Weight Loss Support - Meeting old work buddies--dont know how to respond about my weight loss...
02-07-2011, 08:39 PM
I don't know why I am nervous. These ladies are great friends, but we don't work together anymore and the last time one of them saw me I was at my highest. I am private, and don't announce to all that I am pursuing weight loss. So we are meeting for dinner Thursday and they have NO clue I've lost sixty-plus pounds. I don't do Facebook, so I know they don't know what I look like now. Shouldn't I be proud? Instead, I'm like, "geez, what do I say when they go, "wow, you've lost so much weight""
I'm realizing that I'm not too keen on being the center of attention. Anyone else go through this, or have a similar experience?
02-07-2011, 08:59 PM
Oh my, I am the same way!
I recently (inadvertently) LIED to a classmate who said, "Wow, have you lost weight?" The first thing that popped out of my mouth was, "No, I just have jeans on today instead of my work clothes."
I don't even know why the heck I would say something like that...it just came out of my mouth for no reason.
I've lost weight in the past too, and I was getting TONS of people at work commenting, stopping me in the halls, etc. I really didn't like the attention.
While I can relate, I don't have the best advice...it's probably best to smile and just say, "Thank you!" or, "Thanks, I've been working at it" and then just let them talk and move on.
02-07-2011, 09:07 PM
My typical response is "Thanks, I've been working on it," and then ask the someone in the group a question about something else and try to make sure the conversation doesn't stay on weight loss. If they want to ask more questions, they have to make an effort to bring the conversation back to weight loss. Personally, I'm not hugely fond of talking about it...with some people, I don't mind, but I'm not one for being the center of attention either :)
02-07-2011, 09:10 PM
I can't wait until I have this problem. lol.
I will probably say thanks, I worked really hard for it. Now what have you been up to?
02-07-2011, 09:14 PM
When someone asks if I have lost weight I say "Yes, and I did it on purpose." That way they won't think I have some debilitating disease. Be prepared though , they may not say anything. Sometimes they are afraid that you may have been ill or they might be unsure of what to say.
The most interesting comment I have heard was when someone said she only recognized me by my voice.
02-07-2011, 09:29 PM
I'm private about my weight loss, too ... just who I am. I'm w LTs girl ... thank them and then try to get the attention back on them. There's usually at these one in a group that loves chatting about their world!! Good luck
02-07-2011, 09:58 PM
Yeah, I plan to take the advice. If they don't say anything I'll be surprised, though. I'm young(ish) so I don't think they'll think I'm ill. I'm just wondering why I'm nervous about this, rather than being excited.
02-07-2011, 09:59 PM
The phrase I can't wait to use is something like, "Thanks for noticing! I felt it was time for some changes, so I made them. But tell me what you've been up to, because you look great/happy/stylish/terrific with that haircut/[other appropriate and truthful compliment]!"
There's an acknowledgement of the compliment, a deflection of attention from you to others, and some kind words all wrapped into a few sentences. :)
As others noted, you might find yourself quite surprised; they may not comment at all. Some people just won't comment on another's weight--they consider it too private a topic, they worry that it might be unintentional weight loss, or they've always just seen you as you regardless of your size.
I think it's awesome that you're getting to spend Thursday night out with friends. No matter what the subject of conversation, you're bound to have a lovely evening just catching up with them. :)
02-07-2011, 10:08 PM
Nice touch Nola! :-)
02-08-2011, 12:30 AM
I like it, Nola!
02-08-2011, 02:02 AM
I guess I'm alone in my wanting to talk about it. When people ask how much I've lost I have no problem telling them how much and how I did it. Usually that's as much as the convo goes. I have found that after they asked I felt bad for telling one co-worker because she stopped eating the cookie she had just picked up, but otherwise, I'm a fairly open person and I'm not ashamed to admit I lost it or that I had gotten that heavy.
02-08-2011, 02:02 PM
Totally with you on that! I have no idea how to respond to such comments, and I too have lied and denied weight loss (haha crazy I know)
I just find it so awkward. Its so noticeable to people who havent seen you in a while though so their gonna know haha
Lately I've really been trying to own it and be proud of what I've done. Usually a simple answer and change of subject works well! Maybe return the compliments!
02-08-2011, 02:10 PM
How did it go??
02-08-2011, 02:23 PM
At first I was really happy for people to notice my weight loss, but then I started getting really annoyed at the tactless comments. My fiance's Mom has seen me at my new weight for months now, but every few weeks when we get together at least half her conversation is "I can't believe how much weight you lost!" It's really gotten old. I have lots of things in my life, and my weight has always been just a small part of who I am. But when I see people I haven't seen in a while, it is the ONLY thing they want to talk about. And whenever they say "you look so good now" I always hear "because you looked like crap before." Which I did, but still, I don't want to be reminded of it. I feel I'm getting complimented more on no longer looking like crap than I am on looking good. I don't really want to have The Diet conversation with anyone. Skinny people have NO IDEA what it's like having been fat, so it's as if you're speaking a foreign language to them. And I get the vibe from people who are still overweight that I'm hurting their feelings for losing weight when they haven't. One overweight female cousin threatens to "take me out back" and beat me up whenever she sees me, and I'm not sure she's joking. I NEVER bring up my weight loss and I'd never suggest to someone who is overweight that he/she should lose weight because I know how awful that feels. Still, I feel that she thinks I'm judging her.
02-09-2011, 05:14 PM
I smile and say "I'm condensing" and change the subject. I've always felt that personal remarks are in bad taste anyhow so avoid them.