30-Somethings - Learning to date with so many variables!




Eliana
01-07-2011, 03:49 PM
I have a couple questions or just things to talk about with other 30 somethings.

I will be divorced in the near future. I was always rather glad to be out of the dating scene. When I was heavier and thought about divorce, I always just knew dating was out. I didn't think enough of myself to consider dating.

Now it's here and I know I'm going to want to date.

If you've faced this, or can imagine yourself facing it, how would you feel about the guy knowing how much you weighed previously? That worries me. Will he assume I'll gain it all back and not be interested because of it? Should I just chock that kind of thinking up to being shallow?

How the heck does one meet guys? There aren't any in my line of work. I love the gym, but it's not really a social place.

And I don't know...what's dating like in your 30's? Are there things that are expected that I might not be aware of? Is it ok to be quiet and reserved? It better be 'cause I am. :D I'm just hoping dating isn't like an episode of "Friends" or any recent sitcom!!!


JillyM
01-07-2011, 04:06 PM
I don't know where your from but my area has "events and adventures". You sign up (pay a fee) and choose to attend activities. My sister in law does it. She has gone wine tasting, horseback riding and even learned to make ice sculptures. It's not just for dating it is just to meet people and have fun. You could make new friends or a new love. Then there is always dating websites if you choose or join a class that interests you at your local school/library/etc.


I wouldn't hide your previous weight but I wouldn't openly share it immediately. You are not what you weigh! Eventually your significant other will find out but you are in control of when. You could casually say "I would rather not eat that I am watching what I eat" so he has an idea you like to be healthy.

Good luck.

The Last Noel
01-07-2011, 04:17 PM
Congrats on the happy occasion of your divorce! LOVELY BEAUTIFUL LIBERATION FROM MONOGAMY.

I am also recently divorced and I started dating again but it's not as fun without the confidence skinny me used to have (thus the calorie counting.) Anyhoo, I meet guys in places where I am most likely to have something in common with them. Museums, science conventions, and several labs I volunteer with. Do Not Date Coworkers. You will be tempted but dont do it!

Where do you go for fun? If you dont actually have a hobby, find one and then find a person that shares it. Good luck!


Shytowngal
01-07-2011, 04:18 PM
I wouldn't bring the weight up right away either. Let him get to know you first. I'm not dating right now (boyfriend), but a lot of my 30 year-old friends are. It's pretty rough out there! A lot of them are doing online dating.

I think the majority of successful couples I know have met through mutual friends, so when you are ready to date let it be known that you are ready for a set up!

darway
01-07-2011, 09:29 PM
People have all kinds of secrets, that are not normally shared right away. I would even venture that most people have "some kind" of health issue... bad back, allergies, migranes, whatever. So I don't think you have any "obligation" to talk about your old weight.