General chatter - The thought of "growing up..." so scary!




Linsy
11-22-2010, 05:51 PM
I've made another thread about how I need to get a job etc and that I was going to start looking for one after a trip back from out of state in a couple of weeks. I'm wondering why I'm so afraid of working, going to school, and moving out. I've been saying that I need to start working for a long time yet I still haven't tried.

My mom spoils me rotten, and has all of my life. I live with her for free, I hardly have to lift a finger and it's easy to think that I can do this for the rest of my life but I really can't. How do you overcome this?


beerab
11-22-2010, 07:04 PM
It sounds like your parents just made life easy for you- let me guess- no curfew? It's one of those why change a good thing deals? But say your parents got rid of your room and your room was the living room (like was done to 2 of my friends) I'd bet you'd be ready to move out in a heartbeat!

When I lived at home I had curfew- could never go out on weekday nights, etc. The reason I was so motivated to move out was because I didn't really like living at home. Don't get me wrong- I loved my family, but I wanted some freedom too! I couldn't do a thing without my parents permission and they were very strict so most of the time the answer was no (yes it was very upsetting).

When I hit college I lived at home for like half a year then told my parents I couldn't do college while at home- I said if I don't move to campus I'm quitting college. They freaked and let me go. I moved out and it was great.

At first yes it was hard. I had to clean up after myself, feed myself, etc. Living on campus the first year was easier because of the cafeteria, etc, but when I moved out to an actual place I had to do all my cooking and cleaning as well. I learned to cook from quick 5 ingrediant recipes and the rest is history. :)

HadEnough
11-22-2010, 07:09 PM
You said it, your spoiled. I was too. Rotten. But, then my parents both died one year apart and I was forced to grow up. So grow up. I have no idea how old you are, but, do you really want to be dependent on your folks forever? You just need to decide to do it (just like weight loss) AND DO IT! If you don't decide to do it, YOU WILL BE THERE FOREVER. I guess you could say that these 2 issues are directly related. You are overweight and living with your parents, because you are complacent. Comfortable. You are in your safe zone. Well, girl, it's time to step out of your comfort zone and become an independent, self sufficient, self assured woman!!! C'mon, as Nike says.....JUST DO IT! (sorry if I was harsh...but not too sorry)


Glory87
11-22-2010, 09:09 PM
One day you might meet a hot guy - that's when having your own place REALLY is appealing ;)

WildThings
11-22-2010, 10:37 PM
If you think you will actually move across the country, then go for it. Find a job, move, make the leap all at once. People do it everyday (not me, but people).

However, if it's not something you are going to follow through on, you can still make changes. Start taking more responsibility at home. Make your self a list of the thing you should be doing at home (cleaning, cooking, etc.). Stuff that you would have to do living on your own anyway. Once you get a routine established, make a bigger change. Find a job, full-time work. Don't be afraid to apply for jobs that you don't think you are qualified for. You would be surprised, some company's are willing to train a person with little work skills. Next, once you have a job, then look into helping out with some of your mom's bills. Groceries, cable, even paying her rent. Again, the stuff adults do every day. All of these things will help you build the confidence you need to go out on your own.

I'm sure part of the anxiety comes from simply having a mom who has spoiled you. I was not spoiled, however, I lived with my parents until I was 27. It was mostly for financial reasons, plus, I was going to school for several years, but I had huge anxiety problems after I graduated and moved out. I found a job 2-hrs away, was going to be living by myself for the first time ever. I had panic attacks in the month leading up to my move and for the first several months I lived alone. But it was really just because it was so different. For the first 3 months, I told myself every day that I was giving it a year, if I was still anxious all the time, there was nothing stopping me from moving back (except a little pride about being 27 and still living at home). You know what, after a few months, I couldn't imagine living any other way. I found I loved living on my own. I still visit my parents frequently. I've always been close to them, I like seeing them on a regular basis, but I have my own life now. I have an apartment, a job, yes...adult responsibility, but I will gladly take the unfun stuff (bills, cleaning, bills, bills) with the fun stuff.