Support Groups - Saturday Afternoon Cow-toons

I wonder if it's all right to post a published cartoon? Well, maybe I can find a link to it. Ah, here we are: Click Here (http://www.ucomics.com/closetohome/2002/11/10/)

Well, DH and DD enjoyed the Janis Ian concert. She was actually the opening act for somebody else, who they didn't like as well, Patty Larkin or something. Sounds like poor concert planning to me. Ian got a standing ovation and the headliner didn't! They didn't get home until about midnight and now DD has a sore throat. Bummer.

I watched Zoolander and learned that there is more to life than being really really really fabulously good-looking. :dizzy:

Anyone see Al Gore on 20/20 and David Letterman last night? If he's not running for Pres. in 2004 I'll eat my Beanie Baby Kiwi bird.

Gotta go surf for Christmas presents :flow2:

'Ta
Kiwi

I tried to post on here earlier and it wouldn't take. Testing now. ok it worked.

I booked a cruise for ds and me. THENNNNNNN Herbie (whose car I'm driving while he sells mine) told me he does not want me to drive his car to Tampa. Well, he said to New Orleans but Tampa is further. He emailed me that message and he printed it out and left it on his counter for me with handwritten PLEASE READ so in his mind he told me before I booked the cruise. I was at his house picked up stuff and looking for Zach's traveler's checks which Herbie found and I'm so glad.

That's it. It goes to Cozomel and Belize and Grand Caymans. Seven days. Send cash.:faint: :yikes: :lucky:

Posession is 9/10th of the law. Right? Just pretend you didn't get his email until you get back home. I think a cruise is just what the Dr. ordered for you. Anyway Dr. Wabbit would have ordered it if I'd thought of it. :D

Kiwi, I think you need to book yourself on that cruise too. ;)

I'm all over that!
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A cruise for Christmas sounds wonderful. I can't wait until we can do stuff like that for the holidays. Drive the car to wherever you're going and have fun. Who cares what Herbie says.

Kiwi, I'm glad things have blown over. I don 't understand why anyone would want to go to a Janis Ian concert. She was such an upbeat girl in the seventies. I always thought she was a bigger name than Patty Larkin, who is a countryish singer who wishes she could morph into Emmylou Harris.

My brother is in NJ to visit our mother. He keeps trying to dump her because he seems to find sick people who can barely talk, walk, eat and hear boring. I made him take her to church this morning. Tomorrow he is taking her to the casinos. I'm making pork and sauerkraut for dinner. My mom's pick. She knows he's a vegetarian. It's a comfort to know that no matter how sick she is, she can still get revenge on someone who hasn't visited her through two years of cancer and Parkinson's.

My DH is working all day today. Isn't he a rat? I put up with 8 sisters-in-law ALL THE TIME, and he bags on me. He called me on Friday and gave me the "I have good news and bad news routine" The bad news was that he has to work today, the good news? He has to work today. He laughed for 10 minutes. It was a weak joke and not worthy of 10 minutes. I would get him back, but he wants to cut out all family occasions. This year we are staying home for Christmas. First year. I can't imagine what we'll do with the whole day ahead of us. I've never spent Christmas with fewer than 50 people in my whole life. Granted, they are usually 50 people I don't really like, but that is just a detail. They are noisy and good cooks. The food is much better when you go to a big party. DH and the kids are not heifers, like me, and do not see Christmas day as one long buffet.

I have lots of stuff to do. If you play your cards right, maybe I'll post my cleaning list for you. You can' only hope.
XXOO

OK, you lucky ducks, here is my list. The house is 90% decent, but there are niggling details in each room. So, I will start in the public areas and work my way around.
1. shift wash
2. Get all shoes out of foyer
3. clean mirror in there
4.dust
5. vac
6.get junk out and tidy
7. bath
8. vac
9. hang pics that fell in LR( don't buy those 3M nailess hangers, they don't work permanently)
10. get 10 pieces of junk out.

OK that's a start. I know I'm a bore, but I'm a lazy bore and that is a bad combination.

1. shift wash (you wash in shifts?)
2. Get all shoes out of foyer (how long will this take?)
3. clean mirror in there (oh please!)
4.dust (no details .. no points)
5. vac (on Sunday?)
6.get junk out and tidy (junk is where? you have a junk room? how am I to emulate you without all the info?)
7. bath (you should take that first)
8. vac (see number 5)
9. hang pics that fell in LR( don't buy those 3M nailess hangers, they don't work permanently) (3M is scotch tape)
10. get 10 pieces of junk out (fly says 17 or 27 or some 7 number in that range. Can't you live up to that?)

DS and I are going to go see OK-LA-HO-MA today. Yee HAW!! First we're going to church. Then, we'll try to find a piece of beach to collect sand for his science project which he is doing not me. then YOU'RE DOING FIND OKALAHOMA OKLAHOMA OK!!!!

You know I HATE science fair crapola. This kid who AlWAys wins and who always did since Kindergarten was asked what his project is this year. "I don't know. Whatever mom and dad come up with." Barf

Me again. Well, I didn't re-hang those pics because I can't find any pic hangers, except those 3M things that really don't work.
I am sad that no one is up this am to keep me company. Now I am going to get the kids to clean. They will do kitchen and family room while I do dinner stuff.
After that, I will:
1. .shift wash
2. get dressed
3. clear hall by laundry room
4. shift wash again.
5.Do something with lovely fall displays that were knocked down during yesterday's storm
6. put dinner in
7. make sure I have everything I need for dinner
8. Go to store to get forgotten items
9. do something about junk on ledge between kit and family room
10 relax and be ready for day with unpleasant family members

Somebody post and keep me company or I will make you fatter. XXOO

I demand reports on winning science projects. You will give details on winning kid's project, not honest kid's project.
I did all that stuff listed above. Flyhag does feel that one should dispose of 27 items, but there were not 27 items of junk in LR, so I did 10. It was a success. If you don't look in any closets, my room, laundry room, basement or garage, this place looks pretty good. No one belongs in those places so they deserve what they get if they snoop.
I didn't rest. I am going to do that now. I LOVE OK LA HO MA I hope they skip that cheesy ballet they stuck in the middle of the movie. It makes me mad everytime I see it.
The Music Man was on TV last night. I am a sadder but wiser girl.
Now I'll nap. Where is everyone else? Only Peaches will not blow up to 200 lbs. The rest of you are cursed until you post.
buh bye

It's multiples of 9 -- you can pick up 9 things or 18 or 27. Lush, you have picked up 1 too many, now you have to go back and get 8 more or the Feng Shui police will get you.

Here's my list:
[list=1]
Get up after noon
Take large quantities of ibuprofin
See if DD feels any better
Check email, log on to see what fat chix are doing
Nag at DH about not getting airline tix yet
Drink lots of coffee
Empty the dishwasher **optional
Think about dinner. Briefly
Watch TV all evening
Pray for more snow -- so far 2+ inches
[/list=1]

From this, you will conclude that my house is in pristine condition.

:lol: That's pretty funny.

Truth is it's such a dump I can't see any point in ruining my Sunday by doing anything about it.

Kiwi

that's what we are having here---i had two of sissy's kids here for the afternoon---since they get up at six am,she is fried by noon----it has been snowing or some form of it since last night---what a mess!!!! it will look lovely when i start my displays of course====all forty five of course ----How quaint Kiwi---I do my displays in multiples of NINE as well-----naturally anything below thirty-six is unacceptable.I am playing christmas cd's now====WHEN is your American Lardfest Holiday---doesn't everyone start their displays the next day???Peachbutt----when is your cruise----does it go through christmas day?????

Peaches is working on her Christmas displays. She is going to display herself on board, festively eating 12 meals a day, while her DS makes the rounds chatting up hot chicks in bikinis.

Lardfest is not for 2 weeks Bagzer. Late this year. I have already stocked up on French Fried Onions and Cream of Mushroom Soup so that I can be prepared to make the only cooked dish I can be trusted with by the in-laws -- You know, Green Bean casserole. Although, come to think of it, this year my sis-in-law will be out of town so I could probably branch out if I wanted to. Maybe MIL will let me mash some taters. We will be entertaining a guest from England. I think I'll ask her if she'll make Toad in the Hole.

Kiwi

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
OK you all made my day! You all are blessed with such humor and I love it! I have to do laundry now ya all posted way to many things for me to read/
Brattie

because you are all so lame.

Winning science projects have nothing to do with the experiment, idea, procedure, conclusion. They are all about how pretty MOM MAKES THE BOARD! So get some blue spray paint and lightly go here and there until it looks like a sky with clouds.

Cruise will indeed cover Christmas day.

I saw that Kiwi has posted with the sissies. She is such a whiz. One day, in a private email, Wabby told me that she is smarter than Kiwi than I think not. Kiwi reigns over all us in terms of leaving household out the door and learning computer stuff. This is a compliment Kiwi. really.

The ballet was in the play. I am so old and uncultured that I think ballet is stupid. It's like ice skating crap. It's pretty but they only do four or five things over and over and over and over and over.

You've all got to stop this talk about displays and Christmas and even Thanksgiving. It's making me hyperventilate. Lush, I know what you mean about spending Christmas with 50 ppl who drive you nutz. Even though we do it every year, and DH whines the whole day and threatens to just stay home by himself, and our kids only show up long enough to eat, it just wouldn't be Christmas without it. Besides, I think it's really tacky to show up at my parents house on Christmas Eve for the annual passing out of the Christmas Check, and then not show up on Christmas day for the family dinner.

We're doing Thanksgiving dinner at our house. My parents will still be in Arizona, and DH thinks it would be nice to have dinner at home. Of course he doesn't cook or do dishes, so he hasn't got a clue what this means.:idea:

DS's girlfriend's mom and stepdad are getting divorced, after an evening of the step father being arrested for spousal abuse, then his friend bailed him out & he promptly went back home and got arrested again. The GF has spent most of last week either working or hanging out at our house crying. The big problem is that GF's mom has moved back home w/ her mother, where they have made it clear that they really don't have room for this 18 yr old girl, but she doesn't make enough money to live on her own. So she has stayed at our house for the last week, but I told DS that this can not be a permanent solution. What a mess. I really don't want DS to feel pressured into moving in with her, or God forbid, marry her. He's way to young.

Everybody knows that Kiwi is smarter than just about anybody, Peaches. Even me. Yesterday my sister told me she had gone shopping. I asked her why she had the day off work. She told me it was Sunday. Duh. Apparently I'm not too bright, and losing more brain cells everyday.

i knew kiwi was the smartest long before any of you----I got a whole pile of liz claiborne,banana republic,abercrombie and fitch and talbots clothes today at my favourite second had store====LAST WEEK I GOT A COLUMBIA JACKET FOR MYSELF FOR FOUR DOLLARS AND ONE FOR MY NEPHEW FOR THREE DOLLARS----IN EXCELLENT CONDITION!!! ask Peachbag---she came to Frenchy's with me----i even got ds a Hogwarts tee shirt today!!!! {braggy brag brag gag me}IS ANYONE SENDING ANYONE CHRISTMAS CARDS THIS YEAR---- I MAY EVEN BE ABLE TO SWING IT FOR A CHANGE=---IF I START NOW.

Did your sister give you that "have you completely lost your mind?" look?

It actually snowed and sleeted so much that there was no school today. I would have spent the day posting and reading email and stuff, but right in the middle of an important email to She Who Does Not Wish to Be Emailed on AOL Anymore ;) our power went off. It came on and went off about 4 more times, then it browned out twice and went dead. It was out until we finally bowed to the inevitable, got dressed (hey, it was a snow day) , and went into town to get much needed coffee and snacks. The power was back on when we got home. Thank goodness.

Are you sure you aren't in the family as I am, Wabbit? I swear it sounds almost identical. Except this year the parents announced about a month ago that there weren't going to be any checks this year because the stock market tanked. Bummer... :shrug:

DD exploded my Star Trek shot glass in the microwave this morning. I'm not pleased, but she's so darned cute, how mad can I be?:p

It's very nice of you all to say I'm so smart. But let's look at the facts. Bagz just scored a whole lot of designer clothes for next to nothing. Peaches has managed to break the bounds of tradition and is going on a cruise for Christmas. Wabbit gets good presents from her DH. Lush has a pool. I have a gaping hole in my kitchen ceiling from which hangs a black plastic garbage bag to take the runoff into a plastic bowl when it decides to leak. Apparently this is now a permanent fixture. And I consented to take-out food on my birthday and I actually asked for a present that would benefit the giver more than it would me. So who's smart around here again??? :judge:

What am I posting with sissies? The help forum?

I just ate a 4.5 oz bag of Fritos flavor twists. Disgusting. Well, really good, but disgusting.

Kiwi

WHO IS SENDING CHRISTMAS CARDS????I'M NOT SENDING ANY IF I AIN'T GETTIN NONE [oh,i hope that didn't sound too rude for yas all}

I used to think Kiwi was smart, but then I learned that she went to that fancy schmancy school and didn't even REMEMBER Susan Silverman. In her defense, she did have the sense to skip the Janis Ian concert. So, I guess she's improving as a result of hanging around with Wabby.
I don't think that lame ballet was originally in the play. It was added to the movie to appease Gower Champion, who we all know is a jerk(as evidenced by his ballet). It really irritates me when I go to see a play that has been turned into a movie and discover that they are really adapting the movie, not the play. But then again I'm cranky, so everything irritates me.

I have to take my adorable dog to get groomed and then pick up my DD at football practice, she is on a powderpuff team that is going up against the rival public school girls. Naturally those tough public school girls will whip our candy a** Catholic school girls.

I didn't ask you how to make the project a winner, I know all about metalic spray paint, I asked you what the project was. I mean it, I need projects for all three kids this year. I have nothing. Last year, they started a new thing for the boys' fair. They have to hand in their paper early. They are graded on the straight science of the project, first. This cleaned up the fairness issue(slightly).

My house looked eh-okay on Sunday. That is a HUGE improvement over how it has looked recently. Now it is a tip again, but not near as bad as it was before my frantic cleaning of hte weekend. So, here is my list:
1. get book on tape
2. shift wash
3. unload dw
4. put away pots and pans from Sunday dinner
5. gather wash and put it in the laundry room
6. clean out my car
7. clean off dr table
8. get coats out of living room
9. make bed
10 shift wash

I know, I know, I'm a bore. But I never get anything done any other way.
OOXX....bye

I'm not sending Christmas Cards. No crack laced lentils, nothing. However, I would like to get a lot of cards. A lot, so send me one anyway.

if the lentils were individually wrapped I would insist on receiving them--however since you buy them in bulk and taste one out of every bag,then FINE!!! forget it--- I STILL NEED MINT M AND M'S!!!! ANYONE WANT SOME CHICKEN BONES--- I will send cards regardless of the *****es that inhabit this pasture.

Hello ladies,

I am normally on the 10 pounds at a time board, but today I happened to read your posts,, you ladies are a *hoot*,, love your sense of humor.. would you mind if I would post in here.. I got a chuckle out of your lists....I can relate to the one about removing shoes from the foyer...everyone around here removes their shoes in our entryway when they come in.. I have raised 5 boys, and I swear at most times, we had more shoes in that foyer than we have feet around here.. never could figure that out.. even now, there is just myself and dh here but there is at least 6-8 shoes out there, and *(hint) none of them are mine.

What is this picking up in multitudes of 9 etc.. .. since you picked up 10 I'd say go put one item back.. :dizzy: sure beats picking up another 8...:)

I know what you mean about those 3m fasteners..never tried them, but tried something similiar,, always works so good on tv, but never in my house,, thought it was just me...I stick to nails.

Anyway, just had to comment on your board... just in case that curse worked on anyone reading the thread...LOL...thanks

Dahlia

Now Bagzie, is that any way to talk to your fellow bovines? I'll be sending out Christmas cards this year along with the Mexico postcards that I didn't get sent while on vacation. Now, I didn't say I'd get the Christmas cards sent by Christmas, but I will be sending them.

Every where I go, ppl are talking about the holidays. My banker friend said she's buying those light up deer for her outside display this year. She's decorating this weekend (what happened to Thanksgiving?), and planning her party menus. I haven't bought a gift, haven't bought a can o' punkin, I guess I'd better get off my arse (that was for you Bagzie) and get something started.

On topic, I've gone to 2 Curves work outs, and I've eaten properly (as in not piggin' out) for 5 days. Aren't you proud of me? :yes:

Lush, I love to hear all about your domestic goddess routine. I bet your house smells like vanilla candles, and is nice to come home to. My house is a mess, but I'm using the working woman excuse. I no longer get any extra days off during the week and weekends seem to be one long laundry and grocery shopping drudge lately. I can't even bear to get Flybat emails anymore because they just make me feel inadequate. Can't remember when my sink was shined last.

Kiwi, I was talking to my sis on the phone, so I was spared the look. Did I tell you a couple weeks ago, the guys here at work couldn't decide what they were having for lunch, so I said "well in honor of it being friday, I'm buying a filet o' fish sandwich." They gave me "that look" and said "Joy, it's wednesday!!!!:dizzy: I worry about myself. :lol:

Hi Dahlia! sure you can post here - just watch out for certain northerners. Are you a sweet southern girl?

Ya know, I'm really disappointed in you bats - a couple days ago I confessed here that I plan on getting a boobie bob, and it didn't get even one comment. I think I'm going to start hanging around Breasthealthonline were they understand a buxom gal like me. :snooty:

Hi again,

Hello Wabby, no I am not a sweet southern gal..sorry I am a northerner.. born and bred in Western lower Michigan...but don't hold that against me..:cb: :dance: :dance:

I would really appreciate it if you would all give me a short bio so I can get to know you a little..

and what is this mention of bovines etc...:moo:

well till next time,

Dahlia:flow2:

hello dahlia---I am from eastern CANADA,and have two nicely appointed apron guts----we have named ourselves COWS just because of our looks and of course our size---AND the fact that you can lead a cow upstairs but never down.---as long as the Doritos are upstairs---by the way---we all met at a MESSY people's site---so we are also Cows with sloppy barns---as for myself, I like to drink margueritas on friday night,complain about how fat i am and harass peaches.more later---welcome to the pasture.

I'm a northwestern cow, mother of 2 grown (19 & 22) children who just won't move out, & a husband who won't grow up (just kidding). I win the deja vu award for losing and gaining the most weight.

Hello new people.
I could resent the idea that my attempt to bridle my slovenly nature amuses others, but I am the BIGGER cow, so I will be sweet and accepting as usual. I am the only one who still laments her messy status. Others are cows living like hogs, but not I. I am a cow living like a hog with regret.
Wabby, you want to get your boobs done? Are you getting them perked? Linda, remember Linda?, had that done. She said it hurt, but was worth it in the long run.
I want to go get my self together, here's my list:
1.shower
2.make bed
3.shift wash
4.clean up all paper dog ripped up in family room
5.take out trash
6.spend some time organizing laundry room
7.check mail out of boredom, more than anything
8.do some stretches, my back hurts
9.go pay taxes( wasn't this on a list weeks ago?)
10.make boys clean rooms( they have a 1/2 day)

Wabby, I am getting those light up deer and putting them in the woods away from everything. I think that if I don't start a fire, it will look really good. If I would get snow, it would be better.
I'm off to do something productive before my boys get home. bye

Lush, bonfires are kinda pretty too, so either way would be spectacular in it's own way. I live like a hog with major regret, I just am overwhelmed now that I have a regular 40 hr. week, and now that I'm actually spending time daily to get some exercise I really have no time. The boobie bob wouldn't be to just perk 'em up. I could live with gravity. I'm starting to have very nasty upper back problems & my doc thinks my headaches are caused by the strain. My health insurance would pay, I just have to get up the nerve. :eek:

I went walking w/ my friend who is going through chemo for colon cancer. She is amazing. She get's more done while going through chemo than I do when I'm perfectly healthy. She's putting on a craft bazaar at her house the day after Thanksgiving, which she is hosting for her entire family. Bagzie,(miss artistic) you would love to see her beautiful artwork. She paints beautiful ornaments.

DH & kids have asked me not to invite any extended family for Thanksgiving. They want to have a our family only dinner. I have agreed to this as long as DD helps me cook, and DH, DS & GF do dishes after, and I think I'm going to ask to be taken out for a family after dinner movie too. Apparently my DH & kids have had it with extended family screwy lifestyles and would prefer not to have the chaos on Thanksgiving. I'm having a hard time w/ this, because even though they are screwy, they're family. :dizzy:

Theoretically, I'm sending them out. We are planning to get photo cards, but I haven't ordered them yet. So, who knows?

Dahlia, I am the cow who is never here on the day when everyone posts. It's a conspiracy. Everybody can tell when I'm not going to be here, so they all rush in and have lengthy conversations and then when I come back I have pages of messages to wade through. You should see it when I go on vacation. In order to keep the traffic to a minimum around here, I try to post every day.

Oh, yeah, I live in northern Maine in my sloppy house with my sloppy DH and my perfect teenaged daughter :smug:

Wabby, I'm all for you having breast reduction surgery if you want it. Just think -- you'll lose weight and be able to fit into shirts you could never wear before! Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind too, but they don't really give me physical problems, unless you call never being able to button a top a physical problem :rolleyes:. One caveat though: if you leave us for the booby board, I will never forgive you.

Lush, I will tell you what the science project is -- it is burning dirt! Doesn't that sound like fun? I offered to send some good northern dirt, but it's all covered with snow now and it sounds like too much work. I'm so glad our school system doesn't think science is important, otherwise we would probably have to do these science projects too...

Later lovelies

Kiwi

Dahlia, thanks for asking. We love to talk about ourselves. I am a sweet thin neat cow with a really long nose. I am single. Everyone else here is not. I hate that. Please find me a husband. Wisconsin men are nice aren't they? He should be old, sweet, interesting, A GOOD DRIVER (lush taught me that one), and other stuff that's a secret.

Ds burned dirt today in the oven of the fire department. It smelled bad.

Other kids experiment include seeing what household chemicals kill spiders best. Now, where we would find spiders inour houses? And testing mouthwashes to see which kills germs best. Involves a petri dish. Bye.

WEll hello to all you lovely cows... this seems to be a very friendly pasture.. I may not belong here.. I finally got to the point in my life where my house is no longer in a constant mess... I raised 5 boys, they are now 20-23-25-27-29... the 25 & 27 yr old are married with 2 kiddies for the 25 yr. old and one for the 27 yr old.. the 20 yr. is still in college, so he comes home a lot.. then the house is messy. the 23 yr. old is coming home for 3 months cause he is having back surgery on the 4th of dec... my DH just had knee surgery today...we own a commercial greenhouse so we can track in lots of dirt.. but after 32 yrs. I have finally figured out how to keep most of it outside.. and I have 2 dogs, who are hopelessly spoiled, and one which is very spiteful...

have to go tend to my DH's needs.. he is doing well but is confined to his bed upstairs for a week... will write more later, nice to meet all of you.. hope to get to know each of you well.

Dahlia

Dahlia, even though you're not a slob, you could be our shining example. Go on to the next cow or moo related thread.