Faith Based Support Groups - Advice plz.

View Full Version : Advice plz.

02-10-2011, 06:21 PM
hey guys,
so... ive been fat my whole life and i jsut started to gain my confidence in God for myself. its soo hard to tell myself i need to loose weight tho. like ive had a couple of people around me die lately and they were in peck physical the hype about beign fat is going kill you is soo a joke to me.
i feel like God wants me to let go over the issu. but i mean i just cant i want to be slimmer. i want to feel good about myself i want to be free of this monkey on my back which is my weight. the other day i was accused of being vain. it really hurt that person has always been materialistic and vain herself but still, i dont want to run the risk of loosing my relationship with Christ over my weight. this weight issue has really been an opening in my life for pain. i love my body and have been starting to take care of it but i guess the question is if any Christians here have any advice on how to stay humble but want to feel better about the way you look. how can one take care of them self and stay humble

02-10-2011, 06:29 PM
Recognize that your body and its health are gifts from God. Do you tear up gifts from loved ones?

Scripture teaches us that our bodies are the temple of God, since God dwells in us. Would you have Him dwell in a house that is falling down?

It sounds like you've been mistreated for your weight. Would you have people think less of your God on account of your appearance or would you rather people see that He has provided you with the opportunity for strength, health, healing, and joy?

Don't let anyone be an excuse for giving up on your health, your joy, or your God.

02-10-2011, 06:52 PM
I agree with Sea- it is not vain to want to be healthy. He would not want you to be unhealthy or unhappy.

I'd tell that person it's not up to her to judge whether you are vain or not. Honestly sounds like she's just jealous you are trying to better yourself and your health- which is perfectly acceptable.

02-10-2011, 09:27 PM
Hi Lil Crazy,

Just because somebody says your vain, doesn't mean you are vain. I have a question for you. Do YOU think you are vain. Do you feel like God is telling you, you are vain? If you answered no to both of those questions. Then no, you are not vain.

To me, it sounds like you are trying to make a change for the better. You are learning to focus on what is good, and wonderful about you, and you are recognizing that Satan tells you lies, he always points out the negative.

Change doesn’t mean you never make a wrong choice or have a wrong thought. It means you understand that those choices and thoughts don’t defeat you. They are parts of all of our lives. Throw them away. Don’t dwell on them. They are over the past is the past.

You said you have been hurt all your life because of your weight. When your constantly being hurt, your emotions are stunted, and emotions stay childlike. I was hurt as a child also, and even when I became an adult, I got my feelings hurt easily and would dwell on negative comments and situations longer than a person who had a happy childhood.

The emotionally healthy person might take a negative comment or thought and brush it off, but because I had been hurt I let it into my inner core. I would dwell on it for hours and days. I would try to justify myself. Try to make sure that everyone else knew I was okay. Even something said in a joking manner I would let in. I didn't know who I really was so I allowed others to define me. I didn’t know my value , so if someone said something bad about me I was afraid the person could be right, so I would dwell on it.
Through the years God has shown me how much He values me, and He is the only person who defines who I am.

When I see myself in the reflection of His eyes, I can see my true beauty. And when He showed me my true value, I could see how valuable ALL people are.

Don't worry about what others say about you. Ask Jesus. He says in His Word that you can ask Him for wisdom.

James 1:5 (New King James Version)

5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

Say, Father, this person says I am vain, am I being vain? He will tell you. You will start to hear things about the topic, and you will know, what is right or wrong.

Isaiah 30:21 (New King James Version)

21 Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying,

“ This is the way, walk in it,”
Whenever you turn to the right hand
Or whenever you turn to the left.
Love, Kelli

02-11-2011, 04:26 PM
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be healthy and well. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel comfortable in your body. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look presentable and neat -- nothing there is vanity.

I think being vain is when someone is obsessed with oneself to the point of neglecting matters of more importance; or, not being able to care about others, as in self-centered. So I wonder what your friend believes vanity is? To me, it is when someone is more concerned with how they look on the outside, than the inside (ie their character or behavior).

I believe by eating and living in a healthy manner, that I am taking good care of my body as much as I can. It doesn't show as much as I would like; and I have been trying to live this way most of my life, and GOD knows that even if others don't. The LORD knows your heart and your true motivations; and HE is the one who counts the most.

I think there is a fine line between realizing that GOD loves us just the way we are because our spirits are more important than the shell/body we live in (which is temporal), but that we can live in a healthy way, without obsessing about it too. I think both are reasonable; and one belief doesn't necessarily contradict the other.

The LORD does care about our physical well-being; HE spent a lot of time healing people when HE was here (Matthew). HE also cares that we have food to eat; HE did miracles of providing food at least 3 times (Matthew & Luke).

I think that you can be humble and take care of your body; if you are sick, you go to the doctor. If you are hungry, you eat. If you are tired, you sleep. Humility isn't necessarily the opposite of vanity: but being Haughty can be -- that is, being arrogant & conceited & judgemental of others. I think that you can show love for yourself by taking care of yourself. :D

I hope this helps you feel better in some way ... :hug:

02-12-2011, 10:47 AM
thank you guys soo much. this does make me feel better . lately ive just been really confused about how to find the proper motivations to loose weight. ive been really just all over hte place most of my life and now that ive allow God to really enter into my life its just been really hard because you know that sometimes he brings things to the forefront and then you kind of dont know what to do about it after you know. its like i dont think he leaves me high and dry that's not what im saying im saying that i dont know where to begin with self improvement i feel empowered to be the girl he wants me to be but also feel confused about my motives for that. all the hesitation and analysis has got me frustrated and actually kind of bitter towards God i love Jesus but its so hard sometimes to know how to go about a good thing in the right way you know. i wish He would talk back about certain things.
have any of you guys ever tried fasting. i feel like a failure every time i do . because i realize food does control me . its so embarrassing but it really does and i wish i know how to let God fix it . i know i asked him too but im not sure if i want him to you get me.
btw thank you soo much for responding guys .. i really do appreciate your time

02-12-2011, 11:50 AM
You sound like me about 21 years ago. I started going to God, even when I was mad at Him, and writing what He told me. It ended up being a Bible study. I have published it on It's free, (cause God gave it to me for free). You can download it, and it is chock full of scriptures. There are so many diets, and all of them claim to be the truth, but the truth is, it's not the food that has to change. God showed me the reasons I overate, and once I knew that, the weight came off naturally.

He showed me that I was defeating my weight loss, with my thoughts.
He showed me that dieting, restricting, counting calories and carbohydrates, were all Satan trying to distract me from my purpose.
He showed me so many things, that if I wrote them here I would be writing the study all over again. You can also get the study at, but the smashwords one is in PDF, and probably easier to download.

I want you to know that I am praying for you, and I know, that if you seek God, He will give you the desires of your heart.

Love, Kelli

02-15-2011, 02:32 PM
Kelli i appreciate this soo much its been so helpful already. alot of my fears are being addressed. you should look into publishing it

02-15-2011, 08:25 PM
I am so glad it's helping. I am waiting on God about the publishing thing. He has promised me that it would help people, and that's all I really care about to tell you the truth. There is no greater joy, than to know that you can help somebody through something that you have been through yourself. Thank you for your encouragement, it makes my day! No, it makes my year... anyway it means more than you know.

02-15-2011, 08:28 PM
Wow, I just noticed that on the post before yours that I said You sound like me about 221 years ago. hehe, I would be like the Old Testament guys that lived a very loooonnnnng time. I fixed it tho. :o :D