100 lb. Club - Hitting a psychological roadblock. Just need pearls of wisdom!!!




fattymcfatty
01-04-2011, 03:53 PM
OK, so this is probably going to be like a giant stream of consciousness. Let's just start with where I am. Smack in the middle of 100 lbs to lose with 50 lbs gone. So I should feel great, right? Well, I do, physically. However, this is where my head is at :dizzy:

I've been struggling with my weight ever since I hit adulthood. One time in my early twenties, I made it to right about 205 or so, and couldn't get the scale to go any lower, gave up, and gained it back. Plus some. I know now I was starving myself and unsustainable.

My senior year in high school during my sports physical, I weighed in at 202. So technically, I've never been in "ONEDERLAND" as an adult person. Right now, the scale is bouncing between 214/215/216. I am making the big push to get to the "No longer obese" and "ONEDERLAND" and I feel confident, but...

This is my head dialogue.
"You're right at the spot where you gave up last time. Remember? Your not gonna make it".

"You've never been under 200 lbs as an adult. You can't weigh as much as you did in high school. That is impossible. Especially since you gave birth 21 months ago."

"I don't really think I can make it to under 200 lbs. I'm going to fail at this."

"Great, so you've lost 50 lbs. Your body still looks like crap. 50 more lbs? That's still not going to fix this train wreck called your "midsection".

"50 lbs, and still fat rolls. Lovehandles. Jiggly parts. Nice. Why am I working so hard, to still look like this?"

"If I had only had 50 lbs to lose instead of 100, maybe I would look hot right now. Right now I look like all the successful dieters when they post the "in-between" photos.



...So this is kind of where my head is at. I guess I just need some love from somebody who has been at the halfway mark and is feeling weird and unsure.

Thanks for listening. And no, no matter what, this broad is not giving up. Jelly rolls or not!!!! 165 or bust!!!


goodforme
01-04-2011, 03:58 PM
Oooohhhh, I feel you honey!

I have lost 30-some pounds and have 30-some left to go to meet my first (variable) goal. I have expected to be in "onderland" for some months now, but my body and my mind can't get together on this one. . .

Listen, do NOT give up!! Don't do it! The only way you can fail is if you give up.

Stick to your plan, stick to your plan, tweak it if you have to, but do NOT stop. You'll be under 200, off your plateau, and on your way to GOAL before you know it!

You can do this!:carrot:

caryesings
01-04-2011, 04:01 PM
No pearls, but I can sympathize and tell you the next 50 lbs will be more rewarding than the first 50. Psychologically the first 50 were great because it was proving to myself I could really do it, but payoffs like improved appearance, regular clothing sizes, etc. didn't start happening until the second 50. So keep going, the next stage is slower but a bit more fun (at least for me).


Coondocks
01-04-2011, 04:04 PM
WOW deja vu.
I felt that way, still do some days. It's rough changing your mentality. One day it'll click you just have to remember that.

Accept, Embrace, Forgive and Recognize.

Accept where you are now,it may not be exactly where you want to be, but its a far way from where you started. You've made positive changes and they are paying off.
Embrace - pick out something that you LOVE about yourself, pick out a few, whatever they are. Focus on those and refuse to let negative thoughts in your mind. I know easier said than done. When a negative thought pops into your head, reply with "I love xx about me"
Forgive yourself for any time you have tried and not gotten the outcome you wanted. Don't focus on what you didn't do last time, what didn't work, what you didn't achieve. You are doing it right this time, and you WILL acheive what it is you want.
Recognize how far you've come and how much healthier you have made yourself. You have taken 50 pounds off!! Yeah, 50 . . . that is amazing! Remind yourself of what great things you've done, pat yourself on the back and keep kicking butt!!

Arctic Mama
01-04-2011, 04:06 PM
My all-time pregnant high was in the 270's, my start weight was probably around 260 (257 was my first weigh-in, but that was after a few weeks of trying to be on a healther track) and I just had a baby three months ago. And yet, I am ten pounds down from my pre pregnancy weight and only five away from onederland, after having never really been a small adult.

You CAN do it, but defeating that head game is tricky. I had a mental block around 207-210, and I only powered through it by focusing on staying on plan and not what the scale numbers meant. When I stopped psyching myself out, lo and behold made it past my block and onto a new low. It is doable, it just takes time, focus, and a willingness to push through years of bad mental talk to get to the truth.

Vladadog
01-04-2011, 04:53 PM
I was right about where you are last October - thinner but still sad about how fat I looked and really not convinced I could make it to Onederland (haven't been there in 2 decades) or that it would make any difference.

Then I had my annual bloodwork and the numbers all came back great and much improved over last year. Wow! Was that ever a booster shot of confidence that I was doing the right thing.

You are doing something wonderful for your body. You are giving yourself healthiness. And you are worth it! (and Onederland totally is attainable!)

DixC Chix
01-04-2011, 05:14 PM
FattyMc -

Thank you for starting this thread. Although I have no pearls I feel renewed by reading the pearls others have left. Just what the dr. order!

:cheer3: You can do it; keep going!!! :cheer2:

fattymcfatty
01-04-2011, 05:23 PM
No problem, DixC Chix.

I'm so thankful for you guys. You all really "get it". My DH tries hard, but he does not. I need the strength of people who have been there.

mandalinn82
01-04-2011, 05:33 PM
One thing you wrote really stuck with me.

"If I had only had 50 lbs to lose instead of 100, maybe I would look hot right now. Right now I look like all the successful dieters when they post the "in-between" photos.


Guess what? The reason all of those successful dieters got to "goal" was that...they went through all the in between phases. And the fact that you're at the "in between" phase means that you're JUST LIKE THEM...on your way to getting to goal.

So why not mentally reframe that statement to "Hey, I look just like the in-between photos in the goals section! That proves that it is possible to move past this and get to where I want to be!"

fattymcfatty
01-04-2011, 05:55 PM
You are so right Mandalinn
I need to see that I am going to make it. How freaking cool is that that I GOT to this point???
The glass is half full...

Coastalcrafter
01-04-2011, 06:17 PM
OK, so this is probably going to be like a giant stream of consciousness. Let's just start with where I am. Smack in the middle of 100 lbs to lose with 50 lbs gone. So I should feel great, right? Well, I do, physically. However, this is where my head is at :dizzy:

I've been struggling with my weight ever since I hit adulthood. One time in my early twenties, I made it to right about 205 or so, and couldn't get the scale to go any lower, gave up, and gained it back. Plus some. I know now I was starving myself and unsustainable.

My senior year in high school during my sports physical, I weighed in at 202. So technically, I've never been in "ONEDERLAND" as an adult person. Right now, the scale is bouncing between 214/215/216. I am making the big push to get to the "No longer obese" and "ONEDERLAND" and I feel confident, but...

This is my head dialogue.
"You're right at the spot where you gave up last time. Remember? Your not gonna make it".

"You've never been under 200 lbs as an adult. You can't weigh as much as you did in high school. That is impossible. Especially since you gave birth 21 months ago."

"I don't really think I can make it to under 200 lbs. I'm going to fail at this."

"Great, so you've lost 50 lbs. Your body still looks like crap. 50 more lbs? That's still not going to fix this train wreck called your "midsection".

"50 lbs, and still fat rolls. Lovehandles. Jiggly parts. Nice. Why am I working so hard, to still look like this?"

"If I had only had 50 lbs to lose instead of 100, maybe I would look hot right now. Right now I look like all the successful dieters when they post the "in-between" photos.



...So this is kind of where my head is at. I guess I just need some love from somebody who has been at the halfway mark and is feeling weird and unsure.

Thanks for listening. And no, no matter what, this broad is not giving up. Jelly rolls or not!!!! 165 or bust!!!



Hang in there honey.. you halfway there.. that is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SnowboundChick
01-04-2011, 06:57 PM
You can do it.

Change your mantras, those voices in your head. Right down positive phrases and read them to yourself everyday until they are a reality and they've pushed those negative voices out of your head!! Put them on sticky notes! I have to start this again, I used it when I was on track last time and I haven't done it yet, so it's a good reminder for me as well!!

You can do it!

Trazey34
01-04-2011, 07:04 PM
"You've never been under 200 lbs as an adult. You can't weigh as much as you did in high school. That is impossible. Especially since you gave birth 21 months ago."

wow, to be SO special that the laws of physics don't apply LOL There's no secret formula, or no secret handshake that only the thinnies get to experience. Eat less, move more, repeat, and let physics do the rest.

"Great, so you've lost 50 lbs. Your body still looks like crap. 50 more lbs? That's still not going to fix this train wreck called your "midsection".

does it look better NOW than it did 50 pounds ago? Logic dictates that 50 pounds FROM now it'll look even BETTER. Or, the other option is to stop. And stay that way. Or gain it all back. And maybe some extra on top of it. That sounds like plan LOL NOOOTTTTTT!!!

I think there's a 'reality section' about weight loss that is missing from most stories -- as in, a LOT of it sucks, digging around for reasons why you're fat sucks, not eating and drinking what you want at any time sucks, things aren't all rainbows and unicorns once you lose weight. But I'll wager that more often than not things are BETTER out the other side.

The time's gonna pass no matter what, and I'm glad to see you're gonna plow right on thru the crappy parts! head down, barrel thru and woohooo you're on the other side!!!

SparrowSings
01-04-2011, 07:49 PM
Ok, I've never been where you are, but gosh! I hope to be someday. So here are some thoughts drawn from non-weight related life experiences.

1. Have a clear mental picture of what you are trying to accomplish, like you running up a flight of stairs with ease or you in a really hot dress out to dinner with your honey or you hiking with your family and enjoying it --- whatever really exemplifies the benefits you are pursuing. Think about it until you can really feel the moment. Then when those voices pop up, counter with a minute of very strong imagination.

2. Pick a smaller goal, like losing 5 pounds by a deadline, and concentrate on that. Make sure to really pat yourself on the back when you get there and then pick another smaller, closer goal.

3. This might be completely off base, but you almost sound afraid of succeeding. 50 pounds is already a huge change and more is coming --- how do you feel about that? People treat you differently and have different expectations. You don't get to hide behind the "I can't do that cuz I'm too fact" excuse. Would journaling help?

Again, I am not talking from experience here, so take my advice with a shaker of salt. But you have already accomplished so much, how can you NOT keep going?

Congratulations on an impressive loss already! :carrot:

fattymcfatty
01-04-2011, 08:00 PM
SparrowSings,
I don't think I have fear of success. I would love it, but don't believe I'll get there. Even though yes, if I stick to the plan, I will. And trust me, I am not going to give up. No way. I am staying on plan and I am going to keep going.

goal4agirl
01-05-2011, 01:14 AM
Hi ! No real pearls of wisdom but I do understand what you are saying.
I also am at the midway point of my weight loss journey. It seemed like I weighed between 202 and 212 forever and I kept asking my husband do you think I will be able to get below 200? He kept telling me YES! He said sooner or later the way you eat (or the lack thereof) and exercise the weight has no other option but to come off. The day I stood on the scale and it said 199.6 I hardly believed my eyes! I had not seen that for over 15 years. And after years of Crohns disease and taking prednisone I had this mental block that I was not capable of losing weight. That is a falsehood I had built up in my mind.
You keep working on this and you will not only see the scale dip below 200 but you will continue to see a steady weight decline.
Happy New Year! Here's to a year of seeing our dream become a reality!

starbrite
01-05-2011, 05:41 AM
Gosh- this is so what I feel. 103lbs gone, 42 still to go, and I feel like the last 42 are the big ones! Weightloss is a roller coaster of emotions, and it's sticking to the ride that makes us win. Understanding that if we stick to and believe in our plans we will succeed.
You have done yourself a huge favour by losing 50lbs. You are half way to achieving an amazing goal. Have faith and keep going- you will succeed, but be prepared to perhaps never feel the way you want to about your body. Thats a whole new mental issue that has to be addressed along the way. :hug:

ubergirl
01-05-2011, 09:09 AM
Gosh- this is so what I feel. 103lbs gone, 42 still to go, and I feel like the last 42 are the big ones! Weightloss is a roller coaster of emotions, and it's sticking to the ride that makes us win. Understanding that if we stick to and believe in our plans we will succeed.
You have done yourself a huge favour by losing 50lbs. You are half way to achieving an amazing goal. Have faith and keep going- you will succeed, but be prepared to perhaps never feel the way you want to about your body. Thats a whole new mental issue that has to be addressed along the way. :hug:

Me and you both! Gosh, we are weight loss twins!

Fatty, yesterday I started to write a big long response about how I remember feeling the way you feel.... I had a HUGE headblock about the number 230. I had never weighed less than 230 in TWENTY YEARS. It was a big relief putting that number behind me!

But yesterday, I kept thinking about what you had written, and I realized that I'm STILL in that state. I lost down to the size where I can wear normal sized clothes but I'm still a bit on the chubby size. I was trying to shop in the expensive department of a high end department store and in the really expensive brands, I'm just over a 14. I almost cried. All this weight loss, all this effort and work and hours logged at the gym, and I there are still entire departments at Nordstrom in which I can't wear a single item of clothing.

So yeah, it sucks.

But on the other hand, where we were sucks more, and eventually we'll get where we're going if we stick with it.

I TOTALLY fall into this magical thinking about weight loss. I always think that I'll keep doing what I'm doing but my body will just REFUSE.

But of course, that's ridiculous. We don't get to choose the exact timeline, but we do get to choose the outcome.

Hang in there, and you will start to feel the magic of losing the next fifty.

synger
01-05-2011, 10:12 AM
I feel ya! I have hovered around 260 for the past four months, after losing almost 50 pounds from April to September. 260-ish is a major "set point" for me -- I was around that weight when I married 20 years ago, and even when I've lost weight in the past I get to this point and just kinda... stop. So I was afraid it would be a major hurdle mentally for me. So much work, so much effort, and so little (to me) change in my body. /sigh

And yet, it hasn't been so bad this time around. I have a longer-term view in sight -- and a one-year commitment, no matter what. The four-month "plateau" wasn't as frustrating for me. Before, I'd give up at this point. This time, I just felt like I was resting, holding, waiting for the time to continue on the path. Like I do when I go hiking and take a break from walking to just sit and enjoy the scenery where I am (and catch my breath).

(And I put quotes around "plateau" because I know what was causing it... calorie/carb creep, too much alcohol, no exercise, etc. It's not a true plateau if I'm not actually on-plan 80% of the time.)

So now I'm ready to move on to the next phase of the journey. Back on plan, and more careful about accounting (calories/carbs). And it's beginning to come off again.

We're not in it for the short haul. This is a lifetime journey. And it's the journey itself that is fascinating (and hard!) and exhilarating. The fact that I can make these choices, that I have the determination and willpower, that this is MY journey, makes all the difference this time.

jennyplain
01-05-2011, 01:14 PM
Oh my gosh, you and I could be twins! Same height, same amount lost (more or less), same feelings! I am right there with you. I let myself become totally complacent over Christmas because I am a bit discouraged and a bit freaked out by what might lie on the other side of the 200 mark.

fattymcfatty
01-05-2011, 01:34 PM
Thanks to all my weight loss twins. I am on a 1.5year commitment this time, and I think that is key. Throwing in the towel is not an option. In December 2011, my DH and I plan on conceiving baby #2. I want to be the fittest and healthiest me I can be by that time. The scale read 214.5 this morning, so I know I am on a downward trend with these pesky holidays behind me!!!