Hey there everyone. I have started reading this book and would like to join in this process. Is it ok to do that while still reading, or better to wait until done with the book? Could someone let me know, do we post our goals and how we are doing with them, listed as credits? I have struggled with consistency, the gain and lose and regain cycle, sugar addiction, and binge eating. I am hoping the tools in this book will help me make the process more conscious, make me more aware of the freedoms and choices I have and the things that I can do, and allow me to gain the knowledge and control I need to access my ability to lose the excess weight and then maintain. Thanks in advance for any info. :)
02-22-2011, 12:20 PM
one of my strengths is thinking on my feet in the midst of a "crisis". It helped me get through a potentially really disastrous situation in the past near week. I feel so blessed to have that strength!
I have been fighting the onset of a cold for the past week so I have been taking Emergen-C, still exercising and logging all my food.
I so feel for those of you who live amidst Nature's wonders and dangers like the fault line. I often wonder where we would be safe in this world. It seems there is danger all around us. So, my solution is to have my home an oasis, which it is, where I can go to be calm and serene. Living the "Serenity Prayer" also helps tremendously: accept the things we can not change, change the things we can and knowing the difference!
Walking more in large public spaces and outdoors. Not miles but steps and steps---maybe one mile.
02-22-2011, 01:47 PM
Quick check in today. My plan suffered a bit yesterday as I didn't get to eat my lunch, so I added in a bit more food for dinner. I said "no choice" to cookie cravings. Yay for strengthening my resistance muscle.
Tomorrow is my mom's birthday and I already checked the restaurant's menu and picked my meal and wrote it down.
I was down .6 today after gaining a bit yesterday. I am happy with my progress. SO grateful for this forum and for the knowledge I have gained over the last two months. I hope everyone has a wonderful day. Thanks for being here.
02-22-2011, 04:32 PM
Catching up on posts this week. I was in Tahoe skiing.
BBE: You are a good Guy and deserve chocolate at .99 cents but you deserve even more sanity. Good Choice.
Lexxis: Glad for the good news. A plan is a good idea.
Beverelyjoy. Here's hoping you get back in the swing of things. I went for a rocky weekend myself and it is scary to think it is time to settle in and work the program.
Onebyone: Credit to cooking from scratch.
RubyJan: Slow and Steady has been my whole journey. I have lost 1/2 pound a week on average which means I think it will stay off.
masondixonmama: Credit for drawing a line. I look at the clock and say (after a slip) if I start this minute by the time I wake up I'll be 12 hours on plan.
gardernejoy: welcome back after a week's absence. You are an inspiration to me,.
Pagamata: Hallejuah for walking.
MaryContrary: I echo Making a Plan for a Weekend. Mine wasn't working but I always struggle with them.
Everyone else : "Hi".
For me - another tough weekend. 2 pounds higher this morning but past history tells me I can get it off by the end of the week.
02-22-2011, 04:54 PM
Quick check in... 7 days until this madness is over... 7 days until my deadline. Yuck! I've been trapped in a "this is a new beginning - starting tomorrow" mode alternating with rational eating. Kind of a mess right now and just want to erase all of my day to day plans and schedules and "get my house in order", while noting that any time I take a "mental health day" to do just that, I laze around the house. In short, I'm stressed over my deadline and the lack of time to deal with life activities and I delude myself that some quality calendaring time will fix it. Nevermind the fact that as soon as i make that calendar up it is out of date. Like I said, 7 more days of this...
02-22-2011, 07:48 PM
My life has been busy and very emotional. The unchangeable event is over and can't be taken back. Our friends have so much love and support and really all we can all do right now is pray and wait….My DH finally cried at lunch today...we are all trying to remember our friend wouldn't want us to be sad. They are doing surgery today to move the ventilator to his trachea.
My eating since the day after the accident has been 99% OP while tracking calories (which is new for me). *credit* I know in my heart that my eating OP now will have a direct relation to how I process my emotions later when we know more about the long term prognosis for our friend.
~always eat while sitting
~weigh myself and track every day
~recording all my food.
~I bought a recumbent bike for our upstairs and logged 8 miles in 30 min this morning. I'm happy that I made it a priority to set up an exercise system in my home.
*could do betters*
~I am not writing down my plan the night before. (with my sister here, I rarely know)
BillBlueEyes, when I get to Boston someday you and my DH can discuss guys increasing numbers on barbells...I listen to him all the time. I commend you for the continual decluttering, which has such a strong emotional component. Despite our wanting to hold on, I'm fairly certain that letting go helps us think like a thin person.
skygirl, :welcome: Jump in however you feel comfortable! I started posting here as soon as I started my Beck books. Don't feel compelled to respond to everyone individually. For many, this group is a spot for accountability from the previous day.
jmaf, hope your DH is still recovering nicely. It has probably been busy for you. Are you still considering your hunger experiment?
RubyJan, sharing in your excitement of finding heaven in non fat yogurt with pomegranate seeds. Today I was overcome with happiness in being satisfied with my blueberries and NFY.
CeeJay, still counting down??
Beverlyjoy,glad you got through your procedure. I hope you got some rest afterwards.
Shepherdess, congrats! that you have changed your ticker and your weight is right on track! Happy calving! Glad to hear it's going well.
MaryContrary, what a helpful idea, going back and rereading your last post! I save all of mine and have thought about rereading but….just don't. Yay! for listing your goals for evening and tomorrow.
Cheryl(seadwaters), glad to hear you ditched a major project! That means less work, right?? I hope you are able to hop back into your ritual behaviours with ease.
ChefJoona,glad you are finally feeling better! Enjoy your recipe for tonight.
onebyone, I really like your Zone system!! It makes so much sense. *credit* for checking things off already. BTW-Congrats on finding your next residence, too!
gardenerjoy, so glad to hear you have found your special energy to get those last pounds off.
pamtanga, I'm so happy for your newfound ability to get some walking in. Steps and steps add up to miles.
Andrea(masondixonmama), yay! for saying no choice to cookie cravings. You said, "I am happy with my progress." *credit* That is such a healthy attitude for lasting weight loss.
maryann, I know it's old news….but I was so tickled to hear that your son is enjoying learning things in the kitchen. My bro is an excellent cook! I'm much younger, but when I was growing up he cooked meals for his family….still does.
FutureFitChick,... counting down the days with you! *credit* for checking in.
I will check in tomorrow with the South Beach forum, but not here. I am leaving here at 6 am with my sis driving West. I have a mandatory meeting Thurs. night and we're going to do an overnighter and get some skiing in. DH will stay home with pups.
Take care! Thank you all for your kind words during this very difficult time.
02-22-2011, 09:13 PM
Was just gonna read and catch up on posts, but then saw the reference from BillBE re: Stranger in a Strange Land. Yay for friends cool enough to give you a Heinlein treasure. My favorite quote of all time is from Time Enough for Love:
"Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks!"
Lazarus Long really knew how to live. Of course my living that way could have something to do with the weight struggle. Hmmm.
Only credit to report is continuing the Pilates sessions and feeling stronger. Might this be the spring where I actually am a bit in shape before diving into the gardening frenzy? One can only hope.
02-22-2011, 09:25 PM
I actually have two real people diet coaches at the moment, but am coming back to the program after a bit of relapse. I maintained my weight for about six months at five pounds above my lowest point, but wasn't losing because I essentially was on a maintenance version of the diet instead of dieting dieting.
So I went back to phase 1 of the South Beach Diet (I'm joined that subforun as well and am re-reading Beck--the original book. Not in order tho, one chapter a day that seems pertinent--i.e. I read about restaurants before going to a restaurant this week.
The real reason I am on this thread is ti change some habits that I just haven't been able to internalize--drinking water with every meal (and more) and the dreaded...dum de dum dumm...exercise, which I just find incredibly hard to do. I write down exercise on my food plan every day (I write each meal, allowable snacks and exercise every morning), but I just don't do it. I know, I know, ah, well...but could anyone share how they motivate themselves to actually start this habit?
02-23-2011, 06:27 AM
:welcome: skygirl :welcome:
And, in case you didn't get one of these two and a half years ago, :wel3fc:
How did you hear about the books by Dr. Judith Beck?
And how did you happen upon the Beck Thread here on 3FC?
02-23-2011, 06:28 AM
:welcome: Sharon (jicarilla) :welcome:
And even though you've been here a year, :wel3fc:
How did you originally hear about the Beck Diet Solution?
02-23-2011, 06:31 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Last night I faced a table of homemade goodies when friends did a slide show about their recent trip. I planned to have one of something and then stop. I had one. I stopped. CREDIT moi. I don't count the fresh strawberries which I ate for distraction as we stood about chatting with every one else stuffing themselves with baked goodies. I like the Weight Watchers notion that fruits and veggies have zero points.
maryblu - Love the Heinlein quote, "Everything in excess!" Glad you're doing your Pilates as prep for your gardening summer.
onebyone - Yep, digging into old stuff is emotionally draining. Kudos for your progress on your "zones."
FutureFitChick - Yay for the notion that there's only 7 more days of over load.
Joy (gardenerjoy) - Yay for moving along.
Debbie (Lexxiss) - Continuing to beam my supportive thoughts your way as you and your DH deal with your friends accident. Kudos for getting that recumbent bike for your home.
maryann - Ouch for a tough weekend. Glad you found an open road to get to Tahoe to ski.
ChefJoona - Love the reminder that Spring is coming. Good luck back at work after being out sick.
Andrea (masondixonmama) - Standing down those cookie cravings is worthy of a Kudos. Neat to plan ahead for your mom's dinner.
pamatga - Kudos for savoring small progress, per "Not miles but steps and steps."
skygirl - Join right in, right now. The most fun time to share is during the initial confrontation with trying the new strategies - frequently because of the shock that their deceptive simplicity uncovers some of our behavior we didn't know we had.
Feel free to design you own way of using the group of us as Diet Coaches / Buddies. You can see a bunch of different styles each day. Yep, posting progress against goals is a good way. Some folks have posted their Advantages Card (leaving off any that are too personal). Glad you've joined us.
Sharon (jicarilla) - That's super neat to have real life Diet Coaches - few of us have reported that. We'll be your backup coaches.
Yep, making exercise happen is a challenge if it has a negative connotation. It worked for me to start out by simply walking, initially only around the block when that felt like all I could do. What sucked me in was to design a group of routes where the houses, plants or wildlife interested me. You might try to find some exercise that you really want to do. We've had some avid Zumba fans here, for example. Glad you're here.
Readers - chapter 2
Experience the Difference
This time is going to be different because the Beck Diet for Life Program is different. Here is how:
. . .
It teaches you how to stay motivated. If you are like most dieters, you feel motivated during the initial weeks of any diet. But you don't know what to do when you motivation inevitably wanes. On this program, you will learn to motivate yourself every day through a number of techniques. You will continually rehearse the reasons you want to lose weight. You will give yourself credit for every positive eating behavior you use. You will create a Memory Box to store your positive diet-related memories: how terrific you felt the first time you successfully conquered a craving; how wonderful it was to buy clothing in smaller sizes; or how pleased you were when you received special compliments. You will read these positive memories often to remind yourself that it's worth mastering and using these skills.
. . .
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D, The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pgs 23-24.
02-23-2011, 07:34 AM
Really getting back into things, as I'm feeling better. It was hard being back at work- a lot of headaches that couldn't get solved. Oddly timed meetings had me eating lunch late in the day too.
Threw away extra dinner portion I took- had sabotaging thought about it going to waste and felt the urge to eat it, but reminded myself it would go to waste in my body too, so into the garbage it went.
We have lots of candy around from Valentine's Day. It is a struggle, but I am planning in a little treat each day.
Meals are planned and packed for today.
Welcome skygirl and jicarilla!
I very much relate to your challenges with exercise! I am still working to find my motivation. Walking/ hiking outdoors is an activity I really enjoy, but living in New England in the winter makes it very hard to do. I have never been able to establish a consistent gym routine either. I am interested in hearing what others offer as ideas!
Good day to you all!
02-23-2011, 09:43 AM
Hi Beckies - here's hoping, wherever you are, is having better weather than we've had this winter. It's cold where I love - yet, only an inch of snow on the ground. YAY
Yesterday my sister had major back surgery. It was six hours, five fusions and 5 or 10 medal rods. Yikes. I am hoping this will fix all the problems she's had the past few years.
I got on the scale today and saw that number was up. I am not surprised. Vacation was conscious eating - but, not so low calorie. So I will move forward doing what I know works the best. Dr. Beck's principles are good for me. I will carry on. I have my journal, arc/rc cards, book etc ready. I am planning my day.
I was thinking about how I really wish I didn't have to face this daily 'struggle' of making all the healthy plans and everything it takes to live in a sane manner with food. It's these things for the rest of my life. It's a daunting thought. However - not being aware is so unhealthy for me. I have always been 'on' or 'off' with little in between. Almost anything that ails me is a result directly or indirectly with food. But - if I were a diabetic I would have to monitor my daily blodd sugar. So.... I need to get out of my pitty party and do what I need to do.
I am still 25 pounds less than I was at this time last year. I am grateful for that.
02-23-2011, 10:28 AM
Hi Coaches! :wave: I've purchased the BDS and have begun reading. YAY (credit). I've only made it into the intro so far, but will be reading every day.
ChefJoona & Jicarilla - :belly: I found belly dancing on one of the free "On Demand" channels. REALLY fun! After doing two 12 minute beginner lessons I was "glistening" and my body felt both worked out & limber! I've been hitting the gym consistently since January - Eliptical, Treadmill, stepper, and bike mostly. Added weights about two weeks ago. I'm feeling great! More energy all day, and a wonderful "soreness" that reminds me I DO have muscles! Try a different exercise program every day on "free on demand" TV (you may find one that you'll want to do everyday!)
Keep working out a little every day -
walk in place & stretch while watching TV,
play with an excersise ball - toss it to a friend (I use my DH and grandchildren!) or just lift and throw it by yourself.
dancing in the kitchen with music on while preparing meals,
leg lifts & plie's while brushing teeth
use the wall for push-ups (push-offs?) in the shower
arm and leg lifts and stretching in bed before you get up (I've created an entire "bed-aerobics" routine)
Those are the ways I've started exercising and it ALL adds up. You'll start to feel the urge to move more and more, and each session will last longer and longer. My motivating self talk when I'm having a lazy day is "JUST DO IT"
YAY BBE - I don't think I'd have stopped at one. (Rather certain actually.)
Skygirl - Have you found the "Weekly Weigh-in -- Let's get accountable!" thread? I look forward to reading the book simultaneously with you!
My scale is broken - it keeps bouncing from 201 to 205 DAILY - just don't know where I'll fall on any given day. Seriously, I'm sure it's not, but I don't understand why its not moving steadily downward. BIG credits for not blowing it this week with "comfort" food. I don't know what Beck says yet - but to me "comfort food" is food that make ME feel comfortable with myself... The comfort factor of any food decreases according to how guilty and misserable I feel after eating it.
HELP NEEDED - please advise of a good website or blog I can read for portions and food choices to make the scale start gliding downward!
02-23-2011, 12:03 PM
My steps are now equally miles. I easily do 2-3 miles a day. Granted, some of those steps are done walking with a cane or hanging onto the support on the treadmill but on the treadmill I do let go as often as I can.
Taking care of myself while I have the flu. I cut back on everything yesterday and slept 11 1/2 hours, taking Emergen-C and really drinking the water--80 oz is easy for me now.
I have all kinds of :devil: attacks on me in the past week: our bank put a 10 business day hold on my husband's payroll check even though it's been the same payroll check he's received since 2005. Since we have all kinds of auto bill pays coming out I had to do some creative scrambling to come up with the extra money so we wouldn't become overdrawn.
Someone managed to hack into my computer last Sunday. I called my tech support and they took care of the security issues right away but Norton AV is still reporting to me that they stopped someone several times after that, including giving me their IP address. OY!
Then, a credit card that I have good credit with declined me citing poor credit history even though I have good credit with them and $400 available credit with them!
D***n the :devil: that's all I got to say!
I have a lot of chronic joint pain, for the new folks here, and I just knew that I needed to start out very slowly. By doing certain stretches and strength building exercises for my muscles, I am able to do more and more each week.
All this takes patience, perservance and having realistic expectations. I know the absolute ecstasy of climbing a mountain up to 25,000 feet in the Rockies back in 1992. I was not always this way. I remind myself that if I can do it once, I can do it again.
Believe in your untapped potential! We can be heroes, if only for a day.
02-23-2011, 12:28 PM
I had an extra snack yesterday. I've recently reduced my plan by one snack to see if I can get the weight loss rolling again. I suspect that's necessary. But I also suspect that I don't have to eliminate it every day and yesterday was the sort of day that benefitted from having it, so I'm going to allow that occasionally and see if that works for me. One of my "all or nothing" thinking patterns is that I have to eat the same way every day, even when things would improve with a little variety.
WI: NAkg, Exercise: +45* 985/1300 minutes for February, Food: 80%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
Good luck, FutureFitChick! Here's a bit of advice from my recent experience: make a list of all the things you wish you had time to do right now so you remember next week when you finally have time to do them! My recent week-long breakdown was right after a week of deadline pressure. Like you said my "mental health day" turned into something that wasn't healthy at all and lasted a week! I think I would have done better if I would have gifted myself with the time to do the healthy things I'd been missing during that deadline pressure.
Welcome skygirl and jicarilla!
For jicarilla, ChefJoona, and anyone else working on getting exercise into your life, here's some of what worked for me.
Count minutes! Minutes are easy to count. I include stretching and strength-training minutes, too. That encourages me to include those in my exercise and gives me good alternatives for lower energy days.
Set monthly minute goals. This gives me some leeway if I miss a day here and there. It also makes it easy to notice improvements over time. If you're really starting from 0, start with a goal of 10 minutes a day (310 minutes for March, say), then increase that by 10% each month until you get where you want to be. You'll be surprised how fast you'll get there! I log my exercise in the monthly challenge thread on 3FC (Here's February: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chicks-up-challenge/224297-february-exercise-challenge.html) and record my progress in my daily Beck post.
Reward myself for meeting monthly goals. I buy myself a new exercise DVD, a new Wii game, new workout clothes, or new music that makes me want to move.
Do workouts at home. This is key for me. Other people seem to get results by going to the gym, but consistency eludes me with that approach. I walk on a treadmill in the basement, walk out my front door and around the neighborhood, rake and shovel and haul things in my yard, do workout videos from my DVD collection or streaming from Netflix, play with my Wii, or just put on some music and dance.
Do whatever it takes to get yourself to do it. Fairly frequently for me these days it's watching an old TV show streaming from Netflix while walking on the treadmill or doing one of the Wii games. A lot of people listen to podcasts or music.
Aim for variety. This both keeps the interest up and reduces aches and pains from doing too much of the same thing. The * on my exercise log is for doing a different workout than I did the day before.
Walk with a friend. I do this once or week or so and making sure that I can keep up with her is one of the things that motivates my exercise the rest of the week.
Gwen: you might try SparkPeople or one of the other sites that lets you log your food and then gives you analysis of it -- that's really helpful information in figuring out what portion sizes and nutrient profiles need to change.
Hugs to Lexxiss (and her DH), Beverlyjoy, and everyone!
02-23-2011, 01:05 PM
Still here! Haven't had a chance to post since last week - things are still a bit crazy. DH's foot is much better and he's getting used to his crutches so I don't always have to feel I need to hover around him to make sure he doesn't fall.
Still doing well with eating, and I've been adding in exercise. I need to up that a bit, though. It seems the only way I can consistently fit it in is to wake up at 5 am and get it in before work. Sigh...
Down 2 lbs at yesterday's weigh-in! Very happy about that - I know I can't count on that much every week - but it *is* nice every now and then!
Beverlyjoy: I had a 3-level spinal fusion (with rods/screws) almost 10 years ago that was *very* successful and literally gave me my life back. I'm hoping the same for your sister. It took a while to recover, and I still have to really watch out for what I do, but it was worth it. Unfortunately, I know everyone doesn't have the same success, but hopefully your sister will be one of the lucky ones.
Welcome skygirl and jicarilla! I'm also pretty new here. Regarding motivation, I saw this quote the other day and thought it was really good:
"Don't wait for motivation - push forward and let it catch up to you. If you wait for motivation, you will wait forever."
ChefJoona: "We have lots of candy around from Valentine's Day. It is a struggle, but I am planning in a little treat each day." This is a really great way to deal with this - by learning to plan on a small treat of this every day, and yet to have it around, is truly a success! I'm working on doing the same. I want to be able to 'live' with food around and not feel obsessed with it or feel it has some hold over me.
BBE: Congrats for 'stopping at one!'
Lexxis: You deserve LOTS of credit for staying on-track under such circumstances. I'm hoping for the best regarding the long term prognosis of your friend. As far as my 'hunger experiment' - I was able to make it to dinner on Friday without my snack, but I haven't yet progressed to the 'day without lunch' - I might do that on Friday.
pamtanga: Every step is a step in the right direction!
...got to run - meeting at work starting soon! Everyone have a good day!
02-23-2011, 02:24 PM
Lots of phonecalls today. I'm behind already! I have my food planned for today *credit* and I weighed in*credit* at 280 (-2) so am on the threshold of meeting my Feb moving frenzy goal to be under 280. Almost there. My best hope would be to be what my ticker says, 276.6, by the 28th of Feb.
*credit moi* I did not eat over discovering DH did not give J, who runs the studio where I got a workspace with GREAT and EXCITING FUTURE POSSIBILITIES, the full amount of $ we owed him. DH says it was my fault-I told him the wrong amount. :shrug: I claimed it as my mistake, contacted J, and was, once more invited to the GREAT PARTY to be held at the studio this Friday, starting at 9pm. J said "You're on the list," and who isn't flattered to know they have made someone's list? It's a 1970's theme indoor bbq party to celebrate completion of the "photography cove" within the studio space.
I am DYING to get back to work already.
Remind me of this coaches when I am stressed out by art deadlines in the near future ;)
Speaking of deadlines, I need to get to the packing. Tomorrow I am out of the house meeting people so I need to try to even do a bit extra to make up for tomorrow's lost time.
Enjoy your Last Wednesday in February 2011.
#16 stuff on shelving DONE
#17 take shelves down/tape together for moving DONE
#18 stuff in electronics cabinet*leave equipment for DH*
#14 the coffee table DONE
#15 in front of the shelving DONE
ZONES COMPLETED: #13 #14 #15 #16 #17= 5/45:write: note to self: an average of 2 zones a day will get me to my goal and it doesn't need to be PERFECT either :nono:
02-23-2011, 03:32 PM
Dear Everyone -- and welcome to Skygirl and jicarilla,
I am in the middle of administsration **** at the moment.... not worth listing what it involves, except that it also involves me having to make charts and write references and mark a gazillion essays, all before Sunday.
And when I weighed myself this morning, I had gained a pound!!! Maybe slow and steady is a hard way to do things....but I am going to stay with my plan and with luck I will be back on the way to my next pound...and then another one...
But tomorrow is a pilates morning, with an hour and a half class before I go to work from 10 until 8pm. I am worried about eating in the day because when I do tasks I hate, I sort of turn the hatred back on me, and eat lots of stuff that I then also hate, even though if I had 1/10th of it and planned it, it might have been delicious. SO I am going to make a plan for tomorrow that is organised and includes things for snacks (two in the afternoon: one at 3 and one at 5) that I will enjoy and that might keep me going.... etc. etc.
I am going to make myself report back tomorrow night, and I really plan to get some credit for myself when I do...
Lexxiss I know how terrible it is to go through what you are going through now, and I really feel for you and with you. I have lived through the death of a very close friend of mine -- also unexpected, and also painful in a way that I hadn't known before -- so I wish you the best, and I think its great that you and you DH are letting yourselves do the mourning and weeping.
Everyone seems to have lots of stuff on right now -- is it the month? or is it the global speed-up at work combined with inflation (don't know about the states, but our pound is buying less and less every week..)? So it is very comforting to know that we are all working on managing our eating at the same time as trying to manage Life in the 21st Century.
Good Wishes to All,
02-23-2011, 10:12 PM
Thanks Lexxiss! The accountability for the day sounds good and I’m sure will be helpful for me.
Thanks BillBlueEyes! Someone here recommended the book and thread to me, and I also noticed it recommended by others several times since then, as being really helpful.
Thanks Gwen for recommending the weekly accountability thread, I’ll look around for it, thanks!
Thanks Jmaf! Great quote!
I got to the part of the book that discusses giving yourself credit, so I now know what this means.
I made it through yesterday and today eating on plan healthy whole foods and did an hour of cardio each day.
Hope everyone is doing well. :)
02-23-2011, 10:40 PM
Hi, Coaches & Buddies.
Thanks for the happy birthday messages. I had a really great time this weekend with my family. My nephew did a great job on his first day skiing. i am so proud of him.
I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel on my writing. I know I still have a lot of work to do, but I'm not feeling panicked about it now.
Yesterday my 9 year old pup (St. Bernard) had a dental cleaning and several sebaceous cysts removed. She looks like she lost a fight a big way! She's got patches all over her where her fur is shaved and in the middle are a patchwork of stitches. Poor girl keeps moaning - sounds like her pain meds aren't quite doing the trick.
Bill - French restaurant sounds amazing. I don't see your decluttering as moving towards the end of life at all. I see it as moving past the "needs" of our more materialistic nature and towards truly meaningful experiences. Yay for heavier dumbbells.
Lexxis - sending positive thoughts your way. Glad to hear you are getting a break from the stress.
Beverleyjoy - hope endoscopy was useful and painless.
Pamatga - great job for walking in Wal-Mart!!!
Shepheress, as always, love hearing about the goings-on at the ranch. How cool are you!! I love your attitude about healthy gaining.
Ceejay - hope you are doing well.
Gardnerjoy, hope things continue to go better for you on your plan. Thanks for the great advice to me. I think that strategy will really help.
Marycontrary, any luck carving out space? That has to be tough with so many women under one roof!!
Seadwaters, glad you got to get rid of that project. Is that the one you had to unexpectedly take over for someone else that left?
Take care everyone!
02-23-2011, 10:53 PM
Just a quick check in tonight. I am very, very tired and need to go to bed.
Credit today for:
-walking 30 mins with DH
-eating on plan and healthy
-checking in with my coaches
-making tomorrow's lunch and planning tomorrow's dinner
Take care. Hope you all have a great day tomorrow.
02-24-2011, 01:31 AM
Hello to my wonderful and inspiring comrades!
Welcome to skygirl and jicarilla! To echo (yet again) a recurring greeting, "You will find peace here."
Sending strong and positive thoughts to Lexxiss and beverlyjoy for steady recoveries and good news, I hope.
Yesterday was some more Off plan eating. I just couldn't resist more of the Chinese noodles that are my favorite. Okay -- I did resist, but it didn't stick. I regretted it for most of the evening, as I haven't over-eaten in quite some time and my body just isn't used to it. Credit moi, I suppose, for being aware of these differences in my body.
I saw what the excess salt and the monthly cycle did to the scale this morning. I am getting used to seeing the scale jump about five pounds when I'm having the monthly hormone party, so I have learned to say many "oh wells" during this time. Still, it's mildly depressing, and I *do* take it as a reminder that I don't want this to be a permanent jump. I can say, now, with conviction, I would rather be thinner.
In terms of the writing, well, I wish February was a full month. But I've begun to see the shape of this conference paper in my head, which is the most important thing for my process. I will make this deadline. I've also (yet again) reconceptualized my calendar for academic writing, AND tentatively reduced my dissertation project to four chapters rather than five. My experiment this week: charting my writing and work out plan NEXT to my food plan. This, combined with the addition of reward stickers (see below), might prove to be some useful, practical incentive to visualize the balance between writing, eating, and working out.
Those folks asking about exercise: l second much of what gardenerjoy said! She gave excellent details and suggestions. For me, I have found that I prefer exercising at home. It just works more with my schedule, and saves me a lot of time. I also prefer the privacy.
Several things have really helped me to maintain an exercise program. First, I found a type of work-out that I really like. It challenges my body, but isn't too hard to follow mentally. I have found this to be extremely important, because I'm in academia and think too much, anyway. I am a big fan of the Leslie Sansone Walk at Home videos. I have always loved walking, so this meshes with my spirit. I do Tae-Bo, occasionally, but only when I'm not feeling like a perfectionist.
Second, seeing the instant results on the scale and in the mirror really helps me to stick with the working out. About a year before I started a workout program, I completely changed my eating habits, but didn't see much of a change in terms of weight loss. But when I started working out regularly, WHOA. The changes were instantaneous, in terms of energy, flexibility, positivity, toning, and weight loss. This fact -- you can't lose weight unless you move -- truly motivates me, especially on the low-energy days.
Third, and last, and maybe silliest -- as I have gushed about before, I have a laminated full-year calendar on my wall, on which I track only two things: my dissertation writing deadlines and my workouts. Every time I exercise, I put a neon smiley sticker on the day. I aim to have 4-6 smiley stickers per week (my weeks start on Sunday). I now have six months full of neon smileys!!! I look in the mirror and at the scale; I look at my decreasing body measurements over the past six months; I look at the bags of big clothing sitting in the car and waiting for a new home -- and I think, that's what six months of working out can do for me. Filling up this calendar makes me so deliriously happy that my DP joked the other day that I should buy a different type of sticker to put on the days when I work on my dissertation. Then maybe I'd work on it as much as I work on my health!
Believe it or not, I'm seriously considering this idea.:)
SO, all of this rambling is just to say that, in addition to finding what works for you in terms of the type of exercise, and the time of day you exercise, you need to believe that exercise is the only way to be thinner and healthier. And if you can find a way to track your progress visually, so that you see it all the time every day -- my wall calendar is inside our room, right next to the door -- so much the better.
FutureFitChick, oh! I just hear my own struggles in your words. I send strong writing thoughts your way. Know that I'm also facing a deadline on 03/01, so you'll have someone in Southern California grappling with these same issues.
* working out
* making homemade chicken and dumplings
* working on my dissertation in the morning and afternoon
* resisting seconds of dinner
* making healthy shifts to my plan today
02-24-2011, 06:05 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Lunch turned out to consist only of vegetables scrounged from the fridge. CREDIT moi despite not being centered around some chunk of protein. The squash had some protein as well as the skim milk. Reminded me of "Vegetable Plates" sold at lunch counters when I was a kid, LOL.
At gym, CREDIT moi, I used the same size dumbbells but did more reps on my third set. That made me deliriously happy. On Monday, I stopped when I just couldn't lift another time without dropping them on me or the floor. Same on Wednesday, but I went further. It seems odd to me that muscles can increase in size due to one workout, but I'll take it.
onebyone - Neat that "You're on the list," perhaps Kate and Wills invitation is also in the mail, LOL. Kudos for a bunch of "DONE's" in your list.
FutureFitChick - Yay for "light at the end of the tunnel" for a little breathing room. [Thanks for the perspective, "towards truly meaningful experiences" - I like the positive outlook.]
CeeJay - I continue to enjoy reading your walks with your DH.
Joy (gardenerjoy) - It's encouraging to read your sane flexibility dealing with the optional snack.
Beverlyjoy - Congrats on that 25 pounds less than last year with Kudos for celebrating that instead of only suffering about your difficulties.
MaryContrary - Kudos for a morning and afternoon of working on your dissertation. Methinks your DP is a genius suggesting stickers for days writing.
ChefJoona - Kudos for confronting the Sabotaging Thought of food going to waste. Yay for planning a specific treat from your stash of Valentine's candy.
Ruby (RubyJan) - Kudos for the insight that doing "tasks I hate" can serve as a trigger - so Beck of you to note that.
Gwen - That's a neat awareness about comfort foods, "The comfort factor of any food decreases according to how guilty and miserable I feel after eating it." Particularly to know that in advance. Does "leg lifts & plie's while brushing teeth" suggest you've done ballet?
pamatga - Kudos for increasing your walking from steps to miles - that's such good news. And Kudos for keeping your wits fighting those attacks on you. When I put a trace on the attempts to log into my computer, I found that it was happening steadily all day long from different IP's around the globe. My smart friends assured me that that's just the way the Internet is.
Jan (jmaf) - Welcome to the 5am club - there's a bunch of us, you won't be lonely, LOL. Glad your DH is getting more of his independence back.
skygirl - Kudos for jumping right in giving yourself credit - that one was initially hard for me.
Readers - chapter 2
Experience the Difference
This time is going to be different because the Beck Diet for Life Program is different. Here is how:
. . .
It teaches you how to get back on track. It is normal to stray from your diet. I know you will make mistakes. That is why you will practice in advance what to do when you fall off the wagon, so you can get back on right away - not tomorrow, next week, or next month. You will learn how to continually and quickly recommit yourself to the program and reduce the likelihood of making mistakes in the future.
. . .
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D, The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 24.
02-24-2011, 07:43 AM
First of all... thank you to everyone for the exercise tips and hints!! I am beginning to realize that one big struggle I have with exercise is that it forces me to connect and feel my body, and my body is something I often prefer to ignore or avoid. Exercise is an emotionally painful endevor for me. I think I need to work on figuring that out. I hear all about the benefits of exercise and how great it can make your body feel, and I want to get to that point- so exercise is not a struggle or something I avoid at all costs.
I am going to take a look at some OnDemand videos, and walking outside in the nice weather really is something I enjoy. I would like to get into some strength training too- my muscles feel weak.
Mid-week weigh-in this morning. The stomach bug of last week really messed up my weight. I went down about 4 pounds very fast- because I was not earint. I have gained 2 back, and eating has been weird the last couple of days as I get back into a routine. I am going to look at today's scale number as a new starting point, and ignore the lowest point when I was sick.
Credit yesterday for good choices at 1/2 price burger night with friends. Started with a salad, and immediately cut my burger in half and brought the rest home for today.
Rubyjan I totally agree with "So it is very comforting to know that we are all working on managing our eating at the same time as trying to manage Life in the 21st Century". Reading everyone's own personal daily struggles that affect and influence the goals we are here to work on brings to light how challenging life is! But all we can do is perservere and continue on.
Wish I had more time for personals, but the concerns of my 21st Century job are calling!
02-24-2011, 09:01 AM
I'm a little bit scattered but wanted to check in. Today will be busy as my sis and I enjoy fun activities before I head to me early evening meeting. After the meeting we'll jump in the car and drive over the divide.
My food and exercise is on track. I had calories left over yesterday because I logged so much exercise. I didn't use them *credit*
Beverlyjoy, sending healing energies to your sister.
Hopefully back in a routine tomorrow.
02-24-2011, 11:32 AM
Today's challenge is a movie. But this is the last for awhile -- the tenth of all ten movies nominated for Best Picture at the Academy Awards. I've never seen all of the nominated films before the awards presentation (not even when there were only five nominees). We'll have popcorn, because we do that, but I'll count it as either lunch or all of my snacks depending on the timing and how much of it I eat.
WI: NAkg, Exercise: +0* 985/1300 minutes for February, Food: 90%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
Lexxiss: glad you're finding some fun activities at this time. Yay for not eating your exercise calories!
ChefJoona: Excellent plan to ignore the low point on the scale caused by illness.
BillBlueEyes: love the vegetable plate image! I don't remember those, but my mother used to order a diet plate that was a huge amount of fruit encircling a scoopful of cottage cheese.
02-24-2011, 12:02 PM
Just a quick check-in this morning. Scones in the break room so I'll have to avoid going there. Already said 'no choice' over and over again and it seems to be working.
Have all of my meals packed with me at work today as I will be going to a class afterwards and don't want to eat on-the-run (that always gets me into trouble!).
So, credits for:
- not tasting the scones
- pre-planning what I'm eating today
I hope everyone has a successful day!
02-24-2011, 12:42 PM
Coaches: very short note from me this morning as it's almost the afternoon.
Got up late, got stuck on the phone again and now have 2 hours to get drawing homework done and artist statement written before my drawing group meeting this afternoon. Then coffee with a long-time-no-see friend after that. I come home then to packing/sorting as listed below; or not. If I don't do it today I have to tack it onto tomorrow's list.
O Well. First things first. Must jet!
credit* weighing in: 280 (same)
Today's zones: UPDATE 9:00pm: No Progress Today - Oh Well. Time for bed.
#12 stuff from the fish tank to the wall
#2 entry space
#18 stuff in electronics cabinet*leave equipment for DH*
get garbage/recycling out to curb ____
unload/pack/sort dishwasher dishes___
ZONES COMPLETED: #13-#17= 5/45 (day 3/20 today)
note to self: an average of 2 zones a day will get me to my goal and it doesn't need to be PERFECT either
02-24-2011, 01:14 PM
Showing a great deal of patience with the lack of communication regarding the payroll check holds. The reason? Someone stole some blank checks at the business that my husband works for so the bank itself put an "alert" out. I "wish" someone would have told my husband because when this happened to a second check yesterday and he was running around with 1/16th of a tank of gas, E light on, to find some place that would cash it and he couldn't; I pressed DH to call a co-worker and find out what was going on. That is when DH found out.
You will hear me say this many times but I swear most of the problems we encounter in life are all about miscommunication. I want to qualify that I was a double major in college--yes, communication was one of them. Just that one little piece of information would have helped us plan things so differently. For one thing, we wouldn't have had to use credit cards last weekend and now have a new additional bill.
I am sick with the flu so except for drinking lots and lots of plain water (80+ oz) and taking Emergen-C, all I have been doing is sleeping a lot.
Credit moi for taking care of myself no matter what. Scrapped my evening class this week (I'm in a self-paced program) and watched tv along with DH.
He is up to 11 miles. He is training for his 13K marathon on March 20th. He is doing great. I just wish I could be there with him. There was a time, about 10 years ago, when I walked 15 miles every week for over 8 years. I hope I will be able to join him in the next year or two. I need surgery first though.
Have a great day all!
02-24-2011, 04:47 PM
Calving is still going strong! DH and I have gotten a pretty good night routine where he does the midnight check and I do the 3 AM check. Of course, I’m awake while he does his check and vice versa, but it’s a bearable when you don’t have to go out in the cold twice in the night. We had our first assist the other night. I stayed up even though I wasn’t doing much more than holding the medical supplies. I was pretty tired from that yesterday and tried to get started on baking for shearing this weekend. It was a bad combination. Oh well. I had some baking to finish today and survived it.
I’m trying to come up with a plan for shearing since last year I didn’t eat that well. I haven’t worked out all the details yet, but it will involve allowing myself some extra treats since it’s pretty tough to be around them all day, especially when I get tired. I’m hoping a little extra will help me keep some sanity—I’m taking a page out of Gardenerjoy’s book and giving up that “all or nothing” attitude.
Lexiss, sending a hug your way. So sorry for your friend.
BillBE, Fletcher is starting to settle into all this craziness and finally starting to see this as an adventure.
FutureFitChick, sending supportive thoughts while you hang in there for another week.
Waving to everyone and welcome to all the new people! I look forward to getting to know you better and will get back to personals when life slows down a bit.
02-24-2011, 11:36 PM
Hi, Coaches & Buddies.
Quick check in... My goal between Monday and Thursday of next week is to make an "emergency" box of recipes & corresponding pantry staples for my husband to make and a list of healthy food options for take out at local places (like Beverlyjoy or maybe Gardenerjoy has done??) for two full days of eating. I am finding when things get too hectic I am grabbing the closest and often very indulgent food I can. I should also revisit the hunger experiment to remind myself that hunger is not an emergency. My body has forgotten this lesson. It is difficult to find balance on that last point while trying to keep energy levels up when I am having a fibromyalgia flare up. We'll work this out though! :) Weight is still hovering where it has been the last several months, which I guess I am greatful for. I will get past 240 though!!!
My poor pup is laying on the floor with her dozens of stiches just repeatedly expelling deep sighs. Come on last pain pill! Kick in for her!!
Ceejay - waving hi and hope you had a good day.
MaryContrary - happy writing and hope you are making good progress today. I know what I'll be doing this weekend! I love the visual of the monthly hormone party!! I also love the smiley stickers! Those used to be such a great incentive as a kid for me, then I had to go and grow up to be too mature to need such a silly thing! Ha! They've always been fun!!
BillBlueEyes - delighted to hear about more reps on the dumbbells! That is fantastic. Great job for continuing to challenge yourself.
ChefJoona - you never would have caught me in a gym 2 years ago. I'm not sure what made me pick up the phone, but finding a Personal Trainer that is well educated, patient, and kind has helped me to get over lots of my gym fear.
Lexxis - delighted to hear your food and exercise is on track!
Gardenerjoy - how fun is your movie adventure! That is so great. I don't know that I've seen any of them this year.
jmaf - awesome job on planning ahead and no choice! I am really excited for you!
onebyone - great job checking in!
Pamatga - 15 k next year is totally doable! Take care of yourself with the terrible flu. I am glad you are getting good rest.
Shepherdess - so glad calving is going well. My mind has created a vivid movie of what you all must experience every year! Good luck with the baking, keeping your energy up with a baby on board, and planning for the shearing. Thanks for the support from you. Your posts always make me smile!
02-24-2011, 11:52 PM
Thanks MaryContrary, love the quote! :)
Thanks BillBlueEyes, I am trying to follow the process as closely as I can. I have a feeling I may need to sort of "cling" to the process and follow it as faithfully as I can so that I can get through. ;)
Today was rough, ate healthy foods, but just more than I would like to have eaten. Was really fighting the urge to have sugar or binge, so that's why I just decided to eat more of the healthy stuff. It was hard, but I kept reminding myself why I am doing this. I did not end up exercising today, so I need to work on that. I also need to make my cards and start reading them every day.
I hope everyone had a great day.
02-25-2011, 02:22 AM
Hello to my Beck comrades.
Today was not as productive as I wished, in terms of the reading and writing. I slept in too late, lingered too long over coffee and "fun" reading, breakfast became lunch, by which time I just barely had time to exercise before running some errands.
The emotional eating hit me when I learned that the Dept. did not forward my application for the University-wide fellowship competitions. Although I've been blessed with an endowed fellowship this year, I thought I was a pretty strong candidate for the final year fellowships (a different competition). Apparently not. I'm trying, really trying, to be oh well about this.
It was interesting, receiving this news. Almost immediately I wanted a comfort food -- thai or pizza or chili cheese fries. I surprised myself by recognizing this craving as it hit me. I would not have been able to recognize this feeling a year ago. I realized this fellowship news brought up some issues I always have to deal with, namely, my need for validation. It hit me today, that I haven't had to really deal with these emotions because I've been on fellowship. For a year I have been feeling validated because I won this fellowship in a very competitive process.
Now it looks as if I'll be returning to teaching. Although I've applied for external fellowships, I'm even less likely to receive one of these. I feel like a bubble has been burst. I know I am taking this too personally, and I also know that departmental politics are something I can't control. Oh well. This sucks. But it's not about me.
Credit moi for reflecting on these things. The next step is to count my blessings and move forward.
I chose to bake homemade chocolate chip cookies with wheat flour. I followed my rules for this situation. It was just the kind of comfort I needed. And, more importantly, I don't feel bad about it.
-- sticking to my (mental) food plan
-- resisting seconds at dinner
-- finding a healthier (and cheaper) option for some emotional eating
-- intense exercise despite low energy
-- coming here
Goals for tomorrow:
--make a plan for this conference paper
--write the introduction paragraph
--buy some stuff for my weekend lunches at the library
02-25-2011, 06:14 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Stood down all thoughts that I didn't need to take my walk after work, CREDIT moi. Instead I concentrated on walking briskly, remembering that I justified walking instead of using the elliptical because I could get the same heart rate while enjoying the scenery. Passed bunches of under-dressed joggers, a sign that spring is certainly coming.
Had a strong urge to have nuts for my afternoon snack since I was out of my usual toasted whole wheat pita chips and taboule. Thought about that while walking, being quite aware that the volume I'd choose would be a hearty snack and that I'd want more. I've chosen an afternoon snack that I like very much and that satisfies instead of feeling like the beginning of a binge. So I had some packaged corn chips (not the best) with humus - CREDIT moi - and went about my life.
onebyone - May today be a day of progress on your zones. Listing your zones is such a neat idea to break down an overbearing task into manageable ones.
FutureFitChick - The hectic life does seem to call for "very indulgent food" - Kudos for observing that as the first step in countering it.
Joy (gardenerjoy) - I don't know anybody who has seen all the Best Picture nominees - maybe you'll make the Guinness Book of Records.
Shepherdess - You've got a special challenge with all that baking of treats for shearing. Sounds like giving up the “all or nothing” attitude is good strategy.
Debbie (Lexxiss) - Yay for "so much exercise" - your sister seems to be a good influence.
MaryContrary - Ouch for the fellowship disappointment, with Kudos for working against "taking this too personally" - that's a hard one, since of course it feels personal. Love your conclusion, "The next step is to count my blessings and move forward."
ChefJoona - Yep, Kudos for eating half of a half price burger instead of two; takes fortitude to cut a burger in half and doggie bag the other half.
pamatga - Bummer on those stolen blank checks - but at least you've uncovered the mystery. Kudos for tracking that down.
Jan (jmaf) - Skipping scones is nearly saintly, LOL. I used to have a scone from Starbucks at the airport when I took a monthly early morning flight thinking they were healthy - until my DD told me why they were so good, LOL.
skygirl - The epitome of Beck's strategies, "but I kept reminding myself why I am doing this" - Kudos!
Readers - chapter 2
Experience the Difference
This time is going to be different because the Beck Diet for Life Program is different. Here is how:
. . .
It teaches you how to keep going when the going gets tough. Like all dieters, you will find that it is easy to diet on some days and harder on others. This is normal. It becomes more difficult, for example, when you are struggling with negative emotions, tired, or tempted to skip exercising or shopping for and preparing the food you need. It gets harder when your hormones are fluctuating and your cravings for certain foods intensify. It gets harder as life presents challenges at work or at home and as the rate you are losing weight starts to slow. In this program, you will not only learn but also you will actually master a set of thinking skills to prevent yourself from getting discouraged and abandoning your diet when times get tough. You will prove to yourself - over and over - that these difficult days always pass and that you're always so glad later you stuck with it.
. . .
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D, The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 24.
02-25-2011, 07:50 AM
Yesterday was a weird eating day, as I was out at a meeting during lunch time. I'm not sure I ended up eating enough during the day... I really struggled with strong urges for an after dinner snack (after having my planned Valentine's Day candy treat.) DF coached me through it, and I said No Choice... until I woke up in the middle of the night tossing and turning over work stress. I got out of bed to take my mnid off things and ended up getting into the candy again. It wasn't a big binge, but a couple pieces do add up. I just felt such a need for some comforting sugar.
Very glad its Friday. Work has been challenging this week. We're checking out our first option for a wedding reception venue tomorrow. Its an old restored 19th Century Monitor Barn.
Got up late, so no time for personals again.
02-25-2011, 11:14 AM
Today I hit the 15 pound milestone. So proud of myself! I love the changes I am making in my life.
Credits: eating on plan; weighing in; exercising (aqua zumba last night); filling in my daily log sheets; remembering to give myself credit; promoting positive self esteem.
I am working on acceptance lately. There are so many things that I have no control over, that I wish I did. I have to remind myself that I can’t shape or sculpt other people to be or do what I want them to. “Oh well” comes in handy for these times.
Lexxiss – glad you are on track, good for you considering all the stress you’ve been under
Gardnerjoy – wow, you are so close to your goal! That is awesome!
Jmaf – good for you for avoiding the food room!
Pamatga – so glad about your walking progress!
Shepherdess – things sound pretty interesting ‘round your way
Futurefitchick – “hunger is not an emergency” was a total lightbulb for me. I remind myself of that quite often
Skygirl – welcome and good job getting started!
Marycontrary – I really liked what you said “I'm trying, really trying, to be oh well about this.” I have so many things that I need to be “oh well” about too. Good for you for processing what you are going through rather than running right to the comfort foods. Hugs.
Billblueeyes – I can’t wait for spring either! Walks are so much nicer when the mother nature cooperates.
ChefJoona – I like water aerobics. It was a great way to get me back in the exercise game. Not sure if this is an option for you. I always hated to sweat, and I figured if I was in the water, I wouldn’t notice. Now I like to sweat (well, a little bit) because I know that I am working my body into better shape. I also have a problem when my eating schedule gets messed up. It always sends me into binging type thoughts. I will have to work on a card for these types of situations; thank you for reminding me I’m not the only one!
02-25-2011, 11:56 AM
Flu is better but I was up until 5:30 am this morning, unable to sleep because of pain in my right knee that radiates up and down my right leg and hip. I took some more pain medicine and I am returning to bed.
I was reading about all of your challenges; it sounds like emotional eating and stress-induced eating are two common threads that run through all of your daily coping. It's non physical hunger and it is what separates people who struggle with their weight all their life and those who don't. A non-emotional eater never makes the connection between trying to feed emotions, whether they are disappointment, weariness both mental and physical, or the tension that derives from our competitive lives.
I have known this about myself for decades. OA (Overeaters Anonymous) helped me a lot. I still consider myself a practioner of the 12 Steps for the past 16 years. I consider it one of the single most significant influences of my life.
I have been very weary the past ten days or so. Once I get some sleep and take a shower, I'll be able to get on with today.
It reminds me of what one of our nieces said. Maggie was about 5 years old at the time. Her sister, Mary Therese, was about 3 years old. Maggie was "beating up" on Mary Therese, as siblings are prone to do. Mary Therese was crying understandably. Maggie proceeded to tell Mary Therese, "You know what your problem is; you need to be more resilent." The irony of course in this situation is that we want to say (on Mary Therese's behalf), "No, what I need you to do is stop beating me up!"
Every time Life (aka the "Maggies" in our world) beats us up and tells us to be more resilent, we want to instead say " Just quit already! I wouldn't have to be more resilent if you'd just leave me alone!"
Here is to all of our "Maggies" in life. (in unison) "Leave me alone and go pick on someone your own size!" ;)
In the meantime, don't take any of it personal. Life is just doing what Life does.
Have a good day all!
02-25-2011, 01:00 PM
Black Swan was good, especially the ending. If I were the Academy, I would give the Best Picture to 127 Hours and pretty much everything else to The King's Speech.
It was an odd eating day and wouldn't work for every day, but good enough and it's done. Today I have a food plan that takes into account that I'll have fresh bread coming out of the bread machine in a couple of hours. It's just stupid not to believe I'm going to eat some, so putting it in the plan makes the difference between being on plan and the dangerous territory of off plan.
WI: NAkg, Exercise: +0 985/1300 minutes for February, Food: 70%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
MaryContrary: love the whole wheat chocolate chip cookies. Something new for me on this journey is the ability to have things occasionally that no one would consider diet food and do it strategically so that it fits and the whole process keeps rolling. Sorry about the situation that led to the emotional eating -- that does suck. Good for you for recognizing it and finding a way to deal with it.
02-25-2011, 01:48 PM
Happy Friday! I'm certainly glad to have a weekend coming - it's been a rough week at work.
Remains of the scones are still in the break room, but they're all dried up at this point so no temptation - I *did* see one of my coworkers eating one, though :D.
Tonight will be dinner out with friends. I'm planning for it, though, so I'm cautiously optimistic. I'll have to keep my 'no choice' and 'oh well' thoughts close at hand.
gardenerjoy: glad to hear you have a plan for the bread! It would also be dangerous territory for me.
pamatga: Glad your flu is better but sorry to hear about the leg/hip pain. I'm also have a bit of that lately (same leg as yours, even!) and don't know what's up with it. It seems to only hurt when I'm sleeping (or trying too...). I think you're right about non-physical hunger. I'm trying to focus on how eating at these times will only create just another problem for me and not resolve anything.
masondixonmoma: Congrats on 15 pounds! Woohoo!!!
ChefJoona: I hear you about not eating enough during the day and then having it 'bite back' at you later. That happens to me, too. I also find that not sleeping well at night makes me hungrier the next day - I recently heard there's a scientific reason for this (something to do with hunger-related hormones).
BBE: I love walking outside in the early spring! Must be because of being cooped-up inside all winter. The fresh air always seems fresher.
MaryContrary: Sorry about the fellowship. I know it's hard at the present, but try to think of this as a possible opening to a new adventure. Sometimes disappointment can lead to opportunities we don't even know about yet. Major Credit for reflecting on your feelings as you go through this.
skygirl: I'm also working with trying to be more consistent with exercising - I'm not quite there yet. :(
FutureFitChick: The idea of an 'emergency' box of recipes is awesome! I will have to work on that. Also on some recipes that can be made *only* with pantry and freezer staples because I'm pretty disorganized when it comes to weekly food shopping. I have ideas for the early part of the week but then chaos ensues!
Shepardess: Glad the calving is going well - must say I know nothing about it (or shearing) although I'm certain it all takes loads of energy!
onebyone: wishing you luck with your move. Moving is *not* one of my favorite activities...!
I'm not sure I'll have a chance to check in over the weekend, so I hope everyone has a successful one!
02-25-2011, 04:47 PM
Another long night last night and lost a calf, so we’re frustrated and tired around here. I arrived home to find my pet sheep Clyde died sometime over the night. We knew he wasn’t feeling well, but couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him. I’m more emotional about all this than I expected—lack of sleep and pregnancy hormones may be playing into it.
We had to push shearing back another day, but that should put us in the clear as far as the weather. I do have a plan in place. I have a veggie tray, apples and cheese sticks, so there will be healthy options available. I’m planning on having a slice of banana bread as a snack, which is not as healthy as my usual snack (though I do make mine with ˝ whole wheat flour and less sugar so it’s better than cake). And I’ll also allow myself a cookie or one of the baked treats my MIL will bring. I’ll survey the situation and pick the best option.
FutureFitChick, I hope your pup is feeling better!
MaryContrary, hugs while you deal with the disappointment over the fellowship, but great job avoiding comfort food.
Masondixonmama, congrats on hitting the 15lb mark!
Waving to everyone else and thank you for all the support. I feel guilty over being remiss with personals, but will get back to it when I have time/energy.
02-25-2011, 05:11 PM
So very sorry about Clyde, Shepardess....:(
02-25-2011, 10:46 PM
My life continues to be very busy. Not many answers for our friend yet and my sis is still here. I am really happy to report that I'm still staying on track with food. I'm following my chosen food plan, using my Beck tools and logging everything on Livestrong. Exercise is on track, too. I'm really grateful and credit moi...it was either give it 100% or fall back into food insanity.
I was going to try personals this evening, but my internet connection isn't going to cooperate. Perhaps I can get back early tomorrow morning.
Thanks for being here everyone!
Shepherdess, sorry to hear about Clyde.
02-25-2011, 11:24 PM
I spent the whole day out of the house today. I should have stayed home and done more packing but I didn't. I just wanted a "me" day. I don't know if it actually did me any good cause now I feel like I am really behind given I have made zero progress in the house for two days. Foodwise I ate very little today. Not sure what's up with that. *credit: weighed in at 280 today.
Oh well to it all. I'm going to bed.
02-26-2011, 06:18 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Took a day off to seriously work my stuff - and I did. I sorted some 10 boxes of books and old papers, CREDIT moi, keeping less than half. Every book I give away hurts as if I'm losing a friend - I just don't yet have a rational feelings about books. Perhaps I need to take therapeutic walks through the library to remind myself that a copy exists there whenever I need it.
Gym, CREDIT moi, was again a testosterone thriller: I shifted the weights of the dumbbells for my three sets of chest presses up by five pounds. Made me feel like one of the guys. A day of letting go of stuff makes me to feel my mortality, but a good day of lifting pushes that aside. Who needs to feel mortal?
Eating was OP including a small indulgence at an evening event; tiny - smaller than a donut hole - cream-puffs appeared with real whipped cream. I was the only one there who stopped at two, which was much less than a full sized one. And I ignored the cookies as if they didn't exist. CREDIT moi for planning and having boundaries.
onebyone - Yay for a "me" day that didn't include over eating; shows you who the real you is.
Joy (gardenerjoy) - Am so jealous that you've done all those current movies. Both Black Swan and 127 hours are on my list. Love "good enough" days accepted as lived.
Shepherdess - Sending supportive thoughts for a rough day. So sorry for your loss of Clyde - was he once in your avatar picture?
Debbie (Lexxiss) - Thanks for the reminder - it's either forward or back to insanity.
ChefJoona - Continued Kudos for being able to plan and indulge in a small Valentine's candy treat - with Ouch for the midnight stumble. Wedding planning is one of life's most inspiring events, not withstanding being one of its most exasperating.
Andrea (masondixonmama) - Congrats on those 15 pounds. First time I've heard of Aqua Zumba - sounds fun.
pamatga - Ouch for your pains and having to work around them, with Kudos for the acceptance in, "Life is just doing what Life does."
Jan (jmaf) - Kudos for standing down those those scones until they dried up; hopefully someone else will clear them away so you can use the break room again.
Readers - chapter 2
Experience the Difference
This time is going to be different because the Beck Diet for Life Program is different. Here is how:
. . .
It teaches you how to maintain your new weight. Knowing how to keep off the weight you lose also requires a special set of skills, such as knowing how to become a more flexible eater and how to continue to motivate yourself every day, even after the number on the scale has stopped going down. I've found that many people who lose weight simply forget what it felt like to be overweight, taking their new weight - and all of the benefits they have achieved - for granted. Once they stop feeling as if watching their weight is worth it, they start gaining. Then they feel panicky and hopeless. I'll teach you how to always remember why you wanted to lose weight in the first place and why it's worth it to continue working at keeping it off.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D, The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 24.
02-26-2011, 06:44 AM
...an early morning attempt to get back to personals…."since BBE's post from yesterday" seemed attainable.
BillBlueEyes, I just picked up 6 vegetarian cookbooks from the library yesterday. I think your thought about walking through the library IS rational. BTW-I'm amazed at your persistence with your project. Great that you had the forsight to do it in winter. Great news that you stopped at 2 cream puffs and were able to observe how many the others ate. Interesting isn't it???
onebyone, I hope you are able to find a renewed energy from your "me" day and can catch up on your zones.
Shepherdess, I like your healthy option for food during sheep shearing. You've reminded me to pull some bananas out of the freezer.thx
Jan(jmaf), :lol: at your coworker eating a dried up scone. In the old days, I would have. Enjoy your dinner tonight and *credit* for planning ahead.
gardenerjoy, I have to agree, "..it's just stupid not to believe I'm going to eat some, so putting it in the plan makes the difference…" Yay!
pamatga, I hope your knee is better. My dear friend is a non-emotional eater. She has been in a stressful divorce for the past year and commented to me how bad she looks, "I just have to gain some weight!", she said. On a positive note, I really do feel that Beck tools are helping me with my emotional eating….but I'm aware it can pop up at any time.
masondixonmama, congrats! for making your 15 pound milestone! I hope you have chosen a nice reward for yourself. I work on acceptance daily-I find it really helps. *credit* that you are "loving the changes I am making in my life."
ChefJoona, enjoy your well deserved weekend...visiting your option for your wedding reception. *credit* for not turning your midnight snack into a binge.
:wave: to everyone else...
Thanks, all, for the collective input into this thread. I'm really having the opportunity during such a stressful time in my life to see how the Beck tools really work in my life "when I work them". Your kind words to me have helped, too. :hug:
02-26-2011, 06:50 AM
Hi coaches - rough week for me. I am very concerned about my sister. She is recovering from a major surgery and I am a thousand miles away. I need to decide whether to go there and help her or do my foot/ankle surgery. After three setbacks, I am leary of scheduling my surgery. I feel like something will go wrong or come up and it will need to be cancelled yet again. I can't explain how nervous I am in even thinking about scheduling it. My foot/ankle pain is at a lower level these days. It's because I am not doing much.
I feel kind of frazzled, confused and kind of down. (quite different than my recent Disney/family vacation.) There was a time when decisions were not so difficult. - they seem to be layered now.
My food has been sloppy. However, I have not run away from here. My anchor to 3fc is the gratitude thread over at the 100 pound forum. I will keep trying.
02-26-2011, 09:57 AM
I'm having a hard time staying on plan lately. I had a healthy lunch prepared yesterday, but our Director ordered pizza for the office and I indulged. Then I really struggled with keeping the candy to just a small treat. For the first time in a couple months I had thoughts about giving up on the program. I challenged this though, and read my ARC.
Today is going to be a hard day... breakfast at a diner with friends- I'm planning eggs with dry rye toast (a breakfast I really do enjoy, so not a hard choice), and then dinner out to celebrate my future MIL's Birthday. Will review restaurant menu when I finish this post. Will be at my parents following our wedding venue visits around lunch time- am thinking of bringing along my lunch as I don't know what they'll have and I don't want to be super hungry when we get to the restaurant for dinner.
Shepherdess- so sorry to hear about the loss of a calf and Clyde! :(
Thanks for all the tips and ideas for exercise!
I'm glad I am here posting, it keeps me connected as I struggle with my commitment.
02-26-2011, 10:54 AM
So good to "eavesdrop" by subscribing to this thread. It is really seeing the Beck program in action as a model for me to follow. I was discouraged by the fact that I haven't lost weight at I expected this week--but that says more about my unrealistic expectations than my weight loss. The most valuable thing Beck has taught me I think is to analyze the situation, see if there is anything I can do better (if so, do it) and otherwise say ah, well and move on. It has kept me on my diet for over a year without giving up, which I used to do at the slightest disappointment. My weight loss is slow, but I am focused on continuing. Thanks to everyone on this thread.
02-26-2011, 11:38 AM
I woke up exhausted. I'm still feeling heavy and sleepy. I must have overslept. I'm achey too but not as bad as the other morning so I'll take that and be happy for it.
DH came home last night. That was a surprise as he was in the annual live poker tournament at his work last night. He went out 6th (of 23) on a "bad beat" (for all you poker players you'll know what that is) to his boss. He said, after being taken down by his boss, "at least I still have my job.":D Funny guy.
So he drove home and got here just after midnight.
Now I have talked him into going to the other end of town with me so I can get my artwork from the Alumni Show that just closed yesterday, and I can also now connect with the buyers for one of the pieces I showed at the show. Yay me. All my money is going into my new studio space in Toronto and that's a great place for that money to go. It makes me happy. But -- it's not paid for yet... I'm counting my chickens before they're hatched a bit here.
So I have a coupon for a Steak and Buffet place that are serving brunch today until 2:30. No menu online. We're going to pick my mom up and take her with us to the buffet place. She'll enjoy that. I just called her and she sounds, for lack of a better word, so "little".
Coaches, I'm going to have a good but tough day today. Leaving my mother is the worst part of moving away for me. We've only gotten close since she became ill (alzheimers) and went into the senior's residence. That's a good two and a half years now. My brother doesn't even think she "exists" anymore-as he says he "hasn't had a real conversation with her in years" and frankly, she just scares him. Her disease terrifies both him and my oldest sister who also doesn't visit. My other sister and I both feel the opposite way towards my mom. But she's in Key West so I do the footwork for the two of us. To me, there's still lots my mom has for all of us, it's just different is all. And she really gets it if you're actually involved with her or just doing it cause you have to. That filter part of her brain is dissolving. Sometimes she just says it like it is. I grew up wiht my grandparents and my grandmother never had a filter. She was brutal so my mom is pussycat and as for her disease, well I don't scare easy.
Oh. Geez. Getting late! Sheesh I feel as though I am always behind.
Better go. *Credit moi weighing in at 281 this morning.(+1) and checking in.
Personals later with a report of my behaviour around the brunch buffet.
Have a fantastic final Saturday in February 2011.
02-26-2011, 01:28 PM
Well, I will be posting my monthly weight lose on Monday and it is going to be very disappointing. I feel like I have let my group down. I am accustomed to letting myself down so I am living with that. Ouch! That sounds pathetic!
I am more than ever determined to think, behave and eat like a thin person. I once was a very thin person long long ago. I only began to turn to food during a bad second marriage in the 1980s. Unfortunately, of all the habits that I once had, that one had to take root and grow! I might be getting this wrong but I believe that the way to being "naturally thin" again is to put all of this in reverse. In other words, do the opposite of what I have been doing!
For example, I blew this past month BUT I have three more days of February and I am not going to give those three days away. I am also not going to overcompensate and "undereat/over exercise" which is the same as being out of control but just wearing different clothes. No, for next three days I am going to have moderation in thought and behavior. After all, that is all that separates the "normal" eaters of this world and the "nots".
I am determined to crack this code if it is the last thing I do. I just will not accept defeat in this...no matter, how self-sabotaging I can be.
So, that is my big Credit Moi for the day. For all of you, whom I recognize your names by now; God bless on moving, calving, taking care of ankles and feet, decluttering and regrouping after your personal disappointments this week. I have read them all. If someone can show me how to speedily response with highlighted names, that would be great. I just want you to know that I know who you are and what you are presently dealing with. :hug::hug:
Love to you all!
02-26-2011, 01:45 PM
I finally braved weighing myself after my week off and several days to let that settle out. And I weigh about what I have all year. Except, I just looked at the trend line in my spreadsheet for the first time and it's pointing down! I should quit worrying about this so much. One of the reasons I went off the rails for a week was the sense that I wasn't getting anywhere. But I am, it's just slow and with lots of fluctuations so it's not that easy to spot.
WI: +0.3kg, Exercise: +60* 1045/1300 minutes for February, Food: 85%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
Shepherdess: so sorry about your loss of Clyde. That is very sad.
Lexxiss: I love how you're using the Beck skills as an anchor in a difficult time -- very inspiring!
Beverlyjoy: hugs! Feeling frazzled, confused, and down seems quite normal in your situation. I always feel a bit let down after Disney, anyway, and I haven't done it in the midst of the kinds of life crises that you're facing right now.
ChefJoona: yay for using this thread as a way to stay connected even when everything else seems to be fraying. It works that way for me.
jicarilla: yes! Accepting slow weight loss as a success instead of a failure has made persistence and consistency over time possible for me.
onebyone: wow, what wonderful ways you have of dealing with your mother. I'm so impressed.
pamatga: yay for finding the place of moderation! I don't know about speedy, but I type up my post in the Notepad application on my computer while reading the thread. Once pasted into 3FC, I can double-click on each name and hit the B in the tool bar to make them bold. That gives me a chance for a quick proof-read, too.
02-26-2011, 02:59 PM
Hello my friends.
Just a quick check-in before I get to this writing. I wanted some encouragement, so I just read all of your posts. I'm absorbing the amazing energy this thread provides. Thank you, all.
Credits (yesterday): exercise (really intense, working off anger in a good way); saying NO to the pizza I bought without thinking; planning a thai food treat; coming here; committing to a writing plan for today that focuses on quantity, not quality.
GOAL, beginning NOW: write five pages. As soon as I meet this goal, I'm stopping. The faster I write (instead of agonizing in a fit of perfectionism), the sooner I can work out and play UNO with the DGS.
I can do it!
Thanks for being here.
02-26-2011, 03:03 PM
Good Morning! Trouble with my computer so I can only read Gardenerjoy and Pagmata. I feel, though, that I don't have to hear anymore. They both said exactly what I am feeling. Like Gardenerjoy, I have been off and on for a week. Yesterday , I broke a 3 day streak of OP to eat chocolate in response to the "bottom falling out" of my mood doing dance duty. I had been determine to go a week strictly as written in my daily plan. I am so close to goal and feeling like I am getting nowhere. But my tracking shows a consistent 2 pounds down each month despite fluctuations. I have to trust the process. Credit writing here today when I feel like eating instead. Credit getting out of the house with DS so I can go buy the food that is on my plan for lunch. Baby steps. As Pagmata said, "I will crack this code." I have come to far to not live my dream of life in the 140s.
02-26-2011, 05:08 PM
Hello everybody -- Its Saturday night in London, and I spent most of today writing a lecture about 'the meditative lyric' and marking essays, and I was feeling great in my seat in the British Library, with a shawl around me and my computer, and having been very OP all day....then I came home and had a good supper and then, like The MadWoman of the Barbican, I rushed out and bought a ham sandwich and stuffed it down my gullet. I have got to pull myslf together. I have been reading everyone's posts and it does give me hope -- everybody has difficulties and yet I can see that so many of us are still working our programmes. AM hoping my kitchen will clean itself up overnight tonight.
Lethargic in London, Ruby.
02-26-2011, 09:19 PM
As promised, here's my update of today's follies.
I have been searching for the best word to describe my state today and here it is:
/ˈwɪəri/ Show Spelled [weer-ee] Show IPA adjective, -ri·er, -ri·est, verb, -ried, -ry·ing.
1.physically or mentally exhausted by hard work, exertion, strain, etc.; fatigued; tired: weary eyes; a weary brain. yes
2.characterized by or causing fatigue: a weary journey. yes
3.impatient or dissatisfied with something (often followed by of ): weary of excuses. yes
4.characterized by or causing impatience or dissatisfaction; tedious; irksome: a weary wait. yes
–verb (used with object), verb (used without object)
5.to make or become weary; fatigue or tire: The long hours of work have wearied me. yes
6.to make or grow impatient or dissatisfied with something or at having too much of something (often followed by of ): The long drive had wearied us of desert scenery. We had quickly wearied at such witless entertainment. yes
Wow coaches. I can identify with nuance of this word.
Right now I am plain old achey as well: left knee but behind the knee msucles, right ankle at the front, right bicep area-rotator cuff, general achiness all over and sort of sniffliness. Fatigue.
Weariness big time.
Foodwise, I had two moderate plates at the buffet and one serving of dessert. I consider this a moderate success at best. It was delicious though I have to say. My mom enjoyed her time out but I felt we cut it short. Oh well I guess. We do what we can eh?
I am fighting the ugly perfection monster in everything I do right now: cleaning/packing/eating/planning/visiting folks - everything. It's really a challenge to say "No, this IS good enough and that's okay." The impulse to beat myself up is very strong in me, especially when I have fallen off track with a plan, as in my clean up/zone plan this week. I won't be 100% on track with that until Monday. But really, it doesn't mean the plan is no good. It means I do what I can when I can and I recognize "progress not perfection" is my goal.
Okay. Off to see what DH is doing down in the basement...
Bye for now.
02-27-2011, 06:00 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Eating wandered a bit as I had fresh croissants for breakfast with a friend, but it's an old ritual and we don't do it often. CREDIT moi for an otherwise OP day.
Walked to Whole Foods for peanut butter from their grinding machine. Then walked to Trader Joe's to replenish my supply of tree nuts: roasted unsalted almonds, whole walnut halves, and pecan halves. Also grabbed two bunches of daffodils for DW who longs for her spring garden. CREDIT moi for the walk and for the wholesomeness even if I felt a tad self righteous.
onebyone - My readings suggest that you're spot on in understanding that your visits slip warm feelings into your mom - right underneath her Alzheimers even though she doesn't remember their origin. Ouch for your wea·ry. Smart goal, "progress not perfection" for barreling through a zillion small decisions between you and setting up your new home and studio.
Joy (gardenerjoy) - Downward trend sounds reassuring. Yay for accepting that "slow" is acceptable progress.
Beverlyjoy - Ouch for a rough week - sending my supportive thoughts your way as you work through the "layered" decisions in your life.
Debbie (Lexxiss) - Continuing to send supportive thoughts as your Best Man's accident accident remains in your thinking. [Cookbooks from the library sounds fun - and fun again when you can return them.]
MaryContrary - "UNO with the DGS" is the kind of reward worth focusing on writing quantity to get to. Good choice.
maryann - Yep, "I have to trust the process." Thanks for the reminder that it's the process that we can control - results will follow on their own schedule.
ChefJoona - Honking Kudos for standing down the Sabotaging Thought "giving up on the program."
Ruby (RubyJan) - Such great visuals in your writing; we've got to commission onebyone to paint the contents of your brain, LOL. google took 'the meditative lyric' and returned both Robert Frost and Frank Sinatra; I was offended - don't belong on the same page. Ouch that "The MadWoman of the Barbican" ate a ham sandwich during your watch.
pamatga - Yay for "moderation" when the brain is screaming for exaggerated action to recover, or outright abandonment. It does seem to help to take distance from the scale weight; your body will find its level.
Sharon (jicarilla) - Neat that you've been doing Beck for over a year now. With Kudos for your attitude in, "My weight loss is slow, but I am focused on continuing."
Readers - chapter 2
Experience the Difference
The Beck Diet for Life Program can help you in other ways, too, since I have found that dieters often derive unexpected benefits. For example, you can:
Learn how to get yourself to do other tasks you tend to avoid. Many dieters have told me that they've used the skills in this plan to accomplish numerous tasks, such as sticking to a budget, being more productive at work, maintaining a more organized household, and doing self-care activities. As you better organize yourself for dieting and maintaining, you will learn to better organize you life - period.
. . .
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D, The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 24.
02-27-2011, 09:35 AM
My plan took a twist yesterday and I ate 3x my afternoon snack (*credit* for weighing it and logging it) before acknowledging that it was "tired". I went for a nap and slept all the way through dinner...some 14 hours which is unheard of for this recovering insomniac. My missed dinner did balance out my calories. I have a better plan for today and want to stick to it. I truly missed my healthy dinner and my snacking just wasn't worth it.
BillBlueEyes, *credit* for recognizing that some old rituals are OK...and others are not. Yay for daffodills to brighten DW's day. Thanks, as always, for your Beck post. I was talking to DH this morning about my Beck program because he wondered why I was so busy typing so early in the morning. We discussed the organization factor...I said I wasn't sure if it was discussed specifically in the books and *voila* there it is, Chapter 2, "As you better organize yourself for dieting and maintaining, you will learn to better ortanize your life-period." Remembering how I got to this forum was through a decluttering thread started by onebyone.
Beverlyjoy, sending supportive thoughts while you make decisions about your foot/ankle surgery and your sister's recovery. Your statement, "I have not run away from here" continues to be very powerful. Yes, friend, keep trying.
ChefJoona, *credit* for challenging your sabotaging thought which encouraged you to give up on your program. BTW-We shared breakfast yesterday, eggs with dry rye toast.
jicarilla, acknowledging your discouragement with your WL last week as unrealistic expectations is valuable. *credit* for staying on your diet for over a year without giving up and focusing on continuing.
onebyone, sending supportive hugs as you continue to feel weary. *credit* as you continue to "Persist to Victory".
pamatga, as I read your post, I want to encourage you to learn from us that your do not let this group down-ever. We are all on a personal journey, which happens, each at our own pace. Let your determination to think like a thin person carry you through another day. You have made a lot of progress this past month and I encourage you to focus on that.
gardenerjoy, great that you looked at your spreadsheet and recognized that it is pointing down! Slow and with lots of fluxuations IS still progress!
MaryContrary, "I can do it!" says lots! *credit* for standing down auto-pizza and instead planning a Thai treat.
maryann, ouch for chocolate in response to the "bottom falling out" but credit for recognition. *credit* for writing here instead of eating.
RubyJan, *credit* for coming here after gulping a ham sandwich. We have all done that and I always feel there is hope. Speaking of hope-hope your kitchen cleaned itself up overnight. lol Hope also, that a new day brings new energy for you.
02-27-2011, 10:03 AM
Happy Academy Awards/ Oscar Day for all of you movie buffs out there!
Just did my Sunday weigh-in. No change up or down this week. Looking at that as a good thing, with how I'm struggling.
I did really well at the diner breakfast yesterday! Stuck to my plan of 2 eggs with dry rye toast. Enjoyed a great dinner out with my future in-laws (I have to say I am very lucky in that department. They are wonderful people and I am thrilled to soon be offically "joining" their family). I had a light side salad, one small piece of bread and a great vegetarian entree. Only tea and water to drink- not drinking my calories is a very easy rule for me to follow. No one had room for dessert at the restaurant....
My trouble came when DF and I got home and I started craving sugar. I went beyond just 1 treat from the Valentine's candy box and ended up making a big dessert. I just didn't listen to my No Choice! card taped to my kitchen cupboard. I guess its back to struggles during the after dinner hours... I have my safeguards in place, I just didn't abide by them.
We are having people over tonight to watch the Oscars. I'm planning on making a couple on plan snacks to have.
BillBE I am so envious of your close proximity to Whole Foods and Trader Joe's! We have a couple health food stores in my area, but none as wonderful as WF and TJ's!
I will concentrate on getting back on track. I will take my motivation from reading all of your posts, and know we are all in this together!
02-27-2011, 11:58 AM
Complaining about the scale in my post is almost magic -- I almost always hit a new low shortly after and then feel silly about complaining! This new low put me in a new decade of kilograms (my scale is in kgs because that's how DH set it up). It takes a long time to get to a new kilogram decade so this feels like a big deal.
WI: -0.45kg (new low), Exercise: +95* 1140/1300 minutes for February, Food: 90%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
Thanks, ChefJoona, for the Happy Oscar Day wish. Watching all those movies definitely ramped up my excitement for this evening!
02-27-2011, 01:06 PM
Sunny this Sunday in California. I feel that this weekend has been more successful foodwise. I see progress. Although yesterday's food wasn't as written (over tasting a bread I made) I compensated for the calories, enjoyed OP dinner and had none of the self flagellation and remorse of past weekends. Maybe this is the transition into maintenance that I am looking for. Like BBE story of the croissant, I work the Beck program not in place of a life but to enjoy my life sanely. All in all, hovering a couple of pounds near my ticker weight which always is the case this TOM, and I am content. DH will take DS to the ranch and four wheel like maniacs while I correct papers for hours getting ready for report cards. It will be nice to get them done.
RubyJan: LOL with BBE because I googled meditative lyric as well. I am an English teacher and could only guess at what they were.
onebyone: I have been weary in my job this past season. What helps me walk through is knowing there is change on the other side if I continue to progress.
Lexxiss: Congrats on a world record nap. That is information your body is giving you.
gardenerjoy: Congrats on your new low. A great feeling.
ChefJoona: Enjoy the Oscars. Ironically, I grew up in Malibu (fame city) but never watch. Celebrity doesn't impress me as much as the people writing in this blog.
02-27-2011, 01:23 PM
OnebyOne said it so succintly that I couldn't add another word. I too am weary. I understand the weariness from moving which is one reason why every time our lease comes up for renewal we take one look at each other and shake our heads "No way!" The last time we moved was from one building to this one. That was three years ago. Only because we were booted out because the property management was in the midst of a major renovation. We did get a completely remodeled apartment out of the deal, which I promptly added my own stamp and re-painted/wallpapered and refurbished.
What I am weary from is being unemployed for 18 months and not any closer to knowing what I want to do than before. I gave up looking for work in what I used to do a year ago. I'm taking an evening course which is self-paced but I need to take the risk and test on the material I have been cramming in my brain. I am so conflicted about this and I have been since I began.
Amazingly, we have managed to adapt our once two income lifestyle to one income but I feel huge amounts of guilt that my husband is carrying this load all by himself. I am accustomed to carrying my weight (no pun intended) in our relationship and I feel like such a slacker. I envy people who know what they like to do and then go and do it. There are a lot of things that I enjoy doing but I wouldn't want to do them for pay. Does that make sense? I am really drowning in a lack of real purpose in my life so, in the meantime, I just do what I can and hope that the "answer" is somewhere soon to be found.
In the meantime, I want to get my "house" in order and that means getting this weight down, exercise consistent and "fix" this problem. I still may be undecided about what I want to be "when I grow up" but, at least, I'll be thin.
March is going to be a busy month and I am already feeling anxious about it.
Credit moi: for getting additional sleep although my bedtime has creeped back up to 2:30 am.
No added sweets yesterday except for the mixed berry multi grain oat cereal I love to have. No added sugar but it sure could fool you. Must be the berries.
Logged all the food I ate this past month in spite of the embarassment I felt in doing so.
My "friend" visited last night and I lost 4 lbs as a result. It might be my saving grace for a month of really challenging eating. Tomorrow I weigh in officially and yes March 1st is Tuesday. I figure it this way. New month and new opportunities to do my best.
Have a blessed day all!
02-27-2011, 02:33 PM
Oops, double post.
02-27-2011, 02:49 PM
Thanks MasonDixonMama, and congrats on the 15! :) Jmaf, I am right there with you, trying to increase the exercise. ;) I think it helps keep me in my body even when I go off plan or binge, and it helps with my mood.
The last few days I have been having slip ups. I felt it happening, the old familiar behaviors, the internal struggle, all of it. I was losing the battle in my mind. Funny but true part of the story…. I was on my way to get something that was not on plan. I am in traffic, and look up, when what do I see but a sign about Impressionist and Post-Impressionist Artists. There is a famous image on the sign that I recognize. But then I think, it’s not that I just know it in general, I have seen it recently. Then I realize that this is where I've seen Van Gogh's self-portrait recently, in the Beck thread, avatar pic of BillBlueEyes. It was like a sign (ok both literally and figuratively ;)), reminding me that, hey this thing is out there, this thing can work, remember this thing, stop and think about what you are doing.
So even though I have not been successful in avoiding the slip ups these last few days, I took seeing that image as a sign, in the larger picture, that I am on a course that will help me, if I will stick with it. The book is like a roadmap of sorts, even addressing what I have been going through lately, and there are people here who have used it and been successful. If I keep reading the book, and keep learning the steps, and keep practicing, I will get there. I will have the tools and know how to use them.
So, my credits, even though part of me feels down:
I am reminding myself how important it is to give myself credit for the things I have done well, even though I have had slip ups, so that I don’t just focus on the negative and give up.
I got note cards and sticky notes and a travel photo album to carry the advantage cards and pics of important things that are reminders of why I am doing this.
I got out old photos of myself when I was at a healthy weight and put them out, to remind myself that it is possible to be there again, that I was there for most of my life, that it is not magic, and that it is not out of my reach. The basic rules of healthy eating and exercise do apply to me too, so I can stop fearing that there is something wrong with me that would prevent reaching and maintaining a healthy weight.
I have continued to eat healthy food, so I am getting nutrition, even though I have also been eating lots of junk that is off plan.
I have continued to get exercise, which improves my mood and makes me feel more capable and stronger.
I have continued reading the book, continued reading posts, and continued posting, so that even though I am frustrated with myself, I am not withdrawing or quitting.
02-27-2011, 07:38 PM
:wave:Hi Coaches! I'm SO excited! I have been busy reading Beck Diet Solution and counting calories on about.com. Yay me! I've found the counter much easier to use there than on SparkPeople. Also, they include a personal journal page and links to great articles and calculating tools. Calculated my BMI and BMR(?) then it automatically calculated my calories needed. ok. enough said.
I'm practicing being hungry right now, so please forgive any rambling! LOVE being hungry by the way! It is NOT an emergency - I will NOT die! :D
Here's my 1st journal page ... incorporating everything I've learned from BDS so far. PLEASE advise if I am not doing this right.
January 2011 weighed 210 lbs (need to check this with nurse at next dr. visit)
My goal is to weigh in the 130s and be a size 8-10.
When I lose my excess weight:
•I will feel confident and proud of myself
•I will have a strong, attractive body
•I will have eliminated cravings & the guilt that follows caving in
•I will have set a good example for my daughter and granddaughter
In order to lose my excess weight I will:
•Be mindful of every morsel that crosses my lips
•Record every bite
•Calculate calories and stay within my daily limit
•Research caloric needs & whether it's best to eat every few hours or only 3 times a day
•Do cardio exercise at least 5 days per week
•Weight train at least 3 days per week
•Remember that hunger is NOT an emergency - I will not die if I do not eat immediately!
•Eat slowly and mindfullly - enjoying every bite
•NOT cave in to cravings - remember the negative feelings and after-effects of caving in
•Realize the difference between hunger/cravings/desire to experience food
•Push myself to exercise every day
Mindful eating is slow and conscious. When I eat mindfully I realize what I am eating and the amount of food I am consuming. I will not overeat because I am consciously eating only what my body physically needs.
•I will eat ONLY when physically hungry
•If nutritious choices are not available I will WAIT until they are
•I will NOT eat junk foods just to hush my hunger pangs - they will pass!
•I will remember that if I choose to eat junk then I will feel guilty and angry at myself
•I will remember that hunger pangs will pass in a few minutes - I can eat when healthy choices are available
•I will remember that there is a 20 minute lag between mouth & mind.
•I will WAIT for my mind to catch up so that I do not overeat.
•I will listen to my body when I eat, not my cravings
•I will NOT eat less than 3 hours from my last food
Thoughts on Hunger - page 125 Beck Diet Solution:
•Hunger is never an emergency
•Most people don't eat everytime they're hungry. They wait until their next meal. I should too.
•I need to exerience hunger to decrease my fear of it. The best way to get over a fear is to face it.
Thoughts on Cravings - page 127 Beck Diet solution:•Cravings usually peak the first few weeks of a diet
•Once I limit or stop eating the foods I crave, the cravings will deminish significantly.
•I need to learn how to deal with cravings
•Waiting out cravings increases my ability to tolerate them
•The more often I wait out cravings, the less intense and frequent they will become
•If I don't cave in then I will feel proud of myself
When I feel a craving or a need to experience food I will:
•Label it: Tell myself it will pass - it is NOT an emergency
•Stand firm: Tell myself I do NOT want to eat junk - I want to lose weight & be healthy
•Imagine the aftermath of giving in - self disgust / binging / self hatred / staying fat & unhappy
•Remind myself that I am strong enough to resist cravings
•Do deep breathing and focus on my future healthy/strong/attractive body
•Drink water or crystal light
•Distance myself from the food - or - throw it out (better in the trash than on my thighs!)
I'll get back to reading everyones entries tomorrow. Have to leave before my DH gets back. It anoys him for me to be dieting. WHY did I pray for a man who likes fat girls?????
02-27-2011, 09:54 PM
Sooner or later I will deal with overeating for once and for all. I hate this roller coaster I am on. It is so hard to deal with regrouping all the time. (Better than giving up altogether though. Credit?).
My eating has been ridiculous the last few days. Living one big sabatoging thought- "Go for it", "If I have to deal with all this ^$*& then I get to eat", "I will fix this later" 'I am too busy", "I am too tired", and so on.
I had a hard week. Dealing with ongoing family drama with my sister who has some pretty major mental health issues and involves her poor kids in all her problems. On top of that, this week was supposed to be my last week of doing 2 jobs, and now the person than is filling in for me on one of the jobs is on sick leave and I don't know when he will be back. Really I was just hanging in and now everything is a huge mess. Can't be helped but I am so disappointed. March is year end so it is **** on wheels at the best of times. So many people away on vacation and all the admin people going crazy due to year-end. I am just tired.
So those are my issues to deal with and I will. Thanks for always being here to listen. Your support is so appreciated. I hope I can become a better support for all of you when things settle down.
That's it. I do have some credits for today. Even though I am so discouraged that my eating isn't better I have kept up pretty well with making sure I exercise every day.
- walking 30 minutes with mom
- doing weights
- reading advantage and response cards
- reading a bit of the Pink Book
- posting here
- packing lunch for tomorrow
02-28-2011, 12:09 AM
DH left with a full carload again. He's about halfway there by now. I'm nervous about him on the road tonight. My anxiety manifested itself by eating too much food and buying bad food and eating it with DH. He was a real mess tonight. I didn't even realize it until he was getting ready to go. I found myself telling him to relax and I went out to get his comfort food: chicken wings. I swear this move is the toughest thing ever. I don't really think about moving as a hard thing but geez. He's a mess/I'm a mess/the place is a mess. He won't ask for $ help for the move from the boss so he keeps talking about us moving using a panel van. A panel van?? It's like we're 18 moving into our first place or something. We'd need like three loads in a panel van and who's moving our stuff anyway? Us? Does he think we're lifting dressers and boxes and mattresses into the van? I'm like beside myself with this but even worse we're not even close to discussing this for real as I a) have no estimate of how many boxes/bits of furniture we have to be moved so I can't really get an estimate and b) I can't bring moving details up with him-he's completely overwhelmed. I think I need to do all the arranging and just present him with the facts and the bills.
I'm just surprised he's in such bad shape. I'd better get my end of things looked after ie. the packing. I'm so glad he's moving into our new place on Tuesday. He really needs his own space ASAP.
Thanks for allowing me to vent here coaches. I do believe that even though my food is not so great it would be a complete disaster were I not able to share some of this here.
*credit for posting, for looking after my DH and my mom, for still wanting to be OP even when I stray and for recognizing this is not the time to beat myself up.
02-28-2011, 05:27 AM
Diet Coaches/Buddies - I wasn't expecting the six inches of light snow; it won't last long and wasn't much exercise to remove. It didn't keep me from getting in a good walk, CREDIT moi. Three large recycle bins of papers and stuff are by the front door to take out this morning; CREDIT moi.
Ate more at a potluck than I wished - Ouch. Think I was distracted by a minor annoyance going on instead of concentrating on my food. I only had one plate of healthy veggie options, CREDIT moi, but dipped into the dessert table for a couple of gooey pies that I usually avoid. If I had a feelings-meter I bet there would be a one-to-one correlation between feelings and calories ingested.
onebyone - Kudos for getting your DH off with a full car load - again. Major insight, "recognizing this is not the time to beat myself up" - that's a winner.
CeeJay - Ouch for the overload, particularly with work and family which can't be walked away from. Kudos for keeping up the exercise thought it all.
Joy (gardenerjoy) - LOL that "complaining" is the magic white feather for losing weight - but Congrats on the new kilo-decade nevertheless.
Debbie (Lexxiss) - Sleeping through dinner wins twice - but it'd be hard to do on a daily basis, LOL.
Malibu maryann - Good reminder, "I work the Beck program not in place of a life but to enjoy my life sanely." Kudos for a successful weekend.
ChefJoona - Congrats on winning in the in-laws department - with the bonus that you can eat on-plan when with them. Big Ouch for evening cravings - the time might come when those Valentine candies look more like a threat than a treat and have to go with your DF to his office.
pamatga - Yay for a remodeled apartment, but BIG Ouch at having to move to get it. I wish you well in fighting off the feelings of guilt for unemployment. One of the joys of Beck is that guilt has no place in our eating - a great freeing of the spirit which can then be applied to all parts of our lives.
Gwen - Powerful list you've composed there, thanks for sharing. I particularly like, "When I feel a craving or a need to experience food I will: •Label it: Tell myself it will pass - it is NOT an emergency"
skygirl - LOL at Van Gogh's self-portrait staring at you from the billboard. Neat to see that as a sign to stay the course. Yep, "it is not magic, and it is not out of my reach."
Readers - chapter 2
Experience the Difference
The Beck Diet for Life Program can help you in other ways, too, since I have found that dieters often derive unexpected benefits. For example, you can:
. . .
Become a more assertive person. You will learn how to make time in your schedule to eat properly, ask for what you need at restaurants, and nicely turn down offers to eat unplanned food. You will feel entitled to get your needs met, even if it means disappointing or inconveniencing someone else. Many dieters find that they spontaneously apply their newly developed skills to assert themselves in other ares of their lives, too.
. . .
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D, The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 25.
02-28-2011, 10:42 AM
Still struggling with my committment. I'm really not sure what's happening. I had to really convince myself to log on a post this morning- I'm glad I'm here though.
Had friends over to watch the Oscars last night. I did find a way to get rid of all the Valentine's Day candy- put it out last night to share. It is almost all gone. I think that will be helpful- not having it in the house. In general I also stuck to my plan for eating last night. It really helped to have prepared my own low-cal healthy options so I had an alternative to the fatty snacks friends brought.
Grocery shopped yesterday and bought ingredients for a healthy recipe to make for dinners this week. I have a fridge full of veggies too.
Credit for posting, as this is my way of keeping myself connected and committed. I haven't reached my goal, so there is still work to do!
02-28-2011, 11:44 AM
Yesterday was a good Beck day. Until my sister leaves it's just hard to have a "plan" to stick with. It is always taking twists and turns. With that information yesterday, I talked DH into lifting weights while I rode my stationary bike. It worked- he distracted me and I got 9 miles in. The family decided to go to Dim Sum and I spent computer time figuring out what and how much I could have. *credit* my following Beck principles and sticking with it. We took our real bikes down to Denver and I got another 7 miles in. Exercise sure helps. Kirk asked me this morning, "What's the plan?" I answered, "There is no plan until we hear from mom and sis". I will get on my lil' bike while I wait.
BillBlueEyes, ouch for distraction which no doubt allowed your physical self to wander towards the gooey pies. *credit* for yet more "stuff" out the door and a walk taken despite the snow.
ChefJoona,glad to hear that the V-Day candy finally disappeared! Great strategy! *credit* for logging on and posting even when you didn't feel like it.
gardenerjoy, I don't complain about the scale-maybe I should start. Congrats on a new low. Thx for clarifying on the kgs...I had always wondered why my scale didn't do that. Note: I paused here and read your latest cookbook review. Thx!
maryann, *credit* for a weekend where you noticed "progress". Maybe this "is the transition into maintenance" that you are looking for. Thx for your comment to me on my long nap. "That is information your body is giving you." I took notice, and got 10 hours again last night.
pamatga, thanks for trusting us enough to let us know the depth of your "weariness". I do think it helps to acknowledge it. Knowing you can "get your house in order" is very empowering. I'll second you on waving goodbye to February.
skygirl, I am sitting here smiling at the thought of you driving for off plan food and seeing the "sign", reminding you of your Beck plan. I do believe that we are on a course that will help us. Yay for listing your credits, and especially for not withdrawing or quitting.
Gwen, your excitement was felt here in Colorado as I read your post. *credit* for all your footwork and time spent with such detail. I paused at your comment regarding your DH, "it annoys him for me to be dieting." I'm wondering if "getting healthy" is ever an acceptable description VS "dieting". For me, it seems to work quite well.
CeeJay, *credit* for checking in, despite your feeling so disappointed right now. It is hard to keep regrouping, but is far better than giving up all together. When you list your credits, you can see that you are still moving ahead. Each small step you take forward does add up in the end. hang in there!
onebyone, I hope to see your Zone list reappearing...it's my thought that perhaps as you check off some of your zones that some of the other answers may become clearer. Take care, friend. :hug: Great that you are recognizing that you do have *credits*
02-28-2011, 12:28 PM
Made it through the weekend without going off my eating plan, but definitely struggled a bit. I was pretty hungry both Sat. and Sun. afternoons and felt focused on food. Didn't overeat, but ended up eating my meals earlier than I would have liked. I still need to work on being able to delay my eating - without getting into an anxious state of thinking when my next meal will be.
Still working on getting exercise in - it seemed like I let other things get in the way of exercise this weekend. I'm hoping to get outside for a walk today after my lunch break. DONE!
ChefJoona: Glad you logged in. Sounds like you were also struggling a bit more this weekend. Kudos for putting out the V. candy for others to eat.
BillBE: "If I had a feelings-meter I bet there would be a one-to-one correlation between feelings and calories ingested. " ...Yep, that would be me also. Sounds like you're making great progress with your decluttering.
onebyone: Sounds like this is a stressful time for you - kudos for recognizing this and posting here. Sorry also to hear about moving away and leaving your mother. My father passed away in Oct due to complications of Alzheimers - he suffered for a long time and didn't know any of us in the end. Each of us kids dealt with it in different ways. Unfortunately, all of the logistics of arranging for his care was left to my sister and me - it was extremely stressful, especially since his money ran out and we had to deal with trying to get him public assistance. My mother is now suffering from dementia, so we will likely need to go through this all over again :(
Gwen: "When I eat mindfully I realize what I am eating and the amount of food I am consuming." - this has been one thing that has helped me greatly and I am still working on. I try to really *look* at my food - and even take a deep whiff when no ones looking! - before I eat my first forkfull.
maryann: "I work the Beck program not in place of a life but to enjoy my life sanely." Well said! I'm adding this to my cards.
CeeJay: Sounds like you're going through a rough bit. Absolutely get credit for not giving up.
skygirl: Love that you saw the picture! I think I might print out a picture of Van Gogh for my office :)
pamatga: Sounds like you're also going through a rough time - definite credit for logging your food.
gardenerjoy: Congrats on setting the new kg low!
Lexxiss: I love biking also! Hopefully the weather here will be cooperative soon. For now, I just have my spin bike, but it's not the same as biking outdoors.
I hope everyone has a successful day!
02-28-2011, 12:38 PM
I am reaading all of your comments. I am going to try and comment on each one starting in March. I have three groups I report to and I am doing my best to juggle everyone and give everyone the attention you all deserve.
jmaf, lexxis and gwen: I hear ya and I am right there with you.
Overall weight lose for the month of February: -4.2 lbs.
I had many more calories each day than recommended. I know my body and I could have easily lost 8-10 lbs this past month but my not-so-secret love affair (I am the most honest sinner I know) with chocolate and candy kept me tetered to aiding and abating my "love affair" with delicious sweets.
I am most proud of the fact that I have increased my activity level during February. That saved my a** in terms of weigh-ins.
I lost 1 whole inch, between my arms, bust and thighs. It's the outcome of the strength exercises I've been doing.
Drank lots of water. Reported in my diet blog here my stats and month end results.
I have high hopes for the month of March. Let's get this party started....:hug:
Love you all!
02-28-2011, 08:00 PM
Late with posting but I'm here. Second new low in two days this morning -- that hasn't happened in a very long time! I'm thinking lots of exercise and staying on plan did the job for me!
WI: -0.25kg (new low), Exercise: +110* 1250/1300 minutes for February, Food: 100%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
02-28-2011, 08:21 PM
Hello to all: I noticed a common thread of several people struggling with slips/poor eating - Ceejay, Skygirl,Onebyone,Chef Joona - I hear the fear of never getting back on plan. I think from hearing many of your stories and knowing mine, we should remember this is important business. For me it is the most important thing I do on a daily basis because if I am obsessed with eating or not eating I have NOTHING left to give to my loved ones. I remember (and I am not proud of this)several times while babysitting leaving children by going outside for a half an hour to retrieve food I had thrown away into the garbage. I have stopped on busy highways on the side of the road because I swerved, dropping the food I had purchase on the floor while trying to shove it in my mouth. For me it is incredibly important to not minimize my addiction. If I am not perfect today, at least I have a plan. I have taken time this moment to blog here. I took time to pack my food for the day. I sat (mostly) and ate my lunch. All of these things count. I weigh in everyday even if I wasn't perfect the day before. All these things keep me from the insanity. The weightloss is secondary (although admittedly it feels primary at times.) My best thoughts and hope for all of us JUST FOR TODAY.
02-28-2011, 09:41 PM
This morning I gave a quick call to my friends who are moving across the city tomorrow to see how they were doing.:fr: was the answer. Their two boys were freaking out, the truck they rented was extra huge, they were exhausted and running on an hour's sleep. They are loathe to ask for help from anyone so I just said "I'm coming over to help you pack". I figured if I say I am their friend now was the time to be their friend and put my friendship into action.
We had freezing rain this morning, then it snowed very heavily for hours. I had to make arrangments for DH (who made it to Toronto safe and sound last night thank goodness) to meet up with J at my studio to pay my studio's rent and to get receipts for me; (it happened thank goodness) all before I could leave for my friend's palce. I got there around noon. I brought my own packing tape/packing gun/black marker and I was right to do it as they were low on all supplies. The last I wanted to do was stop and wait for the tape gun.
Coaches, it was all I could do to keep my jaw from falling on the ground when I walked through the door.
They are/were NOWHERE NEAR ready to move. My friend T got the moving truck and it is a big one-22' instead if the 16' he asked for, but he got it for the price of the 16' and when I left at 6pm it was a good thing they got the big one as it's half full. They are moving from a 2bdrm house into a 3 bdrm apt. No basement or backyard or garage or shed as they have now.
What was shocking were all the half-opened/just started/half-empty boxes everywhere. Every inch of the the floor in every room was covered with them, yet there was nothing finished. No boxes were taped shut and labelled. they've spent a month opening old s**t and tossing it and consolidating and throwing things away but not packing stuff up until this week. And their 2 sons are freaking out and the parents are exhausted and no one is dealing with anything. This morning I asked them how their box situation was and they said "we have lots of boxes" and they don't. I gave them about 50 boxes out of the free boxes I got a month ago, so they still had some of those, and they also got these crappy grocery store boxes that are all broken down. I ended up giving them another 30 of my packing boxes when T dropped me off at home this evening. I said they could give them back as they unpacked but not to hurry as I will get more boxes.
I have now seen what happens if I avoid taking this packing/moving business seriously. I am really considering having some kind of junk removal service take away the contents of my basement once I go through it for the treasures and then have them take the rest away. I may have them do the same in other parts of the house too. I have zero interest in hauling things upstairs, or downstairs, and then moving them with us, only to realize I took too much stuff. Better to get rid of it. I doubt we'll have a panel van only (DH's dream) worth of stuff but it won't be much more. DH has given me the greenlight to get rid of stuff and so I shall; and I have to be ruthless about it NOW if I want to move the weekend of March 19/20. I have no time to waste.
I did manage to pack up a whole room for my friends today. This felt good. I wanted to keep helping but there was nothing more that I could do as they were lost in the sorting/flinging/deciding stage of many of their boxes. I kept telling them they had to keep packing boxes and they would just have to sort at the new place over the next year. Their job for today was to pack things up. They've run out of time but they were too exhausted to focus, too scattered and freaked out to do it and I couldn't, no matter how I tried, get them to deal with it. They still have tomorrow so they may be sufficiently freaked by the morning to be able to just pack. I told T to just show up at my door if he needed my help in the morning and I'd happily go with him to help. They have several folks on the other end ready to help once the truck arrives at the new place so they're okay that way. Anyway I am not going there. But they have many hard-working hours until then.
COACHES I CANNOT ALLOW THE SAME THING TO HAPPEN TO ME!!!!
*what a great lesson for me today. I am so grateful for the wake-up call*
03-01-2011, 05:52 AM
Please join us as this discussion continues on
Beck Diet For Life/Solution – March 2011 – Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/beck-diet-solution/226903-beck-diet-life-solution-march-2011-support-discussion-buddy-coach.html)
You can find the list of previous (or more current) monthly Beck threads here on 3 Fat Chicks via:
List of Monthly Beck Threads for Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/beck-diet-solution/206004-list-monthly-beck-threads-support-discussion-buddy-coach.html)