Pregnant - Nursing - Others obsessing about my weight during pregnancy

01-25-2011, 09:20 AM
DH's family is waaaay too concerned about my weight during this pregnancy, it's driving me a bit nuts! So far I've lost 9 lbs (I'll be 8 weeks on Friday) and it's NOT because I'm starving myself or anything. I eat until I'm full just that. I have to admit that I haven't had a huge appetite and many times food just doesn't appear to be too appealing to me. Plus, I'm nursing and I work out 3x a week so I'm burning quite a bit on the side too.

I'm working on getting in healthy foods (I don't have a huge amount of options since we're living with the in-laws until the end of Feb. when DH's new job will start) when possible. The grocery stores around here are pretty horrid so even when I do go shopping myself the choices are very, very limited.

Lately I've been getting comments about how I look "skinny" (mind you, I was 194lbs last time I checked) and DH's grandma is practically having panic attacks with how little I eat. We always eat lunch at his grandma's and it just kills her that I'm not eating mountains and mountains of food because she very much prescribes to the idea that you need to "eat for 2". She also is very, very distrustful of doctor's so even if I say that my doctor is OK with it, it doesn't satisfy here. She's already called my MIL and was bothering her about what I eat at least once (thankfully my MIL doesn't bother me too much but she IS concerned since I'm doing water aerobics and also mentioned today that I looked skinny).

Here exercising during pregnancy is a completely foreign concept and they're incredibly afraid that something is going to happen to the baby. It's really frustrating for me since last time around I gained 65lbs and I really don't want to repeat that! My prepregnancy weight was still a little over 25lbs over my prepregnancy weight last time around because I was never able to get rid of all of that! Now I'm just 19lbs over it but still I know some of that was from making poor food choices and not exercising enough.

I also really want a natural birth with no interventions and I know for that I NEED to be exercising often. DH is supportive of my eating but still is pretty nervous about me working out (mostly because of his family's influence). Also DH's grandma keeps on trying need foods to get me to eat more like a million different types of desserts and she always has a huge amount of potato chips. She also seems insulted that I won't drink coffee or pop (she still likes me a lot but it's more like I just have no clue what I'm doing).

Sigh.. I just needed to vent a bit. Thanks for listening. ;)

01-25-2011, 10:51 AM
It's not uncommon for women to lose weight in the first trimester due to morning sickness. And "eating for two" is a ridiculous concept - yes, the food you choose nourishes your growing child directly, but that merely means a few extra calories and good wholesome foods, not doubling your calories.

I do find it funny they're worried about your health and being too skinny but are trying to feed you foods that are unhealthy for you and the baby. What good are fat ladden chips and desserts and caffeine filled coffee and soda? How does that aid the baby or you to grow in a healthy manner? Heh. Just makes me shake my head.

In regards to the water aerobics, I think it's great. First of all, it's super low impact so it's something you can continue to do as your baby grows. Being in the water, especially during the last trimester, will give your back and hips a much needed break. I spent most of last summer in the pool during my 3rd trimester.

I have no suggestions on dealing with the constant barrage of comments but just know you're doing the right thing for your and your baby. Try to keep your head up and don't get too frustrated! :)

01-25-2011, 11:31 AM
I only gained 15lbs in the first 7 months that I was pregnant. 25lbs in total. If you're overweight it isn't uncommon. And there are actually charts to tell you how much weight you should gain. Also, I agree with XLMuffintop you aren't supposed to eat double. I believe it only a couple hundred extra calories. Eating for two is how women end up with 60 extra pounds to lose after pregnancy. Although on the in-law front I don't have much advice. Just know that you aren't doing anything wrong.

01-25-2011, 11:37 AM
Sorry you are having issues with your MIL. First of all the concept of eating for two is far off. We don't live in the stone ages. From what it looks like you are doing a fantastic job and your doctor does know best. I worked out up untill the day before my C-Section and my baby came out just fine, very healthy. I also never gained weight till the fourth month with both of my kids. And in total only gained 25lbs with both. Your body is an amazing machine it really is so if you feel good and feel satisfied with what you are eating then let it be.

01-25-2011, 11:55 AM
My SIL is pretty heavy set, and she is pregnant. Between trying to eat healthier and not having much of an appetite, she lost 20 lbs in her first trimester.

The doctors didn't like it, but told her that it really isn't that uncommon, for bigger people. She told her for one thing your body is trying to get healthier in preparation of the baby.

I'm glad you're rocking your pregnancy and doing what is healthy :carrot:

01-25-2011, 12:24 PM
I learned a phrase in therapy during my teenage years that has become invaluable in my life: "Thank you for your opinion, I'll take that into consideration." Said with a smile it is a remarkably effective way of politely telling someone to mind their own business. :) I was shaking my head right along with Muffin reading that she offers you highly processed, refined carbohydrates and fat and caffeine because she's worried about the baby... really?! Mainlining pure glucose is going to make the baby healthier? Oh well. Just keep doing what you're doing. If the Dr isn't worried then you (and anyone around you) certainly shouldn't be.

01-25-2011, 12:31 PM
Hey hon, I worked out every day until my induction (which was unplanned of course as I would rather have slept!!!).

My labour was almost 4 days long and I pushed for hours, my son was injured from his shoulder dystocia but you know what... the doctors have since said that if it wasn`t for me being healthy & very active throughout my pregnancy, there`s a very real chance he could have died, as few women would have the endurance to push like that. It was too late for a c-section.

So please, no matter what anyone says, do it for you and for your baby. Exercise is SO important, not just to help with a regular natural birth, but especially if things become complicated out of your control. Honestly it saved my baby`s life.

Good luck and keep moving!!!!

01-25-2011, 12:39 PM
Thank you guys so much for listening! It really helped just to complain a bit. :D

It's actually DH's grandma, not MIL that's the one who is really obsessed about it. MIL just is worried about the water aerobics. They mean well, they really do, but it's just so frustrating when I'm trying to do everything correctly this time around (because I definitely didn't do it last time around!) and then I don't get support for that. I don't think they are going to change they opinion or anything I just wish it was kept more to themselves than have it be a constant topic of conversation. ;)

FWIW, I even talked to my step-mom about it who was a registered nurse and worked for CDC for years and she said I was doing great and not to stress about the weight loss. She lost weight too at the beginning and said it was probably better for me in the long run not to have a bunch of extra weight that I need to loose aftewards.

Oh, and water aerobics was so much fun! It's pretty easy but I love exercising in the water because then I don't get to warm AND I don't feel my belly at all. Although the second I step out of the pool it's a pretty overwhelming feeling to feel my belly all of a sudden!

Oh, and yes, you guys are all right on with the confusion on why I should be eating fatty highly processed foods to feed this baby? :?: :dizzy: Today DH's grandma offered pineapple for dessert instead of ice cream or cake or something so I tried to make a big deal out of how good it was so then she'd offer it more often and she'd also get to see me eat more. Sort of a win-win for everyone. :p

01-25-2011, 12:45 PM
sacha- stories like that are exactly why I'm trying to stay fit! With DD I just know I didn't do enough and I think that's really why my labor lasted a long time (although not quite 4 days ;) ). I just feel if I would've been more active it would've gone more smoothly and I might have been able to avoid an induction. I'm so glad to heat that despite everything your son turned out healthy (despite the shoulder).

01-25-2011, 01:08 PM
Thanks :) My labour was quite exceptional of course LOL but a good illustration as to why exercise is important. The endurance needed for contractions (especially a natural labour) is so much! Good luck to you and I wish you an excellent labour!!! :)

01-25-2011, 01:38 PM
FWIW I only gained 13 pounds total with my 2nd dd. The doctor looked over my food log (that I kept upon his request since I was losing at first, didn't begin to gain until 3rd tri) and told me no worries. Metabolism speeds up in pg women, and if you're obese or overweight to start with your body has plenty of stores built up with no need for more.

Again no advice for dealing with the inlaws, but you sound like you're doing great, exercising safely and eating healthfully. Good luck!

02-09-2011, 02:03 PM
I'm a little embarrassed to ask this- but is it really true that exercise makes for a shorter labor? I'm just realizing this now after the birth of my 3rd- which was my longest labor and probably my least amount of exercise :) Whoops!

02-09-2011, 02:23 PM
I'm a little embarrassed to ask this- but is it really true that exercise makes for a shorter labor? I'm just realizing this now after the birth of my 3rd- which was my longest labor and probably my least amount of exercise :) Whoops!

Apparently it can :) It can make you stronger and have more endurance. Me, I walked, jogged, ran, & lifted weights until the day I was induced and my labour was 4 days :( :cool: But I was an exception. Exercise is definitely a benefit.

02-09-2011, 02:54 PM
They say that giving birth is harder on your body than a marathon. The better shape you're in, the easier that "marathon" will be... hypothetically speaking. :)

02-10-2011, 09:21 AM
I'm a little embarrassed to ask this- but is it really true that exercise makes for a shorter labor? I'm just realizing this now after the birth of my 3rd- which was my longest labor and probably my least amount of exercise :) Whoops!

Definitely! Actually with my last birth even though I gained waaaayyy too much way I still walked A LOT and my OB/Gyn said that that really made a difference when I had to push out DD (she has a MASSIVE head and I was induced so so pushing took 1.5 hours and they kept threatening a c-section on me).

If you're interested just google natural birth and exercise. Some things that are highly, highly recommended are kegel exercises and squats. I also did prenatal yoga last time (will do it this time too once I'm farther along) and I can't recommend that enough. It helped my body feel so much better afterwards and I do think it helped with labor in the end.

One thing that worked for me towards the end to get labor started was walking, walking and more walking! I really wanted to avoid being induced (unfortunately, I was in the end because my water broke and I wasn't progressing and there was meconium in the water) so I walked like crazy (maybe 3 miles+ a day? towards the end).

02-10-2011, 09:27 AM
Oh, and as for the original topic... DH is starting to get nervous about my weight loss too. I'm now down somewhere between 10-11 pounds and my digestive system is horrible. Food is not agreeing with me at all!

I really am eating until I'm full and I try to make the best choices with the food available (unfortunately their's pretty slim pickings for the veggies here but I can get a lot of good fruit). I had hoped my weight loss had stopped after last week (I went almost 2 weeks without losing) but it looks like I dropped another 1 or 2 this week. I think I need to send off another email to me midwife just to ask and see...

02-10-2011, 12:44 PM
I worry a lot about this. I've lost weight and have maintained for a couple of years now, and people are on me all the TIME about what I eat. They think I don't eat enough - believe me, I do. My husband and I are about to try to conceive, and I just know when we do I'm in for 9 months of "Why aren't you eating more?!" "You're eating for TWO you know" and on and on...

04-20-2011, 07:14 PM
I say just keep doing what you're doing and don't worry about what others say. I was worried during my first pregnancy that I wasn't gaining any weight, but people kept telling me, the weight will come. And it sure did! I ended up gaining 30 lbs, but only 8 of those in the 1st/2nd trimesters!

Especially please keep up the exercise - it's so good for you!

05-07-2011, 08:29 PM
Exercise does matter!
With my son I was on bedrest for 6 months. At first I lost 27 lbs from severe morning sickness, and then gained 60 lbs. I was induced at 41w 1d and pushed for 4 hours and 45 mins after 26 hours of labor. His heart rate dropped and they did an emergency C-section. It was awful :(

05-08-2011, 07:33 PM
Well, I didn't exercise that much because of my sciatica during last pregnancy besides cleaning and some light walks around the neighborhood and I had a 4 hour labor with 35 minutes of pushing and it was my First baby :o I'm pregnant again and the mw said that 2nd labors are usually much quicker and sometimes cut in half :eek: That being said, I had a home birth and stood the entire time either in the shower or leaning against a wall just because it was unbearable to be sitting or laying down. I think this might have been caused by back labor but not really sure. I just had to agree with Deltawifey that sometimes epidurals and laying flat on your back can cause labor to slow waaay down.

To the OP, I lost 5 lbs during the 1st tri due to food aversions and it looks like the same thing is happening with this pregnancy. I didn't start gaining until 20 weeks. I did end up gaining 35 lbs but I think I emotional ate a lot during those last few months. I don't mind gaining the weight as long as I know it's from healthy sources and not ice cream! So as long as you are eating healthy for your baby (when you feel like eating of course) you are doing great and you don't need to worry about Dh's grandma. I'm sorry you have to deal with all the comments. It would bother me too.