonna fall off and stop.... this is just an example how people can see it but they just dont say anything...

Laneyy
03-07-2011, 07:04 PM
I've lost 10 from this starting point (I was 10lbs heavier than my starting, but that was a few years ago) and no one's noticing yet, but the last time I had a significant weight loss it took 30lbs before anyone took notice.

twinmommaplusone
03-07-2011, 07:20 PM
No Lie it took 120 lbs for people to say something and even 140lbs down and seeing people I dont get to very often never say anything. I have several theorys. First the dont want to comment out of fear/or that they will embaress you. Some also look beyond the exterior and only have and forever will see my inner beauty. My husband, the dynamics were different, he has lost 100lbs but did it all in a year. My journey has been 18-19 months so far. I know you are anxious and people will notice, just not sure when and if they do it might not even be a weight difference it might a happier "you" difference or a more energetic "you" difference,kwim? Congrats on the loss so far!

Angie
03-07-2011, 10:21 PM
I think the new clothes make a lot of difference. I've been stuck in the 220's for a while, and i was comparing some pics yesterday. Most new pics of me show me in my newer clothes that fit my new weight better, but in the pics from my DS's birthday party I was wearing an old sweater-dress, and I look F-A-T as ever. You would never know I'd lost a single pound in that huge old thing, let alone 50lbs. I look much better in clothes that show that I'm regaining my waistline than I do in tents. It's always when I wear more tailored clothes that people comment on my losses.

Shmead
03-08-2011, 06:53 AM
When I was 75 lbs down, a parent of a student starts going on about "You look so nice but I can't tell what it is. I just can't put my finger on it. Did you change your hair?" I remember thinking "woman, if you know a hairdresser that can take off 75 pounds, PLEASE give me her number!"

CardboardCutoutCat
03-08-2011, 07:15 AM
Can I direct you to a very clever analogy posted on the site a while back?

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/metabolic-research-center/146593-paper-towel-theory.html

I think the analogy helps us to understand how there may not be a hugely noticeable difference in the beginning - it was certainly that way for me anyway. No one noticed the first 10lbs and now every 3-5 I lose, people are noticing and commenting.

Keep up the good work!!

Sea
03-08-2011, 07:21 AM
I've dropped over 50 lbs. and people are starting to notice. As you mentioned in your original post, people wonder/worry that I must have gotten cancer or some other dread disease to have lost it. I've been asked this by my son and a friend I hadn't seen in a few months. (No harm was intended; they were just checking because they were concerned for me.)

On the other hand, I've noticed that people, particularly strangers, treat me differently. Service is uniformly better in stores, restaurants, and especially when travelling. I realized it was my weight while I was writing letters to an airline to compliment the service on a recent trip. It has been consistent over the last two months, since I hit the 50 lb. point.

lottie63
03-08-2011, 08:00 AM
no on noticed for me until I'd lost 42 lbs. I had 150 to lose if that puts it in perspective.

Dusti
03-09-2011, 03:35 AM
On the other hand, I've noticed that people, particularly strangers, treat me differently. Service is uniformly better in stores, restaurants, and especially when travelling. I realized it was my weight

This is so true.
Sometimes when I am waiting in line (gas station, grocery store, etc), guys will just start talking to me. I still find it weird because they didn't do it before. I am always polite but it's still a little insulting because I know it is because I'm smaller.

MiZTaCCen
03-09-2011, 09:35 AM
It depends on the person, I worked at a place where I wore a uniform so 10 pounds off people were noticing because my uniform was getting baggier on me. I'm sure if I had a job where I wasn't wearing a uniform people wouldn't have noticed as much. But even now at my last 20 pounds inches are dropping the scale is a jerk but people are noticing I'm getting smaller. The only person not noticing is myself. I think it really just depends.

myhaloisintheshop
03-09-2011, 02:58 PM
i have been wondering when people will notice as well! My husband hasn't commented at all--no one has! ive went down 31 lbs. I have went down one size so i figure maybe when I lose another 20 lbs someone will say something! LOL or at least I hope they do

Jeni
03-09-2011, 03:12 PM
haha yeah. I mean I've lost almost 60 pounds, and while most people I know have definitely noticed at this point, I ran into one of my friends for the first time in awhile the other day and after we'd been together for about an hour looked at me and was like, "You're looking a little skinnier. What, have you just been working out a little bit or something?" I was just kinda like... heh. yeah.... But yeah, definitely it takes time, and I think some people are even a little embarrassed to say something at first, so don't sweat it!