100 lb. Club - Jerk criticizing my body




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Asherdoodles87
03-04-2011, 06:10 PM
I just need to rant from a second. A guy asked me if I have ever had gastric bypass surgery. (He has never seen me at 250). I told him no, but I did not discuss my weight loss. The reason he asked is because he said my breasts are so disproportionate to my body it looks odd, like I lost a ton of weight, but not there. And, that other girls my size don't have as big a chest. And, he went on to say if I lost any weight now that I would look funny with big hips and a big chest on a tiny body.

Gosh, darn it. Is my body ever going to be good enough? I am sick of hearing what is wrong with me all the time.


CanadianCutie
03-04-2011, 06:29 PM
Oh wow. I'd be tempted to beat this guy. I don't know how people think comments like this are ok.

Chantelle
03-04-2011, 06:32 PM
Christ, what a jerk! I certainly hope this isn't someone you have to deal with on a regular basis, I would be so hard-pressed to hold my tongue in that case.

Although it surely sounds like you're well on your way to an awesome hourglass figure - I'd flaunt it, **** with the rest of them! ;)


kallismom
03-04-2011, 06:34 PM
WOW! that sounds like something a rude 12yo would say, not an adult! Please let it roll off your back (I know it's hard).

DisgruntledOne
03-04-2011, 06:36 PM
hmmm sounds like there is more to the story than we got. I need clarification. How did this converstion even come about? Doesn't seem like some random guy on the street coming up to you saying this.

beerab
03-04-2011, 06:38 PM
Let me guess? He's single?

I'd have been like "you know I was just thinking the same and I was about to ask you how such a big guy can have such a small weiner!"

kaplods
03-04-2011, 06:55 PM
I talk a lot (as some of you already know from the lengths of my posts), to friends, to accquaintences, to strangers).

No matter what you believe about the appropriateness of sharing opinions, everyone has them, and they're all very different. You can't let other people's opinions of you, determine your opinion of yourse.f


Gosh, darn it. Is my body ever going to be good enough? I am sick of hearing what is wrong with me all the time.

Good enough for whom? For every random guy? Then the answer is, absolutely never. Now and at your heighest weight you were "too fat," "too thin" "wrong proportioned" and absolutely perfect in the opinions of other people. At your lowest weight, you'll be able to say the same thing.

There is no body type and shape that appeals to everyone.

The question isn't whom your body pleases, the question is when will you be pleased. If your answer is "when everyone else approves of my body," then you're doomed to being unhappy forever, because it's not going to happen.

If you expect everyone to keep criticisms of you to themselves, that isn't going to happen either. Some people are intentionally rude, others may not feel they're being critical or inappropriate they may just like sharing their opinion on everything (I tend to be that way, but I don't expext people to care about my opinions. Sure I hope they do, but I also am ok, and sometimes have to agree with people saying "Colleen, you're full of ****" or "Colleen, that's a topic I don't care to discuss").

You teach others how to treat you, and you can learn to teach them not to pursue certain lines of discussion. If you don't want body comments - then stop the conversation. Tell the person it's not open for discussion. You don't have to participate in body commentary - and listening is participating. You could have stopped the topic before it got as far as it did by saying "I don't appreciate commentary on my body, please change the subject."

Most of us have to learn to be active communicators. We have to learn not to "suffer in silence" and then later fume about someone's rudeness. It is ok to stop unpleasant communication in it's tracks. Even if you're the only one who thinks it's unpleasant or rude, it's still ok to say "I don't want to discuss that."

I don't care if the topic is "clowns" if clowns make you uncomfortable, it's ok to say "I don't like talking about clowns, please let's change the subject."

Know that your body is perfect for someone - but what really matters is what you think of it, and you can like it at any size and shape. So you can begin liking it, even if you don't love it yet, and regardless of anyone else's opinion on the matter.

MonicaM
03-04-2011, 06:55 PM
How do you know this idiot? If he is a stranger, just imagine that he is on his way to the loony bin, where he belongs.

Porthardygurl
03-04-2011, 07:15 PM
i would have just said "no honey this body is 100% natural and all mine including these (hug those womenly parts)and say "you know you may not approve, but i know a lot of guys who dont share your opinion, so how bout you mind your own business"

Seriously..why should you care what he thinks anyway? And truth is..you may never be good enough for anyone..but thats not what counts..What counts is wheather you matter to you and whether you think you are good enough based on what YOU see. Everyone else's opinion counts as a grain of salt compared to how you feel and what you see..and im sure..that there are tons of men out there..who 100% approve..i happen to know that my man thinks that my bigger girls look great and its one of my nicest features..so..appreciate what you got!

reptogirl
03-04-2011, 07:23 PM
i thought guys liked big chests...yeah like everyone else said..he is a loser jerk that must have some body issues himself..and shake it off.

Initiative
03-04-2011, 07:38 PM
Sounds like he was dissing us hourglass' :P. He's just a jerk that can't take into account that there are all forms of beauty; not just what he "thinks" is attractive. It's just a person's opinion, and the world is like a coin toss. Cheer up. ^_^

fattymcfatty
03-04-2011, 07:51 PM
Freaky. I remember one time at a camp out for my husbands' job and co-workers that a coworker of his asked him (not in front of me, of course) if I had had breast implants. Wow, he was mad! Because yes, I do have large breasticles (even though I've lost almost 70lbs, I still wear a DD cup) and DH loves that about me. And as far as he's concerned, I'm his and others should not be "looking". LOL!!!

Seriously, guy sounds like a real freak. I don't think I would have had a quick answer for him either, cause I would have been shocked that that actually came out of his mouth.

JOLINA
03-04-2011, 07:59 PM
The guy sounds like a weirdo that likes to discuss body parts.
Best not to say anything at all to him....ever.
And if he is a co-worker, let the ladies know he is strange.
If he keeps it up, you can report him to management for harrassment.
Something is wrong with his head.

nickyj
03-04-2011, 07:59 PM
woah, he sounds very socially stunted. Why do people think this is ok? I would a made a comment about his body, maby then he would get the point that doing so is not okay.

Tea Granny
03-04-2011, 08:42 PM
...appropriate response?....KISS OFF JERK-FACE!!!!!....

nuumite
03-04-2011, 08:50 PM
I also think it's rude when people ask "how much do you weigh now?" I would never ask someone that.

Trazey34
03-04-2011, 10:37 PM
sorry am i supposed to feel sorry for you for having giant boobs on a small frame??? what am i missing here???

astrophe
03-04-2011, 11:13 PM
What planet is he from? Freak. I hope you put him in his place. :rollpin:

And there is nothing wrong with your previous shape, current in transition shape, or final goal/age shape. You are YOU shape! :hug:

What a nutjob! :mad:

A.

Asherdoodles87
03-04-2011, 11:35 PM
sorry am i supposed to feel sorry for you for having giant boobs on a small frame??? what am i missing here???

He made it sound gross, like there was something wrong with me. Like I am a disproportionate freak. I haven't had gastric bypass surgery. He was basically saying that only fat girls have boobs that big. I just found the comment rude. I just needed to rant. :^: We weren't even talking about anything health related, he just asked if I had gastric bypass because my body was disproportionate. And, he went on further to explain why.

DisgruntledOne
03-05-2011, 12:13 AM
I apologize for asking before then...some posts I see say something then comes to find out the poster kinda started the conversation spiriling(sp) down hill.
first of all insulting what you are visualizing as his
"manhood" isn't really the way to handle the situation. Just makes you like him. I would've probably told him considering I didn't ask for ur opinion I dob't care what you think about my body! Then just be done with. Don't even deserve too much of ur thoughts.

amandie
03-05-2011, 02:14 AM
Wow. Honestly, the guy would have had a split lip and/or a black eye if he said that to me, seriously.

I just hope you don't listen to him because that's total bullcrap, opinions like his does/should not matter to you. You're beautiful at whatever size!

SuomiSara
03-05-2011, 02:37 AM
Ignore him, clearly just a tosser!

Boobs come in all shapes and sizes just like the owner. Id expect he was just very badly trying to get an eye full ;)

At any rate he clearly has all the social skills of a peanut and no likely no real friends either.:hug:

Nola Celeste
03-05-2011, 03:14 AM
If I knew him at all and was already aware that he was a little socially backward, I would've laughed and said, "You know, you're probably the first guy I've ever encountered who thought big boobs and big hips with an itty-bitty waist looked weird." :D

One phrase I learned here that I absolutely love when dealing with people who've said something rude: "Oh dear, do you realize you said that out loud?" I've had only a couple of occasions to use it since I read it, but boy, do I love it--gets the point across without stooping low enough to throw my back out. ;)

People ask some weird crap. Try not to let it influence how you see yourself in the mirror. The LAST thing you should think is, "Oh noes, there is a man out there who thinks a little waist and big ta-tas is funny-lookin'!" Big deal, his loss, move forward.

dragonwoman64
03-05-2011, 12:09 PM
that's such a bizarre thing to say to a woman. I agree he must have missed Social Skills 101. His date calendar must be filled with: must watch NCIS marathon -- again.

OT: Trazey, that bef and after pic in your signature is AMAZING, congrats!!

cherrypie
03-05-2011, 12:24 PM
He made it sound gross, like there was something wrong with me. Like I am a disproportionate freak. I haven't had gastric bypass surgery. He was basically saying that only fat girls have boobs that big. I just found the comment rude. I just needed to rant. :^: We weren't even talking about anything health related, he just asked if I had gastric bypass because my body was disproportionate. And, he went on further to explain why.

what does gastric bypass have to do with big boobs? :lol: I agree with everyone else, he's just socially inept. Don't let it get to you

lottie63
03-05-2011, 12:56 PM
People are weird.

eff 'em.

Trazey34
03-05-2011, 02:20 PM
OT: Trazey, that bef and after pic in your signature is AMAZING, congrats!!

thanks so much!! although i kinda cheated and my before really BIG and UP CLOSE and now one farther away and tiny hehehehh oh well every little bit helps!!!:carrot:

Goddess Jessica
03-05-2011, 02:55 PM
LOL. Who was this guy? Was he trying to flirt? Trying to say he appreciates your big boobs? Wow. Idiot.

When I announced that I was pregnant, a guy who LOVES to flirt with me said, "Well, how long you think you'll be able to fit in THOSE jeans." I was stunned. How dumb are you? I collected myself and tapped his belly and said, "How long are you going to be able to fit into yours?" He blushed and stammered and realized he was an idiot.

bargoo
03-05-2011, 04:19 PM
Well, he is ignorant and may have gastric bypass confused woth liposuction.

Laffalot
03-05-2011, 05:44 PM
Good Grief! What an IDIOT!! He's not even worth a response. I feel badly for you cause statements like that hurt besides being just plain rude. I do like the "do you realize you said that out loud" response. And you can walk away. I'm going to keep that one in mind. Everyone, do enjoy your weekend. TTYL. :wave:

kaplods
03-05-2011, 06:04 PM
It's really important to remember what an opinion is worth. All of us care what someone thinks, but those people should be the people closest to us, not random strangers. If you care what everyone thinks, you're going to drive yourselve bonkers, because you can't please everyone (and you shouldn't try).

This guy's opinion was so off-the-wall, that I would expect a mental health disorder or mental handicap. So the bigger question is, why are you letting the opinion of someone so obviously impaired (mentally, socially, intellectually - something's going wrong here) influence you.

If a two year old, or a mentally handicapped or mentally ill adult called you a "poopy face" would you be as upset? Because that's really what happened here. Someone with mental, emotional, social and/or maturity problems spoke nonsense to you. There was nothing in the comment that was worthy of respect.

When you respect yourself and your opinion, the opinion of strangers is irrelevant (especially someone this odd). Why do you respect the opinion of someone so obviously impaired?