Here goes
This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not. We have all
had bad dates but this takes the cake.
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing
first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date
experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the
prize!
She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold... And the
guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was
a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met
before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home
late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually
began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about
an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her
companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for awhile.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point
where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it
would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked
her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so
she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic
and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think
about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the
situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another
sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her
buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen
to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from
the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to
the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the
moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a
reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some
assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her
sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out
laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose
themselves, they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real
problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from
the grip of the icy metal. Thinking about what had gotten her into the
predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one
way to get her free.
So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his
pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands
down.
Or perhaps that should be 'pants down. ' And you thought your first date was
embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment...'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'
Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting
next to her on the Leno show.
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