100 lb. Club - Biggest Factor In Dieting




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DietRightDave
12-30-2010, 02:29 PM
The Hardest Part Of Dieting Is Sticking With It. Make Sure You Have Good Motivations.....and Don't Forget Them. It's The Most Important Thing To Have. Motivation And The Will To Stick With It. Most Plans Will Work, You Just Have To Stay Motivated!


bargoo
12-30-2010, 03:26 PM
The Hardest Part Of Dieting Is Sticking With It. Make Sure You Have Good Motivations.....and Don't Forget Them. It's The Most Important Thing To Have. Motivation And The Will To Stick With It. Most Plans Will Work, You Just Have To Stay Motivated!

Agree !

Shmead
12-30-2010, 03:47 PM
What is motivation? That's a serious question. If by "motivation" you mean that deep emotional enthusiasm for the task, then I am going to disagree. Motivation is like infatuation: it's great, but it never last for the long haul. Eventually, there are days where you are not motivated--days when you are depressed, tired, BUSY, stressed out, whatever.

It's like taking care of a baby. If you relied on motivation to get it done, there'd be a lot of hungry, wet babies out there. It takes something deeper, a feeling of obligation, of commitment, of "this is what I do now".

For me, the key to reaching that spot was through planning and routine and ritual. There are things I always do: I always weigh myself every morning and record the number. I always record my food and calories. I always plan ahead to know what I am eating the rest of the day (and often the rest of the week).


Slim CB
12-30-2010, 03:58 PM
For me its more about commitment - not motivation. I am always motivated when the number on the scale starts going down, or when someone tells me I look great. But those moments when I can't be bothered, when the scale is stuck, when I still feel fat - I still force myself to go the gym, I still plan my food, I still count calories. That's not motivated, that's a deep desire to get healthy - a commitment to my health and longevity.

seagirl
12-30-2010, 04:04 PM
Disagree. Motivation comes and goes, commitment is what it takes.

I'm not motivated at all today, but I'm committed so I'm following my plan.

I think relying on motivation is what causes people to cheat (on their plan, their spouse, etc) if they would remember their commitment they would stay on track.

carrie31324
12-30-2010, 04:11 PM
I agree, commitment is what produces results!!

DietRightDave
12-30-2010, 04:52 PM
I Agree About Commitment. The Only Problem With Commitment Is That What Happens Once You Break Your Commitment. I Don't Know Anyone Who Has Dieted And Excercised And Had Success On The First Try.

This Is Because Commitment Usually Fails On The First Try.....you Have To Continue Being Motivated To Make Commitment Easier. Yes. Commitment Is The Big Answer, But Commitment Is Made Exponentially Easier To Stick With If You Understand Your true Motivations And Use That Force To Make Your Commitment Easier.

Yes, Commitment Is Necessary, But It Is Motivation That Allows For That Commitment To Start And Esentially Allows Your To Finish Your Commitment.

Motivation....when Used Correctly And Understood Is Literally Unstoppable!!

lottie63
12-30-2010, 05:35 PM
hmmmm. I see you're new here, just want to say welcome.

The commitment being what we need over motivation is a song sung a lot here, so you're kind of stepping into a snake pit with that one, just thought I'd let you know. ;)

Motivation though honestly, is fleeting, it might be what gets you started, but it's rarely what sees you through to the end.



My real dad died of complications from diabetes in his 40's. That was a motivation for me. I still think of it when I feel like things are getting difficult, but studies have shown that motivation and fear and worries about health and all that, are not enough of a 'punishment' to see us through to goal. (Just read an article about that actually.)

It's just a matter of waking up, and doing what you know needs to be done, even on days when there is no motivation to speak of.

I'm glad you're so hung ho though, I assume you are a new years resolutioner. Welcome.

Rosinante
12-30-2010, 05:40 PM
A vote for commitment here. This means sticking with doing the right thing day in day out, even when I don't really want to.
My motivation is to look good and to feel better about myself - but some days I'd rather overeat. My commitment makes sure I don't.
My other motivation is to be healthy, to live a very long time and not to be a fat corpse that grosses the undertakers out - but sometimes I'd rather have a Mars Bar. My commitment makes sure I don't.

However, Dave, if what you mean is that weightloss success begins in the brain, then I agree! We may just be talking semantics. I frequently lose motivation but rarely have lost commitment since May.

Jojo381972
12-30-2010, 05:44 PM
I think commitment and motivation are linked. Your true motivations are what intrinsic motivation is all about (doing something for the sake of it and not for external rewards). Incentive theory is related to making the behaviour a habit by getting a reward (tangible or intangible) after performing a certain behaviour (eating healthy or exercising). Commitment is following the same habit time after time and seeing results.

kaplods
12-30-2010, 05:55 PM
Trying to boil weight loss down to any one factor is ridiculous. Of course, we'd all love for it to be that simple, because then everyone is guaranteed of success, and anyone failing only has themselves to blame. If you're failing, you're just not following the simple path.

"This time around," I've had far, far less motivation and have put in far less work and effort than I ever have in 40 years of dieting. I've found a way to "fail off" more than 85 pounds.

I say "fail off" because I would have never defined what I AM doing now as success. My expectations, my motivation, my commitment, and my work effort were far, far greater in the past than I'm doing now. So how can I be more successful?

A big key was seriously considering and attempting low-carb eating, but it is by far not the only one. For me, there are at least a dozen factors that contribute to this time being different, and they're more complex than motivation, commitment, or effort.

I wish it had been that simple, because twenty years ago I had ****loads more motivation, comitment, and willingness/ability to work harder than I do now.

It can be a compilation of dozens of small, almost insignificant discoveries that pave the way for success.

If I had to boil my success to one factor (and I'd be insane to do so, because it can't be), it would be the willingness to unlearn most of what I was taught about weight loss, and that includes that motivation or commitment is some magic secret core.

There is no single biggest factor, because everyone's weight loss is different. Some people have incredible motivation and effort, but have poor understanding of nutrition/calorie levels. Some people have a strong knowledge base, but lack motivation or commitment. For some people, biochemistry may be there biggest factor (in many different ways).

You can't boil it down to one thing that applies equally to everyone. It just doesn't work that way. And it's one of the hugest fallacies of weight loss.

For most of my life, I mistakenly believed all the crap about commitment/motivation/effort - and when I failed I blamed myself and decided I needed more effort/commitment/motivation.

But it was like I was in a car with the emergency brake on, deciding that I just needed to give it more gas and wondering why I wasn't getting anywhere. I was spinning my wheels, because I was channeling more energy into issues that weren't the problem.

I wasn't even looking for my main problems, because I assumed it was effort/motivation/commitment. I neglected important factors because I was looking for only one.

Don't look for only one. Learn what as many of your factors are as possible, and begin experimenting to see which are most important to you. How many factors you need to address, and which are most important, require the most effort - are going to be unique to you. Don't let anyone tell you "all you need to do is...." because they're most likely wrong for you, even if they were right for themselves.

If I had to give only one piece of advice, it would be "be willing to experiment," and that means with everything - even sacred cows like comittment and motivation.

Ruthxxx
12-30-2010, 06:05 PM
Moderator Note:
Please don't type in CAPS. On the Net, it is considered rude and shouting. Our system converts posts all in caps to words with only the first letter in caps.

JoJoJo2
12-30-2010, 06:11 PM
I like the word persistence best. I had motivation to get started, I needed commitment to keep going, but I really leaned on persistence in order to continue on to be successful.

I also agree that it is a question of semantics. Words have slightly different meanings for different people.

sept15lija
12-30-2010, 06:13 PM
I think committment is more important too. I am very committed to how I eat. This is just how it is. I have tried and failed before, yes. Those times, I know I wasn't committed, however I might have been motivated - motivated enough to lose some weight but not committed enough to stick with it FOREVER.

weightgame
12-30-2010, 06:16 PM
My motivation is Gull stones if I eat anything fatty I will have a gall bladder attack

PinkHoodie
12-30-2010, 06:24 PM
What is motivation? That's a serious question. If by "motivation" you mean that deep emotional enthusiasm for the task, then I am going to disagree. Motivation is like infatuation: it's great, but it never last for the long haul. Eventually, there are days where you are not motivated--days when you are depressed, tired, BUSY, stressed out, whatever.

It's like taking care of a baby. If you relied on motivation to get it done, there'd be a lot of hungry, wet babies out there. It takes something deeper, a feeling of obligation, of commitment, of "this is what I do now".

For me, the key to reaching that spot was through planning and routine and ritual. There are things I always do: I always weigh myself every morning and record the number. I always record my food and calories. I always plan ahead to know what I am eating the rest of the day (and often the rest of the week).

Thank you Shmead...this struck a cord with me...it really did. My new word is going to be commitment. I know I have heard it talked about alot, but now I'm seeing why its so important.
Its interesting too though, because I agree with Kaplods. Because what does committment mean? For one person it could mean NEVER eating "bad" food, for some it means SOMETIMES eating "bad" food...I think everyone's journey is so different and individualized, you can't nail it down to words really.
Interesting...

grabec
12-30-2010, 06:25 PM
Liked all of these posts. Yes, for me, motivation was so fleeting. Incredibly fleeting. Need a lot more than that. Still spinning my wheels. Can't really get going but am reading and staying right with 3 chicks posts. Thanks all. It takes all of our experiences, strengths and hopes to make it all work.

lottie63
12-30-2010, 06:26 PM
I don't think it was a question of ONE true way, but I find commitment to be more...useful, than motivation.

darway
12-30-2010, 06:32 PM
Going to have to agree with the ladies for the most part. I remember once losing about 20 pounds, in anticipation of a high school reunion. I was motivated to lose and did, but could not keep the weight off when I lost my job in the 2001 recession - and realized that travelling across the country for the reunion, wasn't going to be something I'd throw my savings on.

*POOF* there went the motivation!

DietRightDave
12-30-2010, 07:02 PM
I didn't mean for this to escalate to an argument on which it more important -- motivation or commitment. They are both important and one of the same. When I say motivation is the key I am meaning combined with commitment. When you get out of the morning and commitment is hard you have to fully understand what your motivations are so that you can stay commited.

Commitment is the key, but you have to fully understand what truly motivates you in order to stay committed. It's essential.

No matter what program you buy or what facts you learn you won't be very successful unless you stay committed. True motivation allows you to keep that committment when times are hard.

It's in the mind. Keep motivated.

p.s. Not a new years resolution guy. lol. Thanks for the welcome though.

PinkHoodie
12-30-2010, 07:24 PM
Dave, you don't have to worry. None of us are mad or arguing. We are VERY happy you are here! :D

The Last Noel
12-30-2010, 07:36 PM
It's like taking care of a baby. If you relied on motivation to get it done, there'd be a lot of hungry, wet babies out there. It takes something deeper, a feeling of obligation, of commitment, of "this is what I do now".



Thank you for this thoughtful, intelligent post. It rings true in so many ways.

Shmead
12-30-2010, 07:38 PM
I didn't mean for this to escalate to an argument on which it more important -- motivation or commitment. They are both important and one of the same.

I don't think people are arguing so much as sharing their thoughts. There are a lot of people here who have spent a LOT of time thinking about this, and our conclusions are very interesting to us, but we don't get to share them that much. So thanks for starting the discussion.

For me, this time, it wasn't motivation, but "commitment" really isn't the right word, either. It was more inevitability. I simply had to do this. I spent five years or so having accepted that I would die young and that wasn't enough to motivate me. I spent 10 years hating myself every minute of every day--real loathing--and that wasn't enough to motivate me.

I did have a change in motivation--we decided to try for a baby--but that wasn't enough. It was something more profound, this strong sense of "this is my life now".

I'd also add that open-mindedness was at least as important. Kaploid, in another post, said something once that really spoke to me: she spent 20 years thinking she had an emotional problem, and it turned out to be physical. I always thought the problem was ME, because I was a weak, pathetic, disgusting, ugly, lazy slob who couldn't stick to The Plan. Being open to changing the plan changed everything. I thought if I were a Good Person I would stick to the plan. I didn't know that there were good plans out there that were easy to stick to. I thought it had to be hard, because if it wasn't hard, you weren't atoning for the sin of being fat. Finding a plan that didn't require tons of motivation OR tons of commitment helped a lot. And for me, that magic change was just eating 300-500 more calories a day, not trying to keep my calories as low as I could stand.

kaplods
12-30-2010, 08:33 PM
I think the risk of thinking motivation or commitment is primary, is in thinking the solution logically means "just trying harder," (which very often is interpeted as reducing calories and exercising EVEN MORE).

I was extremely surprised to find physiological factors, because for the better part of nearly 40 years of dieting, I wasn't looking for them.

In some ways it's like telling someone that to fly, they just need to put in more effort, more motivation and more commitment (and forgetting to mention the importance of wings).

Most of my life, I kept jumping off higher and higher cliffs - and only recently learned about wings. It's no wonder that each diet was less effective than the last.

My weight loss "wings" turned out to be birth control pills (to control INSANE monthly hunger/cravings) and low-carb eating (which also tames hunger).

As it turns out, the wings have made a huge difference when it comes to flying (who would have known).

I didn't need more motivation, commitment, and work (which is a damned good thing, because I'm so burnt out on traditional dieting that I don't have but a smidgen of those things left).

The wings have made flying a whole lot easier and pleasant, even with very little effort and commitment. I can only imagine what my results would have been if I'd found them when I still had intense drive, energy and focus.

I think the error in telling someone it's "just" or even "primarily" a matter of effort, commitment, or motivation, is that it can misdirect people's efforts. Some people (like I did) have had to learn to work smarter, not harder. Putting more and more energy into an ineffective strategy leads nowhere.

I think we need to stop trying to find "the" answer, and need to approach weight loss with a much broader, more open mind - realizing that the problem is different not only for different people, but even for different stages of an individual's life.

I think trying to declare a "biggest factor" (especially when trying to say it's true for everyone) is less useful than an individual person experimenting to find all of his/her factors, and chipping away at them, and through trial and error find out which are most important to personal success.

DietRightDave
12-30-2010, 11:40 PM
That's a great point on the fact that no two people are the same and one method might work for someone and won't work for someone else. I'm not saying that motivation or commitment are the primary focus for everyone, but it has to be a focus of at least some drastic amount for everyone. Motivation is necessary at some points as well as commitment. You need them both no matter what strategy works best for you. If you can't motivate yourself to do it and continue to motivate yourself and keep a commitment no matter what else works for you won't work for long.

Motivation and commitment are necessary for me not just to be successful in my dieting, but in almost anywhere that I have made goals in my life. I have goals in aspects of my life other than dieting and with a good understanding of the situation....in this case dieting....combined with strong motivation, determination, and commitment there is nothing that can stop you. I carry that attitude with me everywhere and believe that is solely responsible for my success in my diet. Just saying it's what works for me and I like to try and inspire people in everything that I do. Find out what truly motivates you and keep that....it's an emotion usually....in your heart and use it as a drive to stay committed to your goal and you will succeed.

p.s. I know were not arguing lol...just couldn't think of a better term at the time.

p.p.s. Thanks for such an interest in my post.

Ookpik
12-30-2010, 11:57 PM
There are a lot of factors that contribute to my losing weight, but for me personally, the biggest was discipline. For me, that meant exercising every day, whether I felt like it or not, even if tired after working a long shift. It also meant counting calories, minding what I ate, and sometimes eating a salad when I really, really wanted a cheeseburger. I will occasionally treat myself to a cheeseburger, etc, but only occasionally. I try to eat healty 90 percent of the time, and for me, that takes discipline. And also commitment.

kaplods
12-31-2010, 12:28 AM
I'm not saying that motivation or commitment are the primary focus for everyone, but it has to be a focus of at least some drastic amount for everyone.

I actually still disagree, because I'm succeeding now (almost despite myself).
Since being put on my first diet at age 5, I have never had less "drastic" amounts of motivation and commitment and even effort than ever before. In fact, it's been such a small amount that I've lost less than a pound per week on average (and at my size, that's pretty modest, very un-impressive results. But I was so burnt out on drastic, that I found it much easier to make very small non-drastic changes).

Yes, I do have to have "some," commitment, effort, and motivation but I am constantly surprised at how little, and the amount is far from drastic.

I think assuming that the change has to be "drastic" to produce results is one of the biggest fallacies of weight loss. Very small changes, with very weak effort can have significant results. Sure they're not going to be as rapid or as dramatic as those who can put in the "drastic amount" of changes, but if drastic isn't comfortable or manageable for you, small changes can yield results.

No you can't have dramatic results without dramatic changes, but you can have modest or even small results with small changes.

I think too often, we tell folks they have to make drastic and dramatic changes, and the prospect can be so intimidating that people give up (especially if they find it difficult to stick to drastic changes. They think because they can't seem to make drastic changes, that they're doomed to failure, so they don't even try).

I think one of the reasons so few people succeed at weight loss in the emphasis on drastic changes (whether those changes be to commitment, effort, motivation, or other weight loss startegies). Small changes (and their resulting small results) aren't really considered a viable option for most people. Everyone wants impressive, dramatic, and fast results (which only can be achieved by "drastic" changes).

But if you change your expectations, you can succeed with extremely small changes. Small changes yield small results, but it's a viable option for people who mentally or physically aren't prepared for drastic.

Small changes, and even very small, barely there commitment and motivation can still yield results.

I think the idea that "drastic" change is necessary, makes weight loss more intimidating than it has to be.

To steal a religious concept, you only need the faith (or commitment/ motivation/effort for that matter) of a mustard seed to get started. Small changes yield small results - but they're still completey real results. And those small results can be rewarding enough to inspire you to do more. You don't have to start strong, you just have to start.

RoseRodent
12-31-2010, 03:54 AM
Neither motivation nor commitment is any good to me, both have got me in all kinds of serious trouble in the past. Mine is more of a Nike theory of weight loss : Just Do It. On days you don't feel like it, don't have motivation, don't have commitment, fall back on your routine. Eat that way because it's just what you do. Go to the gym because it's Thursday and on a Thursday you go to the gym. If you rely on feeling like you want to do it each time you fall easily prey to reasons to quit.

Nola Celeste
12-31-2010, 04:52 AM
Yeah, I have to agree with Rose on this one...motivation? Commitment? For me, it's all about inertia. :D

Once I've made the effort to switch my little one-track mind to a different track, it will keep chugging blithely down that track until I do something. Maybe motivation was involved in the initial decision to make my choo-choo switch its track, but that was gone pretty quickly; by the time I started here on October 19, the motivational factor that made me want to lose the weight was already past.

It really has helped to make things routine. I used to be "woman who lounges on the couch" or "woman who leads a rich inner life"; now I am "woman who takes care of herself," "woman who eats rainbows," and "woman who gets off her duff and walks two blocks to the store to buy oranges instead of driving there for cheetos."

hope for recovery
12-31-2010, 07:29 AM
I think persistence and consistence - meaning setting realistic goals that are reasonably achievable by the person and then sicking with it again and again and again until it gets easier and then new goals, new progress.

shannonmb
12-31-2010, 08:42 AM
Really great stuff in this thread, thanks for starting it, Dave! And :welcome3:!!

I think if sustainable weight loss were a matter of motivation, there wouldn't be very many fat people. Just about everyone is SUPER motivated at one point or another to really get the weight off. I also read that article Lottie was talking about (I think it was Matt's story), about how even motivation from serious health scares isn't enough to keep most people going on a path to real lifestyle change. And I agree with Shmead when she more or less said that just believing the statement "all you need is motivation" has resulted in a lot of us feeling like lazy, worthless, disgusting, and hopeless people at some point. Geez, all you need is motivation and I can't even manage that? Why should I not be sufficiently motivated? -- I weigh 350 lbs, my legs are swollen unrecognizably, my doctor is talking blood pressure meds, I am GOING to die young, I have a 10 year old daughter who needs her mother, etc, etc.

Yes, those things indeed motivated me to get started. I do agree that motivation is key in those first few weeks when really starting to make changes. But MORE important for me to keep going has been some of what the others are talking about -- kaplods and her talk of biochemical processes speaks to me -- I am coming to understand what makes my body tick, what causes cravings, what leaves me sluggish, what does and doesn't work for me. And now it's really becoming about what Nola said -- inertia (Nola, your posts lately have been outstanding!!). Yes, I do check in with my motivation every now and then. But, I have done all the work to get habits changing, to take inventory of what does and doesn't work for me, to set myself up for success. I'm aware it's a very fluid process, and that more tweaking and mind-set changing are going to have to happen as I go along.

Motivation is probably the first step. But it's been just that for me, the first step. Once that fleeting, temporary emotion is acknowledged, then the WORK can begin.

twinmommaplusone
12-31-2010, 10:28 AM
Seriously debating what the guy said? LOL- Wow, sometimes I can never understand this place, so dramatic.

ubergirl
12-31-2010, 10:36 AM
I have to say that almost 110 lbs and 18 months ago, I posted a thread about motivation, and a bunch of 3FCers chimed in and talked about commitment, and for some reason it struck a chord with me. Sometimes I think that was one of the pivotal moments in my journey-- something clicked. At the time, I was highly motivated, and I was not sure I could see the difference.

But now, I'm with Shmead. For the long haul, routine, habit, and practice made all the difference. While motivation got me started, commitment was there with me for the long haul.

Nola Celeste
12-31-2010, 10:44 AM
I see it more as discussing than debating. :) I find it fun to think about why this is working for me when stuff I did three years ago didn't, or why X works for this person while Y works for that one.

DietRightDave
12-31-2010, 10:49 AM
LOVING THE THREAD AND THE STORIES THANKS FOR SHARING EVERYONE

I like to start helpful and somewhat controversial threads because it brings out everyones views :)

I'm glad everyone is sharing what helps them succeed. It's important to take success and break it down to what helps you succeed and keep that all around you and in your life in every aspect that you can. Whatever it takes to succeed is what you have to do. Some have said that they use discipline and many other factors to keep moving and push forward towards success.

No matter what factor helps you the most.....keep it in your heart and always in your conscious mind. Try your hardest and stay motivated and keep to your commitments. You will succeed. Just believe in yourself and keep at it. I am a firm believer that if you keep at it and give it your all you will succeed....not just in diet, but in every aspect of life. Just work harder than everyone else, stay motivated, stay commitment, and stay true and you will succeed.

Thanks for all the great ideas on how to stay successful, I'm blessed with the interaction that we have here and I hope everyone stays on track, and keeps the ideas flowing like water on this post.

DixC Chix
12-31-2010, 11:03 AM
On days you don't feel like it, don't have motivation, don't have commitment, fall back on your routine. Eat that way because it's just what you do. Go to the gym because it's Thursday and on a Thursday you go to the gym. If you rely on feeling like you want to do it each time you fall easily prey to reasons to quit.

I like this way of looking at it. Dealing with emotions like guilt for not sticking to my commitment or depression for losing the motivation make it ever so much more difficult for me. Its like I used my motivation to decide, my commitment to find the routine. Now that I have already decided that this is what I do, I do it without fighting/rationalizing with myself about it.

bargoo
12-31-2010, 11:39 AM
Dave, you said it "Sticking with it " if that is motivation or committment to me it dosesn't matter just keep doing it and you will see results. PS you didn't start an argument,, just different folks giving their own thoughts.
If ever an argument starts the Mods will shut it down.

Shmead
12-31-2010, 12:30 PM
Seriously debating what the guy said? LOL- Wow, sometimes I can never understand this place, so dramatic.

What is this board for if not cordially sharing thoughts on weight loss? I don't see anyone being aggressive or dramatic, unless having a different opinion is inherently dramatic.

twinmommaplusone
12-31-2010, 01:37 PM
What is this board for if not cordially sharing thoughts on weight loss? I don't see anyone being aggressive or dramatic, unless having a different opinion is inherently dramatic.

:dizzy: I never said "aggresive" I said Dramatic. Say something simple, which is incredibly true for him and probably for many others and people gotta word play it. I have been a member of MANY sorts of forums in my adult life and this place has the most drama. bawhahahahahaha! :devil:

kaplods
12-31-2010, 02:23 PM
I'm not sure what you mean by drama. The people who are disagreeing aren't saying "you're wrong," just "that hasn't been true for me, this has been my very different experience and I want to share it in case there are other people out there just like me who may not realize it."

What's so dramtic about that?

I don't think it's dramatic or word play to discuss topics in extreme depth - even to the smallest of details. It's very important to make a distinction between "true for me," and "true for everyone," especially when it comes to a task that so many people need and so few people accomplish. Misconceptions can mean the difference between success and failure, life and death (and I guess that is dramatic, but it should be).

There are so many misconceptions, myths, oversimplifications and ineffective traditions in weight loss, that the topic needs to be "discussed to death."

It's not overly dramatic or untrue to say that I wasted DECADES of effort because I channelled all of my energies into motivation, effort, and commitment instead of realizing other issues could be involved. It's not exageration to say that weight loss has been my life's work. I've put far, far more effort into it than I did either my bachelor's or master's degree in psychology (in fact my motivation for selecting the field was to understand myself especially in regard to weight loss).

I'm sure there are other people like the younger version of myself, who don't lack commitment, effort, or motivation, but are working harder and harder using ineffective strategies.

I'm also sure there are also people like my current self (or at least the self that started on this particular weight loss journey), who have almost no energy for drastic commitment, effort or motivation, who might think it's "hopeless" when it may not be. They may be able to put in almost no effort, and achieve almost no result (but almost no result is still a positive result). Knowing that "just a little bit of change" is still change, can get someone started even though they don't have much confidence in the outcome. Every little bit really can help.



What would saying nothing have accomplished, except sparing some "drama?" Instead everyone speaking their minds about what they personally found to be "the biggest factor" in their weight loss, means that everyone reading has an opportunity to hear a story that might resonate with them.

Everyone hears "you need drive/comittment, motivation, and effort." So it's truth isn't even debated. It's radical stuff to hear anything else, and the lack of other voices means people can spend years misdirecting their energies, thinking all they need is more of what they have plenty of - not even looking for what they need that they might be lacking.

So agreeing or keeping quiet helps no one, but sharing different experiences has the opportunity to help someone who doesn't know they also might be a little different.

Dramatic or not, I think it's vitally important for people to hear that someone (like myself) with low levels of commitment, motivation, and almost no ability or interest in hard work could still have some level of success. Because if I could have even this modest level of success, while flying in the face of conventional wisdom, that's important information to impart.

Drama? Maybe, but so essentially important. Knowledge is power - and in-depth, even to the level of nit-picking discussions and debates are a great source of that kind of power.

I'll take drama over ignorance any day.

Trazey34
12-31-2010, 02:42 PM
meh, commitment & motivation are the same for me - i had large doses of BOTH every Monday morning of most of my adult life, nothing ever changed. Then i stared digging around in my head for reasons WHY i was fat ( there's a big difference between being 25 pounds overweight and being 150 pounds overweight) and dealt with those issues and the weight came off, almost as a second thought.

I liken it to mopping up tons of water from a overflowing sink - but without turning the tap off! Sure you get some of the water maybe all of it for a while, but that unrelenting faucet will never stop until you turn off that tap!!

Welcome aboard Dave, hope your way work for you -that's the important thing. What works for one never works for all, just find what saves you and embrace it :D

ps, hey twinmom I know what you mean about drama, but sometimes i think it's hard to 'get' the tone from text you know??? I've had my butt handed to me on more than one occasion believe me and went "HUH????" lol oh well, live and learn! still beats the meanie pms telling me to go away now that i'm near goal :(

twinmommaplusone
12-31-2010, 03:47 PM
LOL- Kaplods, I couldnt even get past line one, that is whole lot stuff you wrote, over my own feelings, lol. See what I'm talking about? Why debate, let him have his feelings, let me have mine, let you have yours.
If the man said something and if you disagree or have a different perspective, thats fine but then why does everyone feel a need to point that out? so Dramatic!

Shmead
12-31-2010, 03:52 PM
LOL- Kaplods, I couldnt even get past line one, that is whole lot stuff you wrote, over my own feelings, lol. See what I'm talking about? Why debate, let him have his feelings, let me have mine, let you have yours.
If the man said something and if you disagree or have a different perspective, thats fine but then why does everyone feel a need to point that out? so Dramatic!

I can't speak for Kaplods, but for me, it's because I learn from other people: I've gotten tons of good ideas in this forum, and from other people I've talked to in my life. If I had to make my way through life on only the ideas I came up with myself, with no input from anyone else, I would be about 15% of the person I am today.

I assume when someone posts on a public forum, they want other perspectives. If they just want to share their own ideas, they'd post in a blog.

twinmommaplusone
12-31-2010, 03:55 PM
What is motivation? That's a serious question. If by "motivation" you mean that deep emotional enthusiasm for the task, then I am going to disagree. Motivation is like infatuation: it's great, but it never last for the long haul. Eventually, there are days where you are not motivated--days when you are depressed, tired, BUSY, stressed out, whatever.

It's like taking care of a baby. If you relied on motivation to get it done, there'd be a lot of hungry, wet babies out there. It takes something deeper, a feeling of obligation, of commitment, of "this is what I do now".

For me, the key to reaching that spot was through planning and routine and ritual. There are things I always do: I always weigh myself every morning and record the number. I always record my food and calories. I always plan ahead to know what I am eating the rest of the day (and often the rest of the week).

Why disagree with the man? Let him have his own view point, Jeesh.

Disagree. Motivation comes and goes, commitment is what it takes. I'm not motivated at all today, but I'm committed so I'm following my plan.

I think relying on motivation is what causes people to cheat (on their plan, their spouse, etc) if they would remember their commitment they would stay on track.

And Another!

hmmmm. I see you're new here, just want to say welcome.

The commitment being what we need over motivation is a song sung a lot here, so you're kind of stepping into a snake pit with that one, just thought I'd let you know. ;)

Motivation though honestly, is fleeting, it might be what gets you started, but it's rarely what sees you through to the end.



My real dad died of complications from diabetes in his 40's. That was a motivation for me. I still think of it when I feel like things are getting difficult, but studies have shown that motivation and fear and worries about health and all that, are not enough of a 'punishment' to see us through to goal. (Just read an article about that actually.)

It's just a matter of waking up, and doing what you know needs to be done, even on days when there is no motivation to speak of.

I'm glad you're so hung ho though, I assume you are a new years resolutioner. Welcome.

And Another............Get my Point people, Each one of you told him he was WRONG! I have a serious problem with that !

The End, I refuse to play into the drama, as I'm sured I caused some myself because I pointed it out, lol. Just sayin! I'm letting the man have his peace!

DixC Chix
12-31-2010, 04:17 PM
I think I understand...I have to find the motivation to find the necessary commitment to have the good motivation to find the determination to have the true motivation to stay committed to finding the determination to have the key motivation. ;)

Just thought I'd lighten the mood. :D

DietRightDave
12-31-2010, 04:25 PM
Well put Dixc Chix...I like the way that you said that. It's a perpetual cycle....everything has a weakness....it starts with motivation, which can come and go, then it leads to commitment, which is started with motivation, which leads to determination, and that essentially leads to rhetoric and routine. None of these are possible without motivation and when you lose track it takes understanding your true motivations and using them to take action and get back up on that horse.

It's not how many times you fall it's how many times you get back up. True motivation is what allows us to keep getting back up.

I posted here to share my views and to get others.....I'm happy to hear other points of view...It helps everyone. As was so aptly pointed out before, some things work for some people and some things work for others. I can tell you though for me, and pretty much anyone else i have came in contact with, motivation is key.

Keep the ideas coming!

p.s. And once again thanks for the welcome

kaplods
12-31-2010, 04:25 PM
LOL- Kaplods, I couldnt even get past line one, that is whole lot stuff you wrote, over my own feelings, lol. See what I'm talking about? Why debate, let him have his feelings, let me have mine, let you have yours.
If the man said something and if you disagree or have a different perspective, thats fine but then why does everyone feel a need to point that out? so Dramatic!


I WANT to hear from people who disagree with me, because if everyone agrees with me or keeps silent, I learn absolutely nothing.

Of course you have your own feelings and experiences, just as the poster does, and just as I do - and we're not only entitled to have them, we're entitled to share. And because they are different, is the very reason that there is a need to point out the differences. Sharing differing opinions and experiences in no way is "not letting" someone else have theirs.

Nothing I said or anyone else has said was implicitly or openly sending the message "you are absolutely wrong. My opinions are the only correct one, and you are not entitled to your opinion or experience. You must see things my way."

Instead all of the posts have been saying either "Hey, I feel that way too," or "That's not been my experience, what's been true for me is...."


Saying nothing or saying "you have the right to your opinion, I have the right to mine and out of courtesy I won't share mine," doesn't help anyone.

By keeping silent on a topic on which I disagree or have a different experience (or even one I think is usually true, but untrue in some situations), I would be encouraging people to believe what I believe is at least sometimes untrue. Encouraging or supporting what I consider a possible misconception would be wrong - just as it would be equally wrong for someone who thought I was wrong to keep silent. That doesn't mean either of us would be "not letting" the other have an opinion.

There's no way to prevent people from having opinions, but the closest we can come is having the expectation and exerting social pressure for people to keep silent when they have one.

I learn a lot more from people who disagree with me than people who agree with me or keep their disagreement silent. Nothing strengthens a logical argument/opinion or weakens an illogical one as defending it.

DixC Chix
12-31-2010, 04:40 PM
Dave - how did you discover your motivations? What was you thought process?

IMHO, extra large fonts do not make an opinion any more valid. They do make for a dramatic statement. This is one of those chicken or the egg discussions. I for one got a lot out of each and every post whether I agree or disagree.

DietRightDave
12-31-2010, 05:04 PM
I know I haven't been here long, but in my experiences with forums...it's about sharing...that's what they are built for.

Here it goes....

When I discovered that motivation was the key for me I discovered it on accident. I was overweight, but I was more concerned with my financial situation and goals. I was trying to start a business and I kept losing money every time that I invested it and didn't realize what I was doing wrong. I then realized that I wasn't TRULY motivated. I was already working harder than everyone else that I knew, but things weren't really working out for me. I was motivated, committed, and disciplined, but things just weren't working.

I then sought outside counsel with what money I had left from failing businesses and invested in a "life coach". It turned out to be the best decision that I have ever made in my life. I found that what I was motivated by was all the wrong stuff. I was motivated by things that I thought that I wanted....problem was I didn't know what I really wanted, therefore I was motivated incorrectly and doomed to have an inccorrect perspective on the road that I needed to take.

I then did an exercise that showed me what my true motivators were and I used those to reach new heights in business and adapted them to weightloss and I had dramatic success. I realized that I thought I was motivated for this or for that and I was wrong.....the motivation is almost always and experience or an emotion.

For example...business related,
I want to be successful to buy an exotic car. Thats your motivation. When really I didn't want the car I wanted the experience that comes with the car. The James Bond like feeling. Driving up somewhere and everyone notices you. I really wanted to be important and to be noticed and respected.

I then applied this to my problems with weight and once I understood why I TRULY wanted to lose the weight everything else just seemed to fall into place.

I challenge you to think about what TRULY motivates you and then use those motivations to fuel your success. I promise if nothing else you will have a better understanding of your motivations and will make it further than you thought you could.

JayEll
12-31-2010, 05:14 PM
So, what are you here for, Dave? :) Tell us a little more about yourself. What was your start weight? How much have you lost so far? What's your goal weight? What food program has been successful for you? Do you belong to a gym, or...?

Jay

DietRightDave
12-31-2010, 05:23 PM
I'm hear because I love to help people.....

I love to help people succeed and spread goodwill every chance that I get. I started at 209 lbs and now I fluxuate a little between 155-160 and am incredibly healthy at that weight and think that I look very good :)

I haven't used any exact program just kept at what I know works. Stay away from the bad foods as much as you can and workout in a regular regimen. I am a member of a very good gym that I visit atleast 3x's a week and I really enjoy the friends that I have made there.

Thanks for your interest in me....if ya wanna know more about me shoot me a PM i want to keep the ideas flowing on this thread. I didn't make this thread for me I made it so people can share ideas and so I could try and help people decide what TRULY motivates them.

DixC Chix
12-31-2010, 05:30 PM
:idea:

Ruthxxx
12-31-2010, 05:33 PM
Dave, you cannot send or receive PMs until you have met the 20 day criteria.

JayEll
12-31-2010, 05:37 PM
Sorry, but I think you are too new here for PMs. You need 30 posts and 30 days. :)

Edited: Thanks Ruth! It's 20 days.

Congratulations on your weight loss! How tall are you, by the way? I'm wondering about your BMI.

The reason I asked about you is that sometimes people join 3FC because they are on some kind of "mission" to "save" the overweight. They have lost weight successfully and now think that others should do the same as they did. Others may be trying to promote their own counseling or coaching services.

Please don't misunderstand--I'm not accusing you. But do keep in mind that many people here are doing fine with their programs even though they may slip up from time to time. Don't let your posts become a sermon on weight loss... ;)

In the interests of disclosure, I lost 50 pounds three years ago by counting calories. Keeping the weight off has been a bigger challenge for me than losing it initially. I think I know about everything there is to know about motivation, commitment, and discipline. In the end it comes down to choice: What do I choose to do on any given day?

Cheers!
Jay

dragonwoman64
12-31-2010, 06:37 PM
Neither motivation nor commitment is any good to me, both have got me in all kinds of serious trouble in the past. Mine is more of a Nike theory of weight loss : Just Do It. On days you don't feel like it, don't have motivation, don't have commitment, fall back on your routine. Eat that way because it's just what you do. Go to the gym because it's Thursday and on a Thursday you go to the gym. If you rely on feeling like you want to do it each time you fall easily prey to reasons to quit.

I think plain old habits that I developed have helped me. But it did take persistence and slowly chipping away at replacing lots of bad habits. Not to mention working on the mental part of it, not reaching for food for emotional or other non-hunger reasons. The ballgame has changed over time too, as my life has changed. I see it as a process, weight loss. For me, at least. I do think other people experience it differently.

I agree that finding a plan that suits my personality and lifestyle so I don't feel like I'm super deprived or really struggling makes it easier too.

You know, whatever tool in the toolbox that's needed in moment and works is good.

bargoo
12-31-2010, 06:59 PM
The only drama I see is the amazing accomplishments of the successful dieters on these forums.

The Last Noel
12-31-2010, 08:48 PM
Seriously debating what the guy said? LOL- Wow, sometimes I can never understand this place, so dramatic.

Argument is the best part of the human condition. Essentially it is what separates us from orangutans and what has allowed our brains to evolve until we could create civilizations and governments. And governments, like the human race, also do not function without simultaneous argument.

Personally I become very nervous around those who have no opinion or ability for critical thought. Historically speaking, that his how dictators are born.

Rosinante
01-01-2011, 07:25 AM
I still think that that 'motivation' and 'commitment' and 'just doing it' are probably all 3 the same thing but there are nuances of meaning for some of us.
Motivation has emotional links for me that I can't always rise to.
Commitment for me has nothing high falutin' about it, just getting on with getting on.

I don't actually need someone I haven't met before poking 'helpful' things into my pond to try and save me - so I welcome JayEll's post for articulating what I could not. Other than that, I love to read people's passion about What Works For Them: we can all of us only post that with total authority; and if our health is important to us, we should dmn well be passionate about it!

DixC Chix
01-01-2011, 09:29 AM
Thanks Jay - well said. That's why I asked him a question. Pontificating is not the same as sharing.

Rosinante - absolutely agree. It was implied that you will fail unless you have "found" THE one good, true, pure, key (your choice of superlative) motivation. Bah.

My motivations (I have several) have varying degrees of positive and negative, strong and weak according to my world and what is happening in it.

DietRightDave
01-01-2011, 11:17 AM
Great point Jay it does come down to a choice everyday....wasn't trying to preach at all just wanted to share what worked for me :) I just like to get people thinking...

Not trying to save anyone here just trying to open up creative discussion on an issue that is near and dear to me that I struggled with for a very long time. I'm not saying motivation is it for everyone of you, just saying it helps EVERYONE. And, honestly it's really good to open up a discussion on what people think is the number one factor for them. It opens up stories.

Not trying to preach at all here and don't want it to come off that way....only reason I brought up specifics of what I did is because I was explicitly asked to do so :)