Weight Loss Support - I am so sad this AM and I feel desperate.




Runundefined
11-30-2010, 05:40 AM
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y226/CaryMartin/1sad-1.jpg

I've not posted in a long time. I woke at 4am this morning and could not go back to sleep. My body hurts, my heart hurts I am sad and so tired of being fat. I just feel like I have once again let myself down. Here it is almost the end of another year and I have not lost this weight.

I can't get comfortable. My back and hips hurt.. even in bed. I hurt sitting, I hurt walking very long. This is WRONG! I have got to do this. I have got to finally help myself.

The first step I am making is to come here, I have got to get in a supportive group. I really need a helping push and some guidance back in the right direction right now.

With Christmas (and FOUR family birthdays coming up in Dec, two sisters, my DH and my own on Christmas Eve) I could really pack on even more weight in Dec. Somehow I have got to get back on track instead!


BelovedK
11-30-2010, 05:55 AM
I just want to give you :hug: I'm sorry you're sad :( Sometimes it takes getting to this point to actually make the changes we need to.

rockinrobin
11-30-2010, 05:57 AM
Hi. Good to see you.

I'm glad you're back and ready to take another stab at this.

Be determined, be CERTAIN that this is your time. Make it a tippy, tippy, tippy top priority. Make it your job, your mission!!!! Become passionate about it. Get excited, get into it. Don't dread it. But celebrate it, embrace it.

That being said - Do you have a plan? A strategy, a mode of attack? How are you going about taking the weight off? What will you make certain is different this time to ensure your success?


Runundefined
11-30-2010, 06:14 AM
Hi!
Thank you for your posts! I was suprised you guys were up this early..
BelovedK.. thank you for the hug *smile*.. I really need it right now.

Hi Rockin'Robin,
What a powerful post. You have a great way with words and it's very motivational too!

I have been on so many diets, I am sure most of us here have. I can't count how many.

I do know that for me extremes have never worked. What HAS worked in the past is simple counting calories and allowing myself to eat whatever I truly want in correct portions.. and well of course asking myself if I TRULY want that particular food more than good weight loss that week.

Also exercise. I have not even gone on a walk in weeks. I had great success a couple of years ago just counting calories and walking 40min each morning.

I am going to start back to the walking today. I am sure I won't be able to do 40 min but I am getting out there.

I have planned my food for the day today also. I used to have the entire day planned out.. down to 2-3 avail. snacks if I needed them.

Today I did that and right now I am working on a grocery list... to get the right things in the house.

Thank you so much again to both of you. It's good to be back on this site.

rockinrobin
11-30-2010, 06:29 AM
What HAS worked in the past is simple counting calories and allowing myself to eat whatever I truly want in correct portions

I mean no disrespect, but how has this worked in the past, if you haven't lost the weight and kept it off?

Two quotes come to mind - "The definition of insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different results" and "If you want what you do not have, you must do what you have not done".

The thing is many, many foods it's next to impossible to eat in the *correct* portions. Just like an alcoholic can't have vodka in the *correct* portions.

Wait, here's a current thread I'd like you to take a look at and really, really read...
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/218393-how-can-so-hard-just-not-eat-something-bad.html

Runundefined
11-30-2010, 06:43 AM
Hi Rockin'Robin.. I am off to read the thread (thank you!) but I wanted to post that I should have been more explanatory....

I have lost over 70# once in the past and did it with counting calories and exercise. I did allow myself to have what I truly wanted but found myself talking myself out of "truly wanting" many things that were not in line with me getting healthy.

I then went thru a major life shift (lost my job and moved to another state away from my support group) and fell back to comfort eating and gained most of it back but what I meant was that I know what has worked in the past. I am sure I do have lots of mental food issues to deal with, like why I had to turn to food for comfort when I knew it would just sabotage me.. but I did consider the months that I was successful a great lesson on what was working (at that time), I just have to get back to that place mentally.

seagirl
11-30-2010, 06:49 AM
Something I find helpful is to not think that Birthday/Holiday = Eat Everything. I see that a lot here, celebrations coming up and people saying that they'll gain weight because of it. Think of the fit people you know, what are they eating at those gatherings? Are they huddled around the food table or are they joining the party, just eating a moderate amount? Did they work out that morning before coming? And probably had a healthy breakfast, and are planning a healthy dinner and maybe they even brought healthy snacks to the party.

When I started my walking program I used to say to myself "I'm one of those people who walks every morning." You could use something similar like "I'm one of those people who doesn't use holidays as an excuse to overeat." "I'm one of those people rounding folks up to go for a walk after dinner."

Runundefined
11-30-2010, 07:01 AM
Hi Seagirl!

Lovely post. I need to change my thinking. I do. I usually do all this baking for the holidays and host cookie parties and an annual fondue party at my house for my friends and family and we have a huge family (I have 5 sisters) and I am the oldest and always responsible for keeping "the traditions" alive. I need to make some new traditions that don't involve gluttony. I am thinking about canceling the fondue party anyway, it's just too much.. too much food, too much work, too much period.

Thank so much for your post!

seagirl
11-30-2010, 07:06 AM
Good luck! Those sound like great plans! And building new traditions can be fun.

And, hey, count the calories in your breakfast to make sure you're getting enough fuel for your day. 4 egg whites only have about 70 calories, add that to 65 calories for the whole egg, and maybe 20 for the veggies and 35 for a teaspoon of oil - That's less than 200 calories and might not be enough.

rockinrobin
11-30-2010, 07:32 AM
G

And, hey, count the calories in your breakfast to make sure you're getting enough fuel for your day. 4 egg whites only have about 70 calories, add that to 65 calories for the whole egg, and maybe 20 for the veggies and 35 for a teaspoon of oil - That's less than 200 calories and might not be enough.

I keep my breakfasts at just about or under 200 calories. This works out great for me. I like to eat and re-fuel as the day progresses. For me, eating more at an early hour doesn't work. We are all different though.

I then went thru a major life shift (lost my job and moved to another state away from my support group) and fell back to comfort eating and gained most of it back but what I meant was that I know what has worked in the past. I am sure I do have lots of mental food issues to deal with, like why I had to turn to food for comfort when I knew it would just sabotage me.. but I did consider the months that I was successful a great lesson on what was working (at that time), I just have to get back to that place mentally.

I'd love for you to have a recovery plan in place for not if, but when you have a mis-step. . Decide right this minute what you will do and how you will handle it.

I'd also love for you to have a plan in place for when you can't plan. Easier go to healthy foods that you WILL turn to instead of the *other* stuff.

It was/is also very important for me to keep my food totally and completely separate from whatever's going on in my life. I eat what I eat. Period. It's automated. It doesn't change even though my circumstances may. My food is my food and isn't altered by situations. I have a condition that needs to be monitored and only certain foods will suffice. It's important and it matters. I take it very seriously!

I'm look forward to hearing of your progress. :)

nelie
11-30-2010, 08:07 AM
Run,

You can do this. It is one foot in front of the other. You know something that helped me when I first started and I didn't discover it again until I read Beck diet solution? An index card, in my pocket that listed the reasons I wanted to lose weight. You've posted here your reasons, can you carry them with you through the month of December? When you are faced with challenges, you'll be armed with your reasons.

Also, even though you are a calorie counter and you will give yourself freedom to eat whatever you want, I'd also suggest being prepared for wherever you go. If you are going to a party, take a food item that you will eat and will help you stay on plan. Have a plan of attack like calorie cycling so you eat lower calories on other days that way you have more calories to play with on the day of the events.

I'd also suggest you keep coming back here because we are here for you.

nationalparker
11-30-2010, 09:41 AM
Find the calorie amount that's right for you - Seagirl is right, that might be too low right now - others at lower weight can get going on less, I've found.

If you have time (or can MAKE time) check out Beck Diet Solution - it's a good addition to any healthy eating program. It has you come up with different strategiest to handle challenging situations, realize WHY you want to lose excess weight, etc. Interesting. Some are things we all know ... yet don't do ... others are good ideas that might be new to you.

justaloozer
11-30-2010, 10:20 AM
:hug: I know how you feel. The past few days I have been in a real funk and am trying my best to pull myself out of it. I hate being fat. REALLY hate it. But I sabotage myself by doing things in a way that doesn't help me lose weight. Then I get sad when I see the scale go up. It's a stupid cycle that I logically know I need to break to see what I want.

Eliana
11-30-2010, 11:11 AM
I'd also love for you to have a plan in place for when you can't plan. Easier go to healthy foods that you WILL turn to instead of the *other* stuff.


Ah yes, the go-to meals. Mine have changed. I plan but there are nights I don't have a plan as life just sort of happens...a lot. :dizzy: My new go-to meals are chicken stir-fry, as I always have frozen chicken and frozen veggies on hand. My other go-to meal is a rotisserie chicken from Meijer (Kroger, Walmart, wherever). We're fortunate to live right across the street so it's just as easy as hitting McDonalds. Worst case scenario I run in and pick up a rotisserie chicken and two frozen veggie sides. Easy. In a time pinch, I'll do McDonald's grilled chicken sandwich, no may, and I split the bottom bun in half and use each half as top and bottom. That's just over 200 calories for the whole sandwich, doctored that way. It's rare I do that.

Furthermore, I'd love to see you analyze yourself as you start this process of getting back into the game mentally. It is hard to get the start but it sounds like the spark has ignited. ;) For me, I always know that once I have three days (three GRUELING days) of clean eating under my belt I will be good to go. If you can just hang on for three days, you can do anything.

My favorite tip, which I hand out all the time (sorry frequent readers), is to set a time frame for yourself. I chose to remain committed to plan for one year without any excuses. I was not allowed to give up for a year no matter what. I did this because giving up in the face of slow weight loss was my biggest problem. Once I conquered that problem, the weight has come off. My year has come and gone and I've made a new commitment to a new year of staying on plan no matter what. And each year for the rest of my life I will recommit to this lifestyle. During that first year, it was all about forming habits and it worked really, really well. What I'm doing now is just me. There's no going back because this is now just me. To that end, you might consider a set time frame of a couple months, six months, a year, 12 weeks that you can commit to.

justaloozer
11-30-2010, 11:21 AM
My favorite tip, which I hand out all the time (sorry frequent readers), is to set a time frame for yourself. I chose to remain committed to plan for one year without any excuses. I was not allowed to give up for a year no matter what. I did this because giving up in the face of slow weight loss was my biggest problem. Once I conquered that problem, the weight has come off. My year has come and gone and I've made a new commitment to a new year of staying on plan no matter what. And each year for the rest of my life I will recommit to this lifestyle. During that first year, it was all about forming habits and it worked really, really well. What I'm doing now is just me. There's no going back because this is now just me. To that end, you might consider a set time frame of a couple months, six months, a year, 12 weeks that you can commit to.

Love this! I think I will start small (30days) and keep going from there!

Eliana
11-30-2010, 11:26 AM
Love this! I think I will start small (30days) and keep going from there!

Great! :D That's why I repeat myself a lot, I guess. LOL! It's the recommitting part that's really important though. I've had several people question me on that point. I never had it in my mind that I was going to "go back to normal" after my set time frame. I just knew that during that set time frame I'd end up developing some really strong habits and I was curious about how far I could come if I just didn't give up for one full year.

Runundefined
11-30-2010, 02:11 PM
Hi!
I just wanted to come in and say I did my walk (could only get in 35min) and also went to the store to lay in the right types of food (going to do low carb for a while to reign in my appetite)..

I am reading the rest of this thread and everyone's wonderful advice. I am very thankful for all of you and that you took time to send me a helping hand!