[guamvixen]

For the past year, I've been living in my new, lighter body. I felt pretty carefree most of the time, and each time I read a post about someone having issues with "loose skin" or insecurity issues, I could relate to a certain extent, however I was never really down on myself until recently.

I am feeling so grossed out by myself. Yet I feel guilty that I am experiencing this because I know I worked really hard, and my body forgave me for the damage and **** I put it through over the years, and yet is was still able to give me the results I had strived so hard for. So the option of filling my loose skin back out isn't going to happen. I am happy with how I look. Dressed.

I was talking to DH about it yesterday, mostly because it's starting to affect the "bedroom" department. We actually had to stop during it the last time because I couldn't handle all the "jiggling". He was a true gentleman and assured me everything would be ok. But then there I go, like your typical woman, and started downing myself like some insecure little baby pointing out all my flaws and asking him how he could find what's left of me attractive. etc etc. Then he started pointing out the things he didn't like about himself. After he was finished, I realized I never noticed all those flaws he brought to my attention. None of it bothered me, and none of it was a big deal. I know his point was, if I don't notice his flaws, he isn't noticing mine. But WHY do I still feel this way?

I am working really hard to schedule "ME" time when I can. Our newborn is now 12 weeks old, and she's perfect. We both do everything equally for her, and he's really great support. I am able to still workout and make sure I continue to take care of myself, but I can't help this insane mentality that I am currently experiencing.

I just want to go back to feeling good, and carefree!! This was really just me venting, thanks for reading! I guess deep down, I was hoping I wouldn't ever get to this point.

[sept15lija]

I am at exactly where you are right now! The last time DH & I got close, I felt so insecure and he could see it, and I started pointing out all the problem areas. He doesn't know what to do with this - I like your DH's method of pointing out his own issues! Anyways it ended up with me saying that I need to work on this, and accept and love myself! I feel a lot of guilt for allowing this to happen to my body. I wonder all the time what I would look like if I had never weighed almost 300 pounds. Anyways it's a process, and you're not alone! And so happy you're scheduling me time for yourself - so important when you have a newborn!

[beerab]

*hug*

Your husband sounds like a great guy- I think you just need to remind yourself to enjoy the intimacy- he's not worried about jiggles during that time! He's worried about making you feel good and being intimate with you

I remember you posted about the skin issue before- are you going to get surgery for it? That might make you feel better honestly My boobs have hit the darn ground since this journey and I am a bit insecure about it but I told hubby I 100% plan on getting a lift one of these days lol.

[guamvixen]

I've thought about surgery. It's just so expensive and I can't seem to bring myself to justify it with a newborn! Plus I would have to save up for it, and we are currently saving for a new SUV. (family car) It is doable. But then my conscience kicks in and I just feel sorta selfish.

Thanks for the feedback ladies! I think I just really need to stop focusing on it if he isn't. I could care less what any other human being thinks of me! RIIIGHT! The ticker was when I wore shorts on Saturday and went shopping. I saw two ladies pointing at my legs and whispering making gross faces. I'd never worn shorts in public before. Since weight loss anyway, and now I know why!

[krampus]

I hope those ladies wind up under your SUV someday, guamvixen.

I'm sad to hear you're feeling badly about yourself but glad that your husband is an understanding and patient gentleman as far as it's concerned. I hope having a vent here has helped you feel better.

*big hug*

[JenB77]

...a little bit of postpartum perhaps? You have come an amazing way and have an awesome healthy future to spend with your precious little baby

[JayZeeJay]

Originally Posted by krampus

I hope those ladies wind up under your SUV someday, guamvixen.

Hee hee hee.
But seriously, what you likely don't realize is how many people are probably very envious of you. You are a fit beautiful woman with a wonderful husband and a healthy new baby. You've got the world on a string!
Life is far too short to let our occasional insecurities have any power over us. Most of the time, it's just as you described: we are the only ones that see our own flaws, yet we are perfectly capable of overlooking flaws in others. Let's be as kind to ourselves as we are to our loved ones!
And those rare nasty people like you encountered - well, just BEING one of them is punishment enough!

[martinimouse]

I wonder why we always think we are flawed? 99% of all women jiggle, lol. We are lumpy. bumpy and our men still love us. BTW, they can go bald, get a pot belly and get insecure too. I wish Hollywood would show real bodies in their love scenes. Find humour in it...tell your husband you want to get all jiggly! lol.

While I admit that I am having image issues, that I worry about how I will look when at goal, since i was much younger when I lose the weight before....I know that in the end, if i am saggy and baggy, it sure beats being 317 pounds again.

Congrats on the newbie!

[Lrn932]

There are serums and lotions that I believe jergens makes that is supposed to make your skin tighten up, it really helped my friend after she had lost 50 pounds and her extra baby weight, its cheaper and less scary than surgery. Just another sugestion, congrats on all of your accomplishments and your new addition guamvixen!!!

[tommy]

I had to get a real bra a bit ago rather than the sports bras I had been wearing. Oh my! All that extra skin. I could sorta squish it all into the bra and look like there was boobage, but ACK what if someone saw me in the raw.... And the stomach flap of extra skin, and the loose skin now on my legs..... But you know today I started a new adventure and I was astonished and in love with my body. I am starting a blog about the stairs in my area and was going to tackle 2 of them today. I could see more in the distance and found myself hiking through some rough terrain and breathing hard but not feeling tired in the least. That experience was a "god shot" that I need to embrace the good parts of the new me and just do the best I can with the saggy bits.

[kittycarlson]

I've always looked at your picture and thought how little and beautiful you are. What a transformation. Not that you weren't beautiful before but you don't look like you were ever fat.

I would say most new moms aren't happy about how their bodies look. There is a lot of stretching that goes on and if you are breast feeding it takes even longer for things to return to normal. I'm sure you will be more comfortable with your body six months from now. In the mean time you are a MOM. My youngest is twenty-eight and being a mom was and is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Plastic surgery is a nice day dream for me like winning the lottery but it isn't likely to happen. By the way it sounds like your husband is awesome. Mine would have never made those comparisons he would have just told me it didn't matter to him and that he was glad I lost weight.

I lost 120 LBS when I was young and only had an icky belly that was all scrunched up but fit nicely in clothes. The rest of me, except at close inspection, looked pretty good. I gained most of it back and am losing again twenty years later and now I have this creppy, loose, baggy skin all over and I still have 35 LBS to go!!!

I think some of it might be that I haven't been exercising enough this winter. Maybe if I grow some muscles they will fill in where some of the fat used to be? Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror and grab those handfuls of extra skin and fat I wonder if I should keep losing. But then I think about it and think this is a journey that is one part vanity and three parts getting healthy. For me to even get more active again and get into any kind of a fitness routine required that I lose weight. So far I haven't done much exercise or strength training but know I should. (I guess I'm in the contemplatation stage). As I was running up and down the steps one day I was thinking about how I used to avoid that trip. I can remember going down one foot at a time because I was afraid I would fall. I got winded and sweaty with almost no excertion. Now I don't even think about it.