100 lb. Club - Carrie Fisher put it out there...




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DixC Chix
01-27-2011, 08:00 PM
"The world is a hostile place for a fat person".

Wow - I am surprised to see Carrie Fisher as the Jenny Craig spokesperson. She's never been known for pulling her punches but I was quite surprised that they allowed her the leeway to make a fairly controversial comment.

I must say I gotta love her boldness.


luckymommy
01-27-2011, 08:05 PM
I'm so glad she said that...I find that statement to be quite true. Not for everyone and not all the time, but there is definitely a certain amount of acceptable discrimination. You can go to a comedy club and hear fat jokes and it's considered to be normal. I don't think I"m overly sensitive to the subject. I just think people don't get that for me, it's an addiction and beyond my control...not gluttony. Anyway, thanks for posting.

sept15lija
01-28-2011, 06:52 AM
That is a bold statement....but IMO true. I can't believe how much friendlier people are to me now. I always felt like the world was a friendly place before, but now it's different.


Trazey34
01-28-2011, 08:55 AM
Maybe it's a Canadian thing, LOL, but I can honestly say in 40 plus years on this planet, and 20 of them as a big ole gal, I did not experience hostility because of my weight! Maybe my personality didn't lend itself to it, maybe Canadians are friendly, i have NO IDEA! I hear horror stories on here on how horribly people are treated/have been treated - sometimes by their OWN families!!! and wonder how they managed to get out of bed at all !!! I put it down to people suck, LOL , and if some a$$-clown wants to be mean to a fat person to make themselves feel better, I pity them.

I also sometimes wonder if a person, after losing weight, is more OPEN to friendliness???

reptogirl
01-28-2011, 01:16 PM
its like the lifetime movie called fat like me, where the skinny popular jock girl thinks that fat people just aren't out going and that is why they are treated like they are, until she puts on the fat suit

it is hard to get out of bed when you know what you have to face everyday, especially when you are in high school and over emotional anyways, you live through it, at least i did

Bac0s
01-28-2011, 02:10 PM
Maybe it's a Canadian thing, LOL, but I can honestly say in 40 plus years on this planet, and 20 of them as a big ole gal, I did not experience hostility because of my weight! Maybe my personality didn't lend itself to it, maybe Canadians are friendly, i have NO IDEA! I hear horror stories on here on how horribly people are treated/have been treated - sometimes by their OWN families!!! and wonder how they managed to get out of bed at all !!! I put it down to people suck, LOL , and if some a$$-clown wants to be mean to a fat person to make themselves feel better, I pity them.

I also sometimes wonder if a person, after losing weight, is more OPEN to friendliness???

I agree, especially with the bolded. I think it's two part. I think that after losing weight and gaining confidence, formerly overweight people often become more approachable, outgoing, friendly...

I also think that people are less judgmental of people who are closer to normal weight vs overweight.

Summerblue
01-28-2011, 02:27 PM
I live in the land of FIT AND TRIM..........Austin, Tx - where everyone is a health nut of some sort. Tons of bikers, runners, etc....

I am joining them now :)

I don't really feel like people are 'mean' to me -but I have felt the up and down look before.

BigBlueStar
01-28-2011, 02:29 PM
I have to agree with Trazeys post, esp. the last part. And Bacos point.
Other than a few school yard remarks when I was young I have never ever had any adult be even close to hostile toward me nor I have ever felt a hint of being discriminated against. North Dakota is as close to Canada as you can get though, lol, so we might just be a nicer breed up here ;)

I'm interested to see if I see any difference once I'm closer to my goal, like sept15lija. From my life experiences I just can't imagine it tho. :?:

DixC Chix
01-28-2011, 03:31 PM
Trazey - I have always thought that it was more acceptable in Canada that a gal did not have to be thin to be considered healthy. I chalked it up to a cultural thing. Your country as a whole seems more diverse AND accepting than most areas of the US.

As a former thin to fat to thin (and now back to fat trying to be thin again) person, I can tell you that I got more attention from guys (in a social setting) when I was thin. I had more opportunities in my job and the bosses engaged me in conversations more than when I was fat. I received more bonuses and more money in the bonuses when thin rather than fat. I was the same intelligent, hard-working employee but was treated differently. I believe they had a skewed perception of competence in that I was more 'competent' at work if I had the discipline to keep the weight off.

There has been many a sociology project done on the treatment of fat people (as well as wheel-chair bound, blind, etc) and I have yet to see results that do not show that people who are 'different' are indeed treated differently than people more within the social norm.

saef
01-28-2011, 04:59 PM
I received more bonuses and more money in the bonuses when thin rather than fat. I was the same intelligent, hard-working employee but was treated differently. I believe they had a skewed perception of competence in that I was more 'competent' at work if I had the discipline to keep the weight off.

My experience bears this out, also. After I lost weight, male and female managers at my company who'd barely nodded at me when we'd passed in the hallway -- even though I'd worked on projects with them, where we met together every few weeks-- would stop & engage me in conversation.

Among the female managers, my hair, my clothes, my shoes became topics of conversation. Suddenly, I seemed to belong to some kind of girls' club, composed of female managers,where everyone was doing yoga & Pilates, trying to lose those last 5 pounds, or complaining about hotel spas & fitness rooms, and really into clothes for the office & client engagements.

And I'm not a manager. I lost out on a managerial position a few years ago.

If it opened up again, I would definitely reapply. I think I'd be considered more seriously. And my major accomplishment since then would be losing weight & dressing better.

MissKoo
01-28-2011, 06:09 PM
I just love Carrie Fisher. I think she knows what she is talking about!

Her book (and later movie) Postcards from the Edge is a very funny look about how harshly woman are judged on their looks in Hollywood (also about drugs and crazy-making mothers but we're talking about looks here). I don't know if Canadians are nicer (more accepting) to overweight people than Americans but heavy people here are, for the most part, treated like they have a very contagious social disease.

I saw one of those hidden camera shows last week where a heavy woman in a restaurant (an actress) orders very fattening food and is chided by the waitstaff to order less food (or different food). When the waiter was played by a man, all the onlookers thought he was terribly rude to the heavy woman. When the waiter was played by a cute, young blonde gal with a nice figure the men at the next table not only didn't think there was a problem with being rude to the heavy customer but THEY FELT BAD FOR THE WAITRESS!! One of the older men at the next table said "It's okay - you can come sit with us" to the rude waitress.

All that being said: Carrie is awesome. She is smart and isn't afraid to speak her mind and is a survivor.

Celyia
01-28-2011, 07:26 PM
I'd have to agree with Carrie on this one. Maybe it's from growing up in Los Angeles, but I found that perfect strangers would be absolutely cruel about my weight. I used to work as a waitress (so being friendly/outgoing was part of the job description), but good god. I'd get comments about being overweight daily. (At the time, I was perhaps 180 on a body with an ideal of 150s-160s. Still, I've got some serious horror stories about incidents there.)

I can't tell you how many times I'd be walking down the street and have people yell insults at me. Or the times I've been asked to leave stores before (and I quote) "We don't serve your.... *looks my body over with lip curled in disgust* ... size here. Please leave." (One manager I spoke with said that his shop reserved the right to serve who they wished and, to be honest - "nothing personal, lady - we just don't want a reputation for fatties.")

I think some people have been lucky and have lived in very nice, supportive communities. Others of us have lived in places that were a bit more shallow and have gotten bitten by it.

Also, a little side note. They originally didn't want to hire Carrie Fisher for the part of Princess Leia. They admitted that, from the beginning, she was the best -actress- for the part but the directors kept saying she was simply "too fat" at 5'1 and 105lbs.

Makes you wonder about the movie culture and how unrealistic expectations cross over into society.

sept15lija
01-28-2011, 07:48 PM
Maybe it's a Canadian thing, LOL, but I can honestly say in 40 plus years on this planet, and 20 of them as a big ole gal, I did not experience hostility because of my weight! Maybe my personality didn't lend itself to it, maybe Canadians are friendly, i have NO IDEA! I hear horror stories on here on how horribly people are treated/have been treated - sometimes by their OWN families!!! and wonder how they managed to get out of bed at all !!! I put it down to people suck, LOL , and if some a$$-clown wants to be mean to a fat person to make themselves feel better, I pity them.

I also sometimes wonder if a person, after losing weight, is more OPEN to friendliness???

Yeah I agree as a fellow Canadian, that I didn't experience hostility...except for a few memorable moments in grade school. :rolleyes: But I just find people even more friendly and accepting. I've noticed it a lot with salespeople in stores, who before wouldn't have given me the time of day, now stop to see if I need any help. But I agree with your second point too - I think losing some weight has given my self esteem a boost and therefore I put myself out there more.

Jen
01-28-2011, 09:34 PM
Another fellow Canadian and no I've never had people be cruel as I have seen described here. Not even when I was a kid.

BigBlueStar
01-29-2011, 01:15 AM
VERY interesting!

It really isn't something I ever thought of and I'm glad I haven't had the experiences other posters have. Here in ND I think maybe everything is a little more utilitarian than other places in the US. Nice clothes are great to have, but the majority of us focus on their utility. Little fancy cars are great, but don't do much for us up here. Same with bodies maybe? The pressure just isn't as great to look or act or be a certain way here . Go rural life :)

saef
01-29-2011, 08:20 AM
Community standards, my dears.

If, when you go to your Saturday morning Pilates class, you look at all the women beside you in class with their bare feet sticking out in the air, and all of them have perfect glossy pedicures, except yourself, you may start thinking about going for a pedicure.

If you are walking down the street in Midtown, and every woman you pass is wearing skinny jeans, most tucked into boots, while yours are boot-cut, you may think you got left behind a little bit.

If you attend a lecture, or a gallery opening where a friend is showing her paintings, and look around you, and find that, invariably, out of 100-plus females in attendance, you are always the fattest one in the room, at, say, a size 14, you may think maybe it's time to lose a little weight.

If you are browsing through shops in NoLita, to pass time before meeting someone for a cup of coffee, just idly looking at clothes, and discover that, within a four-block radius, the largest size the boutiques carry is a 12, you may feel you're being left out of the party & you need to lose some weight.

If you are walking in the East 40s and 30s, and see a mob of people in line outside a storefront, all excited, and women coming out with heaped-up shopping bags, exclaiming about bargains, and see the words "Sample Sale" in the window, and go in yourself, and find the largest size available of these beautiful, beautiful & suddenly affordable cloths is a size 8, maybe a 6, and your size is in the double digits, then I defy you not to leave with a feeling of disappointment.

If you are having a cup of coffee in the West Village, and the photographers & models from Industria Superstudios come out for coffee or (in the case of the models) to smoke cigarettes, and there you are, a lump of humanity, without a camera around your neck to excuse yourself, while everyone else is 5'11" or 6', pale, leggy, attenuated, and blonde (and likely Eastern European, and no older than 19), then you will feel short, dumpy & comparatively old.

You need to have a cast-iron level of self-esteem & force of will not to be influenced by these things. You will either work to conform with the norms you see around you -- or, on your bad days, sink into a feeling of despair, that you just can't do it, you can't keep up with it all, so why even try?

If you pass your days without being exposed to these little moments when the Sesame Street song plays in your head: "One of these things is not like the others/ One of these things just doesn't belong" then it stands to reason that you are more likely to be at peace with yourself & not feeling pushed toward making a change to be more like the standards continually raised by the community around you.

ubergirl
01-29-2011, 08:39 AM
Sadly, agree with Saef, and it doesn't even have to be such an extreme situation.

While there are MANY obese people in America, none of those people seem to live in my neighborhood. Being morbidly obese made me freakishly out of whack in my world.

Besides, perhaps it's not like this in Canada, but at least in the United States, take a good look around your workplace. It is LIKELY that even if many women are obese, it's the skinny ones who are in charge. This is not 100% true, but it's truer than a lot of us would like to admit.

Plus, there are AMPLE studies that show that obesity actually cuts women's earning power, and that attractiveness in general is highly correlated with success.

Those are hard nuts to swallow, and I know that when I was morbidly obese my lack of self-confidence probably did affect me and was a factor in how I came across, but it is not the only factor.

Of course it depends. It depends where you live. It depends how you carry yourself. It depends where your fat is stored on your body-- some people can carry A LOT of extra weight and still look relatively good...

But I think it's unfair to fat people to make them feel that when they sense discrimination that it might be all in their head.