100 lb. Club - Reevaluating My Plan and Goals




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alyssarof2012
01-22-2011, 03:46 PM
I am currently in the process of reevaluating my plan and goals because my weight is stuck. It is stuck in the high 270s. I know that my weight is at a standstill because of the fact that I haven't exercised in about a week and a half. I haven't exercised in a week and a half because my mom rarely leaves the computer, which is in the living room, which is where I sleep. I am not comfortable exercising in front of people, and she won't leave the room when I ask (not even for 30 minutes)... Not to mention, I haven't been eating the best either..

SO.. Basically I need to find a way to squeeze in some exercise (I think the only way to get this done would be to get up extra early) and plan my meals ahead of time (including snacks) so I don't have to go searching and run into something I shouldn't eat.

I think I'm going to just reply to this thread as often as I can, and keep it updated... Yeah, I think I will. It'd be very similar to a blog. I say as often as I can, because I can't come on here everyday... 'cause my mom is a computer hog... So sometimes it'll be consecutive days in a row, and then sometimes it'll be 2 or 3 days in between.. I don't know.. I'll figure it out, haha...

I'm not very good at updating, but I'll try (I tend to forget and not come back for months..). The whole accountability thing really does keep me on track though, when I actually update that is.

So For Today:

-No exercise (maybe, hopefully, my mom will leave or go in her room some time soon, so I can exercise)

I've had:
-two handfuls of chocolate waffle cereal (the "good 4 kids" brand by food lion)
-A can of mixed fruit
-8 spicy nuggets from Wendy's with 2 packs of sweet and sour sauce
-4 cups of water
-1 pop tart

I know I haven't eaten too well today, but I guess the first step is being honest with myself. I hope my dinner goes well..


Until later or next time - Alyssa R.


vdander24
01-22-2011, 11:32 PM
Alyssa - Hang in there, girl! It sounds like you are living in a tough situation. I know that it is cold, but is there any way you can take a walk outside? That may help. It would also be tough for me to do a video, if someone else were watching, so I totally understand. Plan your snacks! But also, kick your mom off the computer. She needs to respect your sleep time. I know you are living with her, but there still needs to be some respect.
Keep posting! It is a great way for accountability.

PS/ I LOVE your goals!

alyssarof2012
01-23-2011, 03:45 PM
Thanks! I could take a walk outside, but my area is unsafe and I'd have to take my son with me, so I don't want to go through all of that. She would scoff at the thought of me asking her to do that.. She doesn't "do" respect.

I definitely will keep posting. Thanks for the reply!


alyssarof2012
01-23-2011, 04:04 PM
I guess I should call this day 2... Today I've eaten a handful of the same cereal as yesterday, a can of great northern beans, and some au gratin potatoes. I've drank 6 cups of water. Didn't count calories, but I know it's 1000 or less. There is still time left in the day, but I'll probably just drink some more water and maybe eat a can of mixed veggies. Not much else to choose from.

No exercise again today, my mom won't leave... It's like she doesn't care about my health, since she's not caring for hers. She's morbidly obese and on weight watchers, however, she doesn't even follow it... (wasting the little money we DON'T have..)
So because she's failing, it seems like she wants to see me fail.

Even though I can't exercise, I'm taking these types of days to practice weight maintenance. I've been quite successful so far. I've lost 2 lbs just trying to maintain, without any effort. I guess that's good...


Don't know what else to say... Going through a lot of sh**ty problems.... I feel like I can't vent here because I hate when people give me advice, or act sympathetic, or try to give me the " itcould be worse" speech... Yeah... well.. you don't know my life... So... I won't vent..

-Until next time..., Alyssa.

alyssarof2012
01-23-2011, 07:37 PM
My Goal List:

-Be a Size 6
-Get to at Least 120 lbs
-Be Able to Wear Shorts
-Be Healthy
-Have a Healthy BMI


There are more, but I forget on short notice... Ah well...

seagirl
01-23-2011, 07:51 PM
Can you move the computer into your mother's room?

rachael
01-23-2011, 08:06 PM
If excercise is such a problem right now, you should just concentrate on food. You can lose without exercising, though it's not ideal. People do it all the time. But can you go to the mall or something and walk at least to exercise?

alyssarof2012
01-24-2011, 04:32 PM
Can you move the computer into your mother's room?

She's a pack rat, so there isn't any space in there, nor would she allow me to do so... I just have to make do and get up early. Super early... Like 5am early...

alyssarof2012
01-24-2011, 04:39 PM
If excercise is such a problem right now, you should just concentrate on food. You can lose without exercising, though it's not ideal. People do it all the time. But can you go to the mall or something and walk at least to exercise?

Can't go to the mall cause she has no gas in her car (that's what she tells me every time I ask to go somewhere). Yeah, that's what I was thinking, but as you said, it isn't ideal to lose weight without exercise. I wouldn't want excess skin (I probably will have a little, but I still don't want any extra). I went down a lb from yesterday, so without trying too much I'm losing weight again.. Which is great. Thank you for the suggestion though. =]

synger
01-24-2011, 04:55 PM
The vast majority of pounds are lost in the kitchen, not the gym. I lost a good fifty pounds without any extra exercise at all, and some folks find that when they begin an exercise program their appetite increases to make up whatever difference they might have had.

The quote I like about this is, "Eat less to fit into smaller clothes. Exercise to look good nekkid."

Basically, you lose the majority of weight through food choices. Fitness comes through exercise. They're two different tools, for different reasons. I exercise because I want to be stronger, have more stamina, and be more flexible. I "diet" because I want to lose weight.

You CAN do this, even with your mother there. And your success will SHOW her, even if she pretends not to listen to your words.

alyssarof2012
01-24-2011, 04:57 PM
So today, day 3... It was considerably better than yesterday. I had a Benchmark Exam in US & VA History.. Piece of cake. At most I got 3 wrong. After that I had a test in Algebra ll. I'd be surprised if I got anything wrong on that test. Then again, I'm known for making dumb mistakes because I rush. I ate okay today. For lunch I had a slice of pizza (non-greasy, 'cause my school doesn't make the grease laden kind thankfully), a cup of strawberries, and some apple juice. My body doesn't like pizza anymore though (my taste buds love it however) and I had a massive diarrhea attack as soon as I soon as I stepped in my front door (don't worry, I didn't miss the potty). I didn't eat breakfast (didn't have time to cook, have no milk or cereal, and, once again, missed the bus). But I did take my multivitamin with some water. Which reminds me, I need to go ahead and drink some more water.
My finger was itching like crazy today, and my teacher noticed me spazzing and scratching at it, so he asked to look at my finger, and sent me to the nurse. I may have something contagious on my hand, (resembles ringworm to me), so I may not be able to go back to school until my doctor clears it and says it isn't contagious or gives me some meds and it goes away. Great.. Just great. Considering this is exam week.

In other news... Is it just me, or are more people (guys, and yes, a few gay chicks) at my school checking me out? Some guy in my spanish class is always picking with me, and today he blew a kiss at me and made a heart with his hands. I didn't blow a kiss back, or pretend to catch his, but I did make a heart at him. I must admit, I am already fairly popular.. Well, not popular, but well liked and well known. But lately it seems like a lot of people like me. Another guy in my choir class tried to kiss me....
I don't know if this is due to my weight loss, or my growing confidence because of the weight loss, but I'm pretty sure it's linked.

Today my weight is 277. 1 lbs less than yesterday. Awesome! That means I'm losing weight again. =] Things are looking up again as far as my weight loss is concerned, and my mom is at school right now, so that means..... EXERCISE! I have been waiting for this day forever, lol.

Well, off to exercise before my sister comes home (she skipped school again today.... bad girl.....haven't seen her since yesterday evening, but I know she's not dead or anything, 'cause she's been on Facebook today. Ahaa)

Don't know what I'm eating for dinner... May update later.

Thanks for the replies everyone, I appreciate them!

alyssarof2012
01-24-2011, 05:02 PM
The vast majority of pounds are lost in the kitchen, not the gym. I lost a good fifty pounds without any extra exercise at all, and some folks find that when they begin an exercise program their appetite increases to make up whatever difference they might have had.

The quote I like about this is, "Eat less to fit into smaller clothes. Exercise to look good nekkid."

Basically, you lose the majority of weight through food choices. Fitness comes through exercise. They're two different tools, for different reasons. I exercise because I want to be stronger, have more stamina, and be more flexible. I "diet" because I want to lose weight.

You CAN do this, even with your mother there. And your success will SHOW her, even if she pretends not to listen to your words.

Ahaa, nice quote! I like that.
Yeah, I've always went by that weight loss is 80% nutrition, 20% exercise. But I just want to lose weight and tone it at the same time, rather than risk having extra saggy skin. I do know that eating healthy and all that promotes weight loss more than exercise.
Thank you for the words of encouragement and wisdom!

alyssarof2012
01-27-2011, 09:08 PM
Kinda in a funk. Not that anything is wrong, I just don't know what to say to sum up the last couple days that I wasn't able to get on here. I am currently 275 - 276ish (depending which time of day I weigh in). I have so much to say, but at the same time, I don't know what to say...

So I guess my mind will start fresh tomorrow.




My son just sneezed twice in a row on my arm and I freaked out and yelled at him..... :/ .... Major germophobe (sp?). The first sneeze, I was trying to ignore it, but the second one sprayed all over my arm and I impulsively snapped... Ah.. I've got issues... I pretty much poured a small bottle of sanitizer on my arm...

Anyways.. That's all I can think of.. Nothing weight related really going on.. Didn't exercise today.

theox
01-27-2011, 11:04 PM
Hang in there.

As for organizing your thoughts, do you ever just write down what comes into your head, even if it doesn't make sense or you know it's not exactly true? I find that once I have something on paper, even if it's not exactly correct, writing about it can help me pinpoint what's really going on.

alyssarof2012
01-31-2011, 06:37 PM
Hang in there.

As for organizing your thoughts, do you ever just write down what comes into your head, even if it doesn't make sense or you know it's not exactly true? I find that once I have something on paper, even if it's not exactly correct, writing about it can help me pinpoint what's really going on.

Ooh, I've never tried that. I just might. I keep a journal, but it's more like a summary of my day, not just random thoughts. That might work better.
Thanks for the suggestion and the encouragement!

alyssarof2012
01-31-2011, 06:48 PM
So, today was actually pretty great.
I woke up and exercised for 1 hour and 10 minutes (because my mom was at school).
My weigh in came to 274. Hoping to be 269/270 by next week. I don't think that's asking too much. I just have to stay dedicated. I have to stay home tomorrow anyways since I haven't been to the doctors yet for my possible contagious rash on my fingers, so I'll be able to exercise again. =]
I realized... I love exercise. When I can't exercise, I miss it. <3 My son just randomly came up beside me today and started exercising with me. It was only for a minute or so (he has a small attention span; he's 3), but it made me feel like I'm influencing him to be healthy. He eats what I eat, so he isn't eating much unhealthy stuff anyways.

Anyways, just updating. Haven't done that in a while.
I will update again tomorrow.

alyssarof2012
02-12-2011, 06:30 PM
Wow... Haven't updated in a while. My internet just got turned back on a day or so ago. (Had got turned off the morning right after my last post... :[ )

Sooooo.. Update news : Reached 269 lbs on the 6th. I can't actually believe I'm out of the 270s. I'm sure it'll kick in once I get to the low 260s. I've exercised all but 2 days this week. Tuesday and Yesterday (Friday). But I am most definitely planning to exercise today and tomorrow. I have changed my workout dvd from Leslie Sansone's 2 Mile Brisk Walk DVD to her 3 Mile Bootcamp DVD. Then, however, my neighbors (who live below me) were complaining to the landlord about my jumping on their ceiling (I was really jogging, but w/e). So I have changed my DVD from the bootcamp dvd, to a dance workout dvd by Madonna Grimes. I think it's like, African,.... or something like that. I don't know. It kicks my butt though. It does a lot of twirls, and I almost hurt my ankle a couple of times. I'm so uncoordinated.

I have been eating terribly, so I don't know how I reached the 260s. I have been slacking on water, but today so far I have had 6 cups. Planning to drink 6 more.

I have been updating my weight loss and stuff on Sparkteens.com recently.


Ummmm... That's it... I will update my measurements next time I get on here (most likely tomorrow).

Will probably do an official weigh in tomorrow as well. Hope everyone is doing great on your weight loss!


Until next time.....
-Alyssa

alyssarof2012
02-13-2011, 08:12 PM
Alternatives to self harm.... Anyone know any?....... It's a better reaction to stress than eating, but is still bodily harming.... Help me out...



No exercise today.. Ate OK.

Nothin' else to say.. Not in the typing mood.

theox
02-13-2011, 10:32 PM
Exercising (if you can) even when you don't feel like it.

Meditation (seriously).

Hang in there. :hug:

alyssarof2012
02-15-2011, 05:42 PM
Exercising (if you can) even when you don't feel like it.

Meditation (seriously).

Hang in there. :hug:

Thanks.
I'll try anything at this point... It can only help.

alyssarof2012
02-15-2011, 05:58 PM
Does anyone know the home school guidelines in Virginia or how I can find them?

I am 17, and turn 18 two months after schools starting month here (September). I am going to be a senior in high school this year.

I am looking into homeschooling my son for about a school year or two. He is supposed to start school this fall, but I do not like the zone school in my area. It's like, super ghetto (we lived in a lower income area because my mom got laid off about 2 years ago and still hasn't landed a job), and all the kids like to do is fight and argue (Even at young ages... I know this because I have a little brother who is in the first grade.). I'm not even talking about tiny fighting (such as pushing or light hitting), I'm talking about more than one kid jumping other little kids, kids picking up sticks, bottles, and rocks at bus stops to beat up kids with. The school doesn't care and the bus driver doesn't say a word. I don't want that environment for my son. He shouldn't have to grow up in all that drama and stress. I don't want him to develop into one of these lowlifes that I go to school with who sit in the bathrooms during class time and get high.

What are the rates for private schools typically? If he can't be home schooled, I can get a job and use it for his private schooling (You're allowed to leave school to go to work as a 12th grader in my state. It's almost like a class, since you get a credit for it.)

I'm just looking for some alternatives before I go into suicidal depression mode. I killed myself once through overdose... but someone dumb called the ambulance and I was (I don't know the real word for it) revived. Then I was in a coma and then after I came out of being comatose I was sent to a psychiatric facility. If I go back, they will undoubtedly take my son away from me...

As for how I have a son..... Rape... And we'll leave it at that...

But please guys... Can you help me out? I would like to know the fair price range for private school and the guidelines for homeschool in virginia or how to find them.

Thanks...

theox
02-15-2011, 06:22 PM
Hi again!

I thought of a book that might help you with how you're feeling, it's Feeling Good by David D. Burns, MD. Not a cure-all, but it might really help you. It's helped me (for whatever that's worth). The newest paperback edition relatively cheap, and your local public library might have it or be be able to get a copy through Inter-Library Loan, if you request it.

I did a Google search for "homeschooling in Virginia", and some promising links turned up. The first one was http://www.vahomeschoolers.org/ (http://www.vahomeschoolers.org), which looks like it might be a good place to start.

Private school tuition varies hugely, from probably about $2000/year to so much you'd think you were paying for your son to go to college. If the private schools in your area have websites, check them out to see if tuition and fee schedules are listed. Even if you can't find a private school in your price range, it may be worth calling the school up, explaining your situation, and seeing if they're willing to work with you regarding reduced tuition or a payment plan that works for you. Religious schools in particular may be willing to work with you, although there's no guarantee of that.

rachael
02-15-2011, 07:20 PM
Have you talked to an adult in your life about everything that is going on? It sounds like your home life is really tumultuous and if you have the added responsibility of a young child, you should probably talk to a counselor.

Why does your son have to start school this year if he is only 3? Also, you probably qualify for scholarships and financial aid for private schools.

shcirerf
02-16-2011, 12:12 AM
I was also wondering why your son would need to start school in the fall if he's only 3?

It does sound like your home life is pretty tough right now.

The following is coming from someone who has kids older than you!

I would recommend, you stay in school, get your diploma, find a college with family housing and go to college. You would qualify for all kinds of aid, and there are usually facilities for the children as well.

Without a college education, it's going to be tough for you to break the cycle.

It can be done! Hang in there.

alyssarof2012
02-18-2011, 08:08 PM
Hi again!

I thought of a book that might help you with how you're feeling, it's Feeling Good by David D. Burns, MD. Not a cure-all, but it might really help you. It's helped me (for whatever that's worth). The newest paperback edition relatively cheap, and your local public library might have it or be be able to get a copy through Inter-Library Loan, if you request it.

I did a Google search for "homeschooling in Virginia", and some promising links turned up. The first one was http://www.vahomeschoolers.org/ (http://www.vahomeschoolers.org), which looks like it might be a good place to start.

Private school tuition varies hugely, from probably about $2000/year to so much you'd think you were paying for your son to go to college. If the private schools in your area have websites, check them out to see if tuition and fee schedules are listed. Even if you can't find a private school in your price range, it may be worth calling the school up, explaining your situation, and seeing if they're willing to work with you regarding reduced tuition or a payment plan that works for you. Religious schools in particular may be willing to work with you, although there's no guarantee of that.

Thank you so much! I'm definitely going to look up that book on Amazon. And thanks for the homeschool link. I am checking it out right now. After I posted this, I googled private schools in my area, and the lowest I could find as about $10,000 per school year. Do I have to be 18 to sign him up for private school?
Thanks again! =]

alyssarof2012
02-18-2011, 08:17 PM
I was also wondering why your son would need to start school in the fall if he's only 3?

It does sound like your home life is pretty tough right now.

The following is coming from someone who has kids older than you!

I would recommend, you stay in school, get your diploma, find a college with family housing and go to college. You would qualify for all kinds of aid, and there are usually facilities for the children as well.

Without a college education, it's going to be tough for you to break the cycle.

By time the school year starts he'll be 4. I'd like him to start off with preschool, versus kindergarten.

I would never even contemplate dropping out of school. I don't appreciate you assuming that I might. I would not consider NOT going to college. Just because I'm a teenage mother doesn't mean that I slack in the education area of my life. This was about my son's education. Not mine. I already know what I should do as far as myself.
There is no cycle to be broken... So as far as that... I don't even know what you're talking about.

Thanks for your input.

alyssarof2012
02-18-2011, 08:23 PM
Have you talked to an adult in your life about everything that is going on? It sounds like your home life is really tumultuous and if you have the added responsibility of a young child, you should probably talk to a counselor.

Why does your son have to start school this year if he is only 3? Also, you probably qualify for scholarships and financial aid for private schools.

By time the school year starts, he will be 4. I'd like him to start at 4.

I used to have a counselor, but she quit because I never talked to her about my personal life. I don't feel that talking to someone who gets paid to sit and listen is necessary. If someone I'm talking to hasn't been through what I have, then I don't really care to share. The difference between telling someone on a forum and telling someone in my actual life is that the people on the forum can't suggest foster care, or call CPS, or make us get a case worker, or have people from social services questioning my family. They meddle a little excessively.

Thanks for your answer, I appreciate it!

DixC Chix
02-18-2011, 08:50 PM
For potential job opportunities while in high school, most government agencies have a student program. Here is a link for a lot of different places.

http://www.students.gov/STUGOVWebApp/Public?topicID=78&operation=topic

Not only does it pay now, it is good experience for future jobs, scholarships for college, a reliable job while going to school (no layoffs) and usually a job offer after finishing college.

Some government buildings have day-care on site or close by.
Most agencies offer free public transportation vouchers.

alyssarof2012
02-18-2011, 09:03 PM
For potential job opportunities while in high school, most government agencies have a student program. Here is a link for a lot of different places.

http://www.students.gov/STUGOVWebApp/Public?topicID=78&operation=topic

Not only does it pay now, it is good experience for future jobs, scholarships for college, a reliable job while going to school (no layoffs) and usually a job offer after finishing college.

Some government buildings have day-care on site or close by.
Most agencies offer free public transportation vouchers.

Thanks so much for this!! =]

theox
02-19-2011, 12:14 PM
After I posted this, I googled private schools in my area, and the lowest I could find as about $10,000 per school year. Do I have to be 18 to sign him up for private school?

$10,000 may be the going rate in your area. Surely some of those places offer financial aid to accepted applicants? If you haven't already, you might also consider going through the listings in your local phonebook (or its online equivalent) for both private schools and pre-schools to see if there are any that your previous search didn't pull up. If you haven't already looked into private pre-schools, it may be worthwhile - from what I understand they're often cheaper than schools that also serve students in higher grades, although they don't all operate 5 days a week.

I don't know whether you'd have to be 18 or not to sign the papers. I would guess that if you're the person who's legally responsible for him, you would be the person to sign the papers. That would be a good question to ask the schools if you go this route.

:)

alyssarof2012
02-20-2011, 08:18 AM
$10,000 may be the going rate in your area. Surely some of those places offer financial aid to accepted applicants? If you haven't already, you might also consider going through the listings in your local phonebook (or its online equivalent) for both private schools and pre-schools to see if there are any that your previous search didn't pull up. If you haven't already looked into private pre-schools, it may be worthwhile - from what I understand they're often cheaper than schools that also serve students in higher grades, although they don't all operate 5 days a week.

I don't know whether you'd have to be 18 or not to sign the papers. I would guess that if you're the person who's legally responsible for him, you would be the person to sign the papers. That would be a good question to ask the schools if you go this route.

:)

Oh okay, well guess thats what I'm doin' today. Looking up private preschools.

Thanks so mucchhhhh!! You've help a ton.

alyssarof2012
02-20-2011, 08:20 AM
Just an update: I got a puppppppyyy! I got her on 2/17/11. She's a mutt (down the generations mix of chihuahua, beagle, german shepherd, pit bull, and possibly rottweiler). She looks about 7 weeks old. I will post a pic soon. =]

alyssarof2012
04-12-2011, 11:55 PM
I guess that's what this would be called. Today, about 30 minutes ago as I was in the shower, I feel I had an epiphany.

Most people don't know that I talk to myself when I'm in the bathroom. Not just in my head, but out loud as well. Well first, I was thinking about how my mom likes to try to lend me her jeans (my mom is about 350 lbs).. Then I started thinking about how my aunt was picking up some clothes off the floor at my house and was like "Who's jeans are they, your mom's?" ...They were mine. I'm tired of being even remotely close to my mother in size. I guess it'd be okay if we were both close in size and we were skinny/thin/lean/whatever, but we're not. So it's really uncomfortable. I wanted to cry when my aunt said that, but I didn't. I pretended like it didn't matter.

Pretty much, my epiphany was this..I can't keep doing unhealthy things and thinking that weight loss will happen. I have to do this today, do this now. I have to do this for me, not to be able to gloat to my family that I'm thin and they aren't. Not to see my exes jaws drop to the floor at the massive change for the better. No.. Those things would be nice (believe me, I have a long list of similar motivators), but the only reason I should be trying to lose weight, is for me. To be healthy and to feel better about myself. Not because I want to change my look because of what some idiot blurted at me.

It may not seem like much of an epiphany but I finally realize, this is the day. The time is now. I have to do this. It won't be easy or quick, but it will happen if I make it happen and stop waiting for it to happen for me out of the blue. Normally I have conflicting thoughts in the back of my mind, doubting myself and making excuses. But not this time. This time, it was a crystal clear pure message.

I was in the middle of watching the show Ruby before I decided to pause it and take a shower, but they were talking about how overweight people trying to lose weight can convince themselves that they are doing everything right, when in reality they're still acting out those unhealthy habits. I find this incredibly relatable, because I do this myself.

The moment I got dressed after coming out of the shower, I grabbed my bottle of soda (which I replaced with water) and threw it out, along with a couple packs of candy. Luckily we don't really buy chips and other majorly fattening foods anymore. Today for dinner I had rice with tuna in it. Like, canned tuna. No mayo or relish or anything like that. Just straight up tuna with some straight up rice. I stopped eating when I was satiated and gave the rest to anyone willing to eat it in my household.


I'll say it again... Today is the day and the time is now. Only I can make this happen [with some actual effort might I add]. Off to go make an official weight loss binder (I saw a girl on youtube who suggested it) and finish watching Ruby. Then off to sleep.

Night. =]