Alternachicks - newandimprovedlesbialternachicksandfriends

11-26-2002, 09:43 AM
hi chickies,
I started a new thread for lesbialternachicks and friends as the last had grown to huge proportions...I think the reason that 3fc had to get a new server was because we're all so verbose! It was just the Alternachicquitas sending the forum over the edge....
talk to you later.
and yes, I had a wonderful time in Disney World..the weather was
mostly wonderful too...we had one morning and afternoon of tropical rains but, we bought Mickey rain ponchos and went out anyway...thankfully it dried up enough for the Spectromagic Light Parade to go on that night. I'm not a parade person but I loved the Disney parades...they were more like live exciting and regal and dramatic! All the lights and color and music.
The parks were not crowded at all....barely waited in line anywhere...just for Ariel's autograph!
There was so much to see we only saw a small fraction of the attractions...I would definitely go back again...and I was not a believer...I was sort of dreading going between the flying and my kid saying she was afraid to fly and imagining standing in line all day to get on dumb rides....
I was very pleasantly surprized.
and we stayed in the Polynesian which was really beautiful...the landscaping was so luscious! and the lagoon in the was gorgeous!
My girl did well with the flights though even with the "earplanes" ear plugs she cried on the way home as we were making our was a really rough flight...alot of turbulence and stormy weather and the pilot descended pretty my DD said her ears hurt and was crying...but, that was only five minutes or so of the whole trip. On the flight there I gave her Afrin nasal spray which a doctor recommended and the ear plugs...way home ear plugs, next time we'll do both...and of course we did the gum chewing, water drinking, etc.
well...gotta get her up she's still in bed and ignoring my calling her every few minutes about getting up for school....just like her Mommy Soozie...she loves to sleep in....
Love you girls,

11-26-2002, 09:56 AM
oh my gosh... wouldja put a freakin' period in once in a while, Soozie! :D
Hey, sounds like you gals had a riot... I'm so glad. And your pictures are gorgeous... thanks, hon.

11-26-2002, 03:30 PM
Hey Soozie
Can you spell, Supercalafragalisticexbaladoucious? Me either, but the new thread is almost as much a mouthful! LOL
So glad you had a wonderful time!

11-26-2002, 07:32 PM
I know, I know, I wasn't an English major.
Someone help me....I can't write without putting those
dots in's an me....
at least I'm not eating something right now!
replaced food addiction with dots...
and don't worry, going back in to change subject line!

11-26-2002, 08:04 PM
oh cheez... I didn't even NOTICE the subject line. :lol:

Listen girls, you will be astonished to hear that I have just eaten (voluntarily) an apple. A couple of times a year I have a craving for fruit, and I guess today was one of those days. :rolleyes:

11-26-2002, 10:25 PM
Mauvais....can you change the name of this thread to LesBiAlternachicks and Friends...I tried, but, the subject line changed and the title stayed the same!

11-26-2002, 10:33 PM
Thanks Ruthxxx...if I had sent that message thinking it was just going to Mauvais I would have been pretty embarrassed!!!!!
hope everyone is doing well...I'm trying not to go eat some junk right now. I ate pretty light today but then scarfed up a donut at work. I had walked past the pastries three times and resisted but, after the fourth time I gave into temptation. Something about tasting that fat and sugar makes me want MORE.

I know that if I resist the urge I'll feel so much better than if I give in and eat. I'll be so much happier and feel more in control and will be proud of myself and I'll check out my ever smaller gut and say...doesn't my belly look,DP, really come look...well, I know that you looked at it yesterday, and the day before, but, really just look, isn't it getting smaller, well, isn't it? Can't you tell I'm losing weight? Can't you? Don't I look like I'm smaller, no really, don't I, wait, come here, just look at this, look at my belly.......uh, okay, I'm not going to eat anything. Think I'll go drink a glass of V-8.
Love, Soozie

11-26-2002, 11:42 PM
I do that with DH too. "HEY!! I lost a half a pound, can you tell?" "Where do you think I lost it from?"

Never said I was easy to live with!!!

11-27-2002, 08:57 AM
Good morning gals!

Soozie--We all need to splurge once in a while. Great job on grabbing the V-8.

Me on the other hand was good up until I decided to hit the eggnog last night! Oh well, there is none left now so it wont' be in the house to tempt me.

Has anyone tried the soya milk? I know soy is good for us and I would like to incorporate it into my diet but was just wondering what you thought of the taste of it before I went a head and got some. I did see that they had soya eggnog. For 1 cup it had approx. 112 calores and 4 grams of fat. The light eggnog that was there had 226 grams of fat and .3 grams of fat. Which would be the better choice?

I have a meeting at work to go to today that I'm not looking forward to. You have to know my boss. He's ummm...he can't run a business right. It's so mickey mouse there it's pathetic. And he's pretty much married and he sleeps around with every woman that passes him by. They are firing a girl who isn't the brightest light on the block, but they are getting rid of her because she told them that she is going to file sexual harrassment charges on him because he grabbed her boobs! Of course he denies it and is laughing it off. So I'm wondering what the outcome of that is. Those two had their meeting yesterday so who knows what this meeting is going to be about.

We got a bit of snow this morning. Not much, just enough to cover the ground. But it sure is freezing out. I haven't got dressed yet this morning and I had to take the garbage out and the blue box but I couldn't be bothered with getting dressed, so I went out in my nightie and sweater! And it was freezing out!

Okay, I've babbled enough. Going to get some breakfast in me.

I'll talk to all of you chickies later!


11-27-2002, 10:23 AM
Its very cold and wintery looking here this morning too. Its nice Thanksgiving weather. We didn't get any snow, just rain. The tv news was so annoying last night with their, there is a very very slim possibility that we could get a dusting of SNOW. They just went on and on tracking the storm, ugh! It was so annoying I had to shut it right off. I'll know the weather when I get up and look out the window.

My DP loves soy milk. I don't like it. The taste is very specific to soy. Its hard to describe. You should try it once. DP drinks it and puts it on her cereal. To me it tastes like poison. There is a soy drink that isn't bad. Its called 8th generation or something weird like that. It is supposed to be for women and it comes in a curvy bottle with a plastic shrink wrap label...ummm...anybody, anybody? Anyone know what I'm talking about? Its good. Even I like it.

I love Edamame beans, which are soy beans still in the pod. We buy them frozen at Trader Joes though other places have them now. They're really yummy and easy to prepare; boil, peel, chomp!

And I do eat some of the soy protein bars. When I'm in a hurry and need something healthyish to eat and can't get a meal. They're not really low-low-cal. you can't be chompin on them all day but they are loaded with vitamins and minerals and all of that stuff and protien so they're better than grabbing some other quick snack foods and the Luna bars taste really good to me.

Well, I'm on another ramble. Have to go take a shower and go to the hairdresser and get my hair cut and my gray roots covered!!!! Then on to work and then...ahhhhh...four days off! Thanksgiving at DP's parents house on Thursday and our family Chanukah party here on Saturday. First time some of the family will see our remodeling! Excited about that.


11-27-2002, 10:36 AM
Sorry Soozie, I tried to change the subject line but can't seem to do it. So I guess you are stuck with a long subject line until you start a new thread. But hey, it is really not that bad, is it?

I have to get back to work so I will talk to you chicklets later!

Have a great day everyone! :D

11-27-2002, 03:32 PM
The subject line is fine. I was just teasing!
I also drink soya milk sometimes. I really like the flavor. You can purchase it in vanilla or chocolate too.
When does Chanukah begin? Is it this Saturday night? I was once a nanny for a Jewish family before I married. I loved it!! I learned so much and enjoy learning about other cultures and traditions. They were wonderful to me .

11-27-2002, 03:38 PM
A lady I used to work with always brought in these yummy Chanukah (sp?) cookies to the office. They were shaped like dreidels (sp?) and had blue and white icing on them. I clipped out a recipe for them that I got from a magazine and might try to make them. :)

11-27-2002, 04:59 PM
Hey all!

Happy Thanksgiving! Happy Chanukah too!

Seems like the jury has been out a long time on soy. I don't know what to believe anymore :^:

Anyway, something my winter issue of Bust magazine magazine for grrls.

I thought of you Mauvais when I saw an ad for - this site sells womens shoes and chocolate! :lol:

my personal favorite is: :)

oh and I bought a new T shirt through the magazine's "boobtique" - it has a cute saying across the front:

"What Would Joan Jett Do?"

Time to switch from my day job to my night job......pots and pans and turkey standing by - waiting for action lol

Have a great day all - Love, Terri

11-27-2002, 05:09 PM
Happy Chanukah and Happy Thanksgiving!!
Don't eat too much, darlings.

11-27-2002, 10:54 PM
DS #2 drinks soy milk because he hates the stuff from cows and I want him to get some calcium in. (Calcium added.) I'm allergic to soy, so don't drink the stuff. I DO, however, love edamame and eat it in spite of my allergy!!!

How fair is it? I LOVE tofu, and I'm not supposed to eat it!! Why couldn't I be allergic to potato chips? (HEY, I'd probably eat them anyway!)

11-28-2002, 03:56 AM
Mauvais, Thanks for trying! we'll have to live with it! :lol:

And Mauvais, you spelled dreidel and Chanukah go girl!!!
I am embarrassed to say that I have to check the calendar to be sure which night is the first night of Chanukah...I'm almost positive that it starts on Friday night after Thanksgiving. The problem is you always have to check because the first day of Chanukah is the day after the first night of Chanukah, because Jewish holidays start at sundown.

So, sometimes if an American calendar says "first day of Chanukah" it could either be the first night of Chanukah or the first day which means, if it is the first day, you should have lit the first candles the night before! So, I'll confirm and let you know...have to anyway because we do light the menorah each night and say the blessing.

DD loves it and DP actually can sing the two blessings with us in Hebrew. Well, she has been with me for 15 years so, she picked them up eventually, and I have a piece of paper...its almost ten years old and we use it every year...with the prayers written out in transliteration...which means the Hebrew words sounded out in English so DP can read them.

It is fun and a neat ritual.
To everyone celebrating something!
Happy, Happy, and Enjoy and make decisions you can feel good about
concerning food! As I always say...hope it doesn't get on anyone's nerves...
eat as though your life depended on it!
Love, Soozie

11-28-2002, 08:34 PM
Soozie-How do you combine traditions from your background and your DP's?
Some of the other families I know with multiple traditions combine them, and some choose one or the other. I am always curious about how people resolve that.....

11-28-2002, 11:21 PM
We decided to raise DD as Jewish. But, since DP is Catholic we respect her religion and celebrate her holidays with her as she celebrates our holidays with us. We do all of the Jewish holidays with my family and spend Christmas and Easter at DP's parent's house.

We wanted our DD to have a clear identity and Judism...especially reformed and reconstructionist Judism can be very progressive and inclusive. It just seemed at better option for our DD. My Jewish culture is very important to me though I'm not very "religious" in a traditional sense. I love alot of the rituals. I also feel very connected to my DP's Italian heritage and we include that in our lives as well. Our DD knows alot about her family's history and ALOT about all of the foods we Jews and Italians eat!!!! It seems both of our cultures are wrapped up in in Essen mine Kinder!!! and Mangia! Mangia!!!

Love Soozie

11-28-2002, 11:35 PM
When it comes to eating and food I respect ALL cultures!!!!

11-29-2002, 07:58 AM
You are so together girl, and such a wonderful mother to your DD. SHe is a very lucky little girl to have two parents who love her so much and to share your cultures and backgrounds of both sides is fantastic.

11-29-2002, 10:31 AM
I think Soozie's family's approach is to be commended. I've never understood why all family cultures and faiths can't be blended and is so much richer that way.

My DD's birth mother is Korean. Although there has been no contact since DD was an infant, we've always encouraged her to learn and appreciate that part of her heritage. It gets pretty interesting at mealtime sometimes. She insists on eating with chopsticks most of time, regardless of what we're having. It's fun to watch her eat Campbell's chicken noodle soup that way!



11-29-2002, 11:32 AM
Thanks girls...we have our bad days too...its not all rosy! Just mostly! :lol:
Terri, that is too cute. It is so nice that you have supported your daughter's exploration of her birth culture! That is so important.

Our favorite restaurant is a Chinese, Japanese,Thai blend. The owners are from Taiwan. The food is excellent and healthy. It is DD's favorite and she always asks to go there. DP bought DD nice chopsticks for Christmas last year. DD loves to use them just like your little chickquita! She uses them whenever we have rice or any kind of Asian type foods.

We have to put a rubber band around the top. She doesn't have the dexterity down yet. But, I always get a kick out of watching her eat vegetable sushi with her chop sticks. She picks a piece up and plops it right in her mouth and I'm thinking...Wow...she's eating seaweed and rice and veggies...whose child is that age for me it was Captain Crunch or nothing!

11-29-2002, 04:21 PM
HEY! Where is Wildfire? She popped in for a quickie, I mercilessly teased her, and she hasn't come back! Wildfire? I was teasing! I love you!!! Come back!!

11-29-2002, 08:36 PM

Sounds like you have a perfect blend of religions and traditions...your daughter is a lucky little girl...she's an alternachick ALREADY!! how cool for her!

I hope everyone had a grand holiday...


Here comes Christmas!

it'll be here before you know it!

11-29-2002, 09:48 PM
Happy Chanukah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11-29-2002, 10:22 PM
Thanks girls, and Kat, Wow fancy! Nice use of color doll!
11-30-2002, 07:06 PM
Hello Ladies, anyone remember me? It has been quite a while, so I hope that those that do remember me don't shun me! LOL!

The Good news is while I have been away for over a month, probably 2 months!, I haven't gained too much back! I haven't weighed in over a week, but at that time it was only 2-3 pounds...course that was before Thanksgiving!

I am going to try to read some of the old posts & catch up with those old timers that have been here for awhile!

11-30-2002, 10:09 PM
OH Christina!!! Welcome back! How ARE you, hon? We've been wondering about you. I hope all is well. Go read and come back and give us the scoop!

12-01-2002, 02:03 AM
Welcome back Christina! Hope you are doing okay. We were all kind of worried about you and wondering where you were.

12-01-2002, 07:50 AM
Hi Chris! I posted a message to you in "help, Hubby is trying to kill me". Just wanted to say welcome back and yes, we all were worried about you. And, it seems, with good reason. You sure are a survivor! With all that you've been through you haven't lost your sense of humor! Wow!

well girls, I'll talk to you all later...
Love, Soozie
12-01-2002, 08:41 AM
I posted all the chaotic details on the Nov 17 thread...

It has been crazy, but I am back. I need to get back on track & do some things for me. I knew you guys would be more than happy to kick my rear back up when it fell off the diet wagon!

I am going to look for the thread to post my wieght to embarass me back to the diet.

Thanks for all the good wishes girls!

12-01-2002, 02:10 PM
By the way, WHERE IS SQUEAKER!? Squeak? Are you okay, hon? We miss you! And MrsM? and Lois? And Sojo? and Terri 1?

Chris, kick in the butt for YOU, hon! :lol:

12-01-2002, 03:45 PM
CHRIs your back!! I was just asking everyone last week, where the heck you were at. You must have read my mind. We were all so worried about you. Welcome back Chick! Look forward to hearing from you more, and guess what I finally did it. I quite smoking 4 weeks ago today!!!
Big hug

12-01-2002, 03:51 PM
Yes, Chris ! I also put a msg for you on the other thread......:) glad to see you!

Yes, Ellis - you're right - some folks are MIA right now !

I wanted to comment on Soozie's DD -

that is so great that she likes all kinds of different food! I know what you mean - when I was little - all I wanted was McDonalds.
I think it's much better when a person starts early in life to develop an adventurous palate - when they grow up - they can go anywhere! :)

I take my DD to the Korean market and she specifically asks for things I can't even imagine trying - dried guppie snacks! I kid you not! ginseng soda, dried shrimp noodles, etc. the squirmier and more odd looking -the more she likes it



12-01-2002, 06:28 PM
Hey Ellis I am here. Just got back. I was in Ohio for 2 days. A lot has happened in the last few weeks, and I am a little down. I will post more later after I unpack and unwind.


And :wave: Hi to everyone else!!!

OK - the very short version is this time of year is the worst for me mood wise anyway, plus work is hectic, and the boy and I are no longer anything other then friends. :cry:

12-01-2002, 11:28 PM
WELCOME BACK CHRIS AND SQUEEK!!!!!! Sorry things have been so difficult for both of you, and I hope they improve.

Barefoot-My 12 year old is like that...Marinated baby squid at the Greek restaurant. Octopus, Vietnamese fish stew. The stranger it is, the more he wants to try it. Unfortunately he ALSO like to order the most expensive thing on the menu, so we are constantly giving him price limits when we go out!!!

Ellis-KICK MY BUTT TOO!!!! (tee hee)

12-02-2002, 12:00 AM
Oh Squeak, sweetie... I'm really sorry about you and the boy. :( I wish I could make you feel better. Sending hugs and prayers and love your way, little sis. :df:

Den, sending a kick your way. :lucky:

12-02-2002, 02:02 AM
:grouphug: :sorry:
Sorry to hear your news...sending you a lot of hugs.
I love your new avatar.
Hang in there chicky!
Love, Soozie

12-02-2002, 09:58 AM
den - maybe kids are more sophisticated these days?:lol: I guess they don't make 'em like they used to.......cartoons on TV 24x7, computers and the net, cable programs, exotic foods........hmmm?

Squeak - thinking of you and sending a hug


12-02-2002, 10:05 AM
Terrigrrrl... you didn't know that Den and her DH are utter snobs? THAT'S why their kids are like that! ;)

12-02-2002, 12:46 PM
Thanks for all of the happy thoughts Den, Ellis, Soozie & Terri.
Things are a little stressful, and we are just trying to figure stuff out. It is just strange right now. I spent the weekend there and we still currled up together to watch TV & to sleep. Still chased each other around to wrestle & tickle. Flirted but not much else. And I am not sure I can even do that any more. It hurt like ****, but very easy to slip back into that mode. Talked a little but I didn't get very far on what I had planned on talking about. All he did was look at my face, knew I was sad and he started crying. I didn't have the heart to tell him how I felt and make him feel worse. I chickened out and sent an email last night after I got home. Haven't heard back yet.

Ellis - wanna kick my butt too? I haven't even thought about dieting in the last few weeks.

12-02-2002, 01:23 PM
Come on, Squeaker... it's okay to be sad for awhile, but you need to look after yourself, too. Get your butt in gear, girl. You hate exercising, don't you... I think it's time for a whole new Squeak. One who exercises. It'll make you feel soooo good. Get a plan together, okay? And come and report back to me. :D

12-02-2002, 07:36 PM
I can not believe what your kids eat Den & Terri! They are very adventurous eaters. Very cool. :)

Soozie - I forgot to tell you, I love the name of the new thread. :D And I am also loving your story over in the How you met your partner thread. Such drama. :)

Thanks for the kick in the butt Ellis :drill:, but that whole exercise thing, no way. I don't understand you girls who feel GOOD after. I just feel sweaty and gross. And sometimes sore. And that does not feel good. :p As for feeling sad - I would feel sad if this whole thing wasn't going on. And besides it was just a fling, flings aren't suppose to hurt when they are done, this isn't suppose to hurt.

Right now my plan is to go to work every day - which is becoming increasingly difficult, not sit in the shower more then once a day, and when I do, not stay in there until I run out of hot water (one of my favorite depression activities is to sit in my tub with the shower going and cry), not to stress over my birthday - or more like do not over analyze where I am and what I have or more likely have not accomplished, and to not cut myself off from everyone like I normally do. oh and to finish the ice cream cake that is in my freezer

12-02-2002, 11:29 PM
Squeak-I don't think it WAS just a fling, which is WHY it hurts so much. You seem to be in a LOT of pain right now. I know it isn't all because of what is happening with the boy, but it almost doesn't matter what is causing it. You need to take care of yourself sweetie!! I think you need a big hug and to treat yourself well.:grouphug: Just wish I could give you a REAL one!!! How about taking a nice hot BUBBLE BATH? Do a few things for yourself that will help relax you or just help you feel more like the wonderful alternachick that you are!! We all love you sweetie.

Barefoot-YUP!! You just described the 12 year old!! (minus cable.) My 15 year old just wants to sit in his room, play guitar and listen to CDs however!!)

Ellis-I'd agree with you, except that we can't afford the lifestyle!!!:p
Microbrew tastes, water budget!!


12-03-2002, 01:51 AM
Hi back Den,
Squeeky girl...I'm glad that you like reading my sordid tale! So sorry that you are feeling sad...Den is right...a loving fling. I've been there and it does hurt. The boy is very special to you.

Do you know why he wants to be "just friends"? Not that you have to tell us everything. I was just wondering if there has been good communication. I hate when things like this don't work out. You are such a sweety and he seems to be too it just seems like it should work. Sorry if I'm making you feel worse honey!

Just give me his telephone number and I'll talk some sense into the boy.

If you go and fall in love with someone else the boy will pine after you for the rest of his fact, that is my prediction. you'll fall in love and be swept off of your'll get married and remain friends with the boy. Everytime he sees your fabulous love-filled passionate life he'll rue the day he let you slip away.

And of course you will live happily ever after.

Feel better soon and if you do soak in the tub, you can cry a little, but then put some decadent bubbles in there or some yummy bath oil and buy some exfoliating scrub and massage it into your feet and elbows and light some delicious candles and place them around the tub and play some beautiful music...and exfoliate. Exfoliating always makes me feel sexy and fresh and new...especially when I do it in candle light with my favorite reggae cd playing...recently I'm enjoying Shaggy's Lover Lover CD. Especially the song Oh Carolina... and if you hate to exercise just play that CD and dance around your house. (I did that today but don't tell anyone)

Love to you Squeaker!

12-03-2002, 08:40 AM
Oh dear, Squeak... I said the wrong thing (what else is new?). :(
Okay, no exercise for Squeak. Listen to Dentrassi and Soozie. Look after your inner self.
And even though you can't see us, you are surrounded by our love. You are very special to us, Squeak.
12-03-2002, 09:38 AM
Hello Ladies, Man I forgot how much you guys post & how I have to check in often to keep up! :)

Squeek Hang in there! Indulge yourself, feel sad, have one of those gut wrenching, sobbing cries, then shake it off & feel better! I know that it does not help now, but in the long run, if he can not give you his entire heart & love you like a passionate lover, you should give yourself the distance to find that! You deserve that. It will be hard to move on & look for that as long as he is there. Trust me been there! Nearly left my husband at the alter when my best friend came down to hug me & wish me well. I knew that he would never love me in a passionate way, but I did know that he would be safe & love me. After being married now I realize that we would have ended up very unhappy together. We are great as friends, but not enough there to build a life on...still had he mentioned it at all, I would have left that day, even though I did/do love my husband very much, it was just that Mike & I had been through everything together & he just had some special place in my heart. He still does! Even though we are both married with children, he still seems to know when to call & when I need him. It took us a while to get her, but it is a nice place to be! It will get better!

OK now for the exercise...LOL! I too hated it before! But I started slowly & now do feel better when I am done. I actually miss the little aches after a work out! Those were proof to me that I would be fit, skinny & healthy someday! I really do miss it when I skip a day. It is just half an hour out of my day, I can certainly afford that!

My kids are a bit on the freaky side when it comes to food too! LOL! My DS prefers Salad to anything else, they both hate pudding & think Yogurt is much better. DD thinks that Calamari & Muscles should be on our menu weekly! LOL. OK they don't slimy things, but not normal kid stuff either! They want me to make Spinach Quiche for Christmas dinner!

Well everyone just came into the office so I better pretend to work! LOL!

12-03-2002, 10:08 AM
I love your quote,"Happiness is a thing to be practiced, like the violin." Hope you are feeling much better and your life is taking on some form of normal living after all the chaos you have been through.
I wish I could just give you a big ol hug. It will get better, I know right now it does not seem like it, but it will. Take care of you!

12-03-2002, 10:31 AM
Just a quick note from work -
Thank you so much for all the hugs and thoughts!!!

I spent an hour and a half on the phone with him last night. We are still trying to work things out.

I will be back when I have more time to explain.

I hope you all have a wonderful day!


12-03-2002, 11:57 AM
Awww...squeak...I hope things work out for you, whatever is best for you! Please take care of yourself, Soozie gives good advice, doesn't she? make sure she doesn't send you a bill! :lol: just kidding, sooz!

It's good to see your chatty posts again, Christina! You've sure been through a lot...but you've come through it and I know you are a stronger person for that...hugs and prayers to you!

Geez, with Christmas fast upon us, I can't keep up here! Though not for lack of trying. There are so many threads going, I try to read them all and then don't know which one to respond to and then an hour has passed and I still have dishes/laundry/shopping (pick one) to do...and THEN I have guilt on top of that for not doing any...WHEW! ...not to mention renewing my weight loss efforts...I am determined to NOT pack on 10 holiday pounds this year. I have started again...(yet again) I KNOW I can do this!

So...happy holidays to all... don't stress out this holiday season. Do what you can, and forget the rest. Martha Stewart is busy trying to stay out of jail, so she will NOT be critiquing (sp?) our decorations, menus, holiday activities, etc. Relax and enjoy the season!


12-03-2002, 12:38 PM
Thanks for YOUR advice Kat're pretty good yourself...and about that bill...geez...I'd already mailed you think that is tacky?
Okay just disregard that bill Squeak!
sounds like you're hanging in there....which is good...and you know we all
care about you and are rooting for you out here in virtual friendland!
love Soozie who is now officially late for work...see my comments in the other thread about how that is your fault, no not Squeak's fault afterall she's going through enough...just the rest of you.

12-03-2002, 01:49 PM
Ellis-I think exercise was a good idea!! I just don't want Squeaky beating up on herself if she has been a bit off program (OR a lot off!) lately. You can only handle so much at a time as we both know!!! (HEY!! I am still in my nightgown, but I HAVE called and made appointments, and had a long talk with my Mom about 12 year old's school situation! I may be depressed, but I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna let that stop me from taking care of my kids!!)

12-03-2002, 05:54 PM
I know... I know.... Little Squeak has forgiven me. ;)

Hey Den... I think you're doing great! And you've got the BEST family! :yes:

12-03-2002, 09:01 PM
Squeak~ sorry to hear about you and the boy.

I agree with Soozie. Sometimes things aren't meant to be no matter how bad we want them.

You are a beautiful, intelligent and talented woman...remember that! You will meet someone when you least expect it and they will treat you like the goddess you are, have faith sweetie! :grouphug:

12-04-2002, 02:18 PM
I know that I needed to resubscribe to threads after we changed servers we have to resubscribe at certain intervals anyway?
We changed servers at least twice since I've been posting here and maybe that is why but it seems like periodically I stop getting notified of new postings and have to go in and subscribe to threads you know the answer or should I ask Suzanne 3fc? Thanks, Soozie
now on to the hunt for the BOOBiE discussions for Velvet.

12-04-2002, 11:15 PM
ok first of all - Thank you so much!! all of you. You girls are incredable and so supportive. You make me want to cry in the warm and fuzzy kind of way. And you should all probably send me a bill with all of the therapy/advice I have gotten. :lol:

But this is a quick post since I am exhausted. I haven't been home much in the last 2 days, which is good in some ways. Too busy to over think things. But I have thought some after talking to him Monday night. I told him I needed to talk to him some more soon which he was really happy about. I also told him that it is possible that I will try to drop off the face of the earth and if he didn't want that he will have to make an effort. He promised to call me at least once a week.

And sorry Soozie, but communication was a big part of the problem. We ended up with a very intense, very involved relationship with absolutely no ground rules. Which wasn't good, but it hadn't caused a problem, because it had been monogamous. Until about 3 weeks ago when he did something that ended up making me upset. Then I didn't really talk to him for 2 weeks, and I got more upset. He knew something was wrong but didn't push it, and accepted my answer of "I'm fine"
And we are just friends, in part because I can't mentally or emotionally handle the half assed fling right now.

We would have been together for a year this weekend.

But now I need sleep

:grouphug: Hugs to you all!!!!

12-04-2002, 11:23 PM
Soozie-I think you will have to subscribe again since the server change. Suzanne would probably have more answers for that.

Squeak- I hope that you got some rest and are feeling better soon :)

12-05-2002, 08:58 AM
Oh crap, Squeaker. :mad: I'm really sorry.
love and hugs... :df:

12-05-2002, 10:10 AM
It's ok Ellis. I was upset mostly because it was completely out of the blue. It was only a one time thing that he did. And it was some one he had just met. And alcohol was involved. (And my stupid California friend's influence - though she is not the other girl, just other girl's friend) I think if I had some warning, we would have talked and I wouldn't be as upset. Plus if I would have told him what was wrong and got it out of my system, rather then letting it eat away for 2 weeks I would have been better.

He has apologized about 100 times.

We just have a lot more to sort out. Now that we have started talking I feel a little better. I told him I didn't think it was a good idea to fool around any more right now, he agreed. Definately not until we are completely ok again, if even then.

I got a lot of sleep last night and that felt wonderful. I plan on going to bed early tonight to, birthday or not.

12-05-2002, 01:12 PM
Squeak... is it your birthday, hon?

Is this like that movie, "Circle of Friends"?
You're both such good friends, and I just want things to work out for you. :cry:

12-05-2002, 01:27 PM
I haven't seen Circle of Friends. Maybe I should rent it.

No matter what we will be friends. Nice thing was the other night, even though I KNEW it, he told me I was his best friend. He had never actually told me that before.

and yup, I am 25 today.

12-05-2002, 01:42 PM
Oh my gosh....

Happy Birthday, Squeaker!!!

:gift: :hat: :queen: :dance:

Yes, you should rent it.

12-05-2002, 02:04 PM

12-05-2002, 03:04 PM
I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. Some of my most painful memories are from breaking up after long relationships.

Remember this... the person you want to spend the rest of your days with must want to be with you over any other. He must love you as much as you love him. He must make you a top priority in his life. He must commit to you fully. Anything less than this and you are selling yourself short and will pay for it with a problematic relationship/marriage. There is nothing worse than being in a relationship where you care more, love more, and hope more than your partner and are always the one ending up hurt and wondering and being apologized to. For someone with depression, the faulty automatic response is to blame yourself and feel that you are not good enough or unworthy of love. But the truth is that his feelings and actions have little to do with who you are as a person and everything to do with who HE is as a man.

I'm so very sorry this didn't work out but it seems like he just wasn't ready to commit to you. You deserve far better. I know it hurts more than anything and you feel like facing each day is unbearable. But you are stronger than you think... people (like us) who deal with depression are true survivors! Just take it one moment... one day at a time. It will hurt for awhile, probably a long time. But the pain will eventually fade and I promise that later in life you will look back (holding your new boyfriend's hand) and wonder "what was I thinking???" :^:

12-05-2002, 03:43 PM
Dear Squeak,
Happy Birthday sweet young thing.
If you read my story you'll know, just because he slept with someone else doesn't mean there will never be a substantial relationship between the two of you. What seems unclear and uncommunicated really is what exactly the two of you have. You know that you are best friends and you know that you are attracted to each other.

So, at some point it feels imperative to really really talk...openly and clearly, both of you, without concern for each others feeling. You know, don't protect the other and don't protect yourselves too much. Say what is really true for each of you, what you would ideally want in a relationship with the other and then see if you can come up with something that works for both of you.

The thing is you were acting like friends, saying "we're friends" and then acting like lovers. You were not talking about what that all meant. So, if he had a thing with someone else it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you or want to be more than your friend. It may mean that he is scared of commitment,or feels like he is too young to make a commitment, or that he thought that you didn't want a commitment or that he is concerned about trying to be in a relationship when you are so far apart from one another.

I guess what I'm saying, because I'm a hopeless romantic, is, if it feels right and you love him, which it sounds like you do, don't let a fling tear you two asunder, if its not meant to be and you aren't right for each other, well okay. But, at least give it a chance by really talking and being clear with each other first.

If you aren't going to be in a relationship then you should really focus on being good friends with each other and NEVER be physical, even the wrestling would be off limits. Because you have the physical history and are attracted to each other and you'll have to work hard to move on from that and be just friends.

Love, Soozie

12-05-2002, 04:44 PM
Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday dear SQUEAK, Happy Birthday to YOU!!!

12-05-2002, 06:54 PM
:hat: :hb: Happy Birthday Squeak! :mouse: :gift:

12-05-2002, 07:19 PM

:hb: :gift: :hat: :dance: :dance: :hat: :gift: :hb:

I agree with Soozie. The main thing is openness, honesty and trust. You two have a long history, and it is obvious that you love each other very much. The question is: Do you love each other as good friends, lovers or both? It seems like there has always been some confusion there between you two. He may have even been trying to force the issue in some drunken moronic kind of way. You once said that you had hurt him before by closing down. Try to stay open. It can be very scary, but when you stay open and it WORKS, thats when magis starts happening!!! And YES, once you figure out what the feelings are, and what the relationship is, stick to it!!!

We all love you; and you are a wonderful and worthwhile person OUTSIDE of this relationship as well as inside it!!!

12-05-2002, 08:16 PM
Happy Birthday Squeak,
As for helping, I am sure there is nothing I could say to add to what all these wonderful FRIENDS here have said. We all love you and want the best for you.

12-06-2002, 10:11 AM
Friends is right Virginia. You girls are all amazing. You have helped so much and have given me so much to think about. I am feeling a little better about the whole thing.

Thank you so much for all of the birthday wishes. I was a bum and asleep by 9. :) I have had a ton of food in the last 2 days, and last night it was pizza dip & cookies for dinner.

I feel very fortunate to have found the Alternachicks. I have found so much advice, support, and love.


12-06-2002, 10:10 PM

(tee hee):D

12-06-2002, 10:41 PM
Oh, man.
I hate to be a whiner, but my darling DH just brought home the Christmas tree with the kids. When he brought it through the door, it was about 9 feet tall. Perfect for our ceilings. But the trunk was about 8 inches across, and he had to cut it down to get it into the holder. Now it's about 6 feet tall. And now that the branches are open, I see that the damned thing is over 6 feet ACROSS!!! It's taking up almost a quarter of my dining room. curses.
And there are over 2 dozen branches littering the floor. And countless needles. And I've got to babysit that darned 11 month old tomorrow. I wonder if he'd mind spending the day in the bathroom.

Oh, man.... you should see it. There's no room for the dining table...

12-07-2002, 02:09 AM
LMAO!!!! Spend the day in the bathroom! No, I'm sure he won't just put him in the tub and throw in some toys, then lay some ply wood over top so he won't escape. A perfect plan. :devil: :lol: :joker:

12-07-2002, 12:15 PM
Dear Scrooge...ummmm....I mean Ellis......

12-07-2002, 08:34 PM
But now you have plenty of tree to decorate, Ellis. We always have more ornaments then branches. Hope the babysitting went well.

Den - not cookies in the pizza dip, just at the same sitting, which I realize still is borderline gross. :)

12-07-2002, 09:43 PM
Ellis-How DID the babysitting go?

Squeak-I was just teasing!! I thought confusing it would be obnoxious, and that's what I do best!! (See, when I was a kid i was too "good", so now i am trying to get in touch with my inner brat.):p

12-08-2002, 01:35 AM
We usually go for a chubby little live three footer with a root ball...well, I should say that is what we did last year and two years before that...the year inbetween we were treeless until the last minute and I bought a little teeny Charlie Brown tree in a pot that died.

The two others are thriving in our yard. One in the front yard and one in the backyard. We have room for lots of evergreens as we would like to create more privacy in the back and on one side of our property. I'll probably buy another three footer this year. My DP usually digs the hole to plant it when we get a warm December day. This December has been pretty cold so far...hope the ground isn't too frozen. With the live trees I don't like to keep them indoors too long...the less time inside the better. So, it won't be up too long. Less muss, less fuss...only those babies are really heavy!!!! So, I'll need help lugging it in the house...anyone want to come help?

Confession...didn't exercise today but did better with my eating after breakfast of champions. Hoping for gym tomorrow.
Love, Soozie

12-08-2002, 01:56 AM
I'm not too far away, sooz...I'll be down in the morning...look for the fat chick with the Santa hat on!
Have the cocoa ready.

12-08-2002, 02:13 AM
You got it girlfriend...and I know that you mean the sugar free, fat free hot cocoa right?
Goodnight! Soozie

12-08-2002, 02:19 AM
DUH! of course!

think she believed me?

12-08-2002, 10:33 AM
Velvet, I should have listened to your advice re: the bathtub. Gawd, what a day. He wouldn't go to sleep, so DH and I spent the entire 5 hours entertaining him and keeping him out of trouble. OUR kids spent last night at my parent's for a sleepover, and DH and I were planning on a romantic evening together. After my girlfriend picked up her baby at 4:30, we just slumped in the living room, gazing blankly at one another. We were so tired, we ended up going to bed at 6:30. :lol: In fact, DH is STILL sleeping! NO MORE BABIES!!!!

I had to move the living room furniture into the front room with the tree, and the dining room stuff into the living room. That tree is HUGE!!! I DID cut a few branches off the back (without knocking the damned thing over) and was able to push it a little closer to the wall.

I can't wait to get it out of the house. I like your idea, Soozie. I ALWAYS cry when my DH brings the tree into the house. I HATE killing trees!! I'm going to try to convince everyone that a fake one will do next year. Going to look for something funky... White and silver. Tall and NARROW!!

Going to pick up the kids. We're having a pizza party tonight with some friends and making truffles. I hate pizza... but I'll eat it if it's there. Maybe I can get away with just one piece...
Does anyone want truffles? Because I always make them for gifts, and I think people are sick of them. So am I. It's tradition, though...

12-08-2002, 11:56 AM
Yum! I'll take some truffles :T

We don't have room in our apartment for a tree so I just spruce up the place by putting out some nice candle holders with cinnamon scented candles around the house. I also am picking up some real pine boughs.

Last year I hung the boughs from the two wall sconces in our living room and placed a small fresh pine wreath in the centre of the buffet table and placed a footed tray of shrimp in the middle. It looked really nice and the whole house smelled of pine.

I also have a lovely bowl made out of wire and burgundy beads which I am filling with burgandy and gold Christmas balls and pine cones that I spray painted gold.

That is the extent of my decorating :) less to pack up afterwards too!

12-08-2002, 01:00 PM
"sprucing" it up? Then are you gonna balsam?

12-08-2002, 01:55 PM
oh geez, ruthie :rolleyes:

12-08-2002, 07:07 PM
Okay, fir sure it is time to start the pun thread.

12-08-2002, 07:49 PM
oh yeah...pineing for that!

12-08-2002, 08:15 PM
Maybe we should just leaf it alone! Shall I split the thread? :lol: All you have to do is ash! And then we could really branch out!

I am so very sorry!

12-08-2002, 09:11 PM
What is going on here? I can't see the forest for the trees.....

ok, yes that was bad


12-08-2002, 10:44 PM
Girls, those puns jokes arbor-ing.
You're all barking up the wrong tree.
Ugh! Soozie

12-08-2002, 11:51 PM
I think I'm gonna puke.

12-09-2002, 10:23 AM
Sycamore jokes, ellis?

12-09-2002, 11:21 AM
Kat...that was really good! I'm impressed!
Anyway...kid's late for school today. She was sick a couple of days last week then we had two snow days. Now she thinks she never has to go back. I let her sleep in a bit and now she is watching tv. In five minutes I'll go break the news that she has to get moving.
Then, I have to get my rear to the gym. (though I feel like she does, would rather go back to bed!)
Talk to you soon!