300+ Club - embarrassed and ashamed to come back to 3fc...been away so long now.

well, its been a long time since i first found 3fc...which was so exciting...and i was so happy and i worked so hard for several months and lost 68 pounds...then got side tracked..was lazy and ate and ate and ate some more and lost motivation and ate and well, now i weigh more than i did when i first came here...

i'm quite ashamed and extremely embarrassed....

but...i am trying to swallow my pride and i do remember such lovely friends here that i truly need your help...

scared to try again beause i don't want to be a failure!

can't wait unto the new year...so am trying to start now, its a new month and time for a new me...

Welcome back, don't be ashamed. It took courage to jump back on the bandwagon. It's a journey that we're all in together!

i'm gonna scoot over and share my boat! it will be okay, rainbow. you are not alone. i too was gone for a while, gained everything back, sigh....but i'm okay with it, all part of my journey.

glad you are back!

The only Failure is not trying....Welcome Back!!!:)

Fall down seven times, get up eight!

Don't be ashamed and just jump right in... there is no shame for coming back.

Hugs,
Ratkity

Welcome!!! Well, I am new (a month, now) so I never knew you were gone!! Good luck and glad you are here!

Most people get derailed in life so you are not alone. It's good that you found your way back to the track!

It takes a lot of courage to come back, and that's what you've got! Welcome back. We'd love to have you post on the "positive thread" where you tell everyone one positive that happened to you today. Here is the link. (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/300-club/214271-positive-uplifting-notification-one-positive-thing-about-me-today-part-twelve.html)

Hi Rainbow, welcome back!! I know just how you feel, on on my 3rd time coming back to 3FC. I've been back since May now. I really believe this time is the keeper. They say it takes smokers a few false-starts to quit, I think it's the same with weight loss sometimes. Every single time we fail or gain some weight back, we can use those experiences to learn. There's no shame in coming back, a lot of us have been there. I would absolutely love to share this journey with you, so keep us posted, will ya?!

Welcome back!! Good luck with your efforts!! 2011 will be the losing streaks for us all!!

thank you everyone :) it sure means alot to hear how some of you too, have started over...and are still going strong!! i want to be like that!

Beautyandthegeek...yes you are right...we ARE ALL in this TOGETHER! thats why i had such success before i am sure...because of all the support and encouragement.

Pipernoswiper...you know something...i never thought about it like you did...how you said, but i'm ok with it...i need to find that attitude because i'm not alright with it..i'm so mad at myself and disgusted...my clothes don't fit...i can hardly walk...and i'm so mad because i was feeling so good, and was becoming more and more active, riding my bike 15 miles at a time! and now i feel angry at msyelf!! i am in awe at your attitude!! :)

joyfulloser....i REALLY like your name...i need to find that inner JOY as i lose...because its a struggle!! thank you for reminding me that the only failure is not trying...i needed that!!

ratkitty....{{hugs}} i remember you :) thanks for your encouragement...so glad to see you :)

Vdander24....well, welcome to 3fc....i remember there being some AMAZING LADIES here...always willing to listen and help!!! i wish you much success!!

Winterjinx....i like your little picture...one tough cookie...i ened to learn how to become a "tough cookie"!!! you're right...i do know i am not alone...still...its hard to come back and not feel bad!! :( i wanted to much to be a good example and lift others up and i feel like i let everyone down!! but i am going to try and change that way of thinking!

CJZee...thanks for letting me know about the "positive" thread...what a great idea!! Thanks also for saying i have courage....that sure make me smile!! :)

ShannonMB ... wow...THANK YOU....your post is very encouraging!! it is a journey and sharing our experiences, good or bad, can always help someone. thanks for reminding me of that!! I have no doubt that this time is YOUR time!!

LiliAnn...oooo i like what you said...about 2011 being the "losing streak" for all of us....how thrilling...let the bew year begin!! i am getting ready now!! thanks to all of your encouraging words!!

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!

It happens - I'm not doing so well myself right now.
The important thing is that you are not giving up!!
You came back here and thats huge, you didn't just
pretend its not happening.

I think it's GREAT and shows even GREATER promise for SUCCESS that you decided to start at a time of year which gives most people ISSUES..lol! That shows you have the correct mindset (no time better than the present) and not the "I'll start on Monday" attitude.

Like everyone already said, this is not unusual...it also happened to me (losing, then gaining back more than you lost...grrrrrhhhhh!). But you know what? This time we're gonna APPRECIATE it, appreciate how good we feel...appreciate our physical progress and newfound abilities...appreciate living a healthy life!!!

Congrats on the 1st day of the rest of your life!:) WOOT!:carrot:

i'm quite ashamed and extremely embarrassed....

.


Don't be. I don't think there are many, if any of us who have succeeded at the first go around.

I personally was here in 2006, lost 90 pounds....got lazy, complacent, thought I had it all under control, and woosh, 90 pounds back....right where I started. Started back on January 1, 2010, lost 30 pounds....got lazy....gained 15 back. Then I decided I had HAD ENOUGH on October 4th of this year, and here I am for good this time. It is not an option for me to fail anymore. I have decided to commit for one year.....and let's see where I end up. I am just considering my other attempts, practice.....so now I know what to do. But, I firmly believe, you have to have your head in this game, and be ready 110 percent to do it....or you won't succeed.

You don't want to be in the position AGAIN of thinking in one year........."I wish I had started a year ago." Do You???

I like what was said previously about changing the attitude about coming back - shed yourself of the shame and embarrassment and replace it with determination. I know... easy to say, right?

Ripping yourself apart for yet another failure sure doesn't help the old self-esteem. Someone once told me that "it's hard to walk forward if you have one foot kicking yourself in the ***". The mental picture of that always made me smile.

Shame, guilt and embarrassment are (unfortunately) ingrained into lots of people who are MO (I was gonna say "all", but know there are always exceptions). Trying to replace those feelings when it comes to my size has always been an issue for me and something I am working on today with the help of a therapist.

I am glad you are back and this goes for all the lurkers who feel the same, but are afraid to post!! Welcome back!!!!!

Hugs,
Ratkity

odonnela...thank you for your encouraging words...i had to laugh when i read the part about...you didn't just PRETEND its not happening!!! HAHAHA because...actually, thats EXACTLY what i did!! i kept gaining a little at a time, and i KNEW it...because i had lost 68 pounds, i went down 3 pant sizes...but each time i gained 20 pounds i had to dig out the old pants i was so elated that had gotten too big!! but they were my old comfy "friend" jeans...like hello old lost friend...here i am again...and i thought well this is not so bad...not SO bad...but really it was, it was terrible!! WHY DIDN'T I JUST STOP RIGHT THERE, AS SOON AS I GAINED THE 1ST 5 POUNDS BACK???? AND GET RIGHT BACK TO BUSINESS????that is what i don't understand. i WAS pretending like it wasn't happening. i was mad at myself, beat myself up, gained 10 more pounds, and believe it or not, ATE OUT OF SPITE towards myself!! has anyone else ever done that?? I was like, FINE...JUST EAT WHAT YOU WANT WHEN YOU WANT...you can't do this...and before i knew it, had gained all my weight back. How do I change that knid of thinking?? arghhhh

joyfulloser....i hadn't thought about it like that...all i know is i was thinking, ok at the first of the year...i am gonna start again...try again...but needed support, and have no local support, so thought again about how i found 3fc...but thought how can i go back when i just quit before...i was ashamed i had gained and didnt know what to say on here...others were still losing and still so happy and i was miserable...i felt horrible...but then last week, i was like, ok, i can't wait until the new year, i can't wait until dec 1st, so i actually started on sunday the 28th. why sunday?? why the ned of a month?? i don't know. i just know i woke up and said, THIS HAS TO STOP NOW! it took me some time to post here that first post back...i typed it and deleted it several times...i think i was like a little kid holding something behind their back that they accidentally broke, and trying to get the courage to tell mummy...i broke this! haha ... well....3fc...something broke...and i need help fixing it!! thanks for helping me understand joyfulloser that i'm not alone!!

HadEnough...wow...90 pounds what an excellent job, well done!! i know you can do it again!! i absolutely LOVE WHAT YOU SAID about thinking of your other attemps as PRACTICE!! that is GENIUS!!! it sure give my head a new concept to wrap around....instead of the word "failure". after all, all great athletes practice and practice and practice!!!
I think in the future, if i have an "off" day....i will not beat myself up, i will just say, oh well, that was a practice day!! hahaha splendid idea!! then the next day i will be ready to be back in "training". PRACTICE DAYS...vs TRAINING DAYS. i can live with that!!!

Someone once told me that "it's hard to walk forward if you have one foot kicking yourself in the ***". The mental picture of that always made me smile.
Hugs,
Ratkity

well now...ratkity....that is quite a hilarious mental picture!! thats for giving me a good smile this morning!! I am going to try hard to focus now on moving forward...and leaving that book out of my...well, you know where! haha
have a beautiful day!!! listen to some christmas music!!! be happy!!
susan

Don't worry too much about what you did in the past. The only thing that matters now is that you are here and doing the right thing! The next phase of your life starts now and you know you can do it because you've done it before!

Good to meet you! As for the shame... Losing weight and keeping it off is hard because it's not like we can just stop eating, we'll always need to eat food to nourish our bodies. Getting back on the weight loss horse after it's thrown you is not an easy thing to do, but here you are! Confronting the gain, and determining to lose again is already a major victory. And deciding to start now instead of putting it off until the New Year tells me that you are ready! I'm queen of the I'll Start Dieting/Exercising Tomorrow crowd. ;)

welcome back!, don't be ashamed or embarrassed, we are here to encourage not to judge :hug: , the fact that you lost weight before is all that matters because you know how you did it and you can do it again! at least you came back!

lifeasme....yes you are so right...if i just do what i did before, it should work again...only this time, i need to do it for longer than 4 months!!!

kathleanagain....do u spell you name kathlean...or is that a very clever pun!! i love it...KathLEANagain..."confronting the gain"....yes...confronting...i like that word and concept...i mean, its not like its hard to notice...haha...when your clothes no longer fit...but i like the idea of confronting...maybe i just need to give that "gain" a piece of my mind and tell it to take a hike!! and never come back! hahaha

honeybee...THANK YOU thank you....i think i knew if i came back, i would not be judged...not by the lovely friends here at 3fc...but do you know how many family members DO judge?? part of my feeling like such a failure was hearing it from people who supposedly love me and are family!! whats up with that??

thank you all for your uplifting and encouraging words...it helps eo know others have struggled and had to start over again! :)

have a beautiful day!

Yup, it's a pun. I actually go by Kate or Katie. And technically I've never been lean, I've been overweight since I was old enough to toddle around and shove food in my mouth. But all that is changing! I'm no longer ignoring my weight issue and avoiding the scale like a vampire avoids the sun. :)

You are back that is the important thing, Good Luck !

Welcome back :hug:
3FC is a soft place to fall, it's a much needed hug.
It's a resting place for those of us weary of the often cruel human nature. It's a gentle guide and firm support.
When we feel we just can't take one more day, minute, second it will give us strength.
It's a calming voice when everything else is crazy.
It's a place that says YES instead on NO, it tells us we CAN when everyone else says we CAN'T.
We try. . . Damn do we try, and in trying we risk failure, however, here we do NOT risk ridicule, taunts, jealousy.

I wish I had of found this place a long time ago. And I'm so glad that you have found it once again :)

I am right there with you...I could have even wrote your post, but what's important is to be back and getting the support from all of the great people here. I have not found another place like this that continues to inspire me everyday. Honestly, I don't think I would even be reading this now if it weren't for some great words of encouragement that I received last week.

kathlean....its GREAT you are doing an outstanding job....just look at how much weight you have lost already!! what an inspiration!!!!! keep up the good work!

bargoo....thanks so much for your support!! wow....just look at your accomplishment! WOW....90 lbs lost!!!!!!!!!! thats AMAZING!! and then...6 pounds PAST your goal!! i just can't even imagine how that must feel. it seems like my goal is a lifetime away and unreachable.

We try. . . Damn do we try, and in trying we risk failure, however, here we do NOT risk ridicule, taunts, jealousy.


lani....what a great post!! its so true...here at 3fc there is always someone who can relate and understand. maybe thats why i wanted to come back so badly...

ktfaith05....well just look at YOU....coming back, starting again, and already you have a mini goal set!! i am very impressed and super proud of you and that is a great inspiration!!! i haven't even thought about any mini goal...its was all i could do just to come post here again!! thanks for being here!! i wish you all the success!! i have no doubt you will go very far with your goals!! have a beautiful day!!!

Welcome back! :welcome2:

I have been here over 11 years now (how sad is that?!) and have quit and started over many, many times. I understand how you feel :)

There is nothing to be embarrassed about at all. The most important thing is that you are here and wanting to change, regardless of what's gone on in the past.

Looking forward to seeing your posts and getting to know you!

Welcome back! :welcome2:

I have been here over 11 years now (how sad is that?!) and have quit and started over many, many times. I understand how you feel :)

There is nothing to be embarrassed about at all. The most important thing is that you are here and wanting to change, regardless of what's gone on in the past.

Looking forward to seeing your posts and getting to know you!

Thanks Ruby2sday....and welcome back to you as well!!! we are ALL in this together!! as long as we KEEP TRYING...there is NO failure!! have a blessed day.
susan

Rain , I came back I gained back ten pounds before coming back here. I told myself I can do this. No matter how many times you fall it's getting back up and doing it again is what counts, welcome back. One day one pound at a time.

i hated for so long that i let myself go. i hated it. one of the things that really helped is listening to IOWL. inside out weightloss. renee talks about intuitive eating. its a free podcast. just google inside out weightloss.

it's not for everyone, it's not a magic pill. it really helped me to change my thinking. make sure you do the HW each week. and just listen to 1 or 2 a week.
you get out of it what you put in.
some important lessons
1. figure out your motivation. away from motivation- away from how you feel now, clothes not fitting etc.

what's positive? what's your positive motivation? write the down. be as descriptive as possible. put it in positive terms.
our subconcious is a 2 year old. we say 'no cake' and he hears 'cake' hey! she said theres cake! off plan, off plan red alert! we're having cake(insert trigger food, pizza so on)
ok lets not go there.

instead, we talk about what we WILL do.
be healthy. -be specific.
fit in certain places, do certain things,

plan. be specific.

now whats your back up plan?

2. you have been given a gift. a gift? yes. you found out how not to make a light bulb. now you have a wealth of experiences. examine your trigger foods. your environment. i really regreted getting to where i was, but now i know i had to hit bottom. that was my bottom. once i got started, i was determined it WILL work THIS TIME!

and you can too! you can do this! we have a wealth of support here. a whole community of men and women who HAVE succeeded. gotten to goal or to 100's. hundreds, thousands of tips, ideas to help you. support you. we are all in this together, giving eachother a hug (or kick in the butt lol) each day.

join a group. figure out your plan. the best plan for YOU is the plan YOU stick with. post it if you want. let us know when you're having a great day, a challenging day, when you need a kick in the pants! haha! we're here for you. the most important part of weightloss is getting back up.

YOU CAN DO THIS! LET'S GET FIRED UP!

thank you katy....your post has sure given me a LOT to think about. i never thought about it...but i really dont even have a plan...i just started...so i am going to work on my plan!! thanks!!:carrot:

tracyb....welcome back!!!! :) you were super smart...about coming back after only 10 pounds!!! i let over a year go by!! so happy you are back :) :hug:

Well Rain I got my wedding dress it's up in my closest and it's a size 16 w I am currently in a 24-26 I figure that by the time I get married I'll be in that dress or have it taken it, the reason I bought it so early was it was on sale, it was the one I wanted and the 16w was the smallest they had in the woman's sizes and a size eight in the misses, I dont think I'll ever be an eight but ah well. I told myself ten pounds is to much to let creep up on me I need to get back and do it for me, for my health. No one else. Not even my darling soon to be hubby.It's good to be back and great to meet you.!

Well Rain I got my wedding dress it's up in my closest and it's a size 16 w I told myself ten pounds is to much to let creep up on me I need to get back and do it for me, for my health. :

:cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer:
cheering u on to that gorgeous 16 dress!!!!!!!!! i know you can do it!!!

You are back that is what is important. Welcome and good luck !

You are back that is what is important. Welcome and good luck !
yes, u r so right!!
thanks bargoo!! wow....90 lbs lost!! i will take ANY advice you offer :)
LOOK AT YOU!!! so super close to GOAL!!! :hug: that is so amazing!!! keep up the good work!!

do you know what's different now? changes to make in your exercise and food plan, environment, reprogramming your mind?
i'm happy to help if i can. hopefully you can give that podcast a listen.

Welcome back! I think it is great you returned!

Welcome and good luck. It is never too late to start again. I did it many times before I was successful.

thanks desidoo and bargoo....i had a good 4 weeks except the christmas splurg week, but back on track again and ready for the new year!!

:welcome: Back, RAIN ~ this is the best choice you could have made ... coming back. I think persistance & perserverance are more important than perfection. Just keep on coming back -- ya, you will have good days and notsogood days; but overall, you will see some progress. The longer we stick with it, the more progress we'll see. I have been here awhile; and I am still losing inches and sizes, and some lbs here and there. I'm a snail, but I'm still improving and that is what matters the most, I think ...

And you can do it too ... glad you came back!!! :hug:

:welcome: Back, RAIN ~ this is the best choice you could have made ... coming back. I think persistance & perserverance are more important than perfection. Just keep on coming back -- ya, you will have good days and notsogood days; but overall, you will see some progress. The longer we stick with it, the more progress we'll see. I have been here awhile; and I am still losing inches and sizes, and some lbs here and there. I'm a snail, but I'm still improving and that is what matters the most, I think ...

And you can do it too ... glad you came back!!! :hug:

WOW!!! 86 pounds lost!!! THAT IS FAN-TAS-TIC!!! Thank you for reminding me that we will have good days and not so good days....but the thing to remember is that all of my friends are here and they understand. THANK YOU SO MUCH. you are most certainly improving and being a great inspirataion for people like me trying again!! thank you thank you!! happy new year!!

Never feel embarassed to return to where you will be accepted and encouraged and respected. Life is a journey and sometimes we walk past the right street a few times before figuring everything out. Welcome back!!




ps....I am in a similar situation as I am returning again, after just stuffing my face with macaroni salad.

Never feel embarassed to return to where you will be accepted and encouraged and respected. Life is a journey and sometimes we walk past the right street a few times before figuring everything out. Welcome back!!




ps....I am in a similar situation as I am returning again, after just stuffing my face with macaroni salad.

you are SO right....acceptance and encouragement is so vital and uplifting...we can share good days and not so good days!! i am so thankful for good friends!!
welcome back yourself...WE CAN DO THIS!!

Life isn't always Diet Coke and sunshine and sometimes with drop our basket and things get messed up. The important thing is to pick your basket up and start again.

I have been coming and going for almost 3 years, but I always feel welcome. I meet new people and learn new tips every time. We shouldn't be embarrassed about coming back. I'm more ashamed when I don't visit the forums.

Welcome back & best of luck!

I have been coming and going for almost 3 years, but I always feel welcome. I meet new people and learn new tips every time. We shouldn't be embarrassed about coming back. I'm more ashamed when I don't visit the forums.

Welcome back & best of luck!

i know what u mean....about being ashamed when you don't post or visit the forum....which made it harder each week i missed to come back...but i am back now and trying a challenge!! :) you are right....lots and lots of beautiful and supportive people here!!

rainbowsmiles I just saw this thread. I wanted to hop in and tell you Hi! :wave: You are doing a great job! Have a wonderful day!

Welcome back!! You were always here, even when you weren't posting. :) (((hugs)))