100 lb. Club - You have a pretty face....




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Just1More
01-25-2011, 05:45 PM
I swear this has to be the most irratating compliment a heavy girl can receive.

It kills me every time I hear it...I have heard it my ENTIRE LIFE. I just for once, hopefully very soon, will be complimented on SOMETHING other than my face...

I know the person saying it thinks it's a compliment, but my brain twists it into a "I should just be a floating head then I'd be beautiful, then no one would have look at anything "below the neck" on me ever again.:mad:


goodforme
01-25-2011, 05:46 PM
That's the worst compliment ever. Why can't they just say "you're pretty" instead of "certain parts of you are pretty and the rest of you is off-limits to comment" you know? Urgh.

I'm sorry!:hug:

tattoodles
01-25-2011, 07:06 PM
I used to hate "you don't look too bad for someone who's had a baby." Good to know I don't look "too bad" on a more lenient scale. I can only assume that if I looked the way I did and HADN'T had a baby they'd be telling me I was a beast.


joyfulloser
01-25-2011, 07:07 PM
I've gotta be honest here...I've said that before to overweight woman and man. I've also had it said to me when I was at my heaviest. I think it's all in how you perceive it and its intention. I'm not big on dishonesty and think it does NOTHING beneficial for all parties involved to say something you don't honestly feel.

That said, when I would say that "you've got a really pretty face" comment, what I really meant was, "you've already won half the battle...". I assume that's what was meant by those same comments directed at me. I never took offense, cuz IMHO...it's TRUE! I don't feel my body looked anything spectacular and I would actually be HURT if someone lied to my face and told me something they didn't actually believe.

After all..it's only FAT...you CAN lose it!;) Now skin color...or height...or even shoe size...not much to do about that...but comments about things I have the power to change...and that may actually be true..don't bother me. Inner beauty, and how kind we are in our ACTIONS for others is what really determines how BEAUTIFUL a person is anyways...

Just my take though.:)

PaulaM
01-25-2011, 10:18 PM
Just wait awhile, one day you'll hear you look great "for your age" LOL

LuvMyMr
01-25-2011, 10:38 PM
I have been saying this for a long time now. "You have a pretty face" too bad the rest of you looks like ****! I hate that too!

goal4agirl
01-26-2011, 02:56 AM
I swear this has to be the most irratating compliment a heavy girl can receive.

It kills me every time I hear it...I have heard it my ENTIRE LIFE. I just for once, hopefully very soon, will be complimented on SOMETHING other than my face...

I know the person saying it thinks it's a compliment, but my brain twists it into a "I should just be a floating head then I'd be beautiful, then no one would have look at anything "below the neck" on me ever again.:mad:
Oh I know I hate that! BTW...your little baby is so adorable!!

brokengently
01-26-2011, 04:00 AM
it makes me feel worse when i can't say the same thing about them lol... i'm mean :p

Jonesie
01-26-2011, 08:18 AM
it makes me feel worse when i can't say the same thing about them lol... i'm mean :p

Oh snap!. :lol:

JOLINA
01-26-2011, 09:11 AM
This is what I tell people that say I have a pretty face:
"Well, thank you, and while we are on the subject, I notice you have a pretty face too...sort of."

They don't know what to say.
:?:

DixC Chix
01-26-2011, 09:27 AM
I think it is worse when they can't even say your face is pretty - "your eyes are pretty". Yep, I get that a lot and it hurts.

joyfulloser
01-27-2011, 03:37 PM
For the life of me I can't figure out why so many woman feel they've gotta decode a compliment. "You've got a pretty face"...means just that...the viewer feels your face is pretty. It is not a phrase that needs "decoding". It doesn't mean that "you've got an ugly body" or "what a shame/waste the rest of you doesn't look as good" or any other decoded message.

We NEED to listen to what people say and stop READING too far into it.

Just my opinion...I guess I listen sometimes to the complaints of Men about Woman...and this one I'll have to agree with!;) Geez!:crazy:

goodforme
01-27-2011, 04:23 PM
Why can't they just say "you're pretty" instead


My original comment still stands. I don't say things to other women like "I love your jacket" I'll say "I love your outfit." It seems when someone singles out a part, they do it on purpose. :shrug:

tarick
01-27-2011, 04:27 PM
I've heard this so many times, we're more than just a pretty face!

AZ Sunrises
01-27-2011, 04:28 PM
You know, I have no problem with "you have such a pretty face". :) I do have a pretty face. I'll have a pretty face when I'm thinner too. There's a big difference between that and adding a qualifier at the end.

We're often so involved with our own insecurities that we hear criticism where there isn't any. "You look great" sets off a firestorm of thoughts of "You must have thought I was hideous before..." in some people.

The world really isn't out to get us because we're fat.

Chantelle
01-27-2011, 04:33 PM
I grew up in a country where the average female weighed anywhere from 95-100lbs (I was a chubby kid, and an even chubbier teenager), so the comments I had to deal with a lot were mainly along the lines of "You'd be so pretty if you lost weight!!" :moo: Yeah because I wasn't self-conscious enough without you pointing it out..lol. I can see how the "You have such a pretty face" could be dissected too much and taken wrong, but heck I almost wish people had said that to me, at least there isn't a qualifier at the end of it! :)

fillupthesky
01-27-2011, 04:34 PM
whenever i've gotten the "you've got such a pretty face" comment, its almost always been followed by "you should try to lose some weight". its mostly come from my mothers friends and some older family members. whenever they start the phrase, i end it for them..."yes, i know the rest of me sucks....what size pants are you wearing now????"
my mother, who has always been a relatively shy person, thinks its good that i stand up for myself :) she'll even leave the room so she won't laugh in front of them.

honestly, i try not to let it bother me too much. i take it from where it's coming from.

XLMuffnTop
01-27-2011, 05:00 PM
Sometimes someone means well and it comes out wrong; I can handle that. But I don't put up with backhanded comments/insults (You have a pretty face but...) My response would be:

"Why thank you! You have a very nice... um... so it got really cold today."

:devil:

joyfulloser
01-28-2011, 12:08 AM
Yes...I agree, it's the "qualifier" behind the compliment that's insulting and totally frustrating!!:mad:

Ok...ok....I've looked in the mirror, and said to my own self, "SELF, you would be soooooooooooo much prettier if you were to lose this weight"...

Now don't get me wrong...I believe in "tact" and it's not tactful to tell that to someone...

However, this IS what people feel...heck...this is what many people feel about THEMSELVES...I'm sure we all do, that's why we are doing something about it. The proof is how after we drop a few lbs, we can't get to the makeup counter fast enough, or to the salon to get that new haircut. FAT doesn't make you look ugly, it simply HIDES the beauty that is already there.

Please no offense ladies...I'm just expressing what some people may be too afraid to. Trust me...I'm my own worst critic...probably why I'm so thick skinned!:p

ThinningVegan
01-28-2011, 10:31 AM
I also cringe when I am told this. I have been told many many times "You have such a pretty face BUT you need to lose some weight" "You have such a pretty face AND you'd be so much hotter if you were thin."

Granted, as already said before, I KNOW I would be so much hotter if I were thin however, a lot of people would be a lot hotter if they

wore their hair different
wore different clothes
etc.
etc.

I think it's rude to give someone a backhanded compliment. Don't compliment someone at all in that case. I would never say to someone "You have such a great body but you'd look so much better if you dressed completely different" LOL :carrot: We all are who we are and everyone is beautiful. Could everyone use improvements? SURE! I bet 99.99999% of the people who are giving these backhanded compliments have a lot they aren't happy with about themselves too.

It's like the guys my husband makes fun of that he works with who are bald and pot bellied yet seem to be able to pick apart all the things they don't like about a certain model/celebrity/ect. I mean... seriously?

mmel3283
01-28-2011, 10:44 AM
When I was 12 years old...My aunt told me I had a beautiful face...and that It'd be a knock out if I just lost weight.


Ummm...totally not necessary.