Maybe it's just me... but growing up in a family where everyone was super athletic... my weight (the actual number) was always a source of shame for me. Because I knew I weighed more than every one of my family members. My number has always been attached to shame. I am embarrassed about the number, itself. Not even how I look or anything... I'm getting more and more confident in that every day. But my actual weight number bothers me more than anything.
Maybe I have the all-too-common complex of "well I don't think I look 205 pounds... so would people think of me differently if they found out my weight? Would they see me as even more fat?"
I don't know... but anywhoo. My boyfriend and I are losing weight together (he's got a bet with his buddy and I would like to ditch the cellulite and feel like a sexy goddess queen) The problem is... we weigh like EXACTLY the same. I mean there is a 1.6 pound difference between us. Yuck. I hate that. Anyway... I do not want to tell him how much I weigh. And he says he does not want to know because he knows how self-conscious I am of my number. And he thinks if I tell him in a weak moment, I'll regret it for the rest of my weight loss journey. Totally see his point.. but at the same time I think I need to step out of my comfort zone and tell him. I just don't want him to judge me (he totally wouldn't) but my brain is all kinds of crazy when it comes to my "number". Grr, I don't know.
Anyway... on to the question. Do your significant others know your weight? If you don't have a significant other, do your family or any of your friends know? Any advice for me and my craziness? Anything (and I mean anything) you got would be greatly appreciated!
No. No one ever knew my weight. I really didn't know it for a long, long time. That changed because I wanted to scream it from the rooftops when I was actually losing it. Now, that shame is gone. I've gone from 130 to 160 since and still don't find any shame in disclosing my weight. I'm back down to 148 and when I hit my goal of 140 I'm sure I will once again be shouting it from the rooftop
As for DH, he always knows my weight now because I announce it when I lose a pound. I explain everything as "I'm 5 pounds from my wedding weight!" or "I was like 20 pouds heavier than I was on the day we got married". 140 may as well be 120 and 150 may as well be 200 for all I think guys can quantify weight on a girl.
I've been with my husband almost 20 years now and he has never known my weight. we've had discussions about the fact that I have gained 100 lbs since we've been together, but he has never known the actual number. I think he would be shocked so we just don't discuss it. Maybe once I hit my goal I will be able to tell him what my starting point was. I just can't wait until I weigh less then he does. lol
Best of luck to you and don't stress about whether to tell him the number or not. If you would rather keep it to yourself then do so.
i think he can tell just by looking at me. he estimates all the time, looking at wrestlers, boxing etc.
i think you could try doing measurements first. then when you've lost 10, 20 lbs you can say hey i lost blah, blah, blah.
i don't feel bad anymore about telling people how much i used to weigh. it adds to the accomplishment of how much i've lost. and i have to remember where i came from. some day that could happen again. and higher. that could've been me at 300 lbs. never know. so i have to keep it in check, and keep my family up to date on how i'm doing.
No. Well, sort of. My husband understands that I think the actual number of my weight is possibly THE most private piece of info in the whole world and he's never asked, even though we've tried many times to lose weight together. When we first met, I am sure I out-weighed him by a good 25 - 30 pounds. I still do, we've just gained a lot together. One of my goals is to weigh less than he does and the other is to have a number I wouldn't be ashamed to say out loud.
He accidentally found out my number when we were applying for new insurance. It was something they called to ask and I was busy with the baby. My MOTHER was even over! He yells across the house, how much do you think you weigh and I said...oh, I don't know. I just had a baby! I haven't been on the scale! So he says, they said your ob/gyn records say 260, does that sound right??? And I nearly died. God bless my mother, who pretended not to hear. I could have DIED. Luckily he was so much in "fact finding mode" that I think the numbers just washed over him without leaving any impact. As much as I thought that would motivate me to get started, I have since weighed as much as 293. Sigh. At least I'm on the way DOWN now!
My husband and I use an old medical scale from a doctor's office (the sliding scale kind with the large weight on the bottom that moves in 50# increments and the small one on top that adjusts per partial pound).
At first, I would hop on when he wasn't around and, as soon as I'd finished, set both weights back at 0 so my guy wouldn't know exactly how much I weighed. When I finally decided to do something about my weight and take charge, the first person to whom I told my actual weight was my husband. Now, he's my biggest cheerleader I don't "reset" the scale after I hop off. Now, when my husband gets on right after me, he'll say, "Did you lose another pound? Isn't this a pound down from what you weighed last time?"
It's lovely to have the accountability and support at home
No one in my "real" life knows my actual weight, including my husband (who is also losing weight!) It's kind of a "don't ask, don't tell" situation, lol. I'm sure he has a pretty good estimate though. He knows how much I've lost, he knows about where I want to be and about how many more pounds I still want to lose...so anyone with simple math skills can get pretty close.
I have ocassionally posted some weight loss posts on Facebook, i.e. "down 2 lbs this week!" or whatever. I no longer say how much total weight I've lost (I quit doing that after the first 50 lbs. I guess I didn't want people to know how much I actually had to lose.)
Though I'm very proud of my weight loss accomplishments and not necessarily totally ashamed of my current number (being in onederland is a big ego boost!), I'm still extremely embarrased about my starting number...if I give too much information about my current weight to people who know about how much I've lost, it's pretty easy to figure out where I started.
Last edited by NorthernExposure; 02-15-2011 at 09:51 AM.
No. Well, sort of. My husband understands that I think the actual number of my weight is possibly THE most private piece of info in the whole world
^ This.
My husband has asked once or twice, but I've never told. He estimates me at 200 ish - bless his little heart and bad bad eyesight. I'm currently 249. When I hit goal, I will let him know how much I lost. For now, it's my private knowledge.
I like knowing that I have someone who can see my number and say things like "way to go that's another pound!" or after a bad week say something encourageing. He was really the only person I told for awhile tho. However not to long ago my cousion was complainig that she still had a ton of baby weight and wanted to "shot herself for letting herself ever get to 211lbs." SHE WAS 8 MONTHS PREGNANT WITH TWINS!! Yes, before that she was a little overweight but after she said that I felt so horrible that i weighed almost 50lbs more without ever having a child. I told her and my sister my sartjg and current number and they were both surprised.
Yes. Always. Like katy trail said (katy I feel like I'm agreeing a lot with you lately :-D), it helps add to the accomplishment. It also helps me stay accountable. I told my boyfriend how much I weighed and how much I wanted to weigh as a New Year's resolution. Now when I tell him "I'm down to (whatever weight)!" he can get excited and remind me how many more pounds I am to my goal. Or when he asks (to be supportive, not annoying) where I am I can tell him and it motivates me even more, because I feel that much more accountable.
Guys are pretty bad at guessing weight and clothing size, so I don't think most would put too much stock into a number if you told them. Regardless of whether they think a girl weighs less or more than a certain number she still looks the same to him. I don't know, I guess it's just an individual choice and depends on whether sharing that information will help motivate you or make you more self-conscious.
h4a5r My family is also all smaller than I am. My brother and sister both lost a lot of weight ~50lbs each. My parents always have been slim. I am now the "fat one". Plus my boyfriend's family is all naturally very slim. Which is one of the many reasons why I want to lose weight.
I share my weight with the people I'm closest with in my life. My sister knows, we tell each other everything. My boyfriend knows too, he doesn't care about my weight. He just wants me to be happy and healthy. Though before I told him I made him guess and he guessed about 15lbs lower than what I actually am. That was awesome.
My husband didn't know until I had a recent stay in the hospital and they'd ask me my weight in front of him or announce it when I was on the scale with him in the room.
This was after I lost 20 pounds as well. Doh! He's 6'2" and started losing weight once he hit 214 because he felt fat. Until he hit his 30's he was 145-155 pounds (Jerk! ) so I really didn't want him to know I was started at near 250 - 270 at 9 months pregnant!
My husband knows. He is my biggest support for when my weight goes down -- and when it goes up too.
Plus, with how much I focus on managing my weight, I would feel a little insane if I kept things secret. Especially since I share everything else that happens with my body. (I think he knows far more than the average man about the changes that happen in a woman. the poor boy. LoL )
I update my husband on my weight multiple times per week and I have my weight up on my blog for anyone who cares to surf over there from my Facebook page. My attitude is that the weight thing is just a number that's pretty specific to me so it's hard for anyone else to really interpret it. Plus anyone and everyone can just look at me and see how fat or not fat or whatever I am so there's not much worth hiding by keeping that number under wraps.
I think I was a little shyer with telling my husband my weight before I started losing because I was in a bit of self-denial as well. But we're pretty transparent with one another - I really couldn't imagine caring about it so much myself and not letting him in.
Yep. Actually, just about everyone knows now a days. I'm not overly proud of the number, but I'm not particularly ashamed of it. Now, I feel like it's stating the obvious- I have brown hair, green eyes, and weigh 205 pounds as of this morning. I don't feel like it's any big secret- like people can't look at me and know that I'm overweight. And while some people are surprised to find out how much I weigh, I don't feel like it changes their perception of my size. Instead, I find it kind of a confidence boost for myself. My weight isn't shameful, it's just a current description. I used to weigh more, I will weigh less. Right now I weigh 205 pounds.
Do your significant others know your weight?
I don't "reset" the scale after I hop off. Now, when my husband gets on right after me, he'll say, "Did you lose another pound? Isn't this a pound down from what you weighed last time?" 
the poor boy. LoL 
