Pregnant - Nursing - THAT is a line!




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Shmead
02-05-2011, 09:22 AM
I tested this morning and had a positive pregnancy test. While I would like to, in the fullness of time, lose another 15 lbs, this is, for all intents and purposes, my goal. It’s pretty self-indulgent to post 1000 words of my pregnancy odyssey, but I feel moved to put it down somewhere—and you all can skip it if it is too blah blah blah.

In late June of 2009, after nearly ten years of marriage, my husband and I finally decided that we wanted to be parents. We’d both gone back and forth on the issue before, but there were some huge obstacles:

1. I weighed 300 lbs
2. I had PCOS
3. He has a terrible genetic form of rickets, a painful, nearly untreatable degenerative bone disease.
4. He has a very low sperm count (though we didn’t know this at first).
5. We were in significant debt.

I’d tried to work on each of these problems in the past just in case we decided we wanted a baby, but that was never enough motivation. It wasn’t until we made the commitment as a team that we were able to start chipping away.

I knew we’d need to use reproductive technologies of some sort—probably IVF and genetic analysis of the embryos to select the ones without my husband’s disease.

The first thing was diet and exercise for me, of course: for the first time, instead of making a diet into a 6 month period of self-denial and pain, a sort of ritualistic punishment for the sin of being fat, I sat down and put the time into coming up with a sustainable plan. The weight started coming off at a very nice clip (it’s easy at 300!). I also started directing as much money as I could into paying off debt.

By January 2010, we were out of debt and I was down to about 230—a weight where I thought a doctor would talk to me, but not one where I thought I had the best possible chance of success. I also really wanted to do IVF in the late summer, to time the baby’s arrival with early summer the next year: I am a teacher. Also, we didn’t have as much money saved as we would need.

So while I continued to lose weight, we totally revamped our spending. This was more my husband’s project than mine. We gave ourselves very strict spending levels and he starting keeping up an elaborate, itemized spreadsheet. We discovered that just like counting calories, carefully recording purchases makes a huge difference. We started being able to save close to 50% of our net income, enough to make us realize that we could afford to have him stay home after the baby was born.

By August 2010, everything was roses. My weight was under 170 (BMI was 28), we had enough money in the bank to cover IVF (insurance didn’t cover much, and we were basically having the most expensive IVF possible, what with all of our issues). The whole thing had been like a musical montage: once we made the choice, we just rolled out of bed and BAM! made it happen.

Then the IVF was a disaster. Everything looked good leading up to egg retrieval: no side effects, great response to stims, lots of follicles, and then in quick succession: only 9 eggs (damn, bad sign but not the end of the world), then only two fertilized (very bad sign) and then, literally when I was sitting in the waiting room, bladder full as ordered, waiting to go in for the transfer, we find out that those two had multiple genetic defects. Those five days were the worst emotional roller coaster of my life. I felt like we were holding on to a glimmer of hope while things just got darker and darker.

So I had a bad several days. Then we moved on to plan B: artificial insemination with donor sperm (IUI). My husband was fine with this—had in fact suggested starting with it, but I wanted to try using his genetic material first (I do think he’s pretty cool, after all, and can be sentimental like that) but after the IVF went so poorly, it seemed likely that not only was his sperm low in quantity, it might be low in quality, too (he had a LOT of chemo as a child) and that further expensive attempts were unlikely to be successful.

So we waited a month, tried a donor cycle over Thanksgiving 2010. It failed. Then we waited another month for some additional tests (doctor wanted to do them earlier but I convinced him to let me try one IUI cycle first) and they all came back good. So we tried a second cycle this January. I was SURE this one was a bust. I was getting all the signs of an impending period. But this morning I saw a second line. It’s too early to be too confident: pregnancies end at this stage all the time. But still, after 18 months of shaping my entire life around getting pregnant, it was awfully nice to see that line.


sacha
02-05-2011, 10:07 AM
Congrats :) You guys have been through the ringer! What a miracle and a blessing. Any idea of a due date yet?

Shmead
02-05-2011, 10:15 AM
Thanks! Mid-October, by the calculators. Not so great for a teacher, but I am too old to only try for a summer date!


sept15lija
02-05-2011, 10:20 AM
Oh congratulations!!! I am so happy for you! It took us 3 years to conceive DS, and I know how heart wrenching it is...and how amazing to finally see that line!! :) :) :) :) :) :)

booskibabe
02-05-2011, 10:31 AM
Congratulations! I know well the emotional roller coaster that is trying for a baby. It tok us nearly 3 years and multiple rounds of Clomid to conceive our first. It is such an emotional rush to finally see that second line!

runningfromfat
02-05-2011, 10:59 AM
Congratulations! You guys have really been through the ringer and it's so wonderful to hear that you were able to get pregnant after all that! It's inspirational how you both were able to loose the weight and get your finances on track. Good luck and here's hoping that you have a wonderful baby in your arms in Oct!!!:D

Shmead
02-05-2011, 11:21 AM
Thank you everyone! I am really very happy, but also pretty overwhelmed: I've been thinking "when I am pregnant" or "if I am pregnant" for so long that it's a hard habit to break!

berryblondeboys
02-05-2011, 11:24 AM
wishing you lots of positive vibes! You worked so hard to get here too!

JenMusic
02-05-2011, 11:29 AM
Congratulations! I've known from your previous posts that this has been at the center of your life for a long time now, and I'm so happy for you and wish you the best! :)

ParadiseFalls
02-05-2011, 12:12 PM
CONGRATULATIONS!! I'm so happy your life has turned around. Good luck with everything :)

sept15lija
02-05-2011, 12:52 PM
Thank you everyone! I am really very happy, but also pretty overwhelmed: I've been thinking "when I am pregnant" or "if I am pregnant" for so long that it's a hard habit to break!

Yup, it is very overwhelming and takes time to sink in - especially if you don't have any symptoms (yet)!! Oh my, you are giving me baby fever, and my little one has only just turned a year. My DH is not going to be happy with you!!! :lol:

ScarlettDrawl
02-05-2011, 01:27 PM
Congratulations!

saef
02-05-2011, 02:39 PM
I'm so glad to read this post and to share your happiness in this good news. I've really enjoyed reading all your posts -- they're literate, funny & full of common sense, & obviously originate from someone with a good heart -- & have wanted something good to come to you. I'm glad you have related the history of your effort -- it's inspiring. You & your husband have worked so hard, for so long. What a reward, and how richly deserved. I couldn't imagine a better pair of parents for a child to have. I wish you a healthy, happy pregnancy, with healthy, happy baby at the end of it.

Nola Celeste
02-05-2011, 02:52 PM
Congratulations! Your posts have had such a positive impact for others that to read about good things flowing your way is especially wonderful. Nothing but the best wishes for you and your family. :hug:

Shmead
02-05-2011, 03:42 PM
I'm so glad to read this post and to share your happiness in this good news. I've really enjoyed reading all your posts -- they're literate, funny & full of common sense, & obviously originate from someone with a good heart -- & have wanted something good to come to you. I'm glad you have related the history of your effort -- it's inspiring. You & your husband have worked so hard, for so long. What a reward, and how richly deserved. I couldn't imagine a better pair of parents for a child to have. I wish you a healthy, happy pregnancy, with healthy, happy baby at the end of it.

Thanks! I've long admired your posts as well: I think we see women's issues in much the same way, and you have often better articulated something I've been struggling to say.

Congratulations! Your posts have had such a positive impact for others that to read about good things flowing your way is especially wonderful. Nothing but the best wishes for you and your family. :hug:

Thank you for your kind words! This board has been such a great resource for me--I honestly don't know how anyone lost weight without the internet. BTW, I've been meaning to mention that I love your avatar: we do a lot of table-top role playing over here, and it's always nice to see it's not an entirely lost art.

CanadianCutie
02-05-2011, 05:41 PM
Congrats!

usam
02-05-2011, 05:55 PM
CONGRATULATIONS!! Reading your post made me want to cry! I love happy endings! Good luck and hope all turns out well.

kifli
02-06-2011, 09:33 PM
Sounds like you of all people deserve much happiness.
I wish you the the best!

19Deltawifey
02-06-2011, 09:47 PM
Congrats!

Quail
02-06-2011, 11:09 PM
I read your whole post and wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS! On your successful conception, on your weight loss... everything! Excellent!!!!

Shmead
02-07-2011, 05:42 AM
Thanks everyone!

skygirl
02-07-2011, 12:10 PM
Wow, Shmead, amazing! Congratulations to you! You are an inspiration, and I am in awe of all that you have done. Thank you so so so much for sharing your journey. I wish you and your family every happiness! :hug:

Emme
02-07-2011, 12:18 PM
Congratulations ~ you have been through so much and I am so excited for you!! :)

Heather
02-07-2011, 12:27 PM
Thanks for sharing your story, and MUCH congratulations!!

specialk85
02-07-2011, 02:07 PM
:cheer2:CONGRATULATIONS!!:cheer3:

Latchkey Princess
02-07-2011, 10:53 PM
Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your story, I know what it's like to finally get that line after waiting what seems like an eternity (it took us 7 years to get our first). I'm very happy for you and your hubby and wish you a happy and healthy nine months.

Shmead
03-02-2011, 06:31 PM
Quick update: I had my first ultrasound today and everything looked great: good size, good heartrate, good position. I feel like I've spent the last month holding my breath, terrified that I would go in today and find the baby stopped growing/heart never started/whatever. I haven't had many symptoms, which is just one more reason to worry! I haven't even been posting here (or elsewhere) much because all I can think about is baby, and that's pretty boring.

Anyway, I'm breathing again now. Stuff could still go wrong, but I liked seeing that heartbeat.

Emme
03-16-2011, 04:56 PM
I'm glad to hear that everything is going well and that you and baby are healthy! I can't wait to start trying in November/December. I watch a ton of Baby Story shows and One Born Every Minute and it drives my husband nuts. :)

saef
03-16-2011, 05:02 PM
Shmead, I missed this post from earlier this month -- thanks, Emme, for bumping it up with yours -- and am happy to read of your good ultrasound & that the baby-growing project is going along quite well.

I'll take a monomaniac Shmead over a complete lack of Shmead, any day.

I've got a pessimistic imagination & so when people go silent, I worry that stuff is going wrong.

I'm glad you have checked in to tell us all is well.

cherrypie
03-16-2011, 05:25 PM
Congrats! I had a lot of fertility issues myself and it's such a blessing when things finally go right. Not that I ever stopped worrying mine you lol

hope things continue to go well!

Shmead
03-18-2011, 10:38 AM
Thanks for all the kind words. Everything still looks great, but I am not sure I'll really relax until we send this one off to college.