Support Groups - feeling soo bad crying as **** :(((




mylifestory852
02-20-2011, 01:46 AM
i will tell u guys something happened to me today was horrible and excuse me if u don't understand me well cuz my english not that good cuz i am Egyptian
soo what happened is me and my husband went to nyc to eat and go watch movie in the theater but this theater was not that big this is first time and the seats was tight for me and the thing that u put ur drink in and rest ur arm on not moving do u know what i mean?? soo the seat didnt fit i was shying it is really not good situation specially front of my husband it was bad bad bad and i told him that i am going to the rest room and i couldn't go back again i was sitting on the sofa out the room was crying and we left the place but he didnt say anything he didn't even say don't worry or any thing to calm me down
:((


Nola Celeste
02-20-2011, 04:08 AM
I'm sorry that happened to you. There are many, many others here who have had similar things happen at movies or amusement park rides or booths at restaurants. As for me, I broke a chair at the food court of the local mall--so embarrassing! I think a lot of us have been there. :hug:

You have already started making the changes that will lead you to health and freedom, though. From this day forward, you can make every day a little healthier, a little more comfortable. That painful moment is in your rear view mirror; you're getting farther away from it each day and watching it get smaller and smaller as you look back at it.

For what it's worth, I think they DO make movie seats too small, especially in older theaters. They do it to try to fit more seats in and charge more money, just like on planes. My husband isn't comfortable in them and he's 180 pounds, 6 feet tall, very average sized.

Speaking of husbands, I'm sorry yours didn't try to calm you. Sometimes men don't think of things the same way we do. If we're uncomfortable, it's our fault; if they're uncomfortable, it's the seat's fault. It's just how they think, most of the time. ;)

JOLINA
02-20-2011, 07:05 AM
Just stay on your diet for the next 12 months.
Then go back to the same theater a year from now.
You'll be surprised about how much wider the seats have grown over the past year.

Even my own patio chairs are growing larger.

:hug:


Vladadog
02-20-2011, 08:09 AM
I'm sorry wht should have been a fun night out on the town was so unhappy. Like Jolina said, if you just keep making healthy choices in a year (even in just a couple months!) you'll be amazed how much wider those seats have become.

As for your husband - my experience is he was probably thinking he'd done something to upset you. He couldn't figure out what it was so he was keeping quiet in case he said something else wrong.

bargoo
02-20-2011, 08:42 AM
So sorry for your experience. Your husband most likely just didn't know what to say. That doesn't excuse him, though.

mylifestory852
02-20-2011, 10:05 AM
thank u guys a lot for ur supportive comments.

i think thet i am very sensitive about these situations front of my husband because the problems between me and him getting bigger cuz of my weight
i feel baad and sorry but choked at the same time cuz he loved me as i am whether i am fat or skinny and after marriage he start to change and what he saying now that he need to c me in good shape and i agree with him totaly but that hurt my feeling too what i want to say that out marriage it depends on my weight and that make me under stress all the time and the fear that he gonna leave me if i will not lose wight , actually i dont know how he think like that. he never was like that i am broken heart.
i am sorry if i said a lot

Xaria
02-20-2011, 10:12 AM
:hug: Hugs :hug:

I am so sorry sweety!

TheBunneh
02-20-2011, 10:13 AM
:hug:

Have you told him that you are feeling insecure with him because of your weight? Sometimes we project our own feelings onto other people when in fact they weren't really thinking that at all.

Justwant2Bhealthy
02-20-2011, 08:40 PM
:hug:HI SWEETIE ~ One time we went out to eat in a restaurant and were surprised to find they had the smallest metal chairs with hard armrests that bore into your sides. We had to ask for another chair (or we were going to leave). We never went there again. We noticed that we were the only customers there that night. They soon closed down for good: I am sure that is why people stopped going there -- if you can't sit down comfortably to enjoy your meal, you won't go back there.

As you can see from my signature, I have lost lots of lbs and inches since then and can sit in all chairs now. You may not know this, but many theaters have a row or two of seats in the back where the sides lift up. I think it was so couples could cuddle, if you know what I mean; but many people just like them becuz they are more roomy. ;)

As for your huband, I'm sure he loves you: since he said he did, so take him at his word. Some men don't know what to say in situations like that; and I'm sure no-one but you even knew why you were crying ... so don't worry about that anymore.

Have a talk with your husband; and tell him how you feel. Ask for his support to help you get heathier over the next little while -- and that includes supporting you in healthy food and lifestyle choices for your whole family. You can go walking to a park or wherever each evening; and you can do activities as a family together. Easy toning exercises will also help you lose inches and can be done in your home.

Give yourself some time; and you will see a difference very soon ... :hug:

mylifestory852
02-20-2011, 08:54 PM
:hug: Hugs :hug:

I am so sorry sweety!

thank u:(

mylifestory852
02-20-2011, 08:58 PM
:hug:

Have you told him that you are feeling insecure with him because of your weight? Sometimes we project our own feelings onto other people when in fact they weren't really thinking that at all.

yea actually i told him but his replay was the same as i told u before

actually i have ben more than a year asking him to give me a chances cuz losing weight under the fear and stress not easy at all

mylifestory852
02-20-2011, 09:03 PM
:hug:HI SWEETIE ~ One time we went out to eat in a restaurant and were surprised to find they had the smallest metal chairs with hard armrests that bore into your sides. We had to ask for another chair (or we were going to leave). We never went there again. We noticed that we were the only customers there that night. They soon closed down for good: I am sure that is why people stopped going there -- if you can't sit down comfortably to enjoy your meal, you won't go back there.

As you can see from my signature, I have lost lots of lbs and inches since then and can sit in all chairs now. You may not know this, but many theaters have a row or two of seats in the back where the sides lift up. I think it was so couples could cuddle, if you know what I mean; but many people just like them becuz they are more roomy. ;)

As for your huband, I'm sure he loves you: since he said he did, so take him at his word. Some men don't know what to say in situations like that; and I'm sure no-one but you even knew why you were crying ... so don't worry about that anymore.

Have a talk with your husband; and tell him how you feel. Ask for his support to help you get heathier over the next little while -- and that includes supporting you in healthy food and lifestyle choices for your whole family. You can go walking to a park or wherever each evening; and you can do activities as a family together. Easy toning exercises will also help you lose inches and can be done in your home.

Give yourself some time; and you will see a difference very soon ... :hug:

i knoww i asked him to support me and he said if u wanna do something do not wait for me to support u that was his replay i am not sure what is gonna happen, but what all i know that i love him and i wanna lose the wight cuz i don't wanna hear any excuses any more
and thank u for ur support sweetie u ar guys awesome love u <3
]\

SunnyDC
02-20-2011, 09:09 PM
i feel for you and hope you start feeling better soon. maybe you can use his bad attitude as a way to show him that you can do this! i remember once my boyfriend at the time told me i was "visually unattractive" and after i cussed him out, it was also my motivation to show him that he would eat those words.

LightRaven
02-20-2011, 09:35 PM
Hey Mylife... I'm sorry that you had to endure that embarrassing situation! Your husband is no help either... and I'm sorry for that too!

Though... in my own experiences... whenever a person.. ie husband or boyfriend... starts demanding I lose weight- and regardless of whether or not I also wanted to lose weight- I have always ALWAYS shut down.

My last boyfriend.. who knew I was overweight before we started dating... and actually sought out women who were curvier or BBW's- actually started harping on me about my weight. And it was like.. "Whaaaat?" He knew how I was... said that he preferred it and then did a 360 on me. And even though I also wanted to lose weight, I could not with all the pressure.

The only time I have ever lost weight is when I have done it on my own free will and motivation. And In fact, I thrive more when I don't go around telling people that I am trying to lose weight because I can't deal with them scrutinizing what I'm eating. So screw it. I do it for myself (and my daughter! I want to be here forever for her!) and that is what is getting me through.

I know your husband can't take back what he said to you. He can't take back the pressure... nor can he take back the threat of ending the marriage (was it a threat?)... but you need to sit down and think:

Do you really want to lose weight? For yourself! Not your husband! For yourself! What are the reasons you want to lose weight? What goals do you have that if you lost the weight you would finally be able to do? Find what motivates you.. and run with it. :) :hug:

LR

Justwant2Bhealthy
02-20-2011, 09:51 PM
i knoww i asked him to support me and he said if u wanna do something do not wait for me to support u that was his replay

OK, from what you are saying, it doesn't sound to me like he's not willing to support you, but that he is saying "go ahead and do what you have to do; or what you want to do, or need to do about it". Again, some men just aren't good at this type of thing, so like LIGHTRAVEN says, just do this for yourself and your children (if you have any). Do it for your health.

Just take one day at a time; start tomorrow and make small changes. Have a light breakfast: cereal and fruit; Lunch: soup & sandwich OR sandwich & fruit. Then have one serving of your normal dinner, but add some veggies (at least 2 servings); you can have veggies and/or salad. Plan 1 or 2 small healthy snacks like an apple or banana, if you get hungry. This is the simple portion plan and a good place to start.

Walking is free and the best way to get started; simple toning exercises are easy too. You can even lift cans of food for homemade weights to strengthen your arms. YOU CAN DO IT; JUST GO FOR IT ... :hug:

SMSDREAMER2007
02-20-2011, 10:18 PM
You can do it. Don't worry about him once he sees the great progress you are making he will be so proud. YOU CAN DO IT!!! One day at a time is all anyone can ask.

Jaqs
02-20-2011, 10:44 PM
I am so sorry you went through that.. I have been feeling / noticing the same thing lately. Its a tough pill to swallow but I think of the outcome after I make this life change and hopefully I can look back on the situations and alugh

Izzadawn
02-21-2011, 10:17 AM
Bless your heart Mylifestorey!!!

Light Raven has a point you have to do this for yourself... Perhaps this is what your husband was trying to say???
I love my husband dearly but some times he has no clue what I need to hear.... Sometime ago I asked him if he noticed the weight I had lost... his response was "ya... but I was afraid to say anything 'cause I didn't want to Jinx it"

"it is not there fault, they are men"

LightRaven
02-21-2011, 10:31 PM
I love my husband dearly but some times he has no clue what I need to hear.... Sometime ago I asked him if he noticed the weight I had lost... his response was "ya... but I was afraid to say anything 'cause I didn't want to Jinx it"


Really? Didn't want to Jinx it? It would be more probable that upon hearing he noticed the weight loss.. you would be motivated even more. Men.. I swear :rolleyes: :lol:

LR

mylifestory852
02-22-2011, 08:29 AM
i feel for you and hope you start feeling better soon. maybe you can use his bad attitude as a way to show him that you can do this! i remember once my boyfriend at the time told me i was "visually unattractive" and after i cussed him out, it was also my motivation to show him that he would eat those words.

thnk u sunny :hug:

mylifestory852
02-22-2011, 08:31 AM
You can do it. Don't worry about him once he sees the great progress you are making he will be so proud. YOU CAN DO IT!!! One day at a time is all anyone can ask.

thank u for the motivation guys i know i really started the hard work todayyyyyy thank u swetie:hug:

mylifestory852
02-22-2011, 08:32 AM
I am so sorry you went through that.. I have been feeling / noticing the same thing lately. Its a tough pill to swallow but I think of the outcome after I make this life change and hopefully I can look back on the situations and alugh

thank you!

mylifestory852
02-22-2011, 08:37 AM
Bless your heart Mylifestorey!!!

Light Raven has a point you have to do this for yourself... Perhaps this is what your husband was trying to say???
I love my husband dearly but some times he has no clue what I need to hear.... Sometime ago I asked him if he noticed the weight I had lost... his response was "ya... but I was afraid to say anything 'cause I didn't want to Jinx it"

"it is not there fault, they are men"

thnk u, yea me too sometimes i need to here anything positive to motivate me

and i can feel the hard work that i did buttttt his answers freaks mee out:cry::cry:

mylifestory852
02-22-2011, 08:38 AM
OK, from what you are saying, it doesn't sound to me like he's not willing to support you, but that he is saying "go ahead and do what you have to do; or what you want to do, or need to do about it". Again, some men just aren't good at this type of thing, so like LIGHTRAVEN says, just do this for yourself and your children (if you have any). Do it for your health.

Just take one day at a time; start tomorrow and make small changes. Have a light breakfast: cereal and fruit; Lunch: soup & sandwich OR sandwich & fruit. Then have one serving of your normal dinner, but add some veggies (at least 2 servings); you can have veggies and/or salad. Plan 1 or 2 small healthy snacks like an apple or banana, if you get hungry. This is the simple portion plan and a good place to start.

Walking is free and the best way to get started; simple toning exercises are easy too. You can even lift cans of food for homemade weights to strengthen your arms. YOU CAN DO IT; JUST GO FOR IT ... :hug:



thank u :hug::hug::hug: