100 lb. Club - Is there a short circuit?




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Caring4myself
03-06-2011, 09:45 AM
After all the planning and searching for how to do better..... I stopped by DQ on my way home from work. I don't know what is wrong with me. It's like I can't give it up or be consistent with what I need to do to lose this weight.

My life is on the line. My health does not have an A rating. I've had family members to die early, but can't shake myself into consistency. I don't want to die early, I don't...:cry:

I don't know what is wrong with me???


lottie63
03-06-2011, 09:51 AM
caring, have you tried therapy? I am a binge eater and I haven't binged since oct 14th and I am in month 5 of being on plan and have never done this well/long.

I honestly think therapy has been the thing that made the difference this time. Hopefully it continues to.

You can do this!

cestlavie22
03-06-2011, 11:31 AM
sometimes the problem is that we are stuck in a pattern. Drive by fast food place, stop and get food. Sit in front of the TV and snack. We are a bit like pavlov's dog. see DQ and we start salivating :) One solution is to look at all the places/times you eat in a way you consider inappropriate and try to change patterns. example: drive home in a different way. put your wallet in the trunk of your car so that you can't automatically go through the drive through as you would have to stop, get your wallet out, etc. Don't carry your wallet. Make a rule that you can only eat sitting at a table. no eating anywhere else.

I used to put a chair in the entrance to the kitchen to block the entry way as everytime i passed through i was tempted to grab a snack. Having to move the chair, would jolt me into thinking. Am i actually hungry or just bored? I instituted a rule that i could not eat in the car. If i wanted fast food. I would park, walk in, stand in line, sit down at a table and eat properly (as i only allow myself to eat sitting at a table). Turns out i am too lazy to do all that!

Changing patterns gets easier over time. That with good planning is one of the keys to success. So, if you know that the drive home is a problem for you, pack a healthy low calorie snack that you enjoy and can eat in the car. Or make your car a 'no eating' zone. Or consciously drive a route that avoids all fast food chains.

Good luck!


lottie63
03-06-2011, 11:37 AM
cest, great idea about keeping your wallet in the trunk!

Caring4myself
03-06-2011, 01:09 PM
caring, have you tried therapy? I am a binge eater and I haven't binged since oct 14th and I am in month 5 of being on plan and have never done this well/long.

I honestly think therapy has been the thing that made the difference this time. Hopefully it continues to.

You can do this!

Yes. I am in therapy, and I think it works in certain parts of my life. We're not really addressing what's behind the behavior. She is more focused on changing the behavior. So....:shrug:

sometimes the problem is that we are stuck in a pattern. Drive by fast food place, stop and get food. Sit in front of the TV and snack. We are a bit like pavlov's dog. see DQ and we start salivating :) One solution is to look at all the places/times you eat in a way you consider inappropriate and try to change patterns. example: drive home in a different way. put your wallet in the trunk of your car so that you can't automatically go through the drive through as you would have to stop, get your wallet out, etc. Don't carry your wallet. Make a rule that you can only eat sitting at a table. no eating anywhere else.

I used to put a chair in the entrance to the kitchen to block the entry way as everytime i passed through i was tempted to grab a snack. Having to move the chair, would jolt me into thinking. Am i actually hungry or just bored? I instituted a rule that i could not eat in the car. If i wanted fast food. I would park, walk in, stand in line, sit down at a table and eat properly (as i only allow myself to eat sitting at a table). Turns out i am too lazy to do all that!

Changing patterns gets easier over time. That with good planning is one of the keys to success. So, if you know that the drive home is a problem for you, pack a healthy low calorie snack that you enjoy and can eat in the car. Or make your car a 'no eating' zone. Or consciously drive a route that avoids all fast food chains.

Good luck!

Those are great ideas. I didn't eat in the car, I took it home and ate it. It was a matter of the idea of DQ popped into my head, then I was like that's what I want, then I drove and got it. No inhibition. It's like if I feel it's forbidden, then I want it more. It's definitely a matter of changing habits and the way I think. It's that I just feel horrible when I make those choices.

Maybe I need to look at it as not being forbidden. I know that I can eat whatever as long as I don't eat it alot. I didn't eat anything else sweet yesterday. My dinner was light also.

lottie63
03-06-2011, 09:50 PM
Yes. I am in therapy, and I think it works in certain parts of my life. We're not really addressing what's behind the behavior. She is more focused on changing the behavior. So....:shrug:


A lot of therapists do that, it doesn't matter what caused it what matters is stopping it, you seem to disagree, or am I wrong? If you do maybe asking her to change the focus might help?

Either way, finding someone that works WITH you, is really helpful. I hope you guys have a good working relationship. I hope it helps you out.

lottie63
03-06-2011, 09:52 PM
btw, I figured out what was behind my eating issues on accident while talking to my bf one day.

Came down to a few simple ideas:

1.) Food is comfort
2.) Food makes me think of family. (My mom once said, "go eat in the tv room, vince (stepdad) doesn't want to come home from work and have to see you." (This caused huge issues for me cuz living with other fam made a big deal out of eating together and hearing about my day, etc.)
3.) Which brings us to, food = caring
4.) food is tradition
5.) food is celebration.

I've had to let go of all of those things. Maybe just start journaling about it. Sometimes when I blog I don't know what I'm going to say until it comes from my fingertips.

astrophe
03-06-2011, 10:02 PM
Check out Linda Spangle's Life is Hard, Food is easy. Esp the bits about "head hunger" and "heart hunger." Some of that is online -- you can google those phrases. But the whole book goes deeper.

Emotional eating is a challenge, but it can be overcome.

GL!
A.

Caring4myself
03-06-2011, 11:03 PM
[QUOTE=lottie63;3745600]btw, I figured out what was behind my eating issues on accident while talking to my bf one day.

Came down to a few simple ideas:

1.) Food is comfort
2.) Food makes me think of family. (My mom once said, "go eat in the tv room, vince (stepdad) doesn't want to come home from work and have to see you." (This caused huge issues for me cuz living with other fam made a big deal out of eating together and hearing about my day, etc.)
3.) Which brings us to, food = caring
4.) food is tradition
5.) food is celebration.

I've had to let go of all of those things. Maybe just start journaling about it. Sometimes when I blog I don't know what I'm going to say until it comes from my fingertips.[/QUOTE

I agree. I think food is my boyfriend, my best friend, my family(because I moved 5hrs away from them). Food is my entertainment, my past time, ect.

I'm busy during the week, so I do better during those times. Not unless something stressful happens. The weekends are the hardest though.

Caring4myself
03-06-2011, 11:04 PM
Check out Linda Spangle's Life is Hard, Food is easy. Esp the bits about "head hunger" and "heart hunger." Some of that is online -- you can google those phrases. But the whole book goes deeper.

Emotional eating is a challenge, but it can be overcome.

GL!
A.


I'm going to check to see if I can get it at the library.

carter
03-06-2011, 11:26 PM
Those are great ideas. I didn't eat in the car, I took it home and ate it. It was a matter of the idea of DQ popped into my head, then I was like that's what I want, then I drove and got it. No inhibition. It's like if I feel it's forbidden, then I want it more. It's definitely a matter of changing habits and the way I think. It's that I just feel horrible when I make those choices.


It works for me to tell myself "not today" rather than "never again." If you drive by the fast food place every day, think "meh, maybe tomorrow." The fast food will still be there. This isn't your last chance ever to eat it. So - not today. Then the next day, say it again. ;)

This really helps me a lot, and especially in the beginning when I was learning how to say "no!" to my inner three-year-old that wanted to eat whatever treats popped into mind or appeared in front of me, without regard to the consequences. Saying "no!" to your inner three-year-old is really hard, it's like a muscle that you have to exercise to build up strength.

But it does build up strength if you exercise it. In time it gets much, much easier to resist temptation, after you have had results for a while and begun to change your habits. When the fast food place is no longer part of your routine, and you've lost a little weight, it won't loom as large in front of you. And when it does, you can just say "not today."

Caring4myself
03-07-2011, 10:10 AM
It works for me to tell myself "not today" rather than "never again." If you drive by the fast food place every day, think "meh, maybe tomorrow." The fast food will still be there. This isn't your last chance ever to eat it. So - not today. Then the next day, say it again. ;)

This really helps me a lot, and especially in the beginning when I was learning how to say "no!" to my inner three-year-old that wanted to eat whatever treats popped into mind or appeared in front of me, without regard to the consequences. Saying "no!" to your inner three-year-old is really hard, it's like a muscle that you have to exercise to build up strength.

But it does build up strength if you exercise it. In time it gets much, much easier to resist temptation, after you have had results for a while and begun to change your habits. When the fast food place is no longer part of your routine, and you've lost a little weight, it won't loom as large in front of you. And when it does, you can just say "not today."

Thanks, that's a really good idea. I'm going to try it. Last night I made some bad choices and it wasn't fast food. I made a bundt cake from scratch. I'm diabetic so I have the sour taste and stomach this morning. I'm under lots of stress and those old habits are trying to take me down. But i'm not giving up.

Trazey34
03-07-2011, 12:32 PM
and as corny as it sounds, even doing it ONCE can start you down the right path....the feeling that "I'm getting a cheeseburger" getting in line, getting ready to order, and then mentally saying NO I"M NOT! and ordering a coffee instead and getting the heck outta there! Saying NO once makes it easier the next time and the next and the next!

this was EXACTLY my issue as well, and it only pertained to food. I'd never see a $500 pair of boots and say "i want them therefore i'm buying them" i'd always have a mental conversation of 'do i need them? can i afford it?' etc., and I tried to translate that NORMAL internal dialogue to food, it can be done!!