[Stricken]

Hello everyone. Long time lurker, first time poster. I have an odd issue, please, don't 'hate' at me for any of this or tell me I am skinny and I don't have to lose weight.

Because I do. I am a skinny girl on the top and a fat girl on the bottom.

Its embarassing, to the point where I cannot deal with it anymore.

All my life I have been 'skinny' by default. At 5'4", it was always normal for me to weigh 100 lbs. I could pack 4lbs of food away and be hungry 3 hours later, and never gain a bit. All I did was go to school, walk from one class to the next class, come home, and sit on my then-nonexistant butt. Same with college. I ate how I pleased. Candy bars, pizza, philly cheese steaks, in large amounts.

College came and it was more and more of the same, til my last semester. I signed up for a workout class for my PE credits, required here in America, and I gained 4 points BMI, 20 pounds, and massive amounts on my measurements. I left college that semester at 120.

Real world smacked me hard in the face. For one, I am an artist, and living on the east coast is not easy for such. Two, I realized the struggle of paying bills.

For three years I dropped down to one meal a day with the candy bars I got from my grandfather in the vending machine business as filler for the rest. I sat around, jobless and depressed, hooked to my computer. No exercise, no proper diet, nothing. Oddly I stayed balanced with my weight, til I decided to DO something about it. Already having a Wii since college, I asked my mother for Wii Fit for a present and hit it at half an hour a day, casually.

On came another 10 lbs.

Discouraged, I threw the darn thing to the side and wept.

Over a year later, I have pulled it out again. I now weigh 130 with a 24.79 BMI, which is, of course, "normal" for my weight area. I have two goals, and that is to rebuild muscle and to lose weight. So I have gone into the aerobics menu for cardio, and do roughly 30 minutes of aerobic step with weights on my legs (2.5 lbs for now, per leg), and then rhythmic boxing with the weights at the same on my arms. I sometimes stop at 52 minutes, other times, at 70. Its a daily routine, along with situps.

I have also dedicated myself to saying "screw finances" and trying to eat healthier. Not wanting to throw my body into some state of massive confusion, I started out at 2 meals a day -- either 2 eggs and 2 slices toast and my normal family dinner, or 1 bowl of soup and my normal family dinner. I have also severely cut my chocolate consumption. Tomorrow I plan to start on 3 meals. The eggs, then the soup, then dinner.

The thing is, as I said before, its not normal for me to weigh 130 lbs. It may be considered the norm for most body types, but not for mine. On the top half my face is thin, my neck is thin, my chin tight. Breasts are small, lower arms are small and thin, and you can see my wrist bones and some of my ribs.

But going lower... it turns into a trainwreck. My gut is... ridiculous. Then it leads to ugly ugly love handles, that go into too-thick hips, a ginormous rear end (which I don't entirely mind some padding there, but geez) and giant, tree-trunk thighs. And then knee down, we go back to being thin girl again.

Its repulsing me. I can't look at myself in the mirror anymore. Especially with the stomach/thighs/hips/love handles thing going on.

Its been a week with two meals a day and 1 hour of daily cardio. Yes, even on Christmas. My weight is going between 128 and 132, and my measurements around hips/gut/ribcage have gone up 1 inch each. I'm feeling a touch discouraged. I know my stamina has gone up -- I can now do 30 situps in a sitting instead of 20, and the weights no longer leave me feeling intensely sore.

The idea with increasing my diet is to try and crank my metabolism up. However, it is a protein heavy diet. I have no choice. With coeliac's disease and a body that has issues with fiber, as well as allergies to dairy, tomato, soy, and countless other veggies and fruits, I can't do too much about it.

So. There's my story. I would really like to drop a minimum of 20 lbs if not 30. I felt great, now I feel heavy, slow, sluggish and just... awful. Miserable. And its not just all on physical appearance.

This in a nutshell:
-How should I set myself dietarily after going from 1 meal a day to multiple? I have coeliac's, cannot have a lot of fiber or wheat products, and am allergic to a lot of vegetables/fruits and soy as well as dairy.
-What is something I can do to get my belly back to being flat? Please keep in mind that I literally do not have any free money available, so equipment is not doable.
-Any other general tips?

I should probably add in that my blood pressure is usually 130/60 and, at rest, my heart rate is typically 99 BPM.

[fatmad]

stricken: first of all, glad you are onto healthy eating. I would suggest whole corn and corn bran for you for fiber. Or try metamucil or psyllium. I have several food allergies too, but don't have to struggle as you do. Perhaps atkins or south beach would work for you. YOu can choose veggies from the list, and have proteins and healthy fats. you avoid most grains. (then you would need the psyllium for fiber). Calorie counting may help too. Simply eating better is good, but you are used to high calorie foods and it may be hard for you to get portions correct.
sounds like you are a pear shaped person, but don't be discouraged by the gains in inches, you are building lots of muscle.
Since you are on a tight budget, you may not be able to see a doctor, but it may be helpful.
hope things get better soon!

[RoseRodent]

I can't write a lot on mobile data, but two things, have you looked around the featherweight section? They may be most likely to understand the issues of a healthy BMI not being right for a very small body frame.

The other thing is how "clean" are you on the coeliac diet lately? recipes change and food which used to be fine become problem foods overnight. People who have been living the diet for a long time sometimes slip up more than newcomers who are reading everything they can find. Perhaps a refresher might be helpful, cos a belly out of all proportion to your size in coeliac is often inflammatory, not weight, and may be accidental gluten contamination.

[Stricken]

@ Fatmad: -Thank you for the advice. I will look into corn. I had an issue with it in the past, but it wasn't entirely contributable, so I will see how I handle it. Its been a good few years. The thing is, I can't have a lot of fiber. I actually only need a little... the norm for humans puts me in the bathroom for an entire day, or binds me up for over a week, depending on how my body feels like tormenting me.

I don't want to be pear shaped Though yes, I do want to look into seeing a doctor.

@ Rose - Thank you for writing what you could. I have a confession to make. I actually eat more gluten than I should... should being none, and me eating toast to add that extra filler to breakfast. But the fact of the matter is, gluten free is really expensive. MSG, my mortal enemy, is hard enough to handle. However, I have never had such severe bloating from a diet with gluten in it before. Its really insane. I know, I should probably see a doc, but again, money is a huge issue there.

[fatmad]

ok stricken: I am sure you don't want to be lectured, but you really need to eliminate the gluten. Not just for your dieting and possible bloating, but for bowel health. Celiac's can get bowel cancer from the inflammation caused by gluten, so out with the wheat, oats and spelt etc right away.
Re the corn: you might have been eating corn products contaminated with dairy or wheat, but if pure corn also bothers you, you will just have to go with rice. My diet is virtually grain free, as grains really spike my blood sugar, so its not as difficult as you might imagine.
Eating lots of veggies doesn't have to be expensive, look into co-op or food box programs in your area.
Some protein, veggies and some healthy fats can really kick start your weight loss. Pick up a used copy of Atkins diet book (the older one) and go for it!