100 lb. Club - What's the meanest thing someone said to you because of your weight?




Gamecockgrrl
01-17-2011, 03:32 PM
So I was reading my other thread about turning points, and some of the experiences people have written about included some pretty mean and hurtful comments from others and it got me wondering: What's the meanest thing someone ever said about your weight, or experience you had regarding your weight?

For me, it would have to be an experience I had with my uncle. I used to be a gym rat and worked out all the time. As a result, I was in excellent shape. Skip ahead to getting married, moving away from home and going through 2 years of infertility treatments, and a 12 pound baby later, I gained about 100 pounds. After being away for those 2 years, I went home for a family get-together and my uncle comes up to me and says: "Good lord, I'll bet you would have just adopted if you knew it was going to do that to your A$$!" while I was holding my newborn son. The other family members that were standing around thought that was high comedy, which made me feel as if they advocated what my uncle just said. But I'm a natural redhead and I just looked at him and said "Well, I thought about following your weight loss plan, but I figured staying drunk, beating my wife and going to jail for 3 months would take too much time". Right there I just voiced 3 taboos in my family...don't talk about their drinking, beating their wives or what sort of low lifes they really are. I packed up my son, we left and I haven't talked to any of them since. My son is now 5 and doesn't know anyone on my side of the family.
What makes people think some of the things they say to overweight people is ok???


clurrrburrr
01-17-2011, 03:40 PM
Mine was definitely over the summer.

I was traveling through the UK with my family, and we were staying at a picturesque castle in Scotland. I fell head over heels in love with the place - secret gardens, a lake, hiking trails, groves, etc. I was reading a Bridal magazine while at tea with my family and made a joke that this was where I was going to get married.

My dad turned to me and said, in all seriousness, "Don't count on getting married."

I stopped and asked him why, thinking he was going to say something funny like "Where are you gonna get the money? I'm not paying to give you away!" or something like that.

Instead he kind of turned his eyes down and told me, "You can't expect to get married looking the way you do."

I remember just staring in horror. My dad is like my white knight - always told me I was beautiful, always stood up for me. Suddenly, he punched me in the stomach. If he didn't think someone would love me, who would?

I couldn't look my family in the eyes for the rest of the day. I was mortified.

Gamecockgrrl
01-17-2011, 03:43 PM
Clurrburr, yours was one I was thinking of when I wrote this post. I was livid for you. And if that's you in your avatar, you are beautiful!


clurrrburrr
01-17-2011, 03:46 PM
Ha! Yep - me and 2/3 of my brothers!
And thank you - you're sweet.

I told my best friend when we got back into the country, and she nearly called him to yell at him.

Yours was not kind either! I don't get why people think they can talk to us this way!

aasshhlleeyy
01-17-2011, 03:48 PM
My heart goes out to both of you ladies. We should never have to hea these hurtful things especially from our family!

tattoodles
01-17-2011, 03:54 PM
My step sister took some pics a couple Christmases ago when I was still at my heaviest. She made sure to tell me that when she showed the pics to a friend of hers they said, "Who's the pregnant chick???" Referring to me. I also ran into a guy I went to middle and high school with and he didn't even recognize me. He wasn't trying to be mean but didn't recognize me at all and after I finally got him to remember who I was all he said was, "Wow, you look...different." that was so hard to hear.

TooManyDimples
01-17-2011, 03:57 PM
Game that's awesome that you were strong enough to stand up for yourself and say that to your uncle. What a jerk. So many people wouldn't be able to say a word.

I've never had a lot of mortifying experiences when it comes to my weight. The only two I can really think of involve a car I used to own. I had a little mazda miata when I was in highschool till I was about 22.

I had a new top put on it and my dad took me to pick it up when it was ready. I was writing the check out to the guy and my dad was talking to him and he said, "I don't know why such a big girl likes these little cars." My dad and I don't have a great relationship, never have, and I've always felt like he's had a problem with having overweight kids.. that was the first time he ever made me feel like crap about it though.

And then one time when I was around 20 I was getting gas, and a car full of girls drove by and they were chanting "fat b!tch in a little car." I was so upset but I just pretended like I couldn't hear them.

When both those things happened I was probably more like between 200 and 220. Long time ago, but both those incidents really stick with me.

Jonesie
01-17-2011, 04:00 PM
Mine was when I offered my maternity clothes to a relative who was NOT skinny. They replied "Those would fall off of me." I totally gained a good 60lbs more and kept it for years before I did anything about the weight. Im now good friends with her but I will never forget what she said to me.

Ashley777
01-17-2011, 04:12 PM
to both of you my heart goes out to you and gamegrl way to go on the comeback that is awesome.
for me,
your *** is flabby, look at you who would want you, also when I once commented about not having sex for years - who would want to do that with you, your body shocked me (cause I have stretch marks from being pegnant).... ex husband. 7 years ago he got a job at the company where my daughter worked (cause he never really worked anyways)and she had a higher and better paying job then him.... and she made him know it too!

Essa415
01-17-2011, 04:14 PM
I was at the bar with my gorgeous skinny friend (who happens to be married), she was getting hit on by some drunk guy and she tried to pawn him off on me but he was like "I want you, not her, shes huge"....

I mean its not like he was cute or even my type but it shot through me like an arrow. I want to be the gorgeous thin girl that gets the attention too!!

duckyyellowfeet
01-17-2011, 04:39 PM
During my freshman year of college, I was talking to a boy that I had sorta dated/ had a fling with when I was in high school. I was with someone else when we were having this conversation, and was really over him by that point. However, I asked him why we had never been "official".

His response: "Well, I wanted to, but I was already getting a ton of he** from my friends about....well, you know. Your weight and all."
Which basically meant I was good enough to fool around with but too fat to actually be someone's girlfriend.

Pacifica Bee
01-17-2011, 04:42 PM
I have 2 and a half stories:

One day I was getting out of the car with my husband and a truck
full of teenagers were driving down the street. One of them yelled "MOO" out the window; I was looking right at him and we made eye contact so there is no doubting what that was about.

In another incident, I was in the grocery store in the dairy aisle and a youngish couple was picking out yogurt. I heard the guy say, "don't get that; you'll end up looking like that." I was the only other person in the aisle. He didn't even bother lowering his voice.

The half story isn't a verbal one. I was in the health food store with my husband who is a VERY good looking guy; he's 6'2", long auburn hair down the middle of his back and weighs about 200, so pretty fit (he's also 12 years younger then me... how lucky am I hehehe). He had his arm around me and was snuggling on me as he usually is. There was a gym bunny couple at the next check out line who obviously cared a great deal about looks (both were primped to the nines and dressed very carefully) and I saw them looking at us, giving each other questioning looks, and kind of smirking and boggling at the same time. That one really bugs me even though I am assuming what was going on.


Also, this is hotstuff ;)
"Well, I thought about following your weight loss plan, but I figured staying drunk, beating my wife and going to jail for 3 months would take too much time".

gagirl1
01-17-2011, 04:45 PM
I have a coworker that has made several comments. For instance if she's telling a story she has said something like "she was a really big woman, probably about your size." And recently when I was preparing to move to one of our other offices and she found out where my temporary desk would be she said "Your chair may be too big for that space. As a matter of fact, you may not even fit there." I would like to think she doesn't say things like that to be intentionally rude but it certainly is. I try not to let it get to me when it comes from her because she is known as the office gossip and is judgmental of everyone. And for the record, my space is small but I fit there just fine.

Gamecockgrrl
01-17-2011, 04:50 PM
I have a coworker that has made several comments. For instance if she's telling a story she has said something like "she was a really big woman, probably about your size." And recently when I was preparing to move to one of our other offices and she found out where my temporary desk would be she said "Your chair may be too big for that space. As a matter of fact, you may not even fit there." I would like to think she doesn't say things like that to be intentionally rude but it certainly is. I try not to let it get to me when it comes from her because she is known as the office gossip and is judgmental of everyone. And for the record, my space is small but I fit there just fine.


Wow...just wow...you know, I've never been "handicapped" with niceness...I would have to come up with a story about someone not that bright and say "She wasn't that bright...maybe just a little smarter than you..."

Dee SoKo
01-17-2011, 04:51 PM
Upon meeting my size 0 sister, an ex-boyfriend said: "Are you sure you guys have the same father? How can she be so thin and perfect and you look like, well...that?"

shellsbrood
01-17-2011, 04:58 PM
Ugh, my heart goes out to all of you guys (esp you, clurrrburrr)!

My dad always had an issue with my weight, even when I was a teenager and really thin. There was one 4th of July weekend a few years back when my family got together. My sis-in-law loved to run every morning, so my dad want to get her a reflective vest to run in. He rounded the corner saying "Hey, I got you this vest..." and stopped when he saw me. He said "Yeah, like you'd run. This is definitely not for you.", laughed as though the thought was extremely amusing and walked away. I felt humiliated.

Now, he's pretty much out of my life and I'm good with that. :D

Nola Celeste
01-17-2011, 05:03 PM
Most of the time, my inner dialogue has been far more cruel than anything other people have said to me.

There was this time that I got into it with a total stranger at a video rental place, though. The guy was there with his little daughter and his whippet-thin wife who didn't say a word through the whole event (I suspect she was from Stepford). Anyway, he was in front of me and just...haranguing the poor clerk in the worst way. He was literally cursing at her, calling her stupid, being incredibly abusive--and of course as she's a retail clerk, the chick is just biting back her temper and taking it because that's what you have to do when you're a retail worker confronted with the species Jerkus maximus.

I'd had enough of his mouth and finally said so, not impolitely but firmly: "Sir, excuse me, but there's a line forming and rather than let your daughter keep hearing this, maybe you could resolve your problem with a manager," or words to that effect. He turns around and gives me this eerie little half-smile as if he's just been waiting for someone to call him on his behavior, just enjoying the **** out of the whole scene he's created. In this nasty, quiet whisper that's totally different from the shouting he's been doing, "Why don't you keep your mouth shut, you fat interfering *****?"

I'm so ashamed now in retrospect that I felt wretched when he said that. Here is this horrible, petty, vicious man making a dire scene in front of his daughter, abusing a hapless store clerk, calling a total stranger a...female dog, so to speak--and I was the one who felt bad because he used that three-letter F-word!? I wish I would've laughed. I wish I would've howled at that, because now I think of it as about as much of an insult as "Oh, yeah? Well, you're TALL!" I mean, really? The worst he can say is that?

Yeah, I was fat, and I was certainly interfering, and there's not much doubt that I'm that other thing sometimes too. But he was vile. I can lose weight; he will always be a butthole with legs. I'm still sorry that the best retort I could give was, "with anger issues like yours, you'll be dead of a heart attack soon so I'm not going to waste any more breath on you." (And admittedly, that wasn't very nice to say in front of a little girl, either, for which I am still somewhat ashamed. :( )

In the ideal world of my imagination, his wife decided on that very night that she'd had enough of his crap, packed her bags, took the kid, and left him.

drinkypants
01-17-2011, 05:12 PM
I have always been overweight, and when I was around 10 one of my girl cousins told me "Nobody will ever marry you, you're too fat." That hurt me for years, and I believed it.. The funny thing is, my husband married me at my heaviest weight over 300lbs. He saw who I am, not just the fat.

nickyj
01-17-2011, 05:13 PM
when I was younger, my grandpa always said I had horsy thighs, but that didnt really bother me because I didnt become overweight until I was in my early 20's. At a new years party, my husband's friend was talking about all the gorgous women he was always hooking up with and I remarked, "oh like me" and he says, no, your too fat. I wanted to cry. to be fair though, he was pretty drunk, and to this day doesnt remeber saying that.

Robsia
01-17-2011, 05:15 PM
A boyfriend at the time told me that one of our co-workers who fancied him, had seen us together and had told him "You can do better than that!" meaning her of course!

Pissed off with her for saying it, and him for telling me about it with a smirk!

He later cheated on me, and I dumped the arse.

Funnily enough, AFTER I had lost most of my weight, I took up running and my mother thought it was hilarious. I said that one day I might run a marathon and she literally laughed in my face, really cruelly and said "YOU! Run a marathon!"

And she is a good 60 lb heavier than I am.

fitkristi
01-17-2011, 05:27 PM
When I was in elementary school, a family of kids (3 of them total) liked to spend the entire ride (usually about 40 minutes) making fun of me and my sisters. Their favorite thing to call us was "Pig Olson" (Olson was my maiden name). They liked whale too. They did it for an entire year until we moved to another town. 2 years later they moved to my street in the new town, and they picked up right where they had left off.

I've had a lot of waiters deliver my healthy food to my thinner friend - she typically orders huge nachos plates, or other fattening, high calories meals. And EVERY time they put the high calorie meal in front of me instead of her, and give her my salad/grilled chicken/etc.

When I was at college, there was a group of guys that lived in my dorm that liked to go "KATHOOM KATHOOM KATHOOM" for every step I took by them.

Oboegal
01-17-2011, 05:41 PM
One thing happened when I was a freshman in college that I'm not sure referred to my weight (I probably weighed around 170 at the time) or my general appearance. There were three or four people, including me, outside someone's dorm room. A couple of us said things, and the resident was going to reply to me, but didn't see me, so she thought she had mistaken my voice for someone else's. She said to the person at the door, "Sorry, didn't mean to say that you look like Oboegal." I had considered resident a friend up to this point.

Three or four years ago, I had a theater seat next to a rather crabby woman for a performance series. One time, as I tried to get into my seat, her cane was in my way--I thought I could navigate around it but inadvertently bumped it as I sat down. She told me I needed two seats.

About 22 years ago, I was probably between 220 and 230 and decided to get an item in an ice cream shop. When I asked for a spoon, the young male in his teens or twenties told me I could just stick my face directly into it. Of course, I complained to the manager who told me that their policy is to treat all customers with respect. Thinking back, I don't think he comped my dessert, and I hope he fired the kid but I doubt that he did. At the time, my main thought was that it's really stupid for an ice cream shop to alienate their fat customers.

FitGirlyGirl
01-17-2011, 06:14 PM
I hate for any of you to have had such experiences.

Game - I think your reaction was awesome. If your family behaves that way then they don't deserve you or your son. I have a brother that I don't talk to and will probably only see 2 more times in my life - for my father's 80th birthday which we plan to all be present for next year and for my father's funeral which will hopefully not be for quite some time yet. Family is the hand you get dealt, no rules say you have to keep those cards.

clurrrburrr - I'm sorry, but your dad needs a good hard slap or two. As for what he said, considering our start weights and heights you and I were about the same size. Not one, but 2 awesome men have married me at that size. (My ex is a great guy, we just want different things in life.) So, hopefully you already know that your dad is full of it in that regard, but there's some further evidence of it for ya.


I haven't had a whole lot of issues, the worst thing I have had is catty girls calling me fat when it had nothing to do with what was going on at the time. Like once there was a girl who decided that she was just going to step in line in front of the person in front of my ex and I. The woman in front of us was just aghast, I calmly took my ex's hand and moved in front of the girl and offered the other lady the spot in front of us. The girl's reaction included calling me fat. She got so loud and crazy that she ended up being tossed out of the club, I just calmly told her bye.

The only time anything ever truly hurt me was when my father said something like "you're just always going to be a big girl". He wasn't trying to hurt me and didn't even mean it to say that "big girl" was a bad thing. He also didn't say it out of the blue, it was conversationally appropriate. I know that the only problem my father has ever had with my weight is to worry over my health and to worry about me being hurt by shallow a$$holes. So since I know he loves me and didn't mean it badly it makes it better, but it still made me cry.

cherrypie
01-17-2011, 06:44 PM
This is the worst I can come up with, though it's not nearly as bad as some of these.

my mom was telling me she was visiting with an old friend she hadn't spoken to in years and naturally the only thing to talk about was how fat their daughters were. They argued back and forth for a bit then the other woman pulled out a picture of her daughter.

my mother kept sayin, "she's huge! she's bigger than you, just HUGE!" :lol:

ThinningVegan
01-17-2011, 07:30 PM
My mother has always made comments regarding my weight. The worst part of it is she used to weigh well over 200lbs after she had my older brother and she would tell me how she lost it by taking control of her food and exercise. The truth is she's bulimic and a binge eater. She would always feel the need to make comments about how much weight she's lost and then grab her jeans by the waist band and pull on them in front of me to show me how much room there is in them. Or she would tell me how she met someone who reminded her of me "and not just because we're both the same size"

I was picked on a lot in school and have had people shout out things to me on the street or when I've been with guys showing affection in public. (I've since developed a thing against pda's)

I think the number one thing that sticks out for me though is probably something my niece said to me when she was about 5 or so. She was spending the weekend with my husband and I and we were watching you tube videos. We came across this video of an extremely large woman who was sitting on 2 chairs side by side at the table eating from an entire turkey. She grabbed her massive tummy and picked it up and let it fall laughing.

My niece looked at me and said "Auntie! Is that YOU?"

I almost died.

mdchick88
01-17-2011, 08:01 PM
I had a friend (now an ex-friend) who I knew throughout middle/high school. She moved far away for college, while I went to school semi-close to home, so I didn't see her for 2 years. (Little back-story: I was extremely thin in high school, struggled with an eating disorder the whole time, and she was the only one that I had confided in - even though you could pretty much tell just by looking at me). I saw her after I had gotten out of that habit, and had gained about 75 pounds at that point. When I finally saw her, one of the first things she said to me was "Dang, you definitely got over the anorexia! Maybe you should go back to that for a little while..."

I was CRUSHED. I couldn't believe that she thought I was fat enough that I needed to go back to starving myself! And the fact that she was the only one who I told about the ED made it sooo much worse. UGH just thinking about it gets me mad! Needless to say, I have not seen or spoken to her since. I have to say, though, as much as it hurt - I'm glad it was a friend and not a close family member. My heart goes out to those of you that have had that kind of ugliness in your family!!

Ky30
01-17-2011, 08:08 PM
The worst comment for me was from my own Mother. Me, my 2 friends, and boyfriend went to the movies when I was 15, and the movie started late and ran late. So my Mom came to pick us and had to wait 30 minutes so when we got to the car we got in she was pissed yelling, cussing, and said what took your fat *** so long I wanted to die she said this in front of my boyfriend and 2 friends in the car it hurt so bad and I will never forget it.

BreathingSpace
01-17-2011, 08:41 PM
Wow, these are just... heartbreaking, really. And what is terrible is that most of them seem to come from our own FAMILIES. Like wtf?

Anyway, mine wasn't something someone said, but did.

My brother loves to make sure everyone knows that he hates "fat people". When I gained weight and was close to 200 lb he actually stopped speaking to me for entire year.

The only reason he broke his silence was because he needed me to help him out with something. By then I had lost 25 lb, and now I'm down more than 40 lb so now I guess I'm "okay" to associate with *rolls eyes*

Smiling_Sara
01-17-2011, 09:03 PM
Probably "don't you want a boyfriend? Cause you have such a beautiful face, but you'll never get one if you don't lose weight."

I know it wasn't meant to be hurtful, but it stung all the same. And there has been truth to it, even if it is in my own mind/doing.

milmin2043
01-17-2011, 09:18 PM
These truly are heart breaking, and they actually emotionally hurt me for each and every one of you. :hug: to you all!

My mother has a lot of her own issues concerning weight. Her mother was a very large woman. She had 14 children. Unfortunately, she was not a very clean person, and very nasty (from the way mom tells it) as well. So, over the years, I believe that my mom has associated being fat with being dirty, unclean, lazy, slovenly, everything bad you can imagine.

While I lived at home, we were poor and always had only enough to eat to keep us going, day to day. After I got away from home, I started the roller coaster of gaining and losing.

My mother has always been between 100 and 130 lbs. 5'3". Even at 9 months pregnant, never larger than that.

She has said some very cruel things to my sister and I over the years. But, honestly, the worst for me was when she said a few years back "if you try to lose weight again, I really hope it sticks because you used to be so pretty."

She also acted afraid of me when I was bigger. She would talk about people who were my same size and say just awful things. I guess she thought if she weren't saying it directly to me that there was nothing wrong with it. It has taken me many years of therapy to undo a lot of this.

In my ideal world, every one of us would have loving, supportive, caring, wonderful parents. :smug:

milmin2043
01-17-2011, 09:23 PM
Also, a past "friend" of mine went shopping with me. I was back up over 200 and had been for some time. She had seen me lose all the way down to 130 a few years before. We shared a changing room. I was down to bra and panties, very vulnerable at best, and she said "my God, if I had ever lost that much weight, no way would I regain it all and look like that".

I was crushed. Of course, I never told her how much that hurt me. We just gradually drifted apart after that. I haven't been back to a changing room since that comment. I buy online or where I know I can take it back if it doesn't fit.

Symmetry
01-17-2011, 09:32 PM
"Girls are commodities. Ugly* girls are broken products; no one would buy broken products."

*)fat, of course, and she was referring to marriage.

Mom. I was in elementary school. *facepalms*

lostangel05
01-17-2011, 09:34 PM
I haven't had anything as serious as the first post, but my little sister calls me fat cow pretty often. She's always been smaller than me and has no idea what it's like to struggle with the weight.

I've heard from a friend that a guy I used to hang out with told him that I would be hot if I lost the weight. lol So...good and bad? lol

But, recently, my sister has been saying I make her feel lazy because I exercise so much. :D

spixiet
01-17-2011, 09:55 PM
Suddenly, I am soooo incredibly thankful for my family :) We have our issues, no doubt, but they were never cruel regarding my weight. They might not have been particularly helpful, but never even the tiniest bit mean -

Aside from a couple boys in junior high who decided to follow me home from the bus stop and call names while throwing sticks and small rocks, and a couple other mean kids type incidents in childhood, I suddenly realize how lucky I've been (and how sad it is that I consider myself lucky since kids only threw stuff at me once...) -

Nola Celeste
01-17-2011, 09:57 PM
"Girls are commodities. Ugly* girls are broken products; no one would buy broken products."

*)fat, of course, and she was referring to marriage.

Mom. I was in elementary school. *facepalms*

Holy shnikeys...is your mom Betty Draper? :dizzy:

Gamecockgrrl
01-17-2011, 10:17 PM
OMG! Thank you Nola I needed that! LOL!

Nola Celeste
01-17-2011, 10:24 PM
I could totally see her saying that to little Sally, couldn't you?

The good news is that Sally seems to be turning out okay, so there's no need to believe the Bettys of the world and any bad news they have about "broken products." ;)

GirlyGirlSebas
01-17-2011, 10:49 PM
My SIL was telling me about finding some jeans that fit her perfectly and how excited she was. She has a difficult time finding jeans because she is heavy and a bit short. I was just nodding my head in commiseration with her as she told me when, out of the blue, she said "Well, at least I don't have your problem. You have these itty bitty lower legs and forearms and everything else is big." I had no idea what to say. I know that I'm obese, but I never realized that I look odd. I stood naked in front of the bathroom that night and asked my husband if he thought I looked odd, too. Well, I don't know what I thought he would say! :lol: Of course, he said no. But, I'm very self conscious now when I wearing capris or short sleeves.

theox
01-17-2011, 11:04 PM
Good for you for telling your uncle off, Gamecockgrrl! And :hug: to all of you guys.

At the moment, I can't recall too many *super* hurtful things that people have said to me about my weight. There were idiots at school (elementary school, mostly) and yahoos yelling out of car windows (and in one case throwing pennies at me), of course, but almost all of the mean or dismissive things that people have said to me about my weight have come from strangers or acquaintances who I've not been particularly attached to, and whose opinions usually don't carry a lot of weight with me anyway (no pun intended).

What really bothers me is when I sense that I am being overlooked, ignored, unfairly or unjustly excluded, or written off by people simply because of my weight. This has happened reasonably often in my life, in too many ways to list. On a related note, I haven't been too keen on the idea of getting married since I was a little kid, and there are still plenty of reasons why that's unlikely to occur even if I do lose the excess weight, but the way that a lot of men (many of whom are themselves overweight or obese) treat fat women in normal social and work situations has been most educational, and not really something that's made me inclined to favor the idea of trying for some special emotional and legal bond with one of 'em.

My weight also seems to incline some people to think I'll be stupid and so desperate for attention/affirmation that I'll be an easy mark for whatever they're selling, be it religion or makeup. Their delusions don't usually last too long. :lol:

Fortunately my parents have been pretty supportive of me, and their criticisms of my weight and eating habits (both of which they had a big hand in developing) have been pretty mild compared to what some of you have gotten from your families.

Rhapsodysia
01-17-2011, 11:53 PM
I grew up in a small town, 8,000 people at most. Everybody grew up with everybody, so we were all nice to each other for the most part. I got asked out in junior high a few times as a joke, and I knew it was a joke every time. Other than that, I never had issues with people being rude to me about my weight. Ever since I was a kid, I've been outgoing, so that helped as well since I wasn't the awkward fat girl sitting in the corner.

ParadiseFalls
01-18-2011, 12:45 AM
Wow...reading some of these is making me scared to leave the house! I've been very lucky, I suppose, not to have been tortured growing up. I can only think of two times when my peers were mean to me — the Token Annoying Kid in middle school once told my my feet were disproportionately small, and once a boy said "Watch out, she might sit on you" when another kid was joking around with me (again, in middle school). Oddly enough, I ended up dating the kid who said that for almost two years, and he was the sweetest boyfriend. Way nicer to me than I was to him, and I wonder if subconsciously my being a b*tch to him sometimes had to do with that ...

Other than those, the only other two times someone said anything to me have been in the last two years. And I was a fat kid — I was 215 pounds throughout most of middle school.

I did experience the people not recognizing me, though, which was humiliating. I had starved myself down to 135 my freshman year of high school, moved away and gained it all back (up to about 220), and then I went back to that high school. Nobody made jokes or anything, but a few didn't recognize me.

The Last Noel
01-18-2011, 12:46 AM
Reverse chronological order.

Prospective employers who brought me in based on the extensive military experience in my resume only to end the interview within minutes with the said excuse being my weight and/or fitness level even though the job is in no way physical (this has happened 3 times in a year).

My mother is bipolar. In the past when she became angry she has called me a fat-(unlovely word for offspring resulting from a horse and a donkey here).

When I was a size 10 my boyfriend of the time in telling me about a vivid hot and heavy dream with a beautiful woman...like one of the people who posted above I said "Like me?" and he said no, she was skinny.

When I was a size 8 going to the movies with my boyfriend at the time one of his friends looked at my midsection said "wow" and asked if I was pregnant.

Both of the last ones were real wtf moments.

The Last Noel
01-18-2011, 12:47 AM
Also this thread is so sad and my heart goes out to all you ladies. You are all so strong. We can do this despite the often craptastic close-minded world!

Laureedee
01-18-2011, 02:24 AM
I feel for you girls, some of these stories are just awful. And Essa, you may not be thin (yet!) but you ARE gorgeous! I've gotten comments over the years, but not much that sticks out. I once had a total stranger come up and tell me "Wow, you're a big girl aren't you!" I think I was 190ish at the time. And one that did bother me...I was a newish driver so I was probably 17 and my cousins and I were at Wal*mart, wasting time. We were walking shoulder to shoulder so the four of us took up the aisle and I was on the end, so I ended up bumping into a display of bikinis. The youngest cousin, who was and always has been a stringbean, decides to run his mouth so he laughed and said something like "Yeah like you'll ever fit into one of those." He's still like that, NO filter, and I've accepted that it's how he is but back then...honestly, I knew I was chubby/fat, but despite lack of male attention and other fat girl woes, I never really cared, and that was the first time I truly felt bad about myself.

Amber1011
01-18-2011, 02:45 AM
I actually had a comment on my mind recently and I talked about it in my blog today ( http://worsthalfweightloss.blogspot.com/ )

Its about a friend who made a particular negative comment about my before picture... which happens to now be 50 pounds lighter than I am today. The comment he made about how bad I looked in that picture makes me feel like sh*t about how much bigger than that I am now.

ParadiseFalls
01-18-2011, 11:07 AM
When I was a size 10 my boyfriend of the time in telling me about a vivid hot and heavy dream with a beautiful woman...like one of the people who posted above I said "Like me?" and he said no, she was skinny.

When I was a size 8 going to the movies with my boyfriend at the time one of his friends looked at my midsection said "wow" and asked if I was pregnant.


WOW. Just wow. I can't believe any civilized human being would say either of those things, particularly the second thing. Oh, wait no civilized human being would say those things.

I've never been a size 8 in my life, but I've been a 12, and I sure as **** know I didn't look pregnant then. That guy had some other reason for being evil, and it had nothing to do with you, I'm sure.

Man, I'm getting all upset just thinking about it.

LindseyLou
01-18-2011, 01:02 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about all these comments and experiences you all have endured! :( It amazes me that family and friends are the sources of many mean, hurtful comments. :?:

I've had a few mean comments I surely didn't appreciate. A little background info...I was a thin kid all the way through high school. Unfortunately for me I never had a flat stomach but I was quite small. My stomach is something I've always been self-conscious of, and probably always will be...so as you can imagine I just LOVE stomach/pregnancy comments/questions... :rolleyes:

Mean comment #1 - At 18, I weighed around 130, wearing a 4/6, looking pretty svelt, despite not having a flat stomach. My now husband's grandmother asked me if I was pregnant because my stomach was looking big. This question/comment was coming from a woman that is probably 100+ pounds overweight.

Mean comment #2 - Another was a few years back after I got married. I had gained about 30 pounds, and yes, still had the stomach going on. My MIL asked my husband -not even me- if I was pregnant. Like we wouldn't have told her if we were? And this coming from a woman that has a rather large stomach that she always says she is self-conscious about. It made me wonder if someone had asked HER, would she feel hurt, just like I did?! :?:

Mean comment #3 - The most recent (after losing nearly 25 pounds around Christmas), I felt great, (was wearing skinny jeans for the first time in forever) I got a lot of compliments on how good I looked. Yes, I was called thin! :D BUT, my aunt who has always badgered ANYONE that is remotely overweight, comes up to me and says "Gee, Linds you look like you've lost weight. You're starting to look pretty good now." I kind of stood in shock for a minute, thinking NOW? Thanks a lot. I wasn't going to say anything, but I did. "Now? What are you trying to say?" And she didn't say anything...maybe it just slipped out, I don't know, but it did hurt. :cry:

:hug: to all you ladies!!

I guess as someone that has personally been overweight and struggled with insecurities with my body, I know that I would NEVER EVER think to comment on someone's weight, EVER. So, my question is...Why can't people use some freakin' common sense? Why say such hurtful things? Does your mouth not have a filter?! THINK I'm fat all you want, BUT please don't point out that my stomach looks huge or my boobs are too big or that you think my thighs jiggle too much! Thanks!

Like momma always used to say, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!!!!

Barbi007
01-18-2011, 01:24 PM
Several years ago my husband (boyfriend at the time) and I were hanging out with his friend and his girlfriend. This was my first time meeting either of them so I was already a little nervous. We went out for drinks and then back to their house to watch a movie. After the movie, the girlfriend asked my husband if he was going to marry me since he "knocked me up". My husband glared back at her and said, "She's not pregnant." She just said, "Oh". And I kid you not about 20 minutes later she asked him, "Are you sure she's not pregnant, she's really big?". My husband is a VERY patient and loving person who NEVER gets angry but he had had enough. He took his friend aside and they talked for a few minutes and then he said, "Get your coat, let's get the h*** outta here." He was so mad that his friend had said nothing to his girlfriend about the rude comments that they still don't speak.

Momto2Ms
01-18-2011, 01:36 PM
I am saddened reading these stories. It is amazing comments can stick with us for a lifetime. As someone who has been overweight or obese my entire life, I have a few of my own:

1. I was very socially awkward as a teen. My senior year of high school I began trying with my appearance some. Getting my hair highlighted, wearing make-up, getting manicures. After a couple months of that, my mother said to me doing all that was a waste of my money because I was so fat that none of it will make it better.

2. When I was in college I was doing my student teaching in a kindergarten classroom. Many of the children's parents picked them up at the school in the afternoons and I would help to get them into their cars. One of the little girls gave me a hug and while running to her (very thin) mother yelled, "See Mom! I told you Ms. W****** was so fat I couldn't even get my arms around her."

3. Also, in college I had lost a significant amount of weight, but was still pudgy. A guy I was on a date with told me I had "More rolls than the best bakery in town." Then he tried to laugh it off and kiss me when he was leaving.

4. Couple years ago I went on an 11 mile hike with some friends. As we were coming out of the trail there was a jeep full of younger boys (probably early 20s) and one of them yelled at me that "Doing another 11 miler would do you good."

Those were the biggies... there are a lot of little things said over the years, but those were the most hurtful.

TooManyDimples
01-18-2011, 01:51 PM
When I was in middle school I was around 200. All the popular cute boys made a habit of "flirting" with me in class. They'd ask me out, tell me how good I was looking, or ask me if I'd wear a bikini to school the next day. Lucky for me I had a smart mouth, so I'd usually come back with a pretty good response and the class would all start laughing at them instead of me (sometimes even the teachers couldn't stop from laughing). My defenses were pretty good, but it didn't change the fact that it hurt, and what's even worse is that even though it hurt my feelings I still got a bit of thrill out of the cute boys giving me attention, even if it was negative attention.

I ended up going to a private high school. Probably one of the best things that could have happened for me. I don't know how another 4 years of school with those same kids and maybe more like them would have effected me.

ladyfyre
01-18-2011, 02:00 PM
MOMto2Ms - Your stories were so hurtful, especially the one from your MOM. She was so cruel.

Coondocks
01-18-2011, 02:20 PM
THe worst by far was grade 7 or 8, I was one of the biggest kids in the class, truth be told there was one girl bigger than me.
Class picture day and one of the very snarky girls made the comment "They'll never get us all in the picture with those to fat tubs in the same class"

There was one that happened only recently, a month or 2 ago visiting Shaun in BC. A co-worker of his we had gone out with I guess didn't realize I was in the bathroom of the club and had mentioned to her friend "I don't get it, why would some one like him hang out with some one that looks like that? Ugh, she's beneath me" Shaun being 6'4 built firefighter with blonde hair and blue eyes . . . . early John Travolta. Yum.
I didn't rant and rave, told Shaun I was tired and was going but it was fine for him to stay out with the rest of them. The next day he asked why I was upset, I told him and he hugged me and told me I was silly
"You've always been beautiful, always. You know how great you've done, i know it, who cares if some one wants to be a coward like that."
I'm lucky, I know it, at my heaviest of 248 . . . he looked me in the eyes and told me I was beautiful and I never doubted he meant it :)

Can you tell I miss him a bit?

SweetScrumptious
01-18-2011, 02:52 PM
I don't remember much mean comments from strangers or even classmates in school. One or two, but I guess it wasn't significant to me as I can't remember the comments now.

What I do remember is comments from my little brother. He had behavioural issues growing up (ADHD, ADD, etc). Which, thankfully, he has 100% grown out of. Anyways, he liked to annoy me as his little game. I remember one time, he drew a huge circle on a piece of paper with a head and some legs/arms and right next to it and he made a little dot. Little dot = the world. Big person = me. Another time, me and my mom were helping out his Scout group and at the end, the Scout Master thanked my mom and me for helping out. When he thanked Caitlin for helping, my brother yelled out "Ya that's the fat one". Right in front of my long time elementary crush. Ouch. There were a lot more comments from him but those 2 are the most significant ones that I remember. It's been awhile since he's annoyed me about that (once he hit puberty, his hormanal/chemical balances prob became inline again that he no longer had issues).... and I'm grateful I no longer need to deal with that as it was very hard growing up.

joy3
01-18-2011, 07:07 PM
Hugs for us all! Ten years and three kids after I was married, my 100 pound beautiful on the outside SIL said, "Wow, I was always surprised Bob married you. He only dated skinny girls." Like the only thing that matters is our weight!!! We have been married thirty years now, more deeply in love than ever, but I have NEVER forgotten her saying this to me!

Momto2Ms
01-18-2011, 08:36 PM
MOMto2Ms - Your stories were so hurtful, especially the one from your MOM. She was so cruel.

With the exception of topics of weight she was/is a really great mother, but that seemed to sink in a little deeper than all the times she told me I was smart, or kind, or beautiful, or whatever.

fillupthesky
01-19-2011, 02:35 AM
these stories are awful. i feel for all of you. and for me. throughout the years, i've also heard my share of not so nice things.

thought i'd bring a little humor to the thread-
i went to college in a suburban area. my suitemate and i decided to take a ride to 7eleven to get a slurpee and a snack. at the time, i was probably weighing around 240ish. my suitemate was also heavyset. these guys were leaving the store at the same time we were, and as we were pulling out of the lot, the decided to shout "awww no big gulps for the fatties? come back, i'll give you a piece of something good to (insert perverted comment)". gross. my suitemate takes no crap from anyone, and neither do i. we saw them a few minutes later, as they happened to stop at the same light we were at down the road. my suitemate rolled down her window (i was driving) smiled, and proceeded to throw her entire slurpee into their car. i don't think i waited for the light to turn green....all i heard was them cursing :)

KathrynKelara
01-19-2011, 02:52 AM
Ugh, these people make me crazy! Why does it seem better to be a crack-addicted hooker (as for example) than to be overweight!? Just a couple of months ago I was walking down the street with a male friend after the bar had closed. Some guys pulled over on the opposite side of the road and yelled, "Are you pregnant?!" After I only glanced at them they drove away. It was such a random thing to say, but I guess I won't be wearing the shirt I thought was so cute anymore.

2salads
01-19-2011, 09:57 AM
Honestly, people don't know when to be quiet. In my case mainly family members! I can't recall a mean comment from a stranger, actually. In my family it's usually very innocuous stuff like "You've lost weight, haven't you? I can see it in your face." In reality I hadn't lost any weight but did get a darn fine haircut which went unmentioned and probably contributed to my "slimmer face". I remember when my Aunt, whom I hadn't seen in person for 10 years, first came to live with some family up around here the very first thing she says to me is "Wow, you got fat, didn't you?" I had to just stare as she was at least 50lbs heavier than me.

The funny thing is no one on my Mom's side of the family ever says anything to me about my weight. And they are super skinny. But my Dad's side of the family is all overweight and they are the ones that say the rudest, meanest things! It's like they are overcompensating for their own weight issues and saying things to me that they can't say to themselves.

scarletmeshell
01-19-2011, 11:42 AM
I was head over heels in love with a with the most physically beautiful man I'd ever seen. To be honest, I still love him and am hurting over the loss of the dreams I had. I should have listened and ran for the hills when he said to me "yes baby, I do love you, but what are people going to think? They are going to say why is someone that looks like me in love with someone that looks like you". Makes me cry even now.:cry: This is really just the tip of the iceberg of his cruelty. Dealing with this relationship is why I dissapeared from this board for a year.
So everyday I tell myself, I have value, I deserve to be treated better, and I don't need food to make myself feel better.

Essa415
01-19-2011, 12:07 PM
I was head over heels in love with a with the most physically beautiful man I'd ever seen. To be honest, I still love him and am hurting over the loss of the dreams I had. I should have listened and ran for the hills when he said to me "yes baby, I do love you, but what are people going to think? They are going to say why is someone that looks like me in love with someone that looks like you". Makes me cry even now.:cry: This is really just the tip of the iceberg of his cruelty. Dealing with this relationship is why I dissapeared from this board for a year.
So everyday I tell myself, I have value, I deserve to be treated better, and I don't need food to make myself feel better.


I feel so much for you!! Men can be so cruel! I once had an ex who I was completely in love with tell me that he would "Love me forever if I just lost weight"...

Its hard to hear those word from someone you feel so much for! You deserve so much more than that!! There are better opportunities for you out there, and a man who will love you just the way you are :)

XLMuffnTop
01-19-2011, 12:28 PM
Some guys pulled over on the opposite side of the road and yelled, "Are you pregnant?!" After I only glanced at them they drove away. It was such a random thing to say, but I guess I won't be wearing the shirt I thought was so cute anymore.

Wear it anyway! I'm sure you look great it in and people say that sort of crap no matter what.

My poor sister has insane in-laws. When she was at their house for lunch, her MIL looked at her shirt (empire waisted) and made a pregnancy comment. Ok... what the crap? My sister is skinny... like... half of me. I chalk it up to people's idiocy and let them know exactly what I think.

SheriWantsToRun
01-19-2011, 12:38 PM
A few years ago I had to pick up my prissy Aunt Lil at the airport. Two minutes into our drive she randomly, and off topic, throws out "Your cousin Marlene has really let herself go. She's huge. Well, at least she's not as big as you." I literally pulled over on the side of the road, called my mother to come pick her up, and left her there. I've not spoken to her since.

I was a chubby kid, but looking back I was nowhere near the gargantuan monster I always felt I was. My mother has never weighed over 100lbs in her life and at the time, neither had my sister. Whenever we would go anywhere together, they would always walk 10ft ahead of me. When I asked them why they did it, they told me that it was too embarrassing to be seen with me. My sister and I have become closer over the years, but my mother still wonders why I don't like to spend time with her. *rolls eyes*

scarletmeshell
01-19-2011, 12:42 PM
I feel so much for you!! Men can be so cruel! I once had an ex who I was completely in love with tell me that he would "Love me forever if I just lost weight"...

Its hard to hear those word from someone you feel so much for! You deserve so much more than that!! There are better opportunities for you out there, and a man who will love you just the way you are :)

Thank you Essa for your kind words.:hug:

SwimGirl
01-19-2011, 12:54 PM
It's pretty terrible what people do to each other in this world!! My heart goes out to every single one of you, no one deserves to feel bad about their weight.

That being said.. I've got lots of my own..

The one I remember the most is from when I was 14, there were these boys are my new school - 3 of them. And they called me a whale, mooed at me, and every time I walked by they made the worst noises. I was mortified. I told my mom and aunt all about it, and my aunt told me it was sexual harrassment and I should go to the principle. So I did!! I went into his office, told him what was going on, explained I asked them to stop, and that if the school didn't do anything about it, I would charge them. It was pretty empowering. I wish I could tell you they stopped, I had peer counselling with 2 of the 3 boys and they stopped, but the 3rd one wouldn't. They gave me a choice at school, either do my work in the hallway or library, or drop all of my AP classes, which I refused to do. But in the end *I* was being punished, not him. Luckily his family moved away the next semester. Part of the reason I'll never forget this is somehow my story got published in a book on teenagers and weight. I've never read it, my mom keeps my copy.

-Aimee

BreathingSpace
01-19-2011, 01:14 PM
I guess as someone that has personally been overweight and struggled with insecurities with my body, I know that I would NEVER EVER think to comment on someone's weight, EVER. So, my question is...Why can't people use some freakin' common sense? Why say such hurtful things? Does your mouth not have a filter?! THINK I'm fat all you want, BUT please don't point out that my stomach looks huge or my boobs are too big or that you think my thighs jiggle too much! Thanks!


I agree, and even when I was thin and had never been overweight, I NEVER said anything like that to anyone.

Because really, WHY DOES IT MATTER? Like, why is it sooooo concerning to the person making the comment? I don't get it. I will admit I'm totally self-absorbed, but why would I ever worry about someone ELSE being overweight?

I just simply don't get it.

time2lose
01-19-2011, 01:31 PM
Many years ago, my husband's aunt referred to me as "your fat mother" when talking to my children. So I quit taking the children to see her and avoided her at family get-togethers. It was her loss because she did not get to know my fantastic kids!

kittycarlson
01-19-2011, 05:10 PM
I went to a brunch at a casino with a co-worker/friend who was very heavy and her very thin husband. We were waiting in line and they were holding hands. This well dressed, professional looking, middle aged man behind us asked her husband if its true that "the bigger the cushion the better the pushin" We just stared at him and he added "I've heard about you guys addicted to fat women but you take the cake." I was so embarrassed and angry. We left. I've thought about it many times and I think why would a complete stranger be so hateful?

PlaygroundLove
01-19-2011, 05:35 PM
These are really heartbreaking.

My freshman year of college (I weighed around 220 at the time), I went to a party at a big off-campus housing complex with two girls I had been pretty good friends with up until that point. There was a "private party" in one of the housing units that we heard was awesome, so my two gorgeous, thin friends and I headed over. When we got to the door, two guys answered. Here's the exchange that followed:

Guy #1: Sorry ladies...it's pretty full in here.
Guy #2: Yeah, but come on man, we've always got room for two more gorgeous girls!
Guy #1: (nodding at me) Yeah, but then we'd have to take that one too.

At that point, one of my "friends" told me she had lost a girl we had been with earlier, and asked me for help finding her. I agreed, thinking that none of us were getting into the party. I split up with her to look for the other girl. Later, I found out that she had never been looking for the other girl at all- the second she got rid of me, she went into the party.

Also...I was talking to an ex once and he goes, "No, I like dating fat chicks. They usually have low self-esteem, so they're more willing to do crazy **** in bed to try to compensate." GOOD TO KNOW THAT'S WHY YOU DATED ME, THANKS.

MissKoo
01-19-2011, 08:09 PM
Seriously. What the h*ll is wrong with people?

Something about obesity brings out the worst in people. Their cruelty, shallowness, aggression, stupidity.

I know we humans judge by outside appearances (brain-stem stuff) but why is it okay to verbally assault people about it? What makes people feel the need to hurt someone for no other reason than their weight?

ALEKS
01-19-2011, 10:03 PM
Swimgirl: :( What school did you go to, I'm in Wpg too. How old areyou?

ParadiseFalls
01-19-2011, 10:08 PM
proceeded to throw her entire slurpee into their car.

:rofl:

oodlesofnoodles
01-19-2011, 11:57 PM
In 9th grade I shushed a guy in my science class because we were taking a test and he was pissing the teacher off, and he turned around and said "Shut the f*** up you mother f***ing fat *** b****."

Nooot even exaggerating. I was speechless, my jaw dropped and I wanted to say "f*** you!" but I only got the F word out before I started crying.

Squishy90
01-20-2011, 12:14 AM
Wow, people are horrible sometimes. o_o

I was teased and bullied aaaall throughout elementary and middle school because i was basically one of the only fat girls. Not only was I being picked on at school, I was also being called names at home by my brother and dad. My brother has always been such a butt to me all my life. We have a treadmill in the basement and I run on it everyday, but he always finds some way to discourage me. Sometimes he's like ''why are you exersizing? you know you'll never lose weight'' and it makes me so sad. :(
My father has been pretty hurtful starting recently. One time at like 1am he caught me in the kitchen (yes i was trying to sneak a little snack :P) and he started yelling at me like ''look at you, you're disgusting! don't you ever want to get married?!'' and I just ran to my room and cried. How can a father say that to his kid? O_o

One time in summer camp when i was like 8, a girl was sitting next to me and gave me candy. Then she whispered something to her friend and they both started giggling. I ignored them because I knew they were talking about my fatness. Then the girl that gave me candy was like ''you know why i gave you candy? so you'll get fatter'' ..kids are so evil sometimes.

SwimGirl
01-20-2011, 12:14 AM
Aleks - I was at Gordon Bell for 2 years and then my family moved to BC, I moved back to Winnipeg in my grade 12 years (I'd already graduated in BC) and upgraded at Daniel Mac. What school did you go to?

-Aimee

Katz
01-21-2011, 04:30 AM
When my dad mentions my weight, then my answer to my dad is: I am what you have made of me.
And we really are products of our childhood.
He's never mean though, I would just punch his beerbelly and ask him, and what is this??
The meanest to me have been kids, both when I was a kid and a grownup.

supergir111
01-21-2011, 06:49 AM
Always mean aunts with me. No other negative experiences even though I have been overweight most of my life.

One always taunted me from as young as I could remember, she would come around my house to visit and corner me and say mean things about being fat, I told my Mum but she always made excuses for her like saying 'oh she's just teasing, she doesn't mean it'.
Most recently my aunt (a different one) came to visit on boxing day, while I was back at home and proceeded to go on about how I am still fat, even while my uncle was exclaiming how I had lost weight.

I have always been too sensitive all my life, always hated that fact about myself. It has never been the hardest thing to make me cry with mean words maybe why my mum never took it seriously, she just thought I was being too sensitive again, but that boxing day I realised to my delight that I have actually developed one of those things I have always envied those stronger than me for...a thick skin meaning I didn't make my excuses to go off and have a cry :carrot: *karate chops aunt*

Poundsgetlost
01-22-2011, 06:59 AM
Probably "don't you want a boyfriend? Cause you have such a beautiful face, but you'll never get one if you don't lose weight."


My mother told me the same thing. Well, except for the beautiful face thing. I was sitting in my room and she just ran in shouting "you never do anything but sit here and get fatter and fatter. You'll never get a boyfriend. Don't you want one?".
Then she left but came in three minutes later shouting "everybody else has a boyfriend, you don't even have friends".
Yeah, I only had one good friend and I was sitting in my room all by myself very often waiting for time to go by until one day I'd finally be able to move out and have a life. I was 16 back then and I was chubby, really, not obese. I'm 22 now and I'm slim and still never had a boyfriend. I have many friends, I am going out a lot, I am happy. But no boyfriend. My mother seriously broke something there.
She's got issues, depression and beginning dementia.
I go home once a year for christmas. Sometimes I feel sad about how much she made me suffer. It was not my weight actually, that ruined my childhood and my teenage years but my mothers behavoir and the broken home. I would never dare invite anyone to my place because I was ashamed of my mothers behavoir and all the mess.

KatMarie
01-22-2011, 08:17 AM
While I was super morbidly obese, I got a lot of stares, pointing, snickers and the occasional mooing and oinking. I wouldn't dare eat in public or all of that just intensified. I eventually learned to tune everything and everybody out and walk around in my own protective bubble...I became very anti-social.

Ciao
01-22-2011, 08:33 AM
http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5286/5270505190_3f6c4a0d5a.jpg
My vicious, cold-hearted cousin
constantly tells me to go throw up.

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5161/5269916959_e986e6e58e.jpg

Patrizia
01-22-2011, 03:28 PM
It's sad that the majority of negativity comes from people's families... they should be the most supportive!

Everyone in my family is large, and I'm actually on the smaller-end of the group. My brother, however, has spent my entire life telling me I'm fat and I'll never have a boyfriend and clothes look terrible on me. I don't think any of it really helped my self-esteem...

The only single incident I can think of off the top of my head would have to be from high school... one of my best friends at the time was really into me and wanted us to date. Evidently he told his mother this and asked for advice, and her insightful answer was to "find another girl, she's way too fat for you anyway." To make matters worse, when he finally asked me out and I said no, his response was to tell me all about how his tiny mother thinks I'm too fat to date.

IslaAzure
01-22-2011, 11:40 PM
i have quite a few....but the worst has to be when me and my husband got engaged, his stepmother told me (i was 195 at the time and a size 14) that i would never find a wedding dress to fit me. wow.

2 days after i had my baby i was complaining about my c/s incision hurting and she said "why? you'll never wear a bikini". *****, i was in pain!

a week ago, i overheard my co-worker talking about me..."wow, that is a fat ***!"

I'm losing weight and i don't care if part of my motivation is to shove in these b***'s faces!

kaplods
01-23-2011, 01:21 AM
I don't know if it's the meanest, but it certainly felt like the biggest betrayal by my mother.

In kindergarten through 5th grade, I dreaded P.E. because not only did the (very fat) P.E. teacher make fun of me, he'd encourage the other kids to do it too.

I started getting sick on the days we'd have P.E. (tuesdays, thursdays, and fridays) and when I finally told me mother (in first or second grade at the latest), she went to talk to the teacher about it. When she got home, she told me that he had told her it was "for my own good" to motivate me into getting so angry that I'd decide I'd "show them."

My mom agreed with him, and I was crushed. Even at 6 or 7 I knew that shaming me didn't work, it only made me feel bad, and feeling bad always made me want to eat. I knew that at 7, and I couldn't believe that my mom didn't understand it. It was like she was telling me that fat kids deserved to get picked on. It also seemed that this was the point that she started being really mean to me about my weight, as if she thought the P.E.'s teacher's idea was so terrific that she had to jump on the be mean to Colleen bandwagon.

I had an even more evil P.E. teacher in junior high. I think the worst part was that those 9 years of torture in kindergarten through 8th grade made me fear/hate most physical activity (except swimming).

Lyn2007
01-23-2011, 01:29 PM
My ex-father-in-law told me, just a month or so after I lost a baby, that I was a "real fat***"... in front of all my other in laws and stepkids. I weighed all of 168 pounds.

And my ex husband showed my small kids a joke gift... a "diet spoon" (spoon with a hole in it) and told them they should get it for me.

Kristen81985
01-23-2011, 02:03 PM
One of my friends and I were talking about the upcoming summer and how we were all going to get together and go to the beach, and he asked what kind of bathing suit I wore. Before I even got to answer he said "you're one of those girls who TRIES to wear a bikini, aren't you?".
Ugh, I didn't even know what to say! Who asks that question anyway?? Geez.

But its comments like these that keep us all motivated I guess, we just all want to turn things around and throw it in their faces!! AND WE WILL!

morphomel
01-23-2011, 02:19 PM
Kaplods, I'm completely with you on PE classes. They are supposed to make kids want to be active and move around but all they did was nearly kill any desire I had for physical activity. They made me equate exercise with humiliation. Not good. Any time I had to run in class (mile, games, etc.) the other girls would just start laughing their heads off and the teachers never did a damned thing to stop it.

But, now I willingly take PE classes at university and I've yet to meet someone that horrible and mean spirited. It's nice.

theox
01-23-2011, 02:33 PM
I don't know if it's the meanest, but it certainly felt like the biggest betrayal by my mother.

In kindergarten through 5th grade, I dreaded P.E. because not only did the (very fat) P.E. teacher make fun of me, he'd encourage the other kids to do it too.

I started getting sick on the days we'd have P.E. (tuesdays, thursdays, and fridays) and when I finally told me mother (in first or second grade at the latest), she went to talk to the teacher about it. When she got home, she told me that he had told her it was "for my own good" to motivate me into getting so angry that I'd decide I'd "show them."

My mom agreed with him, and I was crushed. Even at 6 or 7 I knew that shaming me didn't work, it only made me feel bad, and feeling bad always made me want to eat. I knew that at 7, and I couldn't believe that my mom didn't understand it. It was like she was telling me that fat kids deserved to get picked on.

And people wonder why so many people who were ostracized as kids for any number of reasons commit suicide or grow up to have severe emotional or social problems. Not saying that you do, but what the heck do supposedly well-trained, caring, responsible adults think they're doing when they try to grind down a little kid like that?

Did your parents or your gym teachers (or anybody else) ever sit down with you and put together a positive, workable plan for you to eat well and get some activity? Or were you expected to come up with all that stuff yourself as a 7-year-old, and maybe drive yourself to the grocery store and pick out some fresh produce for your dinners, too?

That sort of stuff really burns me.

On the rare occasions that my parents try to nag me or put me down about my weight, I remind them that I've been overweight since about the time I started school, and that if they wanted to keep me from becoming overweight or staying overweight, the time to do it would have been when I was 6/8/10 years old and had no real input into what I was given to eat, and could easily have been signed up for kids' sports classes or teams or taken to a playground. But...whatever. Serving your oblivious, age-appropriately ignorant child over-large portions of meat- and carb- rich meals with soda, and moving to a place where there was almost nothing to do after school in the way of playing except ride up and down the street on my bike (in 80-90F weather, much of the year), and discouraging me from taking up sports I liked because "girls don't play ____" or because it was too expensive (dance) worked out really well. Now it's all my problem to deal with, and I tell them that if they want to help now, then they can help offset my WW or gym memberships, or subsidize my grocery bills. Which they tend to do, and they even let me live at home for a while to work on losing weight (worked well until one of them got very sick for a while), so I can't fault them there.

Whew.

Sorry about that.

Moving on.

ETA: They wouldn't have put up with a teacher verbally abusing me like that, though. That's just insane.

AZ Sunrises
01-23-2011, 04:34 PM
I guess I'm the oddball. The only thing that actually stuck with me enough to remember was a former lover who commented that I wasn't someone he'd get serious with because he preferred a different body type. I was hurt and pissed for awhile, but then I realized that I wouldn't have gotten serious with someone a decade older who had medication-caused erectile dysfunction.

:o I guess we were even on that one.

Laffalot
01-23-2011, 04:43 PM
To gamecockgirl: I'm so sorry that happened to you! What makes people say such mean things to "loved ones"? Good for you on talking back to him! He deserved every word you said. I'm sorry that you aren't in contact with those in your family but I think you are better off now. I've had mean things said to me by my mother dad, ex-husband & even so called friends but nothing like that. You hang in there girl - I'm right there with you!!

Laffalot
01-23-2011, 04:55 PM
Maybe these people that say "mean" things about us being fat, overweight, whatever thing they are helping or trying to motivate...........but it is just the opposite. I don't know if they don't realize that or what. And I do think that some do it just to be plain mean. Lets stick together & helpfully motivate each other...........I sure can use it. Have a lovely day everyone. It's finally sunny here (but cold & we have quite a bit of snow) - but the sun will make us feel good, eh?

soxmanyxemotions
01-23-2011, 05:56 PM
Firstly, I want you to all know that the people who say "You'll never get a boyfriend" or "You'll never get married" are full of it. I have been heavy since 6th grade and I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and 3 months so far. There is no way that those people are correct. I was 202 pounds when we got together and I am 245 pounds now and he still loves me, although he worries about my weight.

Secondly, I have gone through a lot of mean stuff in my life said to be due to my weight. One of the horrible ones was my freshman year of high school I had a huge crush on a guy and someone asked him how he felt about me and he said that "She's okay, but she looks like a fat dog to a point."
And my mom is always about it... She's big herself, bigger than me, but she's always been on my case. My sister has always been tinier. She was a size 3 from the time she hit puberty until she was about 16 then gained some weight and now shes losing it again. Well one day I asked my sister to borrow a sweater and my mom goes, "You won't fit into that. Your sister is way smaller than you ever wish to be." :[ It's sad to say, but I've gotten used to it.

crystal422
01-23-2011, 06:00 PM
Upon meeting my size 0 sister, an ex-boyfriend said: "Are you sure you guys have the same father? How can she be so thin and perfect and you look like, well...that?"

I had the same thing happen to me. About 2 years ago I was at my parents house for a laua and one of my stepdads friends said to my mom "So do all 3 of your girls have the same dad? My mom said yes, he said well it dosent look like it cuz she is bigger than the other two. I ran in the house crying he followed me inside and told me he doesnt sugar coat anything and he has a sister that is fat as well and he tells her. Then to make things worse my mom for some reason goes outside and tells everyone what he said to me to make me cry. It would have really bother me more if I was not married to an amazing husband with a amazing little boy.

soxmanyxemotions
01-23-2011, 06:09 PM
I had the same thing happen to me. About 2 years ago I was at my parents house for a laua and one of my stepdads friends said to my mom "So do all 3 of your girls have the same dad? My mom said yes, he said well it dosent look like it cuz she is bigger than the other two. I ran in the house crying he followed me inside and told me he doesnt sugar coat anything and he has a sister that is fat as well and he tells her. Then to make things worse my mom for some reason goes outside and tells everyone what he said to me to make me cry. It would have really bother me more if I was not married to an amazing husband with a amazing little boy.

I honestly must tell you that you are an amazing brave woman. :)

kaplods
01-24-2011, 12:17 AM
Did your parents or your gym teachers (or anybody else) ever sit down with you and put together a positive, workable plan for you to eat well and get some activity? Or were you expected to come up with all that stuff yourself as a 7-year-old, and maybe drive yourself to the grocery store and pick out some fresh produce for your dinners, too?


None of my teachers ever did, but my parents did the best they could. For the time period, they did fairly well. Our meals were always very healthy by the standards of the time. Way too high-carb (I would now say), but we always had a salad with every meal, usually two or more vegetables, and rarely had dessert. If we did have dessert, it was likely to be jello or fresh fruit.

I was the only person in the family ever to have a childhood weight problem (My brother and I are adopted, and not biologically related). In my teens my parents had two bio-kids and my sisters follow after my parents (one is naturally thin like Dad, and another like Mom started putting on weight in her hips in her late 20's). If I had shared their genes, I think I also would have been thin as a child. I just was hungry 24/7 and no one knew why. I entered puberty very early though (I believe I was 9), and from the start had a 21-23 day cycle with 7- 9 day periods with extremely severe cramping. I now suspect an endocrine or hormonal disorder, but my pediatritian didn't think it was severe enough to treat (besides he said that treatment was birth control pill which would likely cause weight gain - I would learn in my late 20's that bc actually helped me lose weight because it decreased pms hunger).

I joined WW with my mother, as soon as I was old enough to join (8 years old, I believe as long as you went with a parent and had a doctor's note).

My family ate pretty healthfully at the time, and they tried to get the whole family into bike riding together, but my mother was also very ashamed of being overweight and had all sorts of ideas about what fat girls shouldn't do. Mostly I think she was trying to protect me from being teased and made fun of. I built up a thick skin but my mom didn't.

She pulled me out of tennis lessons when the other kids made fun of me (even though I wanted to keep going. I could handle the teasing, but my mother couldn't). She wouldn't let me play on the monkey bars. I think she was afraid I'd get hurt, but what she told me was that I was too fat for the monkey bars. I drew the line at swimming. My mom almost never would go swimming because she was too embarassed, but I loved swimming with a passion, so I held my ground.

My parents consulted the "experts," but the experts just had a lot of terrible advice. I was told I could eat all snickers bars
as long as I ate less than 1,000 calories, and I was put on amphetemine diet pills in 8th grade.

I wouldn't learn until many, many years later that low-carb dieting and birth control pills would be the key to weight loss.

I don't know what they could have done differently to be honest (except in general to realize that rewards and praise work much better than punishment and criticism), because I was too young to be put on bc pills (at least in that era) and low-carb diets were considered not only unhealthy, but dangerous.

reptogirl
01-24-2011, 12:50 AM
my whole life really has been a mean story, i was an easy target, kids in school, places i work, my own father, random people on the street, and even my grandmother. i have wanted to try out for bl for years, but i won't, because i am scared of what people might say about me.

i am here now, never really had the support system, i went to ww when i was a kid, but they were all old, 3 other people live in this house none of which are on a diet, they should be, but they aren't, so temptations are all around, lol..

it makes me mad, mad that i let food have control over me, seriously..yeah it taste good. but so freaking what! addictions run in my family, and i guess food was mine. okay thats my whiny moment. like i said i am here now, just started my diet, and im hoping i can find a buddy on here that will help keep me in check :)

Call Me Stephanie
01-24-2011, 02:13 AM
My Grandmother used to sew my sister and I dresses when we were younger. Thus she's have to take a bunch of measurements of us. She would always comment on how FAT we were. I remember trying to suck in my stomach because I was so embarrassed (though of course that didn't really help the dress to fit haha) She didn't make dresses for us very long.

But this was the same woman who would feed us donuts as dinner, force us to finish everything on our plate, and push food on us when we said we weren't hungry. *eye roll*

MadameZombie
01-24-2011, 10:54 AM
I've never really had anything said to me from a stranger, my mother is the one that constantly would bring up my weight.

I went to see her after almost 5 years. She had lost me to foster care when I was about 15 and I had just turned 20. I was in college and decided to try and start a relationship with her again, I thought the wounds had healed sufficiently enough. When I got to her house and started unpacking my things she said "You look so good." I thanked her but then she went on to say, "You were looking really fat in that picture you sent from high school."

Suddenly I remembered why I hated her so much.

Emily
01-24-2011, 02:08 PM
When I was about 12, my family and I were at some kind school function, and my mom said to me, "That boy was checking you out just now, but he stopped right when he got to your stomach." She then proceeded to crack up laughing.

My whole family (parents and two brothers) all are or have been obese, but somehow, I am the only one that got made fun of within the family for being fat. My brothers called me "Oink Oink," and my parents would say, "We know it's dinner time whenever you come downstairs. You only ever leave your room to stuff your face." (Gee, I wonder why...)

At my highest weight, I was a bridesmaid in a wedding, and at the reception I wanted to dance, so I asked my brothers, who were standing among a bunch of friends from high school, if one of them would dance with me, and they were like, "NO! Oh my God!" Cue raucous laughter from my brothers and high school "friends."

RinaMarie
01-25-2011, 03:14 PM
Wow, I'm so sorry to hear all of the horrible things people have said to you! I've never had anyone say anything bad about me (that I could hear) but one of my bests friends told me once that he didn't believe in me regarding weight loss - that he didn't think I could do it. I know he didn't mean to hurt me, he was angry at HIMSELF about it, but it was the most hurtful thing in the world to hear that. For weeks I just kept thinking about how hopeless it all was and that if he didn't believe in me, how could I ever believe in myself. But I hit a turning point and now, rather than being upset by that comment, I'm using it to motivate me. Who is he - who is ANYONE - to say I can't do it? By God's help, I WILL do it! And no one will ever tell me I can't again.

The Chubster
01-25-2011, 03:34 PM
I was standing in front of a gaming store and one of the workers comes out and says... "You can't park your wide load here."

wvcountrygirl
01-26-2011, 07:11 PM
Well, I am one of my dad's three kids. My brother and sister are both grown in their 40's and not overwieght at all, the opposite. I think I'm kind of a disappointment. I'm in my senior year right now. I'm about 187 pounds and 5'7" tall. & a few months ago I was starting to show my dad my senior pictures that I just got back. & his exact words were " what, you couldn't have sucked it in" . I still to this day haven't shown him the rest of them. ): That's not the only thing he's ever said to put me down about my weight, but not something I'll forget about.

kiki100
01-26-2011, 07:57 PM
At a wedding on my husband's side we were going through the recieving line and to be polite I said the usual "you look lovely" to the mother of the bride. She replied "see what nice things you can buy when you lose weight?" I was so embarrassed.

In high school I when my mom and I were shopping I told her I was hungry. In front of everyone she told me to "just live off the land". Mortified.

My brother was getting married and I was in the wedding party. All the other girls were thin except me and my SIL to be told me that my dress was going to be $100 more because they had to use more fabric to make it. She also so generously offered to pay the difference. I was so angry! I thought if she was really trying to be kind...why not just pay the difference and not mention it. That hurt.

Unfortunately no matter how much weight I lose I think I will always have that fat girl inside of me. That kind of hurt goes pretty deep. It seems so many of us have had some heartbreaking experiences and now all we can do is find the positives in it. These experiences did mold me into the type of person I am and they way I treat people. Remembering them only helps make my determination stronger.

RienQueNny
01-26-2011, 08:53 PM
Wow I'm reading through these stories, my heart goes out to each and everyone of you. How sad is it that there are that many a**holes in the world?

As for myself, I tried to think, but I can even figure out what THE meanest thing I've ever heard was. I was a slim kid until puberty hit me (at the ripe age of 10, yay), and it never stopped after that. I was harassed every single day, in and out of school. Most comments I can't even write down because they'll look like this: ***** fat *** you *** ugly **** gigantic ***** and so on.

I was known as "the ugliest girl in school" or "big fat Rob" (Rob being my last name), by most boys that were in grades above mine, all through high school. I had food thrown at me, pennies thrown at me, and of course mean words thrown at me every single day, in school, and out, at the grocery store or at the drugstore or in a park with my family, anywhere. I got physically assaulted in hallways, pushed in lockers and down flights of stairs, had my books ripped out of my hands and thrown in the garbage, you name it. I was a radio DJ and people used to come to my booth and wait for me to come out after lunch to push me around and call me a fat loser who would have to hide in a dark room(referring to the radio booth) all my life to save society from subjecting themselves to my awful appearance (said in much meaner, offensive words).

This is sad. I have been so abused and harassed over my appearance most my life that now it's all I think when I go out, and before I go out. Every time I walk by someone in the street I always expect them to yell something rude at me, because that's how it's always been. When I hear people laughing or giggling, I always assume they're laughing at me, because that's what it always was. It has made me paranoid when I go out in public. Not to the point where I don't go out. But to the point where I NEVER go out without my iPod if I'm by myself, just because I can't hear people around me therefore even if they say something I won't hear it. I'm too scared to have insults thrown at me again.

DixC Chix
01-26-2011, 09:03 PM
Three stories off the top of my head:

At a bar with co-workers, a woman asked me if I had lost weight and I said "yes, about 25#" (I was a fit 140#). The woman next to her said "really, you lost 25#...let me look at you, turn around". So I did and then when my backside was toward her she said "I found it, its right back here"! She said it loud enough for the large crowd of co-workers to hear and they all laughed. I turned eight shades of red. I didn't know what to say or how to respond. She never apologized.

A couple of years ago, I was invited by a then friend to go on a long weekend trip with her friend and friend's adult daughter. I was at my highest (298) as I was still raw from my divorce. I thought it was nice that they wanted to cheer me up. They b!tched all weekend that I was so slow and holding them back, ruining the getaway and they would walk 50 ft a head of me. (They were all pretty physically fit and me, well...I wasn't.) I felt horrible. Come to find out, another friend had backed out and I was asked only to keep the cost down. Yes, I overheard them complaining about my fat *** and that they would have rather paid the extra. You should have seen the look on their faces when I caught them in their conversation. They never apologized.

Recently, my sister just had to tell me about her water aerobics class and commented that there was a fat lady in class, a really huge woman, a really, really huge woman and when she moved through the water she created a wake, a really big wake, a really, really big wake. I was just shaking my head like, "come on... you are not really saying that TO ME!!!" She kept laughing and I kept not laughing just shaking my head. Then I said, "I am that fat lady in the water aerobics class and I will never find that story funny". She never apologized.

Casey4213
01-26-2011, 09:56 PM
The meanest thing that was said to me about my weight was my mom. She said "At least you are not the pretty girl in high school." My mom was a cheerleader in high school, and I am a complete nerd. (Seriously, I took Calculus sophomore year.) I guess she didn't really know what she was saying, but it was still hurtful.

Anne333
01-27-2011, 03:26 AM
A strange old lady asked if I was pregnant at age seven. And she insisted on it.

shannonmb
01-27-2011, 09:19 AM
I just started reading this thread today, because I knew it was going to pi$$ me off and make me sad. I'm only halfway through and I'm going to have to finish it later because I feel like screaming and crying right now.

WTF is with ANY of these jerkoffs thinking that there is something so superior about them that makes any of this remotely okay?! What a bunch of absolutely horrible human beings you have all encountered (and I of course have my own). JEEZ! :hug:

theox
01-27-2011, 10:56 PM
kaplods:

I'm really glad you got support from your family, and that you've found something that's worked well for you. The negative reinforcement (especially for kids) is what really gets me.

jackiedavis87
01-27-2011, 11:28 PM
i feel so horrible. i'm reading these post and trying not to cry i feel so fortunate. i have never had a friend or familiy member ever say anything mean to me. as a matter of fact everytime i tell them i'm going on a diet they tell me that they belive i'll succeed and i can tell thier sincere. some of you are breaking my hearts i just want to call some of your parents and have a "heart to heart" nobody should ever be treated the way some of you have. what is wrong with the world when even the people your suppose to count on are A****. so i would just like to let you ladies know that yal are the reason i'm loseing weight. yal inspire me to be a better healthier me. and you should all be over the top proud of yourselfs for even attempting to make your selves happy. becuase god know there are some skinny geourgous people out there that are completly miserable and complete B*****. So way to go Us! becuase we;re changing our lives for the better!

Shrinkmfs
02-03-2011, 01:10 PM
One of the meanest things anyone ever said to me was when i was on a date. This man ( a real idiot) looked at me and said"I can have you a mean thin running machine in a few months."I looked at him and I said"is my weight a problem for you?"-he replied" Anyone can look in the mirror and see u are fat", The great news-I am alot thinner-and this morning in spinning class, there he was -he saw me and looked shocked! The Karma bus came and I loved it.
And the nicest thing ever-when my hubby married me I had gained alot of weight. I said to him"Do you love me less because I gained weight" and he said"Love is not a number on the scale -its a feeling in your heart."

DvineRbcc
02-04-2011, 10:22 AM
wow...i suppose i always knew i wasn't the only person to experience hurt at the hands of others, but some of these stories are just heart wrenching...

as for me, well, i guess in my day to day life one of the most hurtful things is when someone seems to see "through" me, as if i am invisible..
example: once a seating hostess at a resteraunt seated EVERYONE else that was waiting including several parties that came in after me, all the while acting as if she couldn't see me standing there. meanwhile, my party was already inside and waiting for me...

ironically, two of my most hurtful/harmful incidents both revolve around costumes and the third...well...that is a whole other situation

1) kindergarten. yes, i was five years old. was i a chubby kid? definitely not! but never believed it after this...
our kindergarten play was about the circus and one of the leads was the f** lady (f** is a bad word in my book)...now to be fair, this lead had the most singing solos, and i was the only one in my class that had been singing on stage since about age three (no kidding) and im sure for the adults this was the reason I was given the role...but my classmates did not see it that way. "f** lady" was my name from then on.
as if that wasn't bad enough, my mom is a frugal soul and she decided that the costume made a good night gown for me...which fit me clear into highschool...and was always referred to as my "f** lady gown"
sometimes i wonder if at least some of my weight issues are really part of a subconcious belief formed at such a young age..

2) Highschool. again with the costume...we were doing South Pacific for our spring musical. i was asked to play multiple support roles as a native girl....one of which was the lead singer/dancer for the song "Bali'Hai"...for any that don't know..this is a song about a special island and is performed with a traditional polynesian dance...the waving hips and fluid arms type..
i didnt mind really, because i got to spend several months learning true polynesian dance and loved! but this stage in my life i was VERY self-concicous about my weight (a whopping muscular 150, i was very active and fit!) but i wasn't skinny...when i went to be fitted for the costume i was mortified...a small bikini style top, stringy thing...and a "wrap" that was a triangle shape...about 12 inches high and meant to be tied around my waist....and the ONLY thing i was allowed to wear underneath were nude panty hose...because anything else would have shown
this time it was my father that was hurtful...he asked me daily if i was "really going to show the world my jiggly parts?"...that hurt so badly...i was already so afraid of getting on stage in that thing....when all was said and done, i was so stressed about it because of his badgering that opening night i froze on stage...the one and only time that has EVER happened to me! *sigh*

...needless to say, i have a fear of costumes now that is borderline pathelogical...

and last but not least 3) my future MIL...i was at about 200 when we met and now im 10 down from 300...in the ten years we have known each other she has ALWAYS done the same thing when we see them for dinner...
when i walk in the door..."Oh, i hope i made enough food!"...the implication being i must eat HUGE amounts..and at dinner she always is so kind to remind everyone to give me anything they can't finish...and for the finale, after dinner she always tries to get me to eat whats left....always telling me that she is worried i am still hungry...
the sad part is that she doesn't realize...i actually do not fight overeating...i fight starving myself and then binging....so at a meal i dont eat large amounts...
anyway...those are my biggies...

Becky

ParadiseFalls
02-04-2011, 12:56 PM
Becky, your mother-law-sounds like a truly miserable person. I'd feel sorry for her if I weren't so disgusted!

And that kindergarten play...I'm cringing over here. I can't believe teachers would be so naive to think casting a little kid as the fat lady wouldn't lead to torture from peers! Yikes.

As for your dad...I bet he was just nervous about his daughter looking all sexy on stage and wanted to try to get you to back out of it :)

KellyMarie90
02-04-2011, 01:07 PM
I've had a lot of hurtful comments said to me regarding my weight, and I never did anything about it because I've always been sensitive but that wasnt an excuse for all the people that hurt me.
The last mean comment I got before starting my weight loss journey really hurt me, and was part of the reason I decided that this time was it, I was really losing weight. I know that a weight loss journey and lifestyle change should be for yourself, and it was but I couldnt get this comment out of my head.
A so called friend (who was at the time drunk and later apologized) said "No guy will want to be with you if you look like that.."

MiZTaCCen
02-04-2011, 01:41 PM
I saw this and I thought I could relate to it even though I don't need to lose 100 pounds only 40 the most. But when I lived out west I gained all this weight (40 pounds) and after my horrible breakup I moved back home to deal with ****. My mom said to me "Holy **** how could you let yourself go and get so fat?" I was around 180 at the time and my sister who gained alot of weight my mother would never say anything like that to her, but she'd ***** about it to me...but tell me to my face how fat I was. Then I told her I lost 7 pounds in the month of jan (because I moved back out west) and she was like well I hope your doing it safely...It's like you have the nerve to tell me I'm a fat *** when I'm big and now that I'm droping weight question if I'm being smart about it? Totally pissed me off. So when she asks me how my weight loss is going I get annoyed, but ever since I said I joined a gym she doesn't question it anymore.

raebeaR
02-04-2011, 02:18 PM
My last boyfriend was a stunning good looker. One whose face and body turned heads. I don't think he was initially attracted to me, but due to circumstances, we had a lot of time to get to know each other well and it gradually turned into love. He pursued me -- not the other way around, and I was at my highest weight. No one was more surprised and shocked than me.

One of my dearest 'friends' said, "Oh, must be a chubby-chaser."

That hurt.

We broke up recently, but it had nothing to do with my weight.

JustSharing83
02-04-2011, 02:52 PM
I shared some of my worst comments in an older thread, but I have another I've never shared.

I was at Subway and ordered a 6 inch sandwich meal. At the end, I decided to add cookies and started picking them out when an older lady I didn't know started yelling from the other side of the restaurant, "NO! DON'T GET THE COOKIES! YOU DON'T NEED THOSE!!!" I was mortified, so I lied and said that the cookies were for my grandma who was in the hospital. I didn't need to lie or explain myself to that woman, but I was too shocked to really think it through.

Emme
02-04-2011, 03:01 PM
I shared some of my worst comments in an older thread, but I have another I've never shared.

I was at Subway and ordered a 6 inch sandwich meal. At the end, I decided to add cookies and started picking them out when an older lady I didn't know started yelling from the other side of the restaurant, "NO! DON'T GET THE COOKIES! YOU DON'T NEED THOSE!!!" I was mortified, so I lied and said that the cookies were for my grandma who was in the hospital. I didn't need to lie or explain myself to that woman, but I was too shocked to really think it through.

OMG, I would have thrown the cookies at her.

Laffalot
02-04-2011, 03:02 PM
I still don't understand how people can be so hurtful. I'd like to think they are trying to be motivating.........but I'm not so sure about that. I was a chubby kid, skinny teen & then in my 40's when the weight came back & I've been fighting it ever since. I'm 72 now. But I can remember my parents saying mean things - about how I should be the one mowing the lawn, about my sister being skinny & what was wrong with me.......laughing at my "ski slope" butt, 4 axe handle wide butt, etc etc......ex-husband making fun of me & so on. Obviously these remarks stay with us & can be defeating. So I'm struggling yet again but I'm hoping with a different attitude - that I want to be healthy & not focus only on the pounds. I'm so glad that I found 3fatchicks & I'm learning I'm not the only one. So maybe we can "forgive".......I don't know. Anyway lets keep on keeping on & doing this for ourselves! TTYL. :)

AZ Sunrises
02-04-2011, 04:10 PM
I guess I'm the oddball. The only thing that actually stuck with me enough to remember was a former lover who commented that I wasn't someone he'd get serious with because he preferred a different body type. I was hurt and pissed for awhile, but then I realized that I wouldn't have gotten serious with someone a decade older who had medication-caused erectile dysfunction.

:o I guess we were even on that one.


:D My, my, my...how life comes full circle.

A certain someone is attempting to re-establish communication with me. I'm 15 lbs thinner than I was the last time he saw me. He's living in CA...so I wouldn't mind seeing him 6-8 months from now. :angel: :devil:

I just discovered new-found motivation.

skinnymrs
02-04-2011, 07:12 PM
I'm going to have to go back and read some of the pages I skipped over. People suck.

When I was in college I got down to 150 pounds and thought I looked awesome in my size 10 white jeans (it was the 90's). At a party I waited outside an apartment bathroom door. Two guys got in line behind me (drunk) and started saying, "Wow, what a fat cow. Get a load of that fat ***." That kind of stuff. I faced forward and tried to pretend that I didn't know they were talking about me. I rushed past them when I finished.

A total byotch florist in our office complex kept parking her delivery vans in my assigned parking space. (That of course did not belong to her unit but that happened to be close to her door.) After a couple of days of this I confronted her. She chased me out of her shop calling me a fat *****. I didn't know at that time that my weight was still that "noticeable".

I just had my first baby, in September. Somehow I ended the pregnancy at 244, 35 pounds below my pre-prego weight. My gorgeous cousin asked me if I knew someone who could speak at her kids' school about social media. (I am an expert in it and I've spoken and written on it.) I told her I could and she answered, "Oh of course I could, too. [No training in it.] But also, you know, kids can be so cruel at that age." [You know, since you're so fat.]

hellooMcFLY
02-04-2011, 09:53 PM
people are such a**holes. Middle school was the worst part of my bullying. I was one of the biggest girls in my school. My bestfriends boyfriend used to pick on me all the time.(not in a friendly way) I ended up shoving him into a locker and threating to sit on him (sarcastic humor)if he didnt leave me alone. Needless to say he warmed up to me pretty fast. In highschool one guy tried to pick on me all 4 years. He wasnt very bright and he himself was bigger and he looked like a bulldog, i think my most favorite insult was ''krusty'' as in the clown on the simpsons. I had fluffy hair....yeah. Ive had worse i just choose not to remember them.

Runic
02-05-2011, 02:13 PM
*Hugs* to everyone here. People can be really awful and some how they think they're being helpful.

1. Speaking of "being helpful" I find that random people like to give me completely unsolicited weight loss advice. There was a woman who worked at a 7/11 who after hearing some of her coworkers laugh at me thought she would be encouraging instead. But what she said to me was almost worse than the laughing. She said something like "don't get fat for your boyfriend" as if he were fattening me up for fun or something. Then she told me to turn off the air conditioning when I work out because I really need to sweat more. Um... sweating doesn't make you lose weight unless you're sweating because the workout is hard, not because it's too hot. How ignorant.

2. I also had a friend of mine in high school say some pretty careless things. He was very skinny and would say things like "You'd be really hot if you lost weight." and "Don't you ever get embarrassed to go to the beach?" But the thing that bothered me the most, I told him that I was bisexual and he said I should be a lesbian because girls are less shallow than guys and I'd have a better chance dating girls. And the stupid part is I think I kind of believed him. Of course years later he didn't remember saying any of it and he apologized a lot. We also hooked up and I was even heavier than I was when we were in high school, so that's kind of fun. Lol

3. Of course I have heard just random comments, especially when I'm buying food. I've walked out of Wawa (where my Jersey girls at?) with food for me and 2 other people and have had people just say, "Daaaaamn girl. You don't need all that food."

4. And of course, my name is Jenni, so growing up a LOT of kids saying "1-800-95-Jenny" from the Jenny Craig commercials. I actually punched a kid in the face in front of my teacher and didn't get in trouble in 5th grade. My teacher told me not to do it ever again and lectured the whole class on bullying and how the kid deserved it. She was overweight as a kid and had sympathy for me. I still feel good about punching that kid and wish I could punch more jerks in the face and get away with it.

5. Bleh, and I hate to bring this up because I love my brother and he's never been anything but encouraging to me as an adult but when we were kids he was pretty mean to me and it stuck with me. I remember losing weight when I was 8 or 9 and everyone was complimenting me... even my big brother... which at first was really great, but of course he ruined it. "Wow! You lost a ton! Too bad you have another ton to go!" And as you can imagine, I wasn't THAT fracking fat as a kid.

ChicknThief
05-09-2012, 03:41 PM
Oh I've got a bunch of these.

There are two that really stick out, and both came from my father.

I was in my early teens and walking around my dad's office eating a cup-o'-noodles for lunch. My dad came out and said something to the effect of "You are embarassing me, stop eating like a freaking pig"

The other one happened right before I lost a bunch of weight the first time. We were at my grandparents for a family dinner and they were talking about sending leftovers home with us. My dad looked at me and "Better not. Jessica already eats everything in the house". I didn't even weigh that much at that time either. To this day I still feel uncomfortable eating even a salad in front of my dad.

1spunkygal
09-14-2012, 07:15 PM
#1= Ohhhhhhhh my your face is getting soooooo FAT ! (from a pencil thin lady @ church that had NO CLASS)


#2 = crowd of friends
stupid guy = Hey ! arent you D's sister ?
Me = Yes
stupid guy= Didn't you use to be REALLLLLLLLLLLL FAT ? I had lost about 80lbs



http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/tulip-bar/bee01/lb/225/125/201/.png (http://www.3fatchicks.com/)

thistoo
09-14-2012, 07:28 PM
My dad turned to me and said, in all seriousness, "Don't count on getting married."

I had a similar experience with my dad. It was about a year after my sister got married when I decided to go to grad school, and my dad asked if, instead of taking out loans, I wanted him to pay my tuition, since it would cost about the same as my sister's wedding, and it wasn't like I was going to get married. He meant it exactly the way your dad did, and man, did that ever hurt.

Of course I took the money, because if I ever do feel like getting married, I will pay for it myself, thanks. But I won't ever forget that my dad considers me unlovable.

1spunkygal
09-14-2012, 07:48 PM
I was head over heels in love with a with the most physically beautiful man I'd ever seen. To be honest, I still love him and am hurting over the loss of the dreams I had. I should have listened and ran for the hills when he said to me "yes baby, I do love you, but what are people going to think? They are going to say why is someone that looks like me in love with someone that looks like you". Makes me cry even now.:cry: This is really just the tip of the iceberg of his cruelty. Dealing with this relationship is why I dissapeared from this board for a year.
So everyday I tell myself, I have value, I deserve to be treated better, and I don't need food to make myself feel better.

he doesn't deserve YOU :hug:

ubergirl
09-14-2012, 09:00 PM
It is heartbreaking to hear all of these stories! Here is a sampling of mine.

When I was in fifth grade, my mom told me that I needed to watch out because I was "the fattest girl in the class". (as far as I can tell from pictures, I was totally normal looking.) Well, all of the girls in my class were skinny except one girl who was pretty chubby. So I said, "no I'm not, what about Betty Anne?" My mom said, "she doesn't count." As if, Betty Anne, who was actually overweight, was so far gone that she was beyond hope.

I remember once, when I was in my early twenties-- I'd always been relatively healthy weight but struggling with an extra ten to fifteen pounds, then I got really thin for a while. My mom said, "now you look so good I could take you down to your father's office and introduce you to some of the young men he works with." And, I suddenly realized that with the extra ten to fifteen pounds, apparently I wasn't fit to be introduced to anyone.

Again, mom. (whom I love dearly, but she just can't keep her mouth shut.) When we had been doing a lot of long walks together, my mom sees a neighbor and says "oh, we're going to walk 6 miles today," and the neighbor says "I didn't realize uber could walk that far." (and, needless to say, the neighbor didn't say it me, and mom should have had the good sense not to repeat it.)

I have to say that most of the truly hurtful comments have come during thin moments, when people try to say something nice about how good I look, it often seems to come out as a slam about the way I looked before-- or at least, that's often how it feels, like when guys used to use the following pick-up line "I never really noticed you before, but now that you've lost some weight, I suddenly noticed that you're totally hot..." sigh. My DH NEVER comments on my weight one way or another and always says I look good.

VenomousPiano
10-15-2012, 04:14 PM
When I was in first grade, I was bullied a lot for how I looked and for my weight. Then, one day in P.E. class, a boy pushed me down and broke my arm. All the kids stood around me, laughed, and pointed at me while I cried.
I still haven't completely gotten over it.

I was also called fatty, blimp girl, and land whale.
And that was all just in elementary school.
The worst offenders were the skinny girls at my school that constantly put down anyone bigger than them.

Every time I told the teachers, they laughed me off.
They treated me as badly as the kids did.

VermontMom
10-15-2012, 05:07 PM
such sad stories!!! :hug: to all of you who have come through.

Several years ago my husband (boyfriend at the time) and I were hanging out with his friend and his girlfriend. This was my first time meeting either of them so I was already a little nervous. We went out for drinks and then back to their house to watch a movie. After the movie, the girlfriend asked my husband if he was going to marry me since he "knocked me up". My husband glared back at her and said, "She's not pregnant." She just said, "Oh". And I kid you not about 20 minutes later she asked him, "Are you sure she's not pregnant, she's really big?". My husband is a VERY patient and loving person who NEVER gets angry but he had had enough. He took his friend aside and they talked for a few minutes and then he said, "Get your coat, let's get the h*** outta here." He was so mad that his friend had said nothing to his girlfriend about the rude comments that they still don't speak.

I am SO glad he stuck up for you!!

Also loving the Slurpee throwing incident :carrot:

I was the only chubby girl in my class during 3rd, 4th, 5th, and even 6th grade (there weren't as many overweight kids in the late 60's / early 70's) and the usual "she's fat" and the mean comments about how I looked in my gym suit (OH the hated one piece polyester gym suits). I had thick glasses, unattractive haircuts and homemade clothes. I got made fun of alot.

But I remember the mean comments from my own sister the most, I was 'tubby' or 'fatty' or 'a whale' when we were swimming. She was very thin but not very smart, she was held back in 6th grade and that was my only 'ammunition' against her. I do remember her saying 'at least I'm not fat'.

She has had bad times as an adult with alcoholism, has been in a psychiatric ward for attempted suicide, has driven off 2 boyfriends who had even proposed to her, and now has to work 2 jobs and take in a strange boarder in her house to just live.
I have been happily married for over 30 years, have 2 awesome sons, can do a hard workout at age 51, am respected for my work skills (pastry baker), live to ride my motorcycle, and have been crowned at a rally for being an ahem, biker queen :D I console myself thinking that my sister's bad behavior came to bite her on the butt.

But I still have a hard time eating a meal in front of anyone other than my husband and sons.

runthecontinent
10-15-2012, 05:13 PM
I had a similar experience with my dad. It was about a year after my sister got married when I decided to go to grad school, and my dad asked if, instead of taking out loans, I wanted him to pay my tuition, since it would cost about the same as my sister's wedding, and it wasn't like I was going to get married. He meant it exactly the way your dad did, and man, did that ever hurt.

Of course I took the money, because if I ever do feel like getting married, I will pay for it myself, thanks. But I won't ever forget that my dad considers me unlovable.

Parents can be so terrible. My dad always left me alone but my mother was the worst. For example, for my 14th birthday, she gave me a coupon to get a breast reduction that she had made herself. She meant it. I guess you could assume that she meant well in some twisted way though. But most of the time she really didn't. She would constantly comment on how fat I was. I specifically remember one time when we were just sitting on the couch one evening, I can't have been any older than 14 or 15, she and first said to my younger sister how pretty she was, and then told me: "you have to realise you'll never get a boyfriend. boys don't like fat girls."

I was 165 lbs at my very heaviest. I was very happy to discover later that the rest of the world was not as shallow as my mother and although I am not as popular as my skinny, confident friends, some pretty great guys have noticed me anyway!

LebenAlles
10-15-2012, 05:29 PM
One of the most hurtful things I can remember was about 5 years ago, right after I'd lost 50lbs and was down to 214....I was doing really awesome and someone just HAD to come and knock my pride right out from under me. I still see this as the turning point for gaining the weight I had lost back (plus some).
I was sitting outside at a Starbucks with a (former)friend when a stupid guy in a big truck at the redlight takes the effort to yell out of his truck "I hope that's a fat free coffee, because I can see that roll of fat you have from over here. Don't think you're hiding it". I mean seriously...he went that far out of his way to bully someone. I tried to ignore him so as not to give him the satisfaction..but it didnt help that my friend looked embarassed to be sitting with me at that moment and didn't say a word. A few minutes later the friend said he had a 'work emergency' and had to leave. So he left me crying against the wall of the starbucks.

I don't know what hurt worse...what the guy said or how unsupportive my so- called friend was. Both took incredible blows to my self-esteem. Needless to say, we're not friends anymore...though unfortunately it took me 3 more years until I realized that I was better off without him in my life.

Beck
10-15-2012, 06:40 PM
I've been pretty fortunate to not have had too many direct comments about my weight, but one that hurt very badly came from my mother, who has been overweight for as long as I've known her. She commented that when I walked my rear-end looked like a sack with a bunch of fighting cats in it. Honestly, I'm sure it did, but to hear it come out of the mouth of your mother- it hurt. It also hurt when I got down to goal and she commented that I look gaunt. She has also complemented me on my hard work and dedication, but those comments really stick.

((((Hugs))) to everyone who's had to endure harsh words and meanness. We're all much stronger than those who hurt us.

Elladorine
10-15-2012, 08:20 PM
When I was 12 I was suddenly asthmatic and became allergic to just about everything overnight, including my beloved housecat that had to be "converted" to an outdoor cat (my dad's answer to my allergies wasn't shots or medication, but to kick the cat out and throw out all my stuffed animals). :( I was put on steroids and developed what my mom referred to as a "moon face" since I went from normal to fat practically overnight. I was in and out of the hospital a lot, was no longer allowed to participate in gym class or even use the school stairs, and I imagine I ate a lot to find comfort (I recall that I liked to sneak candy), so it all added up. I literally lost all my friends that year, including my very best friend since kindergarten as she was too embarrassed to be seen with me. Kids can be so mean; I still don't think I've ever quite recovered from any of the misery I was subjected to all throughout junior high, including the relationship I'd had with that old best friend.

I recall kids grabbing my notebooks to play "keep away" as soon as the teacher left the room so they could read my class journal (for the teacher's eyes only) out loud.

I remember catching up to the kids jogging in gym class, and they were like, "uh-oh, can't let the fat girl catch up with us" and they'd bolt on ahead of me.

A girl in my class once asked if I was a virgin, hoping I didn't know what it meant and that I'd say no. And when I surprised her with a yes, she said, "Oh, of course! You're too fat for a boyfriend."

Once when I was getting my X-ray taken at the hospital, the technician looked me over and asked if I was pregnant. I told him no. He looked down at my tummy and asked me several times if I was sure, and I told him I was quite sure. He then said, "Well, let's put this lead apron on you just in case." I was 12 and would remain a virgin for many years.

When our yearbooks arrived for 6th grade, all of the students gathered into another classroom to sign and write notes in them. I didn't bother getting up from my seat. When my teacher saw I wasn't budging, he said, "Well hey, don't you want to get your yearbook signed?" I told him I already knew that nobody would want to. He tilted his head for a moment, then nodded in agreement before going back to whatever he was doing at his desk.

Once another classmate and I were doing some work in our home ec. class when some girls from lunch came in to grab their salad dressing. On their way out, they looked us up and down, saying, "Oh, we take care of our bodies, unlike some other people!" The other classmate was probably about my size and we were both fuming.

We got our class rings our freshman year so we could enjoy wearing them all throughout high school. When they arrived everyone was excitedly showing theirs off. When a friend (yes, finally made a few friends after the nightmare of junior high) was looking at mine, she couldn't believe how big it was and went on and on about how fat my fingers were (ring finger was a size 10 at the time).

I lost a lot of weight when I was 20, and for the first time felt "thin" since before all the crazy weight gain in junior high and high school. And then I overheard my family discussing dinner plans while we were visiting my grandma. When fish was brought up by my very favorite uncle, my mom said that was out since I had a seafood allergy. He laughed hysterically, stating that I could certainly stand to miss a few meals. Totally broke my heart. :(

I didn't date once until I was 25. Not much else to say there except that once one of my male friends dropped by my house (and yes, I had a crush on him) and it was probably the closest I ever came to going on a date with anyone back then. My mom thought the guy liked me and was asking me to go somewhere, so she was quick to tell him I wasn't doing anything and was available to do whatever he was asking me. Uh . . . the reason he was there? He needed someone to cover his shift so he could go on a date with one of my friends. :(

My group of friends from my old work and I were pretty tight and would hang out a lot. I was pretty much one of the guys, which was made all the more obvious when they'd act completely different on the rare occasion a certain girl would show up at our parties. They'd fall all over each other for her and talk about how hot and pretty she was when she was gone. Apparently I wasn't date-able material. The worst part of it was that I was head-over-heels in love with one of the guys (found out later it wasn't exactly a secret like I'd thought), and the girl in question was an ex he still occasionally hooked up with for a booty call.

When my first boyfriend and I were having bedroom issues and I tried to discuss it with him in a rational manner, he got angry with me and said it was all my fault he no longer found me attractive (this was the first he'd ever said of this) since I'd "let myself go" and had "gotten fat." Uh, this was said after he'd watched me lose 80 pounds and had gained quite a bit himself. We have mutual friends on Facebook so I see him pop up every so often . . . is it wrong that I gloat about how bad off that jerk is now? :p

1spunkygal
10-15-2012, 08:53 PM
We have mutual friends on Facebook so I see him pop up every so often . . . is it wrong that I gloat about how bad off that jerk is now? :p



:hug: I say good for you !

linJber
10-15-2012, 09:07 PM
All I can say is my heart is breaking. There's something to be said for being old, I guess. No one ever commented - in my hearing - about my weight. Hugs to all of you. Good for you for hanging in there. Life is about acceptance, not how much we weigh.

Lin

Steph7409
10-15-2012, 09:14 PM
These stories are both heartbreaking and infuriating. Being overweight isn't a crime, it isn't immoral, it doesn't make you worthy of scorn and condemnation. AARRGGH.

My mother was brutal to me about my weight when I was young. She died when I was 20, and that's the first time I lost weight (over 100 pounds). It was a big f*** you to her for making me feel worthless and unlovable. She had done such a good job at that, though, that I eventually gained it all back on and off over the next 30 years.

My most searing memory of public humiliation is from my junior year in high school - almost 40 years ago. A small group of kids from my school visited a nearby school (something to do with student government, I think) and were introduced at an assembly. Many people in the audience laughed and hooted when I stood up. I wanted to die.

MrsTryingAgain
10-16-2012, 01:29 AM
I honestly can't remember things directly said to me about my weight. Yes, my mom has mentioned it, but it was not in a mean way it was in concern. It hurt at times, but in the end I knew she was right.

For me the most hurtful thing I ever had said to me was about my appearance in general & it was from my eldest sister. Fact is, before I stopped talking to her, she said it nearly every time I saw her. What she said was, "You were so cute as a baby, what the **** happened?" I could be in shape, nails/hair & make-up done & dressed nicely *BAM!* hit with this slam.

*Note: This is NOT why I haven't spoken to her in over 12 yrs. I haven't spoken to her cause she said I banned her from Daddy's funeral & said all kinds of mean cr@p about & to her. Oh, well.... Will she be at Mom's funeral? Doubt it.*

olleharr
10-16-2012, 07:37 AM
I had an uncle who was 5 years older than me and through my whole childhood he called me fat and many other hurtful names just for fun. I look back on pictures of myself and I really wasn't fat at all. Those names stay with a person though and sometimes haunt me when I look in a mirror. He grew up to be a nicer person but man, he was a rotten kid!

going2bskinny
10-16-2012, 08:07 AM
wow all these stories are really sad I feel so bad for you all people can be just horrible.

My whole family and everyone around me has always been very very cruel about my weight but I think (if i have to choose only one lol) of the saddest things someone said to me was if I ever got that fat I would kill myself and my reply was well you could go on a diet and the reply was no I'd kill myself.

Hurt really bad because I've always been pretty suicidal most of my life and don't believe anyone can love me now that I ruined my body and everything and them saying that just kind of confirmed it for me I have yet still to meet anyone that truly doesn't care about how fat I am or appearance even just for a friend so makes it hard to believe those kind of people even exist. This forum shows me that they do though I wish I would meet some in life though.

Also people love to say to me like in a store or out wherever "hey look at that girl shes bigger than youuuuuuu" like its some kind of compliment or something and I always feel bad for whoever they are talking about as well cuz wow why would you even say that about somebody at all. But that is family for ya.

there are so many mean things that have been said to me I can't even focus in on one barely anymore. where are all the nice people hiding lol

angieand2girls
10-16-2012, 08:30 AM
"Big Mama Woo Woo". That's the name that my cousins came up for me when they saw me. I had a LOOOOOT of cousins too so it spread like a wildfire and that's what they'd call me. It sucked. I also had an uncle that I ran from because without fail, everytime I saw him, he'd grab my arm and pull at the droopy part with his mouth open...like he was in shock that my arm was so big. Then he'd say, "your arm is bigger than mine!" Ugh. But you know what? The cousins that teased me the most...and even the uncle that bothered me all the time....guess what.....they are ALL BIG NOW!! Karma.

findingfawn
10-16-2012, 08:41 AM
I haven't had time to read all this thread.. but want to share what directed me to head back down the right path.

The end of September is a huge fair in the town I grew up in (it's our neighboring town). We went the first night and as we were walking around we passed my favorite deep fried veggie stand. My mouth was watering just smelling all that grease, we were heading to find somewhere to sit down so the kids could drink their sodas without someone knocking them out of their hands, and I had decided to send either hubby or my oldest back to the stand once we had our seats.

We were strolling along heading to the seating for one of the free stages, when this group of high school boys came up behind us. Having little kids, my ears seem to always be open and listening to what is going on around me. Well the boys were chiding each other like teenage boys do. One gave another a shove in my direction (did I mention I have eyes in the back of my head?.. ok they were slightly to the side and I could see them out of the corner of my eye). "Shover" said "There is a girl friend for you." and "Shoveee" popped off with "Man, that's more like 5 girlfriends right there."

I was mortified!! I struggled so hard to hold back tears. I know I'm a big girl, but when I'm out with my family I kind of forget that I'm not the skinny person I used to be. I decided then and there that I had to change. I did not have those fried veggies that night. I did get an order the last day of fair when we went (mostly because we were holding our seats for a show, and it was a stand I knew was near and I could send my oldest out to get them without telling him well get this if you can find it or that if you can't). It was a large order.. I think it had maybe 14 pieces of heart cloggers. We split it between the 6 of us, so we each had about 2 pieces. It gave me a taste without eating the whole large order I always ate in the past.

I still haven't told my hubby what happened. He knew something changed with me.. I spent the rest of the evening lost in my own sad thoughts. Had he known what happened he would have really laid into those boys. I didn't think that was necessary, and now I'm kind of embarrassed to share it with him.

tubolard
10-16-2012, 09:47 AM
I just remember boys giving me and my friend ( she was heavier than I but we were both fat) wedgies, the only panties my mom would buy were these super thin, super stretchy ones. I mean they could have fit anything between a snake and an elephant literally. Anyway, they tried to give me a wedgie and my panties just kept stretching and stretching and stretching. They were saying it was a good thing my panties were so stretchy so they would fit and crap like that. Comments down the hall, boom ba da boom as I walked. Lunch hour was a nightmare, boys would throw food at us (the fat girls) and tell us we looked like we wanted it more than they did. So on and so forth.
My parents made some cruel to me comments, I don't think they meant to to be mean, maybe trying to be helpful in their way, but to me it was so horrible, my sister said things too but she knew what she was doing. I just always felt so clumsy and awkward, ugly and fat.

My sister was working one day and she bent over to get something off of the floor and the person behind her made that beep beep sound for when a truck backs up and told her she needed a wide load sign for other peoples safety.

Amarantha2
10-16-2012, 10:07 AM
Not really related to weight so much as have had things said to and about me regarding being ugly or funny looking.

Lol, have also had horrible things said to me on diet sites (not this one) and have also had people on diet sites say mean (and untrue) things about me.

Truly, all that sounds pretty paranoid and juvenile (I'm in my senior years so should probably stop having forum dramas lol), but it happens a lot in life and online.

So, to tell ye the truth, nothing like that bothers me much anymore, as I realize it happens to everyone. I used to be very sensitive, though, okay I guess I still am lol, but I recognize the dynamic better these days.

Sometimes I just go into my little safe bear cave and feel bad when stuff like this happens, but eventually, the bear comes out of hibernation and moves on because if people say negative things and act like idiots, it has nothing to do with me, whether or not they think so.

Lol, the old saying about "I am rubber you are glue ... what you say bounces off me and sticks to you" ... is so true.

Don't give people power or house room in your brain, know you are beautiful and amazing and just ignore ... it is the best revenge ... drives people crazy.

XLMuffnTop
10-16-2012, 11:02 AM
Wow... I've read through every post and I am stunned at what people are capable of, which says a lot as my expectations are extremely low.

No one's really said much about my weight except an ex boyfriend after we'd broken up and were still living together thanks to a lease (thank god for 2 bedroom apartments!!!). He called me a fat B**** but that completely rolled off my back because he was made I was getting close to someone else already. It wasn't hard to upgrade from him. One girl in 7th grade said something to me but after I was about an inch from punching her in the face she left me alone.

Mostly comments were made about my appearance, hair, clothes, and my dad told me I was going to end up a slut (um... you can tell that when someone's 13?). But yeah, I have a strong personality and people knew I wouldn't take it lying down so I got through mostly unscathed. I feel for each one of you and your awful experiences. :hug:

going2bskinny
10-16-2012, 11:13 AM
heres one that just happened like 2 seconds ago was saying how much i weighed now like happy about my loss to my mom and my dad is like ... yeah what good's it gonna do ya your still ugly

and im not even ugly either hes just an *******

this **** happens multiple times daily so yeah like i said cant even focus on one anymore

going2bskinny
10-16-2012, 11:30 AM
Wow... I've read through every post and I am stunned at what people are capable of, which says a lot as my expectations are extremely low.

No one's really said much about my weight except an ex boyfriend after we'd broken up and were still living together thanks to a lease (thank god for 2 bedroom apartments!!!). He called me a fat B**** but that completely rolled off my back because he was made I was getting close to someone else already. It wasn't hard to upgrade from him. One girl in 7th grade said something to me but after I was about an inch from punching her in the face she left me alone.

Mostly comments were made about my appearance, hair, clothes, and my dad told me I was going to end up a slut (um... you can tell that when someone's 13?). But yeah, I have a strong personality and people knew I wouldn't take it lying down so I got through mostly unscathed. I feel for each one of you and your awful experiences. :hug:

wow my dad calls me a slut and a whore all the time and I'm still a virgin... and want to stay one till I'm married.. he also told me like last month I can go be a **** licker in the army cuz that's my only hope

XLMuffnTop
10-16-2012, 11:35 AM
Ugh. I cut people like that out of my life, period, much like the first poster (from way back when) with the uncle and the family that thought it was hilarious to make fun of people.

If someone wants to try to make me feel bad, good luck cause the last and final thing you'll see is my fat/ugly a** walking out the door and you won't see it again. I don't consider people that try that crap family. True family, blood related or not, doesn't do that.

SmallSteps
10-16-2012, 11:37 AM
I have always been my worst enemy and am a lot more cruel to myself than anyone else could ever imagine being.

I have never had anyone be out right rude to me on purpose but I was in a JCPennys at the cash register once about 15 years ago and had a woman walk up to me and ask me "how far along are you". Of course she was mortified when she found out I wasn't pregnant and was apologizing profusely.

time2lose
10-16-2012, 12:02 PM
When my daughter was a teenager, she told me about a salesperson that was making fun of me behind my back. It did not bother me nearly as much as it bothered her.

My husband's grandmother, when talking to my children, would refer to me as "your fat mama". As a result, she seldom saw them and none of them remember her. It was her loss but still ranks. I really did not realize how much until, after my grandchildren were born, my daughter suggested that my grandchildren use the same nickname for me that was used for my husband's grandmother. My response...... "No way!". It was a cute nickname but I did not want any reminders of her.

2times2much
10-16-2012, 06:02 PM
Wow! Reading though the posts is unbelievable!

At a family event several months ago my cousin (with no teeth and a beer belly) said something to me and my husband about DH working me harder to get me into the cute little shape I was before we were married! Ticked me off...I was chatting with another cousin who took that info. to my aunt, and announced "Well Captain Obvious had to say something stupid about her being fat!". That was as bad as what he had to say!

Dating, a guy told me he was doing me a favor, that he wasn't interested in me really--he liked skinny girls. No favors from him were needed!!!

My senile grandma didn't recognize who I was, and said "You're a big one aren't ya?!" Her, I will forgive a little...she wasn't in her right mind. But she was always doing that stuff--mentioning the other fatties. Not nice.

My dad gave all sorts of "great" advice about how I should eat... Never as horribly mean as some of you have endured though.

It really is a shame that people, especially family, say crap like they do. THAT is what we remember about them!