100 lb. Club - Feel like a failure...




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PinkHoodie
12-21-2010, 02:17 AM
Because I can't get things back in control. I have posted this before, but nothing is working. All my old tricks for getting back on track work for a few hours, but then I find myself screaming for candy and carbs...I know that I just have to suck it up and deal with being uncomfortable, but I just can't seem to face it right now.
Mainly I just wanted it to be there in black and white. My goal for this week is to hit the gym every morning, because I know eventually that will help me get the eating on track. But I hate this hold that food has over me. And I hate the holiday's. Its a depressing time for me for many reasons, and there is plenty of horrible food to drown my sorrows in. Just can't wait until the holiday's are over....:(:(:(


WebRover
12-21-2010, 03:18 AM
You are not a failure. Sugar is a real addiction. The more you say "no" and get the sugar out of your system, the easier it is to continue to say "no".

All my old tricks for getting back on track work for a few hours, but then I find myself screaming for candy and carbs

Decide you won't eat any sugar (includes the white carbs) for the next hour, or next two hours, or today. Then don't. You can recommit again every couple of hours. It's hard! If it were easy, we'd all be skinny. :hug:

BellaLucia
12-21-2010, 04:00 AM
You are perfect because God made u, never forget that! I'm on facebook. Send me a PM if u want.


TIARA
12-21-2010, 04:43 AM
im with you. I was doing so well but after the 1st couple xmas partys i felt like hey if i cant beat um join um.. well now im 1 week i of binging and im miserable. Its like i know what i must do but i find a way of sabotaging myself... You will get through this. just like i will .. we need to do this for ourselfs and know that the feeling of food wont last as long as the feeling of being dedicated to our plan.. i know easier said than done but hey we didnt come this far to throw away all our hard pounds lost.. right?

shannonmb
12-21-2010, 05:50 AM
I really think I know how you are feeling. I am definitely starting to associate trigger foods with having screaming cravings. Here I have been going right along, eating very sensibly and wondering why in the heck I didn't do this sooner. It's really not so hard, I am satisfied with my food/diet, etc, blah blah BLAH!

A couple weeks ago, we had my daughter's sleepover bday party, and to avoid all the other snacks, I ate a footlong sub from Subway (a sensible one), and indulged in a piece of bday cake. The next day I was climbing the walls to just pig out. Honestly I was actually starting to understand why a drug addict would steal an old lady's purse to get some crack. I tried and tried to just remember how I HAD been feeling, that this was not so tough, that I have a good plan and I need to stick with it, but I was really, really uncomfortable and very distressed. Somehow I made it through that day. I did overeat, but I did it with carrots and low fat ranch, 1/2 a jar of pickles :o, meat. I pretty much ate all day long, but nothing that I suspected would be a trigger for me, even though those were what I wanted, and none of the food I ate took the "hunger" away. The next day was much less uncomfortable, and by the 3rd day I was pretty much back to my sanity.

I really think if you can get through one day without your trigger foods, it'll make a BIG difference toward getting back where you want to be mentally. I am really glad this has happened to me a couple times, because I'm seeing a pattern. Now I know that if I do veer off, there is going to be some discomfort involved. That helps me to avoid doing it very often, and it also has taught me that the unbelievable discomfort following IS temporary.

I don't know if you can recognize any of this in yourself because we are all so different in how food affects us. But I hope it helps!

matt_H
12-21-2010, 06:26 AM
Just committ to make it one day. Promise yourself that you will have one day where you absolutely stick to your plans (go to the gym and eat healthy). That is all you need to worry about.

When you wake up the next day you can take it from there and do your best to make it another day. You need to get the ball rolling again, but once it does, you have it within you to keep going as far as you want.

Eliana
12-21-2010, 06:37 AM
I can only echo the wisdom above.

Get three days of clean eating under your belt. ;) That is all! From there it's easy. Unfortunately, you picked a really rotten time of year to get those three days behind you. Either get it done or let up on yourself until the new year. :)

sept15lija
12-21-2010, 07:12 AM
You can get back on plan! Go clothes shopping and look at some cute clothes in smaller sizes you would like...find something to completely distract you from food and focus on that. Just get through this one day, and the next day will be easier and easier. I know it's hard but it is so worth it to lose the weight - the momentary treat of food is just not even close to being worth living in a healthy body.

4xcharm
12-21-2010, 08:28 AM
For PinkHoodie, and for all of us. Inspiration is taken from the previous posts. The challenge of getting through today...each hour is a Victory!

Shmead
12-21-2010, 08:57 AM
If your old plan isn't working, try a new plan. I am a big believer that it's better to stick 100% to a more liberal plan than to stick 75% to a more restrictive plan.

This is what I am talking about: Jean and Suzie are both on a diet. Jean eats 1200 calories a day, but she is hungry all the time. Once a week or so she "gives in" and eats a big meal, moving her daily average up to 1600. Suzie eats 1600 calories a day, and is never stressed out or driven crazy by the desire to eat. They are on the exact same diet, but Suzie feels competent and in control, and Jean feels like a failure and a loser.

We commit to really strict plans because making them makes us feel powerful, but then not achieving them makes us feel lousy. Baby steps are ok, as long as you keep making them.

And it's ok to ease into a plan. Give yourself 3 days where you can eat as much as you want, but it all has to be healthy, non-trigger foods (and make a list in advance). That will clear some of the sugar out of your system and give you the confidence to move on to the next phase, re-learning to live with mild hunger.

I see you keep trying to go to the gym and failing. I'd adjust what you do there. For the next week, go every day, but plan to do half of what you normally do. It's harder to talk yourself out of half because it really doesn't seem like that big of a deal, so you don't dread it as much and you don't look as hard for excuses.

nelie
12-21-2010, 09:07 AM
I'm with Shmead. If what you are trying to do lately isn't working for you, try something else.

I've been struggling lately too and I'd start each day perfectly but somehow I wasn't following through I've been bouncing around the same damn 10 lbs the last 3 years but lately it seems even harder. I've had a lot of stresses lately and even more stress eating.

I looked into OA and saw that they recommend 3 meals day/no snacking. No snacking? Sounds ridiculous. What if I get hungry? Anyway, I've been doing it for 5 days and the scale is moving down, my clothes are fitting looser and I went to my first OA meeting last night.

I think you may just need to evaluate what isn't working and see how you can tweak it to work for you.

goal4agirl
12-21-2010, 11:07 AM
I really think I know how you are feeling. I am definitely starting to associate trigger foods with having screaming cravings. Here I have been going right along, eating very sensibly and wondering why in the heck I didn't do this sooner. It's really not so hard, I am satisfied with my food/diet, etc, blah blah BLAH!

A couple weeks ago, we had my daughter's sleepover bday party, and to avoid all the other snacks, I ate a footlong sub from Subway (a sensible one), and indulged in a piece of bday cake. The next day I was climbing the walls to just pig out. Honestly I was actually starting to understand why a drug addict would steal an old lady's purse to get some crack. I tried and tried to just remember how I HAD been feeling, that this was not so tough, that I have a good plan and I need to stick with it, but I was really, really uncomfortable and very distressed. Somehow I made it through that day. I did overeat, but I did it with carrots and low fat ranch, 1/2 a jar of pickles :o, meat. I pretty much ate all day long, but nothing that I suspected would be a trigger for me, even though those were what I wanted, and none of the food I ate took the "hunger" away. The next day was much less uncomfortable, and by the 3rd day I was pretty much back to my sanity.

I really think if you can get through one day without your trigger foods, it'll make a BIG difference toward getting back where you want to be mentally. I am really glad this has happened to me a couple times, because I'm seeing a pattern. Now I know that if I do veer off, there is going to be some discomfort involved. That helps me to avoid doing it very often, and it also has taught me that the unbelievable discomfort following IS temporary.

I don't know if you can recognize any of this in yourself because we are all so different in how food affects us. But I hope it helps!

:yes:

Lizz
12-21-2010, 11:32 AM
PinkHoodie, people far more experienced than me will be able to offer you good advice, I am sure of that so let me just give you my heartfelt encouragement and point of view: if I understand your tricker correctly you have already lost a great deal of weight - far more than I ever have in all the weight loss attempts of my life so far! I think you can be and should be so proud of that! :bravo:

I am sure that in the process you have overcome many challenges, just be confident that you will also handle this one. I mean, it is not about the holidays, or temptation, or failure - it is about you and the life you are building for yourself.

I am cheering for you. :hug:

Rosinante
12-21-2010, 11:38 AM
I want to echo all of the above brilliant advice, particularly the bit about: if it's not working, change it. Obviously, butterfly flittering between diets isn't a help but you don't have to grind on and on with something that's making you unhappy.
Believe me, you are not a failure! The only failure is totally abandoning it, and if that's what you'd done, there would be none of this kicking and screaming.

Sorry, I've forgotten what plan you're doing. If it's calorie counting, how about taking Now as Ground Zero and, for the next 2 weeks giving yourself what seems like a really splurgeous calorie budget? You might find you don't eat it all but if you do, you won't be failing, you'll be staying within your plan.
This way, you still have the routine of being in charge of your eating but you've deliberately given yourself a budget that accommodates and doesn't imprison.
:hug:

PinkHoodie
12-21-2010, 02:40 PM
You all give such great advice and encouragement. @ Shannon, this is what I have started to recognize about mysel too. I have been telling myself 3 days, but I keep giving in. I am determined that I will not give in today.
I also know part of it is, I want to be able to eat some of the food on Christmas. So in my mind its the all or nothing attitude. Oh I know I'm going to be eating bad on Christmas, so why not just the 2 or 3 weeks before too? I just need to get over that.
I didn't make it to the gym today, it was a horrible night of sleep which I'm sure is related to the horrible diet. I am just trying to focus on eating for the rest of this week too.
Thank you for putting up with me, thank you for encouraging me over and over again...I don't know what I would do without this board. I know I haven't been the best at supporting others, but I am grateful that there are people here who will support you no matter what. You all just make me feel like even though yesterday was a bad day, today and tomorrow and the rest of my life doesn't have to be. So thank you for that. :)

Jojo381972
12-22-2010, 12:54 AM
PinkHoodie, I can so relate to ya girl. I've been struggling this past week. I've started bingeing on junk, and just feeling out of control. I think I'm feeling a bit depressed at this time of year. I miss a lot of friends from abroad, and Christmas in the west is so commercialised I try to stay away from the stores, and food get togethers. I keep telling myself all the things that were motivating me in the first place to lose weight. Looking back and affirming all you have went through in the past is helping me. Baby steps help. Every day is a new one. Let tomorrow be a better day with better choices.

PinkHoodie
12-22-2010, 10:42 AM
Well I made it through day one on plan! I think I may have ate a little to many calories, but I am calling it a success. Now on to day two! :)

Bunti
12-22-2010, 12:13 PM
Good for you!! I can SO identify. This year my trigger foods (baked goods of any kind) are everywhere. And like an addict, it will get me started- it has to do with sugar and starch.

I understand and relate to what Shannon said.... once I get the addiction started, I am darn near irrational. I will eat sweets I don't even like, just to get the "fix". I have to avoid them.

And 3 days of discomfort is what it seems to take for me to get back on track. I am lucky in that artificial sweeteners don't trigger me, so I back down to good proteins, vegies, low gycemic fruits and if I need sweets I have diet jello with sugar free cool whip, or a diet root beer. On the third day it gets easier. I have found good low sugar/starch treats. Wish I could learn to stick to em.:?:

DixC Chix
12-22-2010, 02:21 PM
Atta Girl!!! Keep going!! Even small steps in the right direction will get you where you are going. :)

lazylioness
12-22-2010, 04:36 PM
I have been struggling as well. It sucks. This holiday season is hard for me, for many reasons. I just had to finally decide not to stress on it. I am not overdoing it and eating everything in sight, but I am just being a bit more relaxed about it, for the moment. If I stress on it, then it gets worse. Starting on Monday though, its back on!

vdander24
12-22-2010, 11:19 PM
I am SO glad you had a good day! That gives me hope! I have been struggling too.... Plenty of excuses, but overall, just bad choices. It doesn't help that there is junk food all over the place to accomodate my relatives who are snackers. Really, it is just me. My triggers are all over the place. There has not been more than one small soda in the house for the past 4 months, and now there are 4 CASES of soda. I have DEFINITELY been giving in to the temptation, which is on me and me alone.

PinkHoodie, Please hang in there and make it through day 2. I would like to live vicariously through your success, because I feel crappy right now.
LazyLioness, Hang in there! Monday will be here soon! (and hopefully, the rain will stop, so we can get out there and exercise!)

Quail
12-23-2010, 02:06 AM
Pinkhoodie, thanks for posting... your post and all of the responses really helped me. And good for you for sticking with it for a day!

Someone mentioned that sugar really is an addiction, and they couldn't be more correct. I've overindulged on sugar and carbs lately and right now I am c-r-a-v-i-n-g a sub sandwich on white bread. Simply craving it. If I can just get through the next few days without eating one, I know I'll feel better about myself.

Anyway, you are not alone. Keep going.

Sea
12-23-2010, 11:28 AM
Do you have a specific trigger food that sets off the craving? I cannot go near caffeine without massive cravings, but if I stay away from that, I do okay.

PinkHoodie
12-23-2010, 05:48 PM
I have identified a few trigger foods. French Fries and Pasta. Those really start a craving for me. Like if I have a candy bar, I am totally fine...but french fries will start me craving!
I am going to confess I only had one good day in there. But I have decided to just ease of myself for these last 2 days, and Sunday I will be starting detox. (South Beach Phase 1).
I have joined 2 weight loss challenges (one with a cash prize!) so I'm hoping that will be some good motivation for me, plus we really want to start training for the Susan G. Komen 5 K next May. I really want to be able to run the whole thing. Anyways, I appreciate all the support I find here!! You are all just WONDERFUL!