General chatter - The Big Change I've been waiting for has happened, But now I'm SCARED TO DEATH.




RienQueNny
11-30-2010, 04:38 PM
Wow well, I don't really know how to describe how I'm feeling right now...
It happened again. I wanted something to happen to me so bad, dreamed about it, thought about it, planned it out, wished for it to happen that it happened. But the timing is all wrong.

I've been trying to lose weight since I was 13 years old, which was 12 years ago. I spent 12 years of my life researching nutrition and exercise and body chemistry and reading labels and scrutinizing everything I eat, and even though it hasn't lead me to my goal yet (but I have lost altogether a bit over 50 pounds since I was 16) that I believe that I could probably become a really good teacher. For a while now, maybe about a year, I've been wanting to become a fitness trainer once I bring myself down to a healthy weight. I enjoy working with people and I'm finally enjoying exercise, and I think it's something I could do for a living and be happy and content. So my plan was, put myself through my weight loss journey while I'm at my current job of BILL COLLECTOR(ewww!), when I get down to 150 pounds I can sign up for the course and by the time I'm done I'm probably going to be at my healthy weight and I can start helping other people do it to.
But as we speak, I'm still technically "obese", and REALLY don't see myself in a fitness trainer's course. Can you imagine...? I can. :|

Well anyhow. I haven't lost the 25 pounds or so I need to lose to get to 150 pounds, but this morning I sure as **** lost my job.
I don't know what to do now. When I wished so hard for a good job with benefits and a good pay, I got it. Now I lost that job, because I've been wanting so bad to go back to school. It also means I lost my life/dental insurance,medication plan insurance, and also my gym membership (GGRRR!!!). I'm only got to sign up for RRSP this year (after 2 years of employment) so I'm going to be able to either transfer them into another account, or cash them out, and it's going to be about $500 I think. Great, at least it's going to pay January's rent.

I don't believe in "everything happens for a reason" but it's a trend I can't ignore. 3 years ago I was working at a small shop, wasn't making much money, long hours, long commute. I wanted something better, for months I wrote about it, thought about it. And finally, I got it, a job 15 minutes away from home, almost double the pay, full benefits, great environment. I bettered myself through this job, I learned a lot, I made good friends.

Now that I've been wanting, wishing, hoping, planning and dreaming this whole "going back to school to be a fitness trainer" thing, I lost my job... to give me some free time to go back to school, perhaps? I feel like I could better myself again over that time... But I'm scared to death and I'm not ready. I wanted to lose weight before I go to school! One of those courses starts in January, but I believe it's too late to sign up. Another one starts in May, which is the one I was aiming for. But now I may have the option to have unemployment insurance PAY for my course. I said "may" because I'm not sure. They have done it for many people I know. But my problem is, I'M WAY TOO FAT TO GO THROUGH A FITNESS TRAINING COURSE?!!? Look at me, seriously, I can't run a half mile.

I'm going to have to find a new job regardless, but if EI is willing to pay for my course or for part of it if I take it now, it would be stupid not to do it just because I'm not in good enough shape to be a trainer yet, no?
What should I do, what would you guys do if you were in my shoes?

I'm a confused and sad panda this morning :(
And REALLY REALLY REALLY TRYING TO NOT EAT MY WAY THROUGH THE DAY :nono:


rachael
11-30-2010, 05:27 PM
I don't think you are too fat to start a fitness training course. Why don't you start working out and get as fit as you can before the course starts and then let them do the rest for you? I bet you'll surprise yourself.

I'm sorry you lost your job, though.

matt_H
11-30-2010, 05:29 PM
May is a long time away and that would be plenty of time to get as healthy as possible before starting your course. I'm sorry to hear about your job situation, but maybe fate is leading down to this path?

Its the incentive you need to kick butt over these next 5 months and feel confident going into the course!


emaline29
11-30-2010, 05:33 PM
And I second that. Take the bull by the horns - as they say- and go for it! You have nothing to lose and more than likly will gain by being bold and taking that step.
All the very best to you.:)

atreyyena
11-30-2010, 06:18 PM
definitely go for it. I never thought of myself as any sort of runner. sure I could walk, but not jog in any sense. Over the course of two months or so I worked up to being able to run a mile. These things aren't as difficult as they sound, although they Can be difficult. But the hardest part isn't Running the mile, it's getting out and starting to move.

There's also a big difference between weight and fitness, or there can be. I don't think you should let the number hold you back. I've always been technically obese, although no one believes me about it. I lift weights and exercise, and generally try to be healthy. my most recent blood pressure was 108/64 I think. I'm not saying this to brag, but I guess I'm trying to point out that the two most important things a fitness trainer needs are knowledge (which it sounds like you have) and enough fitness to lead sessions (which is very very possible to work up to).

Don't hold yourself back. Live your life in a way that you don't regret your mistakes, only the opportunities you didn't work for. Good luck!

winning the war
11-30-2010, 06:20 PM
I think it would be great to take the course now! You can test all the things you learn on yourself, which would make you a better, more empathetic trainer! Snag this opportunity and be your own first success story :o)

MiZTaCCen
11-30-2010, 10:05 PM
Here's how I see it, your going to school to better your life and you're going to stop that because of the lack of confidence you have in yourself because of the weight you are at. I'd say that's a pretty stupid reason not to go through with something. You have to train yourself to do thing.

I took police foundations and no matter what we had to get to 6.5 on the beep test by the final (at the time I was over weight but in the process of losing weight. I was about 160 at the time). The first week of school we had to do the testing and I couldn't even make it to the 1 mark before quitting. (this was before I began working out to drop my weight, I started doing it in year two) Every monday we had the gym class for two hours and THAT was the ONLY time I was practicing my running... Well week 4 into the fitness part we had to do the beep test again and from running 1 day a week I had managed to get up to 5.5 on the beep test. (My teacher was shocked because a few weeks before I couldn't even manage to get up to 1.5, he thought I had been working out every day to get to the progress when really it was the only 1 day a week.)

Year two, We had to get up to 6.5 in order to pass the course. That was when I began losing all my weight. I was doing Carmen Electra striptease video's 1 and 2 (and if you've ever done them they are not that much of a workout) and after I did an hour of them a day I went for a jog three times a week. I was always able to get up to 5.5 after that but never could I make it to 6, or 6.5 until one day someone told me, it's just 10 more runs, push yourself, and on that final day the guy ran beside me and when it hit 5.5 I wanted to quit and he started counting down and I ran through it passing the course. Also for that year I had lost my weight and was back down to 140after working out and pushing myself.

The point is I was not in the best shape, but it's something I had wanted to do. Because it was a goal for me to loose weight and feel great about myself. I didn't let my weight stop me from passing my course and like some other people I didn't allow the fear I won't make it to 6.5 and fail get to me either. I worked at it and I wasn't going to let anything stop me from getting to where I wanted to be in life.

So who cares if your not at your goal weight yet. You have the course to work at it while your in school and trust me when you have the opportunity to GO and do something you have wanted to do. TAKE IT, because you never know when another chance is going to come around. Life takes unexpected curves at you and sometimes you'll have to go down a different path just to get back to the one you want to be at. So forget about your weight issue, **** it might motivate you and help you loose the weight faster...

:)

RienQueNny
12-01-2010, 04:37 PM
You guys are literally just telling me what my head has been telling me except without the negative points haha

I haven't been able to speak with employment insurance about the whole thing, I do however just got in touch with one girl who used to work with me at that job and who was let go in August, well right now she's on EI but they're paying for her to go back to school in the new year. So I'm going to sit down with her and ask her how it worked out for her and how she did it, and hopefully I'll be able to go down the same route.
I really don't think I can still sign up for January, as per their website it says that registrations are closed. There is one course starting in March, and one starting in May. I don't know which one I'll be able to sign up for, I'm guessing I will probably be pushed towards the March course. Which is fine with me, that' 3 months for me to be bored and paranoid and broke and living off my savings and employment insurance, but if it means that in those 3 months I am able to work hard on myself (after all it's all I have to freaking do), work out and go exercise for a couple hours every day and carefully plan my meals now that I have more time... I don't think there is anything that could hinder me.

I know I can get down to 150 pounds by March, that's for sure, I just have to put the effort into it. You guys make me think that it really needs to be done. Because it's true, if I don't take that opportunity I might end up finding another dead-end job and get stuck there, and wish I would've done things differently again, and have to wait another 3 years for something to come up. I'm scared to death, but I'm going to do it. It's probably going to be hard but I'm willing to work hard, and besides it might help me lose more weight as I go through the classes. And seriously, no matter how physically exhausting or embarrassing it may be, it can't be worse than spending my days arguing with people over the phone. I REALLY don't want to go back to doing that.

Ciao
12-01-2010, 10:26 PM
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Sending you much support! :hug:
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