Weight Loss Support - Does anyone ever think for a second, "I wish I was fat again?"

02-27-2011, 01:13 AM
To those of you who have neared or reached your goal....What problems have you encountered? When I was 5'1 and almost 200 lbs, I was miserable about my body and finding clothing but generally happy with my social life, content being single, things like that.

Now, After hard work (then the unintentional grief associated weight loss), people actually think I'm "hot" This still baffles me.

Since becoming "hot" I've had more opportunities for dating which has equaled more opportunities for hurt or heartbreak. I've never been lonelier.

It's like people don't see me for me anymore....they see the outside, Tonight.....dumped by someone I really was starting to like...no reason. It was going really well actually. Men can be cruel.

Or I'll go to Lane Bryant or Torrid with a friend and get the nastiest looks from the salesgirls....They don't know I was much larger than them at one point of course but seriously? I never looked down upon skinny chicks when I was a chunker. I envied them sure but no dirty looks lol Somtimes if I'm annoyed enough, I'll grab a 40DDD bra and exclaim loudly "omg! this used to be my size!" (so that they know I'm one of them lol)

Does this happen to any of you girls? Any situations where you just wish for a second "If only I were fat again I'd......."

*disclaimer, I truly don't want to be overweight ever again...but I'd love to hear others' opinions on this*

02-27-2011, 01:26 AM
the only "i wish" I have is that I lost my weight a looooong time ago.

02-27-2011, 01:37 AM
I havent even reached my goal yet! Ive been fat all my life. Up and down, and believe me that takes a toll on your psyche and your body. I have no desire to be stick thin just healthy.

02-27-2011, 03:59 AM
I'm not near goal at the moment but I have made it twice before.
I suppose that answers the question in a way: if I'd been as happy as I'd expected to be when I was thinner, I'd have stayed thinner.

I didn't experience any odd reactions from salespeople but then, I didn't go into any o/s shops.
I didn't experience unwanted or short-lived attention from men but that's because I have life-long intimacy issues, whereby I give off 'don't touch me' vibes regardless of size. I think my disappointment with where I'd got to, and thence my weight gain, lay in me, and in realizing that all the weird personal issues I'd had fat were still with me thin, they didn't magically vanish along with the pounds.

Please, tough it out! Don't end up like me having to repeat massive weightloss again and again!

02-27-2011, 04:21 AM
I am 17 lbs from goal, and yes, I admit, I have had those feelings recently. I sometimes don't recognize this new person looking back at me in the mirror. My face doesn't look like my face anymore. Every single day, something changes. I guess I never really thought about the smaller things that would change. For example, none of my rings, belts, hats, shoes, underwear, bras, fit. I have purchased new clothing through necessity, but I haven't had the funds to replace everything.

It's a strange place to be. On one hand, I am thrilled with my success at this weightloss game. On the other hand, I am mystified and feel disconnected from my body *again*.

For me I suppose that weightloss is actually more about the mental aspect rather than the physical. I am doing my very best to come to terms with this and not allow myself to slip backward and regain all of the weight.

02-27-2011, 05:38 AM
Old challenged conquered : weight loss
New challenge yet to be mastered : guy picking skills :D

02-27-2011, 06:08 AM
I think it depends on the location you live.
I heard that fat people are beautiful in Africa :-)
And in Germany and most parts of the world fat people got discriminated because of being overweight.

best wishes :)

02-27-2011, 09:21 AM
There was a time when I didn't even think about food in the same way I think about it now and I was normal metabolism. I ate when I was hungry, never measured food, count calories or even read a diet book. I was in my 20's and didn't really have a care in the world, at least about weight! Now that I am sixty, I must exercise and watch every ounce of food that goes in my mouth to stay healthy and clean. Sometimes...I long for the old days!

02-27-2011, 09:50 AM
The only times I wish I could put the fat back on is when I'm thinking in terms of a fat suit, so I could put it on and remember, but then zip it right back off. It's hard sometimes to comprehend how far I've come and on days when 90 pounds doesn't seem like all that much, I'd love to put it back it on in that manner.

You've heard, "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." ;) Keep trying. There are wonderful men out there. In my experience, the best men are the ones you meet as friends first, so take it slow. I've never experienced a man seeing me across the room and then immediately asking me out. It's never happened. My dates have always been with men who have first gotten to know me a little bit. It takes the pressure off too.

And yes, I had the same experience at LB and was quite surprised. That store was always my safe haven. I stepped out of the judgmental streets into this little oasis where everyone was my size and so nice! The salespeople were happy to serve me no matter my size. And then when I was maybe a size 12 or so I walked in with a friend of mine. I was still extremely insecure and at the point didn't know how to dress my new body. I was incredibly uncomfortable in regular stores to the point of near panic attacks. So walking into LB was a kind of relief and I was actually jealous that I couldn't shop there anymore. So to then be completely ignored by the salespeople while they fell all over my friend was disheartening to say the least. I tried to be part of the conversation but they actually turned their back on me! I made sure to get into the conversation how I'd just lost a bunch of weight...and then they were friendly. :rolleyes: Yeah, horrible experience.

02-27-2011, 10:05 AM
Um, no. Gotta be honest, what you're experiencing is just life. I'm sure if you think hard enough there are "fat counterparts" to what you're experiencing now. Life doesn't just get easier because you're thin, but some things sure do.

For me there have certainly been things that I don't have to deal with anymore because I'm thin, but new things that I do have to deal with. There's always going to be something, that's just the way the world works. I tell you though, I'll take my thin problems over my fat problems any day!

02-27-2011, 10:15 AM
I just thought I had problems finding clothes when I was a size 16 or 18 and wore XL or XXL shirts. That's NOTHING compared to now. I can never find jeans that fit me and are long enough. I have to shop in juniors for shirts most of the time, so all I can find are teeny-bopper tops or polo shirts. And bras? Don't get me started. When I was a 38D I could find bras anywhere, in a plethora of styles. Now I'm a 32C (and a C only because of excess skin - should be a B or even A)...have to special order plain, full-coverage cotton bras online because stores don't carry them. No cool, sexy styles for me anymore. Oh, and after I wear them for a short time (as in a matter of 1 to 2 weeks) they stretch around the band to the point where they don't fit anymore. I'm BARELY a 32 I guess.

I wish I was bigger again a LOT on shopping trips because they are SO frustrating!!

02-27-2011, 11:04 AM
I have felt that way before and my advice is to try to get that thought (even though you're not serious about it) out of your mind as soon as you can. I gained my weight back and then some. I had lost lots of weight and became pretty cute. I got a bunch of attention (or what felt like a lot to me) and I couldn't handle it. I felt quite insecure and I hate being ogled with a passion. I worked on my body and losing weight, but not on my self-esteem. That was my mistake.

Some men will be jerks no matter what. I say re-think the dating strategy and try something different than what you're doing right now. Maybe even try a dating site so you can at least see if those men are looking for a longer term relationship or not.

@MindiV - Have you tried Ann Taylor Loft before? They're not cheap but they usually have an EXCELLENT clearance rack all the time in their store (probably online too). I found some great stuff there before when I was on a tight budget.

02-27-2011, 11:13 AM
Since becoming "hot" I've had more opportunities for dating which has equaled more opportunities for hurt or heartbreak. I've never been lonelier.

It's like people don't see me for me anymore....they see the outside, Tonight.....dumped by someone I really was starting to like...no reason. It was going really well actually. Men can be cruel.

This. For sure. Although I don't know that it necessarily has to do with weight. Even at my highest weight, I'd get attention from men, I'd get asked out, etc. But I always pushed them away because I didn't want to get hurt, and I was happy being single.

Now, I've been trying make an effort with men, because that's what our society says we're supposed to do and I just want to be normal--and it sucks. I met a guy I actually really like, which was a surprise to me. I've started to let him in a bit, and for the past two weeks, things have been really weird between us (and I'm not entirely sure he realizes it), and I've been in total agony. (We will talk about it today!)

Never had to deal with this single. At any weight! I don't know how people do this, get involved with other romantically and then it ends--because it always ends. Only one works, if you're lucky. (Clearly I'm super cynical--don't be discouraged by my outlook!)

So for sure, opening oneself up to the possibility of romantic/sexual relationships inevitably leads to hurt. I can relate! :hug:

02-27-2011, 11:32 AM
Old challenged conquered : weight loss
New challenge yet to be mastered : guy picking skills :D

LOL. That is good advice, John.

Actually, I feel less self confident right now at 199 then I did at 250. I have no idea why. It is like suddenly I see all my flaws, and I do not believe when someone says I am pretty or that I am not as fat as I think. It is really starting to bother my family, and I think I am bugging my friends. I really do dislike my body in my own mind, but it doesn't sound that bad from other people's perspectives.

I guess you have to work on confidence your perception of yourself when you change drastically. I wouldn't want that extra 51lbs back, though.

02-27-2011, 11:40 AM

It's about being Healthy, Above all Else!

02-27-2011, 12:35 PM
I don't think I've wanted to be fat again for one moment. There are a few things that are different, and took some getting used to, now that I'm thin. Suddenly *I* am the "skinny friend" who gets all the comments like "Megan could eat anything and not gain an ounce" and "Megan, hold onto me so you don't blow away." You'd think that these comments would be some kind of stroke to my ego, but they're not, just annoying. Also, I'm pestered much more about what I'm eating. When I was big, people thought I was plump and happy and people expected me to eat a big plate. Now, when I eat a big plate, people are shocked and make comments. If I eat a small plate or nothing at all, people worry that I'm anorexic and make comments. Always the comments. But other than it being annoying, it doesn't EVER make me want to be fat again.

I do, however, have fleeting moments where I miss, and even long for, my old eating habits but most certainly not the consequences (being fat). It would be a lie to say I didn't miss eating pizza, ice cream, beer, etc all the time without a care in the world about calories or about what the scale would say. Sure, I miss that. But I was eating whatever I wanted and I was fat which is definitely worse than watching what I eat and being thin.

02-27-2011, 12:49 PM
Oh great. So what you are saying is that when I get to my goal weight the only change I will have is having MORE jerks to choose from? LOL Nah, I'm just kidding. I think a big misconception for many of us overweight, single gals is that we'll easily find men who will want to stay with us because we have rockin' bodies now. But the truth is, no matter what we weigh, we'll never completely understand why a relationship doesn't work out.

I'm sorry it didn't work out for you with this guy. Give it a few days and say...NEXT! :) Hugs to you!

02-27-2011, 01:30 PM
I went through the same things when I had lost 120 pounds. People in my own neighborhood didn't recognize me, the coworkers and girl friends who became jealous, the men who only saw the outside, and it was really REALLY hard for me to deal with, since I was pretty much always shy and introverted and felt like I had been thrust into the spotlight naked.

Yes, fat can be a protection, and while I did not wish to have all the discomfort and rejection that being fat brought me, I did often wish I wasn't so visible and vulnerable when thin. I wish there had been support (no internet then) or someone I could talk to. I think I needed help in adjusting to the new body, the new clothes, the new version of myself. Thankfully I don't need it this time, I am too old to be looked at again. lol

But for younger women who have a great deal of weight to lose, I highly recommend working through this WHILE losing weight and support when at goal. It's one thing to lose weight and another to learn to deal with the stresses in a positive way without using food. Being thin doesn't mean everything falls into place as we imagined it would.

02-27-2011, 04:01 PM
I think it's part of the myth of being thin. Having been thin in the past, I can tell you that life is just as terrible and lonely and wonderful and crazy and whatever as it is when you are fat. Except that you have smaller pants on.

02-27-2011, 06:02 PM
I don't wish i was fat per se, but sometimes I feel extra visible in a way that's sometimes uncomfortable, and sometimes that's really frustrating.

02-27-2011, 06:55 PM
The only thing I miss about being fat is just eating whatever I wanted. Of course, I shouldn't have been doing that either as it was ruining my health, but I would love to be able to eat whatever and not worry. Or at least, not worry much. I wish that I didn't have to think about where to fit in exercise in a day and so on, but even though I've only lost 17 pounds, I feel the confidence growing inside me and the old way was a dead end, seriously, dead.

02-28-2011, 12:06 AM
Uh- no