Living Maintenance - Do you still have a "dream weight?" or did you reach it?

Since begining my journey 140 was always THE goal. I weighed 140 in high school so that's the thinnest I know. I'm also 5'-6" and muscular so 140 looks pretty good on me. But somewhere along the line 128 lbs popped in my head as this arbitrary dream weight. It's probably 128 because that's an even 140 lbs lost (I'm a little OCD that way), so basically the dream weight is just somewhere in the 120s. I have to say though that this "dream weight" is probably completely meida and society induced. Even here when I look at many girl's goals at 5'6" the 120s is often the range.

Anyway, my point is that did you go for your "dream goal" or just a goal at which you knew you'd be comfortable and you knew it'd be sustainable. I know this kinda goes along the lines of we're never satisfied and when is enough enough, but I'm just kinda wondering to myself if I should just go for it to see what it feels like and so I can quit wondering what my "dream goal" would be like. I'm a little hesitant though because I think it'd be a lot of work to get there and I'd likely look too thin and it would probably take less cals then I'm willing to sustain at to maintain.

cool topic!!!

my dream weight is 150 :)

im 5'5 1/2 & the lowest i got down was 175 and i looked good at that so i know i wud look great at 150 :)

I exceeded my dream weight beyond my wildest dreams. Oh sometimes I toy with the idea of getting down to 133 because like you, an even 200 sounds cool, but seriously, I was just hoping to get under 200 when I started this job. ;)

A couple of days ago my son was playing with my camera and snapped my latest avatar picture when I was making some tea...I weigh 140 in this picture and I think I look "skinny" so for today 133 is just a number. I like 140 just fine.

My lowest weight I EVER remember being is 167. I got there and just decided to keep going. I like 150 now, and 5'11" I feel pretty skinny. I want 135, but I know it's only because my mother weighs 140, and I've always wanted to weigh less than her. I think she'd have a fit though.

150 just seems to sit well with me. I wear a size 6 and that's AWESOME, and so for now 135 is just a silly number...

I'm not in maintaining yet, but I thought this was a cool topic.

When I started at 274, I set my (current) goal weight at 137. One, because I remember being in the 130's in high school (when I *thought* I was fat, lol) and two, because it's exactly half the weight I started at!

I haven't been a healthy weight since my early 20's, so I have no idea how 137 would look on me now that I'm in my late 30's. My *realistic* goal is somewhere under 155 (a healthy BMI) but I guess I will re-evaluate as I get closer. Still, I would be stoked to maintain between 135-140. Even though I'm over halfway to goal and actually weigh 1xx now (yay! still haven't quite gotten used to that idea), it still seems like a dream.

When I first started this journey I set my goal as 145lbs which would get me just into the healthy BMI range, but never really believed I could get there.
Late teens and early twenties I remember maintaining my weight at 140-150lbs so thought this would work well.
However once I knew I was going to actually get to this number the dream number of 137lbs appeared in my head, which would make me lower than I ever remember being in my adult life, AND meaning I'd lost half my original body weight.
I hit that number last week for the first time although I've been bouncing about half a pound above it since, and it does feel good. Thing is, now I'm dreaming of making 137lbs my red line so I never weigh more than half my original weight again, BUT, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get any lower. Ideally I'd love to get to 132lbs, and make 137lbs my red line, and I'd be ecstatic to maintain there, but we'll see how it goes I guess, right now I'm just fighting to see 137lbs on a steady basis...

At one time, my eating-disordered brain was absolutely mesmerized by the idea of being 100 pounds, because that was such a beautiful, rounded number.

For no rational reason: Nothing within my past experience, no sense of what different weights looked like on a body like mine, no sense of what kind of intake & exercise I'd have to do to maintain it. No, nothing like that. Magical thinking. Just a random fixation on double zeroes. Might even have been because it's a perfect test score. Or because flashing a $100 bill seemed like the epitome of big spending.

I got as low as 107 in my quest & went crazy, lost my period for over a year, started getting called into my supervisor's office for long heart-to-hearts, had friends take me aside with concerned voices.

Which is why, when I set out to lose weight again, for a second time, I did not pick a goal weight other than within the healthy BMI range. Because I don't trust my tendency toward magical thinking. Because one sign of my disorder was that I kept revising the weight downward till I hit that double goose-egg number.

No particular number is ever going to put to rest all the worries & fears & self-doubt that I'm occasionally prey to.

I'm still thinking stuff more like body composition & athletic goals. And there are a lot of things I **don't** want, as well. There are things I just won't do. If I lose my period again, I'd prefer it be from menopause. I don't want to exercise any hours more than I'd currently doing; I'm not willing to clock in more. I may change what I do, but I'm not doing it for any longer amount of time. Stuff like that. Putting ceilings on things. That's more my style with numbers lately.

Another 5'6" girl here. I set 135 as my goal because it was in the middle of the BMI scale for my height. 10 years ago I got down to 139 and I, like loribell, thought I looked skinny and that was a good weight for me. Unfortunately, I never worked at maintaining it at all, so I can't tell you how that would've gone.

I am sure that you are younger than I am. I am 47 now and even though I have flirted with the idea of 125 (my high school weight), I know it would make me look haggard and sickly. I eventually chose 135 b/c it was exactly 100 lbs. lost for me. A little OCD here too.

However, I don't doubt that when I reach 140/145, hopefully in a few months, that I will decide to stop and maintain. At 161 people tell me daily that I look too thin and that I need to stop. I don't really listen to them, but I know what they mean. I have lost my boobs and facial fat and on a nearing 50 woman, it isn't so great.

Only you can decide what number will be best for you. If getting to the lower number is really something you want to go for, I say do it. You may see that you love how you look and can maintain it easier than you previously thought. Or, you may get there and think you're too thin or it's impossible to maintain. Good luck whatever you choose. You've done an absolutely amazing job! Don't ever lose sight of that wonderful accomplishment.

I've thought several times about entering maintenance, but one of the reasons I haven't officially (by which I mean, in my own head :)) entered maintenance yet is because I really want to get to 120.

My initial goal was 140, which was above normal BMI but when started, I actually never thought I'd get there. Then I lowered it to 135, which is normal BMI. But along the way I decided I wanted to get to the middle of the normal BMI for my height, which is 120.

I don't know if I'll make it. My weight loss has slowed down some, and I'm not willing to do anything nuts to get there. But, by the same token, I'm not willing to stop doing what's been working until I've given it my best shot.

130 lbs. That was the former weight and later it became the dream. But it's not my dream anymore. I feel really good at 140 and great at 135. So a more reasonable goal it is now! Guess I should change my driver's license from 130 and seal the deal :)

Dream weight (ie, not really gonna get there) would be 175, since I did weigh 176 in college during my last semester. However ... I was also very active. Biking to school, as well as taking swimming and track that season. (I could not float!! There was not enough fat to help me out, haha!)

I could get away with that as a gangly 22 year old, but I don't think it'd be appropriate in my 40s.

My dream weight is 100 lbs. It wouldn't look too skinny on me because I have such small bones, but I would have to give up my love of gourmet all you can eat buffets and huge meals - and nothing is worth that.

Realistically, I can't really set any "realistic dream weight" goals until I get things under control and hit 120.

You always start such interesting threads! :) My dream weight was 155. I never ever ever thought I would come close to that.. EVER. I started stabilizing at around 160 and didn't stop losing until about 149-150. I've tried to gain back up to the 155, but my body seems to be happy and stuck at 151. I'm in shock and thrilled. The only bad part is that my teenage daughter is always sneaking around in my closet. ;) I would be irritated if I weren't so flattered.

At one time, my eating-disordered brain was absolutely mesmerized by the idea of being 100 pounds, because that was such a beautiful, rounded number.

For no rational reason: Nothing within my past experience, no sense of what different weights looked like on a body like mine, no sense of what kind of intake & exercise I'd have to do to maintain it. No, nothing like that. Magical thinking. Just a random fixation on double zeroes. Might even have been because it's a perfect test score. Or because flashing a $100 bill seemed like the epitome of big spending.

I got as low as 107 in my quest & went crazy, lost my period for over a year, started getting called into my supervisor's office for long heart-to-hearts, had friends take me aside with concerned voices.

Which is why, when I set out to lose weight again, for a second time, I did not pick a goal weight other than within the healthy BMI range. Because I don't trust my tendency toward magical thinking. Because one sign of my disorder was that I kept revising the weight downward till I hit that double goose-egg number.

No particular number is ever going to put to rest all the worries & fears & self-doubt that I'm occasionally prey to.

I'm still thinking stuff more like body composition & athletic goals. And there are a lot of things I **don't** want, as well. There are things I just won't do. If I lose my period again, I'd prefer it be from menopause. I don't want to exercise any hours more than I'd currently doing; I'm not willing to clock in more. I may change what I do, but I'm not doing it for any longer amount of time. Stuff like that. Putting ceilings on things. That's more my style with numbers lately.

I am thankful for your insight and for you sharing your experiences. You're a gem and a gift for us.

My dream weight is 145; my body is pretty comfortable at the lower range of 150 but now I am just focusing on toning but I might aim for 5 more pounds in the long run and not keep that as my focus but more on health and fitness.It's just so easy to get caught up in numbers..

My dream weight has changed with my weight loss. When I weighed 140, I was convinced that I would need to weigh 110 pounds to look truly slim in a bathing suit. As I have not only continued to lose fat, but also add muscle from weight training, I can see that at 110 I would be ridiculously gaunt and "stringy" (all muscle and tendon, no curves). My current dream weight is 118 (not 120, because I naturally bounce 2-3 pounds the minute I start eating in maintenance mode, and I really want to stay at/below 120, not at 122-123). I am both surprised and pleased that I am quite happy with the way I look these days, just terrified that I can't live the rest of my life on the degree of calorie restriction it will take to stay here.

When I was 13 years old, and much shorter, my Mother took me to Weight Watchers. They talked with me about a goal weight - they made it 137.

Well, the number has stayed with me for 16 years as my dream weight. But, even at 148 - which I remember from last year - my ribs were very apparent (large bones). I don't think it would even look good. But I feel like I still strive for the perfect number, regardless.

I was actually wondering if I would eventually outgrow the striving for 137. I hope so! Nothing like working for something that you never achieve!Bleh...

My dream weight is 100 pounds, ten pounds below my posted goal weight of 110. I'm short so 100 pounds wouldn't be horribly thin on me, but I'm pretty certain I'll never be able to get that low unless I stop eating altogether. I finally dropped two pounds after being stuck for two years but I've had to crop my calories to less than a thousand a day split into two meals in order to do it. I can't imagine trying to live on anything less.

I am thankful for your insight and for you sharing your experiences. You're a gem and a gift for us.

Thanks, that's such a nice thing to say, it embarrasses me a little. :o Particularly because I worry that I type the same words over & over in posts here, telling and retelling about my experiences while having suffered from an eating disorder.

I imagine the people who regularly post & read threads in this part of the forum sighing over the familiar tale while scrolling through their PCs & mobile phones: "Ummm, yeah, tell us something we didn't know."

But these questions are serious & require honesty and self-reflection.

Because, when I look at the views some of these threads get, there are people out there reading who lurk & don't post, and they're the ones I'm thinking of. I don't know just who's out there. Someone who could be shy, more of a listener, or unsure of his or her writing skills. I don't know how many of them have ever experienced borderline disorder-ish behavior, or wonder if they're getting there, or are maybe already suffering disorders. But it is a very real hazard when one focuses intensely on weight loss.

So I always think that maybe if I write something, somewhere, that resonates with one of these people, they will seriously examine some of their habits or thinking, & either start posting here, in Chicks in Control, or on some other website that can help them. Or, even better, seek professional help, as I did.

"Dream weight" drew me because dreaming can be productive or aspirational, or it can be a flight of fancy, which may not be such a great thing to pursue. After all, I regularly dream that I can fly like a bird, too. Or that I show up at work naked. Or that I'm having sex with inappropriate people, at an inappropriate time & place. I had to shelve my dream of weighing 100 pounds as an wildly unrealistic goal for me, which caused me psychological distress & health issues. In my own life, to describe my own endeavors at self-improvement, I'd rather use the phrase "goal weight" as a "goal" sounds far more rational & achievable than a "dream." But as I mentioned, my goals lately are not a particularly scale number & I am looking at other ways & means of measurements.

Good question! I don't have a true goal weight. I have goal "functions" that involve flexibility and strength and endurance, but once I crossed the line back into "normal", the scale didn't hold as much allure as it did previously. That being said ... staying under 150 while in street clothes is my goal, since that's where the doctor has to slide that big brick over on the balance. I HATE the "thunk" that thing makes when it hits its detent - I would be happy never to have to hear it again.

First of all, to saef: not everyone reads every thread, and some people are just discovering 3fc. My opinion is that your posts are so valuable and so well-written that, if you are ever in doubt about whether to post something or not, you should post.

Back to the original question (interesting thread, BTW): the women in my family have always used 120 as an expression for "thin", but, then again, most of them are 3 or 4 inches shorter than I am, and I've never thought of that as a realistic weight for me. When I was in the US military, my weight limit was 147 or 148 (I forget which), with clothes. I originally set my goal at 150, but, when it looked as if I might actually lose the weight this time, I lowered my goal to 145 (without clothes) because I would have a rough idea what my body would be like at that weight and I thought I'd have a decent chance at maintaining it.

I've toyed with the idea of dropping my goal further because I actually have kind of a small bone structure and I'm still kind of thick in the waist. I weighed about 135 for a few weeks when I was 18 and looked really good at that weight. Given my age (49) and history, though, I just don't think I can maintain 135 with a reasonable amount of effort.

While I've done well to stay within about a pound of goal over the holidays, I've decided that I'd like to use 145 as my "redline", so I'm hoping to drop a couple more pounds and stay between 140 and 145.

When I was growing up, the only time I was happy with my weight was when I had hit a puberty growth spurt and for a short time weighed 103 (8th grade), then 115 (beginning of 9th grade). I gained 10lbs/year after that and was never happy with my weight, even though it was a perfectly healthy weight for my height.

For a while I thought 115 was my "dream" weight. However, and this is something I think everyone whose dream weight comes from age 13-ish should keep in mind, when I was 13 my body was very different. I was probably at least an inch shorter than I am right now. I had breasts but my body was shaped very differently. I am positive that if I weighed 115lbs now I would look excessively thin.

In any case my "dream" weight that I think would be more appropriate for my body is 125. I think I would look pretty darn good at 125. :lol: However, I like to eat, and the restriction required for me to lose to and maintain 125 is not worth it for me. Also, I have no desire to buy another wardrobe and right now (at 135) I'm comfortably in a size 6 and have lots of size 6 clothes.

So, the dream is just a dream, and I have no intention of ever trying to get there.

My 'dream weight' is 120s, which is where I am.

Feels magical to be here quite honestly. My dream body is a little different though, hehe.

Much like ICUwishing, my dream body involves enhanced definition and strength in some areas, better cardio vascular health/endurance and maintaining a flat tummy by eating right which is super hard actually.

What a great question and it is so interesting to see others' responses.

My original goal was 150 because it was the top allowable weight for WW. I hadn't been that weight in so long that it seemed almost impossible. Then when I hit it, I kept going.

I made my goal 135 because that was my weight when I married at age 20. I was then 40 and figured if I could get there I would be thrilled. I managed to get there but still wasn't happy with parts of my body (mainly my tummy) so I kept working. I got down to 125 which was my really truly dream weight that I thought was impossible. I stayed right around that weight for about 1.5 years-- most of the time I would be 123-125, once in awhile I would be 122 or 126 but I stayed pretty stable. Just in the last few months I've had trouble maintaining the 123 but that is where I really like to be. Over 123 my tummy gets quite poochy. I have a good deal of excess skin and I think it looks worse with more weight (unless I gain a ton and stretch it back out-- no thanks!). My boobs are virtually nonexistent but gaining weight doesn't seem to change that so I'm gaining a bunch just for that-- I'll wear push-ups and padded bras when I want some cleavage. Right now I am 126 and working to get back to 123. It is a hard effort though and I'm not sure if it is attainable. However, since I was there, I would think I could get back there. Either way, I weigh less than I did in high school (when I thought I was fat!) or anytime as an adult so I am THRILLED beyond belief.

In any case my "dream" weight that I think would be more appropriate for my body is 125. I think I would look pretty darn good at 125. However, I like to eat, and the restriction required for me to lose to and maintain 125 is not worth it for me. Also, I have no desire to buy another wardrobe and right now (at 135) I'm comfortably in a size 6 and have lots of size 6 clothes.


That's pretty much me too :D

I would like to get to 125 one day, and honestly, sometimes I get depressed for not being there. But I'm just too lazy to actually do the work. I can eat a lot at this weight, and I'd hate to have to eat less forever. Who knows, maybe one day my priorities will change and I'll think it's worth it.

i have a dream pant size a size 5 and by god i will fit into them again!

Ncuneo, when you write "dream weight," I'm assuming you mean something other than "goal weight," which is what we tend to hear about more on the forums here.

is that correct? Do you think the two are different things? Maybe different things that sometimes overlap?

I also have an inner anorexic so I have to be really careful with this sort of thing. I'd love to be 8 stone 2 (why? No idea!) but that's 114lbs on a large-framed, large-busted 5'5" gal - no! I used to love when I was in full swing with eating disorders to see that I was in the "underweight" category, I'd look at that stupid chart more than 3 times a day cos it reassured me that if I was underweight I was definitely thin enough.

I do dream about a weight that starts with an 8, so I want to be 8 stone 12lbs, that's 124, and probably still pretty thin looking on me, but it sounds so good. 9 stone still sounds ... well, it doesn't sound "thin" it sounds like a normal weight. That should be good, right? But my inner demon tells me it would be better if I were incontrovertibly and objectively on-paper "thin", not just normal. I'm going to get a good survey of opinions (including from people outside the family and those who have never seen me any other way) once I reach 136 and see where it goes to, but 124 has to be my red-line low weight or I won't know when to stop. I've done 96lbs before, and that was stupid.

Yes seaf that's exactly it. My goal was always 140 because that's the thinnest I've been ever and it's a healthy weight for my height and I'm happy here, but now that I'm here and even dipped below it, I'm not quite satisfied and I want more. How much more I'm not sure, but I know that if I didn't lose another lb I'd be ok with that because I did reach my goal and I'm happy and healthy. I'm starting to think I'm going to have to go for it though because otherwise I'll always wonder...what would a size 6 be like? And what would it feel like to say I weigh 12?. I'm not sure and of those are good reasons, but I'm sick of wondering.

i have a dream pant size

I'd love to be able to work on the basis of a dream size, but whose sizing system? I know I want to fit a 1980s UK 12, but other than buying some vintage clothing and hoping it's a representative sort of size how do I know? I can get in a 12 today if I shop in the right places, heck I'm wearing a size 10 today and was in a size 8 yesterday, but those are grossly outsized vanity sizing. I want to be a "real" 12 and I guess I'll have to see if I can meet someone who is what I think of as a 12 and get them to find an outfit that is a good fit and I'll be fully cooked once I fit in that.

Ncuneo, when you write "dream weight," I'm assuming you mean something other than "goal weight," which is what we tend to hear about more on the forums here.

is that correct? Do you think the two are different things? Maybe different things that sometimes overlap?

I realized after reading this that I was not making a clear distinction between the two in my mind. I have a goal weight, but not a dream weight.
I do have very big dreams for myself and my future (Nobel prize in medicine, etc. :)). But none of these fantasies involve my weight in any way. An interesting realization!

I don't have a dream weight, but my dream size is 6-8. It was an 8 but now I'm a size 10-12 and don't feel slim, I've lowered my goal. If I weighed 150lbs at my dream size then I wouldn't care.

The only numbers stuck in my head are 117lbs and 17% body fat because 7 is my favourite number. A website told me that my dream body fat would happen at 105lbs (based on my current body fat level), so I guess my 117lbs and 17% body fat will stay a dream.

What a great topic--I just changed my goal weight from 132 (healthy bmi, just barely) to 125 (seems possible) but have toyed with 110 (according to "You on a Diet, which I just read, you should add 5 pounds to 100 for every inch of height over 5 feet or something like that-anyway, I came up with it after reading his book, don't quote me!:o). I'm also shooting for a waist measurement which is half my height, another measure suggested by Dr. Oz-that would put it at 30.5 and right now it's about 33.

On the other hand, being a woman of a certain age, I'm not looking to appear older and "baggier" than necessary. I haven't been exercising and I'd like a shot at having a firm bod again. So, I've always loved body-building and that's what I'll start doing again but that might involve dropping below 110 in order to have the muscle definition I'd like to achieve just once in my life--just long enough to take a picture of it!

I'm babbling, sorry :)