Weight Loss Support - Fat face, thin body, left me with confused feelings......




Thin Desire
02-21-2011, 08:23 PM
I'm really not sure if this is the right section for this, if not mods, please change it. I feel super guilty for even talking about this even though this is an anonymous forum, and I'm not talking about anyone on here. But just guilt about talking about it, because it's not a criticism, just an observation.

So anyway, I've been heavy my entire life, I've never known any different, and my weight jumped to well over 300 lbs when I turned 14. I'm a guy btw. At any rate, my weight, however, has never been proportional. I've always had a thinnish face compared to the rest of me, and thin ankles. I only really started to get a double chin when I was in the upper 300s and lower 400s. I'm 6 ft tall.
And, when I lost over 100 lbs, and got down to the mid-250s, I lost all the excess weight on my face and neck, and even right now at 268, as it did in the past, my chest bone protrudes a bit. I like to feel it, gives me more gumption to go on. But my stomach is huge, like over or at 50 in. So, I dunno, genetics is weird. Naturally skinny grandpa gave me a thin face and neck and top, naturally fluffy grandma, gave me a big tummy and thighs.

So fast forward to now, an online friend (whom I don't know because of weight issues) and I decided to exchange photos. He is pretty average, like average weight and maybe a bit on the low side. Hates sweets, likes meats though, doesn't really try to diet, but is generally a small guy. Maybe, maybe in the overweight BMI now, but certainly not "fat". Maybe like 165, 170 now? And, so I show him a picture I took a chest and head shot from when I was just above 300 lbs, like 309, very nervously, and then he shows me a picture of himself. And, tells me, "now don't mind my face, I know it looks fat".

It's hard to put this into words, but to think he was so self conscious about his face after he saw my photo and then to top it off, judged himself as "fat" after a photo of me at 309 pounds (head and neck shot), is just patently absurd.

And, indeed it did, judging by his face alone, you'd guess upper 200s or lower 300s, but yet, his body is small in comparison like 165, 170.

So, I kinda felt guilty having him be so concerned about it, but I said it was fine, which it is, but yeah. So, the entire thing left me, once again, realizing the whole futility of the whole exercise in weight loss I think, that it all boils down to genetics and what you're born with. And, it doesn't mean I'm gonna stop doing what I'm doing, I've come too far, and it's for my health also. But it's just weird because basically we all come in various shapes and sizes, and it made me angry that he felt so concerned about something that should not matter. I mean, he really can't lose any more weight except maybe 10 lbs. And, once again it made me mad at the state of the world that this is even an issue. And, it really surprised me.

So odd post I know, just had to get it out, can anyone else relate?


Niecy
02-21-2011, 08:38 PM
I can so relate to YOU, I too have a very small head/face compared to my belly/hips/thighs. But I am not "apple shaped" I do have definition in my waist until I reach a certain weight, then my pear goes into an apple. The little head/big body syndrome is usually reversed when I get down to about 135ish, but the moment I hit the 140's, I mutate...I always laugh at myself and say how I look like the little head dude from Beetlejuice.

My husband has a very full face in comparison to the rest of his body. Sure, even though he isn't fat, he could stand to lose maybe 10-20 lbs at most but genetically speaking, I think he will always have a more round face.

While it may sound absurd to you, just like MY complaining of my little head with big body while being in normal (albeit high end) of BMI probably sounds valid to him. Maybe someone has teased him about this. Maybe this is truly what he is insecure about. We all have our flaws and then perceived flaws.

ShanIAm
02-21-2011, 09:26 PM
Maybe someone has teased him about this. Maybe this is truly what he is insecure about. We all have our flaws and then perceived flaws.

Yes, I completely agree. I was talking about this with a girlfriend of mine the other day who is my height but she weighs about 100 pounds. Her entire family is bone thin. But the other day someone called her an anorexic freak and she had a total meltdown. She told me that this happens to her quite a bit and no matter how much she eats, she can't gain weight. And believe me, this girl can put it down! Until this happened, I envied her to no end. And although she has the opposite problem I do, I realized that she has the same exact problem as I do. Which is insecurity about weight and how we are perceived by others.

I actually walked away thinking about how lucky I was that I could lose weight because she's sure as heck not able to gain any. For the first time, I felt worse for her than for myself.

And btw....I saw your stats...and wowzer! You are the MAN!