[plasticfoodwrap]

i was curious if anyone knows how to handle this.

you know how when someone a bit quirky comes along, people around you smirk and/or exchange knowing glances as if to say "what a weirdo"? what should you do if you disapprove of this behavior but you don't want to get on the bad side of these people either? i used to deliberately avoided eye contact even if i noticed from the corner of my eye that someone was looking my way and trying to get me to exchange glances with him/her, but that only made me seem odd as well. (i am socially awkward by nature, but i can blend in sometimes until things like this happen and people start realizing i'm not one of them.) i've tried making brief eye contact but without smiling as if to at least acknowledge what they're doing, but i think that has pretty much the same effect.

i know ideally these people are not worth my time and i should walk away from them, but based on my experience there's just too many of them and right now i'm trying to make friends, not enemies.

has anyone been in this position before?

[atreyyena]

I say if they make the 'what a weirdo' face, you make the 'wow, interesting person' face at said person as they walk away, and change the subject. It's non judgemental, doesn't start arguments, and even if they don't get it entirely they'll realize you're not into doing the 'what a weirdo' game.

[Dusti]

Originally Posted by plasticfoodwrap

i used to deliberately avoided eye contact even if i noticed from the corner of my eye that someone was looking my way and trying to get me to exchange glances with him/her, but that only made me seem odd as well.

That is basically what I do too. I stay focused on the person I am speaking with, making eye contact with them the whole time. Sure, I can see the other's looks but I also succeed in diverting the "quirky person's" attention so they don't notice their looks. I have found from doing this way that rude comments are less likely to be uttered after the person leaves because your company will think that you are not affected by the quirkiness. I know it is awkward but it keeps the peace.

[krampus]

Smile in the creepiest possible way and stare at them, unblinking. They won't do it again!

[MzHopeful]

I think what you are reffering to is social anxiety. I've suffered with mild social anxiety for years. The thing is alot of times we totally over analyze a social interaction. I've found it's much easier for me if I just focus on the conversation at hand...take a few deep breaths, and know that this person isn't judging me..they are interested in having a conversation so obviously they find me worthy of communicating with. Then when its all said and done I don't allow myself to go over the conversation in my head looking for what mistakes I made. I just let it be. Overtime.. with practice and just continuing to put myself out there, its gotten sooo much easier. Truthfully the main way to overcome shyness or social anxiety is to put yourself in situations that you aren't comfortable with it... over and over until it starts to get easier. Just like w/anything else, without practice you cant get the hang of something.

[plasticfoodwrap]

i do have some sort of social anxiety, but in this case the problem is not so much me as it is other people who happen to be jerks.

they're everywhere, it seems, even in places where people are supposed to know better.

[niafabo]

i'm that weirdo people exchange knowing glances about. don't know why people have to hate on someone and avoid them just because they aren't like anyone else. we notice when people are rude and judgemental towards us. it makes us very uncomfortable and we try to be nice and "make it up" to people by being extra nice but people just act even more rude. be nice to the person for petesake!