Weight Loss Support - I work hard for this! Grr!




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peanutt
02-02-2011, 10:24 AM
In the last few days I've had two separate people comment to me that it "must be nice" being able to lose weight so easily.

They are both older than me (over 50, I'm 28) and were commenting that they could never lose their extra weight because I'm young and have a great metabolism so the weight must just be falling off since I'm eating a bit better and they could never go for walks like I do at lunch because their knees are bad and it must be so nice to have it so easy.

I know I don't have to tell anyone here that it's not easy! Not one of these 50+ pounds have just "fallen off". They've all come off thanks to hard work and willpower and diligence to stick with the plan every single day. When I started this, my metabolism was so screwed up due to the years of bad eating and lifestyle.

I realize that these folks are making whatever excuses and reasons they need to feel better about themselves at the moment, but I'm so frustrated that I have to feel torn down so they can do that.


niafabo
02-02-2011, 10:33 AM
We'll let them know that it is really important to you and that you make it a priority and work hard.

It probably would be extremely hard for someone at that age with bad knees to loose weight. Not making excuses for them but it's hard for women to gain muscle period and by the time you hit 50 most of your lean muscle mass has disappeared if you didn't keep it up. I injured my knee really bad once and it took years to fully recover and let me tell you that walking on a bad knee is extremely painful so I sympathize with them.

Let them know that it won't be easy but if they are interested you'd be more than willing to help them set up a plan that works for them. They probably just feel really bad that they've lost their health and their youth and they honestly are a little jealous of you. XD

Tea Granny
02-02-2011, 10:35 AM
They only see the results, not the hard work that goes into them, especially if you don't spend all of your time whining about how hard it is. Take from me an over 50 though - it is easier to do this huge life change at your age than when after you hit menopause - trust me on this :) ( I am sooooo kicking myself for waiting this long!) You are to be congratulated on your hard work and perserverance - just give those nay sayers a sweet smile and say something about learning your life lessons early:)


JessandEmma2011
02-02-2011, 10:36 AM
Don't let them hurt you! You already know they are using this language toward you because it is a defense mechanism: they want what you are achieving, and feel they need to make you feel a little bad about it to make themselves feel better, and have excuses. Even if they are a little older and a little ouchy-er (heehee), they can still move their bodies a little and eat healthier. You just have the dilligence to do it, right now. Do your thing girl, and don't let anyone make you feel bad about getting healthy!

JoJoJo2
02-02-2011, 10:43 AM
Peanutt, you have had to work hard for the weight loss you have achieved, and you should be very proud of yourself. Just smile sweetly when such comments are made, and say "Thank you very much."

You don't need to feel particularly sorry for the senior citizens who say that they can't lose weight. So many of the seniors get too set in their ways and habits to make a change in their lifestyles.

I lost over 60 lbs. while in my 70's, and while it wasn't all that easy, it sure can be done!!! I'm 84 now, and cheerfully maintaining the weight loss. :wave:

peanutt
02-02-2011, 10:47 AM
Please don't get me wrong, I completely understand that making lifestyle changes like this only get more difficult as we age. I understand that it may be quite painful to even walk with bad knees. But none of that can prevent someone from attempting a lifestyle change in whatever ways they can change - moving more, eating better, drinking more water, eating differently, etc.

M0vingon
02-02-2011, 10:49 AM
They only see the results, not the hard work that goes into them, especially if you don't spend all of your time whining about how hard it is.

There's the answer! You have to start complaining more :devil:

Seriously though, don't let them make you feel bad. You deserve to feel great about your progress!

Sum38
02-02-2011, 11:00 AM
Jealousy! My 80 year old mom just lost 50 pounds. She joined the gym, hired a personal trainer. Nutritionist helped her with her meal planning. -- AND she had a mild stroke about a year ago....if she can do it, anyone can do it!

It is easier to stay heavy than shed the weight. -- I stayed heavy for years and blamed anything and everything under the sun, until I was finally ready to take 100% responsibility and address the issue. 1 month and 11 pounds lighter...

Just answer back; eat less and move more ;)

Emmy1979
02-02-2011, 11:11 AM
It's pure jealousy. Just smile sweetly and say, "yes, it is nice." You don't owe anyone an explanation - you know how hard you've worked, and that's all that matters! I think it's fabulous that everyone thinks it's easy for you - it means you're not whining all the time about it, which means you are ahead of a lot of other people (me) that b**** all the time about it! LOL :D

Eliana
02-02-2011, 11:11 AM
Jealousy! My 80 year old mom just lost 50 pounds. She joined the gym, hired a personal trainer. Nutritionist helped her with her meal planning. -- AND she had a mild stroke about a year ago....if she can do it, anyone can do it!


Oh wow! Go mom! :D That's awesome she did that for herself!

I have a friend who has asthma and bad food allergies, including trees, garlic and soy. Her throat closes up with fruits and vegetables because the tree allergy is that severe. It is "harder" for her...and yet some of her "hard" is an excuse. It irritates me. However, she has never, ever complained that my weight loss has been effortless! :dizzy: I can't imagine. Yes, some people face more obstacles than others, but weight loss is not easy for anyone and EVERY person who loses a pound should be commended.

Sum38
02-02-2011, 11:13 AM
Thanks Eliana. My mom's name is Elina :) She was my inspiration. When she was taking smaller clothes than I :lol:

kaw
02-02-2011, 11:17 AM
Please don't get me wrong, I completely understand that making lifestyle changes like this only get more difficult as we age. I understand that it may be quite painful to even walk with bad knees. But none of that can prevent someone from attempting a lifestyle change in whatever ways they can change - moving more, eating better, drinking more water, eating differently, etc.

Exactly! I'm 42. I notice that it IS harder, in some ways, to lose fat as I age. In other ways, though, it's much easier: I have more money, more control over my schedule, and fewer temptations in the way of parties and nights out with friends (which usually involved beer and pizza) than when I was in my 20s. IMO, people who say, "I'm too old to lose weight" are just looking for excuses!

It's also entirely possible to maintain and even gain muscle mass as you age. I think I was nearly 40 the first time I had built enough muscle (and, yes, lost enough fat) to bench press my body weight. It takes work, but it can be done.

To the original poster: don't let 'em get to you! You know how hard you worked, and you can be proud of how hard you worked ... even if others want to poo-poo your efforts in order to make themselves feel better.

//b. strong,
Kim

berryblondeboys
02-02-2011, 11:21 AM
I have a good friend who is 60 and just lost over 100 pounds and is losing MORE. She joined nutrisystem, hired a trainer and then learned to cook for herself in a healthy way. She started out because her knees hurt her so bad when walking. So, initially, her weight loss was just calorie counting. Then, when she dropped about 70 pounds, she started to walk, and then, RUN!...

I'm 41 and you know what, the weight is coming off the same as when I was 28. I remember my mom saying around 40 that now that she was "OLD" that she would never be able to the lose the weight because her knees were shot, her metabolism wouldn't respond, etc. BULL!

While, I do think it is easier when you are younger, I think it has more to do with life stressers and demands than it has to do with anything else. Exercise burns calories, period and so does cutting back on junk in the diet.

But you are right, they are just trying to find excuses for themselves. WE KNOW what it really takes and you're doing great!

beerab
02-02-2011, 11:31 AM
Just be like "EASY! Do you think going to the gym an hour a day and counting every single bite I put in my mouth is easy? Let me tell you it's not, I'm working my butt off and I guarantee if you were doing what I'm doing you would lose SOMETHING. :)"

joyfulloser
02-02-2011, 12:38 PM
I notice that it IS harder, in some ways, to lose fat as I age. In other ways, though, it's much easier: I have more money, more control over my schedule, and fewer temptations in the way of parties and nights out with friends...

THIS^^! Also, please allow me to add...I'll be 44 in 2 months and I must say...this whole process has been EASY....I'm sorry, but it just has!:shrug:
I also know that there are many woman who put in MUCH MORE work than I do or would ever be willing to do, with much less results. Genetics and age CAN do DO often play a role in how fast our bodies let go of the fat and/or develop muscle.

That said...the people who said, "must be nice" to lose weight so quickly, may have actually meant just that...they "may have" been doing the EXACT same thing as you, but not receiving the same results. Example: Running makes my whole body strong, lean and builds a ton of muscle...not the same for MOST here at 3FC.../end case in point.:)

Donno what was intended by the people you are talking about...but just offering another "possible" view point!;)

In any event...:congrat: on your loss...you should be proud!:D

AZ Sunrises
02-02-2011, 01:00 PM
:) Oh the wench in me is screaming "Well, if you'd gotten off your @$$ 20 years ago, your metabolism would've been better. Oh you tried it then and failed too? Hmm...then I guess you simply failed."

Then again, I'm snarky like that.

KellyMarie90
02-02-2011, 02:22 PM
I agree with what a lot of the other posters have said-jealousy!
I've also had a lot of people tell me that they wish they could lose weight like me and I've gotten the "it must be nice." One day I got really frustrated with my friend who was eating a big mac and fries and made a comment that she wishes she could easily get into shape and eat "rabbit food" like me.
1. Oatmeal (the plain old fashioned kind-so nommy!) with nuts and fruits mixed in is not rabbit food-Its quite a hearty lunch IMO.
2. If you really cared like you say you do and wanted to change, you wouldnt be eating how you're eating.
3. If you wanna "get in shape" like me then do it! Talking about it isnt getting you anywhere.
So I agree, this journey has been a long, hard one. The commitment and willpower this takes is not something a lot of people are willing to (or capable) or doing and that bothers some people. Many people have commended me for this but most kind of belittle my work with the "I wish I had it that easy" comments. It wasnt easy..for the past 10 months I've eaten nothing but a balanced healthy whole food diet and I've literally worked my butt off in the gym.
Be proud girl! Congrats on your progress!

Larry H
02-02-2011, 03:12 PM
Peanutt don't give other people free rent in your head.

It matters not what others think or say only what you think.

Larry,
--------------
Those Who Judge
Don't Matter
& Those Who Matter
Don't Judge

Ashley829
02-02-2011, 03:28 PM
I've gotten comments at work when I said I didn't want to do another round of biggest loser because I didn't have much left to lose. Another woman said that must be nice but I said well I busted my butt to get here! She eats horrible so I know it comes from jealousy. If they diminish the importance of your success than it makes them feel better that they haven't done so well.

Initiative
02-02-2011, 03:47 PM
Just think of it this way. They probably got old being fat. They say that because at your age they probably didn't have the willpower to get the weight off. So they are using that excuse as to why they still aren't able to control there weight even after all this time. I would feel crappy too if I got to my 50's and was still battling my weight.